History

Thursday, January 24, 2008 3:36 PM CST

Well in my last entry I said I would share with you some of what I have gone through since losing Alex or maybe even more importantly how my outlook has changed in so many areas of my life. Those areas being, but not limited to, what I see as the important things in this life, my thoughts on God and who He is and how He works, how things people say effect me and other areas I am just drawing a blank on right now.

I am going to be writting from my heart being very open and transparent. Some things I say may surprise you, some things you may agree with and some you may disagree with. Some of you may come away from this inspired and some may come away a little confused. I hope that whatever you feel when reading this that my comments will give you reason to pause and think deeply about how you feel.

Those of you that know me well know how much we were trusting God to heal Alex from this horrible disease. You know that I was an active member in my church and if you asked me I would tell you that we were a Christian family.

During Alex's illness I have to say that I felt God's presence with us the whole time until about a week before he died. During that last week it felt like God had left the scene and was nowhere to be found. I felt no hope and felt as if I had been gutted. While walking through the airport in Durham after Alex's death, I felt people looking at me and even saw people looking at me and by the looks on their faces you could see they knew something was wrong. I felt like the walking dead. I was completely empty and void of any life. Everything I had been taught about God being the great comforter and that turning to his word was a must in a time like this was absolutely no help me at at all.

Over the next few days we were surrounded and propped up by friends and family as we planned Alex's funeral. In the days after the funeral family and friends had to get back to their daily routines and we suddenly found ourselves alone. Alone with ourselves, our thoughts, our questions, our doubts, our fears and our overwhelming grief.

Grief that kicks your ass, grief that sickens you, grief that consumes you and after days and weeks of this grief, you decide perhaps you need to go back to church because after all that is where the healing takes place right? RIGHT???

I remember the first church service I went to after we lost Alex, the worship team started off singing "Our God is an Awesome God" and I thought, "you can't be talking about the same God I've been dealing with over the last few weeks because the God I've been dealing with cut and ran out on me when I needed Him most." At that moment, I don't remember another thing about that service.Over the next several weeks I went to church looking for answers but came away more pissed off than anything else.

One day I came home after being away for several hours to find that the toilet had over flowed and the valve had stuck open causing the toilet to just spill out onto the floor for hours. Water had gone out into the hall and soaked all of the carpet and left a terrible mess. I remember looking up to heaven and yelling at God "Can't you stop anything bad from happening?" It was then that I began to give up on God and over the next couple of months I came to the conclusion that God didn't exist and that I had wasted my entire life on Him.

It was over the next few months that I discovered that even though I had given up on God, He apparently had not given up on me.

TO BE CONTINUED

Monday, December 10, 2007 4:34 PM CST

It's been a long time since I last journaled here, mainly because I didn't feel I had anything to add or update to the site.

But I feel that I was wrong. So many of you have been a part of Alex's journey as well as the journey that Mary, Taylor and I have had to continue without him and it's only fair that I continue to allow you to be a part of our journey as so many have asked.

We still miss Alex everyday to the extent that I can not explain, but life has a way of continuing regardless of the loss and pain.

Over the next few weeks I would like to try and let you in on the road we have traveled and the lessons we have learned.

In the meantime, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Kell Johnson

Thursday, April 12, 2007 5:05 PM CDT

Three years.

It's very difficult to believe that April 1st marked three years since we lost our precious Alex. I awoke early that morning around 3:00 a.m. and the realization of our loss was the first thing on my mind, as a matter of fact it was the only thing on my mind. The truth of the matter is that I never start a day without the awful knowing that the most horrible of events had become a reality.

The first words out of my mouth came in a whisper that I believe instantly reached Heaven. "Alex, I miss you so very much and I love you more than I can express." I close my eyes and then the next thing I know the sun is just starting to rise.

I was never crazy about getting up before the sun came up or even watching the sun rise, but since Alex's death, watching the sunrise has become a symbol of hope to me. I was wondering how I would get through this day, I felt a deep need to connect with Alex on this day. As sure as the sun rose I was inspired to spend the day photographing things that caught my eye so I started with Alex’s garden in front of our house. Alex’s garden by the way is a little garden of flowers and plants that we plant every spring specifically for Alex.

Anyway I started there and as the day wore on I photographed trees and flowers in other parts of the city. While in the woods taking pictures I suddenly realized that while Alex was in the hospital, he took up photography as a therapy. He really liked it and he was actually pretty good at it. I also realized I was in the wood which was a place that Alex loved to be, so that connection that I was hoping for had been realized. I felt as if my spirit was embracing Alex’s spirit and in some way I knew he heard and understood my whispers from 3:00 a.m.

The picture above if from Alex’s garden.

Kell

Friday, December 1, 2006 1:08 PM CST

I haven't updated this website since June and I don't really know if many people visit it anymore, but I felt like it needed to be updated anyway.

Although I felt the site needed to be updated, I struggled with what to write. I wondered what I could write that would make a difference, what would have any special meaning at this point, to that question I'm not sure I have a good answer. So I've decided to just express my feelings.

I miss Alex as much today as I ever have. I wonder what I could have done different to help him or if there was anything at all that could have been done. All I know is that my heart is still broken over his loss.

When I would come home from work, Alex would hear my car door close and greet me at the door with a big smile a "Hey Dad" and a hug. I ache to experience that again.

About four weeks ago, Mary and I went on a camping trip with three other families in total I believe we had about 10 kids on the trip. It was a wonderful trip, but I was constantly reminded of how he so loved camping with family and friends and it was tough not having him there to share it with us.

We can’t go to or watch a sporting event, especially an LSU football game without thinking of him and missing him. Even so we watch anyway almost as if in some small way we honor him by watching because it was something he loved and something we did as a family.

Although I look to the future and enjoy my life with Mary and Taylor, I feel as if a large part of my life is being lived in the past, because it’s in the past that my memories of Alex are stored. I try to think upon Alex’s Heavenly existence and the day that I will be re-united with him, but I’m not sure I know how that will look and no one else for that matter does either.

Because this world is the only thing I know, I try to imagine this world in a perfect state and that’s what I think Heaven must be. When God first created this world and everything in it, He said that it was good and I find his craftsmanship quite amazing myself.

A couple of weeks ago in church a pastor said that it “wasn’t the things in the Bible that are hard to understand that gives us the most trouble, but it’s the things in the Bible that are easy to understand that give us the most trouble.” like “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” or for me “Be quiet and know that I Am God”. As I have attempted to be quiet I have chosen to do so outdoors in God’s creation where I can experience His handiwork first hand, and if I am still and observe, I believe I hear from God in some way.

I am learning that love, joy and grief come as a package deal. When I think of the love I still carry in my heart for Alex, I am grieved that he is not here for me to express that to him. When I am grieved by the loss of Alex, it is a direct reflection of the love that I have for him and the joy that he and his memory have brought me.

He has brought me so much joy. I have been truly blessed to have had the privilege of being his dad.

Kell

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:52 AM CDT

This coming Thursday, June 29th will be Alex's 13th birthday. I don't know if birthdays are a big deal in Heaven, but for now, birthdays are a big deal for us.

For a long time, I would become very sad not only because of the absence of Alex, but because I felt like he was missing out on life and all it had to offer.

It's been slow in coming, but I'm beginning to really understand the truth that Alex is more alive today than any of us that he left behind.

When I think of Alex, I don't think of him in a white steril environment in the clouds, I see him exploring the universe, running through lush valleys and climbing the highest mountains and riding the winds back down to the valley floor. I see him walking with God through the Kingdom that God has created us for and drinking it all in and being filled with joy.

I'm not sad for Alex, I'm sad that I can't be there with him right now. For now, I will enjoy the blessings of being married to Mary and being the father of Taylor and look forward to the time that we are re-united with Alex in God's Eternal Home.

The picture on this page was taken at Minute Maid Park on a trip we made for Alex's ninth birthday. He wanted to go see the Astros play so Mary, Taylor, Alex and I made a long weekend out of it. It was a great trip.

Think of Alex on June 29th and if you want, post something here on his website, we would be glad to hear from you.

Kell

Monday, April 3, 2006 9:37 AM CDT

As many of you know, this past Saturday April 1st made two years since we lost Alex. I can't say that it was any better or any worse than any other day has been. Mary, Taylor and I wake up with the realization that Alex is gone everyday. It never goes away. Friday March 31st was Taylor's 18th birthday and Mary and I celebrated with him with presents and a special dinner. We then celebrated with friends and family yesterday with a party here at our home. It was a good time for all. We are just trying to live life one day at a time. Today is all we have. With this I wanted to share with you something a friend sent to Mary, it really speaks volumes.

Kell

"Get Me Yesterday"

"This is the day the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Psalm 118:24 (NLT)

The first episode of "8 Simple Rules" after John Ritter died a couple of years ago was an hour-long special. It began with the Hennessy family learning of the unexpected death of Paul (Ritter), and followed Cate and the kids as they each struggled to deal with the loss in their own ways. To help console the family, Cate's parents put aside their marital differences and came to be with the family in their time of need.

Soon after arriving, Cate's mother and father were arguing over sugar
substitutes and who would get it from the kitchen. Finally Cate's
mother stopped and confessed how trivial they were being. She acknowledged the enormity of Cate's pain, and then volunteered to get the sweetener herself. As she walked away, she addressed Cate, "Honey, can I get you something?"

Cate paused for a moment, and then spoke. "Yeah. Get me yesterday."

How many of us, if granted a request, would join Cate in saying the same thing? "Get me yesterday...

When the one we loved was still here, when the kids were little, when
life was a little less complicated. "Get me yesterday...". When harmful
words could be unspoken, when choices could be altered, when opportunities could be recognized and seized. "Get me yesterday...".

The truth is, while we may long for yesterday or yearn for tomorrow, today is what matters.

Frederick Buechner writes in “Whistling in the Dark”: If you were aware how precious today is, you could hardly live through it. Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all... All other days have either disappeared into darkness and
oblivion or have not yet emerged from them.

Today is the only day there is.

God has given each of us the gift of today. May we choose to live it in His love and grace.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 9:19 AM CST

The following is an email from a friend of ours giving us an update on Nicolas. Rather than trying to relay the information in my own words, I have posted her email. Just to let you know Tim and Suzanne mentioned in the email are parents of Nicolas. If you are confused about this posting, refer to the "read journal history" page on this site to view the last journal. The following email also includes the link to a website started to keep us updated on Nicolas.

Kell

EMAIL:

Hi everyone,

I spoke with Tim last night. He stated that they tried to take Nic off the respirator yesterday, but had to put it back in later because Nic was getting aggitated and wanted to get up and leave. They want to keep him calm and still, so they will leave him on the respirator for a while longer.

They are giving him blood because he has become anemic, he is also on 3 different antibiotics to fight infection. He is scheduled for surgery on Tuesday, they will start skin grafting.

They don't think they will have to graft on his face. This is good. His ears are looking better and they might be able to save them.

