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Thursday, October 9, 2008 4:11 AM CDT

ZACHARY'S PAGE

THIS IS A REPOST FROM ZACHS PAGE PLEASE PRAY FOR THEM.. WE NEED ALL THE PRAYER WARRIORS STORMING THE HEAVENS TODAY. PLEASE!!

Welcome to Zachary's Web Page. It has been provided to keep everyone updated about his progress. It is also the gathering place for the Cancer Sucks Club!

Journal

Wednesday, October 8, 2008 6:43 PM CDT

Someone once told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!” If I followed that advice, you would not be getting an update tonight!

If I were given a choice, to choose between;

A). Writing this update.
B). Having a colonoscopy without anesthesia.
C). Having root canal without Novocain.
D). Receiving an acupuncture treatment of 20 needles in my private parts.

I would choose B, C & D, simultaneously, all in an effort to avoid the inevitable……….passing along bad news to all of you.

As you already know, Rebecca and Zachary are up in Philly having a variety of tests done. The plan WAS to begin today on the phase I pill chemo that would have been “easy” to take and “not hard on the system.”

Unfortunately, the test results were bad……very bad. Zachary now has bone marrow disease again. I can’t remember how long it has been since his marrow has shown disease, maybe several years, but it’s there again, /- 50His MIBG scan now shows disease in many, many places. The primary suspects right now are the spine, hips and skull. He is experiencing pain in his head, legs, and hips. All of this is due to the rapid growth of the cancer in his bones and marrow.

I was at work today when I received this wonderful (NOT) news. I had told Rebecca that if there were treatment decisions to be made, that I could take the call so that I could be included in the plan. Apparently, before I got on the phone, Zachary had asked his doctor if he could just, “go home to be with his friends and girl friend, and take about a year off from treatment.” The doctor had the horrible job of informing Zachary that his cancer is growing rapidly and that if he did not go onto a new treatment, he would probably only have about 6 weeks to live. (Not good news…..in case you were wondering.)

You may recall that the last time we faced this type of news; Zachary was not immediately onboard with the idea of jumping into another treatment. This time was no different. The doctor informed us that the original plan of trying a pill chemo had to be scrapped. She did NOT have enough faith in any of the pill chemo’s ability to knock back the disease, so she wanted to do something else. Her recommendation was to immediately jump back into a third MIBG therapy. (Get admitted today and start treatment tomorrow morning.) Instead of coming home Friday, they would have to stay the weekend and wait for his radiation levels to drop to an acceptable level, which meant they could probably come home Monday, or Tuesday at the latest. She also wants him to go back to Gainesville in two weeks to get the last of his stem cells. This will (should) jump start his immune system and be a preemptive strike on his blood making abilities. Instead of waiting for his counts to drop and then wasting 4 – 6 weeks on transfusions, we will have given him a better chance of recovering quickly from the MIBG therapy. Then, once his counts have stabilized, he will need to return to Philly for reevaluation, and hopefully THEN be able to start on one of the pill chemos, which should (fingers crossed) be able to keep the disease from spreading. This is all contingent of course on the success of the MIBG therapy. (We need step 1 to get him eligible for step 2.)

(I would like to pause here briefly to say that this all SUCKS BIG TIME! I assume you knew that already, but just in case, I thought I would tell you.)

Here I am, three weeks into my new job, unable to be there with them in Philly, to help navigate this mess. We can’t afford for me to be out of work…….and even if we could, I’m in the middle of learning everything that I will need to know once they transfer me from the training store. (God may be testing me……..I just hope that he/she keeps in mind that I was only a ‘C’ student!)

Tomorrow I don’t have to be in to work until 12pm, so hopefully I will be able to recharge my emotional batteries somewhat. I never sleep well with them out of town, but not having to get up at the crack of dawn might help.

Meanwhile, Rebecca is stuck in a lead-lined room with a miserable 14 year old who would rather be ANYWHERE else in the world than where he is right now!

Yeah……..no matter what angle I view our current dilemma from, it pretty much SUCKS! From the top, the side, the bottom….it’s one BIG SUCKFEST going on for us right about now.

The only “good” news that the doctors had for us was that in spite of Zachary’s bone marrow disease, and in spite of the multiple bone lesions, his blood counts were very good. This means that he is still making platelets, red blood cells, and white blood cells. There are no guarantees, but they are hopeful that because his counts are good now, once he gets his stem cells back, he will bounce back quickly.

After work today I went to the bowling alley to watch his teammates in a match. On the way there I picked up a Get Well card for him, and I had all of the boys and girls from the bowling team sign the card. The coaches were really nice about having the players all stick around to sign it for him. They also got another surprise for him that will be waiting for him when he gets home. I’m going to overnight the card tomorrow so that it gets there on Friday….that way it will cheer him up a bit before the weekend. (At least that’s the plan anyway.)

I’m pretty tired, and emotionally spent, so I am going to sign off now and let you all absorb this update. I wish that I had something profound or encouraging to add, but I’m at a loss right now.

Scott

P.S. Rebecca and Zachary have their cell phones. After tonight, Zachary will not be allowed to handle a phone, but Rebecca can put one on speaker phone for him. He would love to hear from his friends. If you have his number, don’t hesitate to call!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008 8:28 PM CDT

SOME TIMES I JUST WRITE WITH NO DIRECTION ..OTHERS ..WELL THERE IS DIRECTION BUT IM JUST NOT SURE WHAT IT IS.

YESTERDAY I FELL INTO A BLOGGERS SITE. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT THERE BUT WHEN I DID I FOUND THIS POEM THAT I SWEAR TO YOU WAS LIKE SHE WROTE ABOUT MIKE. I DONT KNOW HER NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN TO HER PAGE BEFORE YESTERDAY. THIS IS THE POEM:

For Why?
He goes
from boy
to patient
in a
BLIP
of a second.

Rides past
on his bike

Arms outstretched.

Feeling the wind

Helmet on head.

But what's been protecting
keeping the mass
from
growing
inside?

I imagine

This boy.

His laughter.

His charm.

Wooing staff.

As they take his blond locks.

His smooth head.

As he champions
for the fight
of his life.

One
I know
he will
surely
win.

Because
He
Is
Michael.
PLEASE CHECK OUT STEPHANIES BLOG AT ;
http://www.manicmommy.blogspot.com/

I WROTE TO THIS BLOGGER AND REQUESTED PERMISSION TO POST HER POEM AS WELL AS THANKED HER FOR FALLING INTO MY HEART LIKE SHE DID.. HER FRIENDS SON WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH BRAIN CANCER THIS PAST WEEK .. YOU KNOW YOU NEVER MEET SOMEONE BY CHANCE THERE IS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING AND A HAND OF GOD ALWAYS INVOLVED. MAYBE SHE WAS SENT TO ME SO SHE COULD SEE SOME HOPE! I DONT KNOW FOR SURE BUT I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE FALLEN INTO HER BLOG!!

******************************************************************************************************************

UPDATE ON TY-MICHAEL AND FAMILY

*****************************************************************************************************************

TY HAS BEEN DOING PRETTY GOOD . HE HAS BEEN DOING BETTER IN SCHOOL BEHAVIOR WISE ANYWAY AND THANKFULLY THE PRINCIPLE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST MY PHONE NUMBER WHOO HOO!!
TY IS NOT A BAD KID AND HE DOESNT GET IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL FOR BEING BAD HE IS USUALLY IN TROUBLE FOR VOICING HIS OPINION ABOUT LIFE AND TEACHING SKILLS OR LACK OF. WE HAVE TOLD HIM OVER AND OVER THAT HE CAN NOT VOICE HIS OPINION AT SCHOOL BUT THATS LIKE TELLING A FISH NOT TO SWIM.. I KNOW THAT TY LIVED THROUGH THIS TERRIBLE MONSTER TO DO GREAT THINGS IN LIFE TO DRAW A PATH IN THE WORLD TO GREAT UNKNOWNS .. NOW IF WE CAN JUST GET HIM THROUGH MIDDLE SCHOOL WE WILL BE ALRIGHT LOL..
MY TWO YOUNG JUDO MASTERS ARE DOING GREAT WITH THERE PRACTICE AND HAVE SEVERAL BIG TOURNAMENTS COMMING UP IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. THEY ARE TRAINING HARD 4 NIGHTS A WEEK 3 HOURS A NIGHT AND ALTHOUGH I CANT WATCH WITHOUT HAVING HORRIBLE ANXIETY ATTACKS IM VERY PROUD OF THEM BOTH. . ALEX AND TY WILL BE AT THE SUNSHINE STATE GAMES IN JUNE AND THEN THE US OPEN AND THE US JR OLYMPICS IN JULY.. IM SCARED FOR THEM BUT I KNOW THAT THIS IS SOMETHING THEY LOVE TO DO AND .. WELL BONES HEAL AND BRUISES GO AWAY AND EGOS REALLY GROW AT EVERY MATCH !! LOL
WE HAVE SOME WONDERFUL NEWS AS WELL .. OUR ASHLEY AKA BABY DUCK HAS COME HOME. SHE IS GOING TO SCHOOL TO BECOME AN INSURANCE AGENT AND WILL START WORK IN A FEW WEEKS AT OUR NORTH PALM BEACH STORE.. WHOO HOOO!! GO DUCKY!! I KNOW THE CHANGE WAS HARD FOR HER BUT IM SURE THAT IN THE LONG RUN HER LIFE WILL BE FULL OF HAPPINESS AND LOVE. AS SHE DISCOVERS WHAT LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR HER. IN THE FUTURE WE WILL RE-OPEN ALOF AND ONCE AGAIN HAVE OUR A. LEAP. OF FAITH AUTO TAG AND INSURANCE AGENCY.. WHOO HOO.. A.L.O.F. NOT ANYTIME SOON BUT WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
TIM AND I ARE DOING WELL WERE JUST WORKING AND TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THE KIDS AND THERE SOCIAL LIFE.. ALEX IS 16 NOW AND GROWING LIKE A WEED.. MIKE 14 AND ALSO GROWING PRETTY GOOD. I HOPE HE GETS A GOOD GROWTH SPURT OVER THE SUMMER.. WE HOPE HE DEFIES YET ANOTHER ODD.
WE ARE GEARING UP FOR THE 2008 ACS RELAY FOR LIFE. THE BOYS ARE IN FUND RAISNG MODE FOR THIS AS WELL AS FOR THE CHILDRENS CANCER CARING CENTER! CAMP FIESTA HAS A SHORTAGE OF FUNDS TO SEND THE KIDS TO CAMP THIS YEAR. CAMP FIESTA IS A CAMP THAT TAKES 55 KIDS TO CAMP FOR 9 AWESOME DAYS. THEY GO TO DISNEY , BUSH GARDENS AND EVERY FUN THEME PARK YOU COULD IMAGINE. THEY HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 22 YEARS NOW. THE KIDS THAT GO ARE SURVIVORS THE CAMP COUSNLERS ARE ALL SURVIVORS. ITS AN AMAZING VACATION FOR THESE KIDS..ANYTHING TO DISTRACT THEM FROM CANCER, HOSPITALS, NEEDLES CHEMO AND SICKNESS. WE ARE TRYING TO COME UP WITH IDEAS TO RAISE FUNDS ANY IDEAS WOULD BE HELPFUL!
********************************************************************************************************************
PRAYER REQUEST! (S)
PLEASE PRAY FOR TY'S FRIEND. HE IS A NEUROBLASTOMA SURVIVOR/ WARRIOR. HE HAS BEEN BATTLING CANCER FOR EIGHT YEARS NOW AND HAS TRIED EVERY DRUG YOU CAN IMAGINE TO CURE HIM. THEY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP IT AT BAY BUT THE BEAST HAS TURNED AGAIN AND STARTED TO GROW AGAIN . HIS PARENTS ARE CRUSHED AND WILL BE GOING OUT OF STATE AGAIN TO TRY A TREATMENT CALLED MIGB. THIS IS A RADIOACTIVE TREATMENT. HE WILL BE ISOLATED FOR A WEEK. THEY CAN NOT TOUCH HIM DURING THIS TIME AND EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES MUST BE DISPOSED OF DUE TO THE HIGH LEVES OF RADIATION HIS BODY WILL BE EMITTING. THIS SUCKS ... CANCER SUCKS... AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!! PLEASE PRAY THAT THIS WORKS. OUR FRIEND IS 14 YEARS OLD AND WAS DIAGNOSED JUST 3 MONTHS AFTER TY. HOWEVER HE HAS NEVER BEEN OFF TREATEMNT LONGER THAN A FEW MONTHS.
I WISH I COULD UNDERSTAND , I WISH THERE WAS SOME MAGIC UNDERSTANDING THAT WE HAVE. BUT THERE ISNT. NOTHING ABOUT CANCER IS RIGHT. NOTHING ABOUT IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE AND NOTHING ABOUT IT IS ACCEPTABLE. IT STRAIGHT UP SUCKS!!
ALSO SEVERAL SILENT PRAYER REQUESTS PLEASE FOR OTHER FRIENDS AND FAMILIES WHO ARE FIGHTING THIS MONSTER ON A DAILY BASIS.
ALSO WE ARE NOW FIVE MONTHS WITHOUT MY DAD.. IM FINALLY ABLE TO GO TO WORK ON MONDAYS MOST OF THEM ANYWAY AND FINALLY ABLE TO SEE THE NUMBER 19 WITHOUT CRYING. I MISS MY DAD SOO MUCH AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD AT CANCER ITS THE MOST HORRIBLE THIEF EVER. IM SAD THAT MY DAD WILL NOT BE HERE WITH US FOR SO MANY THINGS. BUT I AM ALSO GRATEFUL THAT MY BABY BROTHER IS NO LONGER IN HEAVEN WITHOUT HIS FISHING BUDDY! I NOW HAVE TWO GUARDIAN ANGELS TO WATCH.. (IM SURE MORE THAN TWO) OUT FOR US.
************************************************************************************************************************
LIFE AND THE CRAZY THINGS WE GO THROUGH.....
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY?
WHY DID THIS OR THAT HAPPEN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHY DO PEOPLE GO CRAZY AND DO HORRIBLE THINGS? WHY DOES GOD TAKE THE GOOD ONES AND LEAVE THE HORRIBLE PEOPLE TO LIVE LONG HORRIBLE LIVES?? IM A QUESTIONIER ( IS THAT A WORD?)
MANY TERRIBLE THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING AROUND ME.. AND I MEAN ALL AROUND ME...
TODAY... GOD WATCHED OVER ME AND ASHLEY AND MY ANGELS KEPT US SAFE... WE WERE ONE CAR AWAY FROM A HORRIFIC CAR CRASH. I DONT KNOW HOW I STOPED MY CAR IN TIME , OR HOW I STAYED SO CALM TO HELP THE PEOPLE WHO WERE INJURED IN THIS ROLL OVER CRASH. BUT I DID.. ASHLEY WAS SHOCKED THAT I DIDNT FREAK OUT AND WRECK MY CAR TRYING TO KEEP FROM BEING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CRASH ..
LAST WEEKEND WE WENT TO ORLANDO TO VISIT FRIENDS WHO WERE HERE FROM CT. THAT I HAD NOT SEEN IN MANY YEARS ..WE HAD A GREAT TIME.. WE LEFT AND DROVE HOME AND WHEN WE GOT HOME I READ THE PALM BEACH POST ONLINE. AND FIND OUT THAT THERE WAS A SHOOTING IN THE PARKING LOT WE HAD JUST WALKED THROUGH, I WAS LIKE OMG!
TWO WEEKS AGO I WALKED OUT OF MY OFFICE AT 1:30 AT 1:35 THREE MEN ROBBED THE JEWLERY STORE RIGHT NEXT TO MY OFFICE . MY BOSS SAT THERE SELLING A POLICY WHEN HE WAS SURROUNDED BY POLICE. THEY BEAT THIS POOR MAN TIED HIM UP AND STOLE ALL OF HIS INVENTORY OF 24 QT GOLD. THANK GOD FOR SILENT ALARMS.
ONE WEEK BEFORE THAT THERE WAS A SHOOTING ABOUT 100 FEET FROM MY OFFICE. SOME CRAZY GUY CAME IN TO WENDYS AND SHOT A FIREMAN WHO WAS THERE WITH HIS FAMILY .. KILLED HIM AND SHOT FIVE OTHER PEOPLE. WE WENT ON LOCK DOWN FOR A FEW HOURS AND THANKFULLY WE WERE ALL ALRIGHT AT WORK.. SHAKEN UP FOR CERTAIN.
I CONTINUE TO WORRY ABOUT WHOS WALKING IN THE DOOR AT WORK .. I KNOW THAT IN THIS DAY AND AGE WE ARE NOT SAFE ANYWHERE..
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU TO GOD AND MY ANGELS FOR PROTECTING US AND KEEPING THE BAD... ALL AROUND US!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 10:53 AM CST

PARTIAL UPDATE MORE TO FOLLOW...


IT HAS BEEN WAY TO LONG SINCE MY LAST UPDATE.
ALL IS WELL IN OUR WORLD WE ARE ALL RECOVERING FROM
THE LOSS OF MY DAD. ITS NOT EASY BUT EACH DAY WERE HEALING
OR AT LEAST TRYING TO. WE EACH HAVE OUR MOMENTS WHERE THE
GRIEF IS OVERWHELMING!

TY HAS BEEN A HANDFULL LATELY. HE IS NOW ON THE MARTIN COUNTY
HIGH SCHOOL WRESTLING TEAM. HE IS ONLY IN 7TH GRADE . I CANT
BELIEVE THAT THEY LET HIM WRESTLE AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE. APPARENTLY
HIS JUDO TRAINING HAS HIM VERY ADVANCED. IT ALSO HAS HIS MOMMA A
NEUROTIC MESS. HA HA!!
TY CONTINUES TO DO HIS JUDO TWICE A WEEK AND COMPETE AS OFTEN AS
POSSIBLE AS WELL AS THE SCHOOL BAND.. TIMMY IS A HUMAN TAXI!

WE SPENT THE NEW YEAR ON THE WEST COAST WITH MY BROTHER AND HIS
FAMILY . IT WAS WONDERFUL AND DISTRACTING ! I HAVENT HAD SO MUCH
FUN IN YEARS!
IM REALLLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEW YEAR AND ALL THE BLESSINGS
THAT IM SURE WILL COME OUR WAY ..MY MOTTO IS 2008 IS GUNNA BE GREAT!!

TY ALSO HAD A ADVENTURE IN PAINT BALLING WHOO HOO.. HE DID GREAT FOR
HIS FIRST TIME. APPARENTLY CAPTURING THE FLAG IS MONUMENTAL FOR ANY
PLAYER NEVER MIND A FIRST TIME. HE SHOT NINE GUYS AND WAS ONLY SHOT
THREE TIMES. ( THANK GOD ITS ONLY PAINT) HE WAS GROUND CONTROL OR BASE CONTROL.
WHATEVER ITS CALLED LOL.. REGUARDLESS HE LOVED IT!! NOW HE CANT WAIT TO GO AGAIN.
ITS AN AWESOME AND VERY EXPENSIVE SPORT.

TY'S HEALTH HAS BEEN GREAT . WE HAD SCANS AND THEY WERE ALL CLEAR SO
NOW HE HAS A WHOLE ELEVEN MONTHS BEFORE HE HAS SCANS AGAIN ..WHOO HOO!

PLEASE PRAY LOTS OF HEALING PRAYERS FOR OUR FRIENDS WE HAVE SOME THAT ARE
REALLY IN THE HEAT OF THE BATTLE RIGHT NOW AND PRAYER ,FAITH AND
HOPE IS ALL THEY HAVE.

I RE READ MY JOURNAL THE OTHER NIGHT AND I AM IN AWE AT HOW FAR WE HAVE ALL
COME. I AM ETERINALLY GRATEFUL THAT TY HAS DONE SO WELL OVER THE LAST
EIGHT YEARS. TY HAS GROWN INTO A VERY HANDSOME TEENAGER...WHO WILL BE
14 ON THE 2ND OF FEBRUARY. HE DOES REALLY GOOD IN SCHOOL FOR THE MOST
PART AND HAS A HEART OF GOLD. WE LOVE OUR
TY THE TERROR!!!

ALEX IS DOING GREAT ALSO DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL AND JUDO. HE IS REALLY
EXCELLING WE ARE VERY PROUD OF HIM .

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RECAP OF DADS SERVICE!

WELL AS EXPECTED HIS CELEBRATION OF LIFE WAS NOTHING SHORT
OF EXECPTIONAL. WE ALL WENT OUT ON THE BOATS MY COUSIN
JESSEE CAME TO BE WITH US AND DADS SISTER JOYCE FROM CT.
MANY FRIENDS CAME FROM ALL OVER . ABOUT 70 PEOPLE ALL TOGETHER
WE HAD TWO BIG BOATS TO CARRY US ALL TO THE DEEP BLUE SEA.

Monday, December 10, 2007 10:25 AM CST

WELL I HAVE COME TO REALIZE I CAN NOT FUNCTION ON MONDAY'S!?!

TODAY IS THREE WEEKS SINCE MY DAD DIED I HATE TYPING THAT OR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT BUT HERE I AM.

I FEEL AS IF MY VERTIGO HAS RETURNED HOWEVER I DOUB'T THATS THE CASE. IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD VERTIGO YOU WILL KNOW THAT ITS SO STRANGE.I FEEL DIZZY AND I CANT COMPLETE A SENTENCE MY HEAD SPINS LIKE CRAZY AND I HAVE NO BALANCE.. BASICALLY IT SUCKS! AND WORSE IM HOME FROM WORK ALONE TODAY!

DID I MENTION MY DADS BEEN GONE THREE WEEKS NOW?

I DID NOT EXPECT TO FEEL SO LOST WHEN HE PASSED.. I SPENT ALOT OF TIME WITH HIM IN THE LAST FEW YEARS.. MORE THAN IN MY WHOLE LIFE ,WE TALKED ALOT. WHEN HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL I WOULD GO SEE HIM AFTER WORK AND JUST LET HIM TALK AND TELL ME STORIES OF WHEN HE WAS YOUNG AND STRONG AN IRON WORKER ,BRIDGE CLIMBER ,BEAM WALKEN IN AN ICE STORM 300 FEET IN THE AIR LOL .. AND OF MANY BIG FISH!
I SAID MY GOODBYES I LET HIM KNOW I LOVED HIM .. HE KISSED MY HAND HE SAID I LOVE YOU TOO AND THOSE WERE PRETTY MUCH HIS LAST WORDS TO ME. PERFECT RIGHT.. YOU WOULD THINK.
BUT IM SELFISH AS HELL AND I WANT MY DAD HERE.

NOW I AM BEYOND TERRIFIED OF LOOSING MY MOTHER NOW. I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD SURVIVE. SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY STRENGTH.

I WANT TO SHARE DADS LAST FEW DAYS ONLY BECAUSE HE WENT SO SWEET AND PEACEFUL AND IS FINALLY PERFECT AND AT PEACE AND I KNOW HE IS FISHING WITH MY BROTHER AND GETTING HIS CHEEKS PINCHED BY HIS MOMMA!!!

