CaringBridge^TM
Guestbook

Thanks for visiting our guestbook!
(This is an open guestbook.  Please feel free to add an entry to the guestbook for others to read.)

**** IF YOU DON'T SEE YOUR ENTRY AFTER ADDING -- PLEASE CLICK ON RELOAD/REFRESH ****
*** AOL Users:  The AOL browser seems to have particular problems reloading after this page is updated.  Your Entry is probably already there - you are just not seeing it.  Close your screen completely and re-enter it.***

Click here to sign the guestbook.

Click here to go back to the main page.

Just stopping by to say



to you,

Love Viks

I was posting this picture on Cassie's site, and thought I would swing by your page to say "hello" although i dont know if you still read here.

Lots of love

Viks

www.postpals.co.uk

For Sweet Zack

Princess Elizabeth and I send our love.

HAPPY EASTER LOVE WWW.POSTPALS.CO.UK

Dearest Family,
I have been thinking of you and your Angel today. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find peace and comfort in the beautiful memories of your precious child in heaven.
God Bless you all,
Island Princess

Butterfly Island

Remembering Angel Zack and his family this holiday season. You are in our prayers for a Blessed holiday.

Just here to send our love and to let you know you are in our prayers and thoughts. Even thought your Zach is now in heaven we pray for him and your family every night.

Best wishes, Angela, Lindsay, and the Hayne Train.

Im sending all my love to you all,

Love

Viks

Hello, just dropping by to send a hug to you









Love Viks on behalf of everyone at Post Pals

Thinking of you this Easter, Love everyone at Post PAls

im sure you must get bored of hearing it, and i wish i could find something more orginal to say, but i AM thinking of you,






Love viks from BWC and Post Pals

- Monday, November 24, 2003 10:32 PM CST

---

Dear Becky, Mike and Jacob,
This is the first time I think I have ever in my life responded to a stranger. The poem on your home page is one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. God has taken your sweet angel Zachary to a better place, and has blessed you with love, patience, a kind heart, and the loving memory of Zachary. I would like to share a piece of my heart with you:
My name is Rich Allison. My daughter Zoey Marie was born on 10/31/03. She was diagnosed with stage 3 hepatoblastoma on 11/14/03. At her 2 wk checkup her pediatrition ordered an ultrasound when she noticed one side of Zoey's tummy was hard, the other side soft (that combined with my wife and my concern that her arms and legs were very skinny while her tummy and chest seemed, in comparison, abnormally huge. We were referred to the University of Iowa hospital for a ct scan after the ultrasound came back showing an "unidentifyable mass in her abdomen". The ct scan confirmed our worst fears; our baby had a softball size tumor on her liver. Post biopsy diagnosis: Hepatoblastoma stage 3. The regimen right now is 4 rounds of chemo followed hopefully by resection and 2 rounds of chemo. She has completed her first rnd of chemo and is crying a lot and in obvious pain (from what we don't know). Her afp pre-chemo was 330,000+.
I want to talk to you about something other than hepatoblastoma though. Before my Zoey was born my wife Beth was a devout Christian trying to help me to deal with my doubts and understand why God allows sufferring and eternal torture (hell). When she was pregnant she prayed every single day for a quick delivery and most of all a healthy baby. But there was one other thing she prayed for, that her agnostic, lost, confused, selfish husband (me) would find the grace of God. I had made 'efforts' to go to church, pray with her, until I finally told her I didn't wan't to hear anymore. When my daughter was diagnosed I hated God. I thought he was out to get me. A couple of days ago I did what I hadn't done before in my whole life, said a prayer straight from the heart. At first it was anger. Then it was "Why have you done this to us?". Then I had a thought: If it wasn't for God, would I have the most beautiful amazing woman in the world? Would I have the cutest, smartest 2 1/2 yr old (my son Nick)? Would I have the most pure form of innocence in my angel Zoey? So I began to thank God; for everything I had taken for granted for years. Then I started feeling bad for things I have done, people I have used, and taking for granted my wife's incredible love, support and forgiveness. As I started confess my sins and tell God I was sorry I could feel my heart begin to warm up as if God himself put his hand on it and assured me that everything was going to be okay! It is absolutely the most amazing, incredible thing I have ever felt in my life! It was then that I thought maybe God didn't desert my family, and I after all. Maybe he was still answering my wife's daily prayers.
I now feel like a different person. I have started feeling so much love, and appreciation for what I have. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I really feel blessed for what I have. I am amazed at the tremendous out- pouring of love, faith and support from family, friends, even strangers and oh yes, God too!
I'm sorry for your terrible loss. Your poem and story has touched the depths of my heart. I will pray for your Zachary and you all. Please know that I honestly believe God has used my daughter, my wonderful wife, the love of so many other people (including your family) and this whole nightmare to save my soul!
The doctors gave Zoey a 75-80% chance, but I truly believe with all of my heart that Zoey is going to fully recover! I'm sorry for being so long winded, and I hope this does not upset you, since your son did not make it, but these are life changing times for me and I wanted to share them with you. Thank you for sharing and for listening. I will say a special prayer for Zachary and your family. E-mail- BethanyinIowa@yahoo.com. We are on yahoo messenger chat line- Bethanyiniowa. If these are wrong I'm sorry, my wife is the computer user. You can use the cancerkids message board also to contact me. Under hepatoblastoma 'just diagnosed'.
God bless your family,
Rich, Beth, Nick and Zoey
Rich Allison <Bethanyiniowa@yahoo.com>
Iowa City, Ia USA - Monday, November 24, 2003 7:38 PM CST

---

Hi honey. It's Grandma again. 13 months ago today, you earned your wings. Grandma is missing you more and more each day. Mommy misses and loves you too, so very much. There isn't a day that goes by that your name doesn't come to mind.

Jake is getting so big. He has that way that you did when someone would tell you no. You would wrinkle your eyes, scrunch up your nose, and look like someone had hurt you. Then you would open your eyes to see the effect it had on the one saying no. Your little brother does the same thing.

I do miss you buggs. So much. Your birthday is 8 days away. Please make sure you help mommy through.

I know you are around. Little things like your kitty NeeNee. She is a handful. She reached up trying to get her treats and took her paw and pulled my full glass of water ontop of grandma. Reminded me of you trying to reach your M&M"s one time and did the same. NeeNee knows when grandma is feeling low, missing you, too. She will come out of nowhere, curl on my lap and reach up to my cheek where the tears are falling. I feel in away it is you through her, that is brushing my tears away.

Honey, grandma needs to go now. I love you and you will be forever in my heart; always. I know you hear me when I talk to you. I will post again in 8 more days. Watch over us Buggs.

Grandma kisses--mmmmmmmmmwwwwwwaaaaaaaaa. I LOVE YOU ZACK
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Thursday, November 20, 2003 3:19 PM CST

---

Hey Girl,
This is the first time that I have visited Zack's page. I read from you so many times on the other site. I have been sat here reading your journal, and I have to say that my heart really goes out to you and your family.

I am so sorry, I have no words to comfort you, nothing I could ever say will ease what you and your family must be going through.

You will always be in my prayers

God bless you

Love

Jacqui n Michelle
http://www.caringbridge.org/europe/jacqui

jacqui fray <ladyslix@hotmail.com>
liverpool, United Kingdom - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 7:02 PM CST

---

Hey Girl,
This is the first time that I have visited Zack's page. I read from you so many times on the other site. I have been sat here reading your journal, and I have to say that my heart really goes out to you and your family.

I am so sorry, I have no words to comfort you, nothing I could ever say will ease what you and your family must be going through.

You will always be in my prayers

God bless you

Love

Jacqui n Michelle
http://www.caringbridge.org/europe/jacqui

jacqui fray <ladyslix@hotmail.com>
liverpool, United Kingdom - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 6:56 PM CST

---

I came across your website while reading about a little boy in my hometown that passed away this weekend. The courage and strength that you and the other parents have during these times is amazing. I often wonder where God is when these little babies are hurting and when they pass on. And today, after reading these stories I've come to believe (have to believe) that he is with you...the parents. I'm glad you are still writing about your beautiful son. I would love to hear more about him if you ever want to "talk" about him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Norma Rems <normateresa@yahoo.com>
Castro Valley, CA - Monday, October 27, 2003 6:36 PM CST

---

There She Goes Again

Oh, there she goes again!
Mom is just staring
at my photograph.
While I wish she could
hear my voice;
She wishes she could
hear me laugh.
Her heart goes to a place
too many other
mothers have been.
Somewhere a heart repairs.
Oh, there she goes again.

Another night up until dawn.
She watches the sun rise;
While she longs to feel my touch,
I long for her to know who
dries her teary eyes.
I've heard my Mom say
her world stands still.
But really it's in a spin.
Oh, I know how she feels.
But, there she goes again.

Oh there she goes again.
My Mom holds my photograph.
While she longs to hear my voice ...
I long to hear her laugh.
And though her heart is broken,
her smile is like back when.
My Mom appears to Mothers
as a fighter like no other.
Oh there's nothing like her grin.
There's no one like you, Mom.
Oh, there she goes again.
Oh yes, she holds my photograph
and longs to hear my laughter.
I calm the fear of a heart within ...
And will do so each day hereafter!
Oh but, there she goes again.

~Author~
Kaye Des'Ormeaux
Copyright 2001
All Rights Reserved


Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Sunday, October 26, 2003 0:57 AM CDT

---

Hi, I am a good friend of Janine Bryan (Angel Matthew Bryan's mom). Janine has shared your story and website with me and I just wanted you to know that you will be in my prayers. Matthew and my only child Correy were born just six weeks apart and ever since Matthew was diagnosed, the fear that I feel after watching what Janine, Cooper, and Matthew and other families just like you have gone through is indescribable. I will continue to pray for God to give you the strength to make it through each day until you are reuntied with Zack! Oh what a glorious day that will be.
Marleta Menzel <Marleta_Menzel@RSAUSA.com>
Charlotte, NC USA - Wednesday, October 22, 2003 9:15 AM CDT

---

Sweet Zack,

I remember One year ago today reading your website and finding out you had become an Angel! It is hard to imagine.... I know your Mommy and Daddy and Grandma are sure missing you! Send them some of your special signals so they will know you are still with them forever and ever!
Cathy Wiggins <Mommy2Dev@msn.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Monday, October 20, 2003 8:45 PM CDT

---

Becky,

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. May we all someday find peace.

Karen White
Mom to Angel Paige 3/1/96-9/22/01
Karen White <kswvwhite@aol.com>
Naperville, IL - Monday, October 20, 2003 4:16 PM CDT

---

Well, Buggs,

It has been 1 year ago today at 11:16am that you earned your angel wings. Oh, Zack, I miss you soooooo much. Grandma went through this last week remembering every moment I spent with you. You are sooo loved, little man. Linda Hill wrote another poem for you for your "angel day". Matthews mom, Janine, wrote me a beautiful letter and she called Matthews anniversary as his Angel Day. I thought that sounds good.

Mommy and daddy and Jake went to see your place and went to breakfast at American Kitchen to remember you. You loved going to breakfast with mommy and daddy there.

Aunt Connie, Uncle Tom, Cayla and Nathan are moving to Wisconsin this Thursday. We will miss not having them near.
They love you so much, Zack.

Uncle Nick and Uncle Josh miss you too. Please watch over us all and help us through this time of rememberance. It is very hard on all of us, but especially your mommy. She loves you so. Have fun with all the little angels that have joined you. There are a couple of them that will be headed your way, especially Jarod(Jaydog) who will be joining you soon. Show him around, ok. Tell your Great Grampa happy 90th birthday from all of us here. Give Great-Grandma and Grandpa a big hug and a kiss. I miss them so.

Well, Zack. I am going to close this now. It was exactly 1year ago @ 11:37 that your mommy called to tell me you earned your wings.

Grandma Kisses hunny, mmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaa

Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Monday, October 20, 2003 11:39 AM CDT

---

Thinking of you all today and can't imagine the rollercoaster of emotions you must be on. It's been a year and I don't know if the pain is getting any better but I pray it is. It's also been 1 year that little (or not so little) Jake has been a binky baby! Sorry about that! Well, I hope everyone is doing ok and that you will be able to smile a little today.
Lori, Jack and familyJACKS SITE <marklori5@msn.com>
Franklin, Tn - Monday, October 20, 2003 10:12 AM CDT

---

Becky, Mike, Jacob and Angel Zachary
You will be in my thoughts and in my prayers this week.
Harri, Mum to angel-girl Lowri <timvdw@kcbbs.gen.nz>
Auckland, New Zealand - Sunday, October 19, 2003 5:19 PM CDT

---

Stopping by with knowing(I use to say "understanding" but NOBODY can understand this)hugs and tears as the anniversary of Zachary's Homegoing draws near. I CAN assure you that he IS in the "bestest" place but YOU are not in that place so, while this truth fills our hearts with hopeful joy, it does little to diminish the pain of this emptiness that will only be filled when they are in our arms again. Praise God Who has touched this sorrow with His blessed, blessed Hope! May our Lord's and Zachary's presence be made known to you in a very special way.
Yolanda Rogers, Mom to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com - <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 3:10 PM CDT

---

Zachary is a precious angel and my heart goes out to you. It is so hard I know as I lost my 3 1/2 year old son, Patrick, Oct 21, 2000. He had a brain tumor and fatal radiation complications. I agree, our sons should still be in our arms.
Janet Robertson <moms121angel@comcast.net>
Fraser, MI USA - Sunday, October 19, 2003 10:53 AM CDT

---

Hi becky
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and Zack this week. I hope you are doing ok.
Lori, Jack and family <JACKS SITE">JACKS SITE>
Franklin, Tn - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 10:58 AM CDT

---

I have been talking to Beth your mother,, and she directed me here to this wonderful tribute to Zack, I have found it lovely to share in his memory, and the picture of Zack is such a treasure to see.
I have had similar tragedy occur to me,, but not on the same scale, ie losing a child, it was my sister angela that I lost when she was just 27 yrs, I know how hard it is to come to terms with loss, and I wish you a speedy recovery, you'll never forget but one day like me I hope you will be able to think of all the joy he brought with a smile on your face, just looking at him brought a smile to mine,,, he is such a lovely looking lad.
James Hall <james12329@aol.com>
Manchester, England - Sunday, October 12, 2003 6:28 AM CDT

---

Just stopped in to let you know your in my prayers. What a nice poem. I am sure that is what he would say. (www.caringbridge.org/va/maxie/)
Christy <IMAQT430@aol.com>
Amelia, VA USA - Saturday, October 4, 2003 2:02 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you all! and sending LOTS of Prayers!
Cathy Wiggins <Mommy2Dev@msn.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Monday, September 22, 2003 10:33 AM CDT

---

Hey Buggs,

Wow, baby, it has been 11 months today, since you earned your wings. I miss you more and more. Mommy, Jake and I are going to the NCCS Walk For The Children in your memory. Please continue to watch over your mommy and little brother. Don't forget Uncle Nick, Uncle Josh, and me. Nini is having fun with Champagne. Your kitty will alway be with me. I know she knows you are around. I know you've greeted alot of little angels in the last 11 months. I send you grandma kisses. Judy and I stopped by last week. I love you, Zack. You'll be in my heart--always.
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Saturday, September 20, 2003 7:01 PM CDT

---

peace be with the child and may god bless him
Dennis ( th" Bear ) Bryant <clevis_49@yahoo.com>
me waldo - Monday, September 15, 2003 1:46 AM CDT

---

HI, Zack!!! Grandma sends "grandma kisses". You would be sooooo proud of your little brother, Jake. He is walking all over the place. He is only 13 1/2 months old, and already has his 2 yr. molars. What a ham he is. He purses his lips just so and boy do I see you shining through. I know you are watching over him. Sometimes when I babysit, I hear him talking in his crib and start laughing. I have a feeling you are there entertaining him. Watch over your mommy and daddy. Help them get along for Jake's sake.

We miss you sssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooo much Buggs. In three weeks, mommy and Jake and grandma are going to St. Louis for the NCCS walk for the children. That is if grandma is better. I am fighting an infection that none of the dr's can figure out. If I get a good report before the walk, then grandma will be there.

I love you, honey. I am sure you know not a day goes bye that I don't think of you or talk to you or cry because you are not here. Nini cuddles when I get really sad about you not being here. She climbs up and rubs her head under my chin and purrs. My tears stop and I focus on your favorite kitty.

Missing you so much baby. I love you. "You'll forever be in my heart-always"

Love Grandma
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Saturday, September 6, 2003 12:23 AM CDT

---

Please know that others are praying for you. I have been there and i know its hard, it does get easier as the years go by but I know it takes a long long long time.
Sharon <mopgal@hotmail.com>
Dardanelle , ar - Friday, September 5, 2003 9:58 PM CDT

---

Stopping into check on each of you!

Know that you are in my heart and prayers!
Cathy Wiggins <Mommy2Dev@msn.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Tuesday, September 2, 2003 11:20 PM CDT

---

Becky
just wanted to stop by and say hi and see how you were doing and how Jake is. I am looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks in St. Louis.
Lori <marklori5@comcast.net>
Franklin, Tn - Monday, August 25, 2003 10:39 AM CDT

---

Becky,

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. Please feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk even though we don't know each other. You are not alone in your pain.

Karen White, Mom to Angel Paige (Wilms' Tumor)
Karen White <kswvwhite@aol.com>
Naperville, IL - Friday, August 22, 2003 6:29 PM CDT

---

Hi, Zack. It has been 10 months ago today that you gained your wings. We miss you Buggs. They put your headstone in last week. It is very nice. It even has a carving of a matchbox car on it.
I miss you more and more each day. I keep looking at pictures of you. It makes me happy. Aunt Connie had Jake's 1st birthday pictures. Mommy took some home with her. I guess I end this. Grandma is on medicine that makes me very sleepy and I keep hitting the wrong keys.

Love Grandma Boyer.
Beth Boyer1 <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Thursday, August 21, 2003 0:08 AM CDT

---

Hey Sweet Zack,

Thinking of you today up there in Heaven! I hope you have found my little friend Luke!! I bet yall are having a blast playing and running! The way it should be! I bet it is beautiful!
Cathy Wiggins <Mommy2Dev@msn.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Sunday, August 10, 2003 1:20 PM CDT

---

I am always thinking of ou guys. Take care.
Cheryl <carpathienblue@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, July 29, 2003 11:51 AM CDT

---

Hey Zack. Grandma wanted to share something with anyone who checks your web page.

