THE BIG "C"
by Kathy Cawthon, Survivor

"The big "C" I heard someone call it,
Another just whispered the word,
That we don't even dare to say "cancer" out loud
Gives it power it doesn't deserve.

So I'm giving that letter new meaning
And refusing to give in to fear
By reclaiming the power for you and for me
And by saying these words loud and clear:

Let the "C" be for "Cure" and "Compassion"
Let it stand for the "Candles" we light,
And a "Chorus" of voices shouting, "You Can!"
To all who will take up this fight.

Let the "C" be for "Cash Contribution"
("Credit" or "Check" will work, too)
Let it stand for "Committment" and
Checkups" and "Cheer",
And for the "Children" "Counting" on you.

Let it mean that we know our "Creator" is beside us each step of the way,
And remind us to "Call" on His strength and His love,
And to "Celebrate" every new day.

To everyone facing this "Challenge",
I say it's a fight we can win.
Tell all who will listen that, starting today,
The "C" is for "Courage", my friend.

Journal

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 10:28 AM CST

The following is the speech that I made at Gunner's End of Treatment Celebration. I wish that everyone who has supported us could have been there. So since not everyone was able to attend, I thought that I would post the speech here.

In honor of Gunner we were able to raise a little over $1200 for Camp Quality,(a camp here in Kansas City for kids with cancer and their siblings). This is enough to send one child to camp this summer for the week. We were very pleased with the amount. So for those of you that donated, Thank You.
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First off let me start by saying that I am doing two of the hardest things right now. 1. talking in front of a group and 2. talking about Gunner’s diagnosis. We are celebrating Gun’s end of treatment and how each and every one of you supported him and our family through the longest 3 and half years of our lives. In the beginning I never thought we would be here, but here we are and I am very happy that all of you can be here with us to celebrate this very huge milestone in Gunner’s life.

So, the first people that we have to say thank you to, is our parents and to our families. We could not ever repay you for everything that you have done for us. All the support you gave to me and the kids while Mark was deployed to all the love and support you offered not only to Mark and I, but to Gunner, McKay and Josie and then to Taggart. I ‘m not going into detail, because I would bore everyone here, but you know how much you gave and sacrificed for our family. Just know how much we love you all.

The definition of a friend: A person whom knows one well, a person on the same side in a struggle, a supporter, someone that is helpful and reliable. You carried us when we couldn’t go on, you gave us a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen. You prayed for us, you gave us strength, hope and love. We love all of you!

Love thy neighbors. You all did and have. We couldn’t ask for better neighbors. You stood beside us and you helped take care of us when we didn’t have the courage to ask. And so for that, Thank you.

The folks at JE Dunn. We greatly appreciate all the things that you have done for our family. Allowing Mark to take off from work when we were either inpatient or at clinic. For helping us out with meals or gift cards, visiting us in the hospital and for being such huge supporters in the leukemia and lymphoma society. Thanks for all your support over the years.

To The Marines. Semper Fi, for those of you that don’t know what that means, it means always faithful! You guys hold true to those words. You mean so much to Mark and to our family. Let me just tell you even though you already know, it was very hard for Mark to come home from Iraq and leave you guys all there. He still struggles with it. We all know that home is where he needed to be. But for him to have to leave his brothers to continue to fight without him and come home to help Gun fight was one of the hardest decisions he has had to make. I was amazed at your support for our family even though you were fighting a battle of your own. The bond that you all have is amazing, something that most of us here aren’t lucky enough to know. So thanks for everything, fighting for our country, putting up with Mark and most of all praying for Gunner.

Now for the staff at Green Springs. We are so lucky to be apart of this school and to have such great teachers and staff. Mark and I always laugh at how Gunner really has you all fooled. We only wish he acted at home as he does here at school. Thanks for all the extra things that you have done for him over the years, like making sure everyone sanitizes their hands when they come into the class, making sure that he has his own set of art supplies, letting him eat during his steroid phases, letting him rest when he needed to, and always letting me know when there are sicknesses going around the school. It may be little things to you, but for him and for our state of minds, they are huge!

