Kevin Christopher McLane

I was thinking about this photo today and it made me smile. I thought I would share it with you. He had diaper rash so he was naked on his bottom half. Notice the little block :)

Kevin Christopher McLane

Born: November 11, 2003 Died: March 9, 2006

Weight: 7 pounds 8 ounces Length: 20 1/2 inches

We now have a special angel in heaven. He can now rest after such a long, hard journey. Rest in peace my baby. We will always love our little boy.

Journal

Monday, December 29, 2008

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!! Ours was good. Chris and I don't really seem to have much Christmas spirit since Kevin passed away. I thought it might be different this year since we have Scotty...but it wasn't. We didn't even decorate the Christmas tree. Sounds pathetic doesn't it? Grace didn't really care. She had put a couple of things on it. I guess just as long as it had lights and there were going to be presents put underneath that was all that mattered.

Little Miss will be turning 7 years old tomorrow. She is a very big girl for 7 years old. At this rate, she'll probably be taller than me and her dad by the time she is in the 8th grade. She likes to play ball with Scotty. She brings a ball to him and sits down and says, "Let's play ball like I used to do with Kevy." Scotty squeals with excitement every time she rolls the ball to him. She is getting to be a bit of a diva and Chris and I are working on that. She is also extremely sensitive. I don't know what to do about that. I was sensitive as a child too...but not like her. It's draining at times.

Scotty is healthy and is strong as an ox. He won't even attempt to crawl yet. The doctor said that he should be scooting around somehow by the time he is 9 months old. He will be 8 months old this week. (Time flies.) He loves to stand up. He might skip the crawling phase and go right to walking. Lord help me. He is about 25 pounds now and stands about 4 inches below my hipline. He got a couple of things from Santa - but not too much. Santa knew that he had plenty of Kevy's toys to play with. He still only has 6 teeth - but I think some more might be on their way. He tries to bite (me in particular.) His Gan and Pop have taught him "so big" like Kevy. He's too cute. He is starting to act like a boy and throw things. He also learned how to scream. He screams really really loud like a little girl. That's how he gets your attention. He also learned how to take the tray off of his high chair and he hands it to you. As soon as you snap it back on, he has it off again. And if you run out of food before he is full - watch out! He gets very angry when that happens. He also pounds his hand on the tray when you aren't feeding him fast enough.

We have been having issues with getting to the cemetery lately. It's been either too cold to take the baby out or it's been raining. They close at 5pm for the winter months so we can't go during the week at all. I don't get off work until after 5pm. And you know what? I feel guilty about it. I tell Kevy "good night" each night before I lay my head down and I tell him that I'm sorry we haven't been there. We can go Thursday since it is a holiday. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. I'm really looking forward to Spring when we can spend more time there and have a picnic or two. Scotty should be walking by then.

I had issues last night while I was trying to fall asleep. I was thinking about Grace getting married. That won't be for another 20 years - but I thought about walking down that center aisle in church and it really bothered me. I don't want to sit in that front pew. I don't want to walk down that center aisle. I don't want to stand in the vestibule or in front of the church. Twenty years from now will still feel like it was yesterday when Kevin's casket was wheeled down that center aisle for his funeral. Forty years from now isn't going to be any better either. I remembered standing in the vestibule watching the ushers fumbling, trying to figure out how to get the cover to fit over his tiny casket so that it wouldn't drag on the floor as it was made for an adult casket. It doesn't make any sense for me to worry about it now. But I had a hard time getting it out of my head last night. I eventually cried myself to sleep. I shouldn't worry...she can get married in the chapel...or better yet, become a nun. :)

Chris is doing well also. We don't get to do too much besides work and take care of the kids.

I hope that you all have a safe New Year's. I'll be sleeping through it like I have been for the past 7 years. Take care!

Hospital Information:

Heaven

Links:

E-mail Author: km318x@nih.gov