This is Destiny's Place. Gidget does wonderful dedications and the graphics are beautiful.
http://www.destinysplace2002.com/index.html

Gidget did a dedication to you, Zack. The picture even reminds me of you.
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/gidge29/zack.html

I love you honey. I miss you so. I pray that Luke Ervin finds peace soon. You will have another little angel in your heavenly playground.

Love,
Grandma Boyer
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Thursday, July 24, 2003 4:41 PM CDT

---

Hi Zack. Grandma here. Today your baby brother turns 1 year old. I know you are watching over him. I talked to mommy today, and she said he slept late and when she walked into his room he was just lying there and talking (baby talk of course). I kind of smiled and thought maybe you stopped by to wish him a happy birthday. It is hard to believe he is 1 year old.

I talked about you to him, and he will know all about his brave big brother. We love you and miss you. We all knew something was missing on Saturday when we celebrated Jake's birthday. It was you, Buggs. But I felt you were near.

I also had a dream the other day about you. It made my day complete.

Love ya, honey.

Grandma kisses to you. MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwha.

PS. Keep an eye out for Luke Ervin. He is leaving this world soon and may need a guide up there. Let him know he is so loved by so many.
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 11:24 AM CDT

---

Hi, honey.

It has been 9 very long months without you. We celebrated Jakes birthday yesterday (his real one is on Wednesday) I found a little teddy bear sitting in a half box. On the front it read, "angels are everywhere". I got a card and signed it "Always know I am with you and I love you. Your Big Brother Zack.

I love you and miss you Buggs.

Love Grandma Boyer
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Monday, July 21, 2003 2:09 AM CDT

---

I just wanted to say hi. I wish I knew how to ease your pain.
Cheryl <carpathienblue@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, July 20, 2003 11:36 PM CDT

---

Hey Zack-

Just a quick note to tell you Hi! and I am sending lots of prayers for your Mommy and Daddy and Little Brother Jacob and Grandma Beth! Boy, I bet they sure are missing you!! Send them a little hug and let them know you are ALWAYS near!

Beth-

Thank you so much for all the prayers for Luke Ervin! I do check Zack's page everyday and signed up on Chubby Chica and adopted him! But, I am also Luke's Chemo Angel! Thanks for all the post's and for praying for him! He is so special!! I still beleive that God will heal him but just in case, I know him and Zack will make good friends and I hope he is there to meet him and show him around!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 11:03 PM CDT

---

Just checking into see how you all are doing! Hoping things are going good!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Thursday, July 10, 2003 1:43 PM CDT

---

Zack,
You were a very brave boy.I am Jacks cousin that just stopped in to say hi.

Josh Riss <joshedup43>
Latham, Ny U.S.A. - Thursday, July 10, 2003 9:04 AM CDT

---

Hi Buggs!

Happy 4th, buddy. I thought I had posted on the 4th, but I guess it didn't register. I stopped by that day, as you know, and I felt comforted talking to you. I was hoping your headstone would have been put in by now. Mommy is checking into that this week. This year, at least you could watch the fireworks. Seeing it from a different view must have been strange. I love you honey. Grandma misses you soooooo much.

Grandma kisses.


Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Monday, July 7, 2003 9:20 AM CDT

---

This poem is beautiful... Enjoy

"I Cry"

I Cry not for you, but I Cry for me.
I Cry not because you are gone from me, But because you left me behind.
I Cry because, I don't know the beauty and love that you feel and see.
I Cry not because I think your sad, but because I am sad.
I Cry not because the love is gone, but I Cry because my love for you is so strong.
I Cry for me because I wasn't quite ready to give you up.
I Cry not because your not here with me, but because I'm not there with you.
I Cry not that your soul was lifted up to heaven.
I Cry because you left us here on this earth so full of emptiness without you.
I Cry for me every time I think of you.
I Cry for your Dad and your Brother.
I Cry for all of those who loved you so dearly.
I Cry not for you, for where you are.
I Cry for us, for where we are, and that we are not with you. Every tear drop that falls from my eyes, are tears of joy and of gladness that you were such a wonderful part of my life.

I Cry not to be with you, to experience the beauty, the splendor, and the abundance of things wonderful. To know what it's like for everything to be simply perfect.....................

by: Nancie L.White Walkinbeauty


Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Thursday, July 3, 2003 3:12 PM CDT

---

Becky
Happy Belated Birthday. We are settled here in Tennessee and Jack just had his first MRI here and the results were just what we wanted he hear. Nothing has changed since the last one 3 months ago. We are so relieved. I am so excited you are going to the NCCS walk in St. Louis. We will definately meet up there. I am happy to hear that Jake's AFP is ok. I hope everything is going well with you. I always check here for updates but I know it has to be hard so I thought I would stop in and say hi and let you know I think of you often.
Lori <marklori5@comcast.net>
Franklin, TN - Monday, June 30, 2003 12:53 AM CDT

---

Becky,

It is hard to believe that Jake turned 11 months old yesterday. It was good to get his AFP results of 11.4 back.
Funny, we got the results back on his birthday.

Zack keep watching over your baby brother. He needs an angel to watch over him.

Grandma kisses. I love you and miss you soo.
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Tuesday, June 24, 2003 3:19 AM CDT

---

a friend
- Saturday, June 21, 2003 5:47 PM CDT

---

Well, Buggs, you earned your wings just 8 months ago yesterday. We miss you sooooo much. Mommy and I are going to "Walk For The Children" in St. Louis, in September. Your buddies Jack,Dylan,Grant and their mom and dad went last year. This year when we go, it will be in your memory.

Remember your "where's my face" expression you use to do? I think your brother is picking up on it too. You would be so proud of your brother. He is starting to talk, nothing that makes much sense, except momma and da. But he's getting there. I know you are watching over us all. Please keep special watch on Jake. Though you won't be here physically as a big brother, I know you are in heaven. We are still waiting on the results of his latest AFP.

Grandma loves you little guy. Grandma's kisses.

Grandma Boyer
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, Illinois USA - Saturday, June 21, 2003 11:10 AM CDT

---

Far, but Near
by Peggy Werner

You may be gone, but I know that you are near.
I can sense your spirit when an answer comes
To a long, drawn-out question
That has weighed heavily on my heart.

When I feel the darkness in my soul fading,
And when I muster up a little strength to go on,
It isn't like it used to be when I could hear you laugh,
See you smile, and catch the twinkle in your eye.

I want to reach out and hug you,
But it's then that I have to listen to another ear,
See with different eyes and feel another touch.

Because it's a powerful spirit that now surrounds me,
So full of love and help and healing, as always,
But now in a different way.

You may be gone, but I know you are near.


I thought you all might like this! Remember Zack will ALWAYS be near you!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Fort Worth, TX - Friday, June 20, 2003 10:15 AM CDT

---

Cheryl <carpathienblue@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, June 19, 2003 7:41 PM CDT

---

BECKY,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY. BY THE WAY, THE OTHER DAY, (JUNE 17 TO BE EXACT) WHEN YOU ASKED ME "IS THERE SOMETHING I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU", I KNEW IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY. I MEANT TO POST SOMETHING THAT DAY, BUT RAN OUT OF TIME. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. WAITING TO HEAR ON JAKE'S AFP RESULTS. PRAYING THAT THEY ARE NORMAL.
LOVE MOM
MOM <BETHCOUNTRY54@AOL.COM>
JOLIET, IL USA - Thursday, June 19, 2003 3:34 AM CDT

---

Hi Becky. I hope that you are doing ok and I just want to let you know that Dawn and I haven't stopped praying for you and your family. Please stay strong. Jade is doing good. It has been 15 months since she was diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma and she just had her first normal afp test (6.7) She turned two on March 9th. We are so lucky that her pediatrician felt the hard spot on the right side of her tummy. I wish that things could have been different for Zack. Hang in there, Jake needs you.
Dennis Collins <djcis1@sbcglobal.net>
Hainesville, IL USA - Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:34 PM CDT

---

Hi Becky. I hope that you are doing ok and I just want to let you know that Dawn and I haven't stopped praying for you and your family. Please stay stong. Jade is doing good. It has been 15 months since she was diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma and she just had her first normal afp test (6.7) She turned two on March 9th. We are so lucky that her pediatrician felt the hard spot on the right side of her tummy. I wish that things could have been different for Zack. Hang in there, Jake needs you.
Dennis Collins <djcis1@sbcglobal.net>
Hainesville, IL USA - Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:31 PM CDT

---

Hiya, im from the UK. I had a cancer scare earlier this year, fortunately i was ok. I have always readthese stories and found them so touching, i cry when i read them. God Bless you son, may he rest in peace. Jus tremember when you look at the stars, the brightests one will be him.
Louise Jane <licklelou1988@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, June 15, 2003 2:07 PM CDT

---

Hey Guys!

Just stopping in to check on you all! Sending lots of hugs and prayers!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Friday, June 13, 2003 10:39 AM CDT

---

I HEAR EACH TEAR FALL ON HER FACE

My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.

She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.

I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.

But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?

I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.

Oh I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
- Friday, June 6, 2003 5:02 PM CDT

---

Hi Becky,
My son Tyler passed away on the same day as Zack. He was 2 1/2 years old. He was diagnosed April 8, 2002 with a very rare malignant brain tumor called Atypical Teratoid/Rhabdoid Tumor(AT/RT). Even though they told us from the beginning that the prognosis was very poor, we held on to our faith and never once felt we would lose him. They told us even with treatment, life expectancy was 6 months to a year. When my son took his last breath is when I realized I would no longer be able to hold him again. I was confused, I questioned my faith, I was angry with God, and my husband and I had very hard times. I was told all that I was feeling was normal. Well here it is 7 months 1 week and 1 day later and I still feel like a huge part of me is gone. I know that some people say "time heals all" or "it gets easier with time". I don't feel like that is true. And you may feel like I do. It doesn't get easier for me, I just try to find ways to get through each day, one day at a time. My other children help tremendously. I do know God helps me through every day and it does comfort me very much to know that one day I will see him again. Until then, I can definetly rest assured that he is wrapped in the arms of our Lord and I know there is no safer place for him to be. Also, Beth told me something that made me feel very comforted...she said "they went together". It makes me feel better to know that he had a "friend" with him. I will always remember you and your family in my prayers and thank God for the strength he gives us each day. Have A Blessed Day.
Trish Powe <trishpowe@hotmail.com>
Sulphur, LA USA - Wednesday, May 28, 2003 1:48 PM CDT

---

Thinking and Praying for you all!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Tuesday, May 27, 2003 11:03 AM CDT

---

Hey little Angel, grandma sure misses you. Today is Memorial Day. It has been 7 months and 6 days since you got your wings. Not a day goes by, that I don't think about you. Jake is getting so big. He's taken a few steps and he just turned 10 months old 3 days ago. He has your smile.

I'll be going to the cemetary today. Be sending some balloons your way. I love you Zack. Never forget how much you are loved. You touched so many people during your courageous fight, and continue to touch even more now.

Hold a place in heaven for grandma. Will see you when God calls me home.


Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Monday, May 26, 2003 7:13 AM CDT

---

I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN. I CANT IMAGINE WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH. MY DAUGHTER, PAIGE HAS BONE CANCER..SHE IS 11. TRY TO BE STRONG & WE WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. I EMAILED A LETTER TO YOU TODAY ALSO.

www.caringbridge.org/oh/paigehaney
Tina Haney <justthe3ofus@spii.net>
East Liverpool, Oh USA - Sunday, May 18, 2003 9:51 PM CDT

---

Becky,

Thinking of you and praying for you! I know you are going through so much right now and it seems it is NEVER going to end! I am praying that God feel you with peace and comfort!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDwiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Thursday, May 15, 2003 10:01 AM CDT

---

Hi Becky,
This is Tina from the Family Forum of Care to Share on NCCS. I am a good friend of your mother. She is a wonderful person and she has helped me alot. She worries about you so much. My son has Hepatoblastoma stage 2 and his has come back. The journey you went thru, I know so well, but the journey you are taking now, I do not. When I talk to your mother and she tells me how much pain she sees you in, my heart aches for you. I read your last post and it made me cry. You have beautiful children, Zack reminds me of Kenton. I am sure your mother has told you about him. I don't know what to say to you to ease your pain and I know that there is nothing that can be said to ease your pain. When I lost my mother, the pain cosumed me. I would lock myself up in the bathroom several times a day and cry till I threw up. I wanted her back with me so bad. The only thing that pulled me out of that hole, was Kenton. He was diagnosed 7 months after my mom passed. I had to focus everything in me on that. In time, the pain eased up, but never fully went away. She has been gone now for 3 1/2 years. It still feels like yesterday. I know losing your child is not the same, but the pain sure feels the same. I can only say to you that I hope in time ahead that it will get easier to cope with. Focus everything on Jake and yourself. You are absolutely right about listening to yourself about knowing your child. Doctors are not always right. I know from experience myself. You are not being a paranoid mother if you feel your child is sick and the doctors don't believe you. I fully agree!!
Becky, I know it is hard for you at times to talk about everything, but, if you ever want to talk to a stranger, your mother has my phone number and email address. Sometimes, I find it easier to talk to someone I don't know than to talk to my loved ones. I will keep you and Jake in my prayers.

All of our Love,
Tina and Kenton
Tina Haygood <haygoodt@aol.com>
Deatsville, Al usa - Sunday, May 11, 2003 4:32 PM CDT

---

Becky
I hope you enjoy the picture on the front. Call me before next week. I don't know where to reach you anymore. I don't have your cell#. We are leaving on the 16th.
Talk to you soon

Lori
- Wednesday, May 7, 2003 8:21 PM CDT

---

Thinking and Praying for you each this week!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDwiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Tuesday, May 6, 2003 2:58 PM CDT

---

I found your website on Justin Byrce's site. I totally agree with what you wrote about the Doctors. We as parents have to pursue anything we think is not just right. I have found so many people say the same thing as you have that they are so quick to dismiss things before really following up. I hope this message gets to other parents out there. May God be with you during your daily struggle and help you come to terms with everything you need to in order to concentrate on the good, happy times.
Karen Patterson <Pattersonspub@msn.com>
New Castle, DE - Tuesday, May 6, 2003 1:53 PM CDT

---

I love this website. http://sharmilashankar.tripod.com/sharmila
Sharmila C S <scorpio@christ.com>
MA, MA INDIA - Tuesday, May 6, 2003 4:38 AM CDT

---

Our son passed away on 11/30/02. He was only 5 years old.
April 30th was such an overwhelming day to me...the 5 month mark.
I just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you and your family.
Much Peace, Prayers and Hope for a cure for all childhood cancers
Ruthie (Seth's mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/sethlovestrains <Rbunkmann@msn.com>
North Palm Beach, Fl - Friday, May 2, 2003 4:45 PM CDT

---

Words From An Angel


I have not turned my back on you,
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from Heaven,
Just beyond the morning sky.
I've seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand.
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And watched him take your hand.
He told me you are in more pain,
Than I could ever be.
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch,
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me,
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky,
A rainbow lights the way.


Author Unknown
Cathy Wiggins
- Wednesday, April 30, 2003 7:21 PM CDT

---

Their Journey's Just Begun


Don't think of them as gone away,
their journey has just begun.
Life holds so many facets,
this earth is only one.


Just think of them as resting
from the sorrows and the tears,
in a place of warmth and comfort,
where there are no days and years.


Think of how they must be wishing
that we could know, today,
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.


And think of them as living
in the hearts of those they touched
for nothing loved is ever lost
and they were loved so much.

Author Unknown

Thinking of you as always!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDwiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 5:58 PM CDT

---

Hi Becky,

Just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.
Karen White <kswvwhite@aol.com>
Naperville, IL - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 9:48 AM CDT

---

Your story touched my heart. Always keep your faith and treasure the wonderful memories. I will pray for you.
Susan Elias
Roanoke Rapids, NC - Friday, April 25, 2003 11:23 PM CDT

---

You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Friday, April 25, 2003 1:50 AM CDT

---

Well, Buggs, it has been 6 months today since you got your wings. Another holiday another 1st without you. I miss you soooo much, Zack. You passed on your great-grampa Everts' 89th birthday, your 3rd birthday fell on Thanksgiving, and today is Easter Sunday. I am going to the cemetary shortly and send some balloons your way.

Jake is getting soooo big. When he laughs, he reminds me of you. I think his dimples are a little deeper than yours, but he resembles you alot.

I love you, honey and miss you lots. Happy Easter, Buggs. Watch over us all til we meet in heaven.

Love Grandma Boyer
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Sunday, April 20, 2003 6:26 PM CDT

---

I am not sure what to say, as I dont want to pretend to even begin to imagine what you are going through. But I wanted to drop by and extend my condolences and wishes that Zack is pain free and at peace, looking over you all.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Saturday, April 19, 2003 1:03 AM CDT

---

Mother's Heart

I loved you from the very start,
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.
Our life together has just begun,
You're part of me my little one.

As mother with child, each day I grew,
My mind was filled with thoughts of you.

I'd daydreamed of the things we'd share,
Like late-night bottles and teddy bears.
Like first steps and skinned knees,
Like bedtime stories and ABC's.

I thought of things you'd want to know,
Like how birds fly and flowers grow.
I thought of lessons I'd need to share,
Like standing tall and playing fair.

When I first saw your precious face,
I prayed your life be touched with grace.
I thanked the angels from above,
And promised you unending love.

Each night I laid you down to sleep,
I gently kissed your head and cheek.
I counted your little fingers and toes,
I memorized your eyes and nose.

I lingered at your nursery door,
Awed each day I loved you more.
Through misty eyes, I dim the light,
I whispered "I Love You" every night.

I loved you from the very start,
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.
As mother and child our journey's begun,
My heart's yours forever little one.

Author: Teri Harrison


Thought you might like this poem!! It reminded me of you and how much a good mother you are!!

Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Wednesday, April 16, 2003 10:50 AM CDT

---

Dear Hostad Family,

You are in my thoughts and prayers constantly!! I know you miss Zack terribly!! You are such a STRONG mother and I know Zack is watching over you!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 10:42 AM CDT

---

I love the photo of your son. And My praywer are with your family. God bless you and your family. Isaiah 40:31

Here is an poem you will love at http://www.byhislove.com
called Baby angels
Miss Davis
Morehead, NC USA - Saturday, April 5, 2003 11:31 PM CST

---

BECKY, JUST DROPPING IN TO SAY HELLO AND THAT WERE THINKING ABOUT YOU, MIKE, JAKE, AND ZACK.
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Saturday, April 5, 2003 2:10 PM CST

---

Thinking and Praying for you this week!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Sunday, March 30, 2003 11:14 PM CST

---

Dear Becky and Mike,
Thank you for sharing your precious Zack with us. I just wish there were words that could ease the pain you are feeling. I understand the pain as I too lost my precious son, Adam at the age of 12( http://www.adamkevinkidd.com ) It is amazing the courage that our children show through all they have to deal with. We too went to "Give kids the world" they are so awesome, caring and compassionate. I know you are so new in your grief, time does help and remember you are not alone in this journey. It truly does make a difference to share your stories with others. Your little Zack is in good company up there in Heaven.If you ever want to write please feel free to email me any time..

Susan <akkidd@pacbell.net>
Santa Rosa, Ca USA - Sunday, March 30, 2003 12:54 AM CST

---

Becky
Please don't ever feel that you make anyone uncomforatable by talking about Zack. If anything, it is the opposite. I know that I would never want to upset you so I don't know if you are ready to talk about him or if you want to at that moment. Please feel free to talk about him anytime you want. If you're okay with it, I certainly am. He was a very special kid and I am glad I got a chance to know him and all of you. No matter where we live, I will never forget him.
Lori <www. caringbridge.org/il/jackryan>
Aurora, Il - Thursday, March 27, 2003 0:22 AM CST

---

We understand, and there aren't words. Everyone needs to understand that you will never be the same people you were. John and I have found a great support group that meets the first Monday of each month. When we went there, it is hard to explain, but we felt "safe". These people do know what its like and they radiate love and support. Feel free to call, I'm embarrassed to say I lost your number. Love and strength to you all. Angela Riley
Angela Riley <rileysnuthouse@yahoo>
Plainfield, - Sunday, March 23, 2003 8:01 PM CST

---

Hey Becky,

Know that you are in my prayers!! I know the pain is unbearable and the most heart wrenching pain you have ever felt. I am so sorry; if you ever need a "stranger" to talk to please let me know!! Sometimes it helps to let all of your anger and pain out!! Now that if you need anything please let me know. Even if it is just a quick prayer!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Saturday, March 22, 2003 10:55 PM CST

---

I read your entry and your pain is so clear:( I wish there was something we could do to make you feel better. Please seek God he is the only one that can give you the peace you need, I don't know why he didn't heal Zack but I do know he loves him and is taking care of him know. The time we have here on earth is nothing compared to the time we have in eternity with him and our deceased loved ones. Look forward to that time, it will eventually come. Then you will hold your precouis Zack again. I will pray that god give you the comfert you need. God bless you
.
- Friday, March 21, 2003 1:04 PM CST

---

Dear Becky,

I am so sorry for all of the pain you are feeling. One thing that I want you to know is that although the pain will never go away, it does ease somewhat. My 5 year old daughter Paige has been gone for 18 months and it is so weird. I have an older daughter Kate who is 9 and she struggles greatly with missing her sister. They were best friends. I talk about Paige CONSTANTLY to anyone who will listen. I am so terrified that people will forget Paige. That is one of my greatest fears.

As far as thinking that you smelled Zack yesterday, you probably did. Paige loved eating cinnamon toast for breakfast and every so often I will be upstairs in my bathroom getting ready for the day and all of a sudden I will get a huge whiff of cinnamom toast. I swear it's Paige making it for herself. People who are lucky enough to have not lost a child don't understand the reality and comfort of these smells.

After Paige died, I felt like she was lost somewhere calling out to me. It was horrible. I just couldn't be sure she was in Heaven and ok. I felt like she was looking for me and was scared. I was beside myself with pain over this. It took me several months to finally believe with all my heart that she is safe and HAPPY in Heaven.

I hope it is ok that I am writing this - I just remember how alone I felt after Paige died. I wasn't involved in any cancer websites (I didn't even know about them until after Paige died) so I had no one to talk to who could relate. The only people who can understand the darkness we are in are those who have experienced it. So I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your pain.

Karen White
Karen White <kswvwhite@aol.com>
Naperville, IL - Friday, March 21, 2003 10:25 AM CST

---

I came across your website in loving memory of Zachary and wanted to stop and tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. I wish so much that I had some magical words to help ease your pain, but I dont. Nobody does...but I will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. I have a childrens memorial for children who have passed away from childhood disease and if you would like a star in memory of Zachary I would be honored. You can take a look at the website and let me know. Again...I am so very sorry for your loss....Praying that God's love will be a source of comfort and strength to you - now and in the days ahead…
Heavenly Lights Childrens Memorial
http://www.heavenlylights.homestead.com

Laura/Heavenly Lights Childrens Memorial <heavenlylights@charter.net>
mn USA - Thursday, March 20, 2003 6:06 PM CST

---

Well honey, it has been 5 months ago today when you got your wings. I miss you more and more each day. I especially miss my "grandma faces" you use to give me. I have a few pictures of that silly face. I love you so much, Buggs. Grandma Hostad gave me a dvd of 6 different slideshows of you with various people. I will treasure it always. I find it hard at times to view it. I now have labeled my bad days as BZD's.(Bad Zack Days) I sometimes find myself in the middle of something, and start crying cause I miss you so much. It has been 1 year and almost 2mos. since you were dx'd. How fast this last year has gone.

Your baby brother is growing so fast. Jake now weighs 21 1/2 pounds and is 28 inches long. He also has 6 teeth and isn't even 7 months old! He looks so much like you and even has your laugh. He is also very tickelish, just like you were. I love you honey. And miss you more and more.

Save a place up there for grandma, ok? I hope when my time comes it will be you that meets me there.

Watch over all of those that are in the military. They are fighting to keep us free and safe.
Love ya.Grandma Boyer.
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL Proud USA - Thursday, March 20, 2003 2:16 PM CST

---

Dear Becky,

I recently found your website (I don't remember how) and wanted you to know that if you ever want to e-mail me for support, you are more than welcome to.

I lost my 5 year old daughter Paige to Wilms' tumor 18 months ago. The pain of losing a child is incomprehensible. I read your journal entry and directly related to some of the things you said. Paige's room is still exactly how she left it (including her sock drawer which she "organized" just days before she died!). I go into her room often to cry or just sit and think about her. Paige is never off my mind - not even for one second. I find that the people who bring me the most comfort are those that have also lost a child to cancer. My friends are very well-meaning but few truly understand my pain. Many think that because it has been 18 months since she died, I should be "doing better" by now. What they don't realize is that the pain NEVER goes away - you just learn to live with it.

Anyway, feel free to e-mail me for support.

Karen White
Karen White <kswvwhite@aol.com>
Naperville, IL - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 4:45 PM CST

---

So sorry to hear you are having a hard time!! i can't even begin to imagine your pain but, know that you and your family are in my toughts and prayers!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Sunday, March 16, 2003 10:35 PM CST

---

I am not sure how I stumbled upon your wensite, but after reading your entire site...I feel like I am reading my own words...my own feelings. I am so sorry for your loss, what a beautiful little boy Zack was, amd what a wonderful set of parents he has. I know what you are going through...I lost my baby on July 22, 2002. His ninth birthday...Tyler John McGrath. He was diagnosed with Leukemia on April 18, 2001...he relapsed on March 1, 2002...and went down hill from there. I did everything possible for him. Just as you did for Zack...but it still does not heal the pain. People tell me everyday that time heals everything, my response to this is...there is no healing from losing a child. Nothing will take that pain away. These little boys were our hearts...with arms and legs...but they are together now...as our precious guardian angels.

Vicki tj4ever@northnet.org
Lowville, NY - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 8:38 PM CST

---

Dearest Becky,

Island Princess here. I felt a need to come tonight and see how you are doing. I am praying that the GOOD times keep flooding back and all the bad memories are pushed back in your mind. We all know your Angel is watching over you and with his help you will find all of those wonderful memories that were shared as a family. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
With was hugs of comfort,
Island Princess
Island Princess <mooks@bellsouth.net>
- Sunday, March 9, 2003 9:41 PM CST

---

Thinking of you and your family!!

Knowing that Zach is watching down over each and everyone of you!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Sunday, March 9, 2003 1:35 AM CST

---

Thinking of you and your family!!

Knowing that Zach is watching down over each and everyone of you!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@aol.com>
Saginaw, TX - Sunday, March 9, 2003 1:35 AM CST

---

I'm lost for words right now and just want to say you are in my thoughts and prayers. I miss my little Justin more than words could ever express and my heart ahce will be with me for a life time as I'm sure it is the same with you with Zack. God bless you and your family.

Mary Bryce <marybryce2002@aol.com www.caringbridge.com/ny/justinbryce >
Greene, NY US - Tuesday, March 4, 2003 8:42 AM CST

---

Becky: I was looking (and crying) while reading over old guestbook entries in my daughter Meghan's caringbridge page when I came to your entry. I know that I came to your site back when you originally posted to Meghan's site, but felt compelled tonight to come back and see how you're doing. I feel exactly as you do. How in the world will we ever survive this pain? I've heard people do it, but I don't think I can. Anyway, I wanted to let you know I'm still checking in on you, and if you ever feel the need to talk, please email me. You and your family are in my prayers. PS: Thank you for mentioning Meghan on your page.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Monday, March 3, 2003 6:45 PM CST

---

Becky I am so sorry for your loss.
It has to be overwhelming.
Such a beautiful little boy, I will never understand this.
{{hugs and prayers}}

Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Saturday, March 1, 2003 7:30 AM CST

---

Hi Becky
We haven't talked in a while so I thought I would leave yo a note to let you know I was thinking of you and I hope Jacob is all better. One of these days we will get together when there is no snow or sick kids!!
Lori <www. caringbridge.org/il/jackryan>
Aurora, IL - Friday, February 28, 2003 1:21 PM CST

---

Well, Buggs, It has been 4 months and 2 days since you got your wings. Grandma misses you so much. Your baby brother is getting so big and he looks so much like you. Uncle Nick and Uncle Josh miss you too.

Jessica, a moderator on NCCS (National Children's Cancer Society) sent me a beautiful e-mail yesterday asking me to become a moderator on this site. I graciously accepted. I will be the moderator of the grief/bereavement segment of the board. She said she was looking for someone special to lead this particular forum and she chose me. It is because of you, that I am able to empathize with these people. I care about the other children having to fight this fight. You taught me that. You taught me how each day is a blessing and never take it for granted. You taught me to cherish the memories we make every day of our lives. You also taught me that although your body is no longer here, your spirit and the love you had will live on forever. Thank you, Zack, for teaching me these things. I want you to remember how much you were and still are loved by everyone whose lives you touched. And, honey, they were in the thousands. I love you beyond measure. Death has only separated us for a time, until we meet in heaven.

Blowing you grandma kisses.

Love Grandma Boyer
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Saturday, February 22, 2003 9:32 AM CST

---

So sorry for your loss. It has been a lousy year for us CaringBridge families.
I am so disgusted with seeing all these kids affected with cancer and what, its like an epidemic lately.
Chris ~ Gooch's Site


- Friday, February 21, 2003 10:30 AM CST

---

Hello Hostad Family,

Thinking and Praying for you all this week!! I hope yall are staying warm!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@msn.com>
Saginaw, TX - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 4:14 PM CST

---

Hi,
I truly know what you are feeling ,my son Jimmy has crossed over due to the same cancer and on April 10th it will be a year and the thoughts of him are with me 24-7 .
I go to work every day and I think it helps mentally but I still take the long way home to let it all out.I was told that if I cried in remembering my sweet Jimmy then it is not really remembering him because then you would smile so I really try to just remember him..This really helps me
All thru Jimmys treatments he never had a down moment and I thank god for that - the last 4 days were so unfair to him but he was at home on his blues clue pillow and he was comfortable that is where he would have wanted to be.Jimmy smiled, played and laughed every day and this is how I choose to remember him .I know he is watching and he would not want us to be sad but be happy for the time we had together.I remember when Jimmy would see in my face sadness at 3 years old he would say " You happy mom ? " and I would say " Yes , because of you " and he would smile and say "Thanks " so I still can be happy because of him..
Remember Zach as I know your family does but just him..
Marlene <Mdh1778>
Wayne, NJ USA - Sunday, February 16, 2003 10:46 AM CST

---

Hi Angel Zach,

I am Jacks big Cousin and would like to say what a brave little boy you are by putting up with all your troubles.You were very brave....

Josh(Jack Howards Cousin)
Josh Riss <Malibubeacher234>
Latham , N.Y. U.S.A. - Saturday, February 15, 2003 4:58 PM CST

---

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ZACK. I miss you so much, honey. I try to think back to all the good times we were able to shared. I miss "grandma's face". Elmyria, Judy, Ida, Sarah and I miss you at our bi-weekly lunches. You were such a little man and so loved. They miss you too, honey. Remember that grandma loves you very much and I will see you as soon as God feels my job is done here. You will always be my special Valentine. I LOVE YOU BABY.
Forever in my broken heart.
Grandma Boyer
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Friday, February 14, 2003 4:26 PM CST

---

Becky and Family,

I am thinking and praying for you this week!! I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now. It is very understandable and I pray that you will once again have hope and peace!! I am so sorry for your loss!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@msn.com>
Saginaw, TX - Wednesday, February 12, 2003 11:07 PM CST

---

Becky: Thank you for visiting my daughter Meghan's website. As we prepare for her funeral Thursday, I am still in shock and disbelief that she is no longer here with us. It is unimaginable that I will ever be able to be happy again, although we are trying so hard for Meghan's big brother's sake. Tommy Lee was, and is her knight in shining armor, and I always said they were like peas and carrots. I can't imagine them without each other. Anyway, sorry for my rambling. I'm sorry that we had to meet this way. Zack and Meghan are probably playing and laughing together at this very moment. I try to find some comfort knowing she's not alone in heaven. Unfortunately, there are far too many angels up there waiting for her. My prayers are with your family.
Carolyn Mack (Meghan's Mom) www.caringbridge.org/fl/meghansjourney <tmcmbm@aol.com>
Titusville, FL USA - Tueday, February 11, 2003 8:55 PM CST

---

Just checking in on yall!! I think of you and your family often and can not even imagine what yall are going through. I know your pain is unbearable!!

Please know that you all are in my prayers!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@msn.com>
Saginaw, TX - Wednesday, February 5, 2003 11:19 PM CST

---

I am so very sorry about the loss of Zack. He is such a handsome little boy. Our son had a liver disease from birth, however the doctors did not know what caused it or how to correct it. We literally lived in and out of hospitals up and down the east coast seeing many specialists and still, no answer. When our son was finally listed to receive a liver, he developed a fungal infection in his bloodstream and well... he had already defied death on three other occasions. His little body just could not endure another fight. I know how hard it is to see your child hurt and suffer. Watching our son's skin turn from pink to yellow, seeing so many lines and leads come from him and not being able to hold him, seeing the look of hurt and pain in his eyes were all so hard for all of us becasue we knew that this was no boo-boo that we could kiss away. It has been nearly one year since our "little man" left, and I still wake up every morning looking for him to be laying in his crib beside me. I will pray for your family during this difficult time in your lives. Always cherish every moment together.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Wendy Baber <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC - Wednesday, February 5, 2003 1:24 PM CST

---

Oh! My dear God! It's with tears in my eyes that I write this.... You signed my guestbook and I checked out your web site. What a sad thing to lose a son. He is so handsome with those big brown eyes. I know there is nothing I can say to ease the ache in your hearts. All I can say is that I'm so sorry to hear of your lose. I can just imagine the pain you went through. I know from where I speak with baby Shiloh who is still in a coma from a near drowning. I know that Zack is no longer in pain and is happy with the angels but, I also can just imagine the emptiness you are feeling.
Please accept my sincere sympathy. Thanks for the prayers and words of encouragement concerning Shiloh.
Love and peace, Maggie ((~.~))
Maggie <openarms@ainop.com>
- Sunday, February 2, 2003 10:52 PM CST

---

Dear Hostad Family,
Just want you to know that you are in my family's prayers. Our daughter Rebekah will be 2 1/2 on Valentines. She is currently in remission (hepatoblastoma)since she was diagnosed at 1 year of age. We are thankful for each and every day. Thank you for sharing your son with us. You have been an encouragement to all with children fighting this disease. We pray the Lord will give you extra strength.
Toni Mason
Toni Mason <staklm@hotmail.com>
Somerset, KY USA - Monday, January 27, 2003 at 08:03 PM (CST)

---

My name is Linda and I just wanted to say I am so sorry you lost your presious son. I don't know the pain you are going through but I understand it. You see I lost my nephue to cancer last Nov. He was 7, his name is Hunter. He was diagnosed at 3 and fought a great battle!

Just wanted you to know that you are thought of and in my prayers.

Linda Fly (Alis Hunters Aunt Linda) <meflybaby2000@yahoo.com>
Elizabeth City, N.C. USA - Saturday, January 25, 2003 at 11:41 PM (CST)

---

Mike and Becky, I know it must be tough, but I'm glad to hear that you are trying to deal with this the best you can. I think that it is a good thing that you are able to watch the videos of Zack. He would want you to, I'm sure!!!
Don't let your memories of him fade. Good luck with Jacob and his tests. Also thank you for thinking of Jade. We appreciate it.
Dennis
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, Il. U.S.A. - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 02:06 PM (CST)

---

"You're braver than you believe.
Stronger than you seem.
And smarter than you think."

-Christopher Robin

So glad to see your update!! Your family is always on my mind and Zack will forever be in my heart~

Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@msn.com>
Saginaw, TX - Friday, January 24, 2003 at 10:01 AM (CST)

---

It has been 3 months ago yesterday, honey, since you got your wings. We miss you so much, Zack. I look at all the prayer requests I made when you were sick almost everyday. I look at the e-mails sent to me letting me know how much you were loved. People from all over the world were praying for you. Linda Hill has written such beartiful poetry in you honor, and she continues to write them. I know in my heart of hearts, that you are whole again and laughing and playing in heaven. But the broken part of my heart misses you horribly. They say it gets easier every day, but you can't prove it by me. Maybe years from now, I will be able to deal with this better. I love you, Buggs. Please watch over your baby brother, as it is getting closer to when they do his AFP test. He will be 6 months old in 2 more days. Come visit. I know you have already, but don't stop. Grandma Hostad gave me alot of pictures of you with Uncle Nick, with Uncle Josh and with me. I will treasure them always.