I don’t think I can even express how much my family personally appreciates the wonderful volunteers and staff at Camp Quality. You guys are the real heroes. You are the real meaning of love, compassion, selflessness, strength and charity. You give your time, energy and love for these kids and their families. And in return these kids get a childhood filled with good memories. Camp has been great for Gunner because he is able to be with other kids that aren’t any different than him. They have been through the same battles, lived in hospitals and have had the innocence of childhood stripped from them. But through your camp…he is able to be normal. For McKay she is able to with other siblings that have been in her shoes as well. Both of my kids have made friends for life through camp. Gabe, I just want to tell you thank you for being apart of Gunner’s life and making camp a blast for him. He looks up to you like a big brother… minus all the fighting. And if for some reason in the next 10 years, you aren’t able to attend camp…well, just be prepared to meet Gunner on the wrestling mat!

McKay and Josie. Daddy and I couldn’t be more proud of the two of you. Gunner is very lucky to call you his sisters. You guys have put up with so much from him and you let him have it when he deserved it. Cancer or no cancer, you kept him in check and reminded him that he is still your brother. However, I know that it has made you better people and someday you will make great mothers with all the love and nurturing that you gave to Gun when he was really sick. You didn’t ever complain about having to give up things that you wanted to do because his counts were too low. You accepted that there were just times when Gunner came first. You were even okay with being passed around from family members to friends when we were in the hospital. Our lives got completely turned upside down and you both took it with such grace and dignity. You are the best daughters that anyone could ask for. We love the both of you.

Taggart, even though you don’t have a clue as to what our family went through before you were born. I do have to tell you that because of Gunner’s illness our family grew so much more in love, that we were blessed with have you to share life with. From the day that you were born, Gunner was your biggest fan. You gave him something to work at…being a good role model to a little brother. You look like him and you definitely act like him too…, but it’s ok, we still love you.

Last but not least Gunner. Dude, you have been on your own set of terms since you were a baby. You knew how to push all the buttons, especially mine and your dads. Your hard headedness and perseverance has paid off. One of the nurses said it best, “With a name like Gunner, cancer doesn’t stand a chance.” You fought hard, you beat it and you won the hardest battle I hope that you will ever have to fight. It has been a long and at times bumpy road but you never not one time acted like cancer was getting the best of you. You always had your game face on. Just like when you were 4 yrs old and a little girl asked her mommy why you looked different. At that time you were sporting a very pudgy face and a beautiful bald head. Her mommy was horrified. She tried to hush her daughter in hoping that we didn’t hear, but you did. And in a mater-of-fact voice, you said, “I have cancer…but it’s okay, you don’t have to feel sorry for me.” At that point I knew that if you felt that way, then I should too. And I knew that together we would fight and win. We love you buddy and we wish you a long life full of health.

We have received so much over the years, from meals, to gas cards, gifts for the kids, taking care of the girls when we were inpatient or at clinic, filling the house with food when Mark and I were stuck in the hospital, coming over in the middle of the night to stay with the girls when Gunner ran a fever and had to go to the hospital, mowing our lawn, shoveling snow, providing hotel rooms for our family, coming to visit Gunner in the hospital, taking McKay trick or treating to ensure that she would have a good Halloween when Gunner was too sick to go out, sitting with Gunner in his hospital room so Mark and I could have a break, walking with us in Light the Night, donating to different causes in Gun’s name. The list goes on and on. For everything, thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Tonight is not only a celebration for Gunner, but a celebration for all of you as well. Each and every one of you holds a special place in our hearts. We will be forever grateful. So here is to Gunner’s health, and to everything you have done to help us get where we are tonight! Thanks for being here. We love you all.

Hospital Information:

Patient Room: HOME

Childrens Mercy North
2401 Gillham Rd
Kansas City, MO 64108
816-460-1044

Links: