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Hanna's Page 
Welcome to Hanna's Web Page. Hanna was diagnosed with Wilms' Tumor stage 4 on August 13th, 2004, she was 4 years old. She underwent chemotherapy for 2 months and had surgery to remove her right kidney and the tumor on Oct. 29, 2004. She then had chemotherapy and radiation until March 2005. She relapsed in April 2005 and had surgery to remove lesions in both her lungs. Hanna then went into prep chemo for a stem cell transplant that took place on August 22, 2005 at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville. Seven months after transplant on March 22, 2006 Hanna relapsed again with a tumor growing in the original tumor spot. After surgery to remove the tumor it was found to not be attached to any organs and intra- surgical radiation was performed on the area. Hanna relapsed again one month after surgery in her right lung and liver. Hanna was cared for at home with all the love and compassion that we could give her, she passed away on June 16, 2006. Please say a prayer for our angel, she fought hard.
Journal
Thursday, August 24, 2006 2:38 PM CDT Although I have written out a journal for Hanna's visitation and funeral, it doesn't seem to say all that I want to say. So for those who were there we thank you for supporting us and helping us to celebrate Hanna, for those who didn't make it, we thank you as well because we know that Hanna and our family have been thought of and prayed for often.
We have always said how proud we are that GOD chose us to be Hanna's parents, with everything that we had to face we would take it over and over just to get to hug and love her. If we had known what our lives were to become the day that Rob and I met I wonder if we would have turned and run. I thank GOD everyday for being left in the dark, because without the knowledge of our future we may have missed out on not only 6 1/2 years with an angel, but all the true, unconditional love that we have for each other and our children. We wouldn't know the darkness that love can bring you through, and the joyous light of that same love.
Through all our tears, sorrow, and heartbreak there is one thing that keeps us going. It is the knowledge that no matter how sad, or heartbroken we are, no matter how much we miss Hanna's laughter, hugs and smiles. She is in perfect body, in a perfect Heaven. Hanna will never face another surgery or scan, she will never take another drop of medicine or a shot, she will never 'not ' be allowed to do what she wants to do. And although we wonder what her life would have been, we know what her life was and she deserves so much more than what it gave her.
In Dave Stone's message at Hanna's funeral he spoke of how we come to this day full of questions, 'How did this happen ?', 'It should not have happened to a child ', yet we could also ask, ' How did this child touch so many lives?', ' How did this child face all she faced with more courage than an adult could have shown', ' How could a 6 1/2 year old child have so much love and compassion that she would collect and donate toys to other children even in her time of illness?'. These are the things we hold onto. Rob and I always knew that it was our love for Hanna and her strength that carried us through everyday of her fight, now we are left with that same love and her strong spirit to get us through each day. One of the things that we have come to realize is that even though our tears will continue through the years Hanna would never want or expect us to drown in our grief. I remember asking her one day why she never cried, her answer was pure and simple. She said ' why, it doesn't change anything ', how true are those words. We could cry until we were useless to anyone, but she would still be gone, or we can take her spirit and do the best that we can for those that we love and those who love us.
After Hanna's death, when we met with Dave Stone he asked us to describe Hanna for him. At the time I couldn't even remember my own name so that question was hard. But later, actually after her funeral, I remembered these words - Beauty, Courage, Inspiration - they happened to be words that hung on Hanna's wall that I had gotten for free at the wallpaper store months before she relapsed. Dave Stone had noticed the words in Hanna's bedroom and playroom and spoke of them at her funeral. Now I think if I had to describe Hanna those would be the words I would use - Beauty, Courage, Inspiration -. They are written on her headstone.
This journal was started to help us relay information to friends and family, we had hoped that we would close with a happy ending, print it and have it for Hanna so that she could learn to understand all that she had gone through and all the love and support she had recieved. Now, with this last journal entry I hope to show Sarah, and any other children that we are blessed with how amazing and courageous Hanna was, and how loving and caring others can be. It was always meant to be a positive statement of Hanna, and I hope that this entry has helped to make it just that.
We thank each of you for sharing our journey with us, our family continues to be uplifted by your prayers, friendships and emails. Hanna will always be our mischevious, caring, loving, beautiful, adventurous butterfly. She will never leave our hearts and the day that we enter Heaven and can wrap our arms around her once again will be a joyous day indeed. And all the questions that we have here will not matter. Rob says that ' although our grief will go on a lifetime, when we get to Hanna it will seem to her as if we were only gone an instant.' Believing that and that our daughter no longer suffers makes our sadness and pain more bearable.
GOD Bless our Butterfly
Give Her the Strength to Fly
Never Let Her Wings Touch the Ground
GOD BLESS YOU ALL,
Rob, Jen, Angel Hanna, and Sarah
Read Journal History
Hospital Information: Heaven
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