Your brother is getting so big. He now has 4 teeth and wears a size 4 shoe. Watch over him, Buggs, and protect him. You are his gaurdian angel, you know.

I love you and miss you. I will be stopping by to see you soon, honey.

Love you
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 01:17 PM (CST)

---

Hi Hostad Family, I don't know you, but I know that happy thoughts are always a good things I wanted to drop by to give you some. I'm trying to raise awareness to sites like yours so that more people will check in and give you love, prayers and support.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Adopt a Kid (Click on Caringbridge!)

Amie <webmaster@chubbychica.com>
South Windsor, CT - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 11:03 PM (CST)

---

I have been coming to your site for some time now and wanted your family to know they are in my prayers!! I hope you had the best Christmas in Heaven!!
Cathy Wiggins <JCDWiggins97@msn.com>
Saginaw, TX - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 01:51 PM (CST)

---

Just wanted you to know how sorry I am for your loss. I don't have any wonderful words, just prayers that I say each day for your family. God bless you all. With big hugs and love,
Krista Iverson <krista.iverson@gepex.ge.com>
Ottawa, IL - Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 01:48 PM (CST)

---

Sending much love,hugs and prayers for your sweet family.
Lynn
www.caringbridge.com/pa/jessiespage, PA - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 10:32 AM (CST)

---

I found your web page on Lori's Jack. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet son.God bless his little heart.

Blessings,
Bonnie, grandma to ^i^ James forever 14.5 dx T-cell ALL Leukemia 12/15/98 ~ 12/19/00 <http://www.caringbridge.com/page/jamiebowman>
Columbus, Ohio - Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 12:23 AM (CST)

---

Hi Becky
It's been a while since we talked so I just wanted to stop in and say hi. I hope you enjoyed the holidays with Jacob. He is probably getting so big! Take care and I will talk to you soon.
Lori <www. caringbridge.org/il/jackryan>
Aurora, IL usa - Monday, January 06, 2003 at 08:40 PM (CST)

---

Merry Christmas, Zack. We sure did miss you. We all went to Aunt Connie's Christmas Eve. It was hard with you not being there. Cayla misses you terribly. We all do. I had a very hard time on Christmas Eve. Your grandma Hostad gave me beautiful memories of you in pictures. Beautiful but it made me kind of sad too.

I didn't get to your grave yesterday, but I am going today. Jake spent the night last nite with us and is still sleeping. He gets upset sometimes, I think because he misses you. He woke up around 3am and the only thing that would comfort him was when I rubbed his head gently til he fell asleep.

We love you, Buggs. You left a very big hole in our lives. The only consulation in you not being with us, is I know you are whole again. You have found a peace we can only dream one day of acheiving. I am trying sooo hard to make sure I stay on the right path so I can see you again.

Know, too, that we love your little brother with all our hearts. He is God's special gift to us all.

I will stop by this morning to visit, though I feel much closer to you here at home than where you were laid to rest. I love you, baby. Continue to watch over us all, especially your buddies who are still fighting this monster called CANCER, and you baby brother.

Love,
Grandma Boyer, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Josh
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL Will - Thursday, December 26, 2002 at 08:22 AM (CST)

---

Hi everyone
I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. I hope you had a great time watching Jacob celebrate his first visit from Santa. I'm sure it was a very hard day and I pray for you all the time for continued strength.
You have had the worst year possible, I hope this year will bring you lots of happiness.
Merry Chistmas, Zack!!! Thank you for watching over Jack. We got wonderful news on Monday, his cancer has not come back. It has been 6 mths since he finished radiation. I am glad that you are now cancer free. But we wish it could have been here with us. We miss you.

Lori Howard and family <www. caringbridge.org/il/jackryan>
Aurora, IL usa - Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 08:18 PM (CST)

---

I am so sorry that Zach couldn't stay for Christmas.It was hard for me and my fmily when Eion died and we miss him alot but these awful things happen and it is sad to let someone go like thet I couldn't stop crying!Zachary got me a grade at school we have to do an article every week and my article was based on him.
Ellie Riley <Rileysnuthouse@yahoo.com>
Plainfield , IL - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 01:23 PM (CST)

---

Zack,

It has been 2 months today since you got your wings. We miss you, honey. Your baby brother looks so much like you. The only difference-Jake's eyes are bright blue where yours were velvet brown. He comes to visit grandma, usually once a week. He even giggles like you. Two days ago he cut 2 teeth. Not a day goes by that you are not thought of.

Two more angels headed your way. Their name's are Ashley and Josh. Your cousin, Tracy, owns "Just Kiddin Around", a daycare in Dwight, Il. Ashley and Josh attended her daycare. Watch over them, Buggs. Show them the wonders of Heaven.

We all love you so much and miss you beyond words. You will be forever in our hearts.
Grandma Boyer, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Josh. <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL Will - Friday, December 20, 2002 at 05:15 AM (CST)

---

Hi Becky
I prayed that you were able to enjoy yourself on Zack's birthday and remember all of the happy times and not too many of the sad. I thought of you all day and still do. I am sorry for your pain. I will talk to you soon.
lori <www.caringbridge.org/il/jackryan>
aurora, il usa - Saturday, November 30, 2002 at 07:52 PM (CST)

---

I TRIED TO SIGN IN YESTERDAY TO WISH ZACK A HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MY COMPUTER WOULD NOT WORK. SO I AM GIVING ZACK A BELATED BIRTHDAY WISH. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE MAN. THINKING OF ALL YOU!!!
LAURA <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 04:26 PM (CST)

---

Happy Birthday Zack! Many are thinking of you forever and always. God bless you little angel! Happy b/day!!

Your Friend,
Shannon
shannon <www.caringbridge.org/page/johnrussell>
Eden Prairie, MN - Friday, November 29, 2002 at 04:25 PM (CST)

---

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY ZACK

Honey, we miss you so much. Celebrating Thanksgiving today, at first seemed so hard. But when I thought about it, I can honestly enjoy it. I am thankful for the time, though too short, that God allowed us with you. For your baby brother, Jake. For your mom, Uncle Nick, Uncle Josh, Aunt Connie, Cayla, and Nathan. I know by now you have met up with all our relatives that have gone before you. I hope you enjoyed the many balloons that we sent to you today. (and the big smilee face one we put on your grave)
We love you and miss you sooooooooooo much Buggs. Keep making your visits to us.
Love, Grandma Boyer, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Josh
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 05:55 PM (CST)

---

Happy 3rd Birthday Zack. Just want to let you know that we're thinking of you on this special day.
Dennis, Dawn, Kevin, Cassie and Jade
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, il usa - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 11:43 AM (CST)

---

Zack
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I hope you are having a big party, not just today but every day. Everyone here misses you.

Becky
I'm sending you hugs from New York today. You are a great friend and I know today will be extremely hard for you. Just know I am thinking of you all today and I am thankful that we met and that we got a chance to know Zack.
Lori <www.caringbridge.org/il/jackryan>
Aurora, Il usa - Thursday, November 28, 2002 at 10:12 AM (CST)

---

Please, don't ask me
Author: Rita Moran

Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never be over it
Please, don't tell me he's in a better place
he isn't with me
Please, don't say at least he isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up
Please, don't tell me at least you had her for so many years
What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear
Please, just tell me you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please, mention my child's name
Please, just let me cry.

Angel Hugs
- Tuesday, November 26, 2002 at 10:06 AM (CST)

---

Angel Zack and Family:
Well, first off...what a couragous, brave and very cute boy! My buddy John Russell receieved his angel wings on Sept. 20, 2002. Guess what- we called him Bugs too! He got that name a few years ago. I am sure both Angel Zack and Angel John Russell are spending a lot of time together up there amongst the fluffiest clouds...they sure seem to have a lot in common. Please know that my many prayers are with you during this time. God bless you all. Remember the special moments...we were all so blessed to have these little souls in our lives. They showed us so much about life, love, bravery, courage, wisdom and dignity. Until we meet with them again... THinking of you all and sending many prayers and angels from Minnesota.

God Bless,
Shannon
Shannon <www.caringbridge.org/page/johnrussell>
Eden Prairie, MN - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 10:53 PM (CST)

---

Dear Becky, Mike and Jake,
Although we never got met Zack, what we knew of him was from Great Grandma Jenista and Grandma Hostad. It was from reading all your journal entries we've got to know Zack and your family. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you since Mary first told us about Zack and will continue. We also pray for Jake continued good health.
Margo & Bob Jenista <jenisrc@att.net>
Brier, WA USA - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 12:42 PM (CST)

---

Hello Becky,
My Name is Brian Daniels and I live in Channahon. I read the John Whiteside article from Oct 29 and many emotions came rushing back that took me back to Oct 20 2001. I lost my youngest daughter (2 1/2 years old) on that day and the similarities that we share are very much the same. John Whiteside did an article on us also and if you would like, I would send it to you via e-mail if you would forward me your e-mail address. Ashlyn had a seizure disorder, and had been to all the hospitals in this area including Hope, Childrens, Rush, and even Mayo Clinic. I know the pain you are going through. Our life has changed forever. Every emotion is going through your mind, and I feel that I will never look at life the same again nor should I. I still feel like people dont understand and that even though thir life goes on , mine has changed and I can never be totaly whole again. I hope I am not to depressing for this board, but if you ever want to talk, email, me or my wife Dawn please feel free. It has helped us a little to talk to people who have dealt with this unfair situation as we have. Our e mail addres is brian3dawn@aol.com. Our prayers are with you and your family.
Brian & Dawn Daniels <brian3dawn@aol.com>
Channahon, Il USA - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 12:30 AM (CST)

---

Hello Becky I am so sorry for your loss. I was looking through the guestbook on www.smilesquilts.com and saw your message on there. I have a smile quilt too at www.smilequilts.com/jessica.html I love your web site and I will be adding you to my daily prayers. Love and hugs, Jessica www.geocities.com/magicalbarbies
Jessica <magicalbarbies@aol.com>
- Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 11:41 AM (CST)

---

Well, Buggs, it has been a month today since you went home to heaven. We miss you and love you so much. Thank you for letting me find my "grandma necklace" you gave me on Mother's Day. I never thought I would see it again. Watch for the rainbow of baloons we will be sending you on Thanksgiving Day, your birthday. Keep watching over all of us, especially your baby brother, Jake. Love you bunches. Grandma Boyer, Uncle Nick, and Uncle Josh.
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 11:24 AM (CST)

---

Hi Becky, Mike and Jake, Just stopping in to say hi and let you know we are thinking of you and keeping you all in our prayers at Smile Quilts. Hugs and love, Sprite

Sprite <sprite@tds.net>
Eckert, Colorado USA - Sunday, November 17, 2002 at 01:59 PM (CST)

---

IT IS SO GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK AT WORK. YOU LOOK GREAT! THINGS WILL SOME HOW GET EASIER. I BET JAKE IS GETTING SO BIG. I BETTER BE THE NEXT ONE TO GET HIM!HA! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MIKE, AND LITTLE JAKE. YOU GUYS ARE A TOUGH FAMILY THAT WITH EACH OTHER YOU GUYS WILL PULL THROUGH. ITS HARD NOW, BUT CHERISH EVERY MEMORY YOU HAVE OF ZACK AND THAT WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE. WE MISS HIM AND THINK OF HIM EVERY DAY. TALK TO YOU SOON. LOVE YOU, LAURA
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 09:34 PM (CST)

---

Becky,
I'm glad to see you back at work. I think it is important to go back to as much normalcy as you can. No nothing will ever be the same for you, just like you said, even going to the store. But it will some day get just a little easier. Right now your wounds haven't even begun to heel. They are still too fresh, and every time someone at work or anywhere else even mentions it, it is like re opening the wound. But trust me, eventually it will get easier, even if it is just a little. I am here for you any time you want to talk, at work in the parking lot or anywhere else... Take advantage of all the offerings of help, I think you could use it. Right now, I know it hurts to talk about it, but soon it will bring a smile to your face to go through some of the stuff and talk about the circumstances surrounding some of the pictures you'll eventually go through. And when you're ready, I'll still be here, with plenty of ear to lend. Even when you are angry, yell at me. As you know from work, I've got big shoulders...I love you, hang in there kiddo, you're doing okay (in my opinion)!!!!!!!Brandy

brandy bendele
coal city, il usa - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 08:12 PM (CST)

---

Hi,
It has been 7 months for me & I have the same feeling when I come home from work I will always miss him waiting for me to go to the park and just that big smile I would get.Sometimes I take the longest way home just to prepare myself. I have a 10 year old at home and I have to remember he needs me just as much as my Jimmy did I just wish Jimmy was home to. Stay strong and always remember Zach's smile and pray to him - he will come.. MARLENE
Marlene ( Jimmys mom always ) <Mdh1778>
Wayne, nj - Friday, November 15, 2002 at 04:51 PM (CST)

---

I am sorry about zack I dont know you guys but, i saw your page on another caring bridge page. Im very sorry about zack, I have met many children who have died from this killer cancer. I had neuroblastoma my self. And i was really touched by your story. GOD BLESS YOU YOUR FAMILY AND ZACK!!!!
sarah steward <lilsarah579@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 09:49 PM (CST)

---

Dear Beacky,
We've been through so much together in the 13 years we've know each other.We planned so many things that we were going to do together.We were so much alike that even your 1st son had his own plans for us.He made sure that we would be connected for life,because if it wasn't for his wish I would of never had Jordan.In his life he made sure that he left his mark and he definitely left a mark on my heart.I'll never forget about him or what he brought to my life. He's the best friend Jordan could of ever ask for.And I'm sure he's watching over Jordan every day. I love ya Bec and I'll always be here for you. Love Ya Carrie
Carrie Doolin <carrie1179@aol.com>
Joliet , IL Will - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 10:01 PM (CST)

---

I just wanted to let you know that you guys are still very much in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Sunday, November 10, 2002 at 01:42 PM (CST)

---

Dear Becky,
You don't know me I've been following your sons progress with my sister who works with your mother. My prayers are with you and all of your family. I've mentioned to your mother when I heard the news of Zack falling asleep, I pictured that Jesus was sitting in a large comfortable chair bouncing Zack on his knee. This whole picture made me smile. I know God has his new little angel with polished wings watching over all of you. God Bless and take care. You are in my prayers.
Victoria Ackerson <wizard@lakeozark.net>
Climax Springs, MO USA - Friday, November 08, 2002 at 03:42 PM (CST)

---

There is nothing I could say that would ease your pain and I am not going to say I understand it. I can not understand why you have to experience it and it anger me that you do. I found your site from Jack's pages and have included him in my prayers and I will prayer for you too. Zach suffered his pain while here and now you are suffering as well. I am at a loss to explain times like these. Prayer is the answer for me to a lot of things I do not understand. It is powerful. May prayers help to ease your suffering.
http://www.caringbridge.org/wa/cameronboyd.html
ivy <poisenivj@aol.com>
lynnwood, wa usa - Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 12:06 AM (CST)

---

Becky,
Thank you for your honesty in your journal entry. You hit the nail on the head! Again, call if you need to chat. P.S. A little bit of liquor has gotten me through many a day too!Love to you all. Angela Riley
Angela Riley
Plainfield, IL - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 11:52 AM (CST)

---

Hi Becky,
I have read Zack's story and my heart aches for you and your family. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Zack was a precious little boy, who has touched so many lives. Zack will never be forgotten, in his short time here on earth, he has touched more lives than some people who live till 100 will. He was an angel sent from heaven, God's chosen child. I will pray for you and your family, that God will give you the strength to go on.
Love,
Nalani Koch
Nalani Koch <kochn001@hawaii.rr.com>
Honolulu, Hi. USA - Tuesday, November 05, 2002 at 02:25 AM (CST)

---

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. I will do what I can for you which is pray. And if I can be of help in any other way, please let me know. Blessings to you through this difficult time.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 09:20 PM (CST)

---

Hi,
It will be 7 months the 10th for my Jimmy and all I can say is it will always be with you .I also have another son he is 10 years old and I must go on, but my baby is on my mind 24-7 also.I really try very hard to not think about the day he left us.I was able to hold him till he went and talk to him .I try to think about other parents who do not get to say bye or be with them as they go and I do get peace in knowing he was in my arms safe at home.I will never forget Jimmy and you all will never forget Zach .Please remember his smile .Sometimes you have to fake it to make it ( my motto ) .I did not go out to halloween this year I had my sis take jeff out . I did not want to have him worry about me on his night out so yes holidays are tough.I buy little angels when we go somewhere with my son - carnivals, fairs and I buy it for Jimmy.I have a tree that we planted together and I plan on decorating it for him for christmas w/ his brother and always include him -just in a different way it feels good .Try this . maybe it will help you this holiday season.
Thinking of you,Marlene( Jimmys mom always )
Marlene <Mdh1778>
Wayne, NJ USA - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 06:54 PM (CST)

---

THINKING OF YOU GUYS!! I AM SO MAD THAT WE COULDN'T GO SEE ZACK ON HALLOWEEN, MADDIE HAS BEEN REALLY SICK SO WE HAVEN'T TAKEN HER OUT OF THE HOUSE. WE WILL GO IN A COUPLE OF DAYS. MICHAEL AND I SAY A PRAYER FOR HIM EVERY NIGHT. MICHAEL WILL NOT LET ME FORGET! WE NEED TO GET TOGETHER SOON. YOU, ME, BRANDY AND THE KIDS. MAYBE GO SHOPPING OR SOMETHING. WELL I'LL TALK TO YOU SOON. ALSO, I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS, THATS THE WAY LITTLE ZACK WOULD HAVE WANTED IT. ALWAYS REMEMBER HE IS FREE NOW AND WATCHING OVER YOU GUYS(AND MICHAEL TOO!!) I BETTER GET JAKE SOON, EVERY ONE HAS HAD HIM, ITS MY TURN!HA! I'LL FREE HIM OF THAT BINKY!! HA HA!! TAKE CARE YOU GUYS, I WILL SEE YOU SOON! LOVE YOU, LAURA
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 03:31 PM (CST)