Once he has the surgery, a family member will have to be with him 24/7. Suzanne's sisters have been in from out of town, but will be returning home today. Tim and the boys will be returning home this week. So I will probably be asking for those who are able to start preparing cassaroles and food that will be easy for them to just heat up and eat.

There will be a need for help with the boys, as Tim will be going back and forth to the hospital.

A website has been set up for updates and a place for everyone to post prayers and well wishes for Nic and the Whalen family. It is http://www.nicholasupdate.com/

Even with the inclement weather, the blood drive yesterday was a great success. If you didn't get a chance to donate yesterday but want to, there will be 3 others:

Monday, February 20th- Sam's Club off Siegen, 3pm - 8pm

Friday, February 24th- Bernhard Bros., Airline Hwy (between I-12 and Siegen) 6:30am - 12:30 pm

Wednesday, March 1st- Resource One Mortgage 7936 Office Park Blvd. 10am - 2pm

Tim stated that he and Suzanne are very grateful for the outpour of support they have received from family and friends.

While staying at the hospital with Nic, Tim and Suzanne have befriended a young man from Mexico whose brother was burnt badly in a car accident. He is here by himself, has no friends are family for a support system, so even in their time of need, Tim and Suzanne have invited him to their room and are helping this young man so he isn't alone.

Still working on getting details for the bank account information. Will forward that at a later time.

Please continue to pray for Nic and his family. Sherri

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 9:01 AM CST

We found out this morning that a little boy in our community was severely burned yesterday while burning trash in the backyard with his dad. The boys name is Nicolas and he is 10 years old, the same age as Alex. From what I hear Nicolas is burned from head to toe and may not make it.

Please be in prayer for this little boy that God would speak to his spirit and give him comfort and peace and that he would not be affraid and not feel alone.

Please pray for the parents of Nicolas to give them strength and help them deal appropriately with any guilt that they may feel. Pray that they will be able to understand all the information the doctors will be giving them and that they will be able to make good decissions concerning their son.

I will keep you updated as we get more information.

Kell, Mary, Taylor and Angel Alex

Thursday, December 29, 2005 7:30 AM CST

The above photo is one of my favorites. This was during a trip Mary, Taylor, Alex and I took to up state New York for a little skiing and playing in the snow. We stayed with Mary's cousin Peggy and had an opportunity to spend time with her and her family. This was a trip to remember with more snow than we had seen in our lives. It was Taylor, Alex and Mary's first time on skis and I have some great video to prove it.

Mary and I are so grateful that we spent so much time traveling and doing things with the boys, we would always talk about how we were making memories. I can't even tell you how important those memories are to all of us.

Thanks to all of you that continue to visit the website and post from time to time. We want to wish each and everyone of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Kell

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 12:46 AM CST

Well, this was our second Christmas without Alex and I have to say it hasn't been easy for Mary, Taylor and me.

Sure we've gotten good at putting on a smiley face and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, but inside you just want to get through the holidays in one piece.

We are thankful for the true Christmas celebration, that being the birth of Christ for it brings us hope that we will one day be re-united with Alex. The tough part is getting through the Christmas season watching others with their families all intact while you're certain that life for us will never ever be the same and that there will always be a vast emptiness that will never be filled. Sure in an effort to bring us comfort some would say, "Well, Alex is celebrating Christmas in Heaven with Jesus this year." Believe it or not, that doesn't bring much comfort, its way more complicated than that.

It’s very easy to celebrate Christmas when life is good. The kids are healthy, they’re in good schools and this year they have a couple of lines in the Christmas musical. Business is good and you just got that nice bonus so you can now book that trip to Europe like you had always dreamed of. Things just seem to go your way; you really are walking through green pastures with the sun over your shoulder. You must be thinking boy “Our God is an Awesome.”

I saw a story of a Christian family that had lost most all of their possessions during Hurricane Katrina and had been forced to move to Baton Rouge temporarily until they could sort things out. Both the husband and wife had lost their jobs, the kids were in new schools with strange surroundings. They were receiving assistance from others for their needs. The husband asked how life could ever be the same. How could they ever explain this to the kids and give them any sense of hope. Why had God allowed this to happen to them? God suddenly didn’t seem too Awesome in his life.

Honestly, if I had heard this man’s story before we lost Alex, I may have asked the same questions he was asking, but after losing Alex, his story sounds so trivial. I would trade places with him in a heartbeat. He may have lost his possessions and his job, but he had his wife and his two children with him and they were safe.

I would like to challenge you to spend some time thinking about how you would respond to God if all of a sudden your life took a turn for the worst. You lose that great job and you can’t seem to replace it. As a result you have to sell your house, take the kids out of private school and move to a much smaller house. College for the kids is now not as easy as you thought. Those green pastures have turned into a field of thickets and weeds and that sunshine over your shoulder is hidden by dark clouds. Now you learn that one of your children has been diagnosed with a horrible disease and may not live, or perhaps actually dies. If you’re like I was two years ago, you would dismiss this challenge and tell yourself, awe this will never happen to us, God will protect us from anything like that. God loves us, we are his special children.

Have you ever felt like God has turned His back on you and left you to fend for yourself. Have you ever questioned His existance and what comes after this life on earth is done.

For me it wasn’t until my worst nightmare came true that I began my desperate search for my true faith and my true God. I have been forced to search for who God really is and not who I want Him to be or who the popular belief says He is. I am no longer afraid to discover the one True God, but truly desire to know Him for who He is.

I urge you to spend some time with God asking Him to reveal His true identity to you. Be quiet and listen, sit still and observe, He will answer you in many different ways.

I would be interested in hearing what God is whispering to you.

Kell

(Searching desperately and learning from whispers)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 11:05 AM CST

Well, this was our second Christmas without Alex and I have to say it hasn't been easy for Mary, Taylor and me.

Sure we've gotten good at putting on a smiley face and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, but inside you just want to get through the holidays in one piece.

We are thankful for the true Christmas celebration, that being the birth of Christ for it brings us hope that we will one day be re-united with Alex. The tough part is getting through the Christmas season watching others with their families all intact while you're certain that life for us will never ever be the same and that there will always be a vast emptiness that will never be filled. Sure in an effort to bring us comfort some would say, "Well, Alex is celebrating Christmas in Heaven with Jesus this year." Believe it or not, that doesn't bring much comfort, its way more complicated than that.

It’s very easy to celebrate Christmas when life is good. The kids are healthy, they’re in good schools and this year they have a couple of lines in the Christmas musical. Business is good and you just got that nice bonus so you can now book that trip to Europe like you had always dreamed of. Things just seem to go your way; you really are walking through green pastures with the sun over your shoulder. You must be thinking boy “Our God is an Awesome.”

I saw a story of a Christian family that had lost most all of their possessions during Hurricane Katrina and had been forced to move to Baton Rouge temporarily until they could sort things out. Both the husband and wife had lost their jobs, the kids were in new schools with strange surroundings. They were receiving assistance from others for their needs. The husband asked how life could ever be the same. How could they ever explain this to the kids and give them any sense of hope. Why had God allowed this to happen to them? God suddenly didn’t seem too Awesome in his life.

Honestly, if I had heard this man’s story before we lost Alex, I may have asked the same questions he was asking, but after losing Alex, his story sounds so trivial. I would trade places with him in a heartbeat. He may have lost his possessions and his job, but he had his wife and his two children with him and they were safe.

I would like to challenge you to spend some time thinking about how you would respond to God if all of a sudden your life took a turn for the worst. You lose that great job and you can’t seem to replace it. As a result you have to sell your house, take the kids out of private school and move to a much smaller house. College for the kids is now not as easy as you thought. Those green pastures have turned into a field of thickets and weeds and that sunshine over your shoulder is hidden by dark clouds. Now you learn that one of your children has been diagnosed with a horrible disease and may not live, or perhaps actually dies. If you’re like I was two years ago, you would dismiss this challenge and tell yourself, awe this will never happen to us, God will protect us from anything like that. God loves us, we are his special children.

Have you ever felt like God has turned His back on you and left you to fend for yourself. Have you ever questioned His existance and what comes after this life on earth is done.

For me it wasn’t until my worst nightmare came true that I began my desperate search for my true faith and my true God. I have been forced to search for who God really is and not who I want Him to be or who the popular belief says He is. I am no longer afraid to discover the one True God, but truly desire to know Him for who He is.

Searching desperately and learning from whispers.

Kell

Thursday, December 15, 2005 1:15 PM CST

Monday, October 24, 2005 4:56 PM CDT

Alex would not be happy with his Astro's right now, he would want them to be ahead in the series. The photo above was taken at Minute Maid Park when we took Alex to see the Astros play for his 9th birthday. We all had a wonderful time on that trip.

Two years ago this past October 17th was when Alex was diagnosed with leukemia and all of our lives would change forever. I can't tell you how much I miss him. Living without him has been tough for all of us, but we continue to take one day at a time.

Please continue to pray for us as we continue to struggle with the loss of Alex.

Kell Johnson

Friday, September 16, 2005 2:51 PM CDT

Due to the devastating impact that Hurricane Katrina imposed, The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light the Night walk has been postponed. Plans are underway to re-schedule the Baton Rouge walk that was set for Sunday, September 25th and will be announced in the near future. You can still make your contributions at the link below to help find a cure for this terrible disease. We will let you know when the event has been rescheduled.

Kell, Mary and Taylor

Sunday, September 11, 2005 8:48 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

With all the aftermath of Katrina, we are behind on our fundraising for Light the Night. For those of you who are not familiar with Light the Night, it is the Leukemia and Lymphoma's yearly fundraiser. The picture above is from last year's walk when we raised $3,000. Our goal for this year is $5,000. The easiest way to sign up is to click on the link below. It will bring you directly to our Light the Night web page and you can register as a member of our team "Alex's Army". The walk is on Sunday, September 25th. Pre-Walk festivities,(i.e. food, band etc.) begin at 5:30 and the walk begins at 7:00. Last year we met at Subway on the corner of North Blvd. and Third street. We'll meet there again this year. We would love to have you come join us, but even if you can't be there please donate to this cause. We must find a cure for this terrrible disease.
Mary

Wednesday, September 7, 2005 7:34 AM CDT

Sorry we haven't posted in a while, but Katrina has had her way with south Louisiana. We are all fine and thankfully have no loss to report, but life here has changed. We will post again as soon as we can.

Kell

Monday, August 8, 2005 7:32 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,
I'm not sure how many of you still log on, but I have a special request. One of our "cell mates" at Duke is in trouble. Sweet "Queen Maddy" www.caringbridge.org/ca/queenmaddy, is in urgent need of prayer. She is in PICU on a vent and experiencing liver and kidney problems. The Bates family is very close to our hearts. Please pray for complete healing for Maddy and strength and comfort for Mom and Dad (Richelle and Joe). Big brother Ethan needs prayer too as I'm sure he is feeling confused and scared.
I also wanted to let you know that we will be participating in the "Light the Night" fund raiser put on by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society every year. Last year we raised $3,000 to help fight this terrible disease. The picture above is from last year's walk. If you would like to paricipate click on the link below. You can have people sponsor you to walk, or just donate. We are also looking for corporate sponsors.
Thanks,
Mary

Saturday, August 6, 2005 7:23 PM CDT

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 8:14 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!!!!!! We love you and miss you so much.

