History

Journal History

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 3:19 PM CDT

hello, I promised I would update so here I am updating.

I cannot let this page go, even though I rarely update. It has most of her journey and all of our loved ones comments during that time in our lives and I cannot part with it.

This will be a short sweet update:

We are in our home and it's now starting to feel like home after 4 months of being in it. Looking back, I hated the corporate apartment, but it was so close to fun stuff to do.

Ashton continues to do well. She complains of everything that bothers her even a little- sometimes I am thankful for it and sometimes it grates my nerves b/c I can't tand anything to be wrong with her. I guess I have some serious PTSD happening over here. We need to establish a doc as soon as we can, but I just don't wanna- I'm being a baby, but I have numbers of a couple docs to try out. I am calling tomorrow to set appointments. She was also set to get braces this summer but since we moved we opted out till we found a dentist and orthodontist here in Florida.

Haley is great! She is still my comic releif but also my emotional one who gets SO easily embarrassed! I guess that'll be more fun in a couple years.

In the 5 months since our move we have gone home to Louisiana for 2 weeks- twice! Once for Ashton's confirmation and our neices 1st communion and once for m sweet close friends wedding and our home church's VBS. Oh how we miss our church.
But that's another story.
We've also been to Disney countless times and the waterparks 3x. Ashton had her 2 best friends over for a week last week. That was a blast.
My dad lived with us for most of May and my niece comes in 2 weeks FOR 2 weeks!
Oh, and we(our family) volunteer at Give Kids the World once a month at the Ice Cream Palace- how cool is THAT!

Inbetween all of this we are meeting many cool homeschoolers who we are spending time with and getting to know. Mostly others who love Disney, like we do!

Today we really got into school- we need to finish our school year! Between the move and all of the above, we have about a month left of schooling history and math. Thankfully, we are all WANTING to get into it!

Anyway, until next time- God bless!

Lori

PS- for anyone just reading our journey in past entries-know that we have a happy ending!

Thursday, February 18, 2010 10:14 PM CST

Hi, to my friends and family still keeping up with this page every so often. At the poking and prodding of my cousin/aunt, I am finally doing an update!

Why did she want me to update so badly?

Cuz we didn't move to Houston.

God had changes for our family planned and we found out mid December, while we were IN Houston, househunting, that my hubby had a job offer, same company, with a raise(!) in Orlando, Florida!

Well, umm, lets weigh this out....

Houston- ummm, Texas, umm, some cousins there that homeschool too:),closer to home, nothing required to homeschool and lots of options, lived there before, came home....

Orlando- further from home, do not know a soul except Mickey, but lots of visiting traffic(yay!), DISNEY, Give Kids the World,beach, Florida-the place we have always wanted to move to..............

So our story has a new chapter.

Right now we are living in a corporate apt around the corner from SeaWorld and 1 exit on I-4 from Mickey. All I can say is ....WOW.

The kids are handling it okay, but we all have had some rough days.

You see, we are from right above New Orleans and we moved on January 30th. Right before our hometown had snow, the Saints WON THE FREAKING SUPERBOWL!, and Mardi Gras. Seeing on TV and the computer and hearing the FUN our family and friends are having has just made it all that much harder-but living it vicariously through them has been wonderful!

Some people here do not even know what a King Cake is and so we just need to help them out with some Louisiana culture!

The worst part of the move, by far, was leaving our family, church family and homeschool family. We belonged to the BEST UMC ever in Mandeville, Louisiana. Ever need a church family there? Try them out first!

Our whole family is in Louisiana, so we have trips home to look forward too.

So, we've been asked about WHERE we're gonna vacation now, since we live near our vacation spots(beach and Disney). So we decided we are gonna go to the beach(an hour away) and visit Disney(right now it is 5 minutes away but our home we have a contract on is about 25 minutes away) and come home. MAYBE, one day, we'll take a cruise or fly to the Bahamas since we are so close.

On a kid note:

Ashton is handling it okay. She misses her close friends at home but now she is a typical 12 year old texting princess. Thank goodness for unlimited texting plans. Since we are only required to head to her oncologist once a year, we are NOT changing doctors. We'll just go at Christmas time. I already have the appointment scheduled for January, 2011. Ashton is looking forward to meeting new friends and getting back into a regular school schedule.

Haley is handling it better than last week. She started skipping again this week which is a good sign. She is all of 10 and she is not good with change. She takes after her daddy.........umm, I Lied, she takes after ME. I just wanna blame something on daddy.

I MUST admit, that being so close to Disney, and all it's wonderful spots, is the BEST band aid for a move. We have visited Downtown Disney multiple times, Animal Kingdom Lodge, Wilderness Lodge, Fort Wilderness campfire and a movie, stayed at All Star Music one night the first week we were here (cuz daddy had to go out of town and I feel at home there).

The BEST thing of all is that we are gonna be volunteers at Give Kids the World! This is something Paul and I planned on doing in retirement b/c we just never saw ourselves living here, even though we wanted it and prayed for it before we had kids and asked Paul's boss for it every year at his evaluation.

We're are having an amazing year so far, even if it has been rough.

Saints won SUPERBOWL
Live near Mickey
Be at GKTW
Disneyschoolers.........

And last 2 things, but certainly NOT least. They were planned on being FIRST:

a church home
a home

Pray we close on schedule. We have fears of losing the house and we've been under contract for this house for over a month.

I will let you know. Promise.

Thank you to our friends, far and near, and family, that check up on this site still!

God IS good.

Ashton is healed and doing well.

Friday, October 9, 2009 10:51 PM CDT

Moving to Houston............

This update is more a family update than an Ashton update, although I will mention my oldest baby girl!

This whole move thing is so wierd. It feels as though Chapter Chapter 4 of the Webre family's life is shutting(Chapter 1-wedding and early years, Chapter 2-2 gorgeous baby girls born and THIER early years, which kinda includes Chapter 3-Ashton's leukemia journey, and Chapter 4-life after your kid having cancer). So on to Chapter 5......

but not QUITE yet.

Because we are still here, trying to sell our home, sorta on the edge of our seats, and wondering what the future holds.

We have been here over 10 years, in THIS house. THIS home is the one we brought Haley home to, and Ashton home from induction to. THIS home is the one that had to be so immaculately clean for our chemo kid that I turned neurotic(but not so much any more) for. THIS home has the gold wishing star on the ceiling that Ashton brought home from Give Kids the World. THIS house has my cat buried in the backyard- I had her from the time I was 9 and she died when I was 31. THIS house is where we have our kids birthdays and squish as many friends and family in as possible. THIS house still has the Mickey Mouse bathroom that we started out our marriage with-and that will continue on-LOL. THIS house has seen more tears over the possibility of losing Ashton- but it has also seen more JOY and THANKFULNESS than most. IT has seen the HAPPIEST tears ever over the fact that I have 2 gorgeous HEALTHY children now- PRAISE BE TO THE ALMIGHTY GOD!

Paul and I have LIVED over 10 years here- and it IS just a house. And only God knows why we are having to leave. I LOVE THIS HOME. Yet I know in my heart that God has better plans for us elsewhere. I just don't see it........yet.

To my friends and family- esp my homeschool and St Timothy family- I feel wonderfully surrounded by God loving people who all strive for His will in our lives. Who all want to do the best by thier children. I am unfathomably thankful for all the love and support that God has given us through you in our lives. I wish you all healthy children and long lives on this earth.

THANK YOU!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 8:02 PM CDT

Hi friends and family...

I just wanted to update on special milestones. Ashton has been SIX years off chemo on March 7, 2009!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As her mom,I can tell you that most of time, we feel like a NORMAL family, but a family that has had an extraordinary miracle- one that has forever changed us.

My hubby and I would tell you that we are NOT the same couple we were before cancer. It was so hard to discipline a kid with cancer. SO hard. But we truly tried the have the mindset that she was healed, so we tried to treat her that way. BUT, I can honestly attest to the fact that we WEREN'T a normal family. And as NORMAL as we TRIED to treat her, I KNOW we didn't, b/c we felt she was special, and still do. Both of our kids for that matter-spoiled rotten.

But so sweet. Our girls definitely have thier quirks, like everyone else, but in general, and 90f the time.... we have sweet honest kids.

As ever, if you cannot take me bragging on my girls, then turn away......

Ashton is now ELEVEN and is turning hormonal, but it's all good. I actually LOVE seeing her grow up, even if it is moody at times! As scared as I am of the days when she is moving out and away from me, is as joyful as I feel to watch all this happen. But, we still have a little time!
She loves her dachsunds, Hershey and Snickers. She also loves to get on her sisters nerves.......although I do believe they are good friends. Secretly. She likes to read and is stuck on Harry Potter and all 7 Chronicles of Narnia. I am trying to get her out of that rut, b/c she NEEDS to read new books.Really. Amazing.... and the best part is that she talks to me every night....in secret.She is the "missions coordinator" for our Christian American Girl club.

Haley is NINE and is still curly headed and has the most pitifulbig brown puppy dog eyes. She has a very giving heart and truly looks up to Ashton. She still adores horses and has found a new love for quilting, which she has learned in co-op. Her first quilt was a gift to a baby in the hospital, sick with congential heart defects. It was baby doll sized quilt. She has come a long way this year in her reading. She actually brings and READS a book in bed each night...but I don't say a word. I am so proud! She is also very spirited.

Before cancer, I would have thought this really pitiful bragging, but now I think it is just another testimony to God's perfect healing. If not for Him, I could't say these things. I may not have had the ability to do so.

On a more perfect note, especially for those of you who have followed her journey since I created this CB site, my friend Khristy and her hubby, Corey, are expecting a baby boy this summer!!!!!!!! These are the parents of Kaitlin, Ashton's friend who passed away 5 years ago this week. This little boy is thier #2! He has been awaited for over 8 years!

As much as I want these things behind us, in our past, it cannot be and should not be that way. It all happened for a reason, some we know about and some we never will. It can sometimes STILL be an open wound that stings when I hear of someone new diagnosed or even someone who has symptoms remotely resembling hers at diagnosis.

I STILL LOATHE fever, spleens and livers. Oh and waiting for labs, that is the worst, still.

I LOVE that she is still here with us, breathing and her heart beating.

I STILL beleive I am one of the MOST thankful moms ever, hands down, the MOST THANKFUL!

Lori

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:51 PM CST

Hi friends and family-judt an update to let you know Ashton is doing great, getting older and living life.

She will be 11 in a week and a half anf Haley just turned 9! OMGosh, where has time gone.

Here is my thankful list-although I am thankful for much much more, here is my top 5:

1. my marriage, my hubby-we are entering a different time in our lives, kids getting older, etc and thankfully we love each other MORE than we did on the day we said "I do". I never imagined that!

2. Ashton- her health, her sweetness, even her hormonal changes! She is a tall dirty blonde, browned eyed girl who we are going to have to be concerned about when her daddy allows her to date in 20 years!! Her health, so wonderful and perfect. THANK you Jesus!! What a long road it has been with her.

3. Haley- thankful for all her brown curly haired wonder-I have said it before, it matches her crazy funny personality. She is so much like me, poor girl, but a good thing is that she can handle alone time, likes to play with her dolls and horses and needs nothing but her imagination. My mom has told me I was good about that too-plus I still enjoy by myself time!!

4. this should be #1-I am thankful for our family's belief in s higher power, in Jesus-without Him, all could not be as it is now, OR I couldn't appreciate it like I do. I thank my parents for the introduction, and the Holy Spirit for guiding me the rest of the way-I still need him as I have a LONG way to go on my faith journey!!

5. my extended family and friends- with whome life would be so mundane without, in whatever capacity that has been. Whether is be in a storm, in a joyful time, at the edge, or just passing through-I am thankful for you!

Have a truly Thankful Thanksgiving!

Lori

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 10:33 PM CDT

Okay, so I am 25 days behind, so sorry, but here is the OFFICIAL announcement...

Ashton Elizabeth is now 5 YEARS OFF CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some thoughts about our 'spot' in life right now:

I feel our prayers have come true and that Ashton can be a true light to others who are going through this incredibly emotional roller coaster of the journey through childhood leukemia. Here we are, ready to be of service(like we always have) but with more ammo for the war. God put us in THIS place for a reason and my only hope and prayer is that I can fulfill my use to Him. My purpose. Ashton's purpose.
I have no words or reasons for being allowed this wonderful gift. I am NOT worthy. I know the journey is still on. I know I will still have worries when she gets ill. I know we may never be out of the woods totally. I know that she has a higher incidence of getting a different cancer later in life. YET, the God my family and I serve is MUCH bigger than cancer. Much bigger than worry(even though I am PRO at worry), much bigger than anything our future brings. I have to remind myself of this every so often. Becasue I was wired by my Maker to be imperfect and have freedoms that I cannot always handle very well. I find seemingly "perfect" people rather dull anyway! Life either hasn't smacked them over yet, or they are just THAT oblivious.

I will not be posting on this website anymore(unless nostalgia beckons me back sometime). I have threatened this before but since it took me this long between posts, the timing seems "right". I can tell you that I simply cannot delete it. I have thought about it but SO much of our lives is documented here. PLUS WHAT IF someone runs by it who needs some light shed on thier desperate hunt for hope. here we are, come by and read. Email me, my email address is the same. If you need some hope I will call you and listen and cry with you.

That is how I found Caringbridge.
Looking for information about childhood leukemia.

Our family is enormously different than before Ashton had leukemia. I will probably never be thankful for it like some say, but I can tell you that LOVE and so many other things come out of the circumstances. Beleive it or not, going through chemo became so "normal" for us that for a few years after we found it hard to find our "spot' in life, with friends and family. Some just didn't "get" it. Sometimes it is still uncomfortable for others when it comes up. Sometimes I wonder if they are thinking, "gosh it was so long ago, get over it" or if they are just freaked out that this happened to someone they know. It is reality.
And it sucked. We thought we were to lose her a few times duriong treatment. Or at least relapse, which to us was just as bad. I am sure for those who HAVE relapsed, that they do NOT feel that way. (I have known many to relapse and have LONG term event free survival.) So I do apologize for my statement to you who have endured that burden.

Anyway, I am going to boast a bit now, so log off now if you can't handle it...

Ashton is the sweetest, most giving, persistent, stubborn , procrastinator, beautiful, gorgeous, warm hearted kid who has the biggest love for Jesus than anyone I know. She is very empathetic and would give you the shirt off her back if she had a cover for herself. She is concerned greatly with the well being of those she loves. She prays before putting ANYTHING to her lips in thankfulness. She is VERY hurt is the words, "shut up " come out of someones mouth. And she spends more time hugging her pups goodnight than she does Paul and I. She doesn't enjoy math, but LOVES to read. She has read the Harry Potter SERIES 2 times over(the books are in pieces and I threaten to ship them to JK Rowling's publisher), as well as the Chronicles of Narnia series. She has read ALL of the American Girl books (historical plus some), and most of the Magic Treehouse books. She reads me out of house and home. She is health conscious(thanks to me in her chemo days) and refuses any fast food. She sings/hums the same song over and over and over and over-until her daddy cries, "PLEASE pick another song!" (I say, 'well at least she hums and is happy and it IS a Christian song most of the time!' The other times it is Carrie Underwood, Miley Cyrus, or Rascall Flatts). She loves choir and AWANA which we split halfway through the school year. She barely remembers anything from treatment to our delight. She does remember the last year or so, but things were a bit calmer then. She CLEARLY remembers having a port and ripping the tubing/huber needles out when getting out of bed once(this happened a handful of times, once by ME-cringe here). She LOVED having BMA's and LP's-kinda scary- she liked the "happy medicine" she got before and the pizza after.

And I could boast just as much about Haley, b/c I never like to leave one out. Haley is a much different child, but oh so sweet. She challenges me to be try to find new ways of parenting AND teaching. Too often the sibs go unnoticed. THAT is the nature of childhood cancer. Just a fact. I think God knows who can handle and deal with it. Haley holds her own. She is very independent in a lot of ways and the MOST decisive kid I know. She shops like a man, which I love!!! She goes in(wherever), sees what she likes and sticks with it no matter what else we look at. I make her wait, BUT she STILL goes back to that same thing!!

I have felt guilt about the time taken away from her at such a young age(11 months-her whole second year of life was a blur), but as a friend told me recently about a totally different subject, "Guilt is not from God"-at least THAT sort of guilt. Looking back, we know we did our best to include her, to spend time with her, to spoil her and be thankful for her. But from birth, she was independent in those ways she still is. She hated being rocked to sleep as a baby, just put her in bed and she was off to neverland. I realized that she is just a differnt kid and the guilt may have been there anyway-being she is our second child. The first one had all that one on one time with you anyway and with subsequent kids, it is just few and far between.
Yeah, it may sound excuse-ish, but it is a fact. She has come out to be pretty empathetic herself and she is my "normal" kid, oblivious to worries about health. I LOVE watching her play-she STILL loves dress up and I swear God did that for me(shame on me for swearing!!)He knew I needed a kid who just LIVES and plays and had the most wonderul imagination. She loves Jesus as well and we are hoping He is as engraved into her heart as Ashton has Him. She is TRULY a KID.
Haley is scared my storms since Katrina, any storm.
She is GREAT at math and her reading is good but reading for enjoyment is coming along. She LOVES horses and dress up. She rode English style for about a year. She recently told me she wants to be Belle for Halloween(yeah, in 6 momths) and this warmed my heart-I still have my princess. She has beautiful big brown eyes that just break your heart when she is upset. The bear she carries around has been with her since birth that I gave her(awwww!). She adores Ashton, as well as LSU football, and NASCAR, which her daddy is quite taken with! She takes care of her pups like no other.
Haley dances to her own tune and I love that about her SOOOO much.

Thank you for allowing me, for once, to boast about my children. Even though you were the one who chose to read it and I wrote it because it is MY FAMILY's(ASHTON's ) site!!! And I could.heehee...

Thank you to all those who have prayed and shared these past years with our family. It has been a LONG journey and I am glad this much is behind us. Breathing has been much easier. Of course, I will NOT tell you to move on with prayers, never would it happen that I ask for someone NOT to pray for my children. BUT PLEASE pray for kids RIGHT NOW in the hospital fighting for thier lives and thier caregivers-for strength through the One who can give it. While we watcvh tv and our kids are sleeping soundly, some kid is running up and down the hallways of a Childrens cancer wing living thier last days on this earth. The fight having been rough and long and debilitating, wearying and sad. But those kids know something we don't and they are ready to be HAPPIER than any of us are here, right now.

This is my , hopeful last plea to donate blood, platelets, bone marrow(get on that registry!!), and time and/or money to places that care for these kids and sustain research for cures. Just DO it.

I am going to give blood myself(shame on me for not in the past months, maybe a year)this weekend or next Monday. Paul and i are on the bone marrow transplant list-it was nothing but a blood test- and activated.

Love to all of you, you have menat everything to me and i leaned on your love and prayers for so long-thank you!!! I can never repay the peace you have provided.

Lori and family

Friday, December 7, 2007 0:23 AM CST

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in soooo long-we've been busy planning our 5 years off treatment Disney trip! Oh and doing some school too!!
Anyway, Ashton continues to thrive and live a wonderful life(so far!) flippin' and floppin' in gymnastics and reading reading reading- she reads a LOT!! She just turned 10! WAH!!!!!!!!! Haley is now 8 and keeps us laughing-takes after her daddy, more often than not-sarcasm just drips from her at times... in a good way(most of the time). She continues to love horses but is not riding at this time as her instructor moved away and we are still looking for someone to replace her. She is looking forward to riding every ride at WDW with me! Ash is weary of Expedition Everest-so we'll see. It don't matter as long as we are having fun-CELEBRATING LIFE!!!!!
It has hit us hard this past week that TEN was that # in our heads that if she made it to 10- that we felt we may be able to breathe a bit like BEFORE cancer. Well, it will never be thr same, not should it. Cancer has given us a better outlook on life, one that only certain people can say they can realte too. Yeah, it has taken away a lot too. I have finally admitted that we live/ed in fear and although that can be a bad thing, it can also , if looked upon in the right light, open up ANOTHER outlook on life that can be GREAT. I guess I mean that we know life is fragile(fear), but that people are strong, we know that our life can change in a few moments(fear), but it still goes on with or without us-and even if it is without temporarily, a whole 'nother way to look at life emerges. That is what happened to us. We lived in fear(and still do a bit) and it scared us into seeing things in a different light-and hey, we have evolved as a family better and closer for it with a love for Jesus- together.

Anyway, we are in another battle of sorts. But instead of a cell we can't see with the naked eye, that has no known cure, it is of a BUG that is hard to see and the cure can be time consuming and aggravating, yet CURABLE!! The louse is a tough little bug, very squiggly and hard to KILL, or smoosh. The eggs , or nits, of this bug are seemingly micrscopic and easy to miss. They are not always exterminated with the various poisonous products out there b/c they have become IMMUNE to them. Strong little suckers, they are. Thankfully, thier life cycle spans 2 weeks and we are DAILY combating them with mayonaise and olive oil and tea tree oil...combing and picking and going through EACH hair. It says in the bible only God knows how many hairs are on our head, and while I have no idea how MANY(leaving that to the big Guy!), I can sure tell you I have touched each one and it takes me an hour to and hour and a half per head. And the lice nits still can escape my sight! With a flashlight, some tape and a nit comb I go to battle. My back aches and the kids are down(and a bit whiney about laying there so long some times) and Paul wonders HOW in the world they exist-to what purpose do they serve? He is a great trooper, battling the BUGgers with me- combing through each strand when he is on the battlefield with me to do it. Victory is eminent! Just give me a few more loads of bedding, stuffed animals and possibly a nap!

57 days and counting till our big trip!!

Thank you for signing in, we love you and appreciate it so much. I save these from time to time on a disc for Ashton-in her future she can look upon all the love sent her way and prayers thast helped us get through some rough times!

Love and Merry CHRISTmas,
Lori

Friday, July 27, 2007 11:16 PM CDT

Ashton had her 4 year 4 month checkup today(ha). Almost to the 5 year mark!

Another healthy day -Praise the Lord.

Platelets=213,000

WBC=4.5

Hemoglobin=13.2

ANC- don't know but I am betting it was fine!

Paul brought her today(I had to work a horrendous day). He has brought her maybe 2x (besides the whole beginning months of inpatient stuff)and I have to say, I LIKED it. I didn't have my normal anxiety of going to Childrens, but maybe God is working on me and I would not have had it anyway. But I was so busy at work, that when Paul called I could not answer. When I did, he told me Dr. Gardner was unimpressed with her allergy and hive issues-so that makes me happy. Whatever doesn't impress her about Ashton is nothing to worry about in my eyes.

We have started school and Gabbi(our cousin) is doing well as expected with all her shifting all around the place.
We have 5 birthdays between this weekend and next. I feel badly for the ones we'll miss,but my children and hubby have decided to charm thier friends with thier presence! I am working and had little vote in the matter!

Her next appointment with oncology is November 2007, THEN hopefully we'll jump to every 6 months. I thought she was changing to the NOW, but Paul told me they said, "nope", still at every 4-bummer.
We are at 6 months and a few days away from our Disney trip. How spoiled are we. I told my sister today that if I lived a life with NO Disney World or Disney Land, I would be JUST as happy. It really doesn't mean anything in the life God gave us-but it sure is a PERK! There is nothing better than good health, lots of true love and the belief that there is a BETTER place waiting for us at the end of this life. During our darkest moments with Ashton's treatment, I used to think that THAT place couldn't come to soon for me, b/c this place can be painful.
Haley had been a light for us and I feel I need to mention her more often-b/c w/out her , we would (have had to) miss out on many laughs and lots of cuddles and LOVE. She has more of my heart than she could ever know.
Give those sibs of sick kids(or previously sick kids!) a big HUG, they need it.

Lori

Thursday, June 28, 2007 10:09 PM CDT

Hi Rachel, we are here!! I love that you still keep up with us and we post less than ever in the past months! I guess that is a good sign. Sorry, though. I have someone new for you to pray for-his name is Tony and he is fighting neuroblastoma. he has a CB site that I will have the address to soon.

Ashton is doing well and Haley is too. Ashton is continuing gymnastics and Haley is still riding horses every other week. We LOVE homeschooling and are enjoying our free SUMMER! We are starting back to school in mid July. Ashton has recently been having hives, and of course, that gives me hives- on the inside, that is!
Her next oncology appointment is at the end of July. We are planning our big Disney trip for next February. We are calling it our "Celebrate Life" trip-b/c Paul and I like to tip toe through major milestones in Ashton's survivorship. I think it is a better name than "Ashton is going to be 5 years off chemo on March 7, 2008" trip. We are getting "Celebrate Life " embroidered on the back of the t-shirts we will where there-or at least most of them.

We will be doing our pillowcase project again for Children's Hospital. I have received no feedback(don't expect it, really) so i don't know if they really like it or not. All I know is that every time Ashton was hospitalized, she had specific sheets we used to make it feel more homey. That is our goal.
Ashton and Haley are also planning more popsicle stand sales to benefit different places, like Children's, GKTW, LLS, and Angels Place. They keep nothing for themselves-does a momma(and daddy) proud! They make big signs with the price and who it is going to. I would say they racked up about $40 last summer in 2-3 sales!

They just keep growing and we couldn't be more pleased with THAT! Like I mentioned before-back in September 2000, I NEVER saw this day-and here it is!

Happy Summer!
Lori

Thursday, March 29, 2007 8:53 AM CDT

Hi! I did not know nothing was on our page! And for so long! Now that may be a blessing!

Ashton just passed her 4 years off chemo on March 7, 2007-WOW! We are thrilled to be getting soooo far away from that time in our lives. We know we will never be the same from this whole leukemia experience and that is a blessing.

Haley continues to take horsebasck riding and Ashton is in gymnastics but has found a new love... AWANA. She is flying through the books and loving every moment. Haley loves to sing in the choir at our church and is not all that interested in AWANA so it makes our Wednesday nights interesting. AWANA is at another church so Paul brings her there and heads home for a bit to do his bible study, while Haley and I head to our church for choir and dinner and then I keep the kids whose parents are in a bible study that night.

LOTS going on in our lives right now with my niece Gabbi that needs prayers. My sister has made some mistakes and it will greatly change the future for Gabbi and herself. It is amazing how the things we do today that are not on a straight and narrow path can affect you down the line so greatly. For Gabbi's sake, we are hoping this all works out smoothly and that her parents can work out a plan to make everyone happy-mostly GABBI. They cannot forget, in the heat of anger, the life that is bound to them. It has been heartbreaking and HARD. My sister is now in counseling to help get down to her issues at the root, but in the meantime, is doing her best to be a good mom and good to herself. A Good mom she is and always has been, but had a 6 month lapse in judgement(for herself but affected Gabbi, too) that is now affecting our whole family. We are hoping and praying for a peaceful agreement between 2 lives that crashed and burned. Hoping and praying the anger will subside for Gabbi's sake.

On another note- Paul and I just got back from a trip to DisneyLand by ourselves-no kiddos! They weren't thrilled about it but it was an opportunity that came up and we jumped on it. (My trip report is on the DISboards) After DisneyLand, we got home and me and the kiddos hopped on over to Pensacola to visit thier cousins for 2 days. They had a blast and got hermit crabs-they named them Pensacola and Beachy. The kids enjoyed the sound better than the gulf just because it is clear and shallow and not wavey!

Gonna go back soon as we can!

God Bless and have a wonderful Easter!

Sunday, January 21, 2007 9:54 PM CST

SPIRITUAL WARFARE and introspective...

Hello-I know it has been a while! Lots of yucky stuff happening in our family, but thankfully, none of it is about Ashton or Haley. Ashton is doing wonderful and for that, we are thankful. We have had wonderful holidays celebrating the birth of Jesus and a new year! I cannot beleive it-my survivor is 9 years old. And very sassy, I might add-but still so full of life and love. She is enjoying gymnastics and Haley is loving her horse back riding lessons. We do have to go back to see the oncologist in February so please keep praying for her health to continue! She has been having an allergy sounding cough, and dry skin too-but I can honestly say that I have been feeling really, well, not worried. Maybe it's time gone by, maybe we just need to feel semi normal. I am not above worrying every once in a while, but it has been peaceful and I thank God for that daily. Of course, when that certain Friday in February comes I will feel a bit anxiety I am sure. I feel this is where we are supposed to be though-I don't think God intends for me to worry about the floor being quickly taken from under us, like I had been for 6 years. Life of a cancer kids' mom and dad is still confusing, though the air seems clearer and we like it. Lately when I read about something sad , like a kid relapsing 7 years OT, I get upset and cry, but realize that I have no power to stop it other than prayer. Yet, I do not think that we are above God allowing this to happen to us ever again. Wow! Have I reached a point in my life that I will take what He dishes?? Not that I have a choice! Maybe for now I can. Heaven forbid she relapse b/c I know I'll take this all back-it's in my nature. Yet I do know who the ultimate Healer is-and I will depend on Him in desperation, again.
I don't look at Ashton like my sick little child any longer. I look at her as a wisdom filled child with so much to give our world; no matter how small her gift is, the impact will be great. I only pray it stays like this forever and my husband and I can continue to watch her grow in God's love and become a flowering adult. We look forward to the day we can bring our kids and thier husbands and our grandchildren to the beach or to Disney World, or just to have Sundays as a family. I prays it's this smooth. I know there will be bumps in the road, but please, dear Lord, no more tragedy to my children. I also just pray we can be good parents to her and Haley, bring them up the best we can. I think the BEST gift you can give a child is being together. Although I have no idea what our future holds, that is our plan. I know stuff happens, but I will fight-like Ashton did leukemia-to keep it together. I tend to leave Haley out of this sometimes and for that , shame on me. She went through a lot of missing her mom and dad at a young age when Ash was sick. She is a survivor too-I try to make sure she knows it. Now that little fireball is hilarious and has her own mind-but it is wonderful-she is very good at playing quietly on her own with her AG doll or her horse trailer and stable- she has a vavid imagination. Ashton needs a little more interaction with others, but will read for hours! haely , although less ofte, shows she has a deep heart (she gets her feelings hurt easily) and is my cuddlebug. When she has her mind on something, it rarely, if ever, changes-sooooo, I won't be surprised if she at least DATES a little boy she admires and likes so much now(scary and you know who you are!)and he lives on a farm-pretty coincidental, don't'cha think?? Now I do not condone this nor am I putting this into her head(to her daddy's delight), but I wouldn't be surprised at all. The one thing they have in common is persistence. Ashton will land the first job she interviews for b/c they won't hear the end of her! They will give her a job to quiet her! She is relentless in her endeavors-when she has a goal in mind.

The fact I can even WRITE this about my children is a miracle to me. Who am I to have two beautiful children, one who was life threateningly sick, one who missed out on lots of mommy time at 1 year old -and I still have them! Who am I to have a child go through this and live, when so many die? I do have to say this, the fact she is still here with me makes the fight more important-we have to fight for those we lost in this terrible battle we have no control over. Like Jack Bauer says- "I will not die without a purpose" or something like that!

For now, "bye bye worry"- don't come back too soon-in fact why don't you stay away forever!
(if it makes any sense at all to other CK parents, I am a little apprehensive about having written that:))Just a little...I certainly don't want to be cocky-you know what happens to them!

Friday, December 22, 2006 1:29 AM CST

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Thanks for the posts, friends! (I am hoping Rachel, that you got your e-card I sent, but it may have been an older e-mail address)

We are all doing well trying to stay dry in this continuous rainpour. Having conjestion, etc, but overall, Ashton and Haley are well and rambunctious-the best way to be!

Eagerly awaiting Santa and trying to keep our eyes and hearts on Jesus.

Many thoughts and prayers for a wonderful Christmas and a HAPPY new year to you!

US

Friday, December 22, 2006 1:23 AM CST

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS!!!!