---

Becky, Mike, and Jake,

Sorry I have not written in a few days. You are still in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry I couldn't come Thursday night. I heard it was fun...I'm glad you guys were able to take that break! YOU NEEDED IT!!! If it helps...I hope you celebrate the holidays both for Zack, and Jake. Since it is Jakes first'(s) No he won't understand now, but he will later. I think Zack would want you to. You could start a new tradition of picking a special ornament for the tree for Zack or something like that... Just a thought... I wish we could get together soon. If you don't have my # get it from Laura, give me a call, Please let me know if there is anything you need, or want. I will be happy to try and help. I saw the article in the paper about Zack, it was very nice. I just wanted to let you know, I'm thinking of you and if you need anything, please don't hesitate to call. Love you, and God Bless... p.s. Binky Babies are great!!!!!!!! All of mine were!!! Couldn't live without them


Brandy Bendele <boof75@aol>
Coal City, Il usa - Sunday, November 03, 2002 at 12:48 AM (CST)

---

dear becky, mike and jake, i have written before my name is dawn my daughter jhadia has aml butin remission. ur mom emailed me and let me know zack is with the angels. my heart is totally broke over this and i know there is no words i can say that will make u feel better. these cancer baby's so are precious and loved it is unbelieveable. zack will b in your hearts forever and i know he is watching over you. these kids have a way of knowing things we don't, which amazes me. being a cancer mom i wish i could give u a big hug because this is the hardest thing we will ever go through. u will always b in my prayers. stay strong and smile, he is in such a better place and happy.....HEAVEN !
dawn gibson
lawton, ok usa - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 09:21 PM (CST)

---

Hi Becky, Mike, and Jake. Jake was the best baby last nite, I was happy to babysit. Today's Memorial Service at St. Mary's was really beautiful. For awhile, I thought they forgot Zack, until I realized they were not going in alphabetical order. Jake was so good at church. Bringing a picture of the loved one, lighting a candle, and them calling out each name of those that died in the parish was very touching. I was glad Nick and I got to be a part of it. Jake, grandma loves you and I'll babysit anytime.(I'll probably have to fight Lori on that one. LOL)
Zack it has been 13 days, 7 hours, and 50 minutes since you got your wings. I know you are happy and healthy now, but it doesn't take away the sorrow of your leaving. I love you little guy. You will always be loved and you will be forever missed. Keep watching over us. I have felt your presense on occasion, so has Champagne. He hissed for the first time when Uncle Josh's cap was on the couch. The same cap you use to take off his head and laugh. That cat ran into Uncle Nicks room, and curled around his head. Uncle Josh said, "Do you think it was Zack, mom?" and I had to smile and say, "I wouldn't doubt it. He loved knocking your cap off your head." We miss you baby. Sleep well little one. We love you. Grandma Uncle Nick and Uncle Josh
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Saturday, November 02, 2002 at 07:14 PM (CST)

---

Hi, Mike and Becky....You don't know me, but I know your dad, Mike. I only met Zack once when I had lunch with him and your dad. At first, Zack was shy, but when I started playing crash-up with his cars, he warmed up quickly. He captured my heart that one and only time I saw him. Such a sweet little guy who loved his grandpa very much. My oldest son had cancer when he was 3 years old. It was a very rare form of bladder cancer and no one up till that time had lived more than a year after getting it. He was operated on at Children's Memorial in Chicago, and given chemo afterwards. At that time chemo was experimental with tumor cancers. By the Grace of God, my son just turned 38 last Sunday. I felt your pain throughout Zack's ordeal. I prayed for him every day, and when your dad told me they could do no more for him, I prayed that the Good Lord would not let him suffer too long. That prayer was answered when God took him home to be with the Angels. I know that Zack has his own little race track in Heaven and lots of friends to play with. I am sorry I couldn't come to say goodbye to him, but I said it in my heart. I will always have the happy image of him playing with his cars and looking at the fish at Sara's Place. And I will always remember the little kiss he gave me when we said bye-bye that day.
Corliss McKinney <zandtwinsgrandma@aol.com>
Channahon, IL USA - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 12:15 AM (CST)

---

I'm just writing to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings to you as you walk this difficult road.
Khalita www.caringbridge.com/nc/khalita Duke Peds BMT aplastic anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 09:11 AM (CST)

---

To the Hostads:

First of all, I want to go by saying I am very sorry for your loss. Actually, about a week ago is the first time I have heard about your story. I wish I would have known sooner so I could have lent a helping hand in anyway I could. I was checking out the website last night and I felt very compelled to write. Your strength and courage through this ordeal amazes me and I am completely drawn to everything that is on this website. I am only 21 and I have a son who is 17 months and his name is Zachary also. We have had some rough times with him being in the hospital at Children's, and I feel like I am about to break when he was in there. And then I stumble upon your journal entries and the courage and strength you have shown being so young really amazes me. I have learned a great deal from you by reading your journal entries and I will carry the strength you had for your son throughout his sickness, and use it for myself. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. I wish I could have done something earlier. Your family and little Zack will be in my prayers and thoughts always. May God Bless You!

Jaime <crapo94@aol.com>
Lockport, il USA - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 11:47 AM (CST)

---

Hi guys
Sorry it's taken me so long to sign the guestbook. There is never the right thing to say and I am at a loss for words still. We are sorry that all of this has happenned. I am very greatful that we got a chance to know Zack. I will never forget him coming over to our house and letting me carry him all over the yard and take him down the slide. It makes me happy to know that I was able to put a smile on his face, and that he liked my spaghetti!! We will miss him. I hope you don't mind if we pray to your special angel to take care of Jack. Zack was such a sweetheart, I'm sure he has some pull up there!! Know that we are always here for you. We miss your little Jacob. In this house, no child gets out without a pacifier!! Ha Ha. It has saved my sanity many times in the past. But Jacob really seemed to like it (without my help!!) We love you guys and pray you get through this horrible time ok.
Lori Howard and family <marklori5@msn.com>
Aurora, IL usa - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 09:40 PM (CST)

---

Dear Becky,
I just read your story and it was so sad, I'm so sorry you and your family had got through this, it seems like a nightmare. I was two months pregnant with my third child when I got the news my son age 10 1/2 months at the time had Neuroblastoma cancer. This happened last year, I don't think I could bare to loose a son, but I want to say you are so courageous and at least now your son is no longer suffering but an addition to all the angels up in heaven watching over the rest of out children here on earth. My prayers are with you and your family!
Jeannie <jadbemi@hotmail.com www.caringbridge.org/tx/nicben>
Eagle Pass, TX - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 08:50 PM (CST)

---

angel Zach gone but never forgotten - love angel Toto

Toto <totoofoz@cox.net>
Lyons, KS USA - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 12:26 AM (CST)

---

To Becky, Mike & Jacob- I cannot begin to express my feelings of sadness for you. The "movies" that were being shown were so overwhelming- the second I walked in, I could no longer hold back the tears!!! I cannot imagine what you have gone through- all I can do is remind myself & you that Zack is with God now. He is smiling down on you & he no longer feels any pain. That child could not have been more loved by anyone else in the world than you & your family/friends. I feel privilaged to have known him while he was here on earth. God bless you all & remember to keep smiling- Zack loves you!!!!!!!!
Love, Meg Mejia <magsmagia@msn.com>
Romeoville, Il USA - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 11:11 PM (CST)

---

THINKING OF YOU GUYS, JUST WANTED TO STOP IN AND SAY HI.
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 11:03 PM (CST)

---

My heataches for you and your family, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know the emotions you are going through, if you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to e-mail me.
Deneen
www.caringbridge.org/page/tiffanie
Mom to Tiffanie Salvadia Forever
10-9-85 to 12-15-02
Deneen Gethouas
Enola, PA USA - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CST)

---

Stopping in to let you know that I am keeping the family in prayer. Becky, the poem is so touching and straight from the heart. God be with you and give you strength and the courage needed to help you through these terribly tough times. Zack was and is a blessing to all who knew him. Hugs, love and prayers, Sprite from Smile Quilts.

Sprite <sprite@tds.net>
Eckert, Colorado USA - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 04:22 AM (CST)

---

Island Princess told me about your loss and my heart hurts for you. You will never really be without Zack as he will live on in your hearts and minds..God's blessings IceDream
IceDream <icedream_@hotmail.com>
Ont Canada - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 09:35 PM (CDT)

---

BECKY,
I AM GLAD WE GOT TO GO OUT AND HAVE A GOOD TIME THURDAY. IT WAS GREAT TO SEE YOU SMILE. I AM GLAD YOU GOT JAKE BACK, GIVE HIM A HUG FOR ME. MICHAEL AND I ARE GOING TO VISIT ZACK SOON. MICHAEL WANTS TO GIVE HIM A BALLOON FOR HALLOWEEN. WELL I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI, I WILL TALK WITH YOU SOON. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! LOVE YOU ALWAYS, LAURA
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 08:55 PM (CDT)

---

Dearest Becky and Mike.....
Quilting Angel Island Princess here visiting you again. I will continue visiting as long as you keep updating. God Bless you all. The poem you wrote for your angel is so beautiful and brings a tear to ones eye. Also I read the post from Zack's gramma and this also moved me to tears.
Please remember that Zack will always be with you. My goodness, everytime I look at the picture of Zack and his daddy the resemblence is so strong. Zack looks like a little mimi daddy....Everytime you look at your husband you have to see Zack.
My father passed away in 1997 and we lost him at a time when we really needed him. We were so young and he was the rock of our family. About 10 days after his passing, we were, (the family), visited by a beautiful butterfly. This butterfly stayed and let us hold it for about 2 hours. We took turns holding it, talking to it and admiring it's beauty. Never before were able to get near a butterfly let along hold one. The experience was awesome and I know it was my dad. Coming to us to let us know he loved us and was no longer in pain, blind, or sick. Since then I have heard from many people who have had similar experiences. Many were of butterflies and some were others. But they always were after a dear loved one had passed into Heaven. I think this is the Lord's way of reassuring us all is beautiful and well with our loved ones and a promise to us that we will be reunited again one day. Butterflies are very dear to me and I have written many butterfly poems as a result.
I shall pray for you to have a similar experiecne as this. But the most important thing to remember is Zack will be with you always. He is only a heart beat away.
Love,
Island Princess (Smile Quilt's)




Island Princess <mooks@bellsouth.net>
- Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 08:53 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Becky and Mike:
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious little boy. I know the pain you are feeling is unbearable. Hold tight to the happy memories of your son. Though your tears are endless, your heart holds all the love and happiness of your brave Zack.
Hugs, Lisa
Mommy of Angel Shad, 16/06/95-05/09/00.
medulloblastoma
www.geocities.com/shadmckell
Lisa McKell
Toronto, On Canada - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 06:08 PM (CDT)

---

I am so sorry to hear that Zach is gone. My heart goes out to you all. May the Lord give you peace as the days go by.
Stay strong. God's blessings!



Angel Craving Wings
Winnipeg, Mb Canada - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 03:33 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack's family - I just read your poem from Zack and sit here with tears flowing - you did a wonderful job with it - the wake sounds like it was beautiful and of course very emotional - my thought and prayers continue to be with you all - love Pat aka Toto a Smile Quilts quilting angel

Pat aka Toto <totofooz@cox.net>
Lyons, KS USA - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 02:18 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Becky and Mike and Jacob,
We are so sorry for your loss of Zachary. We are Jade Collin's grandparents and have and will continue to pray for your family. Your poem in his memory is lovely. Read it daily so you feel his presence with the Lord.
Ron and Bev Edwards
Ron and Bev Edwards <Ronnbev@aol.com>
Gurnee, Il USA - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 01:08 PM (CDT)

---

BECKY,MIKE AND JAKE

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSS. I WORK AT HOME DEPOT AS A CASHIER. I NEVER MET BECKY BUT I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING UP ON ALL OF THE READINGS IN HERE. ZACK SEEMED SO LOVED AND VERY HAPPY AND IT IS SAD TO SEE HIM GO.
TAKE CARE ALL OF YOU. AND REMEMBER ZACK WILL ALWAYS BE WATCHING DOWN ON YOUS.
NICOLE BAEZ <BUTTERFLYSTAR@ATTBI.COM>
LOCKPORT, IL - Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 09:38 AM (CDT)

---

I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I'm sure it must be hard. You gave him a great couple of years! He shall never forget the love you gave to him and all of the little games you would play with him. He didn't die, he merely went to a place children go when their cancer gets to be too much.


Kiernan <KIky87@aol.com>
- Friday, October 25, 2002 at 06:33 PM (CDT)

---

Hi, you don't know me but i have read many of your letter's in the past which has helped me to understand cancer. I thank-you for that...My heart also goes out to you both in your time of need
God Bless
Al Hartwig <harts62000@yahoo.com>
Kitchener, On Canada - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 01:57 PM (CDT)

---

DEAR BECKY & MIKE,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR SHARING ZACH WITH ME. THE TIME I HAD HIM IN MY DAYCARE ARE SOME OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES OF HIM. HE WAS AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO HAVE. IM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN EVER DO FOR YOU PLEASE CALL ME... WE LOVED ZACH AS ONE OF ARE OWN.... THANKS FOR SHARING THURSDAY NIGHT WITH ME IT WAS GREAT.....
ANDREA BLOUNT
JOLIET, IL WILL - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 01:33 PM (CDT)

---

Becky, that is a beautiful poem you wrote for Zack. It sounds like he had a beautiful wake and funeral. I wish that I could have been there to celebrate his life with all of you guys. Please keep us posted on Jake.
Thinking of you always,
Dennis
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, IL U.S.A. - Friday, October 25, 2002 at 11:36 AM (CDT)

---

My prayers are with you Mike, Becky, Jake, Beth, Nick and Josh. Love Pam
Pam Buwalda <pamjb1954@yahoo.com>
Joliet, Il usa - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 07:55 PM (CDT)

---

Nothing beautiful in this world is ever really lost. All things beloved live on in our hearts....forever.

All our blessing,

Judy Holloway and Family,,
Judy Holloway <Jhollowa@calpoly.edu>
Santa Maria, CA Santa Barbara - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 05:39 PM (CDT)

---

BECKY AND MIKE, THE FUNERAL WAS SO EMOTIONAL YESTERDAY, BUT THAT BOY WAS LOVED AND HE LOVED YOU GUYS SO MUCH. THE TWO OF YOU AND LISA WERE SO STRONG TO GET IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AND EXPRESS YOURSELFS TO ZACK. ALL OF YOU ARE SO STRONG. THINGS WILL GET EASIER IN TIME, JUST LIVE EVERY DAY TO THE FULLEST. LET JAKE KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT HIS WONDERFUL BROTHER ZACK. HE LIVED ONLY A SHORT TIME BUT YOU GAVE HIM EVERYTHING: YOUR LOVE, TRIPS,A BEAUTIFUL BROTHER, ZACK HAS DONE THINGS THAT MOST PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO IN A LIFE TIME. BUT YOU GUYS MADE THAT ALL COME TRUE FOR HIM. HE LOVES YOU DEARLY AND HE WILL KEEP JAKE SAFE!!!! I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU GUYS. MICHAEL SAY A PRAYER FOR ZACK ALL THE TIME. HE SAYS" ZACK IS IN HEAVEN WITH NO MORE PAIN, HE CAN TALK NOW. AMEN" IT IS SO SWEET COMING OUT OF HIM. WE ALL MISS ZACK VERY MUCH. HE TOUCHED MY HEART IN A WAY THAT CAN'T EVEN BE EXPLAINED. I WILL REMEMBER HIM ALWAYS. YOU GUYS RAISE JAKE TO THE FULLEST!!!!! HE NEEDS THE BOTH OF YOU. SHOW HIM HOW GREAT YOU GUYS ARE, I KNOW HE IS GOING TO BE ONE LOVED CHILD. I WILL TALK WITH YOU SOON. LOVE YOU GUYS, LAURA
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 01:22 PM (CDT)

---

Becky & Mike,
I don't know what to say... your words today were so beautiful. How brave and strong the two of you are. I admire your strength. The service for Zack was phenominal... What an honor to have the two of you for parents... Although Zack did not vocalize his feelings, it is easy to see how much he loved you, and how much he was loved... As you know Becky, I've been through a similar situation, and I can't begin to tell you how much you and your family touched me today... I am honored that you allowed me the privilege in sharing your grief, and love for your son. Please do not hesitate to call me if you need anything at all...You know where to find me...
God Bless All of You,
you are some of the bravest people I know...


Brandy Bendele <boof75@aol >
coal city, il usa - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 10:52 PM (CDT)

---

My dearest daughter, Mike, Jake, Lisa, Mary, and ZACK

Zack had the greatest parents any child could have. I am sure Zack is up in heaven beaming with his "where's my face" grin. He must be so proud of all of you.

The services today were beautiful.

Becky, although Zack was unable to communicate very well, he loved you so much. You only have to look at the photo's to see it. I was so proud of you today. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about how difficult it had to have been for you when you were read his eulogy and the poem you wrote. I love you so much.

Mike, I have never seen a man who loved their child like you loved Zack. I don't have to tell you how much Zack loved and still loves you. As you read your own words on how Zack's life had changed you, stopping every so often to compose yourself, broke my heart yet, warmed it.

Lisa, your reading was touching. You mentioning "just going to the gas station or shopping for flowers made me smile. Remember only "3 bunches" of flowers.

Mary, your talent in perserving Zack's life in your "slideshow" is invaluable. You have made it possible for us to remember him forever. You are a wonderful grandma.

Jake, your big brother will be watching over you forever. We all will be here to tell you about how loving and brave your big brother was. We love you little guy.

Zack--Oh my precious little guy. How we will miss you so deeply. Our lunches with my friends that you were so much a part of, will never be the same. You are our guiding light. To quote Aunt Lia,"we may stumble along the way" but I know you will be there to help us stay on the right road to see you again. You have touched so many lives around the world, know you were loved by all. I hope you enjoyed the balloons we sent up to you today. They were sent up to "celebrate your life". Good night my angel boy.
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 10:29 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Becky and Mike,
My name is Tina and I am the moderator for The Family Forum on the NCCS Care to Share Connection. I have been talking with your mother, Beth, for a long time now, and I feel like all of you are a part of my family now. My son, Kenton, was diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma stage 2 when he was 3 yrs old. He is 5 now and the cancer has come back, more aggressive. We are fighting the battle once again. I know what your family was going thru. I am so sorry that Zack had to leave so soon. I know the pain of losing my mother in 1999, I can only imagine what you must be going thru losing your child. Just the other day, I finally saw a picture of Zack and he is beautiful. All of you are a beautiful family. I printed it out to keep with me always. I have prayed for all of you everyday and I have cried for you hundreds of times. I know that Zack is in a better place and he will be Jake's gaurdian angel. God blessed you with Zack and then he blessed you with Jake. Jake will help you get thru this because Zack is a part of him. Smother him in love. May God be with all of you thru the difficult time you must journey thru. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I will keep Jake in my prayers and hope that he will stay healthy.
God bless your family

All of our Love,
Tina and Kenton
Tina Haygood <haygoodt@aol.com>
Deatsville, Al USA - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 03:43 PM (CDT)

---

BECKY AND MIKE,
YOU GUYS WERE SO BRAVE TODAY. ZACK LOOKED BEAUTIFUL TODAY WHAT A HANDSOME LITTLE BOY. I GAVE MICHAEL THAT KISS FROM YOU WHEN I GOT HOME. HE SAID TO GIVE YOU ONE FROM HIM. HE SAID "MICHAEL GIVE BECKY KISS TO." BRANDY AND I ARE HERE FOR YOU AND MIKE 100%. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK. YOU HAVE SUCH A LOVING FAMILY AND SO MUCH SUPPORT FROM THEN. MIKE'S MOM IS TRULY TALENTED AND YOUR BROTHERS DRAWING OF ZACK, WHAT A MASTERPIECE!!!! JAKE WILL HAVE EVERYTHING TO LOOK BACK ON AND REMEMBER WHAT A SPECIAL BROTHER HE HAD. MEMORIES LAST FOREVER!!!TAKE CARE AND I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW ON 10-23
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, IL - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 09:08 PM (CDT)

---

Becky, Mike & family.
HI Im Linda Hills Daughter, I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Prayers are with you and your family.
Donna
Donna Long <longfamily5@earthlink.net>
Danville, Va - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 06:14 PM (CDT)

---

Hi,
I just got done reading your last update and when you said Zach was staring at the ceiling I was not suprised my Jimmy did the same thing - I beleive it's a angel watching over them. I have a home video of my Jimmy telling me a girl was in his bedroom sitting on the floor and when I asked him what she said he said" she did'nt say nothing she just was sitting on his floor" ..I watch that video and I know now it was a angel and he just caught her watching over him.Just wanted to share this with you & to let you know even though I do not personally know you I do know what you are feeling and my thoughts are with all of you.
Marlene ( Jimmy's mom always )
Mdh1778 <Mdh1778@aol.com>
Wayne, NJ USA - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 04:52 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Becky and Mike,
My name is Michele Hatfield....I am Jack's Aunt 'Chele in Georgia. I did not have an opportunity to meet Zack, but I sure heard lots of wonderful things about him and his little brother, Jacob. What sweet little boys! Sounds like they have had some good time with Grant, Jack and Dylan.

This is my first visit to Zack's website. What a handsome little boy. I am so sorry for you loss. Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. I wear my gold ribbon pin everyday.....I will think of Zach as I put it on each morning.

Take care of yourselves and know you have friends in Atlanta, GA that are thinking of you.

Love, Michele & Chris Hatfield
Michele Hatfield <micheleh2@juno.com>
Powder Springs, GA 30127 - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 03:51 PM (CDT)

---

I'm sorry to hear you've lost Zach. My daughter Gabrielle is a lymphoma patient. I am working hard to raise awareness and funds for a cure so our babies won't be taken away by such a terrible thing like cancer. God bless you.
Sheri
Ocean Springs, MS - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 01:42 PM (CDT)

---

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FAMILY'S LOSS. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR LOOSING A CHILD. I HAD BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR SON'S WEB SITE FOR SOME TIME. WHAT A HANDSOME BOY!! I FOUND IT LATE ONE NIGHT. MY DAUGHTER HAS CANCER AS WELL. I WILL PRAY FOR STRENGTH FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND TO MOVE THROUGH EACH DAY. I AM SO SORRY.
A FRIEND
FL USA - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 11:23 AM (CDT)

---

I just found your web site a short time ago. I am so sorry for your loss. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you well.

Cheryl A. Rannow <carannow@uslink.net>
Brainerd, MN United States - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 10:39 PM (CDT)

---

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH. WE ARE ALL THINKING OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. YOU AND MIKE HAVE BEEN SO STRONG THROUGH ALL OF THIS. ZACK CAN FINALLY BE FREE, NO MORE PAIN FOR OUR LITTLE MAN. NO MATTER WHAT, ZACK ALWAYS HAD THE BIGGEST SMILE EVER. HE TRULY WAS A HAPPY LITTLE BOY WITH LOVELY PARENTS, I BET HE IS SMILING DOWN ON YOU GUYS NOW. JAKE HAS HIS OWN GUARDIAN ANGEL. ONE DAY YOU'LL ALL MEET AGAIN!!!!
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 10:13 PM (CDT)

---

Becky, Mike, Jake, and Family...
You are in our thoughts and prayers. We are SO SORRY!!! We hope you know you can count on us if you need anything. Zack will be dearly missed...
He truly is an angel. We admire your strength both as parents and as human beings. It is amazing... Nothing we can say can make this any easier for you, but just know that we are here for a shoulder to cry on, or a hug, or whatever you need... All our love, God Bless All Of You....

Toby & Brandy Bendele <boof75@aol.com>
Coal City, Il Grundy - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 09:32 PM (CDT)

---

Becky, Mike, Jacob
My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I am amazed at the strength you have managed to maintain. Be fortunate of the time and memories you have had with Zack. That can NEVER be taken away. At least Zack is in peace and pain-free now...and with the Angels. If you need anything, please call...you know where you can find me. God Bless.
Stacey Patrick <stajay2000@aol.com>
Owego, IL USA - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 08:07 PM (CDT)

---

You are all in my prayers....May God bless all of you!
Becky, please give me your email address when you are up to it. I love you all so much. Thank you, dear Beth, for keeping me up to date on little Zack. I have a broken heart as we all do...but God is with him. Jesus is holding his little hand. Email me if any of you want to talk....thank you for reading my poems on Zack....Love Always, Linda Hill
Linda Hill
Blairs, virginia USA - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 07:37 PM (CDT)

---

I'm so saddened to read your last journal entry! I just recently came to your site through another site. I hope that you are able to find comfort knowing that Zack no longer has any pain and he is at the place that we all long to be at! He is probably running through the gardens and having fun with all of his new friends!
May god be with you at this time and may he give you strength and help you to cope!! Sending you hugs from Minnesota!!
Brenda <krcbrandt@msn.com>
LeSueur, MN - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 07:28 PM (CDT)

---

I just got home and wanted to check in with you -I am so sorry to hear the news.There is only one thing I can say please have faith and know he has only crossed over to a place free of pain ,he is alive and always remember someting that greatly helps me is heaven has no time .Jimmy came to me in a dream and he was sitting up coloring and happy .I really had a visit from him and he let me know he was o.k. The feeling I felt was so real ,we felt like we just saw each other 5 minutes ago and it had been over 5 months since I lost him.I told everyone about this dream I hope this helps you today.If you need to talk please e-mail me anytime.
Mdh1778 <Mdh1778@aol.com>
wayne, nj usa - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 04:48 PM (CDT)

---

I signed Zack's guestbook early, but something just occurred to me....Maybe this was Zack's last little gift to you, not passing away at home. He didn't want you to always associate your house with his passing, so he waited to fly with the angels while you were in Gurnee. Just a thought!
A friend
- Monday, October 21, 2002 at 01:56 PM (CDT)

---

I am so sorry for your loss. I meant to write all week...sigh...he was a beautiful boy. I understand your pain and horror. We just lost our Eion 5 months ago. Nothing will take away the nightmares and pain, but, if you need to talk to someone who understands, please call day or night and I REALLY mean it. Love and prayers, Angela Riley
Angela Riley <rileysnuthouse@yahoo.com>
Plainfield, IL - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 12:39 PM (CDT)

---

I am so sorry for your loss. Zack did get his cure; just not the one we had all hoped for. God had a plan for him, unfortunately it isn't always the same one we have for our children. I imagine he is in Heaven doing all the things he hasn't been able to do because of feeling sick. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
A friend
- Monday, October 21, 2002 at 11:53 AM (CDT)

---

To Zack's Family:
I am heartbroken to hear of your loss. I will always always remember Zack. I am glad his ordeal is over and that he is no longer in pain and is now in a better place. But I know you will miss him so, and I pray for you!
Dawn Collins (Jade's Mom)
Hainesville, IL USA - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 10:13 AM (CDT)

---

Dear Mike & Becky, I'm really sorry to hear that you lost your beautiful little Zack. I was hoping that he would be able to read his guestbook someday. I am glad that he didn't suffer for to long. He is in a better place now and I'm sure that he is looking down and smiling on you all.
Peace be with you.
Love always,
Dennis (Jade's dad)
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, il U.S.A. - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 08:56 AM (CDT)

---

I am so sorry for your loss...I just recently found your site..What a cutie he is! please take care!


Heather Grell
Brainerd, MN - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 08:47 AM (CDT)

---

You are in my prayers during this difficult time.
Jami Jann
Columbia, SC - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 07:08 AM (CDT)

---

Oh my heart just broke when I heard the news tonight. I am so happy that Zack is free of pain and suffering now and safely in Heaven but I am so sorry for those of you left behind. No child was ever more loved or cherished than Zack was and I know that God picked very special parents for a very special child.
~Hugs~
Jean



Jean Ilderton - Smile Quilts <jean@jeanilderton.com>
Tucson, AZ - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 11:25 PM (CDT)

---

To the Hostad family
I am Pat McCann's sister. I just wanted to let you know I have been praying for you and your family during this difficult time. Also wanted to let you know my church has been praying for Zach. If there is anything we can do please let me know. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your child. Zach is in heaven with Jesus. Zach will have a pain free life in heaven. If you need anything please feel free to email me or ask Pat and Laura to get a hold of me.
Christine Gillis <sillig623@hotmail.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 08:22 PM (CDT)

---

To the Hostad family,
You guys do not know me but I am Pat McCann's sister. I just want you to know we are praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
Christine Gillis <sillig623@hotmail.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 08:14 PM (CDT)

---

I am so, so sorry to hear about Zack.
Please accept my (as well as everyone at Smile Quilts) deepest condolences.



Chris ~ Smile Quilts

<chrisrusso_@hotmail.com>
- Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 07:33 PM (CDT)

---

I was so hoping for a miracle for Zack.
I am thankful he is out of pain but your hearts
must be so heavy.
My heart so bleeds for your family.
Please know that you are in my heart and prayers.

I believe Zack is looking over you in heaven...

My Love and Prayers...

Nancy-Mom of Stephanie 16yrs Ewing Sarcoma Bone Cancer dx 06/00 now in remission National Childrens Cancer Society Moderator <nalowery@dtgnet.com>
South Dakota, - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 07:09 PM (CDT)

---

My dearest little angel. You are now with Jesus and soaring with the angels. I am sure your Great-Grandpa Everts was waiting for you. I hope he knows what a precious gift he got on his 89th birthday. Peace be with you sweetie. I'll see you when I get there. Love you forever, Grandma Boyer
Beth Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 06:08 PM (CDT)

---

My prayers and thoughts are with you all - please know that Zack is now pain free and soaring with the angels - love Pat


Pat aka Toto <totoofoz@cox.net>
Lyons, KS USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 05:44 PM (CDT)

---

I am so sorry about your little angel. May God be with you all.
Angel Gator <dstonerwoman69@aol.com>
Everett, WA USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 03:01 PM (CDT)

---

SORRY ABOUT THE LOSS OF ZACK. HE IS IN A HAPPY PLACE NOW WITH NO MORE PAIN. AS MICHAEL ALWAYS SAYS, HE IS GOING TO THE SKY TO BE AN ANGEL AND NOW HE HAS. JUST THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES YOU HAD WHEN THAT BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY WAS HERE. WE WILL REMEMBER HIM FOREVER. I AM SURE GLAD I KNEW HIM AND THAT MY KIDS HAD THE CHANCE TO PLAY AND GET TO KNOW HIM. PAT AND I ARE ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. LOVE YOU!! TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS
LAURA &PAT MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
WILMINGTON, - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 02:52 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Hostad Family.....
Quilting Angel Isand Princess here wanting to leave with you warm hugs and all my prayers. I just found out about precious Zack and wanted to leave my condolences with you all. Please try and find comfort in knowing you have guarding Angel watching you from heaven tonight. The brightese star in the sky tonight will be little Zack as he spreads his wings and learns how to fly amongst all the other little angels in Heaven. God Bless you and I am so saddened for your loss. Your Smile Quilt's family is here for you if you need us.
In our prayers,
Island Princess and your Smile Quilt's family


Island Princess <mooks@bellsouth.net>
- Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 02:31 PM (CDT)

---

To all of Zack's family and friends,
I am so saddened by the loss of your dear sweet child. May God comfort you in your grief and surround you with his grace. You are in my prayers and those of the Smile Quilt family. Zack was an inspiration to all and his story will continue to bless many. Hugs, Sprite

Sprite <sprite@tds.net>
Eckert, Colorado USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 02:17 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack and family, Stopping in to see your photos. You are such a cutie. Know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you. Sprite

Sprite
Eckert, Colorado USA - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 12:55 AM (CDT)

---

sorry to hear what you are goig through,may God bless you and your family
Michelle <SunFlowerMom2@Aol.Com>
Chesapeake, VA USA - Saturday, October 19, 2002 at 09:30 PM (CDT)

---

hello Zack ! I love all of your photos with your little brother. I will keep you in my prayers always. May God bless you!
Melissa Wiles <mwiles_00@yahoo.com>
Branchville, SC USA - Friday, October 18, 2002 at 10:35 PM (CDT)

---

Becky, I really love those new pictures. You have a beautiful family. Zack looks all grown up with that hair.
I will continue to pray for a miracle for you guys.
Love always,
Dennis
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, il U.S.A. - Friday, October 18, 2002 at 08:38 AM (CDT)

---

I read your story in the Enterprise. You must be very strong people -- you made some brave decisions. I will keep your family in my praryers.
Patie <patie_r@yahoo.com>
Plainfield, IL - Thursday, October 17, 2002 at 11:21 AM (CDT)

---

Zach & Family,
I just wanted to come by and tell you that you are all in my prayers.
~Hugs~
Jean
Smile Quilts



Jean Ilderton - Smile Quilts <jean@jeanilderton.com>
Tucson, AZ - Wednesday, October 16, 2002 at 03:38 AM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack & family - my prayers continue for you all - love Quilting Angel Toto


Pat aka Toto <totoofoz@cox.net>
KS USA - Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 07:21 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack and family. Just checking in on you and your family. We wanted to let you know the Smile Quilts family are thinking about you and keeping you in our prayers. I hope you are having a good day today filled with love and hugs. Hugs, Sprite

Sprite <sprite@tds.net>
Eckert, Colorado USA - Tuesday, October 15, 2002 at 05:32 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Becky, As a mother I cannot imagine what you must be feeling and going through. Know that you are in our prayers always. Zack is such a cute little guy! I'm so glad that he is doing well and is comfortable. God is holding you in the palm of His hand.
Shari Swender <sharicowgirl7@hotmail.com>
Newton, KS USA - Monday, October 14, 2002 at 06:03 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Zack and Family-

I found your site from a post in Mearan Pohl's guestbook. I read your story of Zack and I pray for strength and healing for your family and especially Zack. I am Mearan's step-cousin and losing her was very hard, but she did more teaching than most people do in a lifetime. I have a Chronic illness, and after reading what these children go through, it gives me a new perspective on how to live my life. Those are the lessons they teach, without even knowing it. God Bless you and I send you a big hug and a smile from Minnesota!
Tracy Petry <lundygal@yahoo.com>
Aitkin, MN - Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 07:44 PM (CDT)

---

hi becky, i read ur last entry and lord knows i wish i could give u a hug. when jhadia was dx with cancer my world did come crashing down and telling the boys was equally as hard and tip toe around everyone and their feelings was hard and be the strong one. please keep faith and never stp the prayers the lord does work i know this to b true jhadia is still here with us. i can't imagine what u and mike go through it just blows me away but i have been keeping track of zack for along time. know u r in our hearts. dawn and jhadia gibson
dawn gibson <dgi8517133@aol.com>
lawton, ok usa - Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 11:05 AM (CDT)

---

THINKING OF YOU GUYS!! SAY HELLO TO ZACK AND JAKE FOR ME. LOVE YOU ALWAYS, LAURA!!
LAURA MCCANN <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
- Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 09:29 PM (CDT)

---

Hello,
Do not fear, the lord Jesus who is the greatest physician will heal zack completely of his cancer and he will be just like a normal child have faith our prayers are with you, go to the site www.prayertoweronline.org and submit your request. and see the miracles of the lord Jesus your self. Have faith and kiss zack for me.
Jenny <Jennycmos@rediffmail.com>
Mumbai, India - Saturday, October 12, 2002 at 03:05 PM (CDT)

---

You are in our thoughts & prayers. God's Blessings!

(((((((HUGS))))))))
Angel Craving Wings <cwennman@mts.net>
Winnipeg, Mb Canada - Friday, October 11, 2002 at 03:34 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack, I am Jack's Grandma, I know you through his Mommie Lori. She has told me all about you and your family and you are everything she said. What a cutie, looking at your pictures you look like a very brave little boy. I read your story and I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers always. I know that having you for a friend for Jack and his brothers has been great for them. I know you will always be friends forever. Tell mommie and daddy and Jake that our prayers are with them and you. Love Jack's Grandma
Margret Howard
Burnt Hills, NY USA - Wednesday, October 09, 2002 at 08:31 AM (CDT)

---

Dear Zack and Family, You all have been in my family's prayers since the ordeal began. I used to work with your Grandma Beth, and she has kept me updated. I admire your strength and pray that God will continue to give you more.
Renee
Little Rock, AR - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 11:51 AM (CDT)

---

I just got done reading your latest update & I honestly know what you and your husband are feeling.It will be the hardest thing ever but right now you got to stay strong and just be mommy and daddy .Hospice is the best thing he will be able to be home and around the ones he loves.I think he wants daddy more right now because thats the way it always was he sounded like he spent alot of time with dad and this puts normalcy in his life .I do not know how I stayed so strong I think it was because I never looked or thought real hard at the whole picture I always took one day at a time and I had to be there for my Jimmy.. Take one day at at a time ... I will continue to pray for you all
Marlene ( Jimmy's mom always ) <Mdh1778@aol.com>
Wayne, nj 07470 - Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 08:38 PM (CDT)

---

I'm so so so so so sorry. Please know that I pray for you guys everyday. I pray for a miracle for Zack and I pray that Jake won't get this terrible disease and I pray that you guys somehow find the strength to get through this.
Love always,
Dennis Collins (Jade's dad)
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, Il U.S.A. - Saturday, October 05, 2002 at 08:51 AM (CDT)

---

THINKING OF YOU GUYS TODAY! CAN'T WAIT FOR THE KIDS TO PLAY TOGETHER. MICHAEL SAYS HI TO ZACK AND BABY JAKE. TAKE CARE . LOVE YOU ALWAYS LAURA
LAURA <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
- Friday, October 04, 2002 at 09:13 PM (CDT)

---

To Zack and family. I have read what your dear grandmother has posted on the care to share site. My heart goes out to you and you all are constantly in my prayers. Zack is a very brave and special child of God and just believe he will always take good care of him. I know there is nothing in this world I can say to ease your pain but I wanted you to know those of us who have children fighting cancer understand how precious time with our children really is and that there is never any guarentee for tomorrow. I pray you will find the strength you need to get thru each day. And may the grace and love of God that surpasses all understanding sustain you.
Loretta England <eloretta@hotmail.com>
McAlester, OK USA - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 12:28 AM (CDT)

---

To Zack...
Please know you are in our families prayers, we think of you so often.
You are a very adorable little boy and your Grandma keeps
us updated on how you are. We all wait with anticipation
praying you are feeling well. We will keep you in our
prayers and your Mom, Dad, brother and Grandma too.



Nancy~mom of Stephanie 16yrs Ewing Sarcoma Bone Cancer dx 06/00 now in remission <msmonday@hotmail.com>
South Dakota - Thursday, October 03, 2002 at 10:11 PM (CDT)

---

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, Jessica
Jessica Cook
St. Louis, mo - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 03:28 PM (CDT)

---

You are all in my prayers.

God bless,

Kenny
Kenny <webmaster@cancerkids.org>
Fort Lauderdale, FL USA - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 02:53 PM (CDT)

---

hi zack, mom and dad, you are in our rhoughts and prayers.
pat and laura <pmccannjr@aol.com>
wilmington, il - Sunday, September 29, 2002 at 12:24 AM (CDT)

---

ZACK IS IN OUR HEARTS AND OUR PRAYERS, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING YOU KNOW WERE WE ARE.
PAT AND LAURA <MCCANNL1@AOL.COM>
- Saturday, September 28, 2002 at 09:30 PM (CDT)

---

I found your site through Lori's. Sending prayers. Your little boy shouldn't have to suffer like this and neither should you. I'm so so sorry.
Debbie
- Friday, September 27, 2002 at 09:22 PM (CDT)

---

Becky & Zack:
May God bless you and hold you close. I think of you everyday.
Dawn Collins (Jade's Mom)
- Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 11:04 AM (CDT)

---

Becky and family

You know that I will always be here for you if you ever need anything, just like you have always been there for me. I am so sorry this is happenning to little Zack and to you. I'm sure there is nothing now that can ease your pain but I pray you will find the strength to get through this horrible time.

All my love

Lori
Aurora, IL usa - Wednesday, September 25, 2002 at 10:49 AM (CDT)

---

I will pray for your adorable little guy!! miracles do happen. Please pray for my friend Bella, shes 4 years old, receiving palliative care, radiation, and chemo for medullablastoma, pleasep pray for her and her famiy..her mom only has her, no other kids, and not much family. thank you
ashley
ny, ny usa - Sunday, September 22, 2002 at 01:44 PM (CDT)

---

Hi, Zack!!! Grandma wants you to know how happy I was to see you playing the video games and riding the go-carts at Haunted Trails last week. Grandma took alot of videos and pictures of you. I have never seen a kid enjoy himself so much playing video games he couldn't see because you are so small. Non the less, you won tons of tickets and got some really nice prizes. I am glad you and Jake could come that day. I love you so much, honey. It breaks my heart to see you when you hurt. You are one very brave little boy. God loves you, baby. Love ya with all my heart.
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Tuesday, September 17, 2002 at 09:28 PM (CDT)

---

To Zack and Family, just keep your heads up high and let God direct your path. Lean not to your own understand, but in always acknowledge him. For he will never leave you nor forsake you. Cast your cares upon him for he cares for you. Just put your trust in him... God bless you all...
Tonya M. Jeudy <tjeudy@msn.com>
Schaumburg, Il Cook - Thursday, September 05, 2002 at 12:08 PM (CDT)

---

What a strong little boy and family. Looking at your pictures made me smile and yet cry. I don't even know what to write but I had to write something. My son has hepatoblastoma and he is fighting hard just like your cute son. I wish you all the best of luck. May some higher power guide you through this tough time.
Laura Junker <XLovinlilajX@aol.com>
Mankato, MN USA - Wednesday, September 04, 2002 at 02:19 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack
It was so nice to spend the day playing with you. Sorry we had to cut your trip short at Santa's Village but maybe we can go back there another time. Grant, Jack, and Dylan had a lot of fun when you came over. We can play cars again and go down the slide lots more. I'll chase you again even though you are too fast for me and you tire me out!! You are looking so good and healthy and strong. Thank you for letting us be your friends and playing with us. See you soon!! Love you.
Lori, Mark, Grant, Jack, and Dylan
Lori Howard <Marklori5@msn.com>
Aurora , IL USA - Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 03:26 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Zack & family - You don't know me but I am a lifelong friend of Jack Howard's mom. I am so sorry to hear of yet another child having to suffer through this horrible disease and wanted to let you all know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I don't know you personally, but I commend anyone who deals with this disease. I myself have a 3˝ year old and an 11 month old and could not imagine having your strength. Things like this truly only happen to SPECIAL PEOPLE. Enjoy your time with Zack. Make every minute count!
Holly Gerardi <jhbgerardi@aol.com>
Stillwater, NY USA - Tuesday, August 27, 2002 at 08:54 AM (CDT)

---

cotimaglione@msn.com
thats my email, if u want me to write u an email tell somedy to let me know, Take care
constanza
- Friday, August 23, 2002 at 05:40 PM (CDT)

---

Hello Zack, i just wanted u to know that u are in my thoughts and prayers, i will love to keep in touch with u if u want me too...I know you are going to get better and everything is going to be ok... love constanza

constanza
- Friday, August 23, 2002 at 05:37 PM (CDT)

---

Hello Zack, i just wanted u to know that u are in my thoughts and prayers, i will love to keep in touch with u if u want me too...I know you are going to get better and everything is going to be ok... love constanza

constanza
- Friday, August 23, 2002 at 05:35 PM (CDT)

---

To Zack and his family,
Know that I am praying for you. I know this must be a troubling and hard time, but my prayers and thoughts are with you. Know that it is in God's hands, whatever may happen. I know the news you recently received is even harder to bear. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and know that you hav a place also in my heart.
Michelle Poepsel <hiskid264@lycos.com>
Magnolia, TX USA - Wednesday, August 21, 2002 at 05:40 PM (CDT)

---

Zack,
One of the happiest days of my life was the day you were born.I was your first babysitter and you were a joy to have with me.I hope you remember all the times we did our ABC'S and 123's and read "Goodnight Moon" over and over again, and playing "this little piggy". When you learned to walk the first thing you would do when you came to the house is run into Nathan's room and pull out the toys from under the bed. The funniest thing was when I found you sitting in the middle of the toy box with a huge smile on your face. You've only been here a little while,but you've brought so much joy to all of our lives. Your cousins will never forget all the times you've spent together.It will help me to know that when your in heaven that you wont be sick anymore and will beable to play and run and jump and have no more pain. In heaven you'll meet all kinds of people who love you too such as Great Grandma and Grandpa Boyer and Great Grandma and Grandpa Everts and my mom her name is Kay. You're a special angel put here on earth to make us realize justhow precious life is. I love you with all my heart and soul and you'll always have a special place in my heart. The hardest day of my life will be the day you leave us. I was there when you were born and I thought you would see me leave first not the other way around.With all my love Aunt Connie
C. Tongue <t.toguejr.attbi.com>
Crest Hill, Il usa - Monday, August 19, 2002 at 01:54 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Becky and family,
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and I am including Zack and your family in my prayers. I wish there was something I could do to help. I'm sure Zack will love going to Disneyworld with his new baby brother. Enjoy your precious time together. Love to you and your family.
Terri O'Toole-Wuitschick <tgwuitsc@lightspeed.net>
Santa Maria, CA 93454 - Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 11:27 AM (CDT)

---

I have been following your trials since your grandmother posted them out there. I have kept praying for you and your family. I never knew anything about this until one of our daycare babies was diagnosed with it. I have watched her and her parents be strong for everyone, just like you and your family have been strong for everyone around you. Keep your head up high because you have fought a good fight. I hope that you have a wonderful trip to Disney World. It is an awesome place to go. Congratulations on the newest addition to your family. May God bless you and keep you.
Danielle Baker <dannibaker356@hotmail.com>
Wichita, KS USA - Friday, August 09, 2002 at 01:57 PM (CDT)

---

My daughter Megan was diagnosed with Stage IV Hepatoblastoma in November 2001. She finished chemo in May of 2002. I understand your pain and I admire your strength. Just do the best you can and know that we are all here for you. God's blessings on your family.

Angela Aune <Aune1@prodigy.net>
Wichita, KS USA - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 03:23 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Becky, mike, and Zack,
Let me first say how brave I think you all are. Becky I am sorry for the pain you have had to endure for zack and after nick told us that the doctors gave zack 1-3 months to live my heart broke for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through but I think you and zack are very remarkable people. You both have so much strength and courage. Zack I have prayed for you every day since this began and so has everyone else I know. You are a very lucky little boy to have so many people that love you. You are an angel. Becky, you may not be religious but I truely believe God has a very special place for your son and will take care of him. I know that doesn't ease the pain you feel or the heart break you feel having your son takin from you. I would also like you to know that from the first time I met him I thougth he was precious and knew that he was an extrodanary little boy. All of you hang in there. We will still pray for all of you every day and have a wonderful time in florida.
Laura, Paul, Jenny, Linda, and Gaylord
Lockport, IL USA - Thursday, August 08, 2002 at 01:51 AM (CDT)

---

Dear Zack, we all feel for you... May God give you strength for this tough time that you go thru...we may not be of much help but we will pray for you and be with you in heart. Take care...God Bless You and your family...With love, monica
Monica Chai <mouseC2@excite.com>
P Jaya, SEL Malaysia - Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 08:28 PM (CDT)

---

To the family of Zack, I can not say that I am in your exact situation, but our son was also diagnosed with Heptoblastoma on 1-22-02 at 6 1/2 months of age. He is now done with treatments. My family can relate to your situation due to our son's having the same horrible cancer. I just want to let you know that we have been praying for Zack and the family since we found out about his diagnosis. We have also requested special prayers from everyone on our email update listing to pray for Zack and your family. We are just a few hours away if there is anything we could ever do - please, please don't hesitate to contact us. I have given our phone number to Beth.

Scott and Lynn Spillman <patrol227@aol.com>
Avon, IN USA - Wednesday, August 07, 2002 at 07:04 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Zach and Family,
My son Luke Neuhedel died last March from hepatoblastoma. He was diagnosed 8/99 and we were told he would not live even one month because the tumor on his liver was the size of a grapefruit and he had 30-some spots on his lungs. Well, Luke proved them wrong by living for 2 1/2 years with cancer. During his journey he taught us many things, for example, to enjoy every moment as much as you can, and to choose wisely what to do with your time. He taught us what is really important. Through him we were introduced to a whole new world and a whole new attitude, and our family has grown with all the friends he made all over the world. While we miss him every day, I am so thankful that I was chosen to care for this special boy and had the time I did with him. And we felt we had to keep that spirit alive, so we have established the Luke Neuhedel Foundation. Our mission is to help children with cancer and their families by funding research treatment and presenting them with gifts, especially the little children who are too young to qualify for many "wish" organizations. We hope to improve their quality of life, just like we tried to do with Luke, and to improve the odds the children must face. They are all so brave... Luke is with me every day, inspiring me to help other kids, and I know I will be with him one day, and that will be forever. Zach is in my prayers, and in the prayers of all of Luke's friends.


Rebecca A. Tolson Neuhedel < www.lukefund.org>
Massapequa Park, NY - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 02:38 PM (CDT)

---

For Zack and his family, I'm from the Liver Oncology List and am praying for you.
Jean Frisch <bikerlady9@yahoo.com>
Orlando, FL USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 01:17 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack,

Congratulations on your new baby! Just wanted you to know that I am praying every day for you and your family. Hang in there, kiddo! You have a lot of folks who are "storimin' heaven" in your name.

Love,

Elaine from Long Island, New York
elaine bruckner <ebruckne@liu.edu>
Carle Place, NY USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 01:14 PM (CDT)

---

Zack and Family, I belong to your Grandma's liver oncology support group, so that is my connection to you. My heart goes out to you all. You have so many people here on earth caring for you and praying for you. And I am certain there are just as many, if not far far more, souls in heaven who will be doing the same when you get there. Among them will be my own Mom, Janice, whose path to heaven was also this disease. We will all be there together someday, although we have to have different ETA's. Keep the faith even in these most difficult of times. Use the strength and power of love that surrounds you to help you. I will be praying for you all.


Kim W
Indianapolis, IN USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 10:47 AM (CDT)

---

My father was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer and has been given at most a few months. I only thought nothing could be more sad, but my heart breaks to hear what you are going through. It just seems so unfair. May God bless you and keep you strong!
Sherrye LaCour <slacour@madisonthecity.com>
Madison, MS USA - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 10:14 AM (CDT)

---

Keep you chin up and smile always. We all love you and your family. Take care.
Mike Sheridan <amsheri@missi.ncsc.mil>
Dayton, Md. Us - Monday, August 05, 2002 at 06:53 AM (CDT)

---

Dear Zach and family,
I am praying for all of you. My daughter has just gone into remission with her cancer.I remember what she told me when she was very ill. No matter what happens to me I know that God is going to take care of me, whether it is on this earth or in heaven. I told her yes I know but I thought how terribly bad we would miss her. Zach will be alright, he will be taken care. I pray so much for strength for his family who will miss him but were blessed to have an angel on earth in their lives.God sees the big picture and maybe it is best if he doesn't show it to us right now . May you have srength to make it one day at a time. Love him a lifetime and may God bless your new baby with all the strength and courage of his big brother. Love you, Retta
Loretta England <tornado@herwire.com>
Mc Alester , OK United States - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 11:35 PM (CDT)

---

Becky & Family,
I just read with great sadness the prognosis Zach has received. I want you to know that I cried tears for your son as if he was my own because we all are battling this monster together. I am not sure how to take this as God gives us one blessing in the other hand he is taking it away. Maybe it's his way of ending the suffering for our kids but I think it's so unfair & unfathonable. I didn't want my son to be an angel, he already is one to me. Congratulations on the birth of Jacob & may you have comfort & peace with the quality you will have with Zach. Many thoughts, hopes, & prayers go out to you & yours.

In Faith in Battling this Monster,
tina Dyl baby's mum
Tina & Tony Viscusi <Tnt12999@msn.com>
Blue Knob, PA USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 10:36 PM (CDT)

---

Becky, Your Mom has shared the sad news of your son Zack, my heart breaks for you. Enjoy and treasure each moment you have and know that there are many people offering up prayers for all of you.
Connie Raddatz <craddatz54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 07:37 PM (CDT)

---

To Zack and Family our hearts and prayers are with you. Cngradulations on your new addition to your Family.
Andy,Michelle,Catherine,Sarah Cortista <SunFlowerMom2@Aol.Com>
Chesapeake, Va USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 05:34 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Becky and family,
I know you don't know us but I hope you find comfort in knowing your family has been in our thoughts and prayers very much! Because our son Carter fought Hepatoblastoma last year I feel a strong connection. I don't understand why somebody should go through so much pain I don't know what to say. I will pray for strength for you!! I will pray for comfort for Zach. Thank you for sharing your story. It is hard to go onto these sites and read what is happening but this disease was a part of our lives and always will be .
Wishing there was more we could do,
Sincerely,
The Thomas family (Carter, Steve, Diane, Amanda & Brock

Diane Thomas <mollybrownsd@juno.com>
Rapid City, SD USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 01:54 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Zach ,

I know you are a brave little boy. My little boy Carter also had Hepatoblastoma. We are so sorry what you are going through. Our Carter's disease has taught my older two children 11 years and 13 years so much! They pray for you every night. We also just got back from Disney World and it was WONDERFUL!! We wish for you a wonderful trip with your family. You are very special to us even though we've never met you. You are very special!! I'll bet you are a terrific brother.
Diane Thomas (mother of Carter) <mollybrownsd@juno.com>
Rapid City, SD USA - Sunday, August 04, 2002 at 01:42 PM (CDT)

---

Dear Family,
Congratulations on the birth of your son. Your family is in our prayers. Our daughter Rebekah was diagnosed at 12 months with Hepatoblastoma Stage III. She will be two in a week, and is currently in remission. We are praying for you and especially little Zack.