12 years ago today Alex was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and became the second son that God blessed us with. Taylor was thrilled to have a new baby brother, but was a little upset that Mary and I wouldn't name him "Michael Jordan Johnson". There was an instant bond with Taylor and Alex, I remember that while the nurses were cleaning Alex up after birth, Alex was screaming and crying until Taylor went over and started holding his little brothers hand and talking to him. At that very moment Alex began to calm down and stop crying.

With the addition of Alex our family was complete. Over the years the four of us traveled to little league games, Cub Scout meeting and school and church events. Both Taylor and Alex would become involved in our churches children's ministry participating in Sunday School, Vacation Bible school and various musicals.

When Alex was only 18 months old we introduced him to camping for the first time. He loved it from that day forward. Over the years we traveled and camped in the mountains, the beaches at Disney World and all points in between. We camped with the Cub Scouts and with other families, we camped in tents and in our pop-up. God blesed us in that all four of us loved to be with each other traveling and camping.

From the time Alex was born until about three years ago we lived in the house I grew up in surrounded by many of the neighbors I grew up with. We had a neighborhood swimming pool that was the center of activity for all the kids during the summer. It was a care free life for Taylor and Alex as they were surrounded with friends and fun filled days.

Mary and I are so thankful that we were able to expose Taylor and Alex to so many things and take them to see so many places. Everytime we would travel, the boys would ask, "How many states have we been to now?" and I think at last count it was 14 or 15. They attended plays and visited museums, climbed mountains and went whitewater rafting, they flew on planes on rode on trains, swam in the oceans and both snow skied and water skied. They fished and ran trot lines, went to Disney World and canoed with the manatees. Alex and I even attended the Sugar Bowl to watch LSU win the National Championship. All those times and places and so many memories. Yes we are truly thankful for the time we have spent with our boys.

On this day Mary, Taylor and I will be reflecting back on all of those memories with great fondness. We thank God for allowing us to be a part of Alex's life. We thank God that he chose us to be Alex's parents and brother.

Thank you Alex for blessing us and making our lives so wonderful. Happy Birthday buddy we love you and can't wait to see you again.

Love Mom, Dad, and Taylor

Sunday, May 15, 2005 5:18 PM CDT

This is one of my favorite pictures of Alex taken about a month before he was diagnosed. He looks so happy and carefree with not a care in the world. Alex's love for life continues to be a source of strength and inspiration to Kell,Taylor and I and anyone who knew and loved him. Alex never did anything halfway, except maybe for school work! He was a fierce competitor and took on his battle with leukemia with the same determination of a baseball or football game. Besides missing him so much, that's what hurts so much and if I'm honest makes me mad. It just doesn't seem fair for him to have lost his battle to a stupid adeno virus when he came so far. He wanted so much to live. As I was journaling this morning and writing to Alex, I was reminded that Alex still lives and if we allow ourselves, we can still experience him in our lives daily. What I can't do anymore is mother him and that hurts. I love being a mother to both Taylor and Alex and my job with Alex wasn't finished. What became clear to me at that moment is that I have a choice to walk in faith that Alex is with God safe and happy with all memories of his struggle erased. The fact that I miss him terribly and mourn for the lost opportunity to mother him does not change the truth that Alex is in the presence of our God whole, happy and perfect. What makes this faith thing so difficult is that we don't see the whole picture and mommies want to be in control of their children. They want to know where they are and what they're doing. I ask Kell all the time, "What do you think Alex is doing right now?" He makes up some great story about flying around the stars or organizing a baseball or football games among the saints and we smile. A wise person encouraged me to continue to imagine wonderful things that Alex is doing because what ever we can imagine will not come close to what heaven is really like.
Thank you for your continued love and support for our family. Please be in prayer for Maddy, Lane and Ashley and their families. These children were on the bone marrow unit with Alex and are currently experiencing complications. This is such a long and exhausting process with a constant fear of the unknown. All of these children and their families are remarkable and are very close to our hearts. For those of you who donated money or items to the Child Life Department at Ochsner Hospital in honor of Alex, we will be going to the hospital in the next couple of weeks to present the gifts. I will keep you informed. The last month has been very hectic with school, weddings and proms so we have not had a chance to make a trip to New Orleans. We will be posting new pictures soon of the most handsome couple at the Dutchtown High junior/senior prom. Taylor continues to do well and gives us great joy.
Love,
Mary

Sunday, May 15, 2005 8:46 AM CDT

This is one of my favorite pictures of Alex taken about a month before he was diagnosed. He looks so happy and carefree with not a care in the world. Alex's love for life continues to be a source of strength and inspiration to Kell,Taylor and I and anyone who knew and loved him. Alex never did anything halfway, except maybe for school work! He was a fierce competitor and took on his battle with leukemia with the same determination of a baseball or football game. Besides missing him so much, that's what hurts so much and if I'm honest makes me mad. It just doesn't seem fair for him to have lost his battle to a stupid adeno virus when he came so far. He wanted so much to live. As I was journaling this morning and writing to Alex, I was reminded that Alex still lives and if we allow ourselves, we can still experience him in our lives daily. What I can't do anymore is mother him and that hurts. I love being a mother to both Taylor and Alex and my job with Alex wasn't finished. What became clear to me at that moment is that I have a choice to walk in faith that Alex is with God safe and happy with all memories of his struggle erased. The fact that I miss him terribly and mourn for the lost opportunity to mother him does not change the truth that Alex is in the presence of our God whole, happy and perfect. What makes this faith thing so difficult is that we don't see the whole picture and mommies want to be in control of there children. They want to know where they are and what they're doing. I ask Kell all the time, "What do you think Alex is doing right now?" He makes up some great story about flying around the stars or organizing a baseball or football games among the saints and we smile. I wise person encouraged me to continue to imagine wonderful things that Alex is doing because what ever we can imagine will not come close to what heaven is really like.
Thank you for your continued love and support for our family. Please be in prayer for Maddy, Lane and Ashley and their families. These children were on the bone marrow unit with Alex and are currently experiencing complications. This is such a long and exhausting process with a constant fear of the unknown. All of these children and their families are remarkable and are very close to our hearts. For those of you who donated money or items to the Child Life Department at Ochsner Hospital in honor of Alex, we will be going to the hospital in the next couple of weeks to present the gifts. I will keep you informed. The last month has been very hectic with school, weddings and proms so we have not had a chance to make a trip to New Orleans. We will be posting new pictures soon of the most handsome couple at the Dutchtown High junior/senior prom. Taylor continues to do well and gives us great joy.
Love,
Mary

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:28 AM CDT

As I sat down to write this journal, I was about to start it out with, "Alex loved this time of year" and I was going to go on about how he loved practicing and playing baseball and looking forward to the summer and all the activities he would be involved in. But then I realized that Alex loved everyday of his life and it didn't matter what time of year it was or what he was involved in, he just loved being Alex Johnson and he was very comfortable with himself and happy with his life. I'll never forget one day when he and I were shooting hoops out in the driveway and I noticed how much fun he was having. I had to ask him, "Alex what is your favorite sport?" and without hesitation while he was taking a shot, he said,"Whichever sport I happen to be playing." To me that spoke volumes of who he was and how blessed he was to have that outlook. To be happiest with whatever you happen to be doing at that moment is something I pray God would bless me with. Mary and I were looking back on the six months Alex was in the hospital going through treatment and we can truly say that some of the sweetest times we've had as a family were spent during that time. I think it was because Alex's approach to life had rubbed off on us by then and that was to enjoy to the fullest that moment in time regardless of what was going on in our lives or what we were doing.

Alex as your dad I want to thank you for being such a blessing to us and for being such an inspiration and teacher of life to us. We love you and miss you more than you can imagine. We look forward to the day that we are re-united with you.

Kell (Dad)

Friday, April 8, 2005 3:29 PM CDT

Mary, Taylor and I would like to thank everyone that joined us at the cemetery to remember Alex on April 1st. I would say that at least 50 of our friends and family showed up to be with us. It really means a lot to us.

The reason that I have an image of space and the earth on the home page of this site is because after the visit to the cemetery, most of us made a trip to the local observatory to view a star we had named in honor of Alex. The name of the star is "Alex Johnson" It is impossible to see the star with the naked eye and pretty tough to find without expert advice, but we did view the star which made the night even that much more special.

Alex's favorite constillation was Orion, he even became very good at locating it in the night sky. The star Alex Johnson is in a star cluster just above Orion, so if you don't have a telescope but you can find Orion you will be looking in the area where Alex's star is located.

Thanks once again to those that showed up and to the many that weren't able to make it, but were thinking of Alex.

We'll talk soon.

Kell Johnson

Thursday, March 24, 2005 1:58 PM CST

It's almost been a year since we began our journey here on earth without Alex at our side. Although we know that he is in paradise with Our Heavenly Father and we still feel his presence, the walk here without him has been long and difficult. We will never stop missing him until we are re-united with him in Heaven.

At 6:00 on Friday April 1st, 2005 you are invited to attend a short service at Resthaven Cemetery to remember the life of our precious Alex. We will be remembering his love for life, his courage through his challenges and the strength that he amazed us with during his entire life. We will also be collecting donations to purchase Play Station II equipment and games for the Childlife Program at Ochsner Clinical Foundation in New Orleans. They were so good to Alex there and we just want to help as we can.If you want to donate,checks can be made out to "The Cookbook Fund" if you can't make the service, donations can be dropped off at The Chapel on the Campus.

In memory of Alex, we have contacted the International Star Registry and have made arrangements to have a star officially named after Alex. The star will be named "Alex Johnson". I have also contacted the Highland Road Observatory here in Baton Rouge and at 7:00p.m. following the service for Alex, they are going to locate the star "Alex Johnson" with the big telescope and allow us to have a private viewing. We would like to invite all of you to join us there as well. We will be making the short drive to the observatory immediately following the service at the cemetery, so if you don't know where it is, just follow us.

Thanks so much for the continued love and support you have shown us, you all mean so much to us. We hope to see you on April 1st.

Kell, Mary and Taylor

Thursday, March 24, 2005 12:59 AM CST

It's almost been a year since we began our journey here on earth without Alex at our side. Although we know that he is in paradise with Our Heavenly Father and we still feel his presence, the walk here without him has been long and difficult. We will never stop missing him until we are re-united with him in Heaven.

At 6:00 on Friday April 1st, 2005 you are invited to attend a short service at Resthaven Cemetery to remember the life of our precious Alex. We will be remembering his love for life, his courage through his challenges and the strength that he amazed us with during his entire life. We will also be collecting donations to purchase Play Station II equipment and games for the Childlife Program at Ochsner Clinical Foundation in New Orleans. They were so good to Alex there and we just want to help as we can.If you want to donate, but can't make the service, please post a message here on the website and we will let you know how to donate.

In memory of Alex, we have contacted the International Star Registry and have made arrangements to have a star officially named after Alex. The star will be named "Alex Johnson". I have also contacted the Highland Road Observatory here in Baton Rouge and at 7:00p.m. following the service for Alex, they are going to locate the star "Alex Johnson" with the big telescope and allow us to have a private viewing. We would like to invite all of you to join us there as well. We will be making the short drive to the observatory immediately following the service at the cemetery, so if you don't know where it is, just follow us.

Thanks so much for the continued love and support you have shown us, you all mean so much to us. We hope to see you on April 1st.

Kell, Mary and Taylor

Thursday, March 10, 2005 10:48 AM CST

Well the warmer months are approaching and this is the time of year that we begin to plan our summer vacations and weekend getaways. Taylor has requested that we pull our camper to the Rockies this summer so we are presently gathering information to make that long drive out west.The gathering of information, reading about points of interest and charting out the trip is always an exciting process in itself. The anticipation seems to grow the more you learn about your destination and who and what you'll see when you get there.

The anticipation of seeing Alex again when we get to Heaven is growing more and more each day as we investigate and learn more about our eternal home. We miss Alex more than you can imagine, but the anticipation and knowledge that we will not only see him again, but spend eternity with him in our Father's presence allows us to get up every morning and live life one day at a time.

I promise I will try to post more often in the future and I'll be adding more pictures of Alex soon.

Kell

Wednesday, March 9, 2005 4:28 PM CST

Well the warmer months are approaching and this is the time of year that we begin to plan our summer vacations and weekend getaways. Taylor has requested that we pull our camper to the Rockies this summer so we are presently gathering information to make that long drive out west.The gathering of information, reading about points of interest and charting out the trip is always an exciting process in itself. The anticipation seems to grow the more you learn about your destination and who and what you'll see when you get there.

The anticipation of seeing Alex again when we get to Heaven is growing more and more each day the more we investigate and learn more about our eternal home. We miss Alex more than you can imagine, but the anticipation and knowledge that we will not only see him again, but spend eternity with him in our Father's presence allows us to get up every morning and live life one day at a time.

I promise I will try to post more often in the future and I'll be adding more pictures of Alex soon.

Kell

Monday, February 7, 2005 7:20 AM CST

It's been a while since I last wrote. Mary, Taylor and I are getting along as well as can be expected taking things one day at a time. Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday, a day Alex always looked forward to because of his pure love for the game of football. Yesterdays Super Bowl was also a game we welcomed with opened arms as we cherished the memories of how Alex so enjoyed Super Bowl Sunday. It came as no surprise when the Patriots won because that is who Alex would be pulling for.

Yesterday morning in church as the worship team was singing, I once again found it difficult to lift my voice in song praising God so I stood quietly as others around me sang. This has been an ongoing struggle for me every since we lost Alex. Before Alex got sick, I was a big part of our churches worship team leading the congregation in worship on Sunday mornings and during special events. Not a Sunday goes by that someone doesn't comment to me on how they miss hearing me sing on Sunday mornings. Because of this it feels strange to stand there on Sunday mornings silent as others sing.

During Communion yesterday, I sat in my seat with me eyes closed and head bowed as I asked God to reveal to me why I can't seem to sing. At that moment I began to focus on Jesus and his gift of Salvation. Once my focus turned from the loss of Alex to the eternal gift God has given us through the death and resurection of His Son Jesus Christ, then I began to find my song of praise and worship.

I know I will see Alex again and I must focus on the fact that God has made this possible. What a gift and what a day to look forward to.

Kell

Saturday, December 25, 2004 11:44 AM CST

Merry Christmas Everyone,

This morning we woke up to a white Christmas in Prairieville Louisiana! We decided it was Alex's present to us. When Kell asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him a sign from God that Alex was safe and happy. Well, we are choosing to believe God answered that request. Kell said he could just hear Alex saying "Hey, Mom and Dad look what God let me do." It has been a surprisingly peaceful and joyful Christmas. As I have mentioned before we are choosing to focus on our blessings and not our losses. Although it helps us to look forward to the day we will see Alex again, it does not lessen the pain of missing him so much that you feel your heart is truly breaking. We would like again to thank all of you who have helped us survive this past year. My friend Vi Atchison gave me a daily devotional entitled Streams in the Desert. Vi lost her precious daughter, Renee this year and has been a model of faith and trust. The devotional for December 19, sums up what you all have done for us. Please accept this poem as a Christmas present from our hearts to yours.

If you have gone a little way ahead of me, call back
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stormy track;
And if,perhaps,Faith's light is dim,because the oil is low,
Your call will guide my lagging course as wearily I go.

Call back,and tell me that He went with you into the storm;
Call back and say He kept you when the forest's roots were torn;
That, when the heavens thunder and the earthquake shook the hill,
He bore you up and held you where the lofty air was still.

O friend, call back, and tell me for I cannot see your face;
They say it glows with triumph, and your feet sprint in the race;
But there are mists between us and my spirit eyes are dim,
And I cannot see the glory, though I long for word of Him.

But if you'll say He heard you when your prayer was but a cry,
And if you'll say He saw you through the night's sin-darkened sky.
If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back
It will cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

Thank you for "Calling Back" to us. Please continue to do so.
Love,
Kell, Mary, Taylor and Alex, alive and well with Our Risen Savior.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 1:18 PM CST

The memorial service Sunday night was beautiful. Thank you Susan, Floyd, Kevin, Alex and Susan for attending. We were very touched to see you there. Thanks to all the rest of you who lit candles in memory of Alex. We are making it day by day with God's help and the help of our friends and family. Taylor is a great comfort and joy to both Kell and me. We are trying to stay focused on the gift that Alex was and the many happy memories of our time together.
We were very sad to learn that a toddler named Maddy who was on the bone marrow unit with us at Duke has relapsed. Maddy had a transplant to cure her from AML. She was doing beautifully back home in California. A recent check up revealed that the leukemia is back. Please pray for Maddy, her mom and dad and big brother. They are a beautiful family and were such a comfort to us. Maddy's site is
caringbridge.org/ca/queenmaddy.
Love,
Mary

Tuesday, December 7, 2004 7:50 AM CST

Good Morning Everyone,

As Kell has mentioned, we continue to be thankful for all our wonderful memories of our short time with our precious Alex. He was such a special gift from God. Although we don't understand why he was taken from us, I believe the only pathway to healing can be the one of gratitude. Sunday, Dec. 12th is National Children's Memorial Day. People around the country will be lighting a candle from 7:00 to 8:00 in memory of all the children who have gone to be with Our Lord. Commpassionate Friends will be meeting at St. Paul's Lutheran Church (2021 Tara Blvd.) at 6:30 to remember our precious children. The service will start at 7:00. Anyone is welcome. You may light a candle whereever you are in memory of Alex. We will be remembering his love for life and his beautiful smile. Thankyou for loving our Alex and for loving us. We love you.
Mary

Thursday, December 2, 2004 10:48 AM CST

Well the holidays are upon us already and Mary, Taylor and I are doing our best to keep the holiday spirit. As you can well imagine there is a tremendous void in our lives now and the holidays seem to shine a light on just how much we miss having Alex with us.

Because Alex as well as the rest of us loved this time of year so much, we have plenty of video and photographs to jog our memory of those blessed times we shared as a family of four. The Thanksgiving dinners and the cooler weather. The nights in front of the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate. The camping trips that we were able to squeeze in during the holidays. Cutting down and decorating our Christmas Tree. Our Christmas ski trip to upstate New York and so many other wonderful memories.

As tough as it is, I feel it's important that we continue to make new memories and as we do, we will always remember Alex and feel his presence with us. To move forward doesn't mean to forget, but rather to move closer day by day to the time when we are reunited with Alex.

Kell

Monday, November 8, 2004 9:33 AM CST

Sunday, October 17th 2004 marked the one year anniversary of the day that would change our lives forever. I almost hesitate to use the word "anniverary" because up until now I have associated the word with happy occasions such as weddings and special event. It has been hard to think of anything happy associated with October 17th because of the news we would receive that day. Not only was it the day Alex would be diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia, but it also was the day that Alex left our family home in Prairieville only to return for three short visits over the following six month period.

I remember house hunting in the Prairieville area before settling on the home we’re in now and I remember the one thing I really wanted in a new home was a yard big enough for the boys to run around and play in. During this search for a new home Mary would find a house she liked and as we would go visit it, she would be all excited to go inside to check out the floor plan and before I would set foot in the house, I was stepping off the distance between the pitchers mound and home plate or laying out a mini-football field in my mind. If there wasn’t enough room for either of those two things, I just didn’t see it as an option for us. When your boys are outside boys a small yard just won’t do. We eventually found a home that had a floor plan that Mary liked that also sat on almost an acre of land giving us plenty of room for outdoor fun. We played football and baseball, threw the Frisbee, star gazed at night, jumped on the trampoline, had water balloon fights, raised a garden (once), built bonfires, slid on the slippery slide, played with Flash and yes cut lots and lots of grass. We still cut lots of grass, but now with Taylor older and without Alex to organize a game, the yard has become very quiet. Whenever I go into my backyard I am constantly reminded of the way things used to be and find myself yearning to have those days back but deeply saddened to realize that those days can only be relived in my mind.

I knew the weekend of October 17th 2004 would be tough for us, so I planned a family camping trip for Mary, Taylor and myself to Chicot State Park about two hours away. As most of you know we started camping when the boys were in diapers and it has proven to be an activity that we all loved to do as a family. Most of our family vacations have been spent in either tents or our pop up camper from the Gulf Coast and Walt Disney World to the mountains and all points in between. Camping was a gift to our family, because we all shared an interest and enthusiasm for being with each other exploring the outdoors and seeing and experiencing other places and points of interest with each other. It was at these times that I felt closest to my family. That is exactly why I felt it important for the three of us to be in a place, doing the things that Alex and the rest of us loved doing together.
I could feel his presence there with us as we camped in his favorite spot but desperately wanted to hug and kiss him and tuck him into his sleeping bag at night. I did bring one of his hats and his sleeping bag with us because I can’t stand the thought of doing anything or going anywhere without including him in on it even if it is just symbolic. It seems to be my little way of telling him that I love him, I miss him, that I desire to have him by my side and that he will always be a part of my life.

Our last family camping trip with Alex was just days before he was diagnosed with leukemia. Only a few days before the doctors at Duke discovered in Alex the virus that would eventually take his life, he and I were in his hospital room planning our next camping trip to his specifications. Something tells me that camping needs to always be a part of our lives.

Still seeking God and asking the very hard questions and still loving and missing Alex more than anyone can imagine.