WE love you and send you the best and hopes for a wonderful NEW YEAR!!!

Love, The Webre's

Paul,Lori, Ashton, Haley, and Hershey!

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 9:50 PM CST

Happy BIRTHDAY on December 1 to my baby!!!!! Ashton is now 9 years old and doing so so so so wonderful!!!We are now at like 15 months until she is OT 5 years-little less scared, much more thrilled- than in the past!

She had a wonderful birthday weekend-lunch with a friend that shares the same birthday, shopping with Haley and mom, Santa and "snow" in the mall, family over for dinner and cake and presents for the birthday kid!!!

She had a full weekend-getting so big- I actually think she is hitting pre-pubescent emotions lately-THAT is scary. Weepy, happy, persistent to the point of being annoying(and you KNOW I'd never say that EVER!!). Lovin' every minute(3/4 smile here)!! No, you know we really do.

She is doing well in school and has moved up to the NEXT level in gymnastics again- not once has she been in the same level more than ONE session!!(beginner, intermediate, bronze, silver) That really doesn't matter, b/c I'd be just as proud if she was in the same level for YEARS!!! I just love that she puts her heart and soul into it and it shows-and not just to me.

Happy CHRISTmas!!

Monday, November 6, 2006 0:04 AM CST

Hi- Ashton had an appointment a few weeks ago and we are happy to say that she has been moved from every 3 months to every 4! Small moves, but don't they make a big difference!??!

We have also set a date for the trip to Disney. But as excited as I am to book it- I am also a bit nervous. And in disbelief that we are actually starting to plan it. We said, a LONG time ago-when Ashton was still on chemo-maybe even in the first weeks after DX, that when she got to 5 years OT, we'd plan a big Disney Celebrate Life trip. We are not there yet , but if you look at the ticker above-you can see we are getting closer. I cannot celebrate after hearing of our friends relapse, but I do feel happy to start planning for Ashton and Haley. We have tiptoed through all of the milestones. We celebrated quietly at home. We could have had a big party but decided to make the BIG one after 5 years OT. Yes, I have announced all of the milestones-I have been ecstatic over every one-had cake too!
She is doing great- getting flu shot tomorrow-taking gymnastics and doing handstands constantly! She won the handstand contest last Friday for her age group! I guess it's paying off.
Haley has her riding lesson tomorrow with Snowy- her trainers horse. he is beautiful. Makes you want to move to the country and get a horse!
Well, I am tired-talk to you later-Love and Prayers to all our CB friends!
Lori

Friday, October 27, 2006 11:33 PM CDT

hello. We are exhausted but I thought I'd update anyway. We are waiting for daddy to get home from the airport-anxiously!! We have missed him all week-esp. the kids. Ashton and Haley are staying up late waiting for him to pull in the driveway-Haley is very excited as she is running around(it is 11:30pm!) making me more tired!

Ashton is continuing to do well- although the sleep patterns around here have'nt been so hot! I have ot say that she is a BIG help-so mature for her young age. She is very intuitive about others feelings. Maybe I am wrong, but I do think it it is rare to have an 8 year old so empathetic to others feelings. She was so tired tonight after her gymnastics she looked pitiful. We saw a friend in the store who asked if she needed a hug b/c she looked so tired and worn. I think missing daddy, gymnastics and restless sleeps are taking it's toll. Please continue to pray for her health. She continues to be a healthy beautiful child!

Haley has been excellent today considering our long hours. She has been having frequent meltdowns in the past weeks/months and today was a first to NOT have one in a while. A friend gave her a horse book that she struggled a little to read-but read it nonetheless-WANTED to read it-I am so thankful and proud of her today! She is going on her third horseback riding lesson and LOVES it! You can see her smile as she learns to balance on a horse and guide him to where the trainer says.
I never want her to feel second to Ashton, whether it by being the second kid or the whole Ashton was the center of our family universe for a while. I loathed that about cancer that but it had to be what it was and we did our best to give both kids equal attention-but even the best parent of a sick kid can say they demand more attention. I have often come close to bailing on her and putting her back in the school system-thinking that was the hole in her life-but I also feel that belting her back out there will make it worse, that her instability is something deeper that we need to address before that day comes, if ever. I cannot imagine schooling one and not the other, but she had given us some rough days. Beleive me, it was just a thought on the roughest of days. She is so different from Ash in every way-they look different, they like different things, Haley plays best and wonderfully by herself in her own little world(she has an AMAZING imagination) and Ashton seems to like someone to play with her-even me. Haley is a lot like me-to herself and comfy in a structured world. I am not as structured as i once was, but then I am not the most "together" either. I would be much more productive in a more structured world. Ashton comes and goes with what comes to her-a lot more resilient. That is NOT from me. Haley is funny and smart as all get out- Ashton is kind'a sarcastic(like me and Paul!), but sooo genuine. Ashton excels at reading and language arts and Haley does better at math. Not copmparing as much as I am pondering how different 2 kids from the same parents can be. Well my goal for myself, my hubby and my kids is to get a bit more structured. The most structure they have is bedtime when daddy is home!! AND the fact we do school in some way everyday!! Everything else is come as it may and we will deal.

Alright talk to you later-thanks for the prayers-I believe in miracles!

Saturday, October 14, 2006 6:23 PM CDT

Ashton has officially been "in remission" for 6 years now!!!
She was declared this on October 13, 2000-her little sister, Haley's FIRST birthday!!! Since we wish not to take away any eyes off of the birthday kiddo every year- we officially celebrate Remission Day on October 14th!!
Although we are THRILLED about Haley being a year older and Ashton being in remission another year- we still tread softly since this is not 5 years from being off chemo yet. That day will be on March 7, 2008.

So we are thrilled today and celebrate each day she is growing up anyway! As Haley prays every night, we are so "happy that Ashton and cancer are getting far away from each other".

On a very ground shaking note, one of her co-battlers in this war against leukemia just relapsed a month ago. This special young lady was diagnosed originally the same week as Ashton. So even though we are celebrating this day, we can't help but feel that gasping for air when we hear of things that hit so close to home. Just when you are thinking about the ground seeming more firm to stand on, it shakes a bit. Ashton and Isabel are 3.5 years off chemo and Isabel is back on chemo now. Wierd and sad and I could cry. I HAVE cried over this. This was not supposed to happen, right? 3 and a half years out?? Well, I have heard she is doing as well as she can be.I will find out more soon.

Enjoy this wonderful fall weekend(at least down here in the south!!) We are actually having a real fall down here this year!
Lori

Sunday, October 1, 2006 0:43 AM CDT

YAY October is here!!! After , like, a week of wonderful weather-it is steamy again. The kids are outside with dad, camping in the backyard in our new tent. I am very excited b/c we are now going to be looking for a used pop up camper-I am thrilled!!! I grew up camping 2-4 times a year in one and have a hubby who is not a "camper"-yet loves me dearly enough to start this new thing with our family!!! I think, after tonight, he'll be happy to get a camper w/ AIR!!! And a potty!!

Some new things are happening with my niece, Gabbi, so please keep her in your prayers. Don't know what the long term will bring, but hopefully it will leave her well adjusted(like she IS), better off, and more loved. Not that this is possible, because, well, she is a VERY loved little kid!! But more love can't be a bad thing, right??!!
Just pray Julie , nor Gabbi, are ever hurt from this new experience.It is something that can change her whole life whether it be good or bad. Just pray it is good. On a very good note-she is a budding !!! I cannot wait to see her in her cute little uniform!

Ashton and Haley are doing well. Nothing to report on the school front too much-we are really just doing basics and taking MANY field trips this year. Ashton is enjoying AMERICAN HISTORY!!! I up because this was SO dull to me at her age. Haley is doing well in math and on the road to true independant reading(it has been and IS a long road as this is NOT her favorite subject). She is about to take horeback riding lessons and is THRILLED about that. She'd asked for 2 years now and I was hoping it would pass-like a fad- but here we are. She wears her boots and helmet every day. Ashton is doing gymnastics and LOVES it-flip flops around all day long-on the way to the bathroom, etc...she loves handstands and holds them pretty darn good.
As far as REMISSION from leukemia, she is still doing GREAT and we couldn't ask for more.

I do have a prayer request-September was filled with grief for a lot of families we know and we want to move on but not forget to help them out with prayer and whatever else we can do. A little that Ashton was dx'd at the same time (September 2000) has relapsed and her family is just beside themselves. We are 3.5 years off chemo-just when you start to breathe again. Her aunt works with me and keeps me up to date. I just want to stay home and hug my kids so tight.

Enjoy every stinkin' moment, ya'll and thank God for them.

so much for slowing down...

Lori

Friday, September 15, 2006 10:11 AM CDT

6 years ago today Ashton started a journey...

Bone Marrow aspiration, spinal tap, port a cath, first dose of chemo followed up by 2.5 years of oral, IV, IM(shot) spinal chemo and more - about $300,000

Many art supplies (for paper and self!), videos, toys, natural vitamins and herbs that would help her through her journey, drives to the hospital for fever and chemo, food she would actually eat for steroid pulses and hospital stays, day trips, a vacation or 2 since we did not know what was in our future and the necessity for a little fun, her own toilet seat for public toilets, and the many cleaning supplies we used daily so she wouldn't get sick- hah!! probably about $10,000 or so(guess)

Today, being able to watch her and experience her GROW up, to hear her tell me that Jesus took her cancer away at the age of 3, dance, stand on her head, learn, teach ME, LOVE God, have wisdom beyond her young years, get into trouble and do rotten 8 year old things, SURVIVE- completely , utterly, wonderfully PRICELESS

There is my sad try at a mastercard comm. I look back and thank God for insurance, Childrens Hospital, Make a Wish, Visa(ha!) etc, but mostly for all your prayers and strength you gave us.
That is what truly got us through the worst of days. 6 years ago the floor came out from under us, our world as we knew it changed (to our benefit in some areas of life), we couldn't breathe. As the years have gone by it has gotten a bit easier to breathe, the floor seems to stay- although it shakes at times like it's threatening to come out again-and life goes on.

Please continue your prayers for Ashton, for kids in the hospital right now and their caregivers, for anyone who has lost a child, no matter how-it is an unbearable thing to even think about , much less experience, but it can happen to even the best of us. (sorry, that sounds raw, but it is true, although thankfully not as often these days)
We will never forget this journey, but oh so glad it is, slowly but surely , getting BEHIND us.

Love, Lori

P.S. Oct. 14, Ashton hits remission for 6 years!, and don't forget Light the Night is Oct 21 at Zephyr Field

Friday, September 15, 2006 10:11 AM CDT

Tuesday, August 22, 2006 6:55 PM CDT

I just wrote one of my best journal entries ever and my PC "burped" or something and I am peeeeeeeooooooooeeeeddddd!

We are good- i'll get back at you later-Lori

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 0:31 AM CDT

Hi!
It's been a while and I saw some sweet entries and thought we'd say hello.
Ashton is at camp right now and mom and Haley are having some much needed bonding time!
Her last appointment was great, thank you, and we are all doing well and having a good summer.
Ashton and Haley have already started back into school a week and 1/2 so far and things are going. We will start back up on Monday.

If any of you have followed our journey the whole time, you will remember a little friend Kaitlin Gonzalez who passed away in March of 2004. She had rhabdomyosarcoma. Her mom and dad have moved on to Texas and are really wanting another child. If ever anyone should have a child , it's them. Kaitlin was thier only and it's been hard for them to have another so far. We can only guess why God allows more pain in the lives of parents who have lost a child, but there IS a reason. I'd be pretty upset myself though and I can not even fathom how they feel.She is in nursing school now(she'll be a great one!) and her husband is a youth pastor. Please keep them in your prayers. God knows who you'll be praying for.

Haley got her hair cut today and her ears pierced!
Photos on photo page. YES we cut her precious ringlets off, but she still has curl!

I am sure Ashton would like to tell you thank you for all your prayers and to please keep praying not only for herself, but for all the kids in the hospital tonight and thier caregivers and parents to be STRONG and for HEALING.

But she is at camp, possibly getting NO sleep, eating junk, getting dirty, not writing her mommy a letter and having a BLAST!

Thursday, April 20, 2006 10:28 PM CDT

May 7,2006:
Hi. I am wanting to move on. I don't think I'll let the sight go, but I am thinking of entering journal's less and less, tapering off. Of course I will always check it and check up on CB friends, but I want this time in our lives to be completely past us-5 Years is the official time and I probably will keep the site until then-just to keep a few friends up. I wish I never needed it, yet I did and still do a bit. I love all who I have "met" through Ashton's CB journey and at best, I hope to have given and still give HOPE to others whose children battle leukemia. Here is a survivor- a beautiful, lovely strong, sweet survivor- a lovely little whom I love past the moon and around the solar system a million times. She is growing up, FAST at that, shocking me every day. I will still help fundraise and awareness-I don't think that will ever go away-it is a type of "insurance" for me to do that. What if my dollar put someone over the edge and found a cure or a better at the least that gives a higher cure rate?? I HOPE and PRAY this journey is truly in our past-and cannot thank you enough a trillion times over for your thoughts and prayers.

I may change my mind tomorrow b/c I may have said this before, but I'll update at SOME point in her future and tell you how GREAT she is doing!!!

P.S. She got sick with some crazy virus that causes headaches and fever a few days after her appointment(below). It lasted 3-4 days. Made ME crazy and feverish! her labs were GREAT at her hem/onc appt. but went DOWN by the following Wednesday, then by the following Friday were working themselves back up. She has been doing well since though! The fatigue hung on but she is pretty much back to "normal"!

Just an update:

Ashton is doing wonderfully- so full of spunk and smarty pants-ish antics!!

She has an appointment at the oncologist tomorrow and of course, I am asking for prayers for good labs and checkup!!

School is going well although we have a had a lapse in it from vacation(went to Chicago-American Place, Shedd, Field Museum, Wrigley field!), Easter and this week we worked with one car and we had to bring daddy to work and pick him up-it was a mess-how spoiled we are!!

Some recent thoughts...
It's amazing, the love we have for our children.
I can hardly remember life before them with me.
I that cancer has made me so unsure- its' funny to hear other people talk about thier kids future so confidently. Or the need to sign them up for school years in advance. I am now more able to plan a bit, but still pretty much live week to week(month to month on some things) instead of day to day, like we did during chemo. I look forward to and have hope for thier future-graduation, marriage, first dance, first date, off to college, thier kids-just basically living longer than Paul and I.
Today at the park I was reminded how precious thier lives are-not that i forgot, but the sting of it hit me and I looked at them in a different light. The light I looked upon them every day during Ashton's treatment. I have been thinking about finding some way to make/save some more money to pay off these bills that we racked up with Paul in school and Ashton on treatment. But we do okay and ONE day-hopefully, they will be paid. But for now, I will enjoy the moments I have with Ashton and Haley-and let nothing get in the way of that. I guess when they are grown and gone(married or in college),paying those bills will be a priority(cause we'll probably still be paying on them!!)-my kids are only this age once, and I am NOT missing it!!

Sunday, March 19, 2006 11:32 PM CST

Hello!

I found out recently about a little who need prayers! Her name is Cassidy and she was just dx'd with Stage IV neuroblastoma-she is 6 years old. She just started treatment last week and went home today. PLEASE sned up PRAYERS of healing for her!

Ashton and Haley are doing wonderful-counting the days until Chicago and American Store!
Ashton was asked to be the honored patient again for the leukemia Cup Regatta! We had the kickoff last night and it was great except for the fact that Ashton AND Haley, for that matter, were little pills!! They both straightened up though and I had to BRIBE my daughter to smile and say "hi" on a microphone! She IS the honored "skipper" for it- so we thought she should at least be thankful! It's funny that no matter how aggravated we get with our kids, we still think that we'd rather them give us a little trouble than not be here at all-I am THANKFUL to be aggravated with my children! they DID have reason to be little pills though- we had 2 late nights and a birthday party before the kickoff party-we TRIED to get them to nap, but they never fell asleep-they did lay down though.

Friday, they used thier gift cards they got for Christmas that was given to them my good ole' Uncle Mike and Aunt Kim and Brynne-to Club Libby Lu! Paul would have really keeled if he saw how much make up they put on thier faces!! So it might have been good that daddy never ever saw it-only in pictures! It WAS a lot- but they LOVED every moment-Ashton was a "rock star" and Haley was the "tween idol" I think- she had the microphone one- so up Haley's alley as she LOVES to sing-even in hairbrushes at Walmart! She sings everything she is doing: cleaning her room, playing barbies, going to the bathroom;), in the tub,etc...
Saturday, they had good friend Bailey's birthday party, who just turned 6! It was a poodle party with spacewalk and pinata-so they were tired after that party!! Esp after the late night out before. Then a couple hours b/f the Regatta Kickoff, which i already wrote about.

I was amazed at how quickly the sailors are back on thier feet-maybe not completely , but some were sailing 2 weeks after Katrina from what i have heard! One of the yacht clubs that participate is the one that was burning day after Katrina-Southern Yacht Club, and Pontchartrain Yacht Club was gone on the northshore and they are operateing out of trailers, also. NOYC also was gone-many lost thier boats and STILL they are sailing and raising money to cure leukemia and lymphoma! I am impressed-I don't know much AT ALL about the whole sailing thing- but it seems to me, after all the photos and video of the devastation, that they definitely have a passion for sailing- like we have passion about helping out in our small little way, of curing leukemia-and seeing it in our lives-GOD i hope I do!

Which is WHY we do these honored patient things-they are SO worth the time. Can't do as much as we'd like and sometimes even feel like Ashton is doing so well, why do we want to dredge up all this crud we went through-well, because it ain't over for us completely. And we want Ashton to be thankful to God for her miracle. It also reminds US to be thankful for her miracle and that of even remotely being deserving enough for God to have even given us Ashton and Haley. We did NOT deserve for Ashton to have done so well, but God has given us SO much in her that we are eternally greatful to the Giver. We'll take it, thank you very much!

Have you seen "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe"- I love how it portrays that God does work through us in ways we don't see until things are clear afterward-or until we beleive! And that even our own ways are planned and used by God, even if they are rotten ways-we get punished, we serve the punishment, we are forgiven, we go on... I think it's coming to DVD next week or next month-AWESOME movie! I have read all of the books except, I am in the middle of the last one-#7. they re good reads for s and maybe a good reader of 8 and up. They are not real long either.

Sorry for rambling-oh get an extra prayer in there for Julianna Banana from Canada who is finishing a long haul of chemo in April!! www.caringbridge.org/canada/julianna
Her parents are a bit nervous about losing thier safety net.

Love, Lori

Monday, March 6, 2006 11:06 PM CST

3 YEARS !!! March 7th will be 3 years since her last pill and shot of CHEMO! praise God- thank you!

Please let her tongue or body NEVER have to endure another bit of poison ever again!
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers and keep 'em up for another 50 years!!! okay, i'll breathe easier, I think, when she hits 5 years! But God please let her have a LONG beautiful life!

the Webre family- HAPPY today!!

Thursday, March 2, 2006 9:54 PM CST

have GREAT news!!
Ashton's 1st grade teacher , who is using Ash as a guinea pig(to my delight and Ashton's), has been given preliminary findings on her tissue biopsy- she was dx'd with uterine cancer in November- and it seems to be comlpetely negative!! It was sent off to another place for further testing to make sure- but boy is it looking GOOD! We are thrilled for her and her husband!
Hoping to hear the OFFICIAL results soon!

AND Ashton has no more swollen glands and no more pain!!
3 years off chemo is around the corner and we are so thrilled!

Lori

Saturday, February 25, 2006 8:44 PM CST

HI! Well I let some of you know via e-amil that Ashton had some swollen glands behind her right ear- it seems okay and the zithromax has helped them go down pretty quickly-thankfully. I will feel better when the antibiotics wear off and it doesn't happen again. We have little reason to be worried except, well, I am PROFESSIONAL! She is acting normal, went to PE and gymnastics the day after the pain hit. OF COURSE. I went online to pubmed or webmd and looked up swollen glands and the second paragraph mentions the "l" word- but that the glands are usually slow to swell and not painful. Who Knows!!
I am really not as concerned as when they were so big the other night- I really just need prayers to be able to get through a "normal" childhood illness(colds, flu,earaches,headaches,etc...)without my whole body clamming up and stressing out!
I am not consumed with it at all the way it used to be- thank GOD!!
Right this moment, she is at her friends house that she was in school with for kindergarten and 1st grade- she changed schools and we homeschool now, so they really miss seeing each other and it's great to see them get together.
EVERY moment with her and Haley either stings or overwhelms me with JOY!
Maybe because her 3 YEARS OT is in 10 days or my hormones are raging or the fact she had swollen glands this week- I am very emotional right now about the whole thing. It seems like yesterday our world was crashing and other moments I am greatful it feels like forever ago-a lifetime ago. It WAS a whole other life- I think every so often how I wouldn't let her in Walmart with out a mask(when her counts were low) and lysoling the basket all the time. I carried a potty seat(the plastic kind) in my bag for her if she had to go in a public restroom. Now she is around other kids with colds and I have been okay about it! Going to the zoo depended on her ANC- well, going anywhere depended on her ANC! And the extra stock up on the healthiest food she would eat(not much) for those steroid weeks! I don't miss any of it. But it has put a different perspective on our lives!
She had a on a tank top that showed the scar from her port the other day at PE and 3 new friends asked her what that was from and she said, "Oh, I had cancer"-BAM!! (I just got punched in the gut)ouch! One parent came and asked me about it- like she didn't beleive her!

Other wise, we are doing wonderful- sorry for my ponderings and worry-here is my THANKFUL LIST this entry:

1. I have 2 gorgeous kids; alive, well, healthy, vibrant
2. We are making new,fun, and spiritually healthy friends!
3. My mom in law who lived with us is doing well after gall bladder surgery this past Wednesday- she's having a rotten year b/t Katrina and this
4.my hubby , who is more patient and understanding than me
5.this site, hoping it reaches out and gives others in this journey HOPE
6. Katrina did not take my life away- or my family's
7. and this should be #1- my brother and his friend of many years got MARRIED finally!!! She has a little boy whom my brother LOVES dearly and now it's all good for all of them!!!
8.The other CB kids and families i have met on this journey- I never would have met someone from Canada or Italy or Greece, for goodness sake, unless it was for this site and the families who pass our sites on to others- we give each other hope and pray for our children all the time.
9. St Jude- (see below)

PRAYER requests:
1. For the kids in the hospital this instant fighting for thier lives
2. for thier parents faith and strength to watch this happen to thier kids- for thier knowledge and diligence through the journey
3. For Gabby- my niece, to be healed and be able to pee again on her own- a St Jude ped. urologist is helping my sister out- they seem overwhelmingly HOPEFUL! We are thrilled!
4. for Ashton, of course, to remain in God's healing power, to be a beacon of hope and a testimony to His healing power, for a long beautiful life!!!
5. for friends that have lost thier children to cancer- may they gain hope for a future of happiness that awaits them - help them get through the storm looking upward. I know that seems unattainable going though it- (i cannot imagine; i thought of it and dreamed it but I pray my kids will bury me 1st)

4 YEARS HERE WE COME!!!Then 5, then 50!!!! Then 75!!!

Love and Happy Mardi Gras!!-Lori

Monday, January 30, 2006 5:44 PM CST

Hi and thanks to Rachel and others who have continually prayed and checked up on Ashton!
Rachel- thanks esp for the prayers-her appointment went GREAT!!! We hope school is going well and you continue to be a blessing to our family and esp Ashton.

We are alone!!! Our guests have finally gotten into thier FEMA trailer and have power and are doing okay for the time being. They are storing some things here since the trailer is only so big and they will some over to wash clothes. it will be nice to see them weekly. I have always gotten along with my mom in law and thankfully our relationship has been savored even living with each other for 4 months.I am sure we have both bitten our tongue on more than 1 occasion. Yes, things got sticky and it was hard adn i hope it never has to happen again for more than a week- but over all, we are coming through in one piece with little scarring if any. Others have it worse and anything not life threatening is fine with me!! well, not that the hurricane wasn't life threatening- but we escaped b/f it came so it wasn't life threatening to our family. Nor will it ever be since my hubby is an "artist" at escape plans and having everything we need in case of evacuation. he bookes the hotels and gets the non perishables, yatta, yatta..... the house is a trivial thing after cancer strikes your kid.

Bad news...
The toll is high for the hurricane itself, but what about everyone else who has passed. I personally have been to 3 funerals and an upcoming #4 on Wednesday. they are not hurricane related s. 3, THREE(!!!)of Paul's aunts have passed away since Katrina and my best friends' dad and overall WONDERFUL happy guy passed away last week.

House is getting back in order, school's back in, i am less stressed (and so is Paul)and very busy. We are heading to Chicago in April for vacation! Going to American , Shedd aquarium, Lincoln Park Zoo, Field Museum, etc... Kids are saving for American s place by manners and keeping thier rooms up-heehee!!! If anyone has suggestions about Chicago-let me know by e-mail.

Ashton is heading up on 3 years off chemo0her countdown ticker is at the top of this page-check it out!! It's not long enough!5 years here she comes!!!55 years here she comes!! 75 years, we're expecting it!!!

"With God ALL things are possible"!!

Lori

Thursday, January 5, 2006 10:07 AM CST

Hi all and Happy New Year!!!

Please remember to be thankful for the one past and be hopeful for 2006! 2005 was a rough year down here in southeast Louisiana, and things are happening S-L-O-W-L-Y and we are NOT surprised, but it is moving along. My in laws are still here(in my home, in my kids beds), have a FEMA trailer in front of thier home, but it is not hooked up yet.I has been there for 3 weeks, unlivable-what a tease!! Need more POWER! So a pole has to be put down with more electric wires to re hook up house(every fuse blown) and hook up trailer. Or something to that effect.

Pray for just a LITTLE more patience for Ashton and Haley (and my hubby and I,too)as they have graciously slept on an air mattress(in our room) since a week after we got been home(9/17/05)from our evacuation trip(or whatever you want to call it-the kids had fun). They are starting to get upset about not having thier rooms and beds yet. It's been LONGER than what we expected, but at least we have a home for family to be able to come to. A roof over our heads.
School started back yesterday and they have been anxious to start. So of course it went smoothly-oh so well. You can't put off a kid who WANTS to get back to math!!
Haley is starting to really sound out woeds well and has read a few beginner books-I am secretly CHEERING since she was not interested at all a while back!!!!!!! They are doing a unit on horses and we are looking forward to a field trip on that!!!

Prayer requests:
1. Ashton's followup is 1/13/06(Friday the 13th!!)
2. A previous teacher of Ashton's who is to(or has already) start chemo for uterine cancer-she is very young
3. Parents of cancer kids who don't physically have thier children to celebrate with this past holiday season or a new year
4. the cacner kids in the hospital this minute, fighting for thier lives and thier caregivers for strength and faith

Love, Lori and family

Monday, December 19, 2005 11:04 PM CST

Merry CHRISTMAS!!

WOW 2005 has FLOWN and been mostly good- even despite Hurricane Katrina. I know many others may not feel the same that have lost everything and the devastation is unfathomable even seeing some of it myself. But life has to go on and done in hope and faith that it WILL get better. Being in the health field, when not a teacher and mom, I certainly am seeing a LOT of the health issues that I beleive are stemming from Katrina. The stress level of people is very high. I have had many elderly displaced men and women that need many prayers-they are having to start completly over at a ripe old age-just when they were settling into thier own mortality and world of losing friends and spouses-having at least, the comfort of thier homes-that are now gone and have no hope of refurbishing. Nor do some have the heart and energy to do so.

Anyway- for us personally- it has been a blessed healthy year and we are heading into Ashton's 4th year off treament come March. March 14,2003 was her last dose of 6MP. 3 YEARS!! We greatfully welcome at least 70-80 more years with this good news. We still ask you to continue to pray for her healing to be complete. And for SO many other kids who have taken this journey once, twice and 3 times over and hopefully never again-not even a second. We have many friends leaving this area-Katrina or for a new job-and we will miss them and ask God to bless them in thier moves and lives outside of church and family. WE WILL MISS YOU!!!

On another topic-quickly- please keep my hubby in your prayers too. He has recently applied for a job that is EXACTLY what he wants to do and went to get his MBA for. He does like his job now but seemed really excited about applying for this one. Please pray for God to guide us- guide him, in this process and for His will to prevail.

THANK YOU and remember WHY we have CHRISTMAS!

Love, Lori

Monday, December 5, 2005 9:01 PM CST

hello! Well I am 8 years old now! 8,8,8!!!!!!
I had a slumber party with 3 of my good friends and my mom will post pictures soon-I promise!!!
My sister got sick and we are postponing my family party 'till Christmas and we had freeze my Barbie cake-booooo! But it is okay, she is better now.
My mom asks, "Did you know today is Walt Disney's birthday???" She says she only knows this because I was DUE on this day, but since I was upside down, the doc took me out early. December 1st. But I think she knows this since she is a Disney "freak", as my dad says.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

I wrote an e-mail to Santa (www.emailsanta.com) and he wrote me back immediately! he told me not to expect EVERYTHING I want. I do not want much, but it's all expensive mommy says. But He says Mrs. Claus likes to make all the things I want!!! Mostly I want my little cousin Gabbie to be able to pee. She had a surgery that messed up some nerves and now she has not been able to pee for 5 months! my Nana, her mom, has to put a tube in to drain her peepee every few hours-yuck! She used to have to where a catheter with the bag all the time. I just want her better. Please pray for her. The hurricane did not help at all. Gabbie was not happy and cried a lot and the medicine did not help.

well, gotta go play and mommy wants me in bed-tomorrow is her work day!!!

love, Ashton

Ashton has been OT for 2 years 7 months and 3 weeks!

Saturday, October 22, 2005 9:49 PM CDT

HIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
I have not updated in a while and here we are!!! The weather is cooler and things are semi getting back to whatever "normal" is. We opened windows today and my drive to work today was beautiful and cool. If only my minvan was a convertible!

on Haley...

Haley just turned 6 years old!!... and what else does that mean??? Ashton has been in remission for 5 years on her birthday-October 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Ashton...

We DO quietly celebrate, but the day does not go unnoticed for Ashton. We celebrated Haley's big # 6 the weekend before with a princess party-Disney, of course. You know how big of Disney fams we are. So on her actual birthday we got 2 of those tiny little cakes from Walmart for her birthday and Ashton's remission day. We make excuses to celebrate everything in our lives-heehee. I mostly cannot wait until she is 5 years off chemo, and that will be March of 2008. We are planning a celebration of this and just life in general by going back to Disney with our whole family and some friends. I'd like to just call it a reunion of all those who supported us so greatly the past 5 years. A second "wish" trip, whatever. Ashton and Haley would like to add the Disney cruise in so we aren't likely to go back until then-unless the marathon training resumes. ONE DAY AT A TIME, Lori... save, save, save.... Oh and she made a 96A on her first math test-
GO ASHTON!!!!!!

on Katrina...

wow what a mess. Paul's mom and brother are staying with us temporarily until her home is redone. So many people have family and friends staying with them -it is crowded in our town-WHEW! Very crowded. Paul's cousin and family and his aunt had 8 feet of water (lakeview) and his other cousin from Gulfport also had 8 feet of water. Needless to say-everything is gone. It looks like the Titanic pictures you see on tv, but dry now. Mold, mold, mold, it grows on the cement in big fuzzy white clusters at Paul's moms. It is black star patterns up the walls to the ceiling at his aunts. Black old ransid water came out of his moms sofa bed when they picked it up to throw it out-it looked okay on the outside. This is mild. Paul went to the bank branches in Metairie, New Orleans,Lakeview and Chalmette to empty the vaults and teller drawers of money-there were fish and a foot of mud/sludge/oil/wate on the ground and snakes, eeewwww. Thank God for Hazmat suits and gas masks. he said he almost threw up at the Lakeview branch from the gook. They had to peel the wet molded money apart with knives.
Paul's mom and I drove through Lakeview(an area wihere the levee breached) and it goes from green and broken to grey and devastated. We just cried.