FRIDAY DAD WAS TRYING VERY HARD TO WORK ON ONE LAST BOAT ITS A BEAUTY! HE WORKED MOST OF THE DAY EVEN THOUGH HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN BED, HE WAS VERY WEAK AND EXTREAMLY SKINNY HE HAD NOT EATEN IN DAYS AND IF HE DID IT WAS A BITE OR A FEW BITES OF ICE CREAM.
SATURDAY TIM WENT TO FINISH HIS HOUSE FOR HIM. HE PUT NEW STUCCO.
IT CAME OUT VERY NICE. HE GAVE ME A FEW UPDATES ALONG THE DAY AS TO HOW DAD WAS DOING . HE SAID HE WAS SPACEY BUT HES ON ALOT OF MEDS SO THAT WOULD DO IT. HE SAID THE MOOD AROUND THE HOUSE WAS SOMBER BUT IN HIS OPINION DAD LOOKED GOOD COMPARED TO OTHER RECENT DAYS.
SUNDAY WAS LISA'S BIRTHDAY AND I HAD ALREADY PLANNED ON GOING UP THERE IN THE AFTERNOON CAUSE HE LIKED TO GO FOR A MORNING DRIVE EVERYDAY ALONG THE COAST AND THEN A SNACK AND A NAP . SO I FIGURED AFTERNOON WOULD BE GREAT.
LISA CALLED ABOUT 8 AM AND SAID I SHOULD COME NOW THAT HE WAS SLIPPING AWAY AND WAS JUST NOT THERE.SO I WENT STRAIGHT UP I ASSESED HIM AND THEN CALLED JACKI AND TIM TOLD THEM TO BRING THE KIDS UP . JACKI WAS ALREADY ON HER WAY. IT WAS A ROUGH DAY LISA HAD AN ERRAND TO RUN AND I WAS ALONE WITH DAD. I WAS SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT TIME BUT SO AFRAID SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN WHILE I WAS THERE ALONE. WE TALKED A LITTLE I ASKED HIM MANY TIMES IF HE WAS OK WITH JESUS AND HEAVEN AND IF HE WAS READY TO GO THERE. TO BE WITH NICKY AGAIN (HE SMILED) I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM ABOUT A MILLION TIMES IN THAT HOUR SAT BY HIS CHAIR AND HELD HIS HAND. HE DIDN'T WANT ME CRYING BUT THE TEARS FELL NON STOP.
FINALLY LISA GOT B ACK AND JACKI AND THE GIRLS THEN TIM AND THE BOYS CAME. I FELT MUCH BETTER AND WAS ABLE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT NEXT. AS THE DAY WENT ON HE SEEMED FARTHER AND FARTHER AWAY HIS BODY WAS LIKE ICE AND HIS LEGGS WERE SO SWOLLEN. WE KNEW WE COULD NOT TAKE CARE OF HIM ALONE ANY LONGER SO I WENT AND TALKED TO HIM . I ASKED HIM TO PLEASE LET ME CALL HOSPICE AND THEY COULD HELP US HELP HIM. HE FINALLY AGREED . WHEN HE DID WE HAD THE KIDS SAY GOOD BYE AND GIVE HUGS AND KISSSES . AFTER THEY WERE GONE WE WENT TO THE TREASURE COAST HOSPICE CENTER WICH WAS AMAZING. THE STAFF WERE WONDERFUL ,THE PLACE WAS SO CALMING AND PEACEFUL.
I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE BUT I HAD A PARENT MEETING IN THE MORNING THAT I COULD NOT MISS.. SO MONDAY MORNING I WENT TO THE MEETING AND THEN WENT TO GO SEE MY DAD.
I WAS SO GLAD THAT MY MOM AND AUNTIE DONNA WERE ALREADY THERE WITH HIM.
I WENT FLYING DOWN THE HIGHWAY AND THEN I CALLED MOM SHE SAID I NEEDED TO COME NOW.. I TOLD HER I WAS ON MY WAY THAT I WOULD BE THERE IN FIVE MINUETS. SHE SAID HURRY...... WELL WHEN MY MOM TOLD DAD I SAID HE HAD TO WAIT THAT I WAS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER HE SHOOK HIS HEAD NO AND TOOK TWO SHORT BREATHS AND LEFT THIS WORLD WITH A PEACEFUL SMILE ON HIS FACE. I SMILE SO SWEET ... AT THE SAME TIME.. THE TRAFFIC ON THE HIGHWAY CAME TO A COMPLETE STOP WE WENT FROM 85-ZERO JUST THAT FAST .. I WAS STOPPED AT THE SIGN THAT READ MIDWAY RD 1 MILE..DAD WAS ON MIDWAY RD.
I WAS SO MAD I WAS SCREAMING AT GOD AT CARS CRYING WANTING TO MOVE WANTING TO DRIVE UP THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY TO GET TO MY EXIT TO GET TO MY DAD BUT I COULDN'T ..UGH..
MOM CALLED A FEW MINUETS LATER SHE SAID HE WAS GONE THAT HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO SEE HIM GO. AND IN HIS TRUE MALONE FASHION HE DID WHAT HE WANTED HIS WAY!!! " I DID IT MY WAY" ( I WONDER IF FRANKIE CAN SING THAT FOR HIM IN HEAVEN ALSO?)
JUST AS WE HUNG UP THE TRAFFIC STARTED TO MOVE AND I WAS AT THE HOSPICE HOUSE IN FIVE MINUETS ... I WAS SO SCARED THAT I WAS GOING TO BE SCARED OR GROSSED OUT OR SOMETHING I HAD NEVER SEEN A DEAD BODY..WELL NOT 5 MINS AFTER .. FUNERALS ARE DIFFERENT. SO AS I WALK IN IM SCARED AS HELL OF HOW MY MOTHER IS HOLDING UP.. I WAS SO SCARED FOR HER . I REMEMBER WHAT SHE WAS LIKE WHEN NICK DIED AND I COULDNT BARE TO SEE THAT PAIN AGAIN. MY HEAD WAS SWIRLING . I OPENED THE DOOR TO HIS ROOM TO SEE THREE WOMEN WITH TEARS ON THERE CHEEKS AND SMILES ON THERE FACE. THEY TOLD ME HOW PEACEFUL AND BEAUTIFUL IT WAS , AND TO LOOK AT HIM HE HAD A SMILE ON HIS FACE.. WELL THAT OLD MAN HAD MORE THAN A SMILE HE WAS GRINNING . I GAVE HIM SOME HELL ABOUT NOT WAITING AND HE SMILED EVEN MORE.. I ASKED THE NURSE ARE YOU SURE HES GONE AND THEY JUST SHOOK THERE HEADS YES I COULD TELL HE WAS GONE BUT I COULD ALSO SEE HIS SMILE WAS AMAZING AND I DIDNT QUITE UNDERSTAND .

GOD IS GREAT HUH? !!!!

SO NOW I SAT AT HIS BED SIDE AND HE WAS SOOOO WARM I BET I ASKED THAT NURSE FIVE TIMES IF HE WAS REALLY GONE CAUSE HE WAS WAY WARMER NOW AND I DIDNT GET IT! UT APPARETLEY HE HAD A FEVER FOR MOST OF THE NIGHT.
I HAVE TO SAY I WAS CALMER AS I SAT AT MY DADS BEDSIDE FOR ABOUT TWO HOURS THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE. I FELT SO PEACEFUL SO LOVED SO SURROUNDED BY GODS LOVE AND MY MOMS TOO (XOXOX). XANEX WAS NOT EVEN NEEDED LOL. I WAS ALRIGHT TILL IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE. I DID NOT WANT TO LEAVE HIM THERE ALONE. I KNEW THEY WOULD COME FOR HIM SOON AND THE NURSES NEEDED TO PREPARE HIS BODY. MOM TUCKED A STUFFED BEAR UNDER HIS ARM AND REQUESTED THAT THE BEAR STAY WITH HIM .
WE LEFT I SAID GOODBYE ONE LAST TIME KISSED HIS FORHEAD AND WAS MAD THAT I DIDNT HAVE ANY BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK TO PUT A KISS ON HIS FORHEAD...SOMETHIG I HAVE DONE SINCE I WAS VERY YOUNG TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE POPEYE LOL

WE ALL WENT TO THE HOUSE. IT WAS BITTER SWEET . HOW CAN YOU BE SO HAPPY FOR SOMEONE AND SO SAD AT THE SAME TIME?

I WENT INSIDE AND LAID IN DADS BED AWHILE... BUT HE WASNT THERE ANYMORE. I WALKED AROUND THE HOUSE STILL HE WAS NO LONGER THERE JUST HIS STUFF AND HIS FRIENDS WERE STARTING TO GATHER WITH US.
I WAS WALKING AROUND WHEN I NOTICED THE FLAG ON THE "CHEEPER HERE" WAS STILL RAISED SO I ASKED DADS BEST FRIEND TERRY TO HELP ME LOWER IT TO HALF MASS. I WAS AFRAID OF HOW THEY WOULD REACT TO ME WANTING THAT BUT EVERYONE FELT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.. TERRY IS SO HEARTBROKEN TO LOOSE MY DADS FRIENDSHIP. SO MANY OTHERS ALSO BUT TERRY HAS BEEN AT DADS SIDE FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW AND HE LOVED THE GRUMPY OLD GUY!

THANKSGIVING WAS TO GO ON AS PLANNED UGH!!!!!!! AS DAD REQUESTED. IT WAS HARD TO BE THERE WITH OUT HIM. BUT IT WAS NICE OVERALL. ALOT OF DADS FRIENDS WERE THERE AND THE WHOLE FAMILY TOO IT WAS WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED...
THIS WAS THE THIRD DAY SO TERRY AND I WENT AND RE RAISED THE FLAG AS THE CAPTIAN WOULD EXPECT US TO DO.

WELL I WISH I COULD SAY THE DAYS AND WEEKS SINCE HAVE BEEN AS PEACEFUL .. IM SO SAD EVRYONE IS SOO SAD BREWSTER IS MOURNING AS IF HE WAS A HUMAN.
I WAKE UP DAILY IN TEARS OR IM AWAKE ALL NIGHT JUST CRYING IM SO SHOCKED BY THE AMMOUNT OF EMOTIONS I AM GOING THROUGH, I DONT THINK I WENT THROUGH THIS PART WHEN NICKY DIED ONLY BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO FREAKED OUT THAT SOMEONE HAD TO BE NORMAL..WHATEVER NORMAL MAY BE..
I HOPE THAT AFTER HIS SAILOR SEND OFF ON SATURDAY THAT I WILL FEEL BETTER. FOR TODAY I JUST FEEL LOST AND OFF BALANCE IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE.

DADS SERVICE... HIS CELEBRATION OF LIFE.. WILL BE NOTHING SHORT OF AWESOME! MY BABY COUSIN JESSE AND MY GOD MOTHER DADS SISTER. WILL BE FLYING IN ON FRIDAY JESSE WILL GIVE DAD THE PROPER SENDOFF WITH A SHORT MINESTRY AND THEN A PRAYER AND HOPEFULLY A SONG. WE WILL THEN PUT HIS ASHES OUT IN THE DEEP BLUE WATERS OFF THE COAST OF FT PIERCE. AFTERWARDS A PARTY IN HIS HONOR!! FOOD DRINKS AND LOTS OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY. ANOTHER BITTER SWEET DAY BUT HOPEFULLY IT WILL BRING SOME CLOSURE TO OUR BROKEN HEARTS.

JAMES R MALONE 8-28-1936-11-19-2007 GONE FISHING..GONE BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 10:39 AM CST

IT IS WITH HEAVY HEART THAT I INFORM YOU OF THE PASSING OF MY FATHER
PLEASE KEEP TY AND ALL THE FMAILY IN YOUR PRAYERS AT THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME

P.S CANCER SUCKS!

James R. Malone
James R. Malone, 71, died Nov. 19, 2007, at the Treasure Coast Hospice in Fort Pierce. He was born in Berlin, Conn., and lived in Fort Pierce for 10 years, coming from East Hampton, Conn. He was a Marine Corps veteran who served during the Korean War. Before retirement, he was employed with Berlin Steel. He chartered his boat, Auda II, for deep-sea fishing excursions. After moving to Fort Pierce, he opened a boat restoration business. He was a member of the Iron Workers Union. Survivors include his companion, Lisa Carra of Fort Pierce; daughters, Jacklyn Malone of Greenacres and Audra Malone of Stuart; stepsons, Daniel Rizza of Missouri and James Rizza Jr. of Florida; mother of his children, Rita Malone of Lantana; sisters, Lucille Gondulfo of Newington, Conn., and Joyce Walk of Berlin; and seven grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his son, Nicholas Malone. Memorial contributions may be made to the Hospice of the Treasure Coast, 2500 Virginia Ave., Suite 202, Fort Pierce, FL 34950. SERVICES: A celebration of his life will be at a later date, after which his cremains will be scattered at sea. Arrangements are by Yates Funeral Home and Crematory in Fort Pierce.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 11:10 PM CST

November 11,2007

Wow .. today is an important day around here. Today marks 8 years since Ty was DX with Rhabdomyosarcoma. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday other times i feel we have been here forever!
Yesterday i was givin the best news. Ty remains Cancer FREE!!! His latest scans do show some sort of a blood clot in his iliac artery in his pelvis (tumor location) , we will have to follow up on that .. but there is no CANCER and thats what is most important. When we first heard those words and his prognosis we didnt expect him to be with us for 6 months..we have been given 8 years of life laughter and love. I think about the way this could have turned out and i thank god for our miracle child. (even if he is a terror!!! ) lol ( in the most loving way).

Today we will go to the VNA airshow. Its a great way to spend Ty's day.

**************************************************

so much has happened since my last update .. the kids had a great summer.Ty enjoyed camp and all his friends. Both boys spent two weeks with my brother and his awesome girl and they had the best time of there lives.
School has been really good with both boys (for the most part) ! Grades are not perfect but very good.They are very involved in school and after school programs.Mike is preparing for some parades for Thanksgiving and of course christmas .. then off to atlanta to compete with the band! Last year there band placed second... and then of course judo and lets not forget GIRLS!!!!!

Both boys competed in a Martial Arts Festival at Disney ..and both came home with a shiney silver medal!!!! Our dojo came home with two gold and two silver ...we only sent four boys!! I was so scared and so proud all at the same time. Our friends came from Tampa to cheer them on. I think when Ty saw his buddy Tom watching he fought a bit harder. It was a great weekend and a much needed escape from daily life work school etc. We also took my niece with us so it was great to have her along. We went to the halloween horror nights..what a blast!
Also for anyone doing Downtown Disney i highly recomend Rainforest Cafe. The atmosphere was amazing ! ( being with good friends helped also!!)

I am finally well again. I had my surgery August 13th.. on poor Timmys 51st birthday.. I guess you could say it went well.. i had a large tumor in my lower intestine wich explained why i could not eat for soo long , and several other cyst and tumors in my abdomen. My very CUTE doctor removed about six inches of intestine an ovary that should not have ever been there and everything he could locate. Alll pathology was CANCER FREE!! gosh how i love those two words. I as usual had every negitive side effect or complication but its all better now!! I feel wonderful..better than i have in years! I was doing HRT but have switched to CHAGA! (more to follow on the chaga)

Mom also had surgey one week after me she had her alien removed ALIEN = huge hernia . Her surgery went well much better than the last time.. thank god! she says she will never lift another thing lol! She also feels wonderful and better than she has in years. I am so grateful for my mom always being here for me.

Dad .. well i cant tell you how heartbroken i am to even post this. He has liver cancer and its stealing him away from us rapidly. He is very advanced , in alot of pain , he also has had his belly drained twice in a little over a month .. 5 liters each time. Its only been two weeks and his belly is all swollen again. I don't know how long he can continue to fight. I know he doesnt want to loose this battle and is trying everything ..even holistic medicine (chaga) wich is totally unlike MY daddy. He remains stubborn as a mule and hopefully that will help pull him through. Please pray pray pray.. if he can not be healed here on earth that he be healed in heaven as quick and painfree as possible. He is on so many pain medicine that im surprised he could even function. so between the nausea and the pain he is miserable and nothing left but skin and bone. I really hate seeing him this way and i know he hates it way more than me, he was always such a big strong man..a man i thought was soo scarey but in reality he was always just my daddy.A fisherman a ironman a boat builder and life saver!
I was there today and i was looking at some very old photo albums... I think that Dad will be so happy when he enters those pearly gates and gets to be with his son again after 14 years and his awesome mom after almost 21 years. We will have another guardian angel to watch over us!!
He will be in heaven as Alex said "catching the big fish again"We all are beyond heartbroken but i am so glad that i have had the chance to learn about my dad. so many things i never knew ..so many stories he shares. I think he is trying to get all the memories out on the table so we can carry them now. I have learned more about my dad in the last year than i have my entire life. I am so sad for everyone that he will leave behind my boys wont grow up knowing there grandfather. Our family name will end with him. I dont know how to face the loss of a parent. im scared but i know My family will go on but there will be a huge link missing.
Also please pray for my step mom she has been a rock by his side through think and thin for many years. I hope she knows that we love her and will always be here for her. She has been with my dad since she was 17 . He is all she knows in life. I know how lost she will be without him. We all will!

well thats enough for tonight.

thank you to everyone who is here to support us and love us !

Sending love and prayers to all the families out there fighting for each new day.

Monday, July 2, 2007 10:46 PM CDT

I am so sorry i always wait so long between updates.

Summertime is here and life is crazy as usual. there are a few new things
were doing this summer and that is letting the boys stay home alone. We are
also letting them stay up super late watcing movies and video games because
they will both sleep till 1:00 pm if there left alone in the morning . So that means
they are really only up and around reaking havic on south stuart for an hour or two.
I am still not comfortable leaving them home but they are 15 and 13 and must learn
how to be responsible.

Mike seems to be doing better. His belly problem is always there but it seems to
be doing much better as of late. The bedtime issue is almost gone. he has been dry 8 out of 10 nights
and this is due to two new medications he is on. i am of course a bit worried about how these
drugs work i will always baby that right kidney .. the medicine slows down the kidney production
and calms bladder spasms. together he wakes up nice and dry and very happy. we are now
all looking forward to camp fiesta.

however..

Both boys will be going out of town on Friday!! for two weeks whoo hooo hoo
they are going to my brother james and his beautful crazy girlfriend cynthia. they
are both so craZy you gotta love it! Ty acts just like his uncle Gerbil lol i dont know
how cyndi will survive two whole weeks with three boys in the ho use!! Ty lovingly refers
to her as the "clean natzi" " the white glove queen" and he has been warned .. i told her
here he is called tornado or distructo but she said bring it on.. so here they come lady !! lmao!

The boys will be home July 22nc .. and then Ty leaves for camp on the following saturday so thats
about 5 days to un pack and re pack and try to adjust to the monsters again.. Alex will be home alone with
us boring old people for that week... so then the guys are all home and we will have some much antisipated
house guests. The George family ( including 14 yr old twin girls) will be here for the 11 th of August .. we will
celebrate Tims 51st birthday and the twins birthday. It should be alot of fun.. now i only wish we had a pool!

then school starts again on the 14th whoo hoo .. high school here come alex mr studly mr.g.q
gotta have all the grils and all the drama that goes along with that.!! lol
mike will be in 7th grade this year and really looking forward to band. he will be in advanced band this
year so he will do alot more travel ( mom needs a second job)

Medical :

Ty is well the growth on his neck is back and we will see dr bufo soon. we dont want to rush
the apointment but we like to know whats growing in there. Dr Bufo only wants to do removal if
thats our only choice. i respect that about him. Ty will also be having his annual scans in about a month
he is due in August for the full work up . we are not worried as all the issues we were having seem to have
passed .. until i just typed it!!! ugghh

dad is not doing well still he is still very sick his poor belly is just so painful. he takes lots of meds
and they do way to many tests and keep saying i dunoo whats wrong.. i am so over than answer
i need to know whats going on . he is so skinny and frail looking. im scared for my dad. Then another
loss to this beast cancer my step-mothers dad passed away last week, he was an older gentleman who had
served in WWII he recieved the purple heart and the bronze star what an amazing man.
Cancer had to tear the family appart some more.. you would think it would just go away no one likes it anyway!

my mom is sick too ..she went to the doctor and they said she has phynomia she had no symptoms at all but
now that she is on medication she is cougjing like crazy.. she has a huge hernia in her belly that will be fixed up
soon.. not soon enough for me.. but she will feel so much beter once that is done. finally she has some insurance
so she can get herself all fixed up so i can keep her around at least another 20 years.

me amd my medical .. im not very happy at the moment .seems i am suffering from vertigo.i am being treated
and i dont see any improvement. i have been out of work a week now and im just so dizzy i cant walk accross
the house . im throwing up constatnly im not sure if thats cause im spinning or something totally different. whatever
it is it needs to go away and fast. the doctor said the only thing that helps it is rest and more rest.. well im sick
of my bed .. ive been there since tuesday afternoon.. other then when i was in the hospital for dehydration and
scans. they say its my ear nothing unusual in the brain and the stomach pain .. well we need more s tudies . but im sure
it has to do with blockage or kink in the intestine.

were all falling appart !!

so lots of prayers needed over hea for heaaling medically and sprirtually

Thursday, May 10, 2007 12:47 AM CDT

Hello friends
I usually update late at night when the house is all quiet and I can just let my heart do the typing. Today I am alone in the office and so much is going on in my head that I figured I would attempt an update.

Medically speaking life is crazy!

Alex started the process of getting braces. I feel so bad for him as he went through three hours of torture yesterday while they put the bands on his back teeth (step one) his teeth at the back are so tight that it was a most difficult job for the dental tech, finally they were in (three hours later) and he was able to move forward with his day, sore as can be. On Friday we will go to Nova University for consultation with the oral surgeon. Alex must have 5 teeth removed before they can place the actual brackets. He has to go to Nova due to his crazy reaction to the last surgery and anestia. Needless to say I am so nervous. I am overjoyed that he will finally have his braces but the getting there part is pretty hard.

Alex is also doing better with his stomach issues. The meds seem to be working the polyp was removed and was non cancerous and the doctor feels that he may never get another. It was a juvenile polyp it was big it was gross and now its gone! Thank god and thank you Dr.Stevens.

Graduation is right around the corner and I can not even fathom that Alex will be in high school this fall. It does not seem possible that he has grown up so much. His grades are not the best but they are also not the worst. He tries and as long as he tries his very best were ok!

Ty is about to graduate in 7th grade with honors his grades are so awesome we are so proud of him and all he does with learning. He has big plans in life to be a surgeon so he needs the grades and needs to love to learn, as he does now.

** Ty-Michael medical hmm well in the big picture I don’t know lol... not funny at all but I cant recall being at a loss for words when it comes to Ty and how outgoing he is.
Seems our young man is starting to be a fighter or trouble maker so we have had to meet with the principle too many times this year. Mostly its just ty horse playing with friends and becomes disrupting to the class or whom ever, a few of the issues were fights but they were all “self defense” but due to the zero tolerance rules at school he gets suspended just for the disruption.
So we have found a great doctor for him to talk to. We think that maybe if he had a friend he can talk to that we could get to the bottom of what’s happening with him.
Tuesday the school called ty is in trouble again, so he got in school suspension not ten minuets later his therapist calls me and lets me know that ty has confided in her that “he feels his cancer is back but he doesn’t want to tell me” that is all she CAN tell me because Ty is her patient and he has privacy rites. Uugghh I ask her does he say why he feels that way is something hurting yada yada and she just says that she can only tell me that he feels its back and all she can ever say about there meetings is if he is being abused on drugs or alcohol or his life is in danger. Ok so to me I think this would constitute his life being in danger she agreed and stated that she can only tell me that and I should schedule some appointments to have him tested or checked out. I’m thinking alright he sees the gastro doctor in the morning and we can do some checking then. So we go to the doctor and when I was alone with the doctor I mentioned to him what the therapist had said and asked him to push around a little more than normal and see if he feels anything. So ty then comes in the doctor asks lots of questions

DR – how are you??
Ty - I feel great
Dr- How’s the belly pain?
Ty - oh its fine I have NONE
Dr – do you have ANY CONCERNS?
Ty – nope none at all everything is GREAT
Dr- any diareahea
Ty – nope its all great I go normal now (never been NORMAL)
Dr – ok Ty keep up the good work

Ok so a nice exam later the doc says I don’t feel anything and he says he feels great so no worries, I leave the doctors office for the first time with out a follow up appointment and the dr felt that should he have any problems with his belly not to hesitate to call... im ok with that..
• My day progressed and I went from feeling great to im worried as hell again. Seems ty hasn’t been quite honest with me or his dr and dad has been rather forgetful or not as concerned as I would like maybe concerned isn’t the rite word but he thinks I worry to much over small stuff so he doesn’t tell me about every injury or slight (?) sickness he is still a kid.
• Ty has been throwing up a lot. He threw up Tuesday before and after judo several times yesterday and then most of the night. Its not a sick flu type of throwing up cause as soon as its out he is back to his normal self playing and being ty. so medically I am worried
• Now here is the thing…. Ty has been in a lot of trouble lately at school. Ty has not been the center of everyone’s attention lately. We do have several children all who require our attention. However he is not neglected in any way.
• Ty said to dad a few months ago how he wished he was still at the hospital but he didn’t want to be sick from cancer and chemo. Everyone gave him presents he met a million celebrities from actors to sports to news people. He was beyond the main attraction in our life as we fought for his life daily. He doesn’t want to be sick but he does want the attention also... and this I think may be a bigger point when he is sick he doesn’t get into much trouble as far as his punishments etc. im thinking this may have been his way of getting attention negative or not. Ya know kinda a diversion so like I said I haven’t a clue now!

Could he be sick again or could this just be an easy way to get everyone’s attention?
I will pray he is just a spoiled 13 yr old boy who wants everything his way and after going through cancer I can relate to him feeling that way!! Is there an easy answer no I doubr it!

More yucky medical...
My dad continues to worsen they still have no idea what’s going on he is still in ungodly amount of pain he is still throwing up when his pain gets too bad and the doctors have done every test at least three times each and really that is an understatement. His gallbladder is gone now and well that wasn’t the problem... so he goes next week for yet another barium scope and will also swallow this camera that will take pictures of him for several days until he passes the microscopic camera... I don’t want to know how this works but supposedly it’s a great new device being used by the gastro docs.
We do know his liver is really really bad but the doctor said this pain is not related to cirrhosis of the liver (sp)

My poor stepmother is taking excellent care of him god bless her lol but on top of my dad being sick like this her own father just found out he has advanced cancer and at 82 he will not be doing any treatment ( she also lost her brother to cancer less than a year ago)
Have I said lately CANCER SUCKS!

I am sorry this post is so long its been forever since I posted and really a lot has been going on.

I request lots of prayers across the bored here just peace comfort and answers …even if there wrong.
•

Sunday, March 4, 2007 2:25 PM CST

Im sorry it has been so long since my last update. I always mean to and always have so much to share but when I come to my caring bridge site I tend to just go and check in on our friends. I have fallen in love with so many of these beautiful children.

Ty turned 13 on 2-2-07 whoo hoo .. I now officially have all teenage children or young adults we could even say walking chick magnets!
He is doing pretty good. Ty is doing great in school and loves the band . He is doing better as far as not fighting as much wich is always great!

Ty has his six month check up coming up in a few weeks and surprise surprise the damn lump on his neck is growing a lot again! Uugghhh!! I really wish I knew what this lump is and why it keeps coming back. We know that tys body is only responding to the dr visit looming in the near future! One can only hope right! Crossing fingers eyes everything and holding breath till we know for sure! He has also had a lot of stomach pain again..like I said his body knows its time to see the doctor again.

I hate cancer and everything about cancer!!!!!!

Lots of prayers being requested for my dad. We still do not know whats going on with him. He is really sick and has been at lawn wood hospital for several weeks, the doctor removed his gallbladder hoping that would be the cause of his pain and he was great for three days then its back this time it “feels different and worse” more in the chest and around his heart. I am stressing out mainly because they don’t have any answers at all. He has had every test known to man they have done at least one ultrasound a day they have done nuclear medicine tests so much that he looks forward to that liquid chaulk so he can at least drink something as he has been NPO for weeks also.. He lost about 15 or soo pounds so far and looks so skinny to me. I wish they would at least give him T.P.N till he is able to drink and eat again . I feel so helpless unlike when mike was sick I can not go down to the nurses station and grab the chart sit down and read for an hour take notes and take those notes home with me for research so I knew everything that was happening with our son. Hippa laws prevent me from finding out whats going on and the dr well lets be nice and say he is a tyrant who doesn’t like family who ask lots of questions. Personally if it wasn’t for the severe pain in his abdomen I would think these docs are just testing him over and over because he has the insurance to cover it and to pay top dollar for his beautiful suite.how many times do you run the same test in one week and get the same results and have no answer as to what they are even looking for I dunno uugghhh!!

Another soldier of ours lost his battle . Ryan was a nice 20 yr old man who we met when he was only 14ish and going through treatment. His parents were so helpful when I was fighting with GOD about Ty being sick. Joe would come and ask me to church and come and pray for Ty. When I walked into church for his service I felt so much I couldn’t believe I was going to his childs funeral . Cancer sucks all the way around. I saw several friends that we have made along the way and one family I have always looked up to and admired for there strength and grace. I was invited to sit with them, as I sat there I cried I know this mother knew exactly what Deloris and joe were feeling it was only a few short years ago we all came together for the service of her beautiful son. I cried how can she be so strong and I admired her again. I held the hand of her sweet Christine as they sang wind beneath my wings . Cried some more thinking about how much this beautiful child knows about loosing a brother too soon. Then I missed my baby brother hes been gone so long now you would think it wouldn’t feel so raw. Almost 12 years and sometimes I think he is just on vacation for awhile off doing his thing fishing ..guy stuff. Alas he will never come back to me not here but we will be together one day when the time is right and our family will rejoice.

Ok now that’s about enough from me today. We have a lot going on in the next few months lots of fun stuff planed for the spring break holiday weekend and I will be sure to add some new pictures soon.

Love to everyone and please keep all our kids in prayer

Monday, January 8, 2007 10:13 PM CST

I sit here and listen to two teenage boys about to go to fist over a football game. I am reminded of why I have this web page. I use this page to keep track of Ty and the cancer that changed our family forever. And vent my own emotions, also to document the milestones along the way.

Ty is now 6 years off treatment he is doing really good. He is growing sorta he is doing great in school and he is busy with judo and band. He is still having issues . I guess he always will but we can live with them all . Ty was seen by the hearing specialist who let us know the only hearing loss Ty has is due to being of the male gender! His hearing was perfect so I can scratch that doctor off the list..whew
We also went to the endo. Dr . Ty is far from puberty and the doctor recommends hormone shots to push him along. I am havin g mixed reviews on that choice. I have read that these hormones can cause the Rhabdo to re-occur . This of course we want to avoid at all cost right! So what do I do?? What will the decision be? Where will we find a comfort zone with this new decision? He will not enter puberty without the aid of the hormones what is life like without going through those changes??

You see most of you know that parental guilt is the worst, and its also a horrible weapon your child who has suffered so uses against you whenever a temper tantrum hits. I don’t mean on a daily basis of course just enough times where it really stings. And makes you remember that yes it was you that decided this or that ..how many times did we say whatever it takes just keep him alive we can worry about that other stuff later? Is it true that only I worry about these things.. No children when all he wants is to grow up and be a great dad just like Tim.

I know in my heart that every decision we made in that year of treatment was for the best. We had no choice in much of the treatment we kinda just went along with our protocall . The first surgery they asked us if we wanted to leave the dead right kidney or remove it and take out another large piece of the tumor. The dr said that kidney was dead, non viable organ . I couldn’t think that day and all I could think of is I don’t have the opportunity to research how my child will live with only one kidney and cancer covering the other and all the plumbing /water works! So I said leave the kidney in 10 weeks he was to have another surgery if its not better they could take it then…well I am so happy to report that the kidney is so beautiful and perfect pretty as can be and works like a charm. A little over active if you ask me some of the other decisions did not turn out so great , he will always have an incontinance problem usually only at bedtime. He has gained much more control during the day . His poor little digestive system was eaten up by radiation and scar tissue so he suffers with abdominal pain and LOTS OF GAS all the time . He has to eat a strict diet of candy and steak lol .. Ok not really but he eats lots of both. Nothing spicy or fried , no pizza sauce or any acidy fruit no orange juice NO ROOT BEER ..come on what can this teenage boy eat?

I am grateful he can eat.

So at the time we made all these decisions we also were really fearing the long term side effects wouldn’t make a difference . His chances of growing up were so slim however He is a RHABDO SURVIVOR! I hope one day he wont blame us for letting the cure cause so much damage.

Ty lost a good friend Christmas day . His buddy “G” from camp fiesta . He was a great kid that everyone loved . He seemed to be a gentle giant of a man with that special heart of gold that these children seem to have. I don’t know what these children are so special but they are. Ty took it a little harder than normal I think that’s due to his age now and how much more aware he is now. He decided he did not want to attend the funeral and I always respect his wishes he said he just cant handle another funeral I feel so bad that this young child has to know so much about death he understands a lot more than I do im sure. There he must face his fears face to face. Will my cancer come back mom?? Will I live longer than 18? Can I have my childhood back?

At his age 13 I had attended one funeral, for my uncle john who was like 900 years old he was my grandfathers brother. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to list the friends lost along the way. That he has lost or shall I say that have gone on ahead of us all to make a place for all of us.

Really I have no acceptance of this at all.. Yes mother breath

You would think seven years later I wouldn’t think about it so much I wouldn’t feel so much fear and anxiety and dread and fear omg . We watch our friends and there children fight and continue to fight seven years into this and I am grateful of where we stand, seven years since we heard that dreadful word CANCER

As we speak its after 11:00 all I hear is wrestling in the other room .. And something crash

so many of our friends sit in silence alone..

I am grateful for my loud boy filled house!

Ty will be 13 on February 2nd whoo hooo !!!
I wonder what he has planned for me this year!

Monday, December 11, 2006 6:09 PM CST

SCANS ARE ALL CLEAR!!!!

Yes all clear ,.. Thank god!

As usual its been a rough weekend around here. Saturday night as we waited to hear about the results Ty decided to make moms worry a little more and proceded to throw up all over the house. He also doubled over in pain twice and really did not want to eat. But I guess he had a icky stomach going on cause he remains CANCER FREE!!!!

Those are the best words ever and I pray that I will never have to face a different diagnosis again. So we did come out of there needing to see other doctors. But we can handle everything as long as it doesn’t start with “C” Ty now has some major hearing loss so we have to go see the audioligist and find out whats going on there. We also examined his sneakers and he is walking really strange. So he was seeing Dr Baynham already but that was just for the growth check up. Now we have to look at the way he is growing is it even or leaning towards uneven growth?? We are not surprised by this,he had so much radiation at only five years old. We have been blessed that his gowing has been so NORMAL for the last seven years!

Ty is currently 5’ even and 96lbs

We also have to look at his blood work and hormones ,seems our little man has yet to even come close to going into puberty on his own so the doctors are going to decide what steps to take to force the puberty to blossom.
The doctor was so sweet and during the evaluation she stated that “she didn’t think Ty would have kids” HELLO we knew that already and that’s been one of the hardest parts for me because Ty really wanted to have a baby and that was a sacrifice we had to make to keep him alive.. Yes mom has plenty of guilt sometimes… so anyway the doctor was someone new who had yet to discover what Ty is really like.. Its not funny to laugh but Ty responded to her statement with “ oh great there goes Jr” waived bye bye to said organ amd busted out laughing,.needless to say the doctor was scared she had hurt his feelings or told him something he didn’t know already. After he noticed the look on her face he apologized and said it was alright that he already knew there wasn’t going to be a MINI ME !! Omg one Ty_Michael is enough!

Thursday when we were at St.Marys for scans we were able to see some of the nurses and hospital staff that we grew to love. Everyone was so happy to see Ty and how grown up he is now. He is seven years older now a teenager with personality and character like no other!

DON’T LAUGH AT THE KIDS…….

Is that possible??
This was a long learned gift from Nurse Krazy Karen. It plays out kinda like this… OMG thank you Karen!

Ty played a horrible trick on Nurse Cris … yeah Cris for those who knew Ty back then!! Poor Nurse Cris

I wanted pictures of Ty with his nurses Janice ,Judy and Cris. So they all agreed and so Ty says hold on be right back and runs into the rest room .(. Contrast empty stomach = bathroom trip..sounded logical right ?) NOPE he comes out and without even aiming and he squirted Nurse Cris right in the face with a syringe full of water . They all started laughing {thank god } I was freaking out ! Why mike why?? They all agree he will always be Ty-Michael !
So I was able to get a few really nice pictures of them all.. And Ty was not eaten!

WHY IS THIS FUNNY

Nurse Karen was the only one who could make Ty smile and get him out of bed.. Ty had been sick about one week at that point and Tim and I left the hospital together for the first time Ty had not been alone a second sooo this was when Karen comes into his room and gives him a huge syringe full of water and tell him to squirt her,, a giggle then she said to come out here to thenurses station and squirt us all.loades of laughter filled the halls ..so Ty proceded to soak all of the nurses on O-2 peds that night… but you know he got them one better still.. As he ran around soaking the nurses and laughing like crazy he told them each time “ you cant get me wet my m om will get mad “ he got away with that answer ONLY that night!! The syringe fights will always be in the top 10 memories never forgetten . Cancer sucks but life happens everyday !

Alex had a great check up as well today . The boy will be 15 in 4 months he is 5’3” and 109 lbs. he grew about 6 inches over the summer and doesn’t look like he is going to slow down anytime soon.
he does need glasses and braces but other than that he is growing nice.. He is still too skinny but he is solid muscle. Alex is also a blue belt in judo now. He competed last weekend and was givin the gold and silver.. the silver was earned ! He moved up in age brackets now the boys he is to compete against are giamts!! Real giants real fast giants ..we are not sure if we are going to let him compete for awhile and go into deep training instead. He could go to the Olympics ,

Christmas is right on top of us already . I cant believe it the whole year is gone again ..so fast .I kinda wish it would all slow down a little..

Please pray for so many families out there tonight who are missing there child or loved one stolen by cancer. Please pray for the moms and dads who are sitting at the bedside crying praying begging for another day another minuet another anything ! Please pray for the kids off treatment in remission and learning again a new normal! Pray for the doctors hands to do gods work in healing all of our children!

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday Merry Christmas we love you

Thursday, December 7, 2006 7:59 PM CST

TODAY WAS SCAN DAY!!

I HATE SCAN DAY!! I HAVE HAD AT LEAST 10 MAJOR ANXIETY ATTACTS TODAY AND THATS GOING INTO THESE SCANS KNOWING TY IS PERFECT AND VERY HEALTHY. I AM NOT WORRIED

I WILL POST AS SOON AS I GET THE RESULTS

Saturday, November 11, 2006 4:49 PM CST

THE HARD TO HANDLE ANNIVERSARY! 7 yrs DX

Ty was scheduled for scans on friday but i had to reschedual due to fighting with insurance companies..uugghh hopefully we can get everything straight and scan at the 1st of the month. Ty as usual is having some issues with his stomach as if he knows its scan time, but i think its him growing and where the bones fused and his scar tissue calcified causes him a great deal of pain.
I am working diligentley to get him covered by some sort of insurance at this point i would take anything that would cover treatment and post treatment issues!

I feel the need to share tys story here today. its long and emotional but its here if ya wanna check it out!

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7 years ago today our lives changed forever!! today marks the day we found out ty had cancer..well kinda.. i was told but didnt hear..i listened but couldnt comprehend..i knew but refused to believe.

Most of you know his story but this day at 5 am i am awake and feel i need to share it again.I didn't feel this emotional rollercoaster would hit me today especially so early in the day .

SOOO the week started as normal school work,kids,NORMAL , The aftenoon of 11-10-99 Ty was involved in a horrible fight on the bus. He came home and usually the drivers aid would walk him to the door he was only five ,this day they did not walk him to the door.Ty came in said he had a belly ache and headed straight to bed. I figuered it was his way of getting out of quiche for dinner. Ty wasnt the best eater all he ever wanted was ice cream. That night around 9:00 pm as we were putting alex to bed we see that he had thrown up in bed. We cleaned him up and asked him if he was ok he then told us about the fight, apparently another child had stolen from school and he was mad he told the boy to give it back and they other child said no so Ty being Ty he took it and said he was going to give it back to the teacher . thats when this 12 year old jumped over the seat knees first into his stomach then they went to rolling around on the bus fist fighting. Ty didnt tell us at first because he knew fighting was againt the rules. That night he threw up again around 2:: am and thats when Tim and I decided that if he wasnt any better in the morning i would take him straight to the doctor. Well Ty did not want to wake up at all in the morning.. he was vomiting green not bile some other never seen before green.. and was really listless so i let him go back to sleep till around 10 am when i tried again to get him going without much luck..so off we went to the doctor.. Dr.Mike is a good doctor but im sure cancer and perfectly healthy 5 yr old did not connect with him. the doctor stated that Tys belly was all banged up and he would be sore for a few days he gave us some tylenol-3 and said liquid diet for a 24-48 hours. We went home and i gave Ty a red pop and about half way through he doubled over in pain.and started throwing up again GREEN YUCK! I called the Doctor who said go straight to wellington reginal medical center (worst mistake ever) where i stayed and watched the life drain out of my baby boy. as the hours past and he declined the er doctor there continued to say " he is fine, he is sore take him home" my gut continued to say "this is not my baby,there is something WAY wrong with him, he isnt sore,he is not fine look at him hes dying" my mouth told the doctor over and over i wanted a ct scan and i believe he had internal bleeding i just knew it was something. All day and night i fought and begged this so called doctor to help him to look deeper not to just go with symptomatic bs that he was taught about 5 yr olds. At 1am i just couldnt take it anymore i couldnt hear him tell me to just take him home and let him rest. he was LIFELESS so i assaulted the doctor (LOL) dont mess with the mama.. thank god i did because after they put me in cuffs and i thanked god that ty was so out of it he didnt see me that way they sent PBSD to the rescue.. they also sent a female officer who took one look at my 5 yr old and said put him in the CT machine. Well this is where life moved a little to fast for me... i went into the ct room with Ty. no sedation was needed he was already so out of it i watched the faces of the techs go white and there mouth was just hanging open at that point at 1ish in the the morning after we had been there since 11 am he had a trama team of 11 doctors all over him.. i was sooo happy and i was sooooo mad at the same time.. i just kept saying i knew there was more to this. The lovely doctor came and said im sorry but he has a large hematoma on his bladder and we are going to trama him to st marys hospital for emergency surgery!! THANK GOD WHOO HOO.. i trusted St.Marys . well they took him in less than five minuets and off i was trying to keep up and doing over 80 mph through town and down I-95 talking on my cell phone to mom and tim.. i was so happy i remember feeling so happy and excited that he was going to have surgery i think i was just happy that they found whatever it was inside him that was stealing his life so fast. Well then the night took a huge turn for the worse... when i finally got to st. marys ty was already there and i parked in the loop and went running to the door. The handsome doctor standing in the doorway stoped me and asked if i was ty's mom and then asked what the doctors said was wrong . i proudly stated" he had a blood clot a hematoma on his bladder and yall are gunna take it out." he said "no its a tumor "i said "ok take it out" he says" no your not understanding he has a tumor "and i again stated "ok then take it out" the very frustrated doctor said" listen he isnt stable we have to stable him in icu or were going to loose him." i understood that!

ICU was so scarey so many tubes so many kids and noises beeping and crying and hustle of nurses and doctors. i think i was in shock from this point forward. Ty continued to decline and there was no stable point. so after several days of trying they said "we have to go in and take out as much tumor as posssible or were going to loose him" we went straight to surgery. we were so scared tim and i were just clinging to eachother like crazy our life was spinning out of control we had no control over this we couldnt do anything for our baby just be there.. it sucked!

now a very important part of our healing also hapened that dreadful day.. ty's surgery was about 7 hours during that time we walked and paced back and forth we laughed ,cried ,laughed ,cried alot more, we talked with other parents not about ty but just talked we were in such a state of shock. well this awesome little cutie pie two year old baby girl comes down the hallway looking like a wounded soldier she had been kicked in the head by a horse and was going in for some plastic surgery to fix it up.. she had gauze wraped around her head and one drop of blood ran down the side of her face. she was sitting up and oh how cute she was.. anyway the mom comes out of the O.R upset called her husband who was downright mean she told him what happend and he was mad the baby was hurt and she just kept saying she took her to have fun not get hurt..anyway she was added to the room of scared family members waiting for the doctor to come out and tell them the news! we talked just a little, but she sat in the chair next to me for hours.
then miss pat came out and confirmed Dr.bufos dx ..RHABDOMYOSARCOMA IV a soft tissue tumor about the size of a vollyball. the tumor filled his entire abdominal cavity from his prostate to his ribs .

**Had the fight not occured ty would have passed on his own withen a few weeks maybe a month the tumor had overtaken his little body , we would have had no clue what happened until after an autopsey because he had onlyone symptom..he only wanted to eat ice cream! **

... Ty was on his way back to ICU they told us to leave for awhile he would be awhile before we could see him that he was stable and would be in the icu there was nothing we could do for now and we couldnt touch him..uugghhh... so at that point i spent the next almost two hours talking with Jeff Oldfather a local news anchor. we touched every topic about ty .. how was he what happened how did i feel about the boy who he fought with and of course the main reason for the interview .why did palm beach transportation refuse to tell me what happened to my little boy on thier bus???? well.. palm beach transportation also refused to speak to the media so at 11:00 the news played... 12 YEAR OLD BEATS UP 5 YR OLD AND SAVES HIS LIFE..i was so mad ..how dare he give that bratt kuddos.. GODS HANDS thats how.. well the next morning as i sat at tys bedside watching him breath the nurse came in and said i had a visitor.. thank god amanda was there to go downstairs for lunch oh how i needed to step away for a few minuets.. but it wasnt amanda at all ..it was the mom of that cute little girl she came to ask how ty was. she was white as a ghost i asked her about her baby gurl and saw her running up and down the hall she was fine .. mom was looking so distraught she said "im so sorry, my son brandon is the boy who beat up your son" what are the chances of that .. to sit with the mom of the other child during surgery in palm beach county???
well at that point god washed away some of the anger and pain and i told the mom .. boys will be boys and boys are going to fight but you must let him know how major this is and how bad he had hurt ty i gave her a hug and went back to ty's bedside.

i will never forget how much god played in ty's dx. so many things happened to prove his love for us.
now moving on.. ty's treatment was rough.. he basically spent the next year in the hospital his first time home was for christmas eve we kidnaped his little bald head to take him home so he could put the angel on on chirstmas tree but he was back in house before 3 pm on christmas day they didnt discharge him or empty his room the doctor, i wont say wich one just covered his eyes and said" have a safe and beautiful christmas and see ya tomomrow!" he pointed at the door and yea we ran with ty lol.. it was a rough christmas no one had seen him yet without his hair and so grey looking. alot of tears of joy as well. he was with us.

Ty wasnt given good odds ..they were downright shitty if you ask me.. but 54 weeks of chemo 28 radiations and too many "hopperations" to mention as well as more blood transfusions than you could count. he is with us !!

Ty is 12 now, a teenager by age but an old mans heart. He is the most loving and compassionate person i have ever met he is also hard headed and honnor student a wild man and a lover of all!

This is just a very basic summary of his treatment and the side effects that went along with it!

thanks for being here with us for the last 7 years. thank you for your prayers for compleate healing. thank you for following other children that we have grown to love along the way and the prayers sent to the parents who must sit and feel the emptyness of there arms as there child could figh no more!

Friday, October 13, 2006 2:52 PM CDT

HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY TY-MICHAEAL

Six years ago today Ty was given his last dose of chemo and began his recovery and new life as a CANCER SURVIVOR! What a great word survivor~

We are amazed how very far he has come. He is doing so good in school straight A /B honor roll and other than his “I know it all “ additude. He is a normal pretty healthy pre-teen. With way to may girls chasing him around!

Today I was thinking about how Ty handled this last dose of chemo.. it was pretty funny actually. I had told Ty that “tomorrow he was done no more chemo” well the little man took it very literally. The 13th of October came and when the nurse came to administer the chemo he had a fit he said he was done and flat out refused another dose. We had to fight and beg and plead with him and finally when it was all said and done we had to bribe him with fudgie the whale ice cream cake. And the off chemo party was a huge help also. He finally agreed to just this last dose and never another. So far he has gotten his wish. He has never had another dose of chemo. He wasn’t able to leave the hospital till November 15th when his counts started to rebound.

So in the last six years we have had many, many ,many scares of relapse we have had what seems like hundreds of scans checking him out and so many doctors to still follow regularly but he remains CANCER FREE!!!! Ty has too many long term side effects but we also know he was blessed that he doesn’t have so many more. He could have much worse than he does. We really are blessed with the good quality of life. Ty does continue to have health issues that scare the crap out of me his neurotic momma such as the abdominal pain he continues to complain of daily including the intestinal problem and some growth and brittle bones from the radiation and the chemo. His life was spared his body will go through a lot more as he continues to grow and develop but this is all small time in the big picture!

Ty-Michael continues to amaze us with his loving nature and compassion for everyone he comes in contact with. We hear from many people how helpful he is and how well mannered he is..sometimes I have to ask are you talking about MY Ty lol he isn’t “bad” but he can be so wild and insane sometimes. He has so many wonderful qualities we are grateful he is so strong willed and stubborn even, this is why he is still with us today! Like I said he has a mind of his own. He remains positive and his words of strength are “I WILL” and he does!

Love to you all
Audra

This is Ty’s song!

I Believe I Can Fly
I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

2-If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

1-I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
(Oh) I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes the silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me
(repeat 2, 1)

Could I believe in it?
(rpt 2, 1...)

Monday, October 2, 2006 3:22 PM CDT

We have just returned from Camp Boggy Creek. It was an amazing weekend action packed with fun, singing, dancing, cheering and love love love !

The boys were really good and they were assigned the best family pal. Both of them were extremely dedicated to our sons. I thought that Ty was the most energetic person I have ever met, then I met Nick!

Nick was so much fun he danced so much he laughed like a 12 year old all weekend and he was a danger mouse just like Ty. I haven’t quite decided it that is good or bad lol . really he was wonderful.
Mark was our other family pal he also was so much fun a little more laid back so there was perfect balance. Mark really seemed to fall in love with the kids and not just mine. I know that he is going to be an awesome doctor one day very soon and I know he will be the best doctor. One that I would take my child to and know he would receive the best care that was rounded with love and understanding.

Both of these young men could have done other things this weekend. I am sure there was a party or two or a beach outing maybe a girlfriend to take out . but they decided they would give there time and love to a bunch of kids they didn’t know and im sure on the way to boggy there was some anxiety as to what to expect.. you think cancer kids and the first thing that comes to mind is how sad and how scarey or a million other things that could scare you away! But thankfully they came to play with our family for the weekend.

Boggy has a great way of teaching love and understanding through laughter and tears. To see a child you “know” has fought for there life so FULL of life it really makes you step back and take a good look at what is important in life. Cancer sucks all the way around but life is good. Kids continue to grow and laugh, families
continue to develop and change and life happens!

Boggy is also a great place to meet other families who have walked the same path as us. Some are new to this cancer world.. some are right in the middle and some are survivors long term and recently off treatment. Each of us in a different stage of cancer (what a horrible word) we are able to support each other in a way no others can. I found the weekend to be so refreshing. I had a few very sad moments when I saw a young child struggle but the majority was fun and peaceful. I met some of the most awesome families. Families we would love to get to know more of because although our paths have been different our walks the have been the same.

My young men were there normal wild man self. And I watched them act like short men lol girls girls and more girls.. they are short chick magnets. And its so funny to watch!

I found out also this weekend just how popular and loved Ty-Michael is. His “festive” personality has really blossomed over the years and the behavior wich seemed so out of hand as he was growing up has turned into that awesome quality I was hoping for. He is so loving caring giving dedicated and always the first to help someone who is in need. If it’s a hug or just someone to sit next to and sit quiet and just be supportive. I know all of our kids are special but there seems to be something much deeper going on here.
The question of why him is being answered daily. Why him?? Because he can handle it. Why him? Because he has the mental strength to carry on and not feel pitty for himself. Why him? Because there is so much love in that little man that if he was to be just a normal kid it would not developed the way it has. Why him because he has the strength to carry on. And why him… because Boggy is going to need a director in a few years and who better than the festive Ty-Michael.

Something scarey did happen.. well if you know me you know snakes are just not a favorite creature . well another family was walking from the archery trail and a rattle snake was crossing the path. The dad killed the snake by cutting off his head and then Ty carried that icky snake around showing it off and freaking me out. All I can say is YUCK! I was so worried poisen would leak out and harm him ..yes I am neurotic as they get!
So later in the night oh after midnight my cell phone started to go crazy . it wouldn’t stop beeping that I had messages but there is no connection there at camp so I decided to go out side and see if I could get a signal..well I walked down the sidewalk to the road and just as I crossed into the road I though O.M.G there is a really mad momma snake out here and imeadiatly ran back to my cabin . I don’t think my feet touched the ground . haha

Medical update :
Well I don’t know what to say at this point other than we are about to have scans again. They are scheduled scans and guess what TY is having issues AGAIN!!!
I would like to scream why why why why why does he get something going on everytime he has scans coming up. I know to make his momma crazy!
Ty keeps buckling over in pain. If tickled he is almost in tears and his energy level is really low. (very unlike him) . he says it’s the stich and we know he does have a stich on his kidney that has caused him pain in the past so im going to put my mind and energy into thinking its just a stich!

Well I am at work and im not really doing my work so I have to go. Thank you to everyone who stops by to check on Ty. He really loves to get messages in his guest book so don’t forget to sign in even to just say hello!

Love and peace to everyone
Audra

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:32 PM CDT

HELLO,

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY TY'S WEB PAGE.

THE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN SEVERAL MOMENTS OF REFLECTION.
I AM IN AWE OF HOW FAR WE HAVE COME IN THE LAST 7 YEARS!

MEDICAL UPDATE FIRST:
TODAY WE MET WITH DOCTOR BUFO WHO IS JUST THE BEST DOCTOR IN THE
WHOLE WIDE WORLD. WE WENT IN FOR CHECK UP/RECHECK FROM LAST SURGERY.
HE EXAMIND TY AND SAID HE LOOKED GREAT VERY HEALTHY. WE THEN TALKED ABOUT
SCANS AND HE WILL CONTINUE TO BE CLOSE MONITORED TILL HE IS CLEAR 10 YEARS. BUT
STILL RECOMENDS FOLLOWING UP ALWAYS. TY WILL HAVE SCANS VERY SOON, AS IT IS THAT TIME
OF YEAR ALREADY AND TY ALSO HAS TO GO TO A HORMONE DOCTOR TO MAKE SURE HE IS PRODUCING
ALL THE RIGHT HORMONES TO GROW AND DEVELOP . HE MAY NEED SHOTS AT SOME POINT TO HELP
HIM "MATURE" PHYSICALLY . ONLY BECAUSE HE HAD SOOO MUCH RADIATION WITH NO BLOCKS FOR
25 OF 28 RADIATION TREATMENTS. SO WE WILL TAKE THE HES DOING GREAT ANSWER AND WE WILL
CROSS THE BRIDGES THAT NEED CROSSED WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT . TODAY HE IS HEALTHY TODAY WE
ARE SO GRATEFUL FOR EVERYONE AND MOSTLY OUR MAKER FOR SAVING TY'S LIFE.

SUNDAY WAS THE CONNOR MORAN CHILDRENS CANCER FOUNDATION ANNUAL
TRIP THE THE RAPIDS WATER PARK. IT IS SOO MUCH FUN WE DEFINATLEY LOOK
FORWARD TO GOING EVERY YEAR! THIS YEAR WAS NO EXCEPTION. TIM WOKE UP
ON FRIDAY DOING THE WERE GOING TO THE RAPIDS DANCE I WAS SO HAPPY HE
WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING AND ENJOYING PLAY TIME AND R & R!

I WENT THROUGH A FULL RANGE OF EMOTIONS THIS TIME.. THE MAJORITY OF OUR FRIENDS
DID NOT GO THIS YEAR. AND THEN A FEW OTHERS HAVE LOST THERE CHILD. THERE WERE WAY
TO MANY NEW PEOPLE I HAD NEVER MET BEFORE. SOOO.. ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT
I AM A TOTAL SHUTTER BUG AND IM ALWAYS TAKING ALOT OF PICTURES OF EVERYONE. SO I WAS WALKING
AROUND THE PARK ON SUNDAY AND AS I STOPPED BY THE KIDDIE POOL I COULD SEE BABY CAM PLAYING
ON THE TURTLE DADDY HOLDING HIS HAND MOM READY TO CATCH HIM OFF THE CRAB SLIDE .SO MANY
EMOTIONS RAN WILD. WHAT A SPECIAL LITTLE MAN AND HIS PARENTS TOO.
I ALLOWED MYSELF TO FEEL THE PAIN THAT I FELT FOR HIS WONDERFUL PARENTS AND THEN THE JOY
OF THE LAUGHTER I WAS REMBERING. I CAME HOME AND I LOOKED THROUGH MY PICTURES AND THOUGHT
I AM SO HAPPY I AM PICTURE CRAZY.

WE HAVE A LITTLE RITUAL IN OUR FAMILY. WE LOST OUR "PAPA" QUINTEN MY SWEET BABY. SO NOW WHEN WE GO TO THE RAPIDS WE ALWAYS SEND A LONE TUBE DOWN FOR HIM. HIS RIDE AND I HOPE HE HAD FUN! I LOVE AND MISS YOU PAPA BEAR.YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BOYFRIEND!

HE WAS SO YOUNG
SO FULL OF LIFE AND LAUGHTER. BRAIN CANCER TOOK HIM SEVERAL YEARS AGO.. BUT NOT BEFORE THIS YOUNG
MAN STOLE OUR HEARTS. TIM BASICALLY ADOPTED HIM ..EVERY TIME WE WERE TOGETHER TIM WAS SHOWING
HIM HOW TO LIVE AND PLAY THEY ALWAYS LAUGHED TOGETHER AND DID DANGEROUSE STUFF TOO.. LIKE GO DOWN
TUBING TORNADO OR THE TOWER OF TERROR AS WELL AS EVERY ROLLERCOASTER AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS. I WAS SO SCARED SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN.. HOWEVER HIS MOTHER FELT THAT SHOULD SOMETHING HAPPEN SHE WOULD KNOW IT HAPPENED WHILE HE WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME FILLED WITH LAUGHTER AND PURE LOVE. THANKFULLY EVERYTHING ALWAYS TURNED OUT GREAT AND WE ALWAYS HAD A WONDERFUL ACTION PACKED TIME TOGETHER!

REFLECTIONS... TODAY TIM ASKED WHERE THE OLD VIDEO CAMERA WAS SO HE CAN TAKE IT TO JUDO.. WELL I FOUND IT AND GOT IT OUT AND DUSTED IT OFF A LITTLE. I THEN DECIDED TO TRY IT OUT AND PRESSED PLAY. AS I WATCHED THE IMAGES ON MY SCREEN I COULDNT BELIEVE THIS WAS OUR FAMILY VIDEO (S). WHO WAS THAT SKINNY BALD KID WHO WAS THAT LITTLE CURLY Q KID ALEX.. I FOUND FOOTAGE FROM TWO BOGGY TRIPS, TY'S MAKE A WISH CRUISE, TWO ROUNDS AT THE RAPIDS, MANY MANY EVENTS THAT TY WAS INVOLVED IN TO BRING AWARENESS TO CANCER AND OUR KIDS AND THEN THE VERY LAST CLIP ON THE VIDEO WAS HIS BIRTH! YES WE DID VIDEO HIS ARRIVAL,HOWEVER IT WAS STRANGE TO FIND THAT CLIP AS THE LAST CLIP. ALL THE OTHERS WERE HIM WITH CANCER, DOING CANCER ACTIVITIES CANCER CANCER CANCER YUCK! I TOOK IT AS A POSITVE SIGN.. HIS REBIRTH . I LOVED TO WATCH THESE VIDEOS.
LISTENING TO THE BOYS TALK THEY SOUND SO FUNNY SO LITTLE.. I AM REALLY JUST SO HAPPY TONIGHT THATI WAS ABLE TO HAVE THESE MEMORIES SAVED SO I CAN WATCH THEM AS OFTEN AS I NEED TOO. OUR BABY BOYS ARE TURNING INTO MEN NOW!

we will be going to boggy the last weekend of the month. we are so very excited . our heart is always at camp. we always find peace at camp boggy creek. we go in search of "the love"

also the last weekend in october the boys are in the disney martial arts festival in orlando. we are all very excited and plan on taking a few days to play a little while were there .we havent had a vacation in forever. we are planing on going to the halloween horror nights scarey stuff and also the hoop de doo dinner review lol a great night of music dancing and southern food! i will update again and let you know how everything is going
xoxox
audra

Sunday, August 13, 2006 8:37 PM CDT

its been awhile since my last update life has been going along as it should be slow and steady.

Ty had a great time at Camp Fiesta he was gone just over a week and they did more stuff during that week
of camp than most people do in a year. lol .. Ty went to Bush Gardens and to Islands of Adventure they went to see Gloria Estephan (sp) in concert they had a dance met Dolphin cheerleaders and on and on .. i cant remember everything but i do know that Ty had an awesome time he made alot of friends and got to hang out with his long time life long friends.

The camp is a bit bitter sweet for us parents. it hurts so bad to look at them all and there lost innocents. only because when its time to go pick up our little warriors they are with all of there close friends all with one common bond they have or have had CANCER! the counslers are also survivors they all UNDERSTAND the changes and the long term effects not just the physical stuff but the mental and additude.. i mean lets see ..kids from like 8 yrs old to adults some of these children have lost more friends in there little lives than most will in a lifetime. they have seen the morbid effects from the surgerys that we must do to save there life.. and accept it as NORMAL and then they have all walked the same path when they lost all hope when today they were just to weak to fight, they dont wanna DO IT anymore. you cant make me do it s AND then they wipe the tear or stomp a foot and say alright lets go im ready to fight and they do. i love to go to the camp and pick up ty it gives me a chance to catch up on the children we have grown to love this past seven years and talk with there parents . i think its amazing how much they grow.

ok so that was the camp update .. we are now back in the real world of middle school !
Ty is in 6th grade and Alex in now an 8th grader they started school on wednesday at a brand spanking new school its so beautiful the boys say it cool not "beautiful" . they are now at the same school again wich is really nice for us. but that will change next year when alex goes off to high school .. omg that made me feel old!

SPEAKING OF OLD!!! HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY TIMMY WE LOVE YOU!!

Yea Tim has turned 50 as of today 8-13 we had a nice party with our friends and extended family. We are so blessed to have this old man around he creeks and squeeks a little and moans and groans a little when trying to get up , but he still has all his teeth !! lol see the positive in everything !
but for real tim looks and feels great you would never know his age by looking at him as he is so very handsome. he is a 100ands on dad very involved in there social sports and academic lives. tim was definatley an angel sent to us and he has stood strong by our family for 12 years now.
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sending out some prayer request .. my daddy is about to undergo some major surgery on thursday to hopefully clear some of his arteries.. he already had both sides of his neck done the first surgery wasnt so bad the worst part being they scratched his eyes with the tape used to keep them closed... the second suregery should have been about 2 hours and it was more like 7 and felt like 700 this surgery didnt go so well.. he had a stroke and an annurisim on the table and thank god thats where it happened because the doctor was able to fix the artery. the very wonderful doctor with the extreamly horrible bed side mannor came out and told us he had to keep the blood to my dads brain shut for 72 mins .. witch is about 60 mins longer than he should have told us to pray he wakes up and if he does he would have memory loss and paralisis from the stroke and had he quit smoking two weeks earlier they would have had an easier time,. well thankfully my orniery old man woke up and had no memory loss my step mother talked to him about everything from 20 years ago to present and his mind was sharp as a tack.. thanks nick.. physically he did alright also he had no side effects from the stroke and has done pretty good .. well now he has to have the "BIG" surgery the entire abdomen the doctor will open his abdomen from the rib cage to pelvic bone he will the roto-rooter his artierys ..im so scared i cant stand it .. he was here with us today for breakfast and he was so tired and worn out at 10 am he had trouble walking 50 yrds and had to stop and rest it really broke my heart to see my strong dad my rock my daddy so tired and hurting his poor feet were almost purple and i dunno im just freaked out about it .. and today i cried all day because i fear this surgery and i guess im just selfish and couldnt deal with the thought of him not being here . so please pray for a steady hand held by god and my baby brother to cheer him on and hold his hand from heaven. i know if anyone can make him strong nick can.
pray the surgery is a sucess and that it really helps improve the quality of life
pray for strength during his healing and recovery
pray my step mom can put up with his orniery-ness for however long it takes to get all better
and
pray that he lives a long long long life ahead

well i need to go to sleep my heart and mind are restless and i need to sleep so it will slow down

sending love

Audra

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 12:00 AM CDT

Well its been only 3 days since Ty went back to camp but we are really seeing the difference around our quiet and clean house . I have called Ty tornado since he was able to walk. Now I see that little nickname fit him perfectly. Our house is way too quiet poor Alex is bored to death without someone to fight with. And way too many girls are calling daily wanting to talk to the little Casanova .

I spent a much needed working vacation away in Hollywood fl at an amazing resort and spa. I really did not know how much I needed it. We made the work fun and the fun outstanding. I highly recommend a weekend away from the real world once in awhile.

School is going to start up in less than one month. It seems it was just over. Ty will be going to middle school. Amazing if you ask me.. I was thinking about the huge milestones we have (TY has) had. He has beaten the odds that were against him. He has grown and matured so much. Between his sports and school he is very involved and so is daddy aka Mr.Mom .

Ty will have a huge mile marker coming up very soon.. in October he will complete his 5 years off treatment and that makes 6 years for him cancer free !! November 11,2006 will be 7 years since he was dx and our world changed. I have seen a lot of the children that were treated at the same time as ty and I am really amazed that they are all so grown up. No I don’t think time is going to stop all around us and only ty will grow and change but its strange to see how 7 years can change and mature a child.

Do you ever read “my space” web pages? Well last night Alex was online and on the phone with a girl he likes a lot and he asked me to check out her page. Then I followed around a little and read some of the other kids web sites wich lead me to others and so on this is how the my space works. So as I read from the mind of teens I happened on Ty’s page and then fell into some of the kids he met at Boggy Creek or has known through his cancer battle and let me tell you as I read from these select children I was truly amazed at there strength and courage and out look on life. There hero’s were all lance Armstrong and each-other. They also listed themselves with “for surviving cancer” and of course the normal teenager hero’s . I guess what I am rambling about is all of our kids have had there life altered by cancer there childhood traded for chemo and they can still be kids. They still act like kids and play and they are normal no matter how un-normal there little lives have been. They have suffered so much lost so many friends and I am in awe of them all!

Sunday, July 9, 2006 9:57 AM CDT

hello all

well our little man has returned home from Camp Boggy Creek. he had a wonderful time and thankfully he was a good little camper lol

Ty just woke up and i went and was talking to him . he said he was crying all night because he was missing his friends. i feel so bad for him. the ammount of loss these children must suffer through out the years is unimaginable. These kids are so young and should never know so much about cancer or how much CANCER SUCKS! However in the midst of it all there is Boggy. a gathering place for all of our extreamly special kids. They laugh , play , run , and play games they cry together they sing and dance and they LIVE and LOVE. I find it quite amazing the strength and courage the just flows from the children .

Ty has been talking non-stop since his return... girls girls girls and new friends his silly old friends and all the crazy counslers. I am so grateful that there is this awesome camp for kids to go and just be kids.
www.boggycreek.com go look and see for yourself!

Our week was a lot less eventful. Tim and I actuallly had a few days alone sunday monday and tuesday till around 10 pm when his brother Alex came home. It definaltly was strange to have this big old house to ourselves and i dont think we reallly knew what to do with ourselves lol. we worked around the house a little and we went out to eat together wich was really nice. Monday i was really really sick i dont know if it was a bug or something i ate. Tuesday the 4th of July was really weird we had no kids and no plans to go party. We stayed home and watched the fireworks curled up in the back yard. i have to admit at first i was bummed out {being alone on the holiday} then it turned out to be a great day and night.

Today is going to be fun around here.. i have my two niece's with us and were going to do a photo shoot,the kids are never together like this , the girls live on the west coast and they dont have much t ime together, also i love my camera and pictures are definatly my passion so spending the day playing dress up should prove to be alot of fun. ALSO the boys are about to go to the us open for judo at the end of the month so timmy ordered them a new GE for the event. its beautiful with usa and the american flag embroidered on the sleves. so were going to go and have some professional pictures done also. i think its about time we have a great set of pics of our boys.

** Ty's medical update**
The ugly lump on ty's neck continues to grow ( i hate this lump) the scar on his neck is really bold this time. im sure its because he was so active after the surgery but in reality its kinda cute a pirate marking.

ty goes to see dr gowda next week for his annual check up. im sure all will be fine..but i still hate when we have to go .

well im off to play with the kids

love to everyone

Audra

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 8:55 pm

WOW I CAN NOT BELIEVE ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE MY LAST UPDATE. SO MANY THINGS HAVE HAPPENED IN OUR LIVES MOSTLY GOOD STUFF.

LETS SEE .. THE BOYS ARE ALL DONE WITH SCHOOL MIKE IS NOW A MIDDLE SCHOOLER LOL HE LOVES IT. HIS GRADES WERE GREAT AND I THINK HE IS REALLY GOING TO EXCEL IN SCHOOL.
HE IS ALSO NOW JR.STAFF AT THE BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB OF MARTIN COUNTY. THIS IS GREAT FOR HIM AS HE REALLY DISPLAYS LEADERSHIP SKILLS. HE IS A GOOD MENTOR..ALSO HE HAS TAKEN ALL THE RED CROSS BABY SITTERS CLASSES AND CPR. IM SURE HE WILL GROW INTO A VERY ROUNDED MAN.

**MIKES HEALTH **

LETS SEE WHERE TO START .. GEESH .. OK MIKE SPENT SOME TIME IN THE E.R. NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH HIM .. SEEMS A SPIDER OR SOMETHING TOOK A BIG BITE OUT OF HIS LEG. THE DOCTOR HAD TO CUT OPEN THE LEG LEAVING IT LOOKING LIKE A BULLET WOUND AND THEN PACKED IT SO IT COULD CONTINUE TO DRAIN THE POISEN OUT.
AS OF NOW THE LEG LOOKS GREAT AND DOESNT HAVE MUCH OF A SCAR..

NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS OR HOW TO ANYWAY BUT THE MYSTERY LUMP ON TY'S NECK IS BACK.. YUP BACK.. I CAN NOT EVEN BELIEVE IT MYSELF. I TOOK HIM TO DR BUFO WHO SAID HE WANTED TO JUST WATCH IT AND NOT DO ANOTHER SURGERY UNLESS HE REALLY NEEDED ONE. HES BEEN UNDER THE KNIFE SO MANY TIMES NOW (17) AND OVER SCANED SO UNLESS IT STARTS TO GROW LIKE CRAZY OR RESTRICT HIS BREATHING ITS STAYING.. ALL THE PATHOLOGY REPORTS SAY ITS NOT CANCER SO ... ITS ALL GOOD! STRANGE BUT GOOD!

MIKE WILL BE GOING TO CAMP TWICE THIS SUMMER.. HE WILL GO TO BOGGY CREEK IN EUSTIS FL ON JULY 2ND AND THEN HE GOES TO CAMP FIESTA ON JULY 14TH. I WISH WE COULD GO TOO BUT THE PARENTS ARE NOT INVITED (SAD) . I KNOW HE IS GOING TO HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME. I JUST HOPE HE DOESNT GET ADDITUDE WITH ANYONE.. HE IS AFTER ALL A TWEEN NOW.. I AM NOT SURE WHAT WE WILL BE DOING WHEN WE ARE DOWN TO JUST ONE LITTLE MAN IN THE HOUSE.

ALEX IS DOING WELL .. HE IS KINDA MAD AT US FOR SENDING HIM TO SUMMER SCHOOL..TIM INSISTED THAT HE GO DUE TO LOW MATH GRADES. WE HOPE THIS PULLS HIM BACK UP WHERE HE SHOULD BE AND MAYBE EVEN AHEAD OF HIS CLASS.. OUR MAIN GOAL WITH THESE WILD BOYS IS THERE EDUCATION. AND SPORTS!!

THIS WEEKEND I WENT ON A WEEKEND ALONE WITH ASHLEY MARIE MY BABY DUCK SHE IS ALMOST 19 AND SO BEAUTIFUL SHE IS ALL GROWN UP AND A REAL WOMAN IT KINDA TAKES MY BREATH AWAY WHEN I LOOK AT HER..I STILL CANT GET OVER THE FACT THAT THEY REALLY DO GROW UP AND THERE NOT LITTLE KIDS.. ASHLEY HAS SPREAD HER WINGS AND LIVES A GOOD LIFE WITH HER BOYFRIEND. I AM BEYOND PROUD OF HER

MOMS UPDATE..

WELL I HAVE TO ADMIT I HAVE A VERY HEAVY HEART LATLEY WE HAVE LOST MANY CHILDREN THIS MONTH. TIM TELLS ME I SHOULDNT FOLLOW THE OTHER KIDS BUT I HAVE TO I CANT JUST WALK AWAY . I LOVE TO READ ABOUT THESE CHILDREN BUT WHEN THEY LOOSE THERE FIGHT HERE ON EARTH IT IS VERY HEARTBREAKING, ONCE YOU ENTER THIS WORLD OF CANCER ITS VERY HARD TO TURN AWAY
BESIDES THE KIDS PASSING WICH SHOULD BE BAD ENOUGH THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO IS GOING AROUND POSTING CRAP IN GUEST BOOKS. I REALLY THINK THAT THE PEOPLE WHO DO THIS SORT OF THING TO A WOMAN WHO JUST LOST THE LOVE OF THERE LIFE ARE COWARDS AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES FOR EVEN GOING THERE.
UNLESS YOU HAVE WALKED THE CANCER WALK WATCHED YOUR CHILD SUFFER LIVE OR DIE YOU HAVE LIVED A WORLD THAT WAS TRULEY HELL. YOU LOOSE EVERYTHING AND HAVE TO LEARN A WHOLE NEW LIFE.. FROM CARING FOR YOUR CHILD ..I MEAN ITS JUST SO NORMAL TO GIVE YOUR CHILD 30 PILLS AT ONCE AND SHOTS EVERYDAY AND ITS JUST SO NORMAL TO GO AND LAY ON YOUR BABIES GRAVE JUST TO BE CLOSE TO THEM. I HOPE TO NEVER KNOW THE LAST ONE GOD WILLING TY WILL CONTINUE TO GROW AND THRIVE!
BACK TO MY POINT ITS JUST STRAIGHT UP WRONG FOR PEOPLE TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON ANY ONE HERE.. THIS IS A PLACE TO DEAL WITH OUR EMOTIONS OUR HEARTACHES AND JOY. SHARE OUR LAUGHTER AND TEARS AND THE STEPS WE HAVE TAKEN ALONG THE WAY MANY OF US COME HERE TO FIND OTHER PARENTS WHO KNOW WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUH.. AND HELP OTHERS.
WELL IM GETTING OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW. JUST HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST!

SENDING MUCH LOVE YOUR WAY
AUDRA

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 1:29 PM CDT

ANOTHER BULLET DODGED!

There have been times in the last 6 ½ years that we have questioned our sanity our strength and our faith.
We have walked a path that led us through the darkest hours and then the brightest days.

The past two months we have worried about Ty-Michael and his health and possible relapse. The little man has had scans , blood work , pokes surgery and tests galore . thank god I am here today to tell you that he remains CANCER FREE!!

Ty’s surgery went well the biopsy came back as an actual lymph node not the suspected gland. The only question on this non-cancerous node is why does it not respond to the antibiotics? After a 5 week course of antibiotics the lymph node should have gone away completely without surgery. However it didn’t so Dr. Bufo worked his magic fingers and removed it. The scar is beautiful and should fade away in due time. I asked the doctor if this could happen again and he said “with Ty any thing is possible” !

Monday Ty has a surgical procedure done a colon-osocopy and endo-scopy with several biopsy’s taken along the way. We were expecting to get the results on Thursday but Dr.Stevens called last night with wonderful news that all the biopsy that he took came back non-cancerous. he is now on a strict diet and meds for gastritis he will have to take these meds for a very long time to heal his gastric tract all of this was caused by the large amount of radiation that was directed at his abdomen. All I can say is there is no CANCER so we can live with whatever may be going on inside his little body.

We will monitor Ty very close for the next 12 months. He will have to really pay attention to what he eats and understand that if he cheets he will only be hurting himself more. He can NOT have ANY pizza, sauce , acid foods , oranges ,grapefruit pineapple, no fried foods and that includes chips or fries and nothing spicy. So Ty wants to know what he is allowed to eat? Oh and no SODA at all!!
I wonder if he will follow these eating habits even when he is away at camp this summer. Camp fiesta is july 15-23 I will have to send a note to his counseler and let him know the alternitive is Ty will throw up non stop and that will be no fun for him or his friends. But I really think after this boy has gone through 5 straight weeks of vomiting and diahreah and feeling so terrible I think maybe he has matured enough to take care of himself while on vacation. ( hope and pray)

Thank you so much for checking in on Ty-Michael

Sunday, April 23, 2006 10:12 AM CDT

Ty had his surgery on Friday morning he did pretty good through the surgery and then ran into some minor yet very scary post opp complications. He is now doing much better. He has only asked twice for actual pain medicine but has been very uncomfortable. He has always hated to take medication for pain or anything that might slow him down.

Ever wish you had a camera to capture a certain look on someones face? Well the look that Dr.Bufo had on his face when he came out of surgery was priceless.it was a look of shock and disbelief . He sat down with me and proceeded to tell me that he was really going in to remove cancer and what he found was a salivatory gland..how is this possible he removed that organ in September. Apparently Ty has some super power growth going on he really grew another gland. I of course have been online all weekend looking for info on this and found nothing. But I am so grateful that such a strange thing has happened and that Dr.Bufo feels he will get a all clear from pathology.

We came out of the woods and through a clearing our worries are not completely over yet. Tuesday mike sees the oncologist and the gastro doctor. He will have a endoscopy and colonoscopy several biopsy and then wait begins again . He will also go to the opthamologist to check for any possible vision issues that may cause these headaches and vomiting . We are looking for anything other than the dreaded “C” word!
Ughhh
I feel so bad for ty he has been going through so much and never complains about any of it. He just goes with the flow. His strength is just amazing,

I will update again after Tuesday .

Audra Tim and Ty

On a positive wonderful note Ty’s BIG sister will be here next weekend for a week, we are all very excited.

Thursday, April 20, 2006 2:58 PM CDT

Today is Thursday and our week keeps going from bad to worse. As we speak Ty is at Dr.Adams the gastro doctor . Dr.Bufo wants Ty to have a few more tests with a lot more biopsy through his intestinal tract, rectum and stomach. We are in fear of the worst apparently all the radiation we gave him during his treatment may have caused a new cancer . we still have our fingers crossed and praying like crazy that there is no cancer.

Tomorrow Ty will have the mass removed from his neck his surgery is set for 9 am at palms west. He wants to get it over with and so do we. Ths waiting really suxs. Tim and I are very scared at what is happening with our little man.

What I have done to find some happy medium is to go back and read the journal entries from two very talented writers who seem to know how to express the fear faith trust etc, Kathy and Michelle you have no clue how helpful your words and feeling are to me. I know that when I read and feel all that you have been through I know that with everything we face there is peace there is trust and faith and in the big picture life is so much bigger than the cancer that tries to steal our children. Our children are gifts to be shared.

We are not looking at this setback as cancer yet. I am trying not to dwell on the possiblilty that its back. We have to wait for the pathology reports to tell us exactly what is going on. The outlook doesn’t look good but as long as we haven’t heard CANCER im going to hold on to any shred of hope.

Please pray for ty-michael and our entire family as we struggle through the unknown

I will update after surgery

Love
audra

Monday, April 17, 2006 2:07 PM CDT

Ty-michael had scans on Thursday and at 4:00 pm Thursday we finally heard back from the doctor.. I say FINALLY as if it’s normal to get results in the same day when you normally hear back after several days. So usually when you hear back so soon its horrible news. Well the news is horrible YET.
Ty does not have a blockage or scar tissue in his belly. He has to see more specialist for the stomach pain vomiting headaches.
Ty will see Dr.Bufo on Wednesday about the mass in his neck. The mass is not a lymphnode it will come out in a few days and go straight to path to make sure its NOT cancer. We as parents are struggling with the days of waiting and uncertainty . I really need to know that he is alright. I really hate that every six months or so we deal with another issue with this young man. Seems like every time were dodging a bullet and now after so many dodged bullets the fear of an actual relapse looms over our heads AGAIN!

Our holiday weekend was spent keeping busy remodeling the house and preparing to host easter dinner for the whole family. The day was very nice very relaxing for everyone our home is really starting to come together and this was the first time anyone had seen it since we moved in. we were very proud of the hard work Tim has put into it. It was very nice to have the family together in a relaxing atmosphere. I love my house!

Thank you for your support and prayers don’t forget to keep all the little warriors in your prayers .

Audra

Saturday, April 8, 2006 12:54 AM CDT

There is always so much going on in our life ….
I took Ty in to see Dr. S the oncologist on Wednesday he examined him and then we went over to St.Marys for an ultrasound of his belly…why an ultrasound?? This is will never know seeing as a ultrasound wouldn’t ever pick up on possible scar tissue on the intestines or RHABDOMYOSARCOMA. Grrrr why this test I dunno but some good did come out of the scan. I got a chance to get a good look at his right kidney ( the one that was inside his tumor) the kidney was deemed to be a DEAD organ by Ty’s first surgen (never go see him) Armond Tufanian (sp?) he was called the (BUTCHER) said the kidney needed to come out .Thank god I followed my gut instinct on that day in November 1999. BECAUSE that right kidney is perfect is looks beautiful works perfect it IS PERFECT!!!!!

So we leave St. Mary’s and go straight to Dr. Bufo my favorite earth angel.. the most awesome surgen in the world the only surgen who will ever touch my baby. Then the real fun begins. Seeing that I took Ty in for abdominal issues imagine my surprise when the real issue became the lump on his neck. In October Ty had a large lump removed from his neck it was a salvitory gland and will never grow back,. The lump however has come back. Sigh. Back to scans next week. Ty will also have the upper G.I series to see if there is any scar tissue bands hanging on an intestine causing the vomiting and abdominal pain. That is what we are praying for. SCAR TISSUE!

Wednesday was a sad day all the way around.. the topper of my day was attending a funeral for Baby Cam or Farmer Brown the little sweetie passed away Sunday morning. His funeral was awesome a true tribute to his life and the strength and courage. Eric and Michelle did a great job decorating with pictures and toys and his paintings and drawings. I have never been to a more peaceful service. Michelle wore the most awesome red dress Cams favorite color. It was standing room only for the service and was able to sit with the Finestones and Susan Griffen and miss Amanda joes momma. As I looked around the funeral home my heart was so heavy as there were so many families there that I know .. some who are in the heart of the battle some who have finished treatment and way way way to many who have already lost there little one to this nasty beast. Please pray for lots of peace and comfort for all of the kids and families and for michelle and eric to find all the love from cam in every sunset sunrise and rainbow .

The relay for life was a huge success the new picture is ty singing “Skin” by rascal flats during the lumminare ceremony. The night was very touching and ty did a great job we were very proud of him

With much love
Audra

Thursday, March 23, 2006 10:19 AM CST

Sometimes when I come to this page to journal I am so filled with mixed up emotions that I never really know what to write or even how I am really feeling.

There is a very special little boy who really melted my heart from the day that we met,.his parents were just awesome. Young and full of life and hope for there future there baby boy was just diagnosed with neuroblastoma they had that shock factor still going on but were very friendly and open. There big blue eyed baby who was normally pretty shy came right up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss his mom was surprised by this show of affection. I fell in love. This sweet boy is now in the last leg of this journey through cancer. The beast will take yet another child another bright future a mothers love a fathers best friend. I question so much on these days then I go back and read his mothers words filled with strength courage and acceptance she understands all she will loose and writes of all she has gained in his short life and all the lesions that were taught to her. I love to read her posts even though these days I cant read without tears flowing and heart breaking. Please pray for peace and comfort for there family and little cam to be pain free. He has been in a lot of pain. Pray for his mom and dad to continue to have the strength and courage to carry them through this.

I question myself and why I have such a hard time accepting the loss of these children, the loss of there youth and innocence. Sometimes I sit back and I listen to Ty-Michael as he talks about the cancer he fought and how he has no fear of death or the cancer coming back he has no worries. His total aditude is about living and never giving up there is nothing he cant do because he had cancer and he won. I thank god that he was so young that he didn’t fully understand all that was happening at the time, there were too many times that we could have lost him to a wide array of things.line infections blood infections just about everything. We were given another chance with him.. to say we are very guarded with him now would be an understatement. I am borderline neurotic ( ok over the line ) I worry about every pain and every odd thing that’s going on inside his body. He still suffers from many long term side effects and has many more to face as he grows. He continues to have a very positive outlook on life. He still suffers with the loss of his friends wich as a parent I really hate to watch. He knows and understand a lot more than I do but it still hurts me to know all he has gone through.

Ty will see Dr Gowda on April 4th and true to his nature and the normal course of his treatment and post treatment he is having ISSUES. He has been having severe pain in his abdomen just to the upper right side of his pelvic bone. I hope this is just scar tissue that is ripping apart because he is growing and as he grows the scar tissue separates however as that happens more scar tissue will develop now seeing as he is also vomiting every night and having diareah on a daily basis I think that the scar tissue band may have grabbed on to a intestine or something. He is also having Severe pain in one spot on the back of his head that he describes as a knife going into his skull these are not like migrane pain as he will be just fine then grab his head have about 1-2 minuets of severe pain and then be fine again. The pain isn’t lingering as a headache would during the pain attacks he looses all color in his face and gets pretty hysterical this is very unusual for him. I hate that every time we have a doctor appointment he has an issue going on. The doctors think im crazy and really I don’t care about that but every time we get to see the doctor its not just a normal check up. I mean when I made the appointment it was for scheduled maintinance appointment not because I am worried about him ..he just goes every six months for check ups and this will be is normal check up. I am not sure yet but depending on how he does the next few days I will move the appointment up. We will watch him closer over the weekend and log the times he has the pain and vomiting (all night long) log what he has eaten and then when we do go to the doctor they can see the pattern we have seen over the last week and a half. I hate that cancer is always in the back ground and that we cant just think he must have a bug that doesn’t want to go away. I will not stress (lie) over this till I have to but I must admit that when he gets this way I get so scared. Tim is usually so calm and not worried with the many different things that happen with him when he does worry then I really stress… he is worried about this. Grrr . I think tim is worried mainly because its so unlike ty to get hysterical and then be fine. As well as he is the one who wakes up with him at night.

The relay for life is in one week we are excited about it.

I will update as soon as I know anything I know its just scar tissue.

Xoxox
Audra

Friday, March 10, 2006 7:27 AM CST

I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR DAYS TO WRITE AND UPDATE AND EVERYTIME I DO I JUST CAN NOT COMPLETE THE UPDATE.. I WILL START WITH CANCER SUCKS I HATE CANCER I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT CANCER AND I WISH NO CHILD OR ADULT EVER HAD TO HEAR THOSE WORDS AGAIN.

TY IS DOING VERY WELL HE IS DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL WORKING OUT ALOT AND GROWING LIKE A WEED. HIS GRADES ARE GREAT AND HIS FAVORITE PAST TIME IS READING ( COULD BE WORSE HUH?)

THE RELAY FOR LIFE IS APPROCHING FAST THE DATE CHANGED WICH ISNT SO GREAT BUT ALL WILL BE FINE. WE HAVENT RAISED NEAR THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT I WANTED TO RAISE BUT EVERY PENNY HELPS I AM JUST NOT SURE WERE GOING TO BEABLE TO BUY ENOUGH BUTTERFliES TO RELEASE IN MASS QUANITIES! SO BETWEEN NOW AND MARCH 31ST IM ON A MISSION TO SELL AS MANY AS POSSIBLE..SO ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO HELP OUT YOU CAN EMAIL ME OR EVEN CALL .. OR YOU CAN GO DIRECTLEY TO THE RELAY FOR LIFE PAGE.. AND CAN MAKE DIRECT DONATIONS IN THE TY'S TERRORS TEAM .
PLEASE HELP EVERY DOLLAR HELPS. ALSO PLEASE JOIN US IF POSSIBLEL AS TY LEADS THE SURVIVOR LAP AND THEN SINGS FROM HIS HEART!

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT TY WILL BE SINGING SKIN DURING THE LUMINARE CEREMONY,IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM BUT THATS THE TIME I CRY THE MOST AS THE CANDLES ARE LIT AND EVERYONE REMEMBERS LOVED ONES LOST TO THIS BEAST! SO DURING A DEEPLY SAD MOMENT IN TIME TY WILL SING OF A CHILD WITH CANCER ..THE TEARS FLOW JUST TYPING THAT.. KIDS SHOULD NOT GET CANCER KIDS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO ENDURE THE PAIN OF CHEMO ..HECK NO ONE SHOULD BUT ITS JUST SO MUCH WORSE THINKING OF A BABY WHO HASNT HAD A CHANCE TO LIVE LIFE AND THE PARENTS WHO LOST ALL THERE DREAMS FADE AWAY.

I HAVE BEEN VERY EMOTIONAL .. THERE ARE A FEW KIDS THAT I FOLLOW FAITHFULLY.. CANCER IS ABOUT TO TAKE THE LIFE OF A BEAUTIFUL CHILD ..WITH THE BEST PARENTS I HAVE EVER MET. HIS PARENTS HAVE STOOD SO STRONG WITH SO MUCH PASSION TO FIGHT AND SAVE THERE BABY THEY HAVE SO MUCH BELIEFE AND STRENGTH AND WORDS OF WISDOM THAT MAKE EVERYONE REALLY TAKE NOTICE AS TO WHAT THERE SAYING ABOUT SOAKING IN EVERY MINUETE OF LOVE AND PLEASURE THAT THEY FIND IN THERE BABY BOY. MY HEART BREAKS KNOWING THIS BEAST WILL TAKE AWAY THE LOVE OF THERE LIFE..PLEASE PRAY WITH EVERYTHING IN YOU FOR A COMPLETE CURE FOR HIM AND COMFORT AND STRENGTH DURING THIS HORRIBLE TIME.

I REALLY HATE CANCER..CANCER SUCKS..CANCER SUCKS..CANCER SUCKS .CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 10:52 PM CST

I READ THIS TODAY OFF SOMEONE ELSES WEB SITE AND IT REALLY SUMS UP THE DAILY EMOTIONS OF THE UNCERTAINTY OF CANCER.
ITS AMAZING HOW THE FEAR CAN LINGER SO LONG AND SO DEEP.WHEN DO YOU RECOVER FROM THIS FEAR? WHEN DO YOU CLOSE THE "CANCER CHAPTER " IN HIS BOOK OF LIFE?
TONIGHT I WENT TO PICK UP ALEX AND MIKE FROM JUDO. I WATCHED FROM OUTSIDE THE WINDOW FOR A FEW MINUETS THEY WERE BOTH DOING VERY GOOD ..DOING FLIPS AND THROWS ETC.. I WAS WATCHING AND THINKING HOW HURT HE COULD GET AND ENDED UP GIVING MYSELF AN ANXIETY ATTACK .SO I WENT INSIDE AND HE WAS ALL SILLY ON THE MAT KNOWING I DONT REALLY LIKE HIM IN JUDO AND THEN I GOT UP AND WENT TO THE RESTROOM AND IN THAT 2.5 MINS I WAS GONE HE WAS HURT.. TY IS GOING TO BE FINE SOME ICE AND SOME ICY HOT AND HES ALL BETTER . I WISH I COULD SAY I WAS.. BUT MY POINT IS I DONT THINK THERE HAS BEEN A DAY THAT HAS GONE BY THAT I HAVENT LIVED IN FEAR AS WELL AS REJOICE THAT HE WAS ABLE TO BEAT THIS MONSTER AND LIVE AND GROW

THURSDAY FEBRUARY 2ND IS TY-MICHAELS 12TH BIRTHDAY..
THANK YOU FOR STOPING BY. XXOXXOOXXO





What its like to have a child with cancer...

Picture your child sitting in the middle of the street.
Picture yourself in your home watching your child from the window.
Everything inside you wants to reach out and save them.
But you can’t get out, all you can do is watch and pray that God is watching over them
You see them fall and cry for you to make it all better.
But you can’t get to them, they can see you and see your tears.
And maybe hear your voice through all their tears.
You pray God will keep them safe.
You hear a car in the distance, but never know how far away it is,
some days it seems really close other days even closer.
You know that at an moment that car may come and change your world all over again,
in a split second you can be back to were you were when this all started or worse yet, the fight may be over.
Some days you start to feel a little more “safe” and back up from that window,
walk over to the couch and sit down, when just then you hear that car again
and in a second you are one with that window again, all those fears you tried so hard to put aside are back,
more intense this time, feeling guilty for having let your guard down.
It makes leaving that window the next time that much harder.
We want to keep them close at all times for fear of the unthinkable.
At night when you leave their side to go to bed, you take one more quick peek at them to make sure all is well.
You lay in your bed hoping to see them tomorrow, not wanting that day to end,
for as hard as it was that day they are here with you, and tomorrow is filled with the unknown,
every day, night after night these are our fears. We are exhausted in every way.
Our prayers from one night would fill God’s book a million times over.
All you can do is pray to God to spare them, let them be safe.
From that window you see the fear in their eyes, their hopes of the future,
such a small child sitting their all alone, surrounded by love, but alone ,fighting so hard,
not wanting to let you down, for they are very smart, they know our sorrows.
Seeing your child sit there ,wanting to help with all your might,
But knowing in the end its them and their bodies that must do all the work,
so much to ask of such a little person.
You’d never let your child sit there in the street, knowing that they could be taken from you at any moment,
you would not just sit there and stare at them and pray to God to save them,
you’d pick them up, wrap your arms around them and hold them forever, keeping them safe.
Yet that is what us parents of children with cancer are asked to do every day.
Let them sit there and watch and wait and pray, pray hard.
Yes, I believe in God, but that doesn’t stop my mother instincts to want to do something to help them.
How do we put everything we learned as parents aside, and simply hand it all over to God?
How is it decided which child shall live and which child will pass on?
Why is it that some children struggle so very hard and win their battle
only to have it return with much more vengeance?
Why do some children sail right through their treatment and then die suddenly?
How are we to make sense of any of this? With each clinic appt. brings the possibility of a relapse,
no matter how great they look or how wonderful they feel.
If only we could judge their health by the way they look on the outside.
We are suppose to protect them, to keep them safe from harm, who said cancer could make all the calls?
I never agreed to that, I am their mother and I will fight for them, with every ounce of my being.
Cancer may be calling the shots, but it will not win this game, not with my children, not with any of our children, we are so very weak, but so very strong, this bravery we have we get from our children,
our little heroes, fighting every day with all their might…
Pray for them…………

Friday, December 30, 2005 2:28 PM CST

WE HOPE EVERYONE HAS HAD A GREAT HOLIDAY AND GETTING READY TO RING IN THE NEW YEAR!

We are looking forward to starting out the new year with many changes in our lives. Our family has grown and we are buying a new home. The kids are all healthy and doing well in school and seem to be adjusting well to all the changes. Tim and i have never been happier so seems all is well in our little world.

We are starting the kickoff of the 2006 Relay For Life.. we have a team this year..Ty's Terrors. Our teams theme is the SuperBowl so basically we will decorate our tent and camp site all football style. I think its going to be a fun night for everyone. The over all theme of the Relay for life is Holidays around the world.. I know that superbowl sunday is not a actual holiday but for any and all football fans the superbowl is a very important event..family and friends come together and eat drink and laugh.. sounds like a holiday to me!

I have been planning many events comming up..

The biggest will be the sale of live butterflies. Each butterfly will be sold for 10.00 each and then they will be released at 6 pm as the survivors take the first lap of the relay. We are really looking forward to this beautiful display of butterlies fluttering around our theme for that is " Butterflies are FRee thats what survivors strive to be" that will be printed on the release boxes and can remain a keepsake once the butterfly has been released. we hope to sell lots of butterflies. Please contact me via email or phone if you would like to purchase a butterfly.

I have also had a butterfly coloring page made up and printed. they will be sold for $1.00 each or any monitary donation. The butterfly was designed by our good friend debbie who is also the mother of Ty's first girlfriend. It is beautiful. we will also give out one of the butterfly coloring pages with each live butterfly sold. Any of the pages that are colored and not kept will be hung on our campsite for everyone to see.

Also for sale are bracelets necklaces and earings..

Also dont forget the luminairs will be lit at 9 pm. spelling out the word HOPE as well as lineing the track. Each bag will have the name of a angel a warrior and survivors. Each bag will represent one life one light one love that was touched by cancer. Everyone who has ever been effected by cancer will understand the emotional impact of these candle lit bags.

I am going to end the entry with a request for lots of prayers we have some friends who are in the heat of the battle. my heart breaks just thinking about it . Litlle Cam has relapsed once again .he is the sweetest baby boy big blue eyes and blonde hair. both of his parents are so strong and his momma well i have never met a more dedicated mommy. The doctors dont want to give her any reason to have hope for Cam but she refuses to give up and they have decided there going to fight for everyday they believe in a cure for there son and wont stop until it is found. They needs lots of prayers to carry them through these rough days and even rougher nights..

Another boy a bright teenager Kyle has also relapsed again he will be going to duke for a bone marrow transplant soon his sister collette will be the one to donate the marrow to save his life. The family is in desperate need of prayers and help with the hardship of being away for months while they do everything possible to save there sons life.

Everyone knows Zach.. to look at him you would never know that cancer is inside his body.Or realise that he has been fighting so long and seems to grow stronger with each battle. he has great parents who refuse to quit and thet stand strong and battle between quality of life and life saving treatment. Zach seems to have a great quality of life. Just check him out on the soccer field or read his dads updates..

i know that i could sit here and list one child after another and so many families so many of you have touched our lives, you have brought tears to my eyes and laughter to my heart. i feel the pain and joys of many of the children and parents out there who still battle everyday. I am grateful to god and all the doctors who have been able to get Ty into remission and him remain there cancer free for a little over 5 years. All three boys i mentented to you have been on treatment since Ty was on treatment wich means they basically have been fighting this horrible beast five very long years. please keep them all in your prayers and as the new year comes around wish for a cure!

Peace
Audra

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Thursday, December 15, 2005 6:43 AM CST

THIS SONG REPRESENTS HOW TY FELT ABOUT CANCER!

The Impossible
(Kelley Lovelace/Lee Thomas Miller)

My dad chased monsters from the dark
He checked underneath my bed
An he could lift me with one arm
Way up over top of his head
He could loosen rusty bolts
With a quick turn of his wrist
He pulled splinters from his hand
And never even flinched
In thirteen years I'd never seen him cry
But the day that grandpa died,I realized

Unsinkable ships sink
Unbreakable walls break
Sometimes the things you think could never happen
Happens just like that
Unbendable steel bends
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate
The impossible

And then there was my junior year
Billy had a brand new car
It was late,the road was wet
I guess the curves was just too sharp
I walked away without a scratch
They brought the helicopter in
And Billy couldn't feel his legs
Said he'd never walk again
But Billy said he would and his mom and daddy prayed
And the day we graduated,he stood up to say:

Unsinkable ships sink
Unbreakable walls break
Sometimes the things you think could never happen
Happens just like that
Unbendable steel bends
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate
The impossible

So don't tell me that it's over
Don't give up on you and me
'Cos there's no such thing as hopeless
If you believe:

Unsinkable ships sink
Unbreakable walls break
Sometimes the things you think could never happen
Happens just like that
Unbendable steel bends
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate
The impossible

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IF YOU BELIEVE!

Saturday, November 26, 2005 11:34 AM CST

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT THANKSGIVING!
WE SPENT THANKSGIVNG AT MY FATHERS HOUSE IN FT.PIERCE
IT WAS SO NICE TO BE THERE WITH HIM . THIS WAS THE FIRST HOLIDAY WE HAVE
SPENT AT HIS HOUSE IN 20 YEARS . ALL THE HOLIDAYS
ARE ALWAYS AT MOMS OR JACKIS HOUSE SO THIS WAS A NICE
CHANGE . EVERYTHING WAS GREAT .MY DAD LOOKED GOOD AND
HEALTHY THE KIDS MADE HIM CRAZY..MIKE TOLD A DIRTY JOKE..OMG.. THEN WE WENT
TO CRYSTAL AND TERRYS FOR DINNER WITH HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY
IT WAS GREAT AND AGAIN ALL THE FIXINGS. I HAVE EATEN TONS OF GREEN BEAN
CASSAROLL.

ALL IS WELL IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS. THE BOYS ARE ALL
OUT FISHING AND SIEHARRA AND I ARE JUST HANGING AROUND
THE HOUSE WONDERING WHERE TO START PACKING OUR APARTMENT
SO WE CAN MOVE TO OUR NEW HOUSE!
MOVING IS NOT FUN.. WE HAVE YEARS OF STUFF..TOO MUCH STUFF!
TIM AND I ARE BOTH PACK RATS AND THEN WE KEEP ALL THE KIDS STUFF
TOO..SO THATS ALOT OF STUFF!! EVERYTHING SPECIAL IS SAVED ..YET EVERYTHING
SEEMS SPECIAL ENOUGH TO KEEP AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER .RIGHT?
WE KEPT EVERYTHING FROM WHEN MIKE WAS SICK..WE HAVE BAGS AND BAGS OF STUFFED
ANIMALS..WE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THE ONES WHO ARENT SPECIAL TO HIM AND STILL
HAVE BAGS AND BAGS.. HE DOESNT WANT TO PART WITH THE ONES FROM SPECIAL DATES OR
SPECIAL PEOPLE. THERE ALL SPECIAL!! OH GEESH
I FORGOT TO MENTION TWO STORAGE BAYS FILLED WITH STUFF..THANK GOD WE FOUND
A BIGGER PLACE TO PUT OUR STUFF!

MIKE IS DOING GREAT ..HE IS HEALTHY AND SEEMS TO BE GROWING NICE. HE IS GETTING
TALL. HIS NECK LOOKS GOOD.. THE SCAR IS A LITTLE MORE VISABLE THEN WE EXPECTED BUT
THE LUMP UNDERNEATH IS LOOKING BETTER. THE MOTRIN TWICE A DAY REDUCED THE SIZE BY
MORE THAN HALF. I GUESS THAT DR.BUFO REALLY KNOWS WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT!! SO WE
ARE STILL WATCHING THE LUMP FOR CHANGES OR MORE GROWTH. HE WILL HAVE SCANS AGAIN
IN FEBRUARY. RIGHT NOW HE IS JUST RUNNING WILD ..LIKE TY-MICHAEL WILL ALWAYS DO!

. HE IS STILL HIS NORMAL WIZE GUY SELF .. WHO REALLY WANTS TO BE 13.. HE HAS 14 MONTHS
TO GO.. BUT HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE ALL TEENS WICH IS MAKING HIM FEEL VERY LEFT OUT!
ITS NO FUN BEING "THE BABY". I WOULD NEVER WANT TO BE A TEEN AGAIN.. DO YOU WANNA EVEN REMEMBER
WHAT PUBERTY IS LIKE ..ZITS ,GIRLS,SCHOOL.. NO THANK YOU !! THEY SAY HIND SIGHT IS 20/20. THANK GOD
MOM WAS RIGHT!

WE ARE ABOUT TO REALLY START THE FUND RAISING FOR THE RELAY FOR LIFE EVENT HERE IN HOBE SOUND
I HAVE MADE THE COLORING PAGES AND WE ARE READY TO START THE COUNT OF LIVE BUTTERFLIES. I HOPE
WE SELL SEVERAL HUNDRED OF THEM. THERE SO BEAUTIFUL ..THIS YEARS EVENT IS GOING TO BE SO NICE
I WONT HAVE TO DRAG TY OUT KICKING AND SCREAMING LIKE IM STEALING HIM FROM HIS PARENTS LOL .. HE HAS
PLANED TO SING AS WELL .. HE USUALLY SINGS WITH THE BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB OR WITH THE SCHOOL CHOIR
ITS ALWAYS COOL HE WILL SING THEN DO THE SURVIVOR LAP. WE ARE GOING TO FIND OUT IF THE SOUTHFORK DANCERS
CAN DANCE WHILE HE SINGS THIS YEAR. SOUTHFORK HIGH SCHOOL IS ALWAYS VERY INVOLVED IN THE RELAY. IM CROSSING
MY FINGERS.. THE DANCERS WILL BE THERE ALREADY SO HOPEFULLY!

WE ARE ALSO STILL LOOKING FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO JOIN TY'S TEAM. ITS GOING TO BE LOTS OF FUN.. OUR TEAM NAME IS
"TY'S TERRORS..TERRORISING CANCER ONE LAP AT A TIME" PRETTY COOL HUH?!? WE ARE GOING TO DECORATE AS THE
HURRICANE FOOTBALL TEAM.. THIS YEARS THEM IS SPORTS.. TY'S NICKNAME ON THE TEAM WAS TY THE TERROR SO ITS ALL FITING TOGETHER NICE. THE EVEN IS NOT UNTIL MARCH BUT WE NEED TO START EARLY TO RAISE LOTS OF MONEY HIS STARTING GOAL IS AT 1000.00.

WELL I MUST GET BACK TO MY WORK .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING ..HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE.. PRAY FOR A CURE AND PRAY FOR ALL THE KIDS .

OXOXOXOXOX
AUDRA

Thursday, November 10, 2005 11:46 PM CST

TODAY IS A BIG DAY AROUND HERE AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT!
LOOKS LIKE WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!! GIVE PRAISE!! AND REJOICE IN OUR CHILDS LIFE!

TY-MICHAEL JUST CAME OUT OF BED AND SAID "TODAYS MY ANNIVERSARY " (WISPERED) "6 YEARS!" HE DID A LITTLE BOOTY DANCE AND SAID" I THOUGHT YOU FORGOT,THEN REALISED TOMMROW
IS 11-11-05 !"

I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IM A LITTLE SURPRISED THAT HE IS SO EXCITED OVER HIS DX DATE..MORE THAN HIS REMISSION DATE OR LAST CHEMO. HE IS THE FIGHTER THE CHAMPION SO HE CAN CELEBRATE WHAT EVER DATE HE WANTS! TODAY IS THAT DAY!!

SIX YEARS AGO OUR ENTIRE LIFE CHANGED.. SIX YEARS AGO AT THIS TIME TY WAS THROWING UP IN HIS BED.HE WAS LITTERALY DYING AND WE HAD NO CLUE. HE WAS BLEADING INTERNALLY. HE HAD BEEN IN A FIGHT AND WENT STRAIGHT TO BED WITHOUT EATING OR ANYTHING. WE HAD NO CLUE WHAT WAS GOING ON INSIDE HIS VERY LITTLE BODY. THE FIGHT BROKE HIS TUMOR CAUSING THE CANCER CELLS TO POUR INTO HIS ABDOMINAL CAVITY AND THANKFULLY CAUSED THE TUMOR TO PRESENT .RHABDOMYOSARCOMA WAS THE NEW WORD OF THE DAY...WHAT A HORRIBLE WORD!

I CANT STRESS ENOUGH TO ALWAYS TRUST YOUR MOTHERLY GUT FEELINGS.. THE ER DOCTOR SAID OVER AND OVER "OH TAKE HIM HOME HE IS SORE ,THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM." TY WOULD HAVE NOT LIVED THROUGH THE NIGHT HAD I TAKEN HIM HOME. I FOUGHT WITH THE DOCTORS AT WELLINGTON REGINAL HOSP. THEY CALLED THE SHERRIFF.. I TOLD THEM MY BABY WAS NOT RIGHT AND THEY WONT SCAN HIS BELLY TO LOOK INSIDE.. THANK GOD THIS WONDERFUL WOMAN SHERRIF TOLD THE DOCTOR TO GIVE HIM THE CT SCAN.. WITHEN 3 MINUETS HE HAD A TRAUMA TEAM ALL OVER HIM...GGRRR WE HAD BEEN THERE 15 HOURS. THEY HAD HIM IN AN AMBULANCE AND ON THE WAY TO ST.MARYS IN UNDER 10 MINUETS. AND BY THE TIME I FOLLOWED AND MADE IT TO ST MARYS THE DOCTOR ALREADY KNEW HE HAD CANCER.

WELLINGTON SAID HE HAD A HEMATOMA ON HIS BLADDER AND NEEDED EMERGENCY SURGERY...DR. BUFO SAID HE HAD A TUMOR.. TAKE IT OUT WAS ALL I COULD SAY.. WE WENT STRAIGHT TO ICU WHERE THEY TRIED TO STABLIZE HIM..FOUR DAYS LATER IT WAS A DO OR DIE SURGERY.HE WOULDNT STABLE OUT HE WAS GETTING WORSE EVERYDAY. HIS BELLY WAS GROWING MORE AND MORE EACH HOUR. WE KNEW ALREADY GOING INTO SURGERY THAT HE HAD CANCER BUT IT STILL HADNT REALLY HIT US THAT HE HAD CANCER...GOD HOW I HATE THAT WORD.

HE WASNT GIVEN MUCH HOPE .HIS DOCTOR SAID A FEW MORE WEEKS AND HE WOULD HAVE JUST PASSED AWAY WITH NO OTHER SYMPTOMS ( HE HAD NONE) . THEY TOLD US HOW MAJOR THE CANCER WAS HOW RARE, HOW SLIM HIS CHANCES WERE TO BEAT THE CANCER AND SURVIVE THE TREATMENT TO HOPEFULLY CURE HIM. SOMETIMES I REMEBER EVERY SECOND OF THOSE FIRST DAYS AND OTHER TIMES ITS JUST A BLUR OF EMOTION, HEART ACHE, FEAR AND LACK OF UNDERSTANDING. I REMBER JUST SITTING IN MY CAR AND CRYING .WONDERING WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE RHABDO..WHY WHY WHY AND WHY COULDNT IT BE SOMETHING EASY TO CURE.. WHY.. THERE WERE WAY TO MANY WHY'S!

I FELT SO MUCH GUILT BECAUSE I COULDNT LOOK AT HIM WITHOUT CRYING I WOULD HAVE TO GO OUT SIDE HIS DOOR AND LOOSE IT.. I DIDNT WANT HIM TO SEE ME SO SCARED AND UPSET.SO I CRIED IN THE SHOWER ,AND I CRIED IN THE CAR. TIM WAS GREAT WITH HIM HE COULDNT LEAVE HIS SIDE..WHEN HE DID HE COULDNT STOP CRYING SO WE BALANCED EACHOTHER TAKING TURNS CRYING FREAKING OUT AND LOOSING OUR MINDS.ITS ALMOST UNBELIVEABLE THAT WE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH SO MUCH..THAT OUR BABY BOY WENT THROUGH SO MUCH AND MOSTLY THAT OUR BABY BOY WAS BLESSED WITH HIS LIFE.

SIX MONTHS HAS TURNED INTO SIX YEARS AND STILL COUNTING.

IT WAS A ROUGH YEAR A YEAR OF CHEMO ,RADIATION,15 SURGERYS A WHOLE YEAR SPENT ON O-2-PEDS. TY NEVER WENT HOME HE ALWAYS HAD FEVER OR INFECTION,BLOOD FUNGUS OR SUPER LOW COUNTS. TOO LOW TO GO HOME.WHEN HE DID HE WOULD ALWAYS COME HOME ON A TUESDAY AND WAS RIGHT BACK THERE ON THURSDAY..HE WAS NEVER HOME MORE THAN A FEW DAYS AT A TIME.OUR FIRST STAY WITHOUT RELEASE AT ALL WAS FROM
11-11-99 TO 4-5-00.

WE HAVE MET SO MANY AWESOME PEOPLE. SO MANY AMAZING KIDS . WE HAVE LEARNED THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD THIS JOURNEY HAS SUCKED THAT WE WOULDNT TRADE ANY OF THE PEOPLE WE MET FELL IN LOVE WITH AND HELD ON TO ALONG THE WAY.WE MADE FRIENDS FOR LIFE, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO REALLY UNDERSTOOD US WERE THE CANCER KID PARENTS. OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO OR WHEN TO JUST SIT THERE AND NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING . NO ONE KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE TO WALK THE FLOOR OF O-2-PEDS. UNLESS YOUR ALREADY THERE. WE ACTUALLY FOUND PEACE THERE, WE FOUND COMFORT AND WE FOUND THE COURAGE TO FIGHT.

.WE LEARNED UNDERSTANDING AS TO HOW MANY CHILDREN SUFFER AND LOOSE.(NOT JUST ON THE ST JUDES TELETHON) WE HAVE SEEN COMPLEATE HEALINGS ( ON EARTH AND HEAVEN) AND WE HAVE SEEN SOME SPECIAL KIDS WHO WERE GIVING WEEKS TO LIVE ..KEEP ON LIVING THREE AND FOUR YEARS LATER TRUE FIGHTERS.WE HAVE FRIENDS WHOS CHILD HAS BEEN ON CHEMO FOR GOING ON SIX YEARS STRAIGHT.. ANYTHING TO FIGHT THE BEAST AND KEEP IT AT BAY. NEVER GOING TO GIVE UP THE FIGHT.. ALWAYS WAITING FOR THE COMPLETE CURE..A NEW DRUG A NEW WAY TO FIGHT!

WE HAVE ALSO LOST SO MANY KIDS. IT DOESNT GET ANY EASIER WHEN THEY GO. YOU WOULD THINK AFTER 6 YEARS WE WOULD BE IMUNE TO IT..BUT THATS SO FAR FROM THE TRUTH. I READ AND I CRY AND THEN I READ SOME MORE..

THE CARINGBRIDGE WEB RING IS GREAT.. AND HORRIBLE.. GREAT BECAUSE WE CAN FOLLOW SOME AWESOME CHILDREN AND THERE FAMILIES. HORRIBLE BECAUSE I GET SO ATTACHED TO THEM ALL. I LOVE THE WAY THERE PARENT (S) WRITE . SOME OF THEM REALLY GRAB HOLD OF YOU.
SCOTT FINESTONE IS SO FUNNY AND KEEPS US IN STICHES, KATHY CHARLTON IS SO INSPRATIONAL..TRACY SOLOMAN WOW SHE REALLY KEEPS EVERYONE CONNECTED.MICHELLE WELL ANYONE WHO READS HER PAGE KNOWS SHE IS SO DEDICATED SO POSITIVE AND REALLY LIVES EACH DAY TO THE FULLEST
THE PART THAT SUCKS HERE IS THERE ARE TOOOO MANY TO LIST. I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON...

I MISS MY PAPA ! MR.QUINTEN GODFREY WAS THE MOST AWESOME 10 YR OLD LITTLE BOYFRIEND A GIRL COULD HAVE. BRAIN CANCER TOOK HIM WAY BEFORE HIS TIME. HE WAS SO LOVING SO AWESOME SO PERFECT.
SEAN 16 BEAUTIFUL ,TALENTED, SMART HAD THE WORLD AT HIS FINGERTIPS. WE MISS YOU SOO MUCH.
JAKE G.,SETH B.JALEN K.,AUBREY H.,KATIE,CONNER H.,ROBERT C.,JASON A. AGAIN TOO MANY TO LIST. TOO MANY TEARS SHED WAY TO MANY BROKEN HEARTS.

GEESH THIS ISNT AT ALL WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS JOURNAL ENTRY BUT I FIGURE SINCE IM THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER READS THIS THAT IM JUST GOING TO WRITE HOW IM FEELING.THAT IS WHAT A JOURNAL IS FOR.

SO TONIGHT I SIT HERE AND THANK GOD FOR HEALING MY BABY BOY .FOR GIVING HIM A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE. FOR SHOWING US SO MANY OTHERS WHO HAVE FOUGHT AND LOST SHOWING US WHERE WE COULD BE RIGHT NOW. WE ARE BEYOND BLESSED!

THERE IS A REASON HE IS SUCH A LITTLE BUGGER... IM GUESSING ITS SO HE COULD FIGHT AND NOT GIVE UP FOR A SECOND.

I HAVE SO MANY MIXED UP EMOTIONS NOW THAT I HAVE LAID MY HEART HERE ON MIKES PAGE.
I PRAY THIS HORRIBLE BEAST NEVER COMES BACK INTO OUR LIVES. I PRAY THAT NO OTHER KIDS HAVE TO ENDURE THIS MONSTER..AND MOSTLY PRAY FOR A CURE FOR ALL OF THE KIDS. AND HEAL SO MANY BROKEN HEARTS.

KEEP THE FAITH
AUDRA

Tuesday, November 8, 2005 6:56 AM CST

NO PARENT SHOULD HAVE TO RELATE TO THIS SONG.
CANCER SUX!
WE HAVENT FOUND A SONG MORE BEATIFUL THAT REALLY FITS.. THANK YOU RASCAL FLATTS!!
NOW IF I COULD ONLY HEAR THE SONG AND NOT CRY MY HEART OUT WE WOULD BE DOING GOOD!

11-11-99 TY-MICHAEL WAS DIAGNOSED WITH RHABDOMYOSARCOMA

PLEASE KEEP ALL THE KIDS AND THERE FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS..WERE STILL SCARED TO DEATH

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
"Skin"
Sarabeth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well
Since the day that she fell
And the bruise, just won't go away
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
Flips through an old magazine
Till a the nurse with a smile
Stands at the door
And says will you please come with me

Sarabeth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white
Something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten it won't come back again
With the therapy were gonna try
It's just been approved
It's the strongest there is
I think we caught it in time

Sarabeth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Sarabeth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake
For someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom

For, just this morning right there on her pillow
Was the cruelest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny

Sarabeth closes her eyes
And she dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Its quarter to seven
That boys at the door
And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap
They all start to cry
Cause this mornin where his hair had been
Softly she touches just skin

And they go dancin
Around and around without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared

Monday, October 10, 2005 6:36 AM CDT

i am so very sorry for the lack of update ...

Ty's surgery went well.. he worried me to death that he was going to ruin the clean cut with the horseplaying wrestling and fence jumping he was doing just two days after surgery.. he is the kid you cant keep down.. thats as good as it is bad.. good beacause we know his additude and zest for life is what kept him going through his horrible year of treatment bad beacuse he is going to hurt himself so bad one day or everyday for that matter if he doesnt slow down and stop to think about what he could injur. he broke both legs in one year has had more stiches than any kid i have ever known and several cuncussions ... we call him our little crash test dummy.. please tell me this is something he will grow out of lol...

Ty's neck is healing nice the scar doesnt look like it will be too bad and as he gets older you probubly wont even notice it..dr bufo does a great job with the cosmetics and thats one of the many reasons we love him so much.

well part of the reason i havent update about the school dance is our little bugger kinda surprised us with what he did that night... he hasnt said exactly what happened with his date for the school dance.. but at the last minuete he decided he wasnt going to take this little girl and went to a totally differnt dance with a totallly different girl. we were beyond shocked. he did have a great time at the boys and girls club dance. also we did not go to this dance so there are no pictures that i know of. (parents not included!)

on the medical front...
ty has regrown the lump that was removed !?!?!? now i was under the impression that the doctor removed a salvitory gland and that they didnt grow back ... so i will be calling the surgen today to find out what could be going on. i am kinda worried (ok very) but im not going to freak out too much.. i just dont understand why that lump would come back and so soon.. its about half the size it was before surgery. in the exact same place . other than that the lymphnodes in his neck still are large up and down his neck on both sides.. they havent shrunk any so we may need a new antibiotic he has been on them since the first week of sept.

Ty is enjoying the build up to the relay for life. we are going to have a great time and should end up being a bunch of fun for everyone. we now have two differnt types of bracelets and the cancer sucks club pins. the butterfly drawing will go to the printing shop today and i should have a bunch of them very soon. Also i am working with the artist who created our butterfly and talking about doing a coloring book. that should be fun also. i will keep everyone updated on that .if you are intrested in purchasing something let me know through email. any help in the fundraising would be great.

again i am so so so sorry i took so long to update i will try to be better at this and not only update when im freaking out! thank you for following our little man

xoxoxo
Audra

Thursday, September 29, 2005 11:06 AM CDT

JUST A QUICK UPDATE..PROMISE I WILL GIVE A GOOD ONE LATER TONIGHT..

TY-MICHAEL IS CANCER FREE!!!!!! NO CANCER CELLS FOUND!

10-13-05 HE IS 5 YRS IN REMISSION...

WE ARE MONITORING HIS LYMPHNODES..

Friday, September 23, 2005 1:30 PM CDT

JUST A QUICK UPDATE!

TY-MICHAEL HAD SURGERY THIS MORNING TO REMOVE THE LUMP IN HIS NECK AS WELL AS SEVERAL LYMPH NODES.
THE SURGERY WENT GREAT THANK GOD.. DR.BUFO SAID HE DEFINATLEY DOES NOT HAVE RHABDOMYOSARCOMA AGAIN . HE SENT THE TISSUES OFF TO PATHOLOGY AND WE WILL HOPEFULLY KNOW MORE BY WEDNESDAY. DR.BUFO DID A GREAT JOB ON HIS NECK,HE IS SORE BUT THATS EXPECTED..BUT HE GAVE HIM DESOLVING STICHES AND STERI-STRIPS SO HE WONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT FOR THE DANCE NEXT FRIDAY. TY IS SLEEPING PRETTY HARD RIGHT NOW AND I DONT EXPECT HIM UP ANYTIME SOON I AM GOING TO NAP ALSO..WE ARE ALL EXHAUSTED.

SO PLEASE STILL PRAY THAT THE PATHOLOGY REPORTS ARE CLEAN. WE HAVE A SIGH OF RELIEF RIGHT NOW BUT OUR JOURNEY IS NOT OVER TILL WE HAVE THE ALL CLEAR FROM PATHOLOGY AND DR BUFO.

Monday, September 19, 2005 4:46 PM CDT

Usually no news is good news.. I wish that was the case. No news is parents refusing to accept anything other than good news.. and that is something I don’t have. All the blood work is clear all the throat cultures were clear, and he has had no improvement at all in at least 21 days. So now Ty-Michael will have surgery on Friday to remove several lymph nodes in his neck. They will then send them to pathology who will hopefully (were still praying) say that he does not have cancer. I flat out refuse to feel hopeless or loose it completely until I know for sure. But honestly im a mess.. he is sad that he has to have another surgery but knows his doctor is the best possible and we have total trust in him. Ty has only one request that he be healed enough to go to the school dance. He just wants to be a kid.

We are putting together a Relay For Life team.. were trying to come up with a good name.. we will accept any ideas.
We are going to sell some pretty blue bracelets as well as a butterfly release. The butterflies will be released at sunset they can be purchased for 10.00 each in memory of or in honor of your loved ones that have fought the battle and have won either with complete earthly healing or complete healing in heaven. We are all cancer survivors..we all fight this nasty beast.. we will all unite on may the 13th and 14th to celebrate, pray , cry and rejoice every lap brings awareness . every dollar brings us closer to a cure.

Ok so
Donations any amount accepted.
Butterflies 10.00
Bracelets 5.00
Luminairs 5.00 each with loved ones name decorated on the bags. Bags are lit after sunset. And stay lit all night long lighting the path giving us HOPE!

Please pray we get good news. There is a slim chance .. I wll take that slim chance and try not to go insane waiting.

Ty is the reason I relay.
We relay in memory and in honor of many children and there families .
Pa pa my little boyfriend passed july 01 medulablastoma we love and miss you so much baby.
Seth bunkleman ..passed away leukemia
Robert Charlton . passed away leukemia
Jason a. rabdo kid passed away last month
Amando jo .. fighting relapse at duke for BMT
Zach finestone.. kicking some major neuroblastoma butt.
Cameron also kicking butt.
Little joe.. relapsed
Conner hunley .. rhabdo passed away
Katia soloman .. leukemia .. a true inspiration .
Ce ce ..relapsed leukemia in remission again !!
Jake griffen .. passed brain tumor.
Aubry hall passed away in 2001
Erick Dakota recently passed rhabdomyosarcoma

Oh my there are so many to list and I am so mentally drained at the moment . I will come back later to add some more .. we just ask that you pray for earthly healing for all of our families and comfort for the familys who have lost the love of there lives to a beast they call cancer.

Please just pray pray pray ..
Thank you so much
Audra

Monday, September 12, 2005 10:05 PM CDT

THURSDAY 2:17 AM

Waiting is going to make me insane. I hate to wait for test results…grrrr

Mike is doing a little better today he was in a good mood wich was nice that also means he is his silly self. I wonder how he is really feeling? He never expresses fear ..he says he is aware and knows everything that’s going on or might be going on but he doesn’t seem to be very concerned. I am not sure how to express that.

I am a nut case.. I cant stand the wait. Don’t worry I hear the doctor will call you as soon as he knows something. I cant stand the wait and don’t worry game. Cause I am very worried.

We saw doctor singer on Tuesday and she is a great doctor but not Dr.Rodriguez . I am pretty sure she thinks im insane lol .. that’s ok im getting used to it now! She checked out the little man and sent us straight to st marys hospital for scans, after doing another blood draw and throat swab.they took blood and we wait . poor mike was a human pin cushion. It took six tries to get the i.v started and the poor nurse laura was brought to tears.. she has cared for mike many many times over the past 6 years and when she could not get the i.v started she was totally heartbroken. Michael was great told her he was ok and he wasn’t going to tell anyone .he didn’t want to ruin her reputation. She has never had to stick him more than once. Mike was very loveable .concidering what pressure he must be going through at the moment! We love you laura your always wonderful! Thank you cris for getting the iv going.. after a few more pokes. I think he may be dehydrated they would get a great blood return and as soon as they tried to flush is blew the vein.

Have I said how much I hate the wait?? Cancer Sucks! Thinking about CANCER SUCKS! Cancer even exesting sucks even more!

Wait wait that’s all I can do and pray and pray this is nothing . and pray the doctor calls before I loose my mind completely ..

I will update as soon as I know something

Love
Audra










We are pretty stressed out around here. I wish I had some answers as to what is happening with mike but I don’t. he is currently sleeping sitting up because the lumps in his neck are getting so big that they are starting to restrict his breathing. Ty can not lay flat because when he does they push so hard on his windpipe they “feel like there crushing it”. I so wish I knew what was going on inside his little body. He was just calling out to alex in his sleep. I went to his bedside and asked him if he was ok and he said no im not I need air. His body is really giving him a hard time. I am so beyond freaked out now. He told me he needs to see Doctor Gowda . His appointment is at 3:00pm tomorrow . defantley not soon enough for me.
The ped’s doctor called me tonight well around 5:45 to tell me all the test results show there is no reason he should have these lumps no infection in his body, no strep, no tonsillitis , no cat scratch disease his blood is clear is urine is clear and so are the throat cultures. And Ty finished his zithromax and has only gotten worse. He recommended we take him to dr.gowda the onc. As soon as we could. Well this appointment has been scheduled for the last nine months. Mike is really uncomfortable the lumps have multiplied and grown as well , he also has them in his mouth now one on his tounge and one on the gum line there all pretty visable now.
I am going to hang out here by his bed for awhile and make sure his breathing is alright.

I wanna know how this happened to us? What or who causes this crap?? And as a mother will I ever recover from the emotional trauma? I doubt it. Right now I have to be level headed for him. But I wanna scream “no no no this cant happen again” . I know it doesn’t sound like were looking positive side but we are trying. Were scared . he is hurting a lot and we don’t like that much.

Counting the hours..wishing doctor rodrigues was here. Praying this is just nothing or something other then what we dread the most.
I told tim tonight that if he lives to be a hundred I will still freak out when something like this happends.

Ok well something cool is going on. A friend make some really cool bracelets and she came into the office and showed me what she had been making and then I showed her the bracelet and necklace that I have with the gold ribbon and how September is childhood cancer awareness month . well she went home and imeadiatly started to make bracelets and has made about thirty so far and has them all sold. I asked her how much do I owe you for your time and the bracelets and she said nothing at all that she wants to help raise funds for the research . we are planning on having a team this year at the relay and we are planning on selling them . I think its going to be very cool.
It is ty-michaels idea to have a team this year.

Well I have to go to bed .. I will update as soon as I know something. Good or bad. Pray for good news.

Love to all
Audra

Tuesday, September 6, 2005 8:14 PM CDT

Hello,
Sorry it’s been so long since my last update.. I guess you could say life seems to be sailing by at warp speed!
I come here now because Ty just had to be his normal self and less than 10 days away from his next clinic visit which has been scheduled for 9 months.. He has some really bad lumps on his neck he has several small lumps on the right side and one huge one on the left. The one on the left I am hoping is a swollen gland or something like that . The small ones I am very scared of. They feel like little balls there are maybe five of them. He told me tonight when he showed me that he had the small lumps for a couple weeks and he didn’t seem concerned till this huge lump starting causing him trouble swallowing and is protruding out where you can see it. He said he knew he had the smaller ones ..one or two..Threre are at least five. I am really trying hard not to freak out. Tim is trying to stay calm about it but you can see the fear all over his face. Mike well he hurts he’s worried he’s lying in bed watching TV with dad . I will make a clinic appointment right away and at least call Dr.G. Like I said he has a scheduled clinic visit on the 13th. His annual check up at five years post treatment.
Please let this not be cancer or anything else major. I am so scared . CANCER SUCKS!!
I will update as soon as I know anything which I hope is real soon.

Trying to breathe…

Audra

Thursday, August 4, 2005 7:18 PM CDT

TY-MICHAEL CARL SCHMIDT IS CANCER FREE!!
5 YEAR SCANS ALL CLEAR!

Our day was long and full of surprises. Ty's scans started at 9 am we had to be at St.Marys for 8:15..yuck..

Ty is pretty well known around here! lol .. im sure you can understand with his personality how he can make friends everywhere he goes. Add being a walking miracle and yes he is kinda popular.. I didn't want him to be popular among the medical professionals out there..but whatever. He has certin doctors or nurses that he insists on having . due to that person gives him the best care. Ty can be critical of doctors .(he learned alot)..sooo on to scans!
Ty had to drink some yucky gatoraide with contrast and then get his I.V. thats never fun but his tech Bill has never had to stick him more than once, never in 6 years!! . Ty-Michael was telling him how great he was and how greatful he is that Bill has always been so good at putting in his I.V. in .. well that vein blew during the saline flush..Poor Bill.. he had to start a second line. Ty didn't complaine at all. Actually he didn't even flinch or curl his face up! Bill is still the best in his book.!!
He did great and was in and out of the machine in about 45 mins..ready for food!!

Our next appointment was for Alex and Ty.. Dr.Gowda the peds. gave him his shots for school and did the routine physical.. Ty weighs 82 lbs and is 4ft 10" he has to see an eye doctor on monday for his vision and headaches and now he will need to also see a hearing specialist .The doctor said he doesnt register tones. we are waiting for the referal for that now. Alex now 13 weighs 80 1/2 lbs and 4 ft 11" he had a great physical and the doctor expects a huge growth spurt for him real soon .

Next stop a quick lunch and then off to the orthopedic doctor Dr.Mo (maureen) a great doctor.
well i guess i should begin and say that two weeks ago he injured his left ankle at Judo. I spent friday looking for a doctor to scan his leg and find out if he should leave for camp fiesta in the morning.. wow we ran like crazy finally got a scan (from an imaging center we have never been too before) wich read the bone was not broken there was alot of fluid on the ankle re-scan in a week..and a A-OK from the doctor to go to camp..on crutches!! So he did go to camp till sunday ..when he got him home we find he had been walking around with no crutches since wednesday ..his whole foot was black and blue but he wasnt complaining any. so anyway... he had another scan done the scan showed his ankle was clearly broken at the growth plate.. i feel like the worst parent in the world.. OMG he walked around on that leg for almost two weeks. He has a really cute blue cast that matches his school color.

CAMP FIESTA!!!!!!!

Thank you so much to everyone there Leigh Kline and Allie you guys are the best. Ty had a great time at camp. he did everything you could think of including disney and islands of adventure (he loves the roller coasters!). They held a mock wedding for two of the counslers at the camp..seems they were patients and campers for several years and they fell in love. both are cancer survivors I personally think its awesome. Ty said the wedding was like a comedy lol that they made silly vows to share and all the kids participated. ?? lol?? I dont know how they can do so much to beable to put so much time love money effort into sending 55 kids who kicked some major cancer butt away to camp! All i know is everyones heart in involved with this camp..everyone gives there all!
Ty also met the Dolphin Cheerleaders!! yup he also made the front page of the broward news ..ty and the cheerleader..go figure.. little casanova! I wish I could list everything they did over the week but there was just so much!

Alex also went on a vacation.. He went to Ohio with his dad. This was his first trip away from home and tim and i were not used to being totally alone for a week! lol.. Alex did tons of stuff on his vacation also.. he went to the football hall of fame.. that must have been really cool. he went to two baseball games where he caught a ball and had it autographed! he asked the team to autograph a ball for his brother also.. that was sweet!
Alex finally met his fathers side of the family his aunt debbie and uncle pat ..cousins and even a 1 day old baby 2nd cousin..i was really glad they had the time together. I think it was really good for both of them. They were both bummed that school starts on the 8th here and he wasn't able to stay in Ohio till Dan Marino was inducted into the Football Hall of Fame! but mom said school comes first .. (meanie)

Well i guess that all for us.. getting ready for school..and lifes next adventure!

************************************************************************************************************
PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR FRIENDS AND ALL THE KIDS OUT THERE FIGHTING!
PRAY FOR CLEAR SCANS FOR ZACH AND CAM.
PRAY FOR HEALING FOR ALL THE CHILDREN AND STRENGTH FOR THERE FAMILYS. ALTHOUGH OUR CHILD IS HEALTHY WE HAVE WALKED THE SAME STEPS AND WE KNOW AND FEEL THE PAIN, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE,NEVER SAY NEVER MIRACLES DO HAPPEN EVERYDAY!

Sunday, July 17, 2005 10:18 PM CDT

**CHECK OUT MY THREE FAVORITE CANCER SURVIVORS!**

********************************************************************************

TY-MICHAEL HAS SCANS IN THE MORNING.
HE HAS A TOTAL OF FOUR DR APOINTMENTS

9 AM SCANS
11:30 AM WITH GOWDA
1:30 WITH BAYHAM (BONE DR)
4:15 WITH HALIAM NEUROLOGIST

PLEASE PRAY ALL IS WELL WITH OUR LITTLE MAN

********************************************************************************
ALL IS GREAT IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS..
ALEX MADE IT TO OHIO FINE AND IS ENJOYING HIS TRIP SO FAR
FUNNY THING WAS WHEN HE GOT THERE LAST NIGHT HE WAS OFF TO
THE RELAY FOR LIFE ..IN OHIO..WITH HIS AUNT DEBBIE.. I THINK THEY
WERE BOTH EXCITED THAT EACHOTHER WAS INVOLVED WITH THE RELAY
WHAT A GREAT WAY FOR THEM TO START THERE RELATIONSHIP. ALEX IS ALWAYS IN
THE BACK GROUND OF MIKES CANCER FIGHT BUT HE DOES EVERY RELAY AND TRYS
TO SUPPORT THE RELAY ANY WAY POSSIBLE FOR A 13 YR OLD! THIS
IS THE FIRST TIME ALEX HAS GONE TO MEET HIS FATHERS SIDE OF THE
FAMILY. HE IS VERY EXCITED.

TODAY WAS A GREAT DAY...WE HAD DINNER TONIGHT WITH OUR FRIENDS THE
FINESTONES AND TOM ANDERSON AND HIS FRIEND, WE WENT TO P.F CHANGS IN BOCA
RATON AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD,I THINK THE CONVERSATION AND THE VISIT WAS
WAY BETTER THAN THE FOOD. TOM WAS THE BOYS CAMP COUNSLER AT BOGGY
CREEK CAMP NOVEMBER OF 2000 AND JANUARY 2001. THE FAMILY WEEKENDS WERE
WONDERFUL FOR BONDING..WE HAD A WONDERFUL DINNER TIME WAS TOO SHORT..I
WISH WE HAD A FULL WEEK TO ALL JUST SIT AROUND AND TALK AND CATCH UP WITH
LIFE. WE ARE VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE THE TIME SPENT WITH OUR FRIENDS.

MIKE IS ABOUT TO GO TO CAMP... I REALLY FEEL FOR THE COUNSLERS LOL .. HE SAYS
HE WILL BE ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOR .. I HOPE SO CAUSE HE REALLY IS A HANDFUL ..HE
IS SO FUNNY AND SO CRAZY MOST PEOPLE CANT HELP BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM..
THEN THE REAL "TY THE TERROR" COMES OUT ..HE HE ..TY WILL ALSO BE IN THE
BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB TALENT SHOW ON FRIDAY.. HE SAID HE IS SINGING ..IM NOT
SURE WHAT YET. LAST YEAR HE WON FIRST PLACE WITH HIS "TRUCKER TY" SKIT
THAT HE LEARNED AT BOGGY CREEK.. LOOK OUT WORLD HERE COMES MIKE!

LOOK OUT WORLD THIS BOY HAS PLANS FOR HIS LIFE! TY STARTED HIS OWN
BUSINESS.. TY'S LAWN SERVICE. HE WENT TO SUMMER CAMP AND HAD HIS CARDS
MADE UP PUT HIS HOUSE NUMBER AND HIS EMAIL ADDRESS ON THE CARS AND THEN
HE WENT OUT AND HANDED OUT THE CARDS.. WHAT A Q-T .. HE IS SMART THIS BOY..
HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS THATS FOR SURE. $$$$$$$ LOL AT LEAST HE IS DOING
EVERYTHING HE CAN IN LIFE AND HE DEFINATLY HAS THE WILL TO ACOMPLISH
ANYTHING HE PUTS HIS MIND TO!

WELL ITS LATE AND I MUST RUSH OFF TO BED..
WE LOVE AND MISS EVERYONE!

AUDRA

** CHECK OUT THE NEW PICTURES**

Friday, July 8, 2005 10:13 PM CDT

SUMMER IS IN FULL SWING AROUND HERE THE BOYS ARE INVOLVED IN THE BOYS AND GIRLS CLUB AND GO ON MANY FIELD TRIPS DURING THE WEEK SO THEE STAYING BUISY. NOT INCLUDING THE MANY MANY GIRLS THAT ARE ALWAYS CALLING AND NOW ROLLER SKATEING ON FRIDAY NIGHTS ...HHMMM
TY LEAVES FOR CAMP ON THE 23RD. WE ARE ALL EXCITED HE LOVES GOING AWAY TO CAMP AND HER PERSONALITY REALLY PAYS OFF WHEN HE IS IN A GROUP SETTING LIKE THIS ..MAINLY BECAUSE HE IS A CLOWN, A STORY TELLER A LITTLE INDIAN BRAVE.HE ENTERS ALL THE TALENT SHOWS OR COMEDY ACTS..HE IS A TREASURE!

HE STILL HAS THE MIGRANES BUT NO SEIZURES LATELY THANK GOD. HIS DOCTOR GAVE HIM CLONIDINE TO STOP SOME OF THE FACIAL TICKS AND HOPEFULLY PREVENT ANY MORE SEIZURES. I HATE THAT THERE IS "NO KNOWN REASON" I ALWAYS HAVE TO RESEARCH EVERYTHING.
HE IS STILL DOING THE JUDO AND I WISH I COULD FIGHT HIM ABOUT IT BUT REALLY TY WILL NOT EVEN CONSIDER SLOWING DOWN NEVER MIND STOPPING JUDO ALL TOGETHER.N (QUIT OR GIVE UP DO NOT EXHIST IN HIS LIFE! )THEN OF COURSE ADD THE FACT THAT THE BOY CANT GO A DAY WITHOUT A INJURY OF SOME SORT.

LAST NIGHT HE GOT A BIG EGG ON HIS FACE ..BETWEEN HIS EYES WHERE SOME GIRL THREW A ROCK AND HIT HIM PRETTY DARN HARD IM GUESSING LOL A 1/2 INCH IN EITHER DIRECTION HE WOULDNT HAVE AN EYE TODAY.

SUMMER PLANS ARE NOW GOING TO INCLUDE A WEEK LONG VISIT FROM MISS ASHLEY MY BABY DUCK I GUESS SHE MIGHT BE GETTING TO OLD TO BE A BABY DUCK BUT SHE WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY DUCK! SHE IS GOING TO BE 18 IN SEPTEMBER OH MY.. I CAN NOT EVEN FATHOM HER BEING A GROWN WOMAN,IM PRETTY SURE SHE IS ABSOLUTLY BEAUTIFUL AND I PLAN ON USING MY CAMERA ALOT THAT WEEK. I CANT WAIT TO TAKE PICTURES OF HER AND HER SIBLINGS AND ME AND ME MA LOL YEAH IM A LITTLE EXCITED.I STILL PICTURE ALL THE KIS AS LITTLE KIDS.. TEENAGERS ARE TOO OVERWHEMING SO WE WILL KEEP THEM AROUND 4 YRS OLD FOREVER LOL I WISH.,

WELL I GUESS THAT IS ALL FOR TODAY ITS LATE IM EXHAUSTED..AND I HAVE TO WORK EARLY

LOVE HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL .
THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO SIGN TY'S GUEST BOOK AND HE ALSO REQUESTED I GIVE OUT HIS PERSONAL EMAIL
TYMICHAEL2294@HOTMAIL.COM
DROP HIM A LINE I KNOW HE WOULD LOVE IT!

XOXOXOX
AUDRA

Tuesday, June 14, 2005 12:32 AM CDT

Last night I wrote a long update.. filled with emotion and information about Ty-Michael then the all mighty computer dumper came and stole my entry away ggrrrr!

So the MRI shows no tumor lesions or abnormal activity. This is great however we still have no idea what is wrong with him. Mom says its just a normal event to have these migranes and if it were any other person I might accept that answer. Anyway we go back to see Dr.Halim tomorrow at 4:00 he is the neuroligist . I hate bouncing back and forth with these doctors but someone has to figure him out.

Last night when I told Ty that his MRI was an all clear he was so crazy funny and running around like a wild man. I think he was really scared of what they would find in that hard head of his. I don’t think I have seen him so silly in a very long time. It really was nice to see. At the same time to know that he had been so distressed for days on end was heartbreaking.

Ty’s judo competition is on Saturday, the doctor says he is not to fight but Ty wont even hear of that. He is signed up and ready to fight. It makes me very unhappy that dad is going to let him fight , in there words were gunna let him live! SO that’s what were going to do. I will get to see the boys fight for the first time Saturday since I don’t approve of the judo I don’t get to go watch practice dad says im too neurotic !! lol I wonder why!

Well I will update again soon .. as soon as I know whats happening with Ty. We should know more by Thursday

Thank you for checking in on us and the prayers are so welcome.

love ya
Audra

Friday, June 10, 2005 10:10 AM CDT

Sorry it has been so long since my last update. Usually no news is good news however I still am not sure that’s the case right now.
Right now I am still waiting for test results. Ty has been having some issues … he has had several seizures and the migrane headaches are getting worse daily. The headaches get so bad that he is vomiting and extremely light sensitive. We went to the neurologist and he had an EEG done that was inconclusive so Dr. Singer sent us for the MRI of the brain.
We are praying its just left over concussion from all the head injuries he has taken in football judo and just being Ty-Michael! He has had several. I am personally a wreck waiting to hear that Ty is fine.

I really think CANCER SUCKS!

So this being Ty ’s page I probably shouldn’t vent about others but I have no choice today and my brain is on mental overload.

Today as I watched Good Morning America there was a story that told of a 12 year old girl with Leukemia whose parents have decided that they do not want there child to have the radiation. For health reasons there choice is they want to try other options and then there religious preference says they do not allow the blood transfusions except from direct family members (family choice) however they have allowed other donors blood. Now the real kicker here is that the state has decided since the parents will not allow the radiation that they took this 12 year girl and her three siblings away from there parents. So now a child and family who is already going through hell is going through even more by being separated during the worst times of there life. Now what right the does the government have to tell a parent how to treat there child with chemo radiation or surgery? What right does the government have to determine when we stop treatment or try other option’s. When the doctors say were sorry there is nothing left to do, no other options, treasure your last few weeks or months do they take your child when you find a optional drug such as protocel a drug/herb that has proven to give so many extra time. We have a friend , there child relapsed and the doctors said he had a few months max it has been over three years since that horrible day in January 2001. again my question is .. does the state or government DCF or anyone have the right to determine what we as parents should do to fight for our children ? I think not.
Im sorry to be so riled up about this but I just couldn’t believe that DCF took the little girl away from her parents and called it neglect. Anyone who walked this road knows there are NO right choices. And none of the choices we make should be held against us this is not a normal event in child rearing. CANCER is not a normal event in a childs life. I know that we made some choices in Ty-Michaels treatment that we will regret forever BUT we had no choice.
I asked Ty this morning how he felt about the state taking the girl away because the parents didn’t want her to have radiation. He told me that the radiation for him wasn’t as bad as for most people even with the huge burn he had on his lower back that was black as coal and he treasured that time only because he got to see his best friend Quinten everyday. Papa AKA Quinten did not win his battle with a brain tumor ..well he didn’t win here on earth.

Thanks for always being here i will update with results
Audra

Saturday, April 30, 2005 1:04 AM CDT

HELLO,
TONIGHT WAS THE 2ND HOBE SOUND RELAY FOR LIFE. I HAVE TO SAY THIS YEAR WAS AWESOME..WHAT A GREAT TURNOUT . THERE WERE MANY SURVIVORS THERE LATE INTO THE NIGHT..TY AND I WERE THERE LATE ALSO... THE RELAY FOR LIFE IS ALWAYS AN EMOTIONAL NIGHT.. THE SURVIVOR LAP IS AWESOME THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE JOINED TOGETHER AS A FAMILY BROUGHT TOGETHER BY A BEAST WHO TRYS TO RIP OUR WORLDS APPART. YES THERE IS A BOND THERE. AS TY LEAD THE SURVIVOR LAP TEARS OF JOY RAN DOWN MY FACE I WAS SO HAPPY AND SO DUH AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME I FELT THE DEEP GRIEF OF ALL THAT HAS TRANSPIRED AND AS I LOOKED AROUND AT ALL THE PURPLE SHIRTS MY HEART SANK. WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE LIFE BECAME ON
11-11-99

#1 CANCER SUCKS!