Kell

Monday, October 11, 2004 5:47 PM CDT

Please pray for Mary, Taylor and me this week. This coming Sunday October 17th 2004 marks one year since Alex was diagnosed with leukemia. I remember every minute of that day as it has been etched in my mind forever as one of the worst days of our lives. The three of us have decided to go camping this weekend to remember Alex. In case you don't know, camping was an activity that Mary, Taylor, Alex and I loved. Alex took his first camping trip with us when he was only 18 months old and he was hooked from that point on. I even said shortly after Alex's death that I felt that he was in heaven picking out the best camping spots for when we go to join him.

Check the photo album, I have added a few pictures.

Thanks again for all of your contnued support.

Kell

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 1:56 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Kell, Taylor and I continue to miss our Alex everyday and remain determined to keep his memory alive in the hearts of those who loved him. One of the many ways we are doing this is participating in the Light the Night Walk this Sunday night, Sept. 26th at 7:00 down North Blvd. in down town B.R. The walk is the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's annual fund raiser to help find a cure for these terrible diseases. Many of you have already signed up to walk with our team-Alex's Army. Those of you who would like to walk can let us know through the web-site, give us a call or simple show up Sunday night at 5:30 to register. The walk is at 7:00. A $25 donation will get you an illuminated balloon and a $100 donation will get you a T-shirt.
Looking forward to seeing many of you there. We will be gathering at the Subways on the corner of North Blvd. and 3rd St. Kell's company has made a banner with the caption
Alex's Army. We shouldn't be too hard to miss. I hear there will be a band and food. Thanks for everything.

Love,
Mary

Sunday, September 12, 2004 11:58 AM CDT

Saturday September 4th was a very special day for Mary Taylor and me as well as all of those that loved Alex so much. The number 52, the number Alex wore as a member of the Championship Prairieville Bronco Football Team was retired in honor of Alex.

I would first like to thank Coach Kenny Sunde and his wife Michelle Sunde for spearheading this and making sure that this became a reality. I would like to thank Patricia Dees for her continued support and to thank her for using her talents in writting yet another beautiful poem about Alex.

I would like to thank the entire coaching staff from last year and this year as well as all the players and parents that have continued to be a support to us. I would like to thank the entire league including all of the teams coaches players and parents for treating us as part of their family, we will never forget your acts of kindness.

At half time of the Bronco's game Saturday Everyone was asked to the middle of the field for the presentation. A friend of ours, Brian Kinchen, who played in last years Super Bowl for the New England Patriots was kind enough to be with us and addressed the crowd. Brian I want to thank you for your words of hope and inspiration. Just to let you know, when Alex was in the hospital at Duke, Brian was playing in the Super Bowl and Alex was cheering him on even though we were the only ones there pulling for the Patriots. As many of you may know Alex was a big LSU Football Fan, he and I were able to attend the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans to cheer the LSU Tigers on to a National Championship. During the season one of Alex's favorite players for LSU was starting defensive safety Jack Hunt. Both Jack and Alex were the starting safeties on their teams and Alex really followed his career with the Tigers. I want to thank Jack Hunt for being there with us as well.

After the ceremony both Brian and Jack took pictures with kids and adults as well and signed lots of autographs. They also brought along their Championship rings to show to everyone. Once again thank you Brian and Jack, I can't tell you how much your being there with us meant to us.

I also want to thank a very special person for being there with us and that is Nurse Andy Denny. Andy is as big of a sports nut as Alex was and Alex really loved having Andy as one of his nurses. Thanks Andy, we love you and appreciate you being there with us.

Over the next few days I hope to post some of the photos of the ceremony to this site, but I do have one photo I can share and that is of Brian Kinchen, Andy Denny and Jack Hunt standing together in that order from left to right.

Thanks to everyone for your continued support.

Kell Johnson

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 5:42 AM CDT

This coming Saturday, September 4th, Alex's football team, the Prairieville Broncos will be retiring Alex's number and jersey. What an honor for Alex. For those of you that would like to attend, the game will be played at 8:30 a.m. on Saturday morning and the ceremony will take place at half time. If you are going to the LSU game, you will have plenty of time to make both. Mary, Taylor and I still miss Alex in a way that is impossible to discribe but it does our hearts good when people continue to show us through their thoughts and gestures that they too miss Alex.

For those of you coming to the game, it will be played at Prairieville Middle School. To get there from Airline Hwy turn onto hwy 42 in Prairieville, drive about two miles and turn right on 930 across the street from Broussard Grove Baptisit Church. The school is on 930 about a mile and a half from hwy 42. Park where you can and come join us at the football field.

Kell

Monday, August 9, 2004 12:31 AM CDT

During the 2002 Christmas holidays, Mary and I decided to take the boys snow skiing. We looked at our options and decided to take them to upstate New York where we could stay with and visit family. It was a wonderful trip that all four of us enjoyed and talked about often. There were record amounts of snow and Taylor and Alex were able to play in a winter wonderland during this very special time of year. I took lots of video footage of Mary and the boys skiing and needless to say this continues to be some of our most treasured footage ever. Alex asked to view the tape quite often over the last couple of years.

I also took still photos of this trip of which one very important roll was lost before we could get it developed. We turned the house upside down searching for this missing roll of film, but were never able to find it. Over time we just stopped looking and finally came to the conclusion that it was lost forever.

Last week as I was driving home from work, Mary called and asked me if I wanted to hear something wierd and I hesitated before saying yes. Well she tells me that a friend of ours from church had taken some film in to be developed thinking it was church related pictures since she is the youth director at church. Well the first group of pictures she opened was of her wedding and the second group she opened was our ski trip. I couldn't believe it, I kept praying that these pictures would somehow, someday show up and they did. Her husband after hearing the story quickly put together what had happened. They had loaned us their ski bibs and jackets and I must have left a roll of film in his ski jacket. I can't imagine why I never thought to look in that jacket, but I never did.

Anyway, I decided to share with you some of the pictures from that roll of film. Check them out.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking him the tough questions and still loving and missing Alex more than anyone can imagine.

Kell

Monday, August 2, 2004 11:34 AM CDT

On July 21st Mary, Taylor and I packed up our bags and drove to Florida for a long weekend at the beach with our dear friends the Kearneys. We were not sure how this trip would effect us since it was the first time we have gone on a family vacation since Alex died. I was also the first time we had been on vacation without Alex in 11 years.

Even though most of our vacations have been spent in our camper, we decided this time to rent a condo since there were going to be nine of us going. Taylor has been friends for a long time with the two older Kearney boys, Jonathan and Drew and Alex was very good friends with their youngest son whose name also happens to be Alex. We referred to them as Alex J. and Alex K. when they were together. We also invited another friend of Alex J's and Alex K's, Joseph Garrett. Alex J., Alex K. and Joseph were all friends and enjoyed doing many of the same things together. And oh yeah, we also invited Kevin and Liz Kearney so that Mary and I would have someone our age to play with.

Anyway as with most things in life these days, everything has that bittersweet taste about it. We were excited to be going to Florida, but we wanted Alex to be there with us. We thought of him almost constantly as the area we went to was one of our favorite places to visit as a family. I was constantly reminded of how much Alex enjoyed the beach and everything about it, he and I both enjoyed snorkeling for shells together and he and Taylor loved to ride the waves together. Mary was the archietect of the sandcastles and they enjoyed building and digging together. We loved being a family and spending time with each other, although we'll always have those memories, things will just never be complete again without him. Our hope though is in the fact that we will one day be reunited with him in the presence of God to live the promised eternal life together. That excites me more now than ever before.

Florida was fun, we all had a good time and I know having the Kearneys there with us was a blessing, it would have been tougher, or almost impossible to face that trip without them.

As of yesterday it's been four months since Alex went to be with our Heavenly Father and we miss him more now than ever before, but I have to tell you that I Praise God that he allowed me to be Alex's dad for the time Alex was here with us. My life was and continues to be blessed by that precious little boy. Both of my boys are my heart and I love them dearly.

Mary, Taylor, Alex and I were so blessed in so many ways, and continue to be blessed. The four of us had each other and we enjoyed doing things together. Our blessing was that we all loved traveling and camping together. God blessed us with a common love for the outdoors and camping and I can't even describe how close that united us as a family. If anything ever gave me the warm fuzzies, it was time spent with my family on our many camping trips. With that being so, we have chosen to remember and honor Alex by continuing that family tradition rather than putting it on the shelf. Alex will always be with us and travel with us in spirit.

I have a feeling Alex has already picked out a few prime spots in Heaven for us to set up camp, gather around a campfire and enjoy spending time with each other as a family.

Our prayers and thoughts continue to be with the children and the families of those that we came to know and love at both Ochsners and Duke over the past several months as well as all the doctors, nurses and staff of those two facilities. We love you, miss you and pray for your continued strength, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking the tough questions, and looking forward more than ever before to being reunited with Alex in the presence of The Father.

Kell Johnson

Friday, July 16, 2004 11:18 AM CDT

Today seems to be a pretty good day here in the Johnson household. Although Alex is constantly in our thoughts, those thoughts have somehow begun to turn more and more toward all the wonderful times we had with Alex, and I believe thoughts of things to come when we will one day be with Alex again in the presence of our Savior Jesus. The one word that comes to mind when I reflect on things past and things to come is "HOPE". From the day Alex was diagnosed, we had hope, during his treatment we continued to have hope and up until his very last breath we had hope of a healing. I must admit, I was very confused and disappointed in God that he didn't honor my prayer by healing Alex and I was very mad at him for allowing this to happen. But as a little time has passed, I have recieved a measure of peace and a dose of hope from God and I say from God only because I can't begin to imagine where else it would come from. A friend of ours sent us a letter the other day describing a dream she had the night before Alex died. The dream revealed Jesus pacing back and forth at a very rustic door much like an expectant father would while awaiting the birth of a child. Also present was none other than Satan himself, but he was coward down in a corner as Jesus turned to him and commanded, "When he gets here you will not touch him, he is mine and you have no claims to him." When Alex arrived, he was whole and Jesus wrapped his arms around him and said "welcome home my precious one, I have been waiting for you." I believe that her dream was accurate in that Jesus is waiting for us so he can wrap his arms around us all and say to us "welcome home my precious one, I have been waiting for you." As for God not honoring my prayer, well I am starting to believe that he perhaps honored the prayer I most wanted him to answer and that was that my children would grow to know Him, serve him and live with Him in eternity. Please feel free to continue to post on this site, we love to hear from you. Also check out the photo album, I am adding new photos.

Kell

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 6:58 AM CDT

The photo above is of a little statue that Mary's sister-in-law Annette found and gave to us on the 4th of July. She spoke with someone to find out the colors of Alex's football team and painted the little football player with the ball to match Alex's uniform. This piece is now on our mantle and will always be treasured.

I have also posted a few new pictures of Alex on this site.

Still serving an awesome God. still asking him the tough questions, and still loving and missing Alex more than anyone could know.

Kell

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 6:10 AM CDT

The photo above is off a little statue that Mary's sister-in-law Annette found and gave to us on the 4th of July. She spoke with someone to find out the colors of Alex's football team and painted the little football player with the ball to match Alex's uniform. This piece is now on our mantle and will always be treasured.

I have also posted a few new pictures of Alex on this site.

Still serving an awesome God. still asking him the tough questions, and still loving and missing Alex more than anyone could know.

Kell

Wednesday, June 30, 2004 7:39 AM CDT

Yesterday was Alex's 11th birthday. Even though he was not physically with us to celebrate, we felt his presence as we spent the day thinking of him, remembering all that we love about him and at the end of the day gathering with friends and family at the cemetary to reflect, honor him and sing happy birthday to him. Mary read a very touching message she had written to Alex, our pastor read scripture and said a few words,prayed and then we sang happy birthday and released balloons. We were very touched by the number of people that showed up to be with us in spite of the threatning thunderstorms in the area. We were meant to be there, because minutes before we were to meet there, the skies began to clear and several folks told us that they saw a beautiful rainbow as they were driving in.Thanks to everyone that was able to be with us yesterday and thanks to all of you who weren't able to be with us, but were thinking about Alex on his special day.

I want to end by sharing with you a short little word of wisdom and faith written by Billy Graham. I feel it is very powerful particulary at this time.

"I have found in my travels that those that keep Heaven in view remain serene and cheerful in the darkest day. If the glories of Heaven were more real to us, if we lived less for material things and more for things eternal and spiritual, we would be less easily disturbed by this present life.
This is not escapism, as some would argue. If anything, a firm faith in the future should make us more responsible in the present. All around us are people who never give a moments thought to Heaven or eternity. How will they learn of the future if we don't tell them in the present? The real escapism, I would contend, is refusing to face the future that God has prepared for us.
In the days of darkness and upheaval and uncertainty, the trusting and forward-looking Christian remains optimistic and joyful, knowing that Christ someday must rule, and "if we endure, we shall also reign with Him" (2 Tim. 2: 12)."

I have added a few photos of the gathering yesterday to this sites photo album

Kell

Tuesday, June 29, 2004 6:37 AM CDT

Happy Birthday Alex!!!!

We love you and miss you more than anyone could know.

I know you're busy spending time with Jesus and all the new friends you've met. I know Paw Paw, PaPa Ted, Uncle Danny and all the family that has gone before you are glad that you are with them.

As the Bible says, one day in heaven is like a thousand years on earth, and I told your mom and Taylor that by the time you even start to think about us or look for us, we'll be right there with you.

We find joy in the knowledge that you are with the Father and that we will get to spend eternity with you in His presence.

We Love You.

Dad, Mom and Taylor

Tuesday, June 22, 2004 6:57 AM CDT

June 29th is Alex's birthday. Taylor will be out of state at a wrestling camp and Mary and I will be spending the day together remembering Alex and doing things that he loved to do with us. We also wanted to give you an opportunity to remember Alex with us. At 7:00 p.m. Mary and I will be at the cemetary to remember and reflect, we will also be releasing balloons. If you can be with us, we would love to have you there, and if you would like, bring a balloon to release. If you live too far away, or can't make it maybe you can release a balloon from where you are or just think of Alex.

The cemetary has a sign out front that says it closes at 5:30, and there may even be a chain up accross the entrance, but we spoke with the folks at the cemetary and they said it would be okay for us to be there. If you are coming from Airline Hwy then just go to the next driveway after the main entrance to the cemetary and turn to your left, you will drive past an old house that serves as their office. This way will allow you to enter the cemetary and be with us.

Please let others know in case they don't visit this website.

I am going to try to add new photos of Alex here on the site, so look for them.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking Him the hard questions, and still loving and missing Alex like no one can imagine.

Kell

Tuesday, June 22, 2004 6:35 AM CDT

June 29th is Alex's birthday. Taylor will be out of state at a wrestling camp and Mary and I will be spending the day together remembering Alex and doing things that he loved to do with us. We also wanted to give you an opportunity to remember Alex with us. At 7:00 p.m. Mary and I will be at the cemetary to remember and reflect, we will also be releasing balloons. If you can be with us, we would love to have you there, and if you would like, bring a balloon to release. If you live too far away, or can't make it maybe you can release a balloon from where you are or just think of Alex.

The cemetary has a sign out front that says it closes at 5:30, and there may even be a chain up accross the entrance, but we spoke with the folks at the cemetary and they said it would be okay for us to be there. If you are coming from Airline Hwy then just go to the next driveway after the main entrance to the cemetary and you will drive past an old house that serves as their office. This way will allow you to enter the cemetary and be with us.

Please let other know in case they don't visit this website.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking Him the hard questions, and still loving and missing Alex like no one can imagine.

Kell

Thursday, June 3, 2004 7:52 AM CDT

I spent a great deal of my day yesterday mad and sad. I was thinking back on October 17th, 2003 the day the doctors gave us the bad news about Alex. I guess most 10 year old kids don't really know what leukemia is and I'm sure they don't spend much time thinking about it, but Alex had seen one of his grandfather’s die with leukemia. Even two weeks prior to October 17th when Mary was taking Alex to the doctor to see why he wasn't feeling so good, he said to Mary, "I sure hope I don't have leukemia." Alex had given blood to have it tested I think on October 15th to see what was going on. When Mary got the call from the Doctors office telling her something didn't look right and that we had an appointment in a couple of hours with a pediatric hematologist in New Orleans she was at school and it was about 9:00 a.m. I was working from my office in our home and Alex was at home with me sleeping because he wasn't feeling well and Taylor was in school. After Mary called me to tell me what the doctors said, I called my friend Ken and informed him of the situation and asked him to pray. I then had to go and wake Alex up and tell him we had to go get more test done in New Orleans. I did my best to conceal my fears and concerns so he wouldn't get upset. He didn't feel much like getting up and he wanted to know why we had to go, but he got up anyway, got dressed and waited for Mary to arrive from school. Once we got on the road, I remember that Mary and I tried to talk about everyday things to keep the conversation lite for Alex's sake and our. I was eaten up with anxiousness, I didn't want Alex to go through what I imagined he might go through and yet I wanted to get there in a hurry to put an end to all of this, after all this was all going to turn out to be a false alarm. After arriving and Alex giving more blood, it didn't take long and we were in the doctor’s office. After a quick exam the three of us sat there waiting to hear a simple explanation of why Alex hadn't felt good and what the quick fix was for it. With Alex sitting between Mary and me, Dr, Hodes said "I think we're dealing with leukemia here." I watched Alex put his head down, cross his arms and begin to rock back and forth in his chair without a tear and without saying a word, Mary began crying and I sat there numb just looking at Alex and Mary wondering how this could be. I wanted to punch Dr. Hodes in the mouth and take Mary and Alex out of there, but I was paralyzed. Dr. Hodes then said, "I'll bet Alex is wondering what we're talking about." and Mary explained to him that Alex was very familiar with the disease because his grandfather died from it just three months prior. This was not supposed to happen, we were God's children, and Alex was just a little boy none of this made any since. At that point we began talking very generically about treatments and how the disease was different in children than it was in adult. After maybe 29 minutes of this Alex looked at me and asked, "Dad when are we going home?" and I didn't have an answer for him. Dr, Hodes then said "Alex we're going to have to keep you here to start making you better, it's going to be a while before you can go back home." That's when it started to hit me that this was actually happening. Oh how I miss Alex. It's been 63 days since he went to be with Jesus and in many ways it's getting harder for us. I start my day usually around 4:30 or 5:00 just aching and crying over all of this. I hurt to my very core, it's as if the hurt is inside my bones, I feel like climbing the tallest mountain to just cry and scream and throw a fit where no one but God will see and hear me, but then for some odd reason, I want others to know my pain and I want others to miss Alex as much as I do. I still can't belief this has happened. I know that Alex is in Heaven now experiencing the Glory of God and all his promises. I know that we will see Alex again and that we will never be separated from him again, but oh how I long to hear his voice and give him a hug and spend time with him. I suppose I will ache and cry for the rest of my days in this fallen world, but my hope and faith is in the Lord and I look forward to the reunion.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking him the tough questions and still loving and missing Alex like no one can imagine.

Kell

Thursday, June 3, 2004 6:46 AM CDT

I spent a great deal of my day yesterday mad and sad. I was thinking back on October 17th, 2003 the day the doctors gave us the bad news about Alex. I guess most 10 year old kids don't really know what leukemia is and I'm sure they don't spend much time thinking about it, but Alex had seen one of his grandfathers die with leukemia. Even two weeks proir to October 17th when Mary was taking Alex to the doctor to see why he wasn't feeling so good, he said to Mary, "I sure hope I don't have leukemia." Alex had given blood to have it tested I think on October 15th to see what was going on. When Mary got the call from the Doctors office telling her something didn't look right and that we had an appointment in a couple of hours with a pediatric hematologist in New Orleans she was at school and it was about 9:00 a.m. I was working from my office in our home and Alex was at home with me sleeping because he wasn't feeling well and Taylor was in school. After Mary called me to tell me what the doctors said, I called my friend Ken and informed him of the ituation and asked him to pray. I then had to go and wake Alex up and tell him we had to go get more test done in New Orleans. I did my best to conceal my fears and concerns so he wouldn't get upset. He didn't feel much like getting up and he wanted to know why we had to go, but he got up anyway, got dressed and waited for Mary to arive from school. Once we got on the road, I remember that Mary and I tried to talk about everyday things to keep the conversation lite for Alex's sake and our. I was eaten up with anxiousness, I didn't want Alex to go through what I imagined he might go through and yet I wanted to get there in a hurry to put an end to all of this, afterall this was all going to turn out to be a false alarm. After arriving and Alex giving more blood, it didn't take long and we were in the doctors office. After a quick exam the three of us sat there waiting to hear a simple explanation of why Alex hadn't felt good and what the quick fix was for it. With Alez sitting between Mary and I, Dr, Hodes said "I think we're dealing with leukemia here." I watched Alex put his head down, cross his arms and begin to rock back and forth in his chair without a tear and without saying a word, Mary began crying and I sat there numb just looking at Alex and Mary wondering how could this be. I wanted to punch Dr. Hodes in the mouth and take Mary and Alex out of there, but I was paralysed. Dr. Hodes then said, "I'll bet Alex is wondering what we're talking about." and Mary explained to him that Alex was very familiar with the disease because his grandfather died from it just three months prior. This was not supposed to happen, we were God's children, Alex was just a little boy none of this made any since. At that point we began talking very generically about treatments and how the disease was different in children than it was in adult. After maybe 29 minutes of this Alex looked at me and asked, "Dad when are we going home?" and I didn't have an answer for him. Dr, Hodes then said "Alex we're going to have to keep you here to start making you better, it's going to be a while before you can go back home." That's when it started to hit me that this was actually happening. Oh how I miss Alex. It's been 63 days since he went to be with Jesus and in many ways it's getting harder for us. I start my day usually around 4:30 or 5:00 just aching and crying over all of this. I hurt to my very core, it's as if the hurt is inside my bones, I feel like climbing the tallest mountain to just cry and scream and throw a fit whare no one but God will see and hear me, but then for some odd reason, I want others to know my pain and I want others to miss Alex as much as I do. I still can't belief this has happened. I know that Alex is in Heaven now experiencing the Glory of God and all his promises. I know that we will see Alex again and that we will never be seperated from him again, but oh how I long to hear his voice and give him a hug and spend time with him. I suppose I will ache and cry for the rest of my days in this fallen world, but my hope and faith is in the Lord and I look forward to the reunion.