Toni Mason <staklm@hotmail.com>
Somerset, KY USA - Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 10:40 PM (CDT)

---

You are "ALL" in my Thoughts, heart and Prayers!!
May you all be held in the comfort of the soft wings of Angels on this journey.
I pray for healing.
Love, to you all ~Jen

D.Enise <cjhorses@gwtc.net>
SD USA - Saturday, August 03, 2002 at 05:43 PM (CDT)

---

((((((HUGS))))))Becky, Mike, Zack, & Jacob...I was so sad to hear this news today. I have been following Zack's journey on the Nat'l Children's Cancer BB. My son is traveling the same road now since this spring when his cancer returned to distant sites. We don't know how long we will have Jacob either, but I pray it is as long as possible with out either of them suffering or in pain. Feel free to e-mail me anytime. Remember that God loves our children even more than we do!
Jennifer <honeyckcjw@yahoo.com>
IA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 06:04 PM (CDT)

---

I WILL BE PRAYING FOR ALL OF YOU .IT IS TIME TO GIVE ZACH BACK HIS LIFE.LOVE HIM AS USUAL AND TRY REAL HARD TO NOT THINK ABOUT ALL THAT IS GOING ON.IT WILL BE HARD AND I WILL PRAY TO MY ANGEL JIMMY TO WATCH OVER HIM.I LOST MY SON TO THIS CANCER AND I REALLY KNOW HOW ALL OF YOU ARE FEELING.I PRETENDED ALOT FOR JIMMY WHEN I WANTED TO JUST CRY AND SCREAM I WOULD JUST SMILE AND HUG HIM.HE ONCE CAUGHT ME CRYING AND SAID " MOMMY DONT CRY IT'S O.K. " A 3 1/2 YEAR OLD WORRYING ABOUT MOMMY.I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM BUT LIFE BECAME SO UNFAIR AND I KNOW HE IS CURED NOW AND SO HAPPY.JUST BE THIER FOR HIM AS ALWAYS DO NOT MOURN HIM WHILE HE IS HERE .I DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND NEVER WILL WHY THIS HAPPENS TO OUR BABIES I BELIEVE THEY ARE ANGELS AND WE HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY THEM.
MARLENE HEFFERNAN - JIMMYS MOM ALWAYS <MDH1778>
WAYNE, NJ USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:19 PM (CDT)

---

I belong to the liver oncology support group on line and just wanted you to know that you are your family are in my prayers.
Brenda Walker <jimw@dmv.com>
federalsburg, md us - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 03:25 PM (CDT)

---

Becky and Mike~~ My heart aches as I read about the sadness you are facing. Yes, I do understand how difficult it was to make the decision to opt for quality of life. My Bill and I made that same decision not too long ago. May I assure you it was the best one and even at the end we knew it had been the right thing to do. Life is not forever-love is.
Dianne {missing Bill} <waroblin@telusplanet.net>
Cardston, AB Canada - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 02:30 PM (CDT)

---

Your story breaks my heart. Your courage inspires me. I will always remember the journey you faced and continue to travel, because I have prayed beside you. Zack is an angel on earth. When his visit is over, he will touch the lives of other children as an angel in heaven.
Vanessa Miller
Hood River, OR - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 12:56 PM (CDT)

---

Mike and Becky
I will be keeping you in my prayers. Zack has touched many hearts and will be remembered for a long time. I know it isn't any consolation but God must need another angel.
Kimberly Walsh <wuzlbean@hotmail.com>
Naples, FL USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 11:21 AM (CDT)

---

May God Bless you Zack and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Patty Schwartz
Teaneck, NJ USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 11:11 AM (CDT)

---

Mike and Becky, I'm really sorry this is happening to you guys. Poor Zack has been through so much in the past 6 months. It's not fair that after all he's been through he's going to lose his battle. I'm really glad that I got to see him again Tuesday at Children's Memorial. If you can, try to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and his birthday with him in the next few months. Give him a big hug for me.
Love,
Dennis
Dennis Collins
Hainesville, il. USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 10:06 AM (CDT)

---

Your whole family is in our prayer's!
DENA
Vacaville, ca solano - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 10:00 AM (CDT)

---

You are in my thoughts......... god bless
pat drake
southern, ca - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 09:49 AM (CDT)

---

Becky, Zack, and family,

I am not a religious person, but I do pray for people who may need an extra voice for health. Please know that my family and I are rooting for Zack and hope that your whole family will all find peace in whatever follows.
Clifford Nass
Stanford, CA 94305 - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 09:43 AM (CDT)

---

hi becky , mike, zack and baby jake,
i wanted u to know u r in my prayers as well as my family. becky i hope that u r feeling beter ur mom keeps us posted on ur progress. mike i know u r tired and ready to take ur family on a nice long vacation. zack don't give up the fight it is hard but ur heart is in the right place have faith and trust in the lord and things will b ok, jake i know u r a welcome addition to ur family and u have broke such joy. ur family is in oour prayers..

The Gibson's dawn and jhadia
dawn gibson
lawton, , ok usa - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 09:20 AM (CDT)

---

Dear Zack,This is your Aunt Ginny. Things aren't suppose to go this way but there must be a plan. I have no idea what it could be but believe me something is going on. I pray for you daily and I know that God will watch out for you. It's going to be a very hard and trying time for us all but hopefully we will be able to get through this. We love you and think of you often.Love,Aunt Ginny
Aunt Ginny Murphey
Rockdale, il USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 09:04 AM (CDT)

---

Keeping Zack and your entire family in my prayers.

Libby Pearson
Smackover, AR USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 09:04 AM (CDT)

---

God bless this dear family. I wish so much there was more I could do but pray. I know I have never met this sweet child, but I Love him so much. He has become so close to my heart. My prayers are with him and all of you. Beth, Mike, Becky...be strong in the Lord. I feel so helpless. May God strengthen all of us. Hugggggggggs to all of you, especially little Zack!
Linda Hill
Blairs, Va. USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 08:48 AM (CDT)

---

To Zack and his Family,
You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that there are lots of people pulling for you. Hang on.


Linda Allen
Clinton, NJ USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 07:58 AM (CDT)

---

God bless your entire family, I cannot possibly imagine how you must feel right now. Take care. :)
Flip
St. Thomas, Ontario Canada - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 07:33 AM (CDT)

---

Becky, Mike, Beth, Jacob, and of course Zack, my prayers continue to be with you. I can't imagine the pain that you're feeling but I do know that God has you in the palm of His hand and will help you through this. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
Shari Swender
Newton, KS USA - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 07:02 AM (CDT)

---

God Bless to you Zack and your family. You have been in my prayers ever since Grandma Beth told me and everyone at work. God Bless and keep fighting!!Love Jenny
Jennifer Steinquist
Joliet, Il - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 05:53 AM (CDT)

---

Dear Beth, Becky, Zack and Jake,
my heart broke when I heard your news...Zack is so young it seems so unfair...I prayed so hard for the little guy and now this...enjoy your time with him it is so precious..I will continue praying for you to have the strength to get thru this next period of your lives...If I can do anything at all from over here in Australia please let me know..I will be dedicating the Big Red Ride to Zack...
God Bless you all...take care
Kevin
www.thebigredride.com
Kevin McNamara
Melbourne, Victoria Australia - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 01:58 AM (CDT)

---

KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS FOR EVER . lOVE YOU
susan sisco
sparta, TN United States - Friday, August 02, 2002 at 01:22 AM (CDT)

---

Becky and family
I am so sorry this has to be the outcome. I prayed so hard for Zack. I will continue to pray that everything is peaceful for him. I am here if you need anything during this horrible time. Enjoy every moment with him, especially with Mickey Mouse. He is lucky to have you two as parents. He is very loved!!
Lori Howard
aurora, Il USA - Thursday, August 01, 2002 at 11:48 PM (CDT)

---

Congratulations everyone on your newest member. We are so happy for you. I hope everyone is feeling fine and that you are enjoying baby Jake. We can't wait to meet him!!
Take care
Lori and family
LORI HOWARD
Aurora , Il USA - Sunday, July 28, 2002 at 12:12 AM (CDT)

---

Becky, Ccongratulations on the birth of Jacob. I'm sure he is a beautiful little guy. I hope your head is not hurting today. Zack has even more reason to beat his cancer. I'm sure he will make a great big brother!!! I will pray that Jake will be a healthy little boy and that his big brother will somehow make a miraculous turnaround.
Your family is always in my thoughts and prayers,
God bless,
Dennis
Dennis Collins
Hainesville, IL USA - Wednesday, July 24, 2002 at 10:58 AM (CDT)

---

Zach and Family: We send Zach and your family our prayers. Our son, Mark, fought the same enemy, Hepatoblastoma, Stage 3. He is now on the road to remission. There are several different protocols do not lose hope. I pray for the right therapy for your Son to get him to, and through, a successful surgery. Sending you hope and prayers across the miles . . . Chris Galanti and Family
Chris Galanti
Northridge, CA - Tuesday, July 23, 2002 at 02:17 PM (CDT)

---

hi becky,
make a wish foudations sent us to disney world boy we had fun. they were at the airport when we got there, we had a rent a car a lin. town car, leather fully loaded. u stay at give the kids the world. they have an ice cream parlor that is open all day till 10pm i think with hots dogs all u can eat. breakfast and dinner are servered in this dining room that is so cool. the disney characters come twice a week when u r eating. they have a pool and a train. the duplexs u stay in r so nice fully stocked , washers and dryer, sunken tubs. big beds. everyday u come home there is presents waiting for all the kids from the major and his wife his is a big rabbit. u go see the fairy god mothers in the castle she gives u a star u put his name on in and the date and they put it on the ceiling with all the other stars u will see them and remember what i said. santa is there they light the tree and picked jhadia she always gets picked. they all get shirts and she gets a presents. u get to go to disney world, sea world, wild kigdom, epcot, i forgot the other one. they give u tickets to get into the alligtor part we went too cool. u can go all these places for free. they give u a pin with zacks name on it and when u go to the parks go to the handicap exit show then the pin u won't have to wait u get straight on cool too no waiting. every park they will take pic's when u get in there u can get them free when u leave cool again. oh yeah universal studios. i saw the flintstones "i" was happy. the hard rock cafe is cool, alot of memeories in one place. but they will fuss over u guys. take alot of film. oh yeah we got a private show at seaworld with the killer whales for her they will do anything u ask u will b amazed at what they do for these kids. u get a cam corder for a day they will give u the movie when u go. but u will b ready to leave after 5 days u will b tired. but u do get to park in handicap spots so not much walking. it is totally amazing all the characters know what the deal is and will spoil him trust me u will b impressed. they sent her a box before we went with frames autograph book, t shirts. warning we had to buy another bag to come home with we got so much stuff. but it is fantastic, we had a ball and memories forever. i hope the doctor gives u more info on zack and put ur mind at eas, ur mom emailed me and let me know what they said. dawn and jhadia
dawn gibson <dgi8517133@aol.com>
lawton, ok 73501 - Saturday, July 13, 2002 at 12:04 AM (CDT)

---

Your and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the fight. Congratulations on the new baby. God Bless.
Danielle Baker <dannibaker356@hotmail.com>
Wichita, KS - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 01:11 PM (CDT)

---

God Bless you!

I asked the Lord to bless you

As I prayed for you today

To guide you and protect you

As you go along your way....

His love is always with you

His promises are true

No matter what the tribulation

You know He will see us through

So, when the road you're traveling on

Seems difficult at best

Give your problems to the Lord

And God will do the rest.

Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, il. USA - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 11:47 AM (CDT)

---

Hi Becky, so sorry to hear that there wasn't any improvement. I would think that they would keep Zack on the doxorubicin since his afp is dropping and the cancer hasn't spread further and then combine it with something else that might actually kill the cancer. Hang in there Zack and don't give up. A miracle might be right around the corner!!! I will keep praying for you. Have fun at Disneyland!!! One day you and Jade will tell all of your friends about your victory!!! Keep the faith guys!!
God bless,
Dennis (Jade's dad)
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, il usa - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:22 AM (CDT)

---

Hi Becky, so sorry to hear that there wasn't any improvement. I would think that they would keep Zack on the doxorubicin since his afp is dropping and the cancer hasn't spread further and then combine it with something else that might actually kill the cancer. Hang in there Zack and don't give up. A miracle might be right around the corner!!! I will keep praying for you. Have fun at Disneyland!!! One day you and Jade will tell all of your friends about your victory!!! Keep the faith guys!!
God bless,
Dennis (Jade's dad)
Dennis Collins <djcis1@netzero.net>
Hainesville, il usa - Friday, July 12, 2002 at 09:22 AM (CDT)

---

hi zack, mom and dad, my name is dawn my daughter has aml. i know ur story through ur grandma. she keeps us updated with nccs. i c alot of the girls have witten u. u r a strong lil boy to go through so much. i whatch jhadia and i realize how strong u kids r. u r born fighters..i hope ur scan went well and the doc's give u guys good news. let us know what ur mommy has. be a big boy and keep smiling. u r in goood hands....hugs and kisses dawn & jhadia
dawn gibson <dgi8517133@aol.com>
lawton, ok usa - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 09:04 PM (CDT)

---

I AM PRAYING FOR YOUR ZACK. I HAVE A GRANDSON NAME ZACH WITH THE SAME DISEASE.GOD LOVES YOU AND I DO TOO.
CAROLYN MARTIN <CEMARTINSOO@CHARTER.NET>
FLOWERY BRANCH, GA USA - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 03:09 PM (CDT)

---

Our prayers are with you all.
Diane and John Schoaf
Diane Schoaf <jdschoaf@coiinc.com>
Dixon, IL U.S.A. - Wednesday, July 10, 2002 at 02:23 PM (CDT)

---

HI ZACK AND FAMILY

JUST A LITTLE NOTE TO LET YOU KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY PRAYERS AND YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE PRAYING FOR YOU TOMMORROW FOR YOUR SCAN. IT'S TIME FOR GREAT NEWS!! I WILL BE SENDING POSITIVE THOUGHTS YOUR WAY ON WEDNESDAY. WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU ON MONDAY SO WE CAN PLAY CARS. WE HAVE 100'S TO CHOOSE FROM!! GRANT AND JACK ALSO CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW YOU THEIR DINOSAURS. WE WILL HAVE LOTS OF FUN.
YOU ARE GOING TO DO GREAT TOMMORROW!!

LOVE
LORI,MARK,GRANT,JACK,AND DYLAN
LORI HOWARD <Marklori5@msn.com>
Aurora , Illinois USA - Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 09:41 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack,
YOU CAN DO IT! I can't wait to see you in our restaurant. I have a slice of lemon waiting for you because I can't wait to see you make that funny face again! You, your mom & dad and Grandma Beth are ALWAYS in our prayers. We Love You.
Mike & Jim
Mike Blair <mcbrkfd@msn.com>
Rockford, IL USA - Monday, July 08, 2002 at 05:32 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack (and Becky & Mike),
I have e-mailed your grandma and she is a sweet lady. I can tell what a wonderful grandma she must be! My little boy (who is 4 now) was diagnosed with hepatoblastoma when he was 4 months old. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Cem Weaver <keithandcem@centurytel.net>
- Sunday, July 07, 2002 at 11:29 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack
I know that you dont remember me but I remember you. Your grandma is very worried about you and we are all praying very hard for you to get better. I worked with your grandma a few years back and remember when you were born how proud she was. I pray for you every night. Get well baby.....
joan littrell <littrellfl@aol.com>
valrico, fl 33594 - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 03:22 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack, (and Mommy and Daddy too!)
I just want you to know that we are all praying for you, and for your cat-scan on the 10th, and also for you as you begin your new treatments.
Mommy and daddy, we are praying for you too, as you await the entrance of Zack's little brother/sister. May you have a safe delivery and may the baby be perfectly healthy.
God bless you, and we all love you.
Grampa Jim
http://www.kidsneedprayer.net/zack.html
Grampa Jim <GrampaJim@kidsneedprayer.net>
Monrovia, Maryland US - Saturday, July 06, 2002 at 11:10 AM (CDT)

---

Zack,

I am so sorry to here your are sick. I have a little boy that is sick too although not cancer. I hope you and your family are having a good day today and we will keep you in our prayers. God Bless!!
Sara ( mom of Jakob www14.brinkster.com/jakobyeager) <pssara@mohaveaz.com>
BHC, AZ USA - Friday, July 05, 2002 at 08:54 PM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack,
Good luck with your ct scan on the 10th. You have a lot of people praying for you, including me. Keep fighting the fight and get well soon!!!
God bless,
Jade's Dad
Dennis Collins <djcis@netzero.net>
Hainesville, IL USA - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 10:04 AM (CDT)

---

Zack, We are all praying for you. All of us on the board at children-ca.org. Im sure you are excited about having a brother/sister. Let us know what you mama has.
Missy <Lmissy101@aol.com>
Stafford, VA USA - Thursday, July 04, 2002 at 09:09 AM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack,
I am from the National Children's Cancer Society. Your wonderful grandma has been sharing your story with us and I just wanted you to know that we are thinking about you. You are so strong and brave, keep it up! You are my thoughts and prayers.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Jessica <jrieser@children-cancer.com>
St Louis, MO USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 09:43 AM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack,
My name is Tina and I have a 4 year old son, Kenton, who was diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma stage 2, in August of 2000. Your grandma has been keeping all of us at National Childrens Cancer Society, updated with how you are doing. You have a very special grandma who really loves you and so do we. We pray for you all the time to get strong. You are a special little boy, and you are strong. You keep fighting and we will all be with you, fighting too. And to Becky, you stay in my prayers, I know what you are going thru. Stay strong and keep the faith, the road is long, but you have a lot of people who care and are praying for all of you. Take care of yourself and the new baby. God bless

Lots of Love,
Tina, Family Forum of NCCS----Kenton's mother
Tina Haygood <haygoodt@aol.com>
Deatsville, Al USA - Wednesday, July 03, 2002 at 12:24 AM (CDT)

---

Hi Zack

Jack is looking forward to playing with you as soon as you are feeling up to it. It was so nice to finally get to meet you, you are such a handsome little guy. Pretty soon you are going to be a big brother, that's very exciting!!
You are so strong and brave, I know you are going to do wonderful things. You have already proven yourself a fighter!! Just know you have friends everywhere who are praying for you. Hope to see you again soon.

The Howards
Mark, Lori, Grant, Dylan and your cancer buddy, Jack.
LORI HOWARD <Marklori5@msn.com>
Aurora, IL USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 10:31 PM (CDT)

---

Zack, my name is Greg Jones, I have a daughter that had hepatoblastoma,she was 10 months old, last august 29, as of march 17th she is cancer free, you can do it we are all praying for you, God bless
Gracie Jones/ Greg Jones <Jonessss@bellsouth.net>
Hendersonville , tn usa - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 06:23 PM (CDT)

---

Hi, Zack! I just wanted to tell you how brave you are and how proud I am of you. You are loved so much. Keep fighting
honey. You have so many people praying for you. I love you, baby. God bless you.
Grandma Boyer <Bethcountry54@aol.com>
Joliet, IL USA - Tuesday, July 02, 2002 at 03:23 PM (CDT)

---