Tell you more later... Love, Lori and family

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 10:36 PM CDT

Hey, enough about the previous entry-we are bracing ourselves for yet ANOTHER hurricane-a , Rita! I thought they alternated s and boys names but I am sure the last one after Katrina was Ophelia that went up the east coast-where are the BOYS!!! Are they just benign and disappear as quick as they come??? These female named hurricanes are wiping us out! I to hope it keeps going west and hit someone else, but my gosh, our city is "sick" as it is-another blow just might kill it! But NO, we will prevail. As much as the media is taking about WHY rebuild New Orleans-well, they just haven't been here on a good day. All our publicity stems around downtown Mardi Gras and drinking. YES it's a bowl, yes, it has many poor and yes, they are mostly of humans of darker skin color- NO we were not prepared for so long and we knew it-but the hurricanes came and went and the "big" one, always talked about every hurricane season since I was 3, never came-until now.

Some things we love about New Orleans(besides it's our home):
1. the once yearly fall trek to the french market and flea market to buy pumpkins for carving and a trip to "Santa's Shop" for an ornament to treasure. EVERY year of my 35 year life except 2 when we lived in Texas)
2. Cafe du Monde, hot chocolate and biegnets-yum!
3. Audubon Zoo- a place we spent every week when Ashton's counts were good during outpatient chemo. It is around the corner from the now vacant Children's Hospital. An oasis from the storm of chemo and cancer. The BEST zoo ever!
4. Children's Hospital- although rumors were abound about looters begging for at thier doors, the Children's website says that never happened. Ashton was upset when she heard this. The place that gives me tummy trouble and hope and sadness and laughter and actually some wonderful memories(and horrid) all at the same time!
5. The Aquarium of the Americas- we went thier 2-3 times a year with our zoo/aquarium membership and LOVED it. I also was a volunteer there before I got married to my hubby-I have great fondness of the aquarium! This aquarium is better than Disney's EPCOT the Living Seas-except for "Turtle Talk"!
4. Cafe Masparos- just plain the best food downtown! And GREAT prices. A true new Orleans restaraunt. Wonderful strawberry daquiris! Awesome shrimp poboys and red beans and rice!
5. Paul and I had most of our high school dances at hotels down there and we still talk about which hotels they were at. I remember for his senior prom , us s went to Riverwalk to get ourselves primped and ready!
6. Parents memories of shopping downtown-the only place at the time to go. I used to love hearing my great aunt talk about where she worked and going to Godcheauxs for clothing, etc. Paul's mom tells us these stories too.
7. MR BINGLE!!! For those who don't know him-look it up, you'll find out about this New Orleans Christmas snowman!
8. the Easter bunnies uptown at that florist-you natives know what i am talking about!
9. St Louis Cathedral. A church most wanted to get married at! Beautiful and a landmark in New Orleans.
10. Just the ambiance in the daytime. It's a HIP place to be. Yes, night is scary down there, but maybe that will be different after this. I love a summer day in the quarter, at the flea market, french market and my kids getting thier faces painted in Jackson Square!The music, the acrobats, the smell of food and boats and the Mississippi. The artists, oh, the ART is wonderful! And you can watch them paint and draw every day in the quarter.

On another note- it is GREAT to be home and we are thankful we have our beds to come home too. We have MANY friends and family without homes now and many have relocated temporarily or permanently. it is SO sad. I think I have cried every day. Our home is open to freinds and family who need a place. We are expecting some. The mold is taking over in the damp southern city and that is going to cause other problems. My mom in law had 6-8 inches and has mold growing up her walls. My brother in law and his wife had a few feet. My Aunt and cousins lived in Lakeview and they lost everything. My good high school friend lost everything in Chalmette, as did her whole family. the 2 nuc. med techs I work with both lost everything in Slidell. My friend Steph's brother and parents lost everything and have relocated.

Please pray for all these people to be strong. Pray for them to be able to handle the months ahead.
Pray for Ashton's sinus infection to GO AWAY! The antibiotice are making her sicker. I seeing her not feel well. Other friends who have gone into thier homes are having pneumonia and bronchial problems.

the 2 little boys in the picture above are living displaced for a while in a small town who is showering them with love-Thank you Winnsboro, La. for helping my family!
Love, Lori

Thursday, September 15, 2005 8:30 AM CDT

today is Sept. 15th-our "9/11".

It is 5 years to the day that we found out Ashton had leukemia. In a little less than one month she will be in remission 5 years! And 2.5 years off treatment.

As we are still in Dallas (and just found out last night we got electricity yesterday) and await going home tomorrow(YAY!!!) Ashton and Haley both have colds and this of course, makes me uncomortable at this time. I KNOW the Lord has healed. I pray He continues to allow her body healing. Why she has to have a cold NOW I find ironic:)

On the UP side-she is doing wonderfully and her least clinic visit on Monday was great. She is doing great in school (at home this year and thankful since school has been interupted due to Katrina) and is awaiting going back to gymnastics and I want to start a Scout troop with her and Haley.
I am hoping PE has started back up too!

Please continue to keep her healing in your prayers and for all the families dealing with childhood cancer. All the kids in the hospital right NOW fighting for thier very lives. All the parents who are in despair at the thought of what thier child's future holds. Pray for the doctors and nurses and play therapists. Pray mostly that they all feel the hope and healing that we have been blessed with and always look to a higher power for strength and peace and hope. Pray that we all know and remember forever the preciousness of our children and of life.

Love , Lori

Monday, September 12, 2005 10:47 PM CDT

hey! We are still here in Dallas-Arlington to be exact. Today we went to clinic at Childrens Medical Center in Dallas since New Orleans Childrens in closed temp. They do have a site in Baton Rouge they are using but I am guessing that it is for critical patients and on chemo pts. And even if we get home this week(and we had minimal property damge) she probably couldn't be seen for a while-so the wonderful people at Dallas Children's fit us in for today. AND to top things off of a great visit-wonderful counts!- the nice people with Caps for Kids-thru Children's here- gave us tickets to a Texas Rangers game and the kids were named individually and given signed Rangers caps. i will have pictures up in a few weeks, should my PC still be working correctly! We met some wonderful kids and parents today- one of whom offered us a room in thier home! So the outreach from going thru childhood cancer still branches out-there ARE some blessings. We thank them profusely for thier generosity and exchanged addresses and e-mail. We are having 14 days paid for our hotel by FEMA and Paul's work has blessed us with some money to get us through. I cannot complain though-we have been spoiled and had some fun and not been financially burdened by it at all! The kids still feel like this an unplanned vacation! We got Haley a Rangers t-shirt(feeling a little left out when Ash got the signed cap).
At least we have the peace of mind our home is in tact-unlike lots of other friends and family. When we get home we plan to take some family in-and even a friend or 2 if they are desperate enough to weather a lot of people in our home!:)
Everyone has been awesome and the help we have had has been wonderful. It will be used for fixing up our little bit of damage, helping our guests we will have, and not wiping us dry and putting us UNDER like it would have if we did not have the help. We are blessed enough to have a small vacation/Christmas/birthday account to which we used to get our newest family member about 3 days before Katrina hit-a dachsund named Hershey. We had previously canceled a trip to NW Georgia w/ family and made a family decision for a puppy! Never did we think we should have held on to it for a hurricane. Those usually only push us out for 2-3 days max, if at all! Thanks Katrina. You have not damaged our spirit due to the wonderful people helping us and SO many others! FEMA, Red Cross, and the PEOPLE of the USA! Oh and Canada-never forget Nicholas , Julianna Bananas brother
with a big heart!
Looking like home sweet home is not far off! let you know when!-Lori

Monday, September 5, 2005 9:09 AM CDT

****UPDATE**** PLEASE pray for some of our very good friends who lived in St Bernard Parish and lost EVERYTHING! Thier home was completely under water and they are bulldozing the whole parish. They have a son who is 9 or 10 and this must be so hard on him. Zachary, Melinda, Rusty- if you read this know we are all praying and helping in our own little way and somehow that you'll be a recipient of that giving and know we love you! I know there are thousands of families dealing with the same thing right now(some are here in Dallas), yet you, our friends, have always been so supportive of US. We are here for you this time. PRAY for thier families also-they all lived there and Rusty's sister recently lost a child in a horrible car accident-she esp. needs prayers. We KNOW prayers work!

thank you for all the heartfelt entries-we are okay and have been blessed profusely! We are in Dallas where Paul can work and if we are here long enough I can try to get some contract work in my field.
We were originally at my brother and sister in laws for 5 days with 18 family members. It was emotional and tiring and too many of us in 1 home. We are very gracious to Kim and Mike for putting up with us though!!
We live about 40 miles above New Orleans in St Tammany parish. Thankfully our area did not have water damage, we did have wind damage -yet our home was spared. We had 3 trees cut down 2 weeks ago that we were SURE would cut out home in half should a hurricane hit us directly. It was expensive but now, in hindsight, it was pennies to what could have been. We have many friends and family that have no home at all to go to and many are relocating temp. or perm. in other states. We have no electricity and no water or sewage(we have septic and well in our backyard that uses electricity). It's looks like a war zone-quiet, vacant, wires down everywhere and I can honestly say that every other tree is uprooted or snapped in half. The damage to our property is minimal-the 2 remaining pine trees in our back yard are snapped in half( the same kind we got cut down) and our neighbors beautiful oak tree that also gave us many happy times(shades our yard too-we picnicked under it and watched cocoons turn into butterflies) is uprooted and laying on our swingset.The garden is still around it! Amazingly the beanbag on our roof that the kids threw up there is STILL there-unmoved!

Roger and Linda-we were in Plano yesterday and tried calling but it rang and rang-if you have a cell phone and you have my # text message me. Text is all that works right now, even here. We are starting to get some cell service-but very limited. We plan on trying you again! Want to see you while we are here.

We also were just reminded(time has gotten away from us) that Ashron is due for her appointment this week(thanks Steph!) so i guess we'll have to find someone here!

Ashton and Haley think it's vacation snd our hotel room looks out to 6 flags in Arlington-they are wanting to go! We feel partially guilty for even BEING in a hotel room enjoying some comforts. JP Morgan Chase(Paul's work) has been awesome and we are soooooo thankful.

We did get to go see where Ashton was born yesterday(we used to live in Plano) and the spots she cried at and the ones she loved(Boston Market she loved and let us eat as an infant and Houstons was out of the question-she screamed!- although when getting ALL she craved Houston's spinach dip!)
This is the hotel PC and there is only 1 so i gotta go!

Hoping to be home in the next week or 2,-Love and thanks for the prayers-people ahve been so generous(as we have experienced b/f)

Love, Lori, Paul ,Ashton and Haley

Sunday, August 7, 2005 7:50 PM CDT

well- Ashton is doing supergreat and we feel so blessed. Paul and I were talking about how things are feeling more "normal". It's been 2 years and 4 months since she ended treatment and although we feel we may never be worry free abour this whole leukemia thing-we are feeling more oxygen enter our lungs. Even that can be a bit scary to think about-heehee!
Paul and I are doing the Disney marathons-I will be doing the half and Paul is doing the whole crazy 26.2 miles of it! Thankfully they are on 2 different days next year so the kids will be able to go and run in the last 1/2 mile or so. Last time I did not have them with me-I was by my lonesome(though it was fun!) and the only time that bothered me was when I ran in without my survivor and her sister. I cried when I was done. She was the reason I did it and am doing it again-and she was not there. This time, God willing, we will raise this money so this CAN happen for her dady and I!
Should you donate in honor of her, or your own child-please make sure you let me know the name so we can put thier name somewhere on our shirts-we would be honored to walk/run in honor of your child, too!!!

PLEASE DONATE-our goal is high, but we know it can happen if you help and pass it on!
Lori

Monday, July 11, 2005 10:41 AM CDT

hi all we are at the library updating since my PC is not working correctly at all!!! We thought it was the modem , but it was not....
Ashton ihad her 2 year and 4 month checkup last friday and is doing wonderful! We are sorry to all whose sites we regularly visit and have not. Hopefully we'll be joining the cyber world again soon!-Lori

Thursday, June 30, 2005 8:09 PM CDT

Hello ladies and gentlemen, boys and s who read my website! it's me Ashton updating this time....

I am about to take a bath tonight and my mommy is driving me crazy to get this done quickly!
I have had a really, really, really, reallly, really, great summer. We have been babysitting my cousins, her mom wathes me and Haley when mom works, and we went to the library this morning and listened to stories and did crafts. I read 10 books and I got a bag as a prize. Haley got one too for my mom and dad and me reading 21 books to her. When we got home we cleaned up my playroom and then did "homework sheets" then played a bit then ate dinner-now i am dictating this to mommy!

My family joined the pool today so we can go swimming this weekend. I am looking forward to July 4th. Dad says we are doing fireworks.
My sister has been a lovely problem this summer-she needs help! We really need help with her. She's a chickenbutt! She has been mean to me this summer(note from mommy-this has gone both ways, and really they have been exceptionally good this summer together-Ashton is expressing some need for SPACE!) We have gotten along a teeny tiny bit though!

I love my haircut and we have mailed it to Locks of Love. Those of you in the hospital-I am saving money to help you, and praying for you to have a good life and never have no worries-I hope ya'll get better. I have had popsicle stand sales to get money for you.(MOM is so PROUD!)

goota' go!-Love Ashton

Monday, June 20, 2005 11:56 PM CDT

well we've had a crazy week...

Slowpowk died of an upper respiratory infection-Ashton is devastated:^(... we did EVERYTHING to keep the tortoise alive...

She did give her hair to Locks of Love today and I am proud of her... and she asked me to do it with her! Pictures should be up!

My cousin's baby shower was Saturday and that was fun! She is having a little boy!

We had VBS this week and that was a blast! Friday was water day that they always enjoy!

We have about 40 fish(hence the fishy theme) in our 10 gallon tank since one of our mollies gave birth to about 30 babies! I have changed the water multiple times and it is STILL gross-I can't wait to adopt them out! Ashton may have a hard time with this as she loves ALL her animals so much and after losing "Powky"...

Is any week not crazy-well at least it was cancer free crazy-the best crazy there is.

If you are interested in a good CD with Disney classics and just beautiful songs, go buy the "Make a Wish" Disney CD. $5 of the proceeds go to MAW and it is a GREAT CD! I have decided to do a project of putting all Ashton's MAW photos on a DVD to the music from this CD. It will be "fun" since I will have to scan all the pictures since that was before we had a digital camera. "You'll Be In my Heart" is especially special to us since Ashton LOVED the movie "Tarzan" when she was first diagnosed.

Love to all-Lori

Monday, June 13, 2005 4:21 PM CDT

hey- Ashton is having a great summer so far-she is being laaaaazzzzzzyyyyyyy today so MOMMY will post this update:

She has had FUN in softball this season-her 1st! She was asked to be on the All Star team, and we will decide that after we get more info-(heard it's a BIG commitment!) She has been playing sooooo much better now she knows more of the rules and has had more practice-hits the ball almost every time at bat now!

This past weekend was Ashton and Haley's dance recital for Faith Dance Academy-Ashton's 3rd and Haley's 2nd!
It was beautiful... and most awesomely we go to the same danceschool as precious little Amelia Bennett(www.caringbridge.org/la/marshall_n_amelia) and she got a wonderful deserving award for Most Courageous Dancer! go see her site! It's kinda' cool to meet another caringbridge family in the area. She never stopped smiling on stage and knew her dances perfectly. You could tell she was enjoying every moment! these kids take nothing for granted-or at least the moms don't!
Ashton had 1 number in both recitals and that was tiring! But she was all smiles as well as Haley- Haley danced to 2 dances in 1 recital.Mom will have pictures up soon!

This week is VBS at St. Timothy and we are on a Serengeti Trek-the church is full of safari type decorations and props-to the tee! Haley is excited to be reunited with her best bud Madeline from school and church. Mommy is the guide for Haley's class and Ashton is happy to have one of her same teachers from last year(I was one last year for her)as well as her Sunday school teacher from all during the year!

Ashton and Haley joined the library reading program and Ashton has already finished her intitial goal, but mom's making her do more!(she finished rather quickly,hmmmmmm.....)
Haley is busy learning her letters and the sounds for Hooked on Phonics(she wants to read like her big sis')
We have been going to the library once a week and will continue-by the way for those ASES kids out there reading, Johnette Downing will be at the Covington Branch on July 11th.

We have plans for the nature trails at Fountainbleau and the water spouts in Mandeville(already been once!) and maybe a weekend trip to Pensacola to see some cousins.

MOM is LOVIN' all the FREE summer activities!

Love, Ashton's mom!

P.S. Mrs Noveh, if you read this, know you are getting LOTS of prayers of thanks from one little here! She loves you and is happy her report card earned her a Russian Tortoise named "SlowPowk"(how she spelled it!)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005 7:14 PM CDT

Dear everbody that reads my website,

thank you for all the notes that you gave us over the years in the guestbook. I did not like cancer.

Today i went to the doctor because my mom was kind of freaking out because she thought i was allergic to stuff and they did a test on my arm for i don't know why. They dipped a needle in some stuff that said "dog", just in case i was allergic to dogs and they stuck it in and I had to stay in the room for 10 minutes with my sister and mom and they came back and the little bump was on my arm. I don't know what it meant, but we found out that i was not allergic to anything and then I said ,"Now I could drink as much milk as I want since I 'm not allergic to it!" hahahahaHA! And my mom said no, you can't drink lots of milk because my skin gets itchy.

At school today I got an AR(accelerated reader) book and it's called "Big Max" and I have 3 more books to read this week to earn a red bead.

I like ya'll so very much. Have you ever seen a big alligator?? Or a little alligator? I wanted to ask you this because I was studying about crocodiles and alligators. Did you know crocodiles are related to dragons? Some people call crocs dragons. Did you know that an alligator snout is rounder than a crocodile snout?? A crocodile snout is pointier. this is what i have been learning in school.

Love , Ashton

Friday, May 6, 2005 8:40 PM CDT

Oh my gosh! i just try to live every day to the fullest and try to spend every moment with Ashton and Haley -without hindering them from life(haha!)- and after reading the above I just want to go get her from her friends house and hold her! This is her 3rd time spending the night out anywhere without me! I thought it was more times than that-but she informed me it was her second time at her friends and once at her Nana's.

I have to add that I LOVE watching her team play ball-yeah again! She hit the ball the other day and ran like heck to 1st base and the other team overthrew the ball and her coach told her to run... so she RAN, got tagged at 2nd(got out) and kept running, and running till she got to homeplate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She ran in and thought she got a home run(like the who batted in front of her-1 of 2 or 3 really naturally good players on our team) and I was NOT bursting her bubble! If she didn't know, i wasn't telling her she got out! Everyone was laughing and then it hit me that people were laughing at my baby, when another mom told me that they were not laughing at her, that they were laughing with her and that this is the reason they love coming to the games so much! She'll read this one day and be embarrassed, I'm sure!

It has been absolutely BEAUTIFUL lately. Cool breeze coming through DAILY-not at all the normal heat we are so used to. Makes me want to chill out on a hammock in my backyard!

I think I may change this format a bit-since she is reading and writing books and stuff lately-i think i'll give her this site next go 'round! let's see how she does.

No other appointments until JULY! I used to be scared last few years when things were going well-scared that ole' carpet would be pulled out again. (still have that feeling when she is sick or complaining of something crazy)all I can do id give THANKs to GOD who has and IS getting us through this journey.

Please pray for a from our church, Courtney, who is 18 and has AML and is going for a Bone marrow transplant from cord next week. PRAY she beats her cancer and all this goes as smoothly as it can for her and her family.
There was an article in the paper about her yesterday. she was prom queen from afar!-her high school has been unbelievably supportive!

Pray for our kids to be COMPLTELY healed!-Lori

Friday, April 29, 2005 5:41 PM CDT

Hi! Ashton is on her way to softball practice.
It has been a fun day! And the weather is beautiful-87 degr. and sunny! Birds chirping, Haley playing outside on swings! Ashton had field day at school and is sweaty and smells like a boy(sorry little guys out there!), her princess shirt is brown from rubbing her gross hands on it all day! She met and pet an alligator too! One of the perks of living down here in the south,baby-haha! I am amazed at how lax we've gotten since our cancer journey with her.
I am amazed how RELIEVED I am that here we are, over 2 years since her last chemo shot and pill-here, letting her get DIRTY!
I have sworn in the past not to let my kids take more than one activity at a time-and here we are juggling softball 3 times a week and dancing (once a week per kid). But I LOVE to see her try new things. I LOVE seeing her out on the field singing and paying little attention to the actual game(although the song WAS about the batter missing the ball and getting out). I LOVE seeing her up at bat, underconfident, but trying none the less, swinging at every pitch-missing most, not all-and marching back to the dugout still happy. I loved seeing her hit the ball and just stand at home plate like time was of no essence to go to first base AND I LOVE seeing her be a catcher and feeling NO rush to get the ball(that she lets pass her by) and throw back to the pitcher-and of course in coach pitched softball, there are lots of missed pitches! Ashton has her own speed. She is not slow mentally-very smart cookie if you ask this biased, but honest mom-she truly sees the world differently. Her teachers have told me BOTH in kindergarten and 1st grade that Ashton has a bit of wisdom other kids don't have-one told me she has an "old soul". I am PROUD of this. But I do that she had cancer to have this wisdom-but thankful she had it to have this gift. I NEVER thought I'd feel thanks AT ALL. It HAS taught us all a lot-unwillingly-yet i am very thankful for the people we have met and known, and the peace I FINALLY am actually feeling that i never thought i'd feel ever again. Everyone has thier moments, yet I feel more peace now than i have in almost 5 years. I have been waiting for it. I am not totally at peace, but it does come slowly and I know it's from God alone. I always felt His peace in moments, now I am having peace with fewer worried moments. (And just b/c I am writing this, I will probably have a worried moment tonight!!!)

Oh, and back to softball for a moment... Paul and I are learning to keep our mouths shut and let her have fun. We are also trying to actually teach her the game she knows very little about(like RUN if you hit the ball!) We ARE guilty of trying to teach her from the stands-embarrasing and not at all how I want to be-but HARD not too!! I am not doing this for perfection, just to do the thing she is supposed to do next! Heehee!)

Happy May(end of school YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!)
Lori

Thursday, April 14, 2005 12:28 AM CDT

had to get rid of that want to forget about it as quickly as possible!
But I have a wonderful update to tell you-I saw a piece of paper on the lawn of the home the police pulled me over at on the way to bring Ashton to school this morning and went back after dropping her off to see if it was my registration that i had gone to look for after the incident (2x). IT WAS!!!! I brought the wet registration directly to the chief of police(who wound up not being there). Someone who works in her office took it and copied it. I was thrilled and went to church to look for my dad(he was meeting me for breakfast) so i sat down and said a prayer of thanks!YAY!!!!!

Anyhow, Ashton is continuing to thrive off chemo-over 2 years now! She started coach pitched softball last week and LOVES it!

I am a very blessed mom!
Lori

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 10:28 PM CDT

hey guys I HAVE to rell you about my horrible day-but then again I have had much worse, I guess it's all in your perspective on life-but in a non chemo, non cancer world it pretty much s--cked!...

8:00am CST-got into car to bring Ashton to school-car would not start(thanks to very good friends, Ashton got to school only 15 min. late)

9:30am-Another good friend picks Haley and I to go to dancing, then lunch at McD's, then home to jumpstart my van-well I forgot to lock my house door , had to turn off ingnition-when I went back it wouldn't start again that quickly

1:15pm-re-jumped it(good friend again to the rescue) went straight to mechanic(all my dials were going bonkers-really creepy!)
2:15pm-new battery, not the alternator-thank God,went to donate for a drive Ashton's school was having

THIS IS THE GOOD PART...(kind of long)
2:30ish pm-Abita Springs-saw cop in rearview with lights on-I guessed for me-but did not know why. Pulled over, Cop asked for the usual. was little confused and getting upset after my semi crazy day so far. Asked cop b/f i gave him info the reason for my stop. Told me i was going 37 in a 25(the sharp turn i was heading into goes from a road that is 40 mph to 25mph about 2 blocks b/f turn and I saw him there right at the sign where it tells you to slow-so I was in the middle of slowing down) but stopped me 1/2-3/4 miles after the turn. I told him i was in the middle of slowing right as I always do every day when I see the 25mph sign-I'll admit I was going 45 in a 40, and usually go25-30max in the 25 zone, but okay here you go(gave him license and frantically looking for insurance in my slot in my door(in an envelope w/ LOTS of other receipts for van). he stood there 30 seconds or so and told me he'd be right back. Found insurance card-got out and brought it to him. I was so upset I did not even think of my registration-dumb of me I guess. he yelled at me to get back in van. Got back in van and waited another 30 sec to 1min. when he came back with a ticket for speeding(okay), no insurance(NOT) and no registration(NOT!) He told me what he was citing me for and to sign it. I asked him(frantically) to give me a minute to pull out my registration-then he told me I could work that out in court and to sign the ticket or he would send me to jail-right now(WHAT!!!!) I guess I did not get it fast enough for him-1 min. is too long:) I told him I needed to call my brother(a cop) to ask him if that was okay to do(I did not want to sign that the citings were true since he gave me like 1-2 minutes to get it all together-yes my fault, it all used to be in 1 envelope-yet i KNOW I had it)while I was frantically and unsuccessfully(cause I was shaking so bad after the jail thing) finding my registration-I had seen it while getting my insurance. he tells me he does not want to speak to my brother. I told him I was calling him for ME to talk to him-I was getting more scared. he told me again if I did not sign the ticket NOW he was bringing me to JAIL and promptly OPENED my door and started to grab me to take me out!!!! Then he pulled back and I shut my door. NOW I was P-ssed and Haley started yelling and screaming not to take me to jail-then my head came off and I showed him my registration(THANK GOD-and this was all in like 10 minutes) and told him how I thought Abita had nice people there and i was wrong-all I want is like a minute to get myself(stuff) together. He did not give it too me and I was BLOWING UP! I had Haley screaming, I had to go get Ashton, Paul is OOT, I was getting pulled out of my car to go to jail-yeah right!!!!
So by then i was screaming I think-and I asked him to scratch out the wrong citations(or rewrite the ticket) and I would GLADLY sign it as to NOT go to jail. By then he had called BACKUP-3 other police cars showed up(!!!) to get me out of the car to go to jail- I was scared, mad, disappointed in the fact that I was and being treated like a child molester or a thief. I closed my door and locked it, -my window was down and I told him that he had NO right to open my door and touch me anywhere- I was completely SHAKING everywhere! He did not even EVER talk to me nicely or tell me that the ticket was not admission of guilt(as I found out later from the police cheif when I filed a complaint)
He asked me again to sign it NOW or I would go to jail. I asked him if I could try my brother(since I did not get through the first time-I desperately needed advice from someone who knew the other side since I was getting NOTHING out of this cop) He DID NOT even WANT to see the registration when I was giving it to him! NOT even interested. He earlier had said he would come back to the van(since he SAID he'd be right back) so I figured he was running my tags and he'd be back in a minute for the reg. and ins..But instead, the ticket I did not deserve(2 out of 3 anyway, even though i will fight this one, since I was in the MIDDLE of slowing down-speed trap)
anyhow...
2:45-he opened my door the third time and told me to "get OUT of the car, ma'am, NOW"-Haley was screaming, I said fine I'd sign it after I scratched out the false citation(I was past rationalization obviously) so I scratched them out and while I signed ,my registration was in my hand holding the clipboard(i am a lefty!) and either dropped it or he took it-I cannot find what was in my hands while I signed the now corrected ticket. he sarcastically told me to "have a nice day" and I, who has not used that dirty of language in like 8 years, told him some choice things.

NONE of this would have happened if he'd have been a more patient(any patience would have done) honorable policeman- or even just a partially honorable man, or 1/4 nice.... And let me have a few moments to get my stuff and call my brother to ask a quick easily answered question. THAT cop could have let me know that it was not admittance of guilt and it was just paperwork and it would be easily dealt with and that it was rare to void a ticket. he could have easily said yes, I can give you a minute if you need to call someone, but it needs to be quick. THIS man gave me NO time. All this happened in 10 minutes so how could he had given me time.

2:46-peeled off, slowed down, nerves shot, Haley bawling and scared, stopped and parked on side of a street to calm down. I just wailed. I have never been so offended in my life. 2 Very nice women heard me and came out to ask what happened. Told them, one worked for the town and went to talk to police who then told her that I was non compliant from the monent he got to my window. NOT true. I got "non compliant" when he told me I was going to jail if i did not sign it NOW-like a kindergartner. Who wouldn't.
I am horrified, i feel trapped, i am mad and upset, I feel like he was invading my territory when not prompted or invited. he scared the you know what out of my 5 year old -i am SURE she will never forget this-which I guess can be a good thing) He did not give me the time of day. the 2 women said it was nothing new and that Abita was full of those types of cops-sad. Such a good little family town.

2:55-went to police station and wrote the whole fresh incident down. the police who gave me the ticket had already called the chief about me-so he KNEW i'd complain!

Sorry for venting- and as this is not 1/8 of the way i felt when Ashton got sick with leukemia, I guess I should feel blessed, yet I am worn out!

I am THANKFUL to my friends today!
Thank you God for my wonderful friends and thank you ore than ever for keeping my children healthy. Bless Ashton with continued healing!

Lori

Friday, April 1, 2005 11:06 PM CST

Ashton had her 2 years OT appointment
today and it went GREAT!
I cannot ask for any more than God allowing
my children health!
Her counts were:
WBC=8.7(sinus infection)
hemoglobin=13.7(higher than ever!)
Platelets=275,000
ANC=4000

We celebrated by going downtown and getting
the kids faces painted, buying silver rings
at the flea market, and eating at Cafe Masparo's
YUM! Ashton's best friend Alexis and her
mom were with us to enjoy!

We had a blast, the kids were wound up,
and we headed home to the northshore!

Clinic is getting less anxious for me,
but the anxiety starts just the day before now.
It's been 2 years off chemo! i don't
worry hardly at all on a day to day
or week to week basis anymore-just aroung clinic.
Which thankfully is spreading out to every 3 months!

And my heart goes pouring out to newer kids
just starting out. I could cry all day about it
but Ashton gives me and thier families
some HOPE. I look at her LIFE and feel so happy!
I look at Haley's life and feel content!

Thanks for reading-please sign in!

Love, Lori

Friday, February 25, 2005 10:53 PM CST

Hi ! We are all settling in 2 weeks after returning from neverland-Disney World! A place to forget most of our issues at home-like laundry(until you get home!) and bills(until you get home and realize you have little money left to pay them-HAHA!) and our nutty beagle, Snoopy, who i really missed this trip but after hearing the havoc he caused at the boarding place(he is now banned from boarding there ever again-not kidding) reality has hit quickly-but he was so happy to see me when I went to get him-the boarders were suprised he did not snap at me and that he was a 'normal" ole' friendly dog to his mommy. He has gone there 4 times and they never had a problem with him-well he was not happy to not go with us to see Mickey Mouse this time. he bit someone trying to feed him(stupid dog!) and therefore was left in the kennel(heated and a/c, in and outside kennel-but small) with no walks that i was paying extra for. Then they would not honor travelers cheques.aaahhhhhhhhaaaahhhahhaahahahahahaaah!

We are already saving again to go back. Ashton and Haley now want to go on the cruise thanks to the lovely channel on our on-site hotel TV simply called "Your Next Vacation"-all Disney related!!! Now I am a huge Disney fan and am very willing to try anything they offer within my budget-but a cruise will not happen anytime soon. They saw that they can get away from Paul and I for a few hours and have Pluto or Goofy tuck them in to bed. Thier motivation is to get away from us!!! WOW! Probably good, huh???!!!

OFF CHEMO 2 YEARS!!!!!

ASHTON is still kicking butt and has another appointment sometime in the next few weeks-I don't even know! ha! But on MARCH 7, she will have taken her last chemo pill 2 years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am pumped and excited, yet that 5 year mmark just sticks in my head as the day I can take the hugest breath if relief and sleep so soundly. I don't think Paul or I have been great sleepers since this all started 4.5 years ago.

She is getting so big and she and Haley are the biggest miracles to me-esp. Ashton- I got her 2x. God has blessed us profusely and I am thankful beyond words.

beleive it or not i am thinking of homeschooling my kiddos. They have MANY groups her that meet weekly and I know lots of homeschoolers to get together with. I have been having this on my heart and mind a long time now and may try it now while they are still young. So if i mess things up, they'll still be salvageable-haha! I have been fighting it b/c I think of all the TIME I will have(come fall when Haley is in full time) to do things around my home that have been neglected for so long. I think "normalcy" but wonder if that is going to be my normal. I don't even know what that means anymore-thankfully that is one thing that leukemia took from me that I don't feel is important-knowing or fighting for everyones "idea" of normal. I just DO know that the pace of our lives during treatment MADE us slow down and enjoy each other and the nature aroung us, and now i miss that desperately. Not many find that who have not gone through a traumatic event. You can look back in the archived journal entries and may note that i have sworn not to let this happen, but it just has-life is pulling me by a noose and I need it to slow down and enjoy the stuff right here, to really see it through the eyes of my children. I homeschooled Ashton for pre K b/c i did not want to be in the hospital more often than we had too-yes I am germophobic-and we did so many fun activities-educational,and fun, and it bonded us in an awesome way. i also watch her at school(i live at the schools when i am not working) and I do see so many pluses, but I also see minuses-behavior-wise. She is a great student and has gotten prizes for being of "good character" all 3 semesters so far and I am sure she'll get it again, she has also gottne "most improved student" for 2 semesters!- i am proud of her. But it is something deeper that is pulling me in this direction. It's not necessarily lack of God in the oublic school system. And I really don't enjoy listening to "higher than mighty" homeschoolers who live off their land or want to-so NOT me! I don't beleive that homeschooled kids are not socialized-that's a load of BS-there are too many ways to avoid that-not an excuse. I will add God, like we already do, to our days. I am nor will i be ever against going back to traditional school, though as grades get higher, the less i want to do the public school down here in "looziana"-the second to last on bad school systems- and we live in the second to highest of the best school districts in the state-but how much does that give us!!! HEEEHEEEE! NO we have a GREAT school. I LOVE ASES very much and most, if not all of our moms and teachers and our principal are living a Christian based life. I always happily say that ASES is the most Christian public school I have heard of in our area. I hope that if the decision to homeschool does happen that they will work with me on the extracurriculars-violin, etc!

I am listening God, but wow, am i scared. you have blessed us profusely and I ask for that to continue!Thank you!

Lori

Tuesday, February 15, 2005 9:16 PM CST

we had so so so so much fun in Dsiney!
I will update later more details but if you're going check out Mousesavers.com and Disneyforless.com-cool interactive pages, crafts countdown calendars, tips, etc.

Ashton has had no more headaches at all since before the trip! they both were put on Zithromax for sinus infections b/f the trip, so they got well pretyy quickly. Not me though, I have been feeling run down since mid week(mid-trip) and have had a sore throat. I even called the doc from Animal Kingdom for advice and to see if he'd give me a script for something but found it's illegal for docs to presribe across state lines. I was NOT going to a redi-med clinic. Paul had a refill on Augmentin so i used that. I know it ain't right-but it kept me from missing my trip for HOURS at a clinic in Disney, and it WORKED! I still feel a bit rundown, so maybe I had a bacterial infection on top of something viral-who knows-it was only my throat bothering me enough to seek help. i got ripped by some moms today about that. It's ashame, i work in a hospital, know my doctor well enough that at home he prescribes me meds by just listening to me over the phone, my daughter has had MANY unknown infections with fever during her chemo treatments, and I get ripped by people for not going to the doc in case i have misdiagnosed myself. I have not diagnosed myself and if the antibiotics worked then it WAS bacterial back there in my throat. I am not saying I know what i had, or that it was not "right" of me to ask my doc for meds, but the fact that we have been through SO much with infections, I feel I can get through a week on vacation with a little boost of something. I had NO idea that YOUR doc could not prescribe something for you when he knows your history when you are out of town-not right! Maybe being a parent of a child that previously had cancer has led me to be able to have my way a bit when it comes to doctors and now i am used to it and our pediatrician knows by the look on my face when i walk into the door if labs will be done. I don't even have to ask-she's sees the worried look in my eyes and her nurse just does it- without official permission- b/c she KNOWS us well. And I love and appreciate her for knowing me so well and swinging with it-even if she thinks i am neurotic! she does not always give antibiotics nor do i want her too. Ashton has had enough of that in her lifetime-bactrim for 3 years and multiple other IV amd OTC antibiotics!
aaahhhhaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!-Lori

Thursday, January 27, 2005 10:46 PM CST

Hi!
Well, Ashton wound up having a CT scan that was "perfectly normal"(yAY!) and just a fasting sugar test that was also normal. Her headaches seem to be not as often as they were over the weekend. Breathing easier.
BUT Haley is now showing signs of not feeling well and just looking down her throat w/out a light or anything shows some big tonsils back there, so we will see if any other symptoms(besides her little cough) happen b/f I bring her in to the ped. We are going to Disney World in 9 days(8.5 actually!) and I want them well for that trip! I think they are looking more forward to this one than the last. Ashton was SO excited about her MAW Disney GKTW trip back in 2002 and her enthusiasm is close, yet Haley's is tremendous! I guess she was so little for Ashtons wish trip that it was hard for her to "get it" until we got there-she was 2 and 1/2. Now she's 5 and her and Ashton are letting everyone know how many days before we leave(we have a chain link coutdown calendar). And since we got such a great rate on our hotel(ON the grounds-$55 a night!) we are staying longer than originally planned. She was not going to miss school, but now she will miss 2 days since they have Mon-Wed off for Mardi Gras(Tues,2/8/05- early this year) she will miss Thurs. and Fri.
They missed a full week when we went in Oct. 2003, but we were only there 4 days-obviously we LOVE Disney! We probably won't be going back until her 5 years off treatment-I want to make that a mac-daddy big trip! That will be in 2008 and I cannot wait! I have the whole family saving up. I gave them all envelopes about a year ago to put aside a bit every paycheck(even a dollar!) for 3-4 years so it won't be so hard financially to go.

Love and thanks for the continued prayers!
Lori

Saturday, January 22, 2005 11:29 AM CST

Hi y'all!
Well, we had clinic yesterday and all went well. Her labs were great, so I'll give that first:
WBC=8.7
Platelets=256,000
Hemoglobin=13.7
ANC=5120!

About her headaches:

Her onc says to track them so we have some concrete stuff to refer to if we have to send her to a neurologist. She was not able to check for fluid behind hAshton's eyes due to her(Ash) not being able to focus like the doc wanted to be ABLE to see anything-this upset me since I would like to know this info. Her doc says the nature of her headaches do not sound like they would be anything like the "l" word in her CNS. Those would be harder to get rid of and get worse over time. They are more persisitant than once a week. She says it's more of a pressure and that it woould cause vomiting that would ease it.
Ashton's are fleeting, go away on thier own in anywhere from 15-45 minutes. I don't give tylenol so we can see what they do. I have noticed though that the 2 out of the last 3 headaches have lasted longer-they took about 30-45 minutes to go away-all the others were gone w/in 15 minutes. She says it hurts right above her eyes and above her nose-like a sinus headache. So hopefully, since she has a hx of sinus issues, that this is it. I also noticed in a Natural Healing book I have that hypoglycemia may be something to look into. She has many of the symptoms of that so I will look more into that.

Thank you for your prayers and continue to pray for her forever healing-NO MORE HEADACHES-please God, no more headaches!

Disney World in 14 more days!

Love, Lori

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 11:05 PM CST

Hi to all and Happy 2005!
We are going to Disney World(for 2nd time since "wish trip") in 24 days!!!

Please keep some prayers tucked away for Ashton as she has been having sporadic and fleeting headaches lately and some tummy pain. Of course this does not make us happy and we think it's just viral, but all in all, it's nerve-wracking.
We went to the pediatrician yesterday after she threw up in the am from a dinner that did not agree with her from the night before and I noticed some little red dots under her eyes that concerned me. The ped and I think it's from dry heaving from that morning-i know GROSS!! But anyway her counts were great and as follows:
WBC=10.2
platelets=267,000
hemoglobin=12.3
and her new office's machine does not differentiate the cells individually, but she had 4% mix of atypical lymphocytes(normal) and eosinophils, etc. I have to beleive her ANC was high due to her WBC and segs/bands. her ped says it look viral and i tend to agree. we have been through enough viruses that scare the begeebees out of us than I care to tell. She felt no spleen or liver, so i feel good about that.

I am calling her oncologist tomorrow(the first time ever for concerns-aaahhhh!) just to let her know whats happening. The headaches have been 3 in the past 3-4 weeks and only last like 15 minutes or so(w/out tylenol or anything) and tummy pain is pretty regular the past 2-3 weeks but she says its "just a little" and the only time it got bad was when she got sick. Paul thinks the headaches are from low sugar due to her not eating well at school and giving her snacks away to other kids who have none-sweet- and they seem to happen right after school when we pick her up. then after eating they seem to disappear-good call daddy-o! but 1 time it went away with niothing eaten-who knows!! i may have to start packing her lunches again. I have been letting her eat at school so her taste "palate" would GROW since she is SO picky-thanks to those years of steroids!

Romans 12: 12..."Let your hope keep you joyful ,be patient in your troubles, and pray at ALL times"

Thanks for your prayers-Love, the Webre's

Sunday, December 26, 2004 10:15 PM CST

Merry CHRISTmas!

WE had a great day! Can you believe it ACTUALLY SNOWED down here in the New Orleans area ON Christmas!!!!!
Our first and probably only. I am still in disbelief that we had a "white Christmas"! and literally had a snow/ice fight,(since it was not all PURE snow)but it was SNOW to us southerners! It was a BLAST! It snowed a little while at home in Covington(where Paul tried to catch some snowflakes on his tongue and taught the s this too), then it slacked so we made the trek across the longest bridge in the world-the Causeway Bridge -that links us to most of our family. It's 24 miles long and it's not usually a LONG ride, but on Christmas it was, due to SNOW!!! I video-ed some of the drive when the snow was thickest at about mile 12-16 and traffic was almost stopped. I think everyone might have liked to get out and enjoy it rather than being in their cars! When we got to my brother-in-laws, it slacked but they had gotten more snow than us and they are further south! The snow/ice covered rooves of all the homes and was sticking to the grass a bit. On our side of the lake(lake Pontchartrain)-the north side-the build up was only in the crevaces of rooves. After eating and opening some gifts, we looked outside and it was snowing even harder so we hurried and got on coats/gloves/hats and went out to have a snowball fight-we had to scrape it off the top of cars since it was dirty in the grass(but we still used it!)

Ashton and Haley had thier first snow!

They were so excited that gifts played second fiddle to the weather. But they did manage to be spoiled rotten and Santa helped out with those Disney tickets! We are going for Mardi Gras in February! It is early this year-2/8/05.
Our family played along and gave them some gifts for the trip(we needed more after the 2002 "wish-trip"!-ha!) that will come in really handy-a Princess pen on a string for autographs, overnight pack for car goodies, Disney Dollars for souvenirs, and Santa brought a Lego Disney Castle to set the mood! They also got some outfits, bows for ballet and to go with an outfit or 2, birthstone bracelets, cheetah print PJ's and matching robes, lots of other cool stuff! Spoiled! and worth it!

As for Paul and I-he gave me some much NEEDED gifts-a GC for a massage at Earthsavers, some Baileys Irish Cream liquor(which I never want to spend the money on-heehee)YUM!, and the new Duran Duran CD, b/c they were my first loves-heehee! No, He was my first real love!

Any way -we started our morning FIRST with singing "Happy Birthday to Jesus"! And ended it with our usual night time prayers.

Ashton said that besides Jesus, the snow was our Christmas gift from God. Definitely!
I will post pictures soon of our own little white Christmas!

Happy and Healthy 2005!

Lori

Thursday, December 2, 2004 1:28 PM CST

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEW PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!

hI all-okay this is the 3rd go with this journal entry. the phona, Haley,the phone...etcetc...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHTON!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHTON!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY #1
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! AND MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MORE! like 80 more years!

Her birthday was yesterday and her party is Sunday!
I'll let you know how it goes.

Please continue to pray for her she has been upset lately abou things-violin, school, a timer the teacher has them onfor worksheets(and she is on the slower side, not
s-l-o-w like Patrick the Starfish, but just not FAST!

Please pray for healing in all these kids that are battling or have battled cancer, that they stay in remission forever-CURED, HEALED! Remember they are not far away-a hospital in your area has these children battling for their lives as we sit here reading our computer, enjoying some peace. yes you may get upset and cry(like I do STILL) but we are here, we are real, and we are NOT happy about the battles our children have faced or are facing. So DON'T turn your head-but feel BLESSED if you are NOT a parent of a cancer kid. Go home and HUG them and LOVE them and FEEL BLESSED in your bones and in your heart! I wish EVERY day I could have peace of mind like a parent whose child has not battled cancer.
BUT I too feel doubly blessed-I got my children and I got one back-whose future was very foggy to me some years back. It can still seem hazy to me, but MOSTLY it's CLEAR,and BEAUTIFUL and LONG and AWESOME and GOD did this for ME. I FEEL blessed more than anything.

have a blessed Christmas season and take time with your kids, enjoy them!-Love, Lori

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 11:47 PM CST

HAPPY TURKEY DAY AND GETTING READY FOR SANTA!!!

I had to add that we are going to the Spongebob movie upon Julianna Banana and her brother Nicholas Pickleus(sp?)worthy movie review!!! Check it out at her site: www.caringbridge.org/cananda/julianna

TRUST ME this is a WORTHY site to look at!

And to Machelle-Elizabeth's mom, I cannot get onto her page!!! It was so frustrating when you posted that it was updated and I could not look! And congrats on 6 months OT!!!
We have bummed today and are about to head out to see Spongebob on the big screen and Harry Potter is out on DVD tomorrow! I personally love the books and have the first 2 movies and will be getting this one at some point too!

Ashton is still kicking butt and beautiful-only 8 days until she turns 7!!!!!!
Really, life is MIRACULOUS!

hey it's been a while since I last entered anything!
And hopefully this one will be short-moderate b/c I am TIRED!
Ashton had her 20 months OT visit and it went great...
Her counts were:
WBC=7.7
Platelets=295,000
Hemoglobin=13.5
ANC=3770-WOW!!!

Needless to say, we are continuing to feel oh-so-blessed!

She played her violin for her oncologist only-would not let the nurses listen-:)!
Violin is a sticky subject for me right now. She loves it but is discouraged due to BAD placement in the first month of school(1 new cellist,1 2nd year cellist,no other violinists-she was the only one and this is her 2nd year) and it has put her a little behind the s she took with last year since I had her placed back with them. She was always loving it and played well and kept up, but things are very speeded up for her now(new teacher,too)and she has been practicing. I may even pay for private lessons so she gets ENcouraged! I have no idea why the new teacher did not place her with the students she took with last year.

If THIS is what I am complaining about-I"M GOOD!!!!

Gosh i love my s! They are so beautiful sleeping soudly in our bed(hubby's OOT) just listening to them breathe while I type!
I'm gonna' squeeze in between them in a few minutes!

oh, In case i don't post again-HAPPY "GOBBLE GOBBLE" THANKSGIVING!!!
Things I am thankful for:
1. Ashton
2. Haley
3. Paul
4. Ashton, again
5. Jesus
6. HEALING!
7. Snoopy-most of the time(a long haul from last thanksgiving!-I could'a strangled him most of the time back then)
8. my family, whom i will NEVER forget getting Paul and I through the past 4 years
9.my friends, many of whom I did not know I had-who have unconditionally supported us through the past 4 years
10. my Disciple 1 bible study class from 2001-who laid hands on my baby(Ashton) when most of my family were not there
11. my new Disciple class who listens to me ramble on forever about all I have learned through Ashton and treatment
12. MOSTLY and NOT LEAST-Paul, my hubby-who tries and does well at balancing all my worries out and whom I seem to doubt a lot, but most ALWAYS take his advice,even though he thinks I don't b/c i doubt his ideas-sorry! Also for supporting me through counseling and happy medicine(thank you celexa and lexapro) and fears-HE ALWAYS brought me back to what Ashton told me in that chapel-"Jesus took my cancer away for you, mommy"=Paul believes that with his heart, mind and soul-whereas my mind goes other places -especially when she was on treatment and counts were not perfect:) he stands firm i that beleif and truly thinks God sent us that message through her-without a doubt!

so much for short oe moderate-have a thankful fall!
Lori

Sunday, October 17, 2004 11:06 PM CDT

Ashton is doing wonderful and does not have another appointment until November 7th or so. She has been having a cold and started last week with croup-we had a weather change-it got to 50 degrees one morning-but THANKFULLY went up to 70 by afternoon. That is why we get so many colds down here-cold/hot/cold/hot/hot-during what you may call-Fall, we call it our extended summer with few wonderful days of coolness.

Paul is feeling mighty high; my once not-so-handy man, has had a pretty handy-man day! heheee! He dropped his cellphone in the john and took it apart to dry out and fixed it back again the next day(and it WORKS!) AND our VIRUS ridden PC is now well and fever free-PLUS he fixed some leaky faucet in the bathroom that has been leaking so long I did not even hear it any longer. WOW. You have to know him to appreciate this, he's more of a "getting the checkbook perfectly balanced" kind of guy who loves football, NASCAR-the Saints and LSU-go tigers! He'd rather pay someone to do these things or buy a new phone(but that would cut into his newly balanced checkbook-heehheee!) Just joking. I married him cause he makes me laugh and gives great massages-WHEN he does it!

Haley just turned 5!!!!!!! i should have listed this first!! October 13 was her birthday and her party is next weekend since I worked this weekend. My baby is getting so big!

ANOTHER REALLY BIG thing...

Ashton has been in remission for 4 years on Haley's birthday!!!!
October 13th is a big day in our home!
We celebrated all day-went swimming, and to the "pizza place" and had a little cake. Someone very sweet gave her and Haley a gift for our big day!
I cried a little about 5 times that day-I can;t believe it's been 4 years. It feels shorter some days and forever ago on others. God has treated me well and I am SO thankful. Please pray for continued health for Ashton, Haley and all our friends that we have ever mentioned to have gone(or going) through cancer with thier child. I cannot wait for it to be 5 years off treatment ,cancer free!-March 2008!!!! here we come!
Lori

Sunday, September 26, 2004 12:29 AM CDT

well we have had a sad weekend, my aunt Patsy passed away on Sat. am at 1am or so. She was fighting so much and her body was exhausted. She had pulmonary hypertension really bad and multiple myeloma we found out a few months back. She has 2 children-my cousins, Wendi(my age) and Debbie, who is older by a few years. She has 3 grandchildren, Lauren, 13, Joshua,3 and Jacob, 15 months. She lived with Wendi, her hubby and the 2 boys for the past year or so. Wendi is a nurse and was very close to her mom-she was her best friend. Patsy is my mom's sister.

And I had to get that anxiety c--- off the page. I learned somethng great at church today...W-T-W or "wait to worry"
It was a wonderful sermon I think aimed right at ME!!!hahaha! It's not that i do not know this already and could have recited the scripture used today at church, but it's easier said than done. I guess I just want her having leukemia to mean something-i am "using" it(leukemia) back, b/c it does not deserves anything more.It took from Ashton and I am taking back-but in a hopeful good as I can kind of way. I want her to be a light for others facing the dark path of chemo-but i have to admit if you think about the chemo part of it, it sounds so dark and grueling(not that it is not for some kids), but on the up side, you don't think like that while it's pouring into your child's viens- you just pray for it do do it's job, you do your best, then head down to the playroom and enjoy the hospital stay as much as you can and when you break out, pending counts, you go out and explore life to the fullest.

I have met the beautiful little that I mentioned on the previous journal entry-her name is Melody and she is just amazingly cute. She was born with Down's Syndrome(last week) and has leukemia cells in her bone marrow. But as I mentioned, there is a type that these children are sometimes born with that goes away spontaneously w/in months called "Transient Leukemia"- so we are hoping for the best, but in the meantime, they are going to treat her in case it is not. Her mom looks great after this (I am sure) shocking week for her family and told me that they really think it is this type but that if it is not, it would be AML, and she'd comtinue with chemo. I gave her Nancy Keene's book to borrow from the LLS and some other info i hope she does not need-but she was interested and since her baby is taking some chemo, I am sure it will help a bit.

Happy Fall!!!! My favorite time of year!-Lori

Thursday, September 23, 2004 9:56 PM CDT

UPDATE an hour later(yes I am still online:) Oh, I have just read some good interesting stuff about Down's Syndrome newborns with leukemia-that it may be something called "Transient leukemia"-a leukemia in newborns with Down's that spontaneously disappears after 3-5 months or so! I pray it is this!!! oh how easy and wonderful that would be! If only they would all spontaneously GO AWAY!!!! FOREVER!!

Hi- I have some really sad news about a newborn to a family in our church... Thier 3rd child( the 3rd !) was born with Down's AND leukemia. How in the world is this possible?!
I know down's kids are more prone to leukemia, but to have it at birth?????
Please keep this family in your prayers. I am going to try to reach out to them in a week or so, when things may have registered to the parents-if so.

On the other hand, Ashton is doimg GREAT and we feel ever MORE blessed. I just read from Sammi in NY's e-mail to me that..."85f the relapse risk is over after the first year OT...... here's the stats breakdown...

out of kids who do relapse- 85ith in first year
10n year 2
5n years 3-5"
WOW so we are down to the 10ategory!!!
Well although i believe in her healing, this makes me feel a bit better.
Anyway, on the more personal front, I know i have mentioned anxiety issues in the past, and since I have been off SSRI's (Feb) I have been feeling worse, YES 6-7 months out, I feel anxiety creeping up again. And you have to know it's not just plain ole' "oh I am nervous and worried"-it's debilitating anxiety where I can't think of anything else (and I cannot get to sleep) and it is SO not Healthy for me or my family-esp Ashton.I'd have thought it'd get better this far out of treatment. So I am back on that wagon and will stay-they must take a while to really escape your system. Now- we ARE Christian and my hubby and I have taken up a bible study together(i have been in others while he was in school) and I definitely turn to God in these moments-in wonder, in thankfulness, in awe,in desperation, in begging(!) snd did i mention THANKFULNESS!!!

Now this site is for Ashton and I have gone on about my ANXIETY, but man when you hear of another diagnosis, it all comes flooding back. Ashton remembers a lot more than I expected about her chemo journey, but seems very nonchalant about it. She definitely has a heart for Jesus. I told her tonight how strong she was and how she was the strongest in our family and she said "No mom, Jesus is the strongest, He did it"

It's late and my "child who stays up till 11pm b/c she took a nap in the car today" is UP and will be a zombie for school tomorrow. Gotta' go-oh isn't it funny, Ivan(hurricane, now a tropical depression or storm or something) came back today and dumped lots of rain on us-we missed him last week, I guess he had to come back since we missed him!!????-Lori

Friday, September 17, 2004 9:02 AM CDT

Well we left for no reason-Thank Goodness! Ivan did not even affect our part of south Louisiana. But I would leave again, considering the damage it did to Alabama and Florida. We have close relatives in Pensacola who thankfully bought a generator and could communicate with us that they were okay and seemed to have suffered little damage. They were going to leave then changed thier minds, then tried to leave but it was too late and traffic was impossible to get out soon enough. I am also concerned of our friend Elizabeth(link below) whose family lives in Mobile. Hopefully they will check in as soon as power is restored or when they get a chance. It seems Mobile was spared the worst too-hopefully they are okay.

We were at the hotel when it dawned upon us(with all the craziness) that is was September 15. This day was 4 years since Ashton was diagnosed with leukemia. It was also 1 year since we buried Paul's dad; AShton and Haley's gramps.
We played it down and it went pretty well-we are thankful not to be back there and the pain of remembering can resurface so easily. It's our little 9/11. It hurts to think of it, but we will NEVER forget and we are glad it's 4 years past. And we hope it NEVER happens again. We look forward to Haley's birthday(*she'll be 5!!!!!) and the day the docs told us Ashton was in remission, steroids were over(temporarily), and that she was low risk-all on October 13. It reminds me that Haley did a lot of her learning how to walk on 4west at Children's. And the nurses remember it too!

Please keep all the people who have lost homes and lives from Hurricane Ivan and of course, keep praying for a cure to leukemia and all othe childhood cancers!!!
Lori

Monday, September 13, 2004 7:43 PM CDT

Hi-
It seems we'll be heading northerly(well, just 3-4 hours north) for this lovely hurricane Ivan! Not afraid of water, but wind- and we have MANY HUGE pine trees by our home-snap! I did not want to leave for a 3 or below, but 4's and 5's get scary. We packed the necessities and unreplacables(home movies and pictures), the dog and ourselves-and of course, the DVD player for the car-now THAT is a neccessity! School is cancelled anf off we go!
We are going to make a trip of it and packed the swimsuits for the indoor pool at the hotel my hubby booked- and here we come Chuck E Cheese! An unplanned but welcomed getaway! Too bad we couldn't escape to Florida!

Lori

Monday, August 23, 2004 11:01 PM CDT

Hey- her 18 month Ot appointmenmt went well:
WBC=6.?
Hemoglobin=12.4
Platelets=28?,000
ANC=2770
Okay-these are wonderful, yet over the past 3 lab tests, her hemoglobin is in the 12's and not 13's(2 months ago and this past week) like they have been over the past year and a half. Should this concern me? If anyone reading this has advice, please pass it on. Would the "r" word show that slowly?
2 months ago-12.8
2 weeks ago- 12.1( week b/f tonsillectomy)
this past Friday-12.4(week after tonsillectomy)
I guess i am just used to the 13's she's had steadily over the previous 16 months. All her other counts have been great and her WBC has gone down from 8 to 6ish after tonsillectomy.
I am not that worried, but don't want to be ignorant either:)

She is doing good, still a bit grumpy and moody esp. to her sister. Throat still hurts sporadically.
Pray pray pray!!! -Lori

UPDATE: 9/3/04
AShton did great for her tonsillectomy, although VERY grumpy, esp. to her dear little sister.
She had her surgery done about 11 hours ago and is doing well. Already talking a good bit and I am fighting her on what she's gonna' wear to the video store-fiesty ALWAYS! She wants to wear a sz 4 skirt that is up to her bum-NO way! I am surprised she even wants to go to the video store!
Gotta go raise money for the Light the Night walk!

8/30/04:
Ashton has a sinus infection and we got her counts done:
WBC=8.4
Hemoglobin=12.1(lowest since OT but great- I guess her bone marrow are pushing out more WBC's due to infection,allergies)
Platelets=256,000
ANC=3440
So GREAT counts and a bit of peace of mind -but she had the most "atypical lymphs" we've seen in a while-9But I looked it up(anything "Atypical" is not a good word for me!) and it's due to "infection, allergies, CMV,..."-I wonder if she is prone to them since she is CMV ( found that out during treament b/c it happened during treatment) God knows! But my new name is Lori "Worry -some- of- the -time" Webre, but today is okay. If only her mood would be more stable. I think she is stressed about school and her upcoming little surgery and the fact her daddy has been making lots of out -of-town trips and she (we) miss him! Come home daddy-get out of New York-come home!!! We gotta bet on more NASCAR races this weekend!
Love, Lori

Please keep Ashton in your prayers... but mostly keep these kids in your prayers for HEALING too!...
1.Juliana Banana(canada)on chemo and about to start radiation(www.caringbridge.org/canada/julianna)
2.Connor(ia)on chemo(www.caringbridge.org/ia/conall)
3.Mia(la)newly dx'd
4.Gabi(la)newly dx'd
5.Sammi(ny)OT!(www.caringbridge.org/ny/sammip)
6.Marshall and 7.Amelia(la)Fanconi anemia(www.caringbridge.org/la/marshall_n_amelia)
8.Elizabeth Hope(al)newly OT!(www.caringbridge.org/al/elizabethhope)

...and all the kids in the hospital right now fighting for their lives and for strength for thier parents to always have hope and trust in God to get them through!

Love, Lori( and so much for a short and sweet message!)

LIGHT the NIGHT walk-OCTOBER 8th,2004-Zephyr Field!!!!!

Friday, August 13, 2004 8:42 PM CDT

Hi all! It was the first day of school for Ashton-FIRST GRADE!!!!
Where does time go-huh????????huh??????????

Oh well and she is now at a friends house and going to spend the night-I missed her all day and now this!??? Yes, I okayed it, but can I change my mind now,please???? Okay, I guess it would not be fair to her-it'd be selfish, but she 's getting so big so fast! But OH how it makes me HAPPY to see her grow!

Okay I still do not know when her tonsils are coming out! It's driving me nuts! I'll update when I know.

Please continue your prayers to the Lord for healing for all the kids fighting hard tonight!
Please pray for continued healing for Ashton-my BIG 1st grader!
Lori

Sunday, August 8, 2004 4:13 PM CDT

UPDATE:
Ashton has HUGE tonsils-"kissing tonsils" and will be getting them out soon. Her glands around her neck are newly swollen from them being so big. The ENT called it something or other, but said it's common-or normal when your tonsils are this big. So she is nervous, but we are doing it at Children's, the same place she had all her treament and followup, so she should be as comfy as can be. She is excited about popsicles and ice cream!
I'll let you know when , when I know-we are scheduling tomorrow. Of course, it would happen during the school year-it took 2 months to get in to the ENT.

We meet her teacher tomorrow night, she is excited about that too!

Hi! We are getting ready for the BIG 1st grade! Ashton is very excited and counting down the days-she definitely does not take after me with this:)- but she is also nervous.
She is worried about her teacher-she LOVED her kindergarten techer and wants her back again! But I assured her that her teacher will be nice to her and that she would have to work hard this year to make good grades. And we will all help her out if she needs it. My nieghbor, who is a retired teacher , has tutored her once a week all summer, and she enjoyed it a lot, so hopefully this will help her with 1st grade.

I have not mentioned that she has been having wierd breathing(like breathing through a straw) at night for about 6 months now(ENT appointments have been hard to come by, rescheduled,etc.). It seems to be due to her large tonsils, but they are not infected. Her pediatrician and oncologist have reassured me that for kids b/t the ages of 5-10 years, that this is quite normal. But her breathing, in the past 2 weeks has been a bit apnea sounding-pauses,etc. So possibly the adenoids are big too. Her sister had this a few years ago and had to get them removed. Paul and I really listened to her breathing last night and noticed how erratic it was-not fast, just wierd, like Haley's was. She has never had an infection of her tonsils, but I am hoping that at the ENT on Tuesday, they will talk to us about removing it all. I have no doubt, that the first sinus infection or cold she gets next, it will be bad-and she doesn't breathe through her mouth. She's also been whiney-i think due to bad sleep- and on the mean side, esp to Haley.
OF COURSE, I have been concerned about other unnamely beasts overtaking her, but it's so much like when Haley had it, I am not going to let that beast overcome me. 2 months in between counts is GREAT, but about 4-6 weeks into it, I get nervous and want counts, but never do it b/c it's just for the sake of ME wanting to SEE her is still beautiful-bad for her, unless we had reason.

I will update Tuesday night and tell you what the ENT says.

Oh and please continue to pray for the health of my baby and all the too many others out there in the battle of thier life.

NEWS- it looks like our friend Sammi from NY is OKAY! Just viral-thanks for the prayers!

Oh and ONE more thing-Light the Night is October 8,2004 at Zephyr Field and "TEAM ASHTON" will be marching-please donate in honor of her or someone you know who has been affected by leukemia or lymphoma-donate to your local chapter! Or to ours-email me for details!

Love in Christ, Lori

I LOVE the saying-"If a mothrs tears could heal, there'd never be childhood cancer"

Sunday, July 25, 2004 11:40 PM CDT

okay- I have nothing to report on the health front but.... HEALTH!
I may slow down on updating,maybe. We are doing well and I don't want to "upset" that trend! I am not superstitious, but maybe need to move on(Ashton went into remission on Friday the 13th of October!). I have been basically been keeping it up for myself and to continue to give HOPE that Jesus still HEALS.
But that i am also human and have been fighting anxiety issues especially since treatment ended. But I do believe she is healed!

I will update after her appointments and special times in her life that God gives us. And that is many.

Thank you Jesus for healing Ashton-please dear Lord continue to bless her with life. Please allow her to fulfill your will in her life with a LONG life-and give HOPE to others battling childhood cancer. Please allow Haley a long beautiful life with a healthy sister to be friends with through thick and thin. Thank you for my children, dear Lord.
amen

Lori
PS please keep Gabbi, my niece, in your prayers, too. She has spent 10 days in the hospital and has RTA, a mild thing to deal with, thank God, but her mom is getting a bit "swamped" by all in her life so far.

Oh and NOT least, keep Sammi, an ALL suvivor,in your prayers, her counts were a bit off and she's had some complaining of leg and tummy pain-pray for her HEALTH!
www.caringbridge.org/ny/sammip

Thursday, July 22, 2004 0:02 AM CDT

WELL- we have had a really great summer so far- i feel so blessed! And I am pumped a bit about being mentioned on Connor's site(www.caringbridge.org/ia/conall) and how Ashton gives HOPE to them still going through treament- thanks AMY!
I am also asking you to pray specially hard for Julianna Banana from Canada(4 year old CUTIE!) and to write to her for a pink wish bracelet and to pray every time you see it for her. She is doing well, just finished inpatient chemo stays(YAY) and about to start cranial radiation which seems kind of scary-pray her side effects are MINIMAL.(www.caringbridge.org/canada/juliana) Her site is very funny and inspirational and is written by her daddy.

Ashton and Haley ahd a fun day with Grammy while mommy worked at her NEW job! They had fun slip and sliding , painting pine cones, watching Lizzie Maguire and going swimming after mommy got home!

then they conked out, much to mommy and daddy;s happiness and are sleeping soundly...

Ashton, i am realizing ,is no longer a little . She asked me to go to Limited Too(ewwwww-not ready yet, not ready yet!) for the first time this week- she needs no clothes so we just looked and she told me what she liked. Of COURSE, they have lots of Lizzie stuff and lots of "i Love Ashton"(meaning Kutcher, not Webre-heeehee) but she thought that was cool to have a change purse that says she loves herself and socks to match:) And heck, i DO love Ashton. So I did get those. There is only SO much with "Ashton" written on it-so grab it while it's out-right? Now we need "I love Haley" stuff! So if you see anyone with "I love Ashton" on their purse, shirt, wallet-you know they are talking about -the WEBRE , not Kutcher(although he IS pretty hot, but goofy). Think and pray for ASHTON to continue to be healed and healthy!
I would love to get the watch too, but don't want Haley to feel unfavored-after all Ashton has had LOTS of attention in the past 4 years. Haley is doing her best to get it now!
All she needs is for mommy to start sporting how much she loves Ashton.

Anyway school starts mid August-(too soon,too soon!) and her next appointment is September 10th-ish. I will have a 1st grader-aaahhh!

Love to all who visit and God bless-I am TIRED.
Please sign in this time-we love to see who visits! i am bad about signing in, but read up on some CB sites , as well as CB surf all these AWESOME familes. Pray for them and know God is in every breath!

Lori

Thursday, July 8, 2004 11:21 PM CDT

Hey!
Ashton is officially 16 months OT! She had a great checkup:
WBC=5.65
ANC=2300
Hemoglobin=12.8
Platelets=238,000

Oncologist had nothing to say, which is good, and the anxiety is lessened for a while.
I simply CANNOT wait for Ashton to get to 18 months OT-just one of those milestones you set in your head. Next goal will be 2 years next March(2005). I am excited that Ashton will be 4 years in remission on October 13,2004.
4 years!!! In 3 months!

Thank you God for a great counts and checkup!!!

Thanks for the prayers-God bless.

Enjoy the rest of summer!

lori

Thursday, July 1, 2004 10:54 PM CDT

Hi all-enough of the downer stuff...
(read last entry for reference)

We have had a wierd week and 1/2:
our septic tank backed up(YUCK) so we had to get a plumber (on a Saturday)and the guy to empty it$$$!
Haley had a fever all last week with no symptoms(103) and now Gabi is in the hospital with pneumonia(at Childrens), she also had high fever yesterday and today.
Ashton has been a pill latley(God love her)-she does not like for anyone to talk to Haley lately, yes, TALK, to Haley.
Ashton has had a busy 2 days-
1)spent day at doctor with me, met friend from school, went swimming , stayed at her house until almost midnight
2)had over another friend and little sister, went swimming-TIRED cookie! Really quiet too-of course any change in behavior and i watch her like a hawk(poor thing)

We have clinic next Thursday for 16 months off treament(OT) and would really like to ask you to pray for a healthy checkup. She has had 2 headaches this week and i know she is tired and has sinus issues(as usual) but another light goes off in my head. I just write about all my crazy worries b/c God knows Paul lives with it and not many others understand completely WHY I get nuts like this over seemingly BENIGN issues(to them). I know i am worrying for no reason-yes that scripture goes off in my head every moment I DO worry-"it adds not a minute to my life"-but HOW not to worry is another issue. It's in God's hands and I trust Him.
Any hoo-she is doing WONDERFULLY and I am THANKFUL for the sounds of thier voices(even the whiny ones), the mess of barbies in my home(and Polly Pockets-tiny, paints, paper, projects,etc,etc...)I am thankful for the honor to fuss at her too and fight over clothes(yes, already, something new in the past couple months) for church mostly(she wants to wear the same thing every week) AND last but NOT least-I am thankful for thier snuggles almost every night of Paul and my lives that take away precious sleep from us(Paul mostly) that we are working on-but I know that day will come when I am going to be weird, shunned, when they won't want hugs and kisses as often-this WILL bother me one day!

Our next summer activities we have planned are:
1.Children's Museum
2.N.O. Art Museum and City Park picnic
3.maybe another ride to the beach before school starts
4. SpiderMan movie(we have seen Harry Potter!!)
(Haleyloves Spiderman:)))

Love to all and please pray for Ashton and all kids referenced on this website!

Love, Lori

Monday, June 7, 2004 11:04 AM CDT

Hi all
this may be dpressing to some but i have had a day of wallowing in self pity and a little gloominess-which we are all allowed right! I am okay, but we had a week of no symptom fever(viral after work,etc) with Haley that turned into an ear infection(her fever spiked to 103 after a few days of slowly going down)and Ashton has been DEFIANT and downright to her sister...could it have been that attention was going to Haley?? She is used to more attention by default, although we have been working on that for a year now. Haley has been holding her own though. I think Ashton was just bored this week with staying in due to Haley being sick-but that's no excuse. Paul and I had to REALLY correct her today and had a big sit down "talk" with her together for the first time. Although I would not change anything we did for Ashton while going through chemo(she got a BIT spoiled) we are dealing with it now. Big deal right?? Well, it pains me and hurts me soooo much to fuss at her, we even had to swat her today on the hiney-eeewwwww-did I say that. I know she needed it though. I know God doesn't want us to let her grow up a brat. This is what i wrote-it's very deeply Christian in belief, b/c we are Christian, and there was no other way, nor would I not give Him the glory....

How I Feel Right Now(6/27/04)

I feel as though tomorrow can suck me under again
Or the next day
I feel lucky and blessed that my child is spared
For the time being
This is not usually how I feel

I have �usually� been feeling happy and oh so blessed that my child is doing wonderful and I have no fear of the thing I fear coming round again
EVER

I �usually� believe with all my heart, mind, and soul that she is healed
and that God will use her to be a shining light to others going through this fear

I am feeling disappointed with this life and want to look and find something more
But what?
My life lies before me
Everything that makes me fulfilled is here in this place
Why the emptiness?
I am sick of hearing of another child succumb to my worst fear
I am tired and worn from worry
I am exhausted with fear and anxiety
I wonder if my life will become completely joyous
Or should I be already
She is ALIVE and thriving
Be joyous!
I pray over her body EVERY night for healing
Is He listening?
Does He will this child to outlive me?
I cannot bear the thought I am thinking

Why the worry?
Why the anxiety?
She is full of life and wild as the wind
She is beautiful and anxious for her life to move on

I am overcome with self pity
Help me get out!
Is this my life?
I always wanted a smooth ride
I got a horrible rickety wobbling roller coaster that doesn�t stop at the stopping place(lots of other c--- besides leukemia)
But look at how lucky and blessed we are
There are many doing worse and losing lives
It is said to take one day at a time and be thankful for it
I have a hard time really looking ahead
Planning??
I want to plan
I want to run away
I want the pain in my heart to cease
I want to KNOW I will see Him before my children
I want to KNOW it
Sometimes I feel as if I cannot go on if I do not know
How can I plan?
How can I see a future that is 85-90here?(even though it seems like a lot)
Most assume it�s always going to be there
Like I do most of the time when I try
This is new to me
Not the feeling of despair
The feeling of not being completely concerned for her health
No I will always feel that

Feeling freedom from my fear

Do I take life too seriously?
I wouldn�t wish this on a sworn horrible godless person

I almost feel as though I subconsciously want this to be over and that God will take it the wrong way by taking her back
NOOOO!
I want to be ABLE to overcome this anxiety
I want to know she will live 80 years
I want to see her in her bright future
I want to live like there is a tomorrow to see
A bright life to watch bloom
2 bright lives blooming

I DO feel blessed
I do feel so blessed
God gave me a gift in her, two times
Once at birth
Once at remission

God gave me the sweet smile of Haley!

God,
Did YOU give her the words I heard so long ago?
Was it not You?
�Mommy, Jesus is taking my cancer away for You�
Who else would bestow these words into a 3 year old in a chapel?
Please dear Lord, let me live up to those standards
I BELIEVE those words with all my heart, soul and mind

Is this my miracle?
Do I have to wait 5 years?
Humanness sucks
Cancer sucks
Jesus gives us those breaths of life back
Has he made me so lucky that those breaths were breathed upon my daughter?

I used to �feel� His presence around me
Was I hallucinating?
Was it wishful thinking?
Wishful praying?

Will I see her life prove to me and all that the words were from you?
WOW
THAT would be a testimony
It just takes time
Is that the testimony I will be praising you for and spreading your word through?
Because I WILL dear God
I will spread your word through her testimony of healing in the words you gave my 3 year old
And here it can proven!

You must have big plans for us in April 2008 and beyond
I cannot wait to fulfill them
If only it IS your will to allow her
a long beautiful healthy
Fulfilling and full life

I know she will live up to her mission
She has a love for You I never had at her age
It�s more than I imagined
She tells me she loves Jesus more than me
Is not that SO right?

I will tell her story
I will pass it on
I have breath, I will praise the Lord
I will tell of the miracles He still does
He is the ultimate Healer
I will breathe Him in

I know Satan is real and can fool me by letting me see what I want to see
Is this he?
I just don�t think Satan was in that chapel at an hour of despair
I was talking to You dear Lord
I do not believe You would allow Satan in my child to speak words of peace to her mother

Is there false peace?
I don�t think so
It sounds opposite
Peace is just there, never false
I believe peace is only from God and knowing Him through Jesus

I know others will think that I made up her words
because I did WANT to hear words of healing,
But NEVER expected them
What a surprise! What a gift!
She Is a MIRACLE, a testimony.

Maybe I don�t have to worry.

Have a great summer and God Bless!
Lori

P.S. please sign her guestbook
P.P.S. i took off the links to friends by and now cannot get them back on...
www.caringbridge.org/la/marshall_n_amelia
www.caringbridge.org/al/elizabethhope
www.caringbridge.org/canada/julianna
www.caringbridge.org/ia/conall

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 10:48 PM CDT

Hi all-I have new pictures so take a peek!

I don't know why this home page photo is so big-it is a 4x6 and I scanned it just like that-sorry-It aggravavtes me-it's larger than life!

Paul got his degree in the mail today since he refused to GO to his graduation:) Well I am kind'a relieved-those things can be loooonnnngggg-but I'd have sat through that one smiling!

I was just informed through Juliana Banana's dad that there are some fake CB sites out there-he just was victim to one claiming to have pneumonia like his daughter had-but then they claimed she'd not made it because of that- then found out it was all a "joke"-NOT funny, not even remotely funny. Our nerves and hearts are already hurting for our own children and others we know- and we are easily pulled in by idiots like these. How can you fake an illness as serious as cancer! He informed me to look for family members signing the guestbook and ones with pictures. I guess this one could be iffy to some, but beleive me-I did not "make up" this horrible, but soul searching journey. Not too many of my immediate family members have a PC, nor sign the guestbook-they all know how she is doing,too. And we have all great, full of hair pics-I did not find caringbridge until after all her hair grew back! BUT we have lots of family and friends who support us and have supported us and have signed our guestbook in the beginning and sporadiccaly(SP?). My daughter USED to have leukemia-and she is now doing wonderfully and I keep up her site not only for others to see the suvivors and give hope to those going through this-but I do it for her and I. I get lots of worries out and spread hope-I hope! I pray every day of my life for her to continue to be healed and THANK God for healing her now!
I pray for every kid i come across who is battling a life threatening illness and have lots of hope and joy for them to live a long,long fruitful life! I feel the pain of those having HARD times and remember that it can happen to anyone,anytime,anywhere-I am not immune to it. So we live day to day and have joy in planning "stuff" for the future-something we did not do for years- we had to worry about counts and chemo, etc.,etc.-definitely a day to day life.

I LOVE planning vacations-if only our pocketbook did:)!!! I think showing our kids beautiful and fun places and having great family time is a must-and I feel lucky to be able to do this. I feel even more blessed being able too now that our family has endured cancer-it makes it even better. And God knows, us CK and survivor parents need to escape reality as often as possible!

Oh -the s are so excited-we got an aquarium for thier room! we hope it will help induce sleep too-haha! ashton has been wanting one since in school they started learning about sea creatures-and then we went to Destin and saw dolphins on a sunset cruise-so hopefully we dont' kill the fish-Haley and Ash have already got non existent fish named(we are priming our aquarium as best we can for live fishies that we will get in the next few days!)

HAPPY SUMMER! I AM SOOOOO GLAD MY KIDS WILL BE HOME FULL TIME FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS!!!!!!!!! We are planning adventures!
Love, Prayers, and Peace-Lori

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 5:18 PM CDT

Hi All! I guess one of our blessings is that since my updates are less often-so are the hits to our page! That is OKAY, but please sign in if you DO visit-we(I) LOVE to see who comes by! But it is a blessing-it means that our lives are getting more "normalized" and Ashton is continuing to beat the ugly monster!

Ashton is sad that the school year is coming to an end-but happy to be moving on to the "grade" levels-1st! Her teacher is having them do a "memory" booklet and they had to answer some questions, one being "what do you want to be when you grow up?" And as always(so far in her little life) she answered " a nurse" I look forward to seeing if this endeavor will come to be. We will be proud no matter- but her wanting to be a nurse just justifies the impact leukemia has had on her, validates it, to me. If she does so that i know she will excel at it-being all that she has endured.

I found out this last week of the school year that her P.E. teacher lost a child to Juvenile CML(or whatever it is called now) 9 years ago. I went to introduce myself to her and she was quite open about it and had heard about Ashton in the beginning of the year, but kept looking for a bald or short haired chemo kid and never saw her like that. Then it connected to her,"Oh, ASHTON, in kindergarten!" and I was glad to realize that the only outward affects of chemo on Ashton was a port a cath scar quietly tucked in on her mid chest-under her uniform. It's amazing how she guarded that thing for so long and now it's just a scar form her past that we pay little to no attention to. Just ut Mederma on it as much as I think about it-not much! YAY! I just would've felt better knowing that SOMEONE in the school where my child is knew what we went through- b/c everyone else looks at me like I am a fool when I tell them that playing in the dirt is a new thing(10 months old) for us! And using a public toilet only using toilet paper to cover the seat and not my own personal fold up potty seat and lots of lysol spray and wipes to clean it up 1st. I do still clean it with an antibacterial wipe if I have it, but any wipe is good for me now. And I only clean the bathrooms once a week or once every other week now instead of disinfecting the tub she uses every night faithfully!
I wish i had known her story before this week-but like she said, it's in the past, she's dealt with it, she lives her life today like no other and does not look back. She misses her baby, but has gotten past the complete pain of it all. It's not something she tells people regularly. There is a reason i did not know her before today, I guess.

ANYway- we have a busy week:
Wednesday- I have a physical for a new job! Ashton has her last violin and dance lesson before her dance recital on Saturday.
Thursday- Haley's last day of school and program, Ashton class has a pizza party for family after that
Friday-Ashton's unofficial last day of school and kindergarten program. Haley and Ash have thier dance recital rehearsal that night. Paul's official graduation day although he will not go and we've already celebrated!
Saturday-Dance recital, everyone is coming to!
Sunday-Gabi(little cousin) is 2!!! Birthday party! Chuck E. Cheese, here we come!

Monday-Wednesday at 12:20-Ashton has school but not counted in absences; nor will she be penalized for not going-so, unless her best buds are there, she will not be!And our beach trip will be starting a few hours earlier that planned! YAY!!! Destin, here we come!

ENJOY your kids , enjoy your summer, enjoy your spouse!
Oh and above all- THANK YOU GOD! I love you so! Please keep blessing our family with health and for continuing to heal my baby!

Friday, May 7, 2004 7:00 PM CDT

HI all!(do NOT have ANY idea why everything is underlined-but please check out the other sites and my new pictures!

We have had a big week!
Ashton had counts today-and they were, again, all HEALTHY!
ANC=3020
WBC=7.something
Hemoglobin=13.something
Platelets=2 hundred eighty-something thousand!

WOW- I have always remembered them to the TEE! It's nice to just know the range and how good they are. I also am doing better myself, with anxiety, thank you. I was not anxious at all il we got to clinic and had to wait 1 and a half hours for the doc to see us. This is not unusual, but the anxiety waited until then. I am used to anxiety hitting the days before, if not a week. By the time an hour had gone by, I was wondering if they were (the nurses) talking about us-yes, PARANOIA!- and even was nervous to at least go ask about her counts-how crazy!
But then, 30 minutes later, the doc walked in smiling telling me(and showing me since I like the proof on paper!) her counts were great, checking her up and letting us go!WHEW! I had no reason to worry considering Ashton has been acting and looking as normal as can be-even crazy!!! Her and her sister fight like good ol'e fashioned sibling rivals! Or they get along so perfectly well! And play great. NORMAL-whatever that may be.

BIG BIG BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!

Paul Dennis Webre of Covington, Louisiana, has just finished his MBA in Finance!!!!!!!! He has been in and out of school for this for 10 years-yes, as long as we have been married, he has been in school! I am so excited about him being home those extra nights! So are the s. He took off the semesters we had kids and moved back and forth from Dallas, and a year when Ashton was diagnosed with leukemia.
Well, he had his last class, presentation with a brutal critique, on Thursday night! Got an "A"!!

I am so proud!

Thank GOD! He has been GOOD! He has blessed us profusely and we appreciate it and know it and thank Him for every moment!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 12:12 AM CDT

Hi! I love when people sign my guestbook and I guess since I am doing SO WELL and mommy is updating less often, that it is not signed as often.I am home from school today-but playing outside now-because I had a 101 temp last night and i'm coughing yucky! So me and Haley are home and mommy is exhausted being up with me-but I DID go back to sleep-mommy has to "watch" me and it aggravates me:) So while mommy was sleeping in a bit I got up and ravaged some of the Easter candy while I watched "Cheaper By The Dozen" after cereal of course! Then Haley got up and ate some Fruit Roll-Ups and cut mommy's dish towel with her scissors she uses for making korker bows(very sharp) and poured all the alcohol(from cleaning the thermometer last night) in the sink-we hope.
Going to the doc today to see what i got-Ashton

Okay- I slept in for another hour and woke up to wrappers and a cut up dish towel and to my HORROR, and empty alcohol bottle that i left closed on the counter at 4am. Haley does the darndest things-makes me feel like a bad mom-haha! I begged her to tell me what she did with it- but she was acting fine and no alcohol on her breath(I cannot believe I am saying that-scary) and I smelled a bowl that was in the sink and it DID have a strong alcohol smell.
We have Ashton's 14 month OT appointmet May 7, so say a prayer everything is just as pretty as it has been-healthy healthy healthy!
Fever makes me concerned of course, and this is her 3rd since being off chemo(it's just starting to feel like its in the past and some memories of it are starting to fade!-Although the feeling can easily be revived by a little fever!) She is out playing though and I am not stopping her.

Please continue to keep Kaitlin's family in your prayers and check out the websites i have listed above!

Love, Lori

Friday, April 16, 2004 11:54 AM CDT

Hi!
The EASTER BUNNY came-YAY! Mommy and daddy could not get tickets to Disney On Ice- Disney Princesses- and the Easter Bunny came through! Plus LOTS of candy to mom with! School starts back up on Monday and I am excited- I missed my friends-esp. Alexis- but got to play for 3 days with my good friend Rachel! I have been "making" ant piles(something mom would have cringed at last year) out of goosh gosh(mud and water) and coating ice cubes with sand and putting them in the freezer(to moms wonder). We are hoping to habitate ants under out swingset. Other than this, I have been aggravated by Haley, who likes to copy my words and irritate me( but I'll get her back!), but i love her and refuse for her to have her own room; cause that means I will have my room to myself and that scares me! Well, let me get back to "sneaking" candy under my moms nose and getting back at my sister.

Love, Ashton

It's me now...
I know this page is mostly a journal for me and eventually for Ashton,but I am so happy when others going through this too join in the journey with me and me with them.
I have recently re-found a Leukemia and Lymphoma Society booklet that explains the "Emotional Aspects of Childhood Leukemia"-childhood cancer in general. I re-read the part about after treatment is over and the bond you have created with your child who went through cancer and chemo.
I felt ever better-that my withdrawals from that bond is normal. My anxiety is expected. I knew all this of course, but seeing it on paper and bound made me feel even more validated. It is a strong bond all you non cancer kid parents!
Ever since she hit a year OT and ever since the doc told me that as each year passes, her chances of survival until she is an old decrepit(sp?) woman get better and better. Ever since I read a certain very hopeful study a friend sent me and MOSTLY every day I see Ashton laughing,playing, singing, dancing, playing violin(kinda' screechy-like:)), and just BEING a healthy "normal" 6 year old - I TRULY can appreciate every single moment of my life-of her life.

A lot of talk on PED-ONC SURVIVOR list about how we handle the after-effects of this trauma. Every one is different and processes things differnetly. Even me and my hubby take different approaches-he does not like to look back, nor does he get too upset or anxious when Ashton shows signs of illness, and seeing other kids going through what his baby battled still makes him want to turn away; but he knows he can't now, like we both did before. I am very different as most of you may know: I do worry(though now it's a concern not so much as a worry) when she gets sick, and I like to look back every once in a while to appreciate what a difference things are now. But i don't get as upset as i used to when i think back.

Someones caringbridge site I came upon had a perfect slogan that i hope they do not mind me borrowing;

"If a mom's tears could heal, there would be No cancer"

So true.

Ashton continues to be healthy. Please thank God with me and pray for her and other kids to be healed completely.
Please support research.

Love, Lori

Thursday, April 8, 2004 0:00 AM CDT

Okay,we are still sad, but need to fill Ashton's life with life and JOY as much as possible,right? It is time for her website to move on, although Kaitlin's life is forever etched in our hearts and minds.

We went to sunny, BEAUTIFUL Pensacola, Florida this past weekend and the s LOVED it. They would be beach bums if we lived there! They roll in the sand and pour it on thier heads and have sand in places by the end of the day I cannot mention but you can only guess!

We go back to Florida in May-to Destin- to celebrate Paul and Ashton graduations. We are looking so forward to it-as we LOVE the beach.

Ashton is having a busy week; she had Field Day today and ran a bunch of goofy races, she has her Easter party tomorrow and her and Haley have thier dancing pictures taken! Haley also has her Easter Party tomorrow! Mom will be wiped.

Ash has been feeling on and off yucky-I think she has a touch of a tummy virus due to certain conditions I will not mention-you can guess again! The joys of parenthood:) (Not throwing up) She either feels great or all of a sudden her tummy acts up. Come on summer!!! I am tired of on again off again stuffy noses or tummy virus. Warm us up, chill us out, make us well...:) Of course all this makes MY tummy turn...

Please remember to stop everything at 3 pm on Friday-as Jesus dies for us-takes away our sin-say a prayer thanking Him for Him and for our lives. Then, on Sunday, eat LOTs of candy from the bunny and celebrate!!!!!! He is risen!

We are planning our first Easter Egg Hunt-yay!
I can't wait- niether can the s!

Happy Easter! Happy Passover!(such a good story)
happy Resurrection Sunday!
lori

Monday, March 15, 2004 4:07 PM CST

Kaitlin's passing is hurting, so I cannot fathom her parents grief. I am very concerned with Ashton's reaction because these s were so close-they used to watch TV together in bed at midnight hooked up to thier IV poles filled with poison to make them well, while Khristie and I talked or prayed over/for them. Khristie has an iron will for God's word-she lives it! .

I am still in disbelief, and I am so at a loss for words for Khristie and Corey and the grandparents, who we got to know well too. My mom and her mom connected well going to clinic every week for over 2 year.
Kaitlin, fly, play, swing and be joyful- I can imagine your happiness, you sweet, beautiful angel-I miss you and so will Ashton-oh so much!

Love, Lori and family

ANOTHER UPDATE!!

Ashton had her popsicle sale to benefit cancer kids and she made $21.75 in a few hours on 25, 25cent homemade popsicles! Paul was with the s for the sale in our front yard and he said people were giving up to $5 for 1 popsicle! Ashton made signs saying it was going to help "cancer kids" and it will go directly to the 4th floor at Children's Hospital in New Orleans- for those kids only.
She wants to do it again to make more money for the cancer kids-this mom and dad could not be MORE PROUD!

UPDATE!!!!
3/25/04
Ashton took the news about Kait as best can be. I am proud of her as she now is on a mission to sell koolaid popsicles to the nieghbors to raise money for the kids in the hospital, "or the leukemia society, so they find a way to heal all these kids".
SO...
we are having that sale this weekend!!! She is soooo excited about it. If this is the way she vents her emotions about Kaitlin's , then I am happy! Kaitlin is still spreading hope! Even though Kait did not have leukemia, she is wanting to help and reach OUT! She is 6-i am so PROUD!!!

I recieved a GREAT e-mail from a fellow mom of an ALL kid-she mailed me a study,although a small study(about 200 kids w/ ALL like Ashton's-trisomy 4/10)that 4 year survival rates are 96.6nd higher depending on something called a DNA Index. WHEW!
The DNA index they studied for the 96.6ate was 1.16-Ashton's is 1.14.
There were 19 kids on this study with a DNA Index of lower than 1.16-and all 19 are still in REMISSION!!!!!!!!!DOUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is THAT great news or WHAT!!!
i know she's healed , but the journey still goes on -and that's the tough part-FEVER just causes
A-N-X-I-E-T-Y...

Thank you Machelle!And, for more news, the LLS Leukemia Cup Regatta where Machelle and her ALL survivor, Elizabeth, lives, raised $20,000 on thier FIRST regatta ever!!!
We are $100,000 closer to a cure and helping familes like ours just from 2 BEAUTIFUL SURVIVOR CHICS!!!! 2!!!
Imagine what more can do!

HAPPY SPRING!
Lori

THANK YOU TO ALL THE SAILBOAT RACERS WHO RAISED MONEY IN ASHTON'S HONOR FOR THE LEUKEMIA AND LYMPHOMA SOCIETY!!! YA'LL RAISED $82,000 FROM THE LAST TALLY I HEARD SATURDAY AFTER THE RACE!!! $10,000 WAS FROM ONE MAN WHO IS A MEDICAL RESEARCHER WORKING ON CANCER RESEARCH-AND/OR OWNS A COMPANY WHO DOES THIS!!! HE WAS SO INFORMATIVE FOR US AND WE ARE SO APPRECIATIVE! WE HAVE TO ESPECIALLY THANK THE LLS-KARLA AND EVERYONE THERE! WE WERE SPOILED-THANK YOU TO THE OH-SO-NICE YACHT OWERS AND CREW WHO GAVE US A GREAT DAY! THANK YOU DAVID ERWIN FOR YOUR HOSPITALITY AND KEEPING IN TOUCH AND TO ALL WHO WERE TOUCHED BY MY BABY'S STORY! WE WANT TO DO THIS ONE AGAIN!!!

LORI

Monday, March 8, 2004 9:08 AM CST

Hey all!! It's been one year(3/7/03) since Ashton had that LAST shot of methotrexate, her BMA and spinal tap! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!! Am I 20% less worried?-not a chance,... well MAYBE! But I am sure it will come with TIME-right?! There is ALWAYS HOPE, my friends! And that's what gets us through-HOPE!!! And FAITH!

She has been fighting something in her nose for almost 3 months and it's making me just nutty, but she has allergies and so I'll stick with that. I am prone to sneaking a pulse and breathing rate late at night when she is coughing or complaining of something-GUILTY! 'Cause you know it goes up when hemoglobin goes down! But it's all normal-NORMAL! (I can't believe I just admitted to that!- the checking her pulse thing)

Anyhoo-she's doing great, fighting us on vitamins for goodness sake-after all those pills over 130 weeks of her life!

Praise GOD! Praise GOD, for he is GOOD and I am sooooooooo THANKFUL!
Lori

Monday, March 1, 2004 0:29 AM CST

HI!
Ashton is doing well and so is Haley. I feel sooooooo blessed to have 2 beautiful healthy girls! Paul is also doing well-only 10 more weeks until he is finished with school and he'll have a looooonnnggg awaited MBA in finance! He is soo busy he even told me that I could bring the girls somewhere the weekend before his finals!!! It would give him quiet at home to study for his LAST school exams, and we can have a "girl" trip!

To Ashton:
I love you! You have a special place in my heart and always will. You are sooo funny and have your daddy's sense of humor-little on the sarcastic side, but good!
You are the bravest girl I know and your have been through a lot and are so much stronger for it! I know it can be scary out there and mommy has hovered and kept you very clean for longer than a 6 year old should ever have been. You remembered when I told you that you could go barefoot and play in the sand and mud after your port came out and you held me to it! It has been almost a year since you've been off chemo and I am so excited about that! I know this year mommy has kept you going though some tough emotions-but we are all HEALING! You are already healed, I believe it because you told me. I believe only those words could come from Jesus that day in the chapel. I meet people going through more than we did and my heart breaks- i pray every day -sometimes 4,5,6 times- to keep you well. I tell God I can handle the small stuff-just give me time to not flip out over fever! But i will get through it so long as you and Haley are well. You have a lot to offer the world- I am confident you will do whatever it is God leads you to do- and I am with you through those good times and low times-always! I hope I can live up to God's wishes on being the best mommy I can be to you and Haley and any other kids we may have. Go LIVE!
Love,Mommy

Monday, February 23, 2004 11:15 PM CST

Hi!
HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!!
Well we have had a slow week. Ashton DID have a stomach virus that made her sick with vomiting a good bit of last Thursday night. And she is okay now. Her tonsils don't seem big anymore although she still has that nasally voice that just could mean allergies-or leftover cold. The girls have had almost no schedule this week with being sick, birthday parties and parades this weekend.
Mardi Gras is tomorrow and some of you may not know- the city and all the surrounding areas shut down-like a good ole' holiday! As we are not too much into the parades on Mardi Gras anymore(sooo long and your have to get out there early and it's been cool and rainy)we are going to my brother and his wifes tomorrow for a CRAWFISH BOIL!!!! YUMYUMYUMYUM!!! We cannot wait! We got all the fixin's-lots of crawdads, corn, sausage,potatoes,GARLIC, crab boil, cayenne(to put IN the BOIL-you northerners! not on).
Most people suck the heads-but I find this gross- and I don't like the yellow stuff or the vien!
We had gotten crawfish when we lived in Dallas(not that this is north-but it's more north than us!)and the cayenne was put on top the crawfish and it was SO HOT that we had to rinse them in a colander to eat them-all the cayenne was on our hands! Then they were a bit bland.
This is the time of year that I LOVE being a Louisiana chic! You cannot beat the food down here-which is why our(Louisiana) health rating is overall not so hot!:)
I am not crazy over Mardi Gras anymore though-although it is something free for the kids to do! And they like the parades-at least a few! And, of course,King Cake!
The kids have off school through Wednesday!
Kelly, if you read this-I know I'm making you homesick now!

Thank you for your continued prayers for Ashton-please continue to keep all the kids enduring this in your hearts and prayers. Although the chemo and the rough part is over for us-the fear can sometimes creep up and get to us sometimes. I don't think(from mail i read on PEDONC survivor) that it's ever over for moms and dads out there whose child went through this. I KNOW it does for me. I go through tremendous spiritual and physical and emotional turmoil about once a month or so-surrounding clinic checkups or illness.
March 7th cannot come soon enough! Okay, March 7, 2008 cannot come soon enough!!:)
Lori

Monday, February 16, 2004 6:34 PM CST

Hi! Ashton's appointment went well today, except that I was sooo late! I had to bring my van in for repairs and the Enterprise people came to get me and the girls and gave me a HUGE van to use(the one they picked us up in) so I would not have to transfer carseats again-I would have done it NOT to have THIS HUGE van!
Any way-counts were great!!:
WBC=8.7
Hemoglobin=13.7
Platelets=244,000
ANC=5700-an alltime HIGH!!!
She has been having swollen tonsils for a week tomorrow and this is driving me nuts-the ped. told me that her sinuses were draining and irritating them-but they cultured her nasal stuff and put her on amoxicillin. Pray it works! the onc. says she is not going to do anything either-and she looks great! I was NERVOUS about all this last week, due to the fact that her tonsils were big, she was more tired-just a little- an her tummy hurt. My mind completely went numb and then ballistic and I had bloodwork done on her Friday too! WEll, as the days went by, I had asked friends if thier kids were more tired due to almost 2 weeks of little to NO sun-and a bunch said yeah, they were pleading for them to get up in the morning-so i felt a bit better. Also, the tummy ache in conjunction with other stuff kind of freaked me out-only to have a tummy ache myself the next day-and so did Paul. We felt a little nauseated, but nothing else. Then we found out the kid that sits next to her in school went home the next day with a tummy ache;so some bug is going around down here.
Her counts were good on Friday the 13th too:
WBC=8.9
Hemoglobin=13.2
Platelets=266,000
ANC=4800
These truly made my mind at ease being that the girls were going to "nana's" to spend the night on Valentines! So we went out with friends and had fun!
so stuff actually went up and platelets went down hardly at all
I cannot wait until spring and all this cold/hot/rain/freezing stuff is OVER and my kids are well!
Come on sun-thaw us out!

WEll gotta go make dinner and check up on Marshall and Julianna Banana and Sammi-and get the kids ready for school tomorrow!
"Normal" is wonderful!
Only 3 more weeks until ONE YEAR off treatment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wow!!!
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement last week- I was really needing help!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2004 9:53 PM CST

Hi- Please keep Ashton in your prayers this week. She has her 11 months of freedom appointment on Monday instead od the requested Friday the 13th.
She has recently been battling a cold and it's aggravating me-boy am I scarred-yes, scarred, not scared- I get nervous over a cold that has not produced a fever or any "drainage" if you get my drift. I know it's allergies and the crazy weather down here doesn't help.
Well, my daughter mentioned something today that I could not comment on very well. A little girl on another CB site's dad is asking about writing childrens books for kids dealing with the big ugly monster(the "C" word, honey) and I asked her what she wondered about and what she would want to know and she looked at me and said,"Don't some people get killed from leukemia?" I said, "Well, not many kids do because God made all the "good" medicine that helps them beat it, but yes, some do". And she says "well, i am scared of that and i would wonder about that" All I wanted to do was HUG her and BEG God to spare her from any recurrence. So I did.
I realize that I would have some degree of denial in my heart if she did and that is not healthy-BUT I am NOT PLANNING or preparing myself for what will most probably NEVER happen!!! I realize how with my whole heart that she is HEALED. And that i am not as bad off with thinking that i have any doubt. I always thought my faith was wavering, but my heart is not.

These are things I would rather have never heard come from my childs mouth. I NEVER want her to equate cancer with death, and here she is, scared of that very thing. I know i did that to her. B/c i have a hard time getting past all we've been through and wonder if breathing will ease with each passing year like I hope or if knowing myself, i will never get PAST this CRAP! Please dear LORD, help me to move on OUT of the world of cancer and into the world of LIFE-where she is at!!

I mean I get all wigged out if she says she is tired or is not acting perfectly well. She got through 1 fever without it being the ugly beast and i know she will be human and Normal and have more illness without it being the end of my world. This has affected even Haley, who is very much rebelling right now and I know she notices that Ashton has had extra attention and still gets more-a little- but we are working on her and loving her all the more.

Ashton is almost 1 year out of chemotherapy(3/7/04)-am i still supposed to worry so much??. Does it get easier with each passing year?? I recently heard of someone relapsing 4 years out-almost unheard of!!! Even the tiniest thought of having that reality happen is unbearable to me. But I know we'd fight and win the battle- I just don't want her to equate cancer with death! That is why I think so many children do so well-b/c they dont KNOW that information.

Cancer pushes our faith to the limits, you just have to hang on and trust in Jesus-that HE knows what is best. But I have a contradiction-I know that what is best for my family is for Ashton to stay here on earth a LONG LONG LONG time(until at least 80 years old)!!!! And I think that other parents of CK's would agree-even the ones that have lost a child. That is the part I struggle with. I DO believe that God knows what is best for my life and I have given her to him MANY times, but I do have the tendency to take her back-but it is in his hands anyway.

And look what HE has done for us- Ashton is doing WONDERFUL-more than I imagined at dx-she is alive and kicking and dancing and playing and running and eating and not on many meds and violin-ing!!!!! And fighting with Haley and in kindergarten and making friends!

PRAISE GOD!
Please pray to Him for healthy blood and I will post her counts on Monday-2/16/04.

Lori

Friday, January 30, 2004 7:45 PM CST

Hi. Ashton is doing wonderful and is having fun in school.
We have had a VERY busy week:
Monday night-Paul in school, me in bible study, kids in nursery

Tuesday- helped out at Ashton's school and made dinner for someone-a cancer patient actually

Wednesday-doctor with Haley for another sinus infection, violin at 1pm at school, skipped dancing and went to leukemia Cup Regatta kickoff-said a speech-b/c Paul is sick with flu-like symptoms-finally dragged himself into dr for antibiotics and steroids-yay! Emotionally drained from week and speech(Ashton's story among other realted gut wrenching things God allowed to happen for some reason!)

Thursday-worked and was supposed to go to a "Raising Children Spiritually healthy" conference at church and had to cancel due to emotional and physical exhaustion:) Slept 10 hours! Paul had school-saw him about 10 minutes:(

Friday-went with Julie , mom, Haley, and Gabi to look at daycares for Gabi! Wound up at Gymboree who had a 40ff sale on the "whale" line plus another 30riends and family discount-could not pass THAT up.

Although this week was crazy b/c of things I had planned-therefore bringing it upon myself!- and unplanned-the story of my life! NOTHING was done in the house clothes-wise and dinner was cooked a total of 1 time-Paul did the dished 2x-so it's a real mess here! So we feel terrible physically eating all the wrong things and that makes you more tired!

Here's my motto this week:
I am hereby staying home all week next week!!!
I will not spend a dime except on groceries!
My girls will be to bed ON TIME!
We will have dinner-cooked by me or Paul!
I will catch up on my bible study reading!
We will get out of bed ON TIME!

I'll let you know how this goes-haha

on a FUNNY note... We have been so desperate for sleep WITHOUT the girls crawling into bed in the wee hours of the morning-3-5am-that PAUL told them he would give them a dollar for staying in thier own bed allllll night. So Haley has 6 dollars(6 nights straight!),"for Splash Mountain" she says, and Ashton has NO DOLLARS! She says, "but mommy, i like your warm snuggles so much"-She likes my snuggles better than a dollar-i'd say her priorities are straight and Haley may be our little entrepeneur...
"if you sleep all night in your bed, you get dollars-try it,Madeline!"
Paul says it's worth EVERY dollar!
I say-there's gotta' be a cheaper way! But it's working on at least 1 kid and I'm sleeping so much better. 4 in a queen bed is squishy!

God Bless!
Lori
ps my girls are fighting over barbies and beating on each other-so i GOTTA go!

Monday, January 19, 2004 3:54 PM CST

Ashton's Friday(1/16/04) appointment was long as usual, but perfect! Her counts are definitely looking more consistantly normal:
WBC=7.8
Platelets=227,000
Hemoglobin=13
ANC= 4060

Another month down in this 5 year countdown!! 10 months down, 50 to go!!! Our goal right now is ONE YEAR!!! 2 more months! Then we will be 20ess worried right??!!! haha,right...

Well, after 4 and 1/2 years of living in this home, we FINALLY have a fence up-YAYYY! My hubby and dad are working on the final part-the gate-as we speak. So now i can let the girls out without worrying if someone is wandering in our yard and being outside with them constantly. Now I can watch outside through the window, if I don't want to be outside with them.

Also, as i type, Gabi Grace, my niece(in one of the pictures)is sitting right by me, drinking her milk! She is 1 and 1/2 and so cute and funny! She is at the "mine" stage! Everything is hers!

thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers for healing and strength-it is working!

Please keep our friends, Marshall(who has been doing great, but had a setback -I think he will get back on track soon!) and Kaitlin, and her family, and Julianna(ALL w/ relapse in spinal fluid-but altogether doing great!)and please check out the websites above(just click-thanks Karen!).

Also-I will be doing the Disney marathon in January of 2005 and will start fundraising come summer-and training! Actually, I am starting now on the training. I'd love to do the whole thing this time, but won't give up precious time-the half was PERFECT!! It takes LOTS of time away from family to train for these things. Ashton wound up in the hospital last time and I missed my long runs so i did the half. But it was one of the best times of my life. Besides doing it for Team in Training for Ashton(I would NEVER do a marathon any other way that TNT b/c of the SUPPORT on the road! It was absolutely thrilling and motivating for people to call out "go Ashton!"(they thought MY name was Ashton b/c of her name on my shirt). And the end was so emotional and I missed my baby terribly!

Anyway, I have not done any fundraising since 2002, except a few family members and a friend or 2 for the Light the Night walk in September. So start thinking about donating this year for a very worthy reason.
Thank you and Thank God for your healing!
Lori

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 9:20 PM CST

Hi.
Ashton is doing wonderful in school She got her first report card last week and got "satifactory"(only choices are "satisfactory" and "needs improvement") in everything except "ties shoes,buttons and zips without help" and "does work cleanly and neatly"-well we knew that!!!
And I never thought twice about teaching her to tie her shoes-on chemo I would not let her hardly TOUCH her shoes!:) Gosh no-touch your shoes that were on the floor of some public restroom, or in the dirt outside where the dog may have gone, or in the hospital-goodness NO!
And all who know her well knows she isn't a great "picker upper"! It takes some skill to get her to do that one-or perhaps a raised firm voice(and then her feelings are hurt for "yelling" at her-even though it was just a command made more FIRMLY!!) Well, we've been working on that one for a while now-I know it comes from being catered to and from her personality(my genes,I am afraid to admit!) But, funny, I would not have changed one thing about how we treated her during treatment. I do not regret a thing. We have a lifetime to work on that discipline. It IS very HARD to firmly discipline a child with cancer or on chemo. Someone needs to write a book-HA. I've thought about it many times- although I do not know how successful it would be considereing my children are NOT perfect!!! Nor am I!!! You just do your best and hug them a lot. I am trying to be more a mommy since on treatment we bacame very close-more like friends. Which others say is unhealthy and I tend to agree-but not completely in situations like ours. A lot of times, it's just mom or dad you have to play with over long periods of time-esp. when you have fever or counts are low. Ashton and I have a bond I probably will never have with Haley. Not better or worse, just different.
i hope i never have to bond with Haley LIKE THAT. Parents of cancer kids have to learn thier own rules, b/c you want to spend little to no time battling since your kids has "bigger fish to fry"! And arguing mostly becomes nill when you go through something like childhood cancer b/c who care about anything but your kid getting well-you smile at EVERY tiny ray of hope and any fuss you had with anyone becomes dumb and crazy and you want to say "forget it" and you DO! Childhood cancer puts into action anything you have been meaning to put into action for a while that's been on the backburner. You don't care if you live in a shack and drive a 1970 oldsmobile(just a guess on a car!), your child on chemo will get anything (almost) that makes them comfy and keeps them busy and is in line with affordability. You may have beleived in God and taken Jesus into your life-but suddenly, Gos is in your mind ALWAYS and Jesus is in every breath that you take-and mostly in your child's.

Ashton's 10 month OT appointment is Friday-1/16/04. It's actually been 10 months, 1 week, and 2 days on Friday.
She has been in remission for 3 years, 3 months and 3 days.
Please keep her healing in your prayers as well as all these other children battling childhood cancer.

Our friend Marshall is doing much better-www.caringbridge.org/la/marshall_n_amelia

Kaitlin is in the hospital again-I do not know why and I found out through a friend of my sisters.PRAY PRAY PRAY FOR HER HEALING.

Check out Julianna'a site from Canada-funny and eye opening;www.caringbridge.org/canada/julianna

I am taking a 40 day course on the book, "The Purpose Driven Life" it's gonna' be great and maybe I'll find some guidance! Check it out.

Happy 2004!
Lori

Saturday, January 3, 2004 1:47 PM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ashton and I love all the messages-so thank you!

She is doing well-she does have
a sinus infection that has
not budged too much, but no
more fever-Thank God. This
is usual for her this time
of year, though.

She has her 10 months off chamo appt. on 1/16/04. Pray for perfect counts for a good long healthy life.

She and Haley had an excellent Christmas and new years eve.
They actually stayed up until
midnight and we toasted in
the new year to a cancer
free-chemo free year with
sparkling apple cider for
the girls and a little
champagne for Paul and I!
The fireworks were loud
and the girls LOVED it!
We had some but popped
them all earlier for the
girls thinking that they
would not be up at midnight.
So we enjoyed every
one elses and that was
great!!! We all just hugged
and snuggled and watched
the fireworks outside and
thanked God and prayed for
a healthy year-a happy
year. And , of course,
kissed at midnight!

It was a peacful and carefree
night. That hardly happens
w/ kids!

Please keep some kids in
you prayers that we know
through caringbridge or
personnally:

Julianna-
a CB kid w/ ALL who just
relapsed in her spinal
fluid. her sight is www.caringbridge.org/canada/julianna

Marshall Bennett
-a local Covington child
w/ Fanconi anemia-had
a bone marrow transplant
and had some walls, but
doing better and climbing
them well! He and his
sister, Amelia, have a terminal disease-fanconi anemia.
The goal is to rid of the
symptoms for a long life-actually,
the goal is a cure! Visit www.caringbridge.org/la/marshall_n_amelia

Kaitlin-
who is 5 and we have grown
close too fighting rhabdomyosarcoma. She has relapsed 2 times
and i have not heard from
her mom and I am a little
worried. Pray for a miracle and complete healing for her
and her parents! i have written
about her previously.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ASHTON AND
THESE KIDS AND FOR A CURE
FOR CANCER AND OTHER DISEASES
THAT CAN BE LIFE THREATENING.

LOVE GOD AND YOUR FAMILY WITH
ALL YOUR HEART AND SOUL AND
MIND-NOW I'VE GOTTA' GO APRRECIATE SOME MOMENTS LEFT B/F SCHOOL
STARTS UP AGAIN!!!!!
SEE YA!

Love, Lori

Saturday, December 27, 2003 9:02 PM CST

Hi all! Thank you for signing in-we LOVE to see who visits!

We had a very Merry CHRISTmas; Ashton and Haley were spoiled rotten as it should be! We woke up Christmas morning to a motorcycle(battery operated one!)and a Swan Lake Fairy Queen for Haley and a princess scooter and Pixter color for Ashton and various stocking stuffers from Santa-good ole' boy! After that we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and ate cake after breakfast in His honor(a tradition we do every year)-the BEST gift of all.

We got to spend Christmas at home most of the day-it was so nice. We went to Paul's moms after that. She is hanging in after Mr Muss (Paul's dad and her hubby of 36 years)passed away. Kind of sad at her home. I'm sure it will get easier with time, but right now it's rough for the family-we miss him. he filled that house with comfort and laughter.
Then we went to my dads and sisters-where Gabi, Ashton's favorite cousin lives! She is 19 months and hilarious-every time someone opened a gift she said,"wow!". So cute!

Ashton is doing better after her sinus infection-still coughing a bit-but no more fever! YAY!

Her next appointment-10 months off chemo!- is mid January.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Monday, December 22, 2003 3:35 PM CST

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Well, Here it is vacation/holiday time and Ashton gets her first fever off chemo. I think we have done well-no fevers in almost 10 months!
She is very congested and has that "croupy" cough at night and a yucky one every so often during the day. She has a low grade fever-100.6 was highest last night. Going to Dr. Gioe today at 4:15.

Please keep her in your payers to be better by Christmas!!!
Fevers are nerve-wracking for me but I feel a bit fine about it-I know she is healed!!!
Lori

Update-12/23/03-Tuesday
She has a nasty sinus infection and is on Omnicef antibiotic. She is acting normal now, but had another temp spike of 100.7(not too bad) last night. She just told me she is sweating now and I wonder if she's breaking it! So far-the first fever OT has not been SO bad! WHEW!

MERRY CHRSITMAS!
LORI

Saturday, December 13, 2003 9:46 PM CST

HI!! Ashton's 9 month OT appointment was great!!
ANC=2700
WBC=7.1
Platelets=227,000
hemoglobin=13.1
She is doing wonderful, having fun getting ready for Christmas, making ornaments and decorations and helping put up the tree with her sister, daddy and me!
My brother, Mike and his wife just found out that they are having a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited, not that i would not be JUST as excited for a boy, but my brother needs a baby girl-he's gonna be "mush"! he's a police officer now and had a rough start as a teenager, but his life is turned around and now he's having a baby!!! All girls in this family so far-we will inherit an 8 year old boy in February when my other brother ties the knot with his mom-yes, the 8 year olds MOM-alright!:) And is he a sweetie!!!

I still have to get my CHRISTmas cards out, I have been busy working. The girl I'm working for is on maternity leave so I will be very busy for 6-8 weeks. Can't wait till it's over, but will appreciate the income, esp at this time of year!!

The girls are looking forward to being able to take out thier earrings that they were pierced with, and picking out ones for Christmas! I believe thier Granny "B" has a surprise for them!

I have little more to report except that Paul is FINISHED school this sememster and has ONE semester left and graduates on May 21, 2004 with his MBA. YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!He's been in and out of school for his masters for almost 10 years-with kids it's been rough, and he skipped semesters when the girls were born and , of course, when Ashton had leukemia, he took off a year.
It's getting hard and we all can't wait for daddy's head to be screwed back on straight!!!hahahahaha kidding.....maybe......ha

hohoho!!!!
Merry CHRISTmas!!!!!!!!!
Lori, Paul, Ashton, and Haley

PS-pray for a miracle for Kaitlyn-she needs a Christmas miracle-been fighting constantly rhabdomyosarcoma for over 3 years!!! She is 5 and 1/2-I've written about her before.

PPS-oh and I joined the "CANCER SUCKS" club-cause it does...

Sunday, December 7, 2003 9:55 PM CST

Hi-her appointment has been rescheduled to this friday-12/12/03. oh I love these things, the anticipation and all-haha(sarcasm)
She is doing great, thank you very much. Active and dancing and parading-what, parading? Yes, She was in a Christmas parade on the lakefront(cold day-yuck!) with her dance school-Faith Dance Academy-a Christian dance school we love. Haley goes too, but they could not parade the little ones-but she had fun watching and catching candy and beads and watching Ashton and her friends. You know, beads-we down here in Mardi Gras land parade for everything and throw stuff at the paraders watching(candy and beads!).

We are looking forward to a peaceful and happy Christmas, slowly but surely getting ready to celebrate a BIG birthday for Jesus.
Santa will be coming here-my girls have been pretty good this year! Maybe mom and dad have been too!:)

We have had a depressing week though-our church family lost a child to Lou Gherigs(sp)-he was 6 and we(me , Ashton, Haley and a friend, Rachel) just met him right before thanksgiving. We also went to meet a friend I have written about before-Kaitlyn(rhabdomyosarcoma) who is not doing so well. She was dx'd the same week Ashton was dx'd with ALL and we all became friends. Medicine has no more to offer, but they are doing some alternative therapies-lots of herbs, etc-there is ALWAYS hope! There can always be healing-sometimes God waits till the last possible minute to rescue you-He did it for the young girl in the bible who was considered dead-I LOVE that miracle! Although the anticipation on her parents watching this had to be gutwrenching and awful.Lots of questions for Him-lots!
I THANK GOD for every day with my girls. I pray every day for healing and a good long life for both my children-like 80 years!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON-never forget that!!!

Sunday, November 30, 2003 8:04 PM CST

Oh Gosh , this will be short, b/c I have been on the computer a while now-shopping-hehehee-a bit. No buys though. And looking at friends sites.. you oughtta' check 'em out:
www.caringbridge.org/ny/sammip
and
www.caringbridge.org/canada/julianna-a hilariously made site about a leukemia child
and a couple sibs from right here in Covington that NEED prayers badly-they have Fanconi anemia:
www.caringbridge.org/la/marshall_n_amelia

Ashton's party went great-she had sooooo much fun and pitures will be added soon. It was at a place called Looney Birds-which is the same thing as Chuck E Cheese-the SAME. Don't know why the different name. It's amazing to see her like this-out and playing at a crowded place that I avoided for 3 years!!!
It was so amazing-did I mention that?
She was so excited that she was up early waiting to go. This was truly a good day.

PLease keep her in your prayers this Friday for good counts and a perfect checkup-9 months off chemo!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2003 10:45 PM CST

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Well, we are doing great and very full.
Ashton spent all day yesterday with her freind Rachel and a new friend from school, Alexis. It was weird letting her drive off with a mom I just met in August-a very nice mom and dad. She has not been driven by anyone but us and occasionally family and Rachel's mom... I know, I know,let her grow up...:):(
And her cousin, Gabi, and my sister spent the night and helped prepare for Thanksgiving-so she had a big 2 days-tomorrow-we RELAX! I was going to head out and shop for something specific-but gosh that day is the WORST to go and is it worth it??:)
Ashton is getting a pretty good cold and i am a little nervous inside. Her 9 month off chemo appt is next Friday-12/5/03
Please say a prayer for GREAT counts. that anxiety like to creep up-go away, go away!!!

MY BABY WILL BE 6 ON 12/1-MONDAY!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY IS IT A GREAT FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 YEARS AGO I COULD NOT EVEN SEE THIS... AND HERE WE ARE-SHE IS DOING WONDERFUL. PRAISE TO GOD
6 AND SILLY AND ALIVE AND WONDERFUL AND IN SCHOOL AND OFF CHEMO AND A LIFETIME OF TURMOIL IS LOST TO HER-SHE REMEMBERS LITTLE -YAY!

PRAYERS AND JOY AND LOVE TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lori

Monday, November 10, 2003 1:54 PM CST

Hi!
Ashton's 8 month off chemo went well
ANC=3860
WBC=7.2
Hemoglobin=13.?
Platelets=228,000

YAY!

Our next goal is one year -3/7/04. That's the small steps we are taking but we cannot wait until 5 years off chemo-wow, will that be a relief-then Paul and I can REALLY breathe normally. but we'll never be the same, nor will some of ya'll!

Disney was a blast, we had lots of fun. We had 4 families and it was a busy week. Our family took the last day slow, went to Give Kids The World and stopped in Navarre Beach on the way home. It was BEAUTIFUL, blue and clear-and cold. And there was hardly anyone there.
We had to take the car though due to an accident in the van (someone hit me)4 days b/f leaving for the trip. I was SO disappointed. I was looking so forward to the room in the van for that long drive.
But it turned out okay and the drive was not so bad.
We stayed at the All Star Sports resort and it was great-I'd go there again in a second as the amenities were no different than the moderate priced places-I stayed at Port Orleans Riverside for the marathon, and I like the All Star resorts BETTER.

The new ride-Mission: Space in EPCOT was awesome! It's my new favorite-but Splash Mountain is so Disney-and fun-it's now Haley's favorite-a smile was PLASTERED to her face after that ride-so she did it again Halloween night.
Ashton did Space Mountain and it ruined her for any other fast ride, with exception of Test Track. I already cannot wait to go back; neither can the kids!
Ashton had fun and felt right at home at Give Kids the World. She says Disney World was hers for her "wish trip"-and so it was-at least to all of us. We all had ice cream from the Ice Cream Palace, played some putt putt on thier new little Dino course, walked to the villa we stayed in, peeked in the windows of the Gingerbread House restaurant that Perkins supplies feeds "wish" families at, AND went to the castle of Miracles to play and look for Ashton's star. (They put a gold star on the ceiling with the name of every kid who has ever been there.) It brought back some bittersweet memories. More sweet than bitter-it was the best trip ever, just the reason for it is bitter.

Ashton is so amazing-so smart-she LOVES school so much.
I thank God every day for her, here with us.
God is great and has blessed us so much.

Lori

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 5:03 PM CST

Hi all! We had fun in Disney-had 15 people with us-went through the parks in 4 days-pooped!!!

Some new pics are on this page and of course, on the picture page. Ashton's best buddy, Rachel,(tall blonde in pics) who used to live next door, and her family went. 2 other families(including Rachel's Mimi and uncle and cousin went!!)

The girls(and ONE boy!) all had a blast. The "Not so Scary Halloween" party was not all it's cracked up to be-esp. on halloween. It was JAM PACKED-like summer-we were disappointed it was SOOO packed due to the fact that it was $110 more for a family of 4 to go-on top of the park price that day! We went about 5 feet per hour-AHHHHHHHHHHH! Disney will get a letter from us.

ANYWAY-life is good and if that is the worst that happens to our family and friends-WE'RE GOOD!!

Say a prayer for Ashton to have healthy blood counts on Friday-I always get anxious b/f those appointments. She is 8 months off treatment though-YAYYYYY! Like one mom says-8 months down and 52 to go until the docs consider her cured-I know she is though, right??!!

OOHHH-we stayed in Navarre beach the last night-to split our drive up on the way home too-it was GORGEOUS. The water is BLUE and sand was cool and white with mini seashells all over. It was too cold to get into-cause we would have gotten in it it was a little warmer. And best of all-it was deserted.

And... Disney update...
new ride at EPCOT-
Mission:Space was AWESOME-it could make you sick if you did not keep your head forward-but selected ones from our party went 2x(me and Shannan and Barbara)-really feel like you are blasting off into space-it's one of those things you see on TV that spins to make G-forces on people to see what they can handle.I don't know what the G's were that the ride forces on you though-love to know!

Ashton rode Space Mountain and hated it, but she did it. She is all for trying something once. She was tall enough for Mission Space, but chickened when we got to the ride and someone had thrown up in the ride b/f us- it almost made me think twice too!

Haley rode Splash Mountain-my favorite all time Disney ride-and loved it! She went again on halloween night.

They both loved the Haunted Mansion.

Went to visit Give Kids The World on the last day-brought back some bittersweet memories. It's SUCH a great place. Had to go while in the area.

We are SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO blessed-thank you GOD for your grace and healing!!

Lori

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 5:03 PM CST

C:\Documents and Settings\Lori Webre\My Documents\My Pictures\disney world 2003\4.psf

Hi all! We had fun in Disney-had 15 people with us-went through the parks in 4 days-pooped!!!

Some new pics are on this page and of course, on the picture page. Ashton's best buddy, Rachel,(tall blonde in pics) who used to live next door, and her family went. 2 other families(including Rachel's Mimi and uncle and cousin went!!)

The girls(and ONE boy!) all had a blast. The "Not so Scary Halloween" party was not all it's cracked up to be-esp. on halloween. It was JAM PACKED-like summer-we were disappointed it was SOOO packed due to the fact that it was $110 more for a family of 4 to go-on top of the park price that day! We went about 5 feet per hour-AHHHHHHHHHHH! Disney will get a letter from us.

ANYWAY-life is good and if that is the worst that happens to our family and friends-WE'RE GOOD!!

Say a prayer for Ashton to have healthy blood counts on Friday-I always get anxious b/f those appointments. She is 8 months off treatment though-YAYYYYY! Like one mom says-8 months down and 52 to go until the docs consider her cured-I know she is though, right??!!

OOHHH-we stayed in Navarre beach the last night-to split our drive up on the way home too-it was GORGEOUS. The water is BLUE and sand was cool and white with mini seashells all over. It was too cold to get into-cause we would have gotten in it it was a little warmer. And best of all-it was deserted.

And... Disney update...
new ride at EPCOT-
Mission:Space was AWESOME-it could make you sick if you did not keep your head forward-but selected ones from our party went 2x(me and Shannan and Barbara)-really feel like you are blasting off into space-it's one of those things you see on TV that spins to make G-forces on people to see what they can handle.I don't know what the G's were that the ride forces on you though-love to know!

Ashton rode Space Mountain and hated it, but she did it. She is all for trying something once. She was tall enough for Mission Space, but chickened when we got to the ride and someone had thrown up in the ride b/f us- it almost made me think twice too!

Haley rode Splash Mountain-my favorite all time Disney ride-and loved it! She went again on halloween night.

They both loved the Haunted Mansion.

Went to visit Give Kids The World on the last day-brought back some bittersweet memories. It's SUCH a great place. Had to go while in the area.

We are SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO blessed-thank you GOD for your grace and healing!!

Lori

Monday, October 20, 2003 10:37 PM CDT

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Ashton and Haley are doing great!
We are very excited to be heading
to Disney for Halloween!!!

Ashton is still not wanting to tell
about her day and prospects of
teenage-hood scare me(what will she
be like then if she does not want to
talk to me now??!!) BUT lots of parents
are telling me this is more normal
than I think-even if i hate it:) She
is telling me things at home and has
been very sensitive to movies with
someone dying-like when Mowgli seems
to lose Baloo in "Jungle Book", or when
Spirit is seperated from his mom in "Spirit".
She gets scared of losing her family or
friends, so i think this is due to
losing gramps and Kaki. She had me
in tears tonight asking me, "what if
(a friend) gets sick and dies??" Mom
in me wants to say that won't happen,
and so I do, but then say that Jesus
is with us and we are only given this
life for a while, but he is with us ALWAYS.
It makes me mad she has to deal with
this so closely, but as her leukemia
counselor once told me, she'll handle
death better than any of us when she
gets a bit older. Unfortunately it's
part of life. Which is why we have to
have a purpose and live it to the fullest,
or "out loud" like a song i know says.
I'm still figuring my purpose-I know
mommyhood is at the top, but raising
money for childhood cancer reasearch
and helping those who are going through
treatment to the best of my very worn
mind and heart's ability is what I would
like to continue doing-hopefully it's God's
plan too for me.This may be a mistake
for saying it, but doing echoes and
stress tests have lost thier luster
for me. I think God definitely wants
me to continue that for the time being-
I keep getting job offers:) I feel
SSOOOOOOOOOOO thankful that i have the
opportunity to work so little-if not
for learning echoes, etc, i would have
to work a lot more. God knew what the
future held for me and led the way.
Do you know your purpose??? It's a
good question.

Thanks for the support and love and
for visiting!!!

Lori

Sunday, October 5, 2003 11:40 PM CDT

Ashton's 6 month off treatment appointment went great!
her counts were wonderful:
WBC=5.7
Hemoglobin=13.5
Platelets=267,000
ANC=2780

I also found out, much to my relief, that new post treatment protocols are recommending waiting on immunizations until 1 year off chemo-so that would be March of 2004! I am rleieved about this as I was so skeptical about giving her the shots right now. I kind of wanted her body to recup longer than 6 months b/f introducing viruses and such into it. I was working with her pediatrician anyway on spresding them out and waiting for MMR until she was a year out-but now I am happy to hold out longer on this. Haley cannot have her updates either-just like b/f-No live immunizations-MMR and Chicken Pox to be exact- until Ashton is cleared for her own.

Ashton is starting to have reservations about school-I think the newness and excitement is gone for her. She started violin last week and we have practiced 2x so far.
Now she wants to quit school! This has been crazy for us since 4 weeks ago she wanted to go SO badly! I don't know if it doesn't have something to do w/ her gramps death AND normal childhood stuff. I am NEW to all this stuff. So I am concerned. Her therapist saw her this past week and wants to see her a couple more times b/f talking to Paul and I. This is upsetting us-we want to know anything about why she just started acting like this. She seems to love it when she is there and talks highly of her teacher and one of her friends there.

keep her(and us) in your prayers!
Oh and also all of the kids in the hospital TONIGHT!

Love, Lori

Friday, September 26, 2003 8:29 PM CDT

This picture is Haley on your left with the curls, Ashton on your right with the blonde hair and my cousin Kim, whose wedding they were obviously in recently(hope you don't mind Kim!) As well as being my cousin, her and her new hubby, Mike have been big support in Ashton's journey.

We are all getting on with life as best we can without "gramps". Paul especially misses him during those football games(go LSU! and go Saints!)

Ashton seems to be back to her usual strong-willed self and it is nerve wracking, but WONDERFUL to see. She LOVES school and her teacher. She is starting violin lessons soon and her and Haley already started back into dancing at a new dance school, which they love. And the music Ashton's class is dancing lyrically to is a beautiful Christian song that we sing at church and hear lots on the radio,"This is the air I breathe.... this is my daily bread...and I, I'm desperate for you...." I am so bad with names, but I LOVE that song. I know I will get e-mail with some of you letting me know the official name-but I think it is "I'm Desperate For You". And I am. That song started playing lots on the radio when she was first diagnosed-so It hits home and is very appropriate for her to dance to.

Immunizations... Well her titers were low on all but chicken pox. I guess that has something to do with that run in with shingles during her treatment and she had to get 2 shots of V-ZIG (chicken pox/antiviral stuff that if given w/in 48 hours of exposure)to help prevent her getting the chicken pox or make it a lighter case since it can be so dangerous for chemo kids.
So she is needing MMR, DTaP, and polio. I am nervous about injecting this stuff into her. Like I said I am not anti vaccinations, but I am cautious. I may let them give just 1 per month and have MMR be last or wait until she is a year out for MMR-next March. If a virus can cause a trigger that can start leukemia, (which is something of what we had been told at dx-one of the many speculations of cause)I am CAUTIOUS. I don't know how true all that could be, but anyway....

Disney is just about 4 and 1/2 weeks away!!! We cannot wait. We are preparing by reading them a WDW book for kids to get them pumped-not that they need to be any more pumped about going! It's just fun.

Well it's Friday night and the girls are still up=Ashton has been playing "teacher" since she got home so we are getting a peek into her current world! She has a "desk" made from a rubbermaid bin, tables made from the same thing w/ all the chairs she could get around them, and all of her baby dolls and barbies in the chairs. Half of them have notes taped to thier shirts-they do this at her school for parent reminders-she's gotten 1 so far for a field trip that I was supposed to send the consent in for today-oops! Haley was "sent to the daddy principals office for sitting on top of the tables"!

Light the Night was nice and our team was not AS big as last year b/c I did not send out reminders due to my father-in-laws death; yet it was beautiful and complete w/ some close friends and family. Thank you to Joby and Jeanie, and thier kids for walking with us-it means a LOT!

Have a good fall-esp those northerners who GET fall!!:)

Lori

Thursday, September 11, 2003 11:50 PM CDT

Paul's dad passed away to Jesus tonight. We are very sad to lose this wonderful man. He was a wonderful "gramps" to 3 grandaughters(Holly, Ashton, Haley) and 2 great grandaughters(Victoria and Alexandra, Holly's girls), and loving hubby to Mrs. Bobbie, Paul's mom. And he was a fun loving father to Paul, Kenny , and Scotty.
He fought for his grandaughters against his cancer since May of 2002 and Ashton inspired him to fight hard.

We will miss him so much

Lori, wife of Paul, mom to Ashton and Haley

Monday, September 8, 2003 10:11 PM CDT

hi- this will be short b/c I am wiped!
Ashton's counts were good at her 6 month OT appointment. I am so thankful-the most thankful mom ever! I thank God for every milestone!

Her ear infection is still around and she went on another course of antibiotics for it. If it is not gone this round, the doc will send us to an ENT. Please let it be gone!

She loves school and Haley likes it too. They start dancing this week at a new dance school.

Paul's dad is not doing so well-tonight he went to the ER w/ swallowing trouble and pain and a cough-he has a small case of pneumonia. His cancer is everywhere and the docs only give him limited time. Although i don't beleive docs all the time about that-'cause only God knows the time-he seems ready to let go of this life and go to the next-no pain, no troubles-all happiness w/ Jesus. This has been a rough journey, but he is 81 and this is all we want for our kids-a long healthy, full life. He knows this and agrees-he will be up there rooting for Ashton, I know it!

Have a good fall- I will update soon-Lori

Thursday, August 21, 2003 10:58 PM CDT

can someone show me how to make these pictures smaller???? I have redone it at least 10 times to try and crop it!!!!

Hi. Ashton and Haley are doing great and heading to school this week and next.:( Ashton starts kindergarten on Monday. Haley starts pre-K at out church in September-2 half days per week. So I can still hang on to her!:)

Bad news: Paul's dad, my father in law, as some of you may know, had bladder cancer that had spread into his bones and lungs. He also had DVT in both legs and started w/ double vision-so we were hoping for small strokes(TIA)-but it is cancer in his brain. Lots of small tumors, one pressing on his optic nerve. He is going to do 10 days of radiation and will lose his hair. He has not lost it w/ chemo. We are sad, obviously. He's trying to take it all in too. He asked us to not take his babies away from them-they watch them 1x per week sometimes. They have not done it in a while due to hospitalizations, etc... But started again today;on this day we have found out where it has spread.Weird. They are going to take Haley next week since Ash starts school. he LOVES the grand daughters-wants them around as much as possible. Always has since they've been born. Ashton is special to him b/c he started fighting his cancer b/c she did-and Haley is special to him b/c she "lived" w/ his family during Ashton's treatment induction and during her consolidation chemo. Haley feels just as at home there as she does here.

Ashton's next appt is 9/5. She will have titers done for immunization and pray that she won't need any extras. I am dreading this.

Mostly pray for Paul's dad's salvation and strength dealing with his mortality. he is a strong man. Pray he looks to Jesus for hope and strength and peace.

Thank you -Lori and Paul Webre

Saturday, August 2, 2003 1:12 AM CDT

we had a great day!
ashton's immune system seems to be normalizing and getting back to non-chemo highs!
ANC=3790
WBC=7.5
Hemoglobin=13.9
Platelets=271,000
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Physical exam was fine and she will be getting bloodwork for titers next month to check for antibodies in her system of immunizations that she had previous to ALL and chemo. this will tell us what immunizations she needs boosters for and what she does NOT need. I hope she does not need much, b/c shocking her system w/ viruses and such does not make me happy. I will have them introduce them slowly and spread out over lots of time. Haley will be able to have her shots ,too ,that she could not recieve from 11 months old till now. i will have them do the same-over time. I am nervous about these immunizations-although I think they do need them.

Mr muss(Paul's dad) is doing better-so much so that they started him back on chemo for the 1st time since April. His depression seems much lighter and he is walking outside instead of withering inside. He is an outside guy!

Please continue prayers of healing for Ashton Elizabeth and prayers of strength for me when she starts school!

Lori

Monday, July 21, 2003 9:38 PM CDT

hello! Ashton is doing wonderful-her counts were great 4 months OT:
ANC=2750(highest since OT)
Platelets=197,000
Hemoglobin=12.6
WBC=5.6
She and Haley had a blast at the wedding last Friday night.
Haley was so funny-she has a bear-her "woobie" as some of you know(cannot go anywhere w/out him) and she wouldn't go up the isle w/out him-did not even carry her flower basket! The previous night, at the rehearsal, she would not do it at all, so I asked my sister to pick up a tuxedo(on Haley's request:)) from Build-a-Bear for her bear-IT WAS SO CUTE! The bride loved it! So her ratty bear looked good and she went up the isle w/ him and holding Ashton's hand.
Ashton, of course , loved the attention-and they looked so pretty. At the reception, they had a blast w/ their Dallas cousins(Kiely and Chase) and twirled and danced. We will have much to worry about in their teenage years!!!!
the summer is coming to a close and school is going to start in about 4 weeks-AAAHHHHH-I am flipping out! Good thing is that I have most of her supplies and uniforms(cute). Most of her supplies came from my grandparents house that they are moving out of-2 packs of #2 pencils, notebooks for Paul, 2 "new" packs of construction paper (about 10 years or more old-but still packaged and colorful!), glue,etc...
And they will be starting dancing in September, too-found a new Christian -based dance school. I loved Ashton's previous dance teacher, but like the fact that this new one will use Christian music and is less expensive.
Still planning Disney World for halloween-got our tickets for Mickey's "not so scary" halloween Party!YAY!AND planned and booked haley's 4th birthday party at Chef Mickeys-Cake and all! Soooo excited!

Please continue to pray for her healing and for all those who are in the hospital right now, fighting for thier lives.

Lots of love and many blessings and healing touches-Lori

Monday, July 7, 2003 0:17 AM CDT

Hi! I am crying so hard right now. Just went to a website of a child that went to see Jesus. It is a beautiful site-sad story-perfect place of peace.

Anyway,
We have a busy week! family in town on both sides of family, father in Law just out of hospital(fighting lots of things-lung and bone cancer, pneumonia, too much of narcotics due to doctor:!Living like a zombie brought him back to hospital, fighting lots of pain.) , rehearsal on Thursday, wedding on Friday, Ashton's appt on Friday, and a renewal of vows for my aunt and uncle on Saturday. Oh, and i applied for a job that is not even in the field I trained for-but it will keep me more accessible to my kids, not necessarily less hours, though. I want this job, but also nervous about not doing what i worked so hard for just 7-8 years ago. it is at church, where Haley will be going to pre-school, and I will be able to pick up and bring Ashton to school every day.
Kindergarten is a whole other anxiety for me- i am already having withdrawals.

I always get so anxious about her appointments. I get irritable the week before. I just want everything to go as smoothly as possible, beautiful counts, great physical, leukemia free always! We have been recieving this blessing for a while now and pray God keeps blessing our family with health. I know she is healed-yet this stupid human anxiety blows me away:) Lights go on in my head if she has even the smallest bruise, or complains of leg pain in the morning(which has not happened lately and usually due to growing pains) or does not eat perfectly like I think she should for one meal-only the week b/f! I mean, this is normal stuff, right?
And , we are making future plans-something we have not done in forever-it is scary and exciting all the same.

PLEASE continue to pray for her healing and Paul's dad to have peace and hope.
Pray for great counts! I will let you know the results this weekend, 'less we are exhausted from all the hoopla!

I truly feel so blessed by God.
Love and true thankfulness, Lori

Wednesday, July 2, 2003 3:15 PM CDT

Hi! to all of you. hello Janice in Australia!!!!
Ashton and Haley are having a fun summer, playing, "swimming", Vacation Bible School and anticipation of dancing and school, which Ashton thinks she does not have to do. She says she already knows how to be a nurse!
They have swim lessons coming up in a couple weeks and they are both flower girls in my cousins wedding on June 11.
She is so alive and active-i am still amazed at her temperament!
She is honored patient again for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training for the Virginia Beach 1/2 marathon! We got a beautiful letter from a runner saying how much inspiration Ashton gives her and that she wants to meet her! This is the same thing I did back in January in Disney for LLS. They have lots of marathons all around the country, and even in Bermuda and Alaska that Louisiana LLS in part of. I will do that again.
And yes, Peggy(Kaki's mom) I am trying to live each day to my best-I feel we have to live for Kaki and others that cancer took life away from.We miss him so much, wish we had known him better-this kid was inspiration to everyone! Always smiling.
I hope i can always say I am living and working for a cause, a cure, passing info to help others. I feel this is why Ashton had leukemia. I am on a mission and will always be praying for a cure and better treatment.Every DAY.
Ashton has her doctor appointment on the 11th-4 months OT.
I cannot wait to pass 6 months, then a year, and so on...

We are going trick or treating in Disney World on Halloween!!!-The girls and I and even Paul ,are soooo excited. Got the tickets yesterday. Celebrating Haley's birthday there too!

Life is becoming semi-normal(whatever that is?) and God is great!
Lori

Sunday, June 15, 2003 2:45 PM CDT

Hi!
Ashton's counts were great;
Anc=2300
WBC=6000
Hemoglobin=13
Platelets=234,000
Good check up.

Little mopy Sat and today-did not feel well after church-nauseated-but instantly better when her little cousin, Gabrielle, came in. She just loves her! She just turned one!
Please keep her health in your prayers! thank you!-Lori

Friday, June 6, 2003 0:58 AM CDT

Hi! yes it it so late-we are off schedule from vacation! We had a road trip and traveled lots of east Texas and west Louisiana.We drove from Covington to Natchitoches and stayed the night, then on to northeast Dallas to visit family. we had so much fun-it was like Ashton had never left. She and Haley got along great w/ thier cousins and had a blast. After lots of fun-we caught "Finding Nemo"-and ate a lot and swam a good bit, visited where Ashton was born(Medical Center of Plano)and lived for a year-we left to go see my brother in Silsbee, Texas! A town w/ ONE motel! We left there to visit the parents of a friend Ashton met in the hospital who went to be w/ Jesus a year ago today. Ashton has prayed for him and his family EVERY night since she found out about his death. It gives me tears just to write it. They live in Delcambre, La. Hopefully Ashton has found as much peace and as much closure as a 5 year old can get after going through this. His parents are awesome people and so strong. It is one thing about cancer and if you should keep your kids shielded from what it has the possibility to do. But why sheild them-it was an HONOR to know Kaki. I hated that it killed him, but feel so full of love and smiles when I think of his happiness-he smiled until the end-never frowned that we saw. He is home.
And we were stuck in lots of traffic b/t lake Charles and lafayette and did not get home until midnight and I had to work all day!YUCK!
Ashton has an appt next Friday for counts-continue praying for healing and cure and strength!
God is good.
Lori

Friday, May 30, 2003 0:34 AM CDT

HI! Ashton has never been more full of life and energy! She is now more active than her 3 year old sister, Haley!
It is amazing what chemo, even in lesser amounts , like she had in maintenance, can do to your body.All she wants to do is buy "kauai" (sp?)hawaiian clothes for her "kauai" party! We will have it next Monday! Her next appt is next Friday(6/13) for counts. I will ask the onc again about any lp's -she said no to OT lp's last time. Not that I want them. Just lots of questions about why since other kids have them every so often that were on same protocol-who knows?
I feel so blessed not to be going to clinic every week. Having free Fridays after 2 and 1/2 years of scheduled chemo appts was weird for maybe just the 1st one, then we decided to make them FUN! So we take a ride to the beach, or go to lunch at Sicilys, go swimming at grammy's, or to the water spouts in Mandeville!
This Friday-today-we are going to Dallas to see some family, one who had ALL as a child and now has 2 kids; then we are off to see Ricky, my brother, who recently moved to Texas and is homesick! He wants to see the girls badly! We miss him, esp. Haley, who misses him most.
I think of the beginning of leukemia for AShton, and it seems so long ago, but it still is just as painful. I pray For Gods healing on her and thank him for giving her back to us-I can't ask for more-except to protect Haley the same way He is protecting Ash. It has been a roller coaster that won't stop- and finally feels like it is slowing downYAY!!!!!
Here is to REMISSION FOREVER!
Lori

Wednesday, May 21, 2003 12:36 AM CDT

HI! Ashton is doing fine-her dance recital was this past Sunday and she did great! She danced to "The Goodship Lollipop" by Shirley Temple with her class and it was SOOOO cute! they wore lttle sailor type dresses and hats and all the moms curled thier little girls hair in ringlets-I used straws and bobby pins! Ashton ate up the attention and her and Haley are taking next year!
Haley sat surprisingly still for the whole recital-we are proud of her for being so behaved-so not Haley to sit still!
We are heading to Dallas in 2 weeks to revisit some friends and family we have not seen since before Ashton was diagnosed w/ ALL. My cousins wife had ALL as a child and now has 2 kids! She remembers a bit about it, esp BMA's and LP's since they did not sedate kids back then for those.
Ashton was born in Plano, Tx, so she wants to see where she was born and where we lived when she was a baby-me too!
her next appt. is the Friday after we return from the big "D".

Went to see Ashton's school and meet her teacher for next year-she is uncertain if she wants to go though...
she wants to be a nurse she says and thinks she does not need to go to school to be a nurse b/c she "had cancer and clinic every week with shots and was in the hospital 2 times for fever(really more than that, but that is what she remembers) AND I had a port-I know how to be a nurse"-her words exactly! She is so funny-once she gets there and makes friends, she will be fine!

I feel soooooo blessed! I keep praying for a cure and healing for Ashton and thanking God for the healing He has done.

Please continue to pray for healing-Lori

Wednesday, May 7, 2003 10:26 AM CDT

HI! Well, deporting was almost canceled due to my onc NOT writing the order in her chart and the other onc would not readily authorize it for no good reason-but when I talked to him he okayed it-at 5 pm the night before!
But...
It went smoothly and even though the nurses said there is no difference b/t IV versed and oral versed-she was absolutly different. On IV versed, which was through her port for previous testing , she just would giggle and go to sleep, maybe uttering a few mumbled words we'd laugh at. For port removal she got oral versed, and she was a dancing fool! She kept trying to stand up and dance, but , of course, she'd fall. So to prevent this i tried to cradle her and she fought me horribly-so we put the rails up on the crib/bed thing and buffered her steps w/ ourselves...:)
Finally they called her for the de"port"ation and she was out and happy. It took 30 minutes, if that much, and we got to see her right after in recovery. We kept her port! It is very cool how that thing works. I love the maker of those things.
And... on the way home she asked if her off chemo-deported party was this weekend since we have been telling her for about 6 months that we were going to have a party after this happened. So she wants a Hawaiian party and for everyone to bring water guns and bathing suits so they can play and get wet! She will have this party soon.:):):)
Also... you know how kids don't forget anything... She went outside barefoot, something we have not let her do in almost 3 years-on Saturday, day one after her port came out, and I told her to get her cute butt back in and put shoes on-she told me that I said after her port was out she could go barefoot-so she has been shoeless ever since. i do still cringe a bit about it-but am happy to oblige:)

Going to clinic on Friday for month 2 checkup and blood work. She will get a finger stick.

By the way. Kaitlin is home from the hospital(MD Anderson) and doing well for what she has been through. She has a urostomy and a colostomy right now and is very self concious of course. She is 5 years old. The ostomies are temporary.
thanks for the prayers!-Lori

Thursday, May 1, 2003 1:05 PM CDT

HI!
Ashton is getting deported TOMORROW! Please say an extra prayer for this LAST procedure she is enduring-we have been SO BLESSED!
I have to tell you that so far, off therapy, I have been doing fine-not nervous like i imagined I would be. I have a twinge I thought would make itself appear, of nervousness, but it has been under control, and not showed itself.
I have prayed for peace in our lives for a long time now and no matter what we have gone through, the peace has crept out every time. God has shown Himself every day to us;
in her and Haley's laughter, in Ashton's good bloodwork, in her sinus infections that are no longer there-all of a sudden!, in my lack of anxiety, in Paul's faith-which has been ever growing-, and mostly in Ashton's zest for life and love of Jesus.
Thanks for looking-Lori

Saturday, April 12, 2003 1:27 AM CDT

Oh my gosh we had a great day!
Her counts were;
ANC=1800
platelets=189,000
hemoglobin=12.6
wbc=6000
ANC little lower than I expected, but doc says that it is normal-1500 to 5 or 6000. But her wbc has definitely risen to normal!

Had her clinic end of chemo party w/ Devin who finished about a week or 2 b/f her for leukemia also. They brought them each a cake and balloons and a gift-Ashton got a Sleeping beauty barbie doll. It was fun! It was nice to celebrate w/ devin and his mom and grandma b/c we spent the 2 and 1/2 years together every week and in the hospital for chemo:)

Well-suprise news for us...

Ashton has no more spinal taps!!! we were told b/f that she would have one every 3 months for a year, but her protocol says nope-she does not need any-YAY!
AND
Her port can come out any time as opposed to 3 months that we were told originally.This means NO MORE HOSPITAL STAYS for fever after it is out! WOW! SO it's already scheduled for removal on May 2.( the first fever will be scary for us though-we always have had antibiotic coverage and specific protocols for fever in the hospital and that is calming for me-I will probably beg our pediatrician for something like it for that 1st fever :))

I simply can't beleive this is coming to an end-WE are SO HAPPY!! We won't live in fear of the "R" word but we also don't deny her great odds. God has blessed us so tremendously-THANK YOU!

This has been the first no stress, no worries day I have had in a long time-I will take them as they come and enjoy what a wonderful life we do have. And Ashton, I feel , has been given back to us. We will take it day to day:)

On another note...
Please pray for Kaitlin, Ashton's friend we went to Disney with last year for thier wish trips-she is at MD Anderson in Houston, and had surgery to remove her cancer(the second one) and it was more extensive than they thought. the docs had to remove her bladder(her uterus came out last year) and she will live w/ a bag until she is cancer free for 3 years. She went back into the hospital about 2 days after going home from recovering(about a week) from the 10 hour surgery with a fever that has lasted a full 7 days and the docs finally found the cause-a fistula. The docs say it should heal on it's own if she does not eat any solids-so she is on TPN for a while. they don't feel her body can handle surgery so soon after her previous surgery to fix it.It would be high risk for her.
Please pray for continued healing and a cancer free life for Kaitlin. Her parents are Chritians-her dad is a youth pastor and they run thier churches youth group at Westbank Cathedral. they are so strong but have been fighting weakness-they are so tired and scared and want a "normal" life back w/ Kait. God has worked tremendously in thier lives and in Kaitlin's. They are very spiritually strong.
Pray for continued strength for them-Thank you!

Wednesday, April 9, 2003 9:00 AM CDT

Hi! It is 4/9/03 and her appointment was resch. until this Friday. They will have her OT party with another boy, Devin, who was dx'd w/ ALL 2 weeks b/f Ashton. They are friends and have gone every Friday together to clinic since the start of all this.

She is so alive and active and we are sooo blessed! Even though she is non-stop along w/ Haley-I'll take it!!!
The past 2 days were very rainy and thunderstorms were loud and I have been going out of my mind w/ them inside-they have run me ragged-work is a break today and tomorrow-but I still love being home w/ them. Don't want to miss a second, not one second.

She is a lttle more clingy due to Paul and I backing off a bit to regain what may be called a "normal" life somewhat. We are so used to keeping her clean and hands away from face-we sound soooo neurotic-we have become soooooo neurotic! Clorox wipes b/f touching things in public and antibacterial wipes and hand gel constantly, everywhere we go! My sister-in-law watched her once and brought her to the park and wiped the toy equipment off b/f she played on it swearing that,"she is not getting sick while I'm watching her"!!! Life of a chemo kid...
...and we're trying to ease off. I'll probably ALWAYS have lysol and a portable toilet seat and hand gel for my girls though-something I can't let go of-something I did b/f leukemia.
Prayers of thanks-Lori

Wednesday, March 26, 2003 8:50 AM CST

Ashton and Haley are doing great-about 2 days after coming home from the hospital, Ashton started w/ the sneezing, clear runny nose, as well as Haley. A few days later it was nasty so off to the pediatrician -sinus infection! What is new w/ all this yellow stuff in the air-my white car is yellow and my blue car is green:) I am sure most of you may be experiencing or have experienced this many times:)!

Ashton's energy was high before-on chemo-but now-IT IS UNBELIEVABLE! She is constant-going, going ,going!!!!
Happy to see it! Did not think she lost energy from chemo in the past year or so, but realize, WOW-she did!

Janice from Melbourne,Aust.-THANK you so much for all your prayers and support-it's cool to hear from someone around the globe-Ashton can point out Australia on the map 'cause that's where "The Wiggles" are from!

God Bless our troops!

Ashton's first monthly clinic appt is 4/4-next Friday! Anxious to see her counts and how high they will be
Port out in 2 months or so!

Thanks for your constant prayers and hope for a full, long future for our kids!

Oh! By the way, anyone living in ST Tammany parish-the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society wants to start a Light the Night walk in our neck of the woods in the fall-let me know if your interested in helping get sponsors and raise money-the goal will be $50,000. I will let you know if and when it will happen as time draws closer.

Love and prayers and strength in God!-Lori

Thursday, March 13, 2003 9:07 AM CST

HAY!!! What a wild week-Ashton's BMA and LP on Friday were perfectly clear-"NO MALIGNANCY"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After her BMA and LP, we rested and on Saturday went camping for 2 nights-possibly 3:). WELL-Ash had different plans and started spiking some low grade temps on Saturday night-100.8 by 2:30am. Begged the doc to give her tylenol-finally gave in so long as we called her in the morning and went in to Children's the next day. Went home Sunday morning and spiked again-100.6- so we went to the hospital-and her temp there went up to 102!!! But our stay was short-2 nights-Thank God! On the second night, the nurse came in to tell us that bacteria was growing in her left port-so we had an answer-but it meant an automatic 10 day stay-YUCK. The next morning, they came in to tell us it was just a contaminant-not a port infection!YAY! She never spiked another temp since admit in the ER. Then when we finally got home, she became very congested-so now we are trying to stay on top of that to prevent another infection.WILD WEEK!!! Thank God Paul is off this week.

Thank you for your continued prayers for health and a long life! God does hear us-He is in our every breath. He has blessed us greatly-Thank you thank you thank you GOD!
Lori

Thursday, March 6, 2003 11:57 AM CST

Hi! It it the day before the "clearance" bone marrow and spinal tap and I am sitting here crying at all the beautiful things that friends have written to us on the guest list. THANK YOU!
I simply have a hard time believing that 2.5 years has passed since she started. To look at her, you'd see a normal kid-and I feel so blessed- and that leukemia has been a nuisance(sp?) in the least. How weird to say that. It has been a horrendous ride and i NEVER want to go on that ride again, as do many others.
I am more excited than scared for tomorrow, but as it draws closer, I am getting more nervous. I want to hear those words so badly-"all is clear, the percentage of blasts is extremely minimal-like 1%" or better yet "NONE":) now i am too specific!
I know God is in her every breath, living in her and healing her. I pray that her healing is done and that this is God's timing to heal. She is so beautiful and strong.
Please pray for us tomorrow to be strong and have a clear BMA and LP! It means so much to us!
I'll let you know soon how it went-Lori

Thursday, February 27, 2003 8:46 AM CST

HI!
Ashton is getting her second to last shot of methotrexate on Friday, 2/28/03! This will be her last one that she is concious of-the last one next week will be given to her while she is "out" getting her bone marrow aspiration and spinal tap for clearance.
We are feeling many things right now; extremely excited, a bit nervous and anxious to hear that her BMA and LP are "all clear"-and now she starts remission on her own, complete joy in a semi-normal life-we even just got a puppy:)! We also have felt some complete peace that I know only God can give us. But those other feelings of "oh-I cannot believe the past 2 and 1/2 years were ours!" and "please let that be our only journey w/ cancer in our children-please God ,let this be it!"
I hope we have learned what He wanted us to learn on our journey and that we always keep it in our hearts and minds forever-I don't think we could forget anyway; but life's scurries and craziness won't get in the way of this mom and dad-even if we have to catch ouselves getting caught up in it and I know it is easy to get caught up in it!
I always look at my children and even others in a different light, I think-"praise God , they did not experience this" and " look at her God, she is so strong and thank you for giving her to me- and can I have her till she is at least 80?!-and my Haley too?!"
Now we are looking at schools and this is a dilemma for us, strangely enough:)
Talk at you later!-Lori

Thursday, February 13, 2003 1:33 PM CST

Hi! I am limited on time as I am at work-so...
AShton is doing great and has 4 weeks left-on March 7th, I believe, she will have her last "clearance" Bone Marrow Aspiration and "clearance" spinal tap . We are thrilled!
I CANNOT beleive that this much time has gone by-I never thought we'd EVER get to this point-it seemed like another lifetime away.
Thank you God!!REALLY.
Please continue your thoughts and prayers of healing for Ashton (and all these chemo kids) and also keep in mind military friends and family that are being deployed right now and the families they leave at home to ensure peace and freedom for.
Happy Mardi Gras!
Love, Lori

Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 10:10 PM (CST)

Hi! The Disney Marathon was a blast and I had so much fun!
As Randy, my friend already looked up, I finished in 3 hours 25 minutes or so-but we did stop frequently for pictures with Pluto, and some other characters, as well as us running-okay standing-in front of the castle!!! Going through EPCOT at 6 am and getting there at 4:30 am was freezing and fun all at the same time-did I mention breakfast was at 2 am?:) The girls I was with and I decided to buy b-fast the night before so we could sleep till 2:30:)and eat in our room. There were about 20,000 people in the marathon and half-marathon-split about equally. Donald was the mascot for the half and Mickey for the whole. Fireworks started the race. I WILL DO THIS AGAIN! With Paul, hopefully! I finished w/ relatively no pain and minimal soreness in the following days. It was perfect b/c we played a lot the days before. They told us to rest up, but who can rest in Disney World?!
I only wish Ashton could have walked in with me.
I am hooked though-I will do the Mardi Gras half marathon and then the Cresent City Classic w/ Paul. I will walk in w/ her there! We raised a lot of money-Team in Training had over 2,000 runners/ walkers at Disney. I will find the total out this week. I could not do a marathon w/out TNT-the support on the route was AWESOME! And needed. You never forget why you are doing it.

Ashton has 7 weeks left-we are ELATED!!!!
We are going to 3 open houses for Kindergarten in the fall for Ash this week. How cool to PLAN ahead-have not done it in a while!!! Haley will hopefully get into our church's preschool program and I can spend some much needed one on one time w/ her.

I will be going back to Ocshner next week-St Tammany will phase out, I believe. I think they are tired of covering my butt when Ash is sick or when I cannot do an echo in a room w/ someone w/ an infection that is contagious.

Sorry so long-have had a great first 3 weeks of 2003. Praying for smooth sailing for Ashton, um... for at least 75-80 more years!!!

We will have a PARTY in June-ish for Ashton completing chemo and having her port out and we'll let you know when!!!

I am feeling some brain cells functioning halfway normal again-Praise Jesus-we are planning kindergarten!! I will let her play in the mud when her counts are consistantly high after her port is out-cannot wait!

Oh-Ashton's counts were super high this week -6th in a row of above 2000(ANC), so the onc increased chemo this time by 25%!-only 7 more.

Please continue to keep her healing in your prayers-now the 5 years till considered cured will begin!!!
Love, Lori

Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 02:32 PM (CST)

Hi all!! I miss my PC soooo much and will get back online soon. I guess w/ holidays and all getting it fixed has not been priority. Well Ashton is now down to #10-9 to go! The nurse wrote this on her band-aid after her #10 shot. We are so excited. I also got my packet in the mail w/ airline tickets and shirt for the Disney marathon. Sadly, I will not be doing the whole 26.2 miles. After losing a toenail(yuck!)after a half marathon down here and Ashton being in the hospital w/ fever for a few days I have been set back about 2 and 1/2 weeks and am afraid of killing myself doing that-but I am doing the half and I am soooooooo excited. I missed 2 long walks w/ the team and have been training alone which is NOT fun. I think i can get past 13.1 miles, maybe get to 18 or 20-but not the whole thing in the time allowed and i will NOT be picked up by the sag wagon!!

I miss ALL-KIDS and hope to talk to ya'll soon. I love the cookbook and all the stories that Anne put out. I got to talk with her on the phone and she is a very sweet person. My family loved getting the candles made for Ashton!

Ashton and Haley are so happy and had a great Christmas-Santa and all family and friends were very good to them. We look forward to a HAPPY new 2003-end of treatment, new life, kindergarten for Ashton, marathon and hopefully Disney in October w/ friends! We may even celebrate end of chemo w/ a party and a puppy! The girls want a pet so badly.
Ashton and Haley call the squirrels in the backyard thier pets and even sometimes the lizards too-yuck!

Ashton is kicking butt and we are so blessed. we recently found out that after chemo she will have spinal taps every 3 months-just being cautious for CNS relapse-i HATE that "r" word. I believe that God has healed her and that even though the 5 year till considered cured will be long and i am sure we will be scared sometimes from fever-esp. the 1st-but she will be a testimony to His mercy and grace. It is almost like she is given back to us.

Please continue prayers for a cure for leukemia and lymphoma and all the other cancers too. I pray for no other parents especially to have to go through this or worse with thier children. I know Mary must have been in real pain watching Jesus, her son, die so wrongfully, but with so much purpose. I know moms and dads of children who are now angels felt that pain too. And that their children had SUCH purpose in thier short lives.

I will walk for Ashton and my grammy and my friends brother, , the kids from clinic and ALL-KIDS ,and all those out there fighting this or who are now angels from it. Jesus is in each of their hearts!

Thanks for the suppoert and prayers they are so appreciated and felt-look at Ashton:)
Love, Lori

Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 06:11 PM (CST)

HI!!!
Ashton's counts were great and she hopefully is getting over her sinus infection-10 more days of antibiotics.
15 MORE TREATMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I thought this would take forever-literally-2 years ago! I never dreamed after being told she had leukemia that she would be doing soooooo great!!!! Has her hair, personality, and 99.9% of the time chemo does not make her terribly ill like you think chemo does! Paul and I just lost a little sanity, but gained SO much more along the way. We are talking about what plans will be when she is done treatment-we have not been able to barely PLAN anything since this started. Plans like....
school?!, work?!,Sunday school every week w/out question?!; normal old fashioned planning!!!
ANC=1480
platelets=207,000
hemoglobin=11.5
We have been meeting many people just finishing up treatment and so I am getting more antsy for her to kick butt and be done!:) When her port is out and counts are consistantly up-I am going to let her play in the dirt barefoot!!!!! Better yet, or maybe stupidly-we are going to McDonalds on the weekend-or maybe Chuck E. Cheeses!!!!!!!
Haley finally went to the potty today-I hope it is not a one time thing-she is too funny!

Doing a 1/2 marathon in the am-if I make it in good time I will do the whole marathon in Disney-if not, I will back down to the 1/2 marathon in Disney-I am behind on training but still plan on doing 26.2! Paul surprised me w/ a double jogging stroller this week for my Christmas present-early!!!!I am so excited about this-I have been pushing the double stroller (85-90 lbs w/ kids)3-5 miles-ouch.
C'mon friends and family-Help by supporting me in Team in Traing to reach my goal b/f Dec. 8th!!! Got $1000 more to go to reach goal-please help by donating to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in Ashton's honor and other people and children's honor or memory. For info where to mail donation-please sign guestbook w/ your info so I can send you a SASE. Or call me!
Hoping and praying some smart researcher out there will find a cure-ask God to guide them!
thanks from our hearts for your care and love and support-Gos has truly blessed us with you!
Lori

PS; Annies Flowers and Scents has a new aroma: Ashton Elizabeth's Excellent Apple Spice-smells awesome and holiday-ish:)
www.anniesflowersandscents.com
Great Christmas gifts!

Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 11:10 PM (CST)

Hi-all! I MISS my PC so much and that is so sad,huh?!
Working a bit more to make extra bucks for Christmas and the marathon and getting that PC fixed!
Ashton is doing well with exception of another sinus infection and some wheezing last week. Started her on nebulizer treatments-and now Haley is on them too. X-rays showed that Ashton has a sinus infection and she is on Amoxicillin-was on Omnicef for 2 and 1/2 weeks. She is going to be immune to all this stuff by the time she is done with treatment!
Her counts have been great-but higher then 2000 for 3 weeks now, so the onc increased her chemo again-20mg Im methotrexate-up 2x this year-she is growing like a weed though! She is 42 pounds and 41 and 3/4 inches tall. In March she had just hit 40 inches!
ANC=3210
Platelets=302,000
WBC=4.7
Hemoglobin=11.4
She will be 5 in a few weeks-AAAHHH!!!
She will be dancing at Christmas in the Oaks-or whatever they call it now- on December 13, 2002 w/ her dance class and is looking forward to it.
Paul's dad is hanging in there and will start chemo after Thanksgiving. My brother, Rick , is at bootcamp for the Navy right now, so keep him in your prayers,too.
My dad is selling his house and may come to stay with us for a while until he gets back on his feet:/ Kind of mixed feelings about this. Love him but don't know how this will work out-but I'd never turn him away from a place to live. he cannot get an apartment right away and we will have him watch the kids so we can get out more often!!!! He is working at the airport for TSA.
My whole family is falling apart it seems, but I feel SO blessed that Ashton is kicking butt!!! God is surely with her and Paul, Haley and I. I cannot look away from the peace we can have from Him.
Please keep your prayers up for her healing and we could not be in our right minds without our family and friends-we appreciate your prayers and love and support-Lori

P.S. Marathon training is going well. Of all the things to hurt, my shoulders give me the most pain! My feet and legs are fine! Up to about 8 miles-kind'a behind, but will catch up-gonna' do 26.2 for my baby!!!

Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 11:10 PM (CST)

Friday, October 18, 2002 at 04:51 PM (CDT)

hey all! My cpmputer has crashed so I am at Scotty's PC(brother in law). i don't know when we will have the hard drive fixed -but hopefully soon. I feel unconnected to so many people-isn'nt that a shame?!
Ashton's counts were great:
ANC=1430
Hemoglobin=12.2
WBC=3.8?ish
Platelets=238,000
She did have some nausea this past Sunday during Haley's 3rd b-day party. She got sick from chemo for the 1st time in over 2 years. She had no other symptoms.Docs think it's due to LP on previous Friday-last one too!
Bad news this week-heartbreaking really. Paul's dad has cancer in both lungs and in his hip joint. Pretty fast, pretty bad. Doc says there is no cure, just radiation and narcotics to comfort him and chemo is next step to slow it down. I beleive and have hope for him-docs gave no "time" for prognosis b/c he said he believes only one "person" knows that and he ain't Him! i liked the sound of this onc.
He is at E.J.
Keep Paul, Scotty, kenny and especially Mrs Bobbie and him in your prayers-for strength and hope!
I am going to stop here as i am sitting for Julie's baby girl, Gabrielle-she is an angel!
Gotta go!
Lori

Friday, October 04, 2002 at 11:35 PM (CDT)

HI!
Ashton's counts were beautiful today:
WBC=2.4
Platelets=339,000
Hemoglobin=11.8
ANC=1300
We thought they would go down, but I guess they are from how high they were a few weeks ago. She is kicking butt!!!!
We feel sooooo blessed she is doing so well and truthfully believe God is healing her perfectly.
We were going to skip Jazzland tomorrow b/c of low counts, but I think we will get up and go have fun. Paulhas been off this week and it has been relaxing and wonderful. My house has been neat for a week with 2 of us doing the work-so nice to relax at the end of the day-actually relax. I always feel there is so much more to do. I also think a lot of it has to do with walking for my marathon training. I am feeling more relaxed and sleep so much better since starting back walking. Paul and I actually went out on a date for the first time in months this week! Our 9 year anniversary was 10/2. WOW! Lots of rollercoaster hills , but all together, it's been great.
I will be walking 6 miles this weekend and 13 in 2 weeks. I walked a lot this past week-even right after Hurricane Lili passed, I walked 4 miles. Only bad thing is that I am MORE hungry and not losing weight like I thought I would. I come back from exersize starving for real food-not snacks or fruit, or just water!
Haley will be 3 on 10/13! I cannot believe it-3! She is a joy and a ham and gives us a run for our money. She is truly Paul's child:):):) She loves dancing and every morning asks when we will go back to Disney World-every morning! We went about 7 months ago. Whoever says a 2 year old is too young for Disney needs to meet Haley Catherine:)
Ashton will have her last Spinal tap with chemo next Friday morning at 8:45am. She is excited and already is asking if she can eat breakfast the morning of-which is a big NOPE-but she will celebrate with pizza upon waking from her beloved "happy medicine"-versed!
Please keep happy healing clear and negative thoughts in your prayers for her spinal tap!
Here is to healing our kids and our lives-have a blessed wonderful week!
Love, Lori

Friday, September 27, 2002 at 06:01 PM (CDT)

Ashton's counts are going down as scheduled...
WBC=4.01
ANC=1200
Platelets=350,000
Hemoglobin=11.0
YAY! If they stabilize in the next weks below 2500, they will not increase chemo-, but if they stabilize higher, they will increase chemo again! It was increased about 4-5 months ago.
Her cold is going away, hopfully and she is playing with her sister and 3 sisters from down the street-I have 5 girls in my house right now and I doing this!!!! They are having fun though.
Isidore was no big deal, our lights did not even go out! just a lot of rain for 2 days.
Thanks for your prayers and keep them up for stabilized counts soon!
By the way, my friend Stephanie has a younger brother that was dx'd with Hodgkins Disease this past week. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. It is curable according to Steph-I don't know much about it, but I will be finding out these things soon. I know he will at least have to do radiation , possibly chemo. he has a wife and school aged daughter.
Thanks-Lori

Saturday, September 21, 2002 at 01:29 PM (CDT)

well the Light the night was last night and it was fun! Ashton did not feel so good due to her LAST IV vincristin!
Her counts were super high and the nurse made me nervous b/c she asked id AShton was fighting some infection b/c her WBC count was so high the past 2 weeks-I do not know, but i fighting not to worry...
WBC=10.8 (or 10.3-don't have parer in front of me)
ANC=9400!!!!
Hemoglobin=12.2
platelets=313,000
Good for us and steroids make them high, but thet like the WBC around 2-6-ish, and ANC b/t 500-2000
They may increase chemo again if her counts aren't stabilizing lower in the next 2-3 weeks. Usually, her counts plummet after a week of steroids are out of her system(if ever:))
I am actually hoping for a nice proportionate drop in counts, so no increase in chemo! Pray for her WBC to come down to what is healthy for her in her healing!
Gotta' walk 4 miles at 6am tomorrow am-Sunday- and then go help teach Sunday School in AShton's class. I will be pooped by afternoon!
Pray for God to lead someone to a cure!
Lori

Sunday, September 15, 2002 at 12:55 AM (CDT)

Hi-Ashton's counts were high and I was worried, but I am sick of worrying about what I cannot help. It is all in God's hands and she is healed/healing!
ANC=7000
WBC=8.9
Platelets=242,000
Hemoglobin=12.3
LAST pulse of Vincristin and steroids. KICKED IN today!
Eating a lot and not feeling well. Leg pain due to vincristin. Moodyness will be here soon!
Going to Sunday school due to such high counts but wonder if she'll last b/c of the meds. BUT , we are excited that this is IT on the steroids and vincristin! PARTY! GOD is GOOD! Never though this day would be here. Next Thursday night will be her last dose od decadron and Friday will be her last IV puush if vincristin-in her port.
I believe on October 11, she will have her last spinal tap with chemo!
Then all it is is her weekly methotrexate shots and nightly 6MP pills until March-then she will be finished chemo. YAY!
Today-9/15/02-is 2 years since diagnosis and I will NEVER forget it-we have had so much support and love from all our friends and family. I will never forget those who were there the day she was diagnosed and those who visited in the first months of inpatient chemo. It was SO HARD and your love was SO needed by Paul and I-and Ashton, too. People being there kept my mind focused on the good and when you were gone, my mind went off in directions I couldn't deal with. You all kept me and Paul sane. Being that our worst nightmare had come true, our expectations of the whole thing could get really bad. We were breathless and had blind fear. You brought God and his peace(as much as we could get at the time) right there. I went to pray in the chapel every morning so i could experience "Ashton" since she was so not herself for so long and it was heartbreaking, but I saw "her" for a few minutes every day and that was a gift from God-'cause only He knew. That got me and Paul through the first 2 months or so-seeing her and seeing you.
September 15 is for me,much like September 11th is for many out there, including me. Those 2 days remind me of that blind fear we had-same feeling, but 1 much more personal. Same breathlessness.
Here is a poem I wrote for Ashton on 9/30/00-during induction at Children's:

"my heart aches at your every tear
My body numbs at your every pain
I fill with fear with every dose
I fill with hope that it does the job
My heart leaps when I see YOU
My body lightens to see you smile
I fill with love when I'm with you
I fill with joy when you laugh
Right now those times come and go quick
It will get better as time goes by
Only God knows why you are filled with this cancer
I guess, with prayer, we will know the answer
So, I ask of HIM to give my baby strength
And, me too, to go the length
Wuth her by my side my heart is so full
If He wants her back, it's because she is SO beautiful
But I ask not only for strength,
I ask to keep her
So she will be HOPE for others
For all the sick babies
their daddies and mothers."

Prayers are needed for healthy counts in the next weeks=
Lori

Monday, September 09, 2002 at 09:22 PM (CDT)

Hi!
AShton's counts were even more super this week:
WBC=4.7-ish
Hemoglobin=13.8
Platelets=292,000
ANC=2210
She is doing great but still has that dry cough. Congestion is gone. I guess allergies are causing it, but it drives me crazy!
She has had a dry cough for 2-3 months but the docs don't seem too concerned about it. Kind of makes me mad. I feel as though since Ashton is getting to the end of treatment, the oncology office often now refers her to her regular pediatrician. I LOVE her pediatrician-but they don't act so quick b/c they need to make sure that any drug or treatment they prescribe os okay w/ her onc. AShton will be SO immune to antibiotics by the end of this -especially Bactrim-she has taken this for 2 years so far, 3x a week and I give it to her more often if I suspect she is coming down w/ something. The onc's office waits until fever comes to do anything about any symptoms hse gets. Another reason I love her Pediatrician-they do not wait until it gets worse;they act more quickly for her.
AShton and Haley started dancing class today and looked SO cute and did SO well. Haley was a different child-she LISTENED and DID what the teacher told her. She DID find a partner in crime though-her and another little girl got fussed at a couple times for wandering off instead of sitting when they were told. They followed each other-and Haley started it, but the other little girl ran off first more often after that0-Haley followed her,then. AShton did very well and listned great! She did what she was told and made some friends! Non-cancer friends. Nothing against her MANY cancer friends, but we felt she neede some non-cancer friends too! There is SO much more to life than cancer. We need to go there:)
I started training for the LLS marathon in Disney on 1/12/03. OUr first Team in Training walk/run was Sunday am at 6:30! yuck
But it went well and we walked 3.2 miles in an hour. We have to improve our speed, but I guess that will come with time. I just need to get mileage for now. I am SO out of shape. I was thinking on the treadmill when I was huffing and puffing at 1 and 1/2 miles that I had to do 25 more of these in 4 months-AAAAHHHH!!! But the 3.2 was not bad-and thank God for mentors and the teammates, bc/ you had someone to talk to. I caanot wait until January! I will walk in the last 1/2 mile or so with my honored patient-AShton! I will probably cry the whole way!
Please pray for us to have an event-free winter as far as fever goes. And IF she gets fever, please pray for accompanied symptoms of a viral or bacterial infection that is treatable! I hope I covered everything in that category. I know fevers will happen, but when she had no signs or symptoms, just fever abd low blood counts-it was almost as bad as when she was first dx'd, especially when her spleen got big-2x! Please just PRAY for us to have a smooth last 6 months of treatment and beyond!-Thank you soooo much-Lori

Tuesday, September 03, 2002 at 11:21 AM (CDT)

Hey! Today is the first day I started home school this year. I hope I can teach them well, especially Ashton since she will be in Kindergarten next year and her birthday is late-December 1st.
Lat Friday her counts were great! Even though she has allergies or a cold (as does Haley and me), her counts were much higher than expected.
ANC=2110
Hemoglobin=12.8
Platelets=251,000
WBC=3.8? I beleive.

Ashton starts the Cherub choir at St. Timothy UMC this week and both girls are starting dancing next week. They are very excited about this.

I am doing the Disney marathon in January, 2003, for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I want to raise at least $3400. They pay your way and hotel and even train you with a professional trainer and you raise money for them. If you are interested in doing a marathon (walking or running) or interested in donating, e-,mail me and I will get you info about it! I am walking in honor of Ashton, of course, and in honor of the kids we personnally know fighting leukemia or lymphoma. I am walking in memory of a few too; one whom I just had the pleasure of meeting his family members, lost his battle with Burkitt's lymphoma only after 5 weeks of being diagnosed. He was 10 years old, and a blonde headed beautiful boy. I will walk in memory of my grammy, Clementine Elizabeth Songy, who died of leukemia in 1985, and whom Ashton's middle name comes from.

Well, gotta' go pick up some donations from St. Tammany Heart Center! They have been very generous-Thanks!

Happy school year! Hope all stay well. Pray for Ashton and Haley's health this winter, I am a bit nervous about it:)
Lori

Sunday, August 25, 2002 at 12:25 PM (CDT)

Hi! AShton's counts were about the same this week as they were last, except for H and H;
ANC=1320
WBC=2.7
Platelets=227,000
Hemoglobin=11.6
All is going well in Webre-land! Ashton and Haley are signed up for dancing and Ashton wants to sing in our churches Cherub choir, so she was signed up for that today.
School starts for Ashton and a mini pre-school program for Haley, when her attention is mine(hardly ever!) all on Sept 3,2002. I am looking forward to it, b/c it will help organize my life a bit better. It has been chaotic. My dad is moving, 2 funerals w/in 1 week(Meow and Bill's mom), wild kids swimming and running:):):)
Kaitlin is doing well, her tumor is a tiny bit smaller, not much though, so they are going to do different chemo and maybe in higher doses-so pray for her, please. Ashton is more confused about Kait than Kaki's death. Why did hers come back and is hers? She believes it is not and that Jesus healed her and we are thankful for that. But from her play therapist, it is a question in my 4 year olds mind.
Pray for her healing and for a cure for all cancers!
Lori

Saturday, August 17, 2002 at 11:38 PM (CDT)

Hey-Counts are:
ANC=1270
Hemoglobin=15.9!!
Platelets=177,000
WBC=2.8
Atypical lymphs again=6%
I really hate those, but doc not worried-okay:)
God is healing her , so i am not going to let myself worry over it either. Platelets down from last week and Hemoglobin is HIGH!!!!!
Pensacola was so much fun and Ashton cried when we left b/c she wanted to play with her cousins-but Victoria started school and had to go back-so all the girls were probably bummed. The beach was GORGEOUS! I wish I could live there. We did not want to leave. Went with Paul's family-Maria, Kenny, Marcel and Bobbie, Holly and Chris live there with their 2 girls. So we missed Scotty.
I am walking the Disney Marathon for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society on January 12, 2003- I am nervous about raising the money and excited about doing a marathon!
Please continue to keep Ashton in your prayers for healing. God is on this journey with us, we know. he has given us strength and hope!
Please also keep my uncle, who was just diagnosed w/ Prostate cancer , in your prayers. He has surgery on September 6. I do not know details. This is one of my dad's brothers, the youngest.
Hope you had a great summer and for those with kids heading back to school-good luck for a smooth year!
Lori

Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 11:27 PM (CDT)

WEEK 100!
YAY!
Ashton's bruises have pretty much gone away and her counts were great!
ANC=1810
WBC=4.2?
Platelets=250,000
Hemoblobin=12.6!!!
atypical lymphs=7% , I hate these, but they do not mean much to the onc-thank God. They usually come out when she is recovering from an infection.
Her x-rays she had on Monday showed stuff in her lungs(she has had a cough for a while-on and off) but they did not hear anything. It also showed a big spleen and heart-so what did this mommy/echo tech do? Gave her an echo-which was FINE! I can tell you that from my experience, when an x-ray says enlarged heart, it usually is fine. In fact, I have never seen an enlarged heart that was dx's by x ray.And I have seen many BIG hearts. And her spleen is fine, for her.
She is doing AWESOME and we are heading for Pensacola this weekend to see the cousins! Her and Haley are looking so forward to it!
We heard a miracle happened -I met a mom at clinic who had lost her husband to cancer, but eventually got remarried and had a son, who is now 2. The son, Connor was dx'd with Rhabdomysarcoma in his pelvic region-a tumore, the same kind in the same area as our friend Kaitlin. What a nightmare for this mom! They were in the hospital a couple weeks ago getting his chemo and he developed a fever after chemo. The docs thought he may have pneumonia and did a CT scan of his chest and told his parents that the cancer had spread-so they did a biopsy and it was negative, Thank God! So the onc ordered a CT scan of his pelvic region to see if the tumore was getting bigger/smaller,etc... and the results were amazing-IT WAS GONE COMPLETELY!!! He was dx's in June, has been through a couple inpatient treatments, and some outpatient-and it is gone already! That is a miracle! They were planning on surgery , like Kaitlin had, and now there is nothing to take out! YAY!
Hope all is well-keep up your prayers-they WORK!
Lori

Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 12:04 AM (CDT)

Well, After a very anxious week for me ( I guess I am the major "worrier" in the family) Ashton's counts are great-again!!!
WBC=3.8
Platelets=205,000
Hemoglobin=11.9
ANC=2380
This past week she had leg pain, but this is not new-she has been having it a few times per week for the past year and a half-but it was a different times this week, and she had shoulder pain, and many bruises. And b/c of this I was a little off my rocker and so was she:) So I prayed and tried not to worry, but it just comes naturally! God does not want us to worry, but I suck at not worrying-hope this is not in appropriate:) Anyway-things are good and we are planning a weekend in Pensacola next weekend to go visit the girls' cousins, Victoria and Alexandra-the girls are soooo excited!
So ,I am on full alert for any signs of infection and will immediately go to our pediatrician who agrees that she would be a nut too, if she were going through this. I LOVE her.
Ashton and Haley are doing well-Haley is soooo 2 years old-coloring on everything not in my exact line of sight, including the floor, with her Nana's deodorant:O
Ashton is a little fish and has learned to hold her breath and "swim" a bit with her very necessary goggles. Even in the bath tub. I am now starting to organize the home-school thing for her and Haley and will start September 1.
Paul's dad is doing great-getting used to the urostomy, and Kaitlin will have a CT scan in 2-3 weeks-not soon enough!
Gabi, my God child, does NOT have Hirschprungs nor Colitis-she just has a milk protien allergy and may never tolerate milk-not too bad of a thing:) Poor baby had a hard time in Children's for a week-it was a bad week for all of us. She bled a little and so we were there waiting-what is new?- for counts (hematocrit and hemoglobin) to rise. And they did-thank God again!
Thanks for the sign-ins and prayers-He is the ultimate healer!

Friday, July 26, 2002 at 06:00 PM (CDT)

Hi all! Ashton had clinic today and her counts were great!
ANC=2900
Platelets=192,000
WBC=4.2
Hemoglobin=11.9
Platelets made me a little nervous b/c they were higher last week and even higher than that 2 weeks ago-I do not like a downslide of counts, but since all of her other counts were higher, I felt better and the onc is not concerned at all. Her spinal tap was a non existent issue, so no news is good news as usual, although next week I will ask for the "negative" to come out of her mouth. I love that word when it comes to testing!
Kaitlin is in the hospital recieving chemo and will have another CT scan in 3 weeks.
Gabrielle is doing fine although we had a scare th9s week in the hospital with her H&H counts-kind'a low but not detrimental. She was discharged today, after lots of confusion and will go back to her ped. on Monday for follow up-it is not looking like Hirshprungs-definite colitis, though-so she is on special formula called Neo-cate-very expensive.
Ashton is having allergies again so please keep her health and overall healing in your prayers.
She went to see a play therapist this past week for the 1st time and took to her immediately!
Love to all-Lori

Friday, July 19, 2002 at 09:58 PM (CDT)

Hey, all! Thanks for the prayers! Her spinal tap went well except for low blood sugar of 33! Normal is 80-100-which I learned today. It was scary b/c she was lethargic and it reminded me of b/ diagnosis.they gave her glucose water in her IV and O.J. after she woke up and it was elevated to 123 after the procedure. Her counts were good:
WBC=3.0
Hemo= 11.5
Platelets=216,000
ANC=1980
No new is good news for us when it comes to the spinal taps. She got her Methotrexate in her spinal fluid and in her leg.
It was a crazy day! I have not slept well in 2 nights and woke up to find we locked the keys in the car-so then Haley missed out on going to Granny and Gramps (and I had her all day w/out my mom for help b/c she is sick) It was rough b/c of Ashton having the LP, but worked out due to Gabrielle being at Children's for a procedure too. My infant Godchild was supposed to have a biopsy of her colon to check for a disease called Hirschprungs disease-dilated colon that collects days of poop and needs surgical fixing. w4ell, she wind up not having the ptocedure b/c of her Hematocrit being low and she has to go to a Hematologist! It makes me sick to my stomach that Julie has to even bring her to the oncology clinic to see one of Ashton's docs. IU know it will be nothing, but Julie HAS to be feeling scared after seeing all we have been through. Monday is Gabrielle's appointment. When she is cleared by the hem/onc, she can have the procedure.
Kaitlin had her CT scan today and it shrunk a bit but not enough, so 1 more round of chemo and another Ct scan-then surgery at MD Anderson.

Will update next Friday!

Friday, July 12, 2002 at 06:57 PM (CDT)

Hey ALL! Ashton is doing great. Her counts were:
WBC=3.5 -ish
platelets=244,000
hemoglobin=11.4
ANC=1280-not as high as we hoped, but okay!
Please keep her in your prayers as she is having a spinal tap and chemo put in her spinal fluid next week. This is her second to last one!!!!!!! Thank you God-the end of treatment is near! Only 34 more treatments, 2 spinal taps, 1 bone marrow aspiration, and one more boost of steroids and vincristin.
Tomorrow is my new niece's christening-Gabrielle Grace! and we were hoping that Ashton's counts would have been higher b/c we having about 25 people over for a party afterward. i like a little insurance of higher counts, but she will have fun and we will just be careful and make sure hands are washed and she is not in anyone's face, or them in hers!
I feel sooooo blessed though.
Kaitlin is doing well , and her tumor is almost non-existent. She will have a CT scan next week to tell if it is small enough for surgery-or God-willing-truly non-existent! we are praying for big miracles for these kids. I definitely believe in them! If it is small enough to do surgery, or non-existent, she will head back to MD Anderson for surgery and reconstruction and further instruction on to what would be next-chemo again, radiation again, or surgery and then she is home-free!
Ashton experienced the death of a friend this past week, it was bad. She overheard Paul and I, maybe, or me and my mom, I do not know-but I read her a book I found then calmed her questions by telling her. his family was of lots of faith-he had bone cancer-he was 14 years old. It has been a rough week.
But her questions have subsided for the most part. She had freaked out over death and going to heaven for about 2 months now. Kaki went to Jesus about 3 weeks ago. I wish she did not have to experience this so young. She is very aware of things around her.
we are doing well, Haley is VERY 2! Thanks for your continuing prayers and pray for a clear spinal tap and good counts!

Friday, July 05, 2002 at 11:32 PM (CDT)

Hey, all! Thanks for all the nice messages in the guest book.
Ashton had clinic today and her counts were great!
WBC=3.7
Hem=11.7
platelets=234,000
ANC=1800
She is well except started a cough today-she says it is allergies:)
She is freaking out about death lately-a fish that died almost a year ago that has been replaced, and a burial, and a prayer, has just been cried over. Trying to deal with this issue esp. since it is more common for her to deal with it knowing all these special kids-but it breaks our hearts to deal with it.
I am going to treat this journal like the one I have for her in a notebook 'cause I am sick of writing in it. I have it for our future-to read and look back like this was just a big bump in the road and we got over it. We beat it! She is a testimonial of God's love and graces and healing power.
Haley had some gross Hand-Foot-Mouth disease this past week-yuck! Kaitlin seems to be doing well. She is completely bald again and I hate seeing her like that again, but I have faith she will beat it , too!
I feel so blessed to have my friends and family and a web site called ALL-KIDS-for support, and even more blessed to have Ashton, Haley and Paul.
Dr. Gardner said today that Ashton has a spinal tap in 2 weeks and this is her second to last one! So 2 more of those, 1 more bone marrow aspiration, and 1 more boost of steroids and vincristin!!!!!!!!! 35 more shots of methotrexate!!!!
Out of 130 weeks total in her protocol, she has 35 left! YAY!
Thanks for reading!!:)-Lori-mom to Ashton and Haley

Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 10:12 PM (CDT)

Ashton was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia on September 15, 2000. She was not quite 3 years old-her birthday is December 1. 1997.
She is considered low-risk because of her age, gender, and the fact the her leulemia showed that she had a chromosomal abnormality-trisomy 4/10, which just means that the leukemia cells had 2 parts with 3 chromosomes rather than a pair, like normal. For some reason I am trying to understand, this is in her favor-Thank God.
She went through 30 days of induction, most which was spent in the hospital, 6 months of consolidation-3-4 days every 3 weeks of inpatient chemo, and finally, long term maintenance-which lasts for 2 years of weekly outpatient blood work and chemo shots and nightly chemo pills.
She has done very well and we know that God has blessed us.
We went on her "wish trip" this past March to Disney World at Give Kids the World-a WONDERFUL place!
I am going to try to put some pictures on this sight soon.

Sunday, June 30, 2002 at 09:47 PM (CDT)

This page has just been created. Please check back for additional updates.

Ashton has great counts as of 6/28/02. Her and her little sister Haley played in the kiddie pool all weekend and AShton enjoyed Sunday school for the first time in a month!

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