Thursday, May 20, 2004 12:09 AM CDT

I want to thank those of you who have made contributions in memory of Alex to Caringbridge. This site has been a wonderful tool for us to get the word out about Alex and to keep in touch with everyone of you, so thanks again for your continued support.

Over the last few days, I have been gathering our family photos and video so that I can scan and upload them to my computer. I have a movie maker program so that I can clean up some of the video and put together these little movies.

I am so thankful that we have so many pictures and videos of our boys. It also helps me to realize what a wonderful life that we have had. Although our pain is still very present, it does us good to see and hear Alex through these images.

I would encourage each and everyone of you, don't let a week pass you by without taking pictures and video of your kids and family. You will never regret it. As a matter of fact, I think back on all the times I wish I had taken pictures or video of the boys. One other thing, while you're in the car with your kids, turn off that radio talk show or that music and just enjoy talking with your kids. That is the perfect opportunity to do so. You can listen to the radio when you're alone in the car. I am so thankful that for the most part, but not all the time, we talk with our kids in the car rather than being distracted by the radio.

By the way I added a few new pictures of Alex to the photo page.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking him the hard questions and still loving and missing Alex like you'll never know.

Kell

Thursday, May 20, 2004 6:58 AM CDT

I want to thank those of you who have made contributions in memory of Alex to Caringbridge. This site has been a wonderful tool for us to get the word out about Alex and to keep in touch with everyone of you, so thanks again for your continued support.

Over the last few days, I have been gathering our family photos and video so that I can scan and upload them to my computer. I have a movie maker program so that I can clean up some of the video and put together these little movies.

I am so thankful that we have so many pictures and videos of our boys. It also helps me to realize what a wonderful life that we have had. Although our pain is still very present, it does us good to see and hear Alex through these images.

I would encourage each and everyone of you, don't let a week pass you by without taking pictures and video of your kids and family. You will never regret it. As a matter of fact, I think back on all the times I wish I had taken pictures or video of the boys. One other thing, while you're in the car with your kids, turn off that radio talk show or that music and just enjoy talking with your kids. That is the perfect opportunity to do so. You can listen to the radio when you're alone in the car. I am so thankful that for the most part, but not all the time, we talk with our kids in the car rather than being distracted by the radio.

Still serving an awesome God, still asking him the hard questions and still loving and missing Alex like you'll never know.

Kell

Wednesday, May 12, 2004 8:42 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your continued support and prayers. It is only through the grace of God that we get through each day. We miss Alex terribly and he is always in our thoughts. I do best when I visualize him in heaven running and playing and getting all his questions answered. I just wish I knew exactly what he was doing up there. I guess that is just a mom thing. Taylor has been an incredible source of support and joy for both Kell and me. He is such a great kid and we are truly blessed to be his parents.
I went to school today and spent some time with my buddies and hanging out in the classroom. I even helped Liz write some IEPs. The old brain still works. It was bitter sweet, but helpful I think. I can't say enough how much we appreciate everyone's love and support. We love you all dearly.
Love,
Mary

Wednesday, May 5, 2004 12:21 AM CDT

It's been awhile since I last posted here, but I have been thinking of you all often. Your continued prayers and support has allowed us to walk through this very difficult time in our lives, and for that I thank you.

I can't even describe the enormity of the sadness we are experiencing over the loss of Alex while at the same time our hearts are filled with joy for how he blesed our lives and how we were so honored to chosen by God to be his parents.

It was 168 days from the day Alex was diagnosed with AML to the day he went to be with his Heavenly Father on April 1st. Those 168 days were filled with every emotion you can imagine, from fear and anger to hope and joy and everything in between and then some. 168 days, thats only 24 weeks. We didn't expect to be dealing with this, we sure as hell didn't sign up for it. We were told from the beggining that Alex could die from this, but we never thought 24 weeks later he would be gone.

During those 24 weeks Alex found happiness when ever and where ever he could and during that time for the most part he felt pretty good. He enjoyed all the visitors that came to see him and enjoyed getting to know all the doctors and nurses that took care of him. He was a happy boy.

He was blessed that during all of this, he never lost his identity. He still considered himself to be an active boy with dreams for the future. He was Alex Johnson the whole time and was planning ahead for our next camping trip and his upcomming football season and so many other things. Just 90 days before his death, Alex and Taylor and I were in our backyard throwing the football and having a wonderful time. With his hat covering his bald head you couldn't tell he had just been through Chemo. 90 days, man that's not much time is it. Like I said, even though we knew he could die from this, we were so hopeful that he would be healed.

Mary, Taylor, Alex and I did everything together. We have always been very close. People used to ask Mary and I when we were going to go on vacation together without the boys and we used to say, someday. But I really don't think we had any intention of doing so because it brought us so much more joy allowing them to be with us to explore and experience things together. We have so many wonderful memories of our many trips and vacations together. I am so thankful for that.

About two months ago I signed Taylor, Alex and myself up for a membership in a flyfishing club here in our area. Ya see we knew that Alex was going to have to stay away from sports for awhile so I began searching for other things that could capture his attention. Since we all love to fish, we decided to take it to the next level and learn flyfishing together. I know what you're thinking, flyfishing at 10 years old? Isn't that a tough thing for a 10 year old to get into. Well Alex, was always up for a challenge, and really enjoyed learning and doing things that not everybody and his brother was doing. Taylor and I are going to start attending the monthly meetings and go forward with the flyfishing plans that the three of us had made. Alex would want us to.

168 days are gone before you know it. We better all make sure we make the most of each and everyone of them. Hug your kids, tell them over and over that you love them and how much they mean to you and take lots of pictures and video tape of them.

Still serving an awesome God, but asking lots of questions!

Kell Johnson

Friday, April 23, 2004 8:35 AM CDT

"Death Is a Doorway"

On the "wings of death"
the "soul takes flight"

Into the land where
"there is no night"

For those who believe
what the Saviour said

Will rise in glory
though they be dead...

So death comes to us
just to "open the door"

To the Kingdom of God
and life evermore.

Every mile we walk in sorrow
Brings us nearer to God's tomorrow!

Friday, April 23, 2004 8:29 AM CDT

"Death Is a Doorway"

On the "wings of death"
the "soul takes flight"

Into the land where
"there is no night"

For those who believe
what the Saviour said

Will rise in glory
though they be dead...

So death comes to us
just to "open the door"

To the Kingdon of God
and life evermore.

Every mile we walk in sorrow
Brings us nearer to God's tomorrow!

Monday, April 12, 2004 4:27 PM CDT

Tomorrow will be a week since we burried Alex. Mary, Taylor and I were blown away by the number of people that honored Alex by visiting with us Monday night and by being with us during the funeral. I can't tell you how much that meant to us. We continue to make little baby steps as we deal with such a tremendous loss and I imagine we will struggle for some time to come. Both Alex and Taylor are so close to us and we did almost everything together so it comes as no suprise that at every turn are memories of Alex.

At bedtime there was always a fight between Taylor and Alex over the hall light. Taylor wanted the hall light off because the light was just above his door and he said it was to bright. Alex's room is down the hall and the hall light cast just enough light into his room to keep it from being pitch black. Usually Alex would go to bed first and many times he would be asleep by the time Taylor was ready for bed. Well this past Saturday night Mary and I decided to drive by the cemetary to check things out. The whole place is pitch black except for Alex's site where a night light from a nearby home cast a soft glow over Alex. It was if God were saying to us, "Don't worry, I'm taking care of him, I know what he likes." That was the event that gave Mary and I peace on Saturday night. I thought I would share that with you.

Serving an awesome God

Kell

Sunday, April 4, 2004 2:09 PM CDT

On April 1, 2004 our beloved son, Alex Johnson, won the battle and was proclaimed victorious as he went home to be with his heavenly Father. He was born in Baton Rouge, LA on June 29, 1993. His entire life was such a blessing to his mom, dad, older brother, dog Flash, and to everyone with whom he came in contact. He was a member of The Chapel on the Campus where he attended church and Sunday school. He was a student in the 5th grade at Dutchtown Primary and a member of the Prairieville Bronco’s Championship Football Team. His coaches and teammates nicknamed him “Buffalo”. He led the charge on defense as the team’s starting free safety. Alex was also the starting catcher on his baseball team. He was a fierce competitor in every aspect of life and was an inspiration to all who knew him.

Alex was preceded in death by his paternal grandfather Thomas Johnson, his maternal grandfather Ted Arthur, his uncle Danny Arthur and his aunt Tommie Johnson. He is survived by his parents Kell and Mary Johnson, his older brother Taylor Johnson, paternal grandmother Dorothy Johnson and maternal grandmother Maureen Arthur. He is also survived by seven aunts, Juanita Payne, Connie Golden, Lynda Marks, Ellen McWilliams, Susan DeMers, Annette Arthur and Peggy Arthur; six uncles, Rusty Payne, Jerry Golden, Peter Marks, Jeff McWilliams, Floyd DeMers and Teddy Arthur; and his cousins, Rusty Payne , Adrianna White, Charity Wilson, Joel Golden, Amy Breaux, Gerry Breaux, Wade Breaux, Courtney Breaux, Jonathan Marks, Ryan Marks, Kristen Argondizzo, Jeffrey McWilliams, Michael McWilliams, Catherine DeMers, Jessica DeMers, Cherie Arthur, Wayne Ebeling and Terry Harlan.

Pallbearers will be Peter Marks, Ted Arthur, Bob Wood and Keith Mayeaux.
Honorary pallbearers will be Alex’s’ uncle, Floyd DeMers, the coaches and players of the Prairieville Bronco’s Football Team and the 5th Grade Boys’ Sunday School Class from The Chapel on the Campus. Visitation will be held at The Chapel on the Campus at 3355 Dalrymple Dr. in Baton Rouge Monday April 5th from 5:00p.m. to 8:00p.m. and on Tuesday, April 6th from 9:00 a.m. till 11:00 a.m. Services will begin at 11:00 a.m. officiated by Dr. Dennis Eenigenburg, with a burial following at Resthaven Gardens in Baton Rouge.

We would like to thank the doctors, nurses and staff at Ochsner Hospital and Duke University Medical Center for their loving care and devotion to our son. They were truly the hands of God and will forever be part of our family. We would also like to thank all our family and friends who have rallied around us during this difficult journey.

Memorial gifts may be made to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society or www.Caringbridge.com.

During the service there will be time for sharing your personal favorite happy and fond memories of Alex. For those that would like, the family encourages you to post those stories here as well.

Sunday, April 4, 2004 9:57 AM CDT

Friday, April 2, 2004 11:34 PM CST

Services for Alex will be held at The Chapel on the LSU campus, 3355 Dalrymple Drive. Driving directions to the church can be found at http://www.thechapelnet.com/about/map.asp

Visitation will be:

Monday, April 5 5:00pm - 8:00pm
Tuesday, April 6 9:00am - 11:00am

Funeral Services to follow at 11:00am

As a tribute to Alex and in celebration of his life, please share stories you have of Alex either through this web site or in a personal letter. This would be a precious gift for the family.

Gifts in memory of Alex can be made to the following:

* Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
8738 Quarters Lake Road
Baton Rouge, LA 70809

* Caringbridge - www.caringbridge.com

* The Child Life Department at Ochsner Hospital in New Orleans. Send donations to:
Oschner Clinic Foundation
1516 Jefferson Hwy.
New Orleans, LA 70121
Attn: Jamie Outlaw, 10th. Fl. Hospital
Hospital Child Life Department

Friday, April 2, 2004 8:55 PM CST

Services for Alex will be held at The Chapel on the LSU campus, 3355 Dalrymple Drive. Visitation will be:

Monday, April 5 5:00pm - 8:00pm
Tuesday, April 6 9:00am- 11:00am

Funeral Service to follow at 11:00am

Thursday, April 1, 2004 1:23 PM CST

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all of his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Psalm 103:2-5

Today at approximately noon, EST, with mom and dad at his side, Alex won the battle! He is the victor! ALEX WENT HOME TO BE WITH JESUS! He has been healed!

Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
II Corinthians 1:9-11

Wednesday, March 31, 2004 8:03 PM CST

Thanks to all prayer warriors who have faithfully remained on their knees for Alex today. There is really no change medically.

Mary and Kell are still VERY weary and need some rest. I (Kay W.) arrived today and hope to provide as much assistance as possible for them to sleep. (even if it's cat naps) They both are very hesitant to leave the room. Alex calls out for them quite often. The nurses and staff are wonderful and are doing their best to not only make Alex comfortable, but Kell and Mary as well.

Nana and Uncle Teddy will be leaving tomorrow morning to drive back to BR. Please pray for their safety as they travel. Also thanks from Mary and Kell to all who assisted in celebrating Taylor's birthday today. Happy 16th Birthday TAYLOR!!!!!

As I get new specific information, I will post or encourage Kell to do so. Details as of to date are on the last journal entry. Please continue to PRAY! God is in the business of working miracles and we're believing that He will heal Alex. May He continue to be glorified in all that is said and done.

For the Johnsons,
Kay Wallace

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 5:06 PM CST

Not just 10 minutes ago Mary and I came out of a meeting with Dr. Presad and the news was not good at all. It appears that Alex has no sign of cells in his bone marrow, so that means that the white count will not come up without devine intervention and a new transplant. They began a new medication to fight the virus, but it has not even been used here for this use. It has been used in other studies and in some cases has proved to be effective. When we asked what Alex's chances of survival were, we were told very slim.

Alex has not given up and Mary and I have not given up on him. When the nurse came in to administer this new medication for the virus she showed it to me and as I held this medication in my hand, the nurse asked me, "Do you want to pray before I give the medication that this new medication would work. She took Alex by the hand and I held up this medication and prayed over the medication and Alex, that this medication would be a God send. Please be praying with us that we would see fast positive results from this medication. We are told that Alex may not be able to hold on much longer.

We were asked again if we wanted to recesitate him if it came to that, and I told the Dr. I was not ready to make that decision. Please pray that we will not have to make that decision, that Alex will make a miraculous turn around . When asked if there was a possibility that this new medicine could work and we could see a turn around, Dr. Presad said yes there is a possibility that this could work for him.

As the meeting ended I read 2 Corinthians chapter 1 vs, 9-11 to Dr. Presad and Marian the social worker. I just felt like I needed to tell them where my hope was. I'm certain that they never questioned where my hope is, but I wanted to read it out loud to them.

Pray Pray Pray. Alex is fighting so hard and he has much left to do in this life. A dear friend reminded me today that when Jesus arrived to see Lazarus, it was assumed that he was too late, but we all know that his timing was perfect.

This friend also told me one day that we need to stop telling God how big our problems are and start telling our problems how big out God is.

Please pray for Alex, I know you will. I will give more details on Alex as they develope.

Kell

Monday, March 29, 2004 6:44 PM CST

I spoke with Mary a while ago and she said the bone aspiration went well and that Alex is a real trooper. They probably won't have the preliminary report until tomorrow and it will take a couple more days for a full report. Mary has been very encouraged by Alex's alertness today. He has been able to ask for what he wants and seems to be comfortable. Kell is flying out of N.O. as I write and will be with Mary and Alex tonight.

Continue to pray for:
* report to show 100% donor cells;
* the white blood cells to grow;
* virus to be defeated;
* Alex to continue to rest comfortably;
* Alex to gain strength;
* Kell's safe arrival tonight;
* rest and peace for Mary and Kell;
* comfort and peace for Taylor;
* God to be honored and glorified.

As I spoke with Kell and Mary today a song kept running through my mind that says: "There is HOPE in the name of the Lord, There is STRENGTH in the name of the Lord, There is POWER in the name of the Lord, Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord." Be encouraged that God is answering prayers and continue to lift Alex to our Lord Jesus Christ.

I will update as soon as I get news.

Susan Mayeaux
(For the Johnsons)

Monday, March 29, 2004 9:28 AM CST

God is in the business of answering prayer. Thank you to all who have been so faithful to pray for the Johnsons. Monday morning has brought some good news! Mary and Kell are encouraged after a long, hard weekend.

This morning, when the nurse tried to awaken Alex, he immediately openned his eyes and began to look for Mary. He is reponding to questions, even talking a little bit and is resting very peacefully! YEAH!!!!

Medically the updates are:
*Alex will have a bone marrow aspiration today at his bedside.
*Mary will undergo another round of being "pheresised" tommorrow morning at 10:00 a.m.
*Plans are underway to begin a NEW medication for the virus.
*Alex will NOT be given Mary's granulocytes today, so that the WBC will give them an accurate reading for Alex's blood tonight.

Uncle Teddy and Nana arrived on Sunday to be with Mary, Kell and Alex for a few days. Uncle Peter and Aunt Lynda arrived on Sat. and will return home on Monday afternoon. They all were able to celebrate Taylor's 16th birthday with a cake before Kell and Taylor came to Baton Rouge on Sunday evening. (His birthday is Wed., March 31st) Taylor will be staying with the Kearneys for the week. Kell is returning to Duke on Monday evening. (He's trying to find a quicker flight but plans are now for a 7:00 p.m. departure.)

Prayer requests are specifically for:
1) Alex to continue to rest peacefully
2) New medication to wipe out this ugly virus
3) WBC reading to be increased tonight
4) Peace for Taylor as he is away from mom, dad and Alex
5) Renewed peace and strength for Kell and Mary
6) A quicker flight for Kell

Thanks again to all who have come along side the Johnsons through this horrendous journey. They covet your prayers, your support and your love. Their desire is that God Almighty continue to be glorified in all that is said and done. May we all look expectantly to the miracles that God is doing even as we speak.

For the Johnsons,
Kay Wallace

Saturday, March 27, 2004 5:16 PM CST

Alex had another chest xray today to determine problems. It looks the same as before, however, they don't know whether its additional fluid or infection. At this point, the doctors have decided to treat Alex for both. He had some heart fluxuation yesterday, but this was determined to be air pockets in the chest tube. There is no overall improvement currently, but Alex is resting comfortably and is not in much pain.

Tenative plans are for Kell and Taylor to fly home tomorrow (Sunday) with Kell returning to Duke almost immediately. Kell's sister and brother-in-law arrived today.

The new development is that Kell and Mary are both being tested for compatible bone marrow for Alex. Although they were not compatible before, the doctors are seeking to find the closest of the two to aid in Alex's recovery.

Kell has asked that we all pray specifically for:
1) White blood count to increase
2) The virus to be resolved
3) No additional infection
4) Improved lung activity
5) Peace for Taylor as he returns to Baton Rouge
6) Faith, Peace, Strength, and Wisdom for them all
7) Kell and Mary are EXTREMELY WEARY and desperate for some good news.

Please join with the body of Christ in prayer and belief that the Lord knows just what Alex needs and His desire is to provide the very best for Alex. We ask God Almighty to pour out His peace and protection on the Johnsons as they journey down this very difficult road and may He continue to be glorified.

For the Johnsons,
Kay Wallace

Friday, March 26, 2004 8:04 PM CST

This morning for the first time, Mary was able to be "pheresised" (giving blood to be processed to remove the granulocytes for Alex). Upon her return to Alex's room, she was greeted by Rodney Wood, a pastor friend from Baton Rouge. Kell, Mary and Rodney had a great visit this afternoon complete with a sweet, precious time of prayer over Alex. Kell and Mary were very encouraged.

Shortly after Rodney left, the doctors requested a meeting with Kell and Mary. The medical team is concerned about a slight change in the amount of fluid around Alex's lungs and his breathing pattern seems to be a bit more labored.

Therefore, a call to the troops to PRAY! Specifically,
1) that the white blood count would increase
2) that the problem with Alex's lungs would subside
3) that peace would prevail over the entire Johnson family
4) wisdom for the doctors
5) that God would be magnified through all that is said and done as the Johnsons walk down this very difficult road.

For the Johnsons,
Kay Wallace

Thursday, March 25, 2004 9:22 PM CST

Mary's "central line" procedure went well today and she is back in the room with Alex now resting comfortably. She was delayed until late afternoon getting to surgery, but it all went very smoothly and she's very excited about being able to give Alex a part of her blood,(granulorcytes) beginning tomorrow morning. She will give the blood twice a week. (Actually they take her blood, process it to take out the gran. and give it right back to her.) Then Alex will receive a portion of the gran. every 6 out of 7 days. This will enable him to fight off any fungal or bacterial infection IF he should get one.

Alex had a very restful, peaceful day. He currently has NO fever and is responding quite a bit to Taylor and Mary. Praise the Lord!

Kell, Mary, Alex and Taylor are all enjoying their time together. Big plans are underway to celebrate Taylor's "16th" birthday this weekend. They are also excited about Uncle Teddy and Nana coming on Monday, March 29th for a few days.

Kell and Mary are so grateful that Alex's doctors are taking a proactive approach with Alex's treatment. They ask that we continue to pray for these doctors and nurses wisdom, as they seek to provide the best medical care for Alex.

Please continue to pray for the white blood count to increase, and that peace would prevail over the entire Johnson family. Kell and Mary continue to lift up their eyes to the Lord and their desire is that God Almighty would be glorified.

For the Johnsons,
Kay Wallace

Wednesday, March 24, 2004 8:56 PM CST

Kell and Taylor arrived safely in Durham this afternoon. Kell and Mary met with the doctors who were very supportive. Alex needs the white blood cells to grow to fight the virus. As a preventive measure for any possible future funigal or bacterial infection Alex will receive granu