OPENING CEREMONY WAS VERY MOVING AND I WOULD EVEN SAY EXCITING. THE HOBE SOUND ELEMENTRY SANG A FEW AWESOME SONGS. THE SOUTH FORK DANCE TEAM DID A DANCE WITH THE DRILL TEAM.. YOU CAN TELL THEY WORK REALLY HARD.THE MUSIC THE EMOTIONS! THERE WAS OZ RECORDS THERE WICH IS ALOT OF TEEN POP SINGERS ON THE RISE AND THEY WERE ALL GREAT AND THEN OF COURSE THE SURVIVOR STORY..SWEET SUCCESS!

MICHAEL DID EVERYTHING ALL NIGHT LONG. HE WAS AS USUAL HIS OUTGOING SELF.. YEAH I DONT THINK THERE IS AN OUNCE OF SHY IN THAT CHILD! HE WAS THE BOUNCE POLICE HE MADE SURE THE LITTLE KIDS MADE IT UP THE BOUNCY SLIDE WITHOUT GETTING TRAMPLED BY ALL THE BIG KIDS MADE SURE THEY ENTERED AND EXITED THE BOUNCY SLIDE CORRECTLY LOL WHY I DUNNO.. I WAS TRYING TO GET HIM TO STOP BEING SO HELPFUL BUT THERE WAS NO CHANCE HE IS SO GIVING.
THEN TY FOUND THE BLACK JACK TABLE.. HE WON 10 THOUSAND DOLLARS AND RAN THE TABLE MOST OF THE NIGHT ..HE STARTED WITH 2 DOLLARS.. TOO BAD IT WASNT REAL MONEY LOL .. BUT HE WAS GOING TO WIN THE TOURNAMENT AND BRING HIS DAD HOME A SET OF GLASSES.. DRINK GLASSES WITH THE FACE CARDS ON THEM..PRETTY COOL VERY COOL THAT HE WAS SO INTO WINNING FOR DAD AND REALLY BAD CAUSE HE WOULD HAVE PLAYED ALL NIGHT..HE WANTS TO GO TO VEGAS NOW I TOLD HIM HE HAS TO WAIT AND HE JUST SAID NAH IM GOING! THE OTHER GUYS AT THE TABLE WERE STUNNED AND WANTED HIM TO GO TO VEGAS WITH THEM LOL AS A LUCKY CHARM!

AT SUNSET THE LIGHTS WENT OUT AND THE CANDLES BEGAN TO BURN.. EACH CANDLE REFLECTS A LIFE LOST OR TOUCHED BY CANCER A SURVIOR A HERO WHO FOUGHT THE BATTLE AND LOST . WE LIT MANY CANDLES THIS YEAR WE HAVE LOST AND LOVED SO MANY IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS + .. THERE WAS APOEM READ OH MY IT WAS INCREADABLE EVERYONE WAS IN TEARS ..THE WORD HOPE WAS LIT UP ON THE FIELD AGAIN AWESOME . I WISH EVERYONE COULD HAVE BEEN THERE TONIGHT .. ITS A STRANGE FEELING INSIDE WHEN YOU SEE THE BONDING THE LOVE THE LOSS ALL AT THE SAME TIME.. I THINK ITS CALLED EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD LOL BUT IT WAS AN INCREDABLE NIGHT.

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A TEAM NEXT YEAR.. TY IS INSISTING ITS GOING TO BE TEAM TY-MICHAEL.. HE IS PLANNING THE WHOLE THING OUT..CUTE HUH!

WELL I MUST FIND MY BED SO I CAN WORK TOMMROW.. TY MICHAEL WILL BE HOME TO TAKE CARE OF TIM WHILE I WORK I AM GLAD TIM WONT BE HOME ALONE ALL DAY AGAIN. HE IS HEALING BUT STILL IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN. PRAY HIS SHOULDER HEALS QUICKLY.

LOVE TO EVERYONE
AUDRA

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 7:14 PM CDT

HELLO AND HAPPY TUESDAY!
ALL SEEMS ALRIGHT HERE ON THE HOME FRONT. THE BOYS ARE DOING GREAT THE "THREE" OF THEM WENT AWAY FOR THE WEEKND TO DO A BENIFIT FOR CONNER MORAN. IM SURE I HAVE MENTIONED THERE CHILDHOOD CANCER FOUNDATION AT LEAST A FEW TIMES HERE .. LOL

WELL THE BOYS REALLY HAD A GREAT TIME. THE BASS TOURNAMNET RAISED A LOT OF MONEY FOR CONNER MORAN WICH IS AWESOME. THIS GROUP OF AWESOME PEOPLE HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR US.. WE CAN START WITH THE WEEK MIKE WAS DIAGNOSED THEY CAME TO US WITH CHILD LIFE SPECIALEST A BASKET OF GOODIES THAT YOU MAY NEED WHILE IN THE HOSPITAL AND A VERY SPECIAL BEAR THAT HAS A CONNER MORAN T-SHIRT ON IT. ITS SO VERY CUTE AND VERY VERY SPECIAL TO US. ITS ONE OF THOSE THAT HAVE BEEN PUT INTO THE BOX OF TREASURE.

AS I SIT HERE AND THINK OF ALL THE THINGS TERI HAS HELPED US WITH I AM OVERWHELMED. SHE HAS GONE SO FAR AND ABOVE WHAT WE EVER EXPECTED. THEY HELPED US WITH BILLS AND FINANCIAL HELP THEY HAVE A FOOD PANTRY THAT WAS DEFINATLY A BIG HELP WHEN TIM NOR I WERE ABLE TO WORK ..WE COULDNT LEAVE TY.. TERI HAS JUGGLED SOME CAR PAYMENTS FOR US AS WELL AS MAKING THE BILL COLLECTORS UNDERSTAND THAT OUR CHILD WAS VERY ILL AND WE COULD NOT DEAL WITH THE STRESS OF COLLECTIONS AND WOULD DO OUR BEST AND WHEN WE COULDNT SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE TO BACK US. THEN THE CHILD LIFE TEAM WOW THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THE EMOTIONAL ASPECT OF CHILDHOOD CANCER AND HOW IT EFFECTS US. THEY PLAY WITH THE KIDS BRING THEM TOYS ETC. AND PLAY WITH THEM AT THERE LEVEL..HELPING A 5 YEAR OLD UNDERSTAND WHAT CANCER IS WAS NOT AN EASY TASK FOR US AS PARENTS ESPECIALLY WE DIDNT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENED TO OUR SON.WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR TY TO RETURN TO SCHOOL THEY DID A RE-ENTRY WICH MEANS MISS KELLY WHO WE MISS BUNCHES CAME TO SCHOOL AND HELPED THE OTHER KIDS IN 1ST GRADE TO UNDERSTAND WHY TY LOOKED DIFFERENT WHY HE HAD NO HAIR AND HELPED THE OTHER PARENTS REALISE HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS TO LET THE SCHOOL KNOW ABOUT CHICKEN POX OR ANY OTHER MAJOR INFECTIONS OR ILLNESSES THAT COULD BE GIVEN TO TY. AS ALL OF THESE COULD BE LIFE THREATNING.

THERE ARE ALOT OF OTHER VERY IMPORTANT THINGS THEY DO FOR US FAMILYS. THEY ALLOW US TO HAVE FUN TO GET TOGETHER LAUGH CRY LAUGH SOME MORE AND FIND COMFORT IN EACH OTHER AS NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT WERE LIVEING THROUGH BETTER THAN ANOTHER FAMILY FIGHTING THE BEAST. SO WE DO OUTINGS SEVERAL TIMES A YEAR ..MY FAVORITE IS THE RAPIDS.. A VERY EXPENSIVE DAY . WE GO TO THE WATER PARK AND JUST PLAY ALL DAY LONG . PLAYING TAKES ON A NEW MEANING ONCE YOU HEAR YOUR CHILD IS SOOO VERY SICK. WE ALSO GO TO FOOTBALL GAMES,LION COUNTRY SAFARI AND MANY FAMILY DINNERS .. ALL I CAN SAY IS I KNOW THAT WITHOUT THE LOVE SHARED WE WOULD HAVE HAD A MUCH HARDER FIGHT EMOTIONALLY .
AND I CAN NEVER THANK TERI ENOUGH. WE LOVE YOU!

Thursday, March 24, 2005 11:43 PM CST

HELLO,
WELL THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS A BLAST. SATURDAY NIGHT WAS THE 5TH ANNUAL F.A.U DANCE MARATHON. WE HAVE ATTENDED EACH YEAR AND WE SHARE OUR STORY WITH THE COLLAGE KIDS SO THEY CAN PUT A FACE BEHIND ALL THERE HARD WORK IN FUND RASING AND STAMINA TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND DANCE AND PLAY SILLY GAMES.WE HOPE TO ATTEND THIS EVENT FOR YEARS TO COME UNTIL TY-MICHAEL IS A STUDENT THERE!! I HAVE TO TELL YOU ITS VERY INSPIRATIONAL TO SEE SO MANY YOUNG ADULTS GIVING UP THERE NIGHT OF PARTYS GIRLFRIENDS CERTAINLY THERE IS PLENTY TO DO FOR SPRING BREAK ON FAU CAMPUS!

SO AS I SAID WE PLAYED ALOT OF SILLY GAMES..SCOTT FINESTONE WAS THERE SO YOU KNOW WE HAD TO BE SILLY ;) ELBOW TAG WAS A HUGE HIT THIS YEAR AS WAS PROTECTIVE DODGE BALL..AND AGAIN I HAVE TO SAY THAT ZACHARY IS THE UNDEFEATED HULA HOOP CHAMPION.. HE HAS SOME GOOD COMPETION THIS YEAR ..A CUTE BLONDE GIRL BUT THAT DIDNT DISTRACT HIM FROM HOLDING STRONG TO HIS TITLE.. IT REALLY IS AWESOME TO WACH.. IM NOT SURE ZACH EVEN MOVES HIS BODY ,,ALL I CAN SAY IS YA GOTTA SEE IT!

AROUND 3 AM THEY SCHEDUAL SHOWED THAT THE DANCERS WERE GOING TO HAVE A MALE BEAUTY CONTEST.. UH HUM.. FOUR OF THE GUY DANCERS AND OF COURSE TY-MICHAEL DRESSED IN DRAG I SWEAR I HAVE THE PICTURES TO PROVE IT..AND THEY HAD THERE BEAUTY CONTEST.. THE CONTEST ALSO CONSISTED OF A TALENT..WELL TY'S PRETTY SMART SO HE PICKED HIS TALENT TO IMPRESS THE FRAT BROTHERS WELL HE BELCHED THE A.B.C'S
OH MY I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO JUST DROP DEAD ON THE FLOOR THE KIDS LOVED HIM AND SAID HE WAS READY TO START SCHOOL .. I GUESS BELCHING IS A BIG THING IN COLLAGE.WHATEVER IT IS WE HAD A BLAST AND LOVED BEING THERE. THANK YOU FAU AND CMN..

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 7:43 PM CST

HELLO ,
SORRY I HAVENT GIVEN A REAL UPDATE IN AWHILE. ALL IS WELL AROUND HERE ...ITS BEEN ATENSE WEEK.. TY-MICHAEL HAD HIS ONCOLOGY APOINTMENT TODAY. THE DR WHO SAW HIM IS VERY GOOD BUT SHE ISNT WHO I AM USED TO..THE MAJOR TRUST ISSUE..DR.HECTOR RODRIGUEZ TOOK CARE OF MY BABY BOY WITH THE HELP OF DOCTOR GOWDA SO I FEEL LIKE ANYONE ELSE JUST DOESNT KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT TY AND HIS BATTLE..

TAKE TODAY FOR INSTANCE... TY HAS BEEN HAVING SOME MAJOR HEADACHES AT NIGHT AS WELL AS SOME VISION PROBLEMS. WE TOLD THE DOCTOR AND SHE SAID "WELL WE CAN DO SCANS!" TY IS NOT UP FOR SCANS TILL AUGUST UNLESS HE HAS SOMETHING COME UP. (YES THIS IS SOMETHING THAT CAME UP) HOWEVER EVERYTIME WE SCAN HIM WE GIVE HIM LARGE DOSES OF RADIATION..RHABDO IS A RADIATION TRIGGER CANCER AND EVERYTIME YOU SCAN YOU INCREASE THE RISK OF CAUSEING HIM TO GET LEUKEMIA.. SO THERE IS A MAJOR CATCH 22.. THIS SUX AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED..ANY WAY I TOLD THE DOCTOR THAT DR.GOWDA WOULD NOT APPROVE OF SCANS AGAIN SO SOON SO SHE GOT AGRAVATED WITH ME AND SAID TO JUST GO SEE A DIFFERENT DR. PEDS OR NEUROLOGIST AND EYE DOCTORS. THATS WHAT I PLANNED BUT THERE WAS NO NEED TO ACT LIKE THAT.. THEN TO TOP IT OFF SHE DIDNT EVEN LOOK AT TY-MICHAELS BELLY SHE DIDNT FEEL UNDER HIS ARMS CHECK HIS GROIN AREA ..NONE OF IT...I WANTED TO SCREAM AT HER THAT HE HAD RHABDO YOU CANT LEAVE THIS AREA UNCHECKED.. BUT SOMETHING INSIDE TOLD ME HE IS OK I SHOULDNT WORRY AND THAT WE CAN WAIT TILL HIS NORMAL SCANS IN AUGUST WITHOUT PANIC.. IM GUESSING THATS THE LITTLE ANGEL THAT SITS ON MY SHOULDER SOMETIMES.
THE ONE WHO ALWAYS GIVES THE BEST CALMING ADVICE LOL WHATEVER THAT IS!

SO WE HAVE HAD SOME OTHER INTRESTING ADVENTURES AROUND HERE. LAST WEEKEND I DID A GIRLS ONLY WEEKEND TO BIKE WEEK IN DAYTONA BEACH ..WELL THE GIRLS WERE MY MOTHER MY AUNT MY SISTER AND MY BABY GIRL (16 ) SO NOT LIKE IT WAS A HUGE PARTY OR ANYTHING ..OR SO I THOUGHT... I PERSONALLY WENT OUT AND MET SOME FRIENDS LATE SATURDAY NIGHT AND MOM AND MY AUNT STAYED AT THIS BAR CALLED JAN AND LIBBS ITS HER BEST FRIEND LIBBYS BAR AND OUR HOTEL WAS ABOUT 20 FEET AWAY FROM THE BAR SO THE OLD LADYS DECIDE TO HAVE A FEW DRINKS ..MOM HAS TOLERANCE LIKE ME.. ONE DRINK DRUNK!! SO THEY SING AND DANCE AND HAVE A WONDERFUL NIGHT AND IM LOVING IT BECAUSE I HAVENT SEEN MY MOTHER SO HAPPY IN YEARS.. THEN THEY DECIDE ITS TIME TO VENTURE BACK TO THE HOTEL...WELL THERE LAUGHING AND BEING SILLY AND CHILLY IN THE PARKING LOT AND THROUGH THE HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER IM TOLD BY MY MOTHER AND AUNT THAT MOM TOOK A GOOD FALL.. THEY CAN NOT TELL ME OR ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS WITHOUT LAUGHING LIKE LOONS.. IT IS FUNNY TO SEE, HOWEVERR LIKE I SAID I WAS OUT WITH FRIENDS MY CELL WAS DEAD AND MOM DIDNT REALISE HOW BAD A FALL SHE TOOK....YES SHE WAS DEFINATLY HURT ..WHEN I WALKED IN THE DOOR OF OUR HOTEL I SEE HER AND KNOW THERE WAS SOMETHING WAY WRONG WITH HER... SO I RUSH TO THE STORE GET ICE PACKS FOR HER ARM KNEE AND FOOT..SOME WOUND CARE STUFF TO FIX UP HER CUTS AND THEN WISK HER OFF TO THE HOSPITAL ..SO SHE BROKE HER ARM CHIPPED HER ELBOW CUT HER KNEE PRETTY GOOD AND SPRAINED HER ANKLE ALSO.SHE IS A MESS...BUT AGAIN SHE COULDNT TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT WITHOUT LOOOSING IT ..I SWEAR ITS THE BEST SOUND IN THE WORLD TO HEAR MY MOTHER LAUGH,I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH IN HER LIFE... I AM HAPPY SHE IS FINALLY GOING TO LIVE AGAIN...NOT EXHIST BUT LIVE!SHE EVEN HAS A DATE FRIDAY NIGHT.. IM SO EXCITED FOR HER. IT GIVES ME HOPE TO WATCH HER...SHE LOST HER BABY BOY HER SON AT 19 YEARS OLD AND HAS NEVER FOUND THE LAUGHTER AGAIN..WELL SHE HAS FOUND HER GROOVE SHE KNOWS THAT HER LIFE IS SO IMPORTANT AND INORDER FOR HER TO REALLY BE HAPPY SHE NEEDS LAUGHTER AND LOVE IN HER LIFE..OF COURSE SHE MISSES MY LITTLE BRO STILL AND WILL FOREVER BUT SHE KNOWS THAT WHATEVER TIME SHE HAS ON THIS EARTH IS GOING TO BE HAPPY TIMES AND AS LONG AS SHE WAKES UP IN THE MORNING SHE IS GOING TO LIVE,LOVE AND LAUGH! SHE IS A GREAT ROLE MODEL FOR ANYONE!

NOW THE REASON I WAS SO SCARED FOR HER AFTER HER FALL IS JUST HAD TWO SURGERYS.. ONE FROM RIBS TO PELVIC BONE TO FIX AN ANNURISNM AND ONE TO REMOVE A LARGE CYST OFF HER BACK.. I AM SO AFRAID SHE COULD HAVE REALLY HURT HERSELF! BUT SHE DIDNT..NOT THAT WAY ANYHOW!! LOL

WELL THATS ABOUT ALL FOR TONIGHT I AM SLEEPY AND MY JUDO JUNKIE BOYS ARE HOME NOW SO I NEED TO GO SEE THEM..
SENDING LOTS OF LOVE
AUDRA

The Secret

One day, one friend asked another,
"How is it that you are always so happy?
You have so much energy,
and you never seem to get down."

With her eyes smiling, she said, "I know the Secret!"

"What secret is that?"

To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it,
but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."

"The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do in my
life that will make me truly happy.
I must depend on God to make me
happy and to meet my needs.
When a need arises in my life, I have to
trust God to supply according to HIS riches.
I have learned most of the time I don't need half
of what I think I do.
He has never let me down.
Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."

The questioner's first thought was,
"That's too simple!"
But upon reflecting over her own life
she recalled how she thought a bigger
house would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job would
make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren,
playing games, eating pizza or reading a story,
a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too!
We can't depend on PEOPLE to make us happy.
Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.
Trust HIM! And now I pass the Secret on to you!
So once you get it, what will you do?

Thursday, February 24, 2005 10:45 AM CST

Hello All,

So much to report! Life happens

Last week we were invited to a “Poker run” to benefit the Connor Moran Children Cancer Foundation. We set up at the local bar Scooters and when the bikers came they would select there card and then we would stamp there card. All the money raised supports our children and families, there are so many children diagnosed everyday . Everyone fell in love with Ty who wouldn’t with that smile full of mischief. Teri and her support team were so good to us during Ty ’s treatment and ever since. There the type of organization that stays long after the child is done with treatment and supports the family long after the loss of the child. We would have been lost without them! We are forever grateful for everything they have done for us and our friends.

There are many organizations that stay with the child and family only as long as there on treatment and then when they finish there treatment there gone as if the families life all of a sudden goes back to the “normal” as if the cancer never turned there life upside down. It’s sad to say that our life will never be without cancer. Even if Ty lives to be 100 he will always be a Childhood Cancer Survivor. Our lives forever changed 11-11-99.

Ty-Michael has returned from his trip to Ct. and Vermont all he said was “ mom on my 18th birthday I’m moving to Ct.” LMAO, I think he should have stayed a few more days to get the full reality of snow and cold! Fun in the snow is way different than waiting for the school bus in freezing weather or trying to heat up the house. He did do some shoveling and said it was “alright” but the snow blower was much more fun!!

All in all he had a wonderful time with our family and was so excited to meet cousins that he didn’t even know he had! (we have a huge family) everyone loved him (were not surprised by that) he had so much fun in the snow.

He loves snow mobile snow boarding, skiing, and making a snow angel I have some great pictures that I will post later tonight. When I am at home with my computer.
Thank you June and Eric for showing him the time of his life! He has now fulfilled one of his many dreams.

As we know life can be too short. So we are so happy when his list of dreams gets filled. Ty went through so much and we really never imagined we would have so many healthy years with him. We are so grateful for everyday! Each day is a new adventure with Ty-Michael.

Please pray for all our friends who are deep in the battle fighting everyday. Too many have relapsed recently its heartbreaking to watch . it s impossible to stand by and not get attached to the other children. Impossible not to feel the loss and the victories.

Michael sends his love to everyone, thank you for visiting his page.

Monday, February 7, 2005 6:56 PM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TY-MICHAEL

I am so sorry its been so long since i updated mikes page and i have thought about doing it every day i just never seem to have the words to put
here.

ty-michael had a great birthday.. as you can see by the new picture he received a new bike /motorcycle that he just loves..he looks so natural
in leather lol!
Ty also was given a pretty major gift from me and me ma.. Ty has wished everyday to see snow to snow board, ski, ice skate on a pond all the
wonderful winter wonderland things that you just cant do here in south florida ... (the reason we live here in the SUNSHINE STATE)
well my cousin june and her family have a great home in Vermont and they said they would show Ty the time of his life .. so with my heart in
my throat i made travel arrangements for him to fly to Ct. and meet my cousin and then they will travel to Vermont to play in the snow and
make a snow angel! My cousin said that if there is no snow (which i think would be impossible) that they will drive as far north as they can to
find some for him.
we are very excited and extremely scared to let our boy fly alone and go on such a great adventure alone. But as i said this has been his life
dream and i just cant take that away. life is so short ! Personally i cant wait till he gets off the airplane home and says AHH SUNSHINE!! lets
hit the BEACH!! I personally only go back to Ct. between june and october .. other than that theirs no place like home !!!

we got the report cards and the boys did very well overall.. Ty's teacher said he would be a perfect student if he wasn't so worldly and have this
great need to teach the class and teacher instead of being the student. Alex received a good report as well .. the grades were great and his
behavior was great he just has a bunch of girl issues!! Thirteen is right around the corner and i never really believed that these things called
hormones can go haywire!! well let me tell you ..they do! Sieharra wont receive her report card for awhile as she just started school at South
Fork High.. friday is the first school dance... i think i am more excited than she is!

Heath reports are all good .. Ty seems to be growing and developing as normal as can be expected. his growth chart is showing no long term
side effects so far and that's wonderful . I always fear the next scans.. but those are far off.. he is growing maturing and living. and mostly
loving life!!!

Sometimes i really have a hard time with Ty's caring bridge web page. i love to post about how wonderful he is doing and how he is the picture
of good health.. but then i surf around checking on the kids i follow and feel so sad that there are so many kids out there that are battling so
hard and our friends are loosing there children . I am so grateful for ty's health but i do have a heart and i feel everyone's pain. we lost
another rhabdo kid last week he was so handsome and smart. i don't know how his parents will live without him. This is a fear i can never get
past..why? because CANCER SUCKS!!!

Sending lots of hugs and love to everyone out there.. keep all the children in your prayers and know even though we are not standing on the
floor of O-2 Peds our hearts are there and we love you all.. keep fighting..never give up and remember gods promise every time you see a
rainbow and a beautiful sunset..

Thursday, January 20, 2005 11:01 PM CST

Sometimes i never know where to begin these post. I have been reading alot lately ,following many children who are deep in the battle grounds parents who are fighting for another hour another day another memory. it breaks my heart seeing so many kids going through this,and so many parents have to make choices that no one should ever have to make.

We are at a strong point in our lives and its so scarey to say that. scarey only beacause im always afraid if i say everything is great or i no longer have fear then IT will be back again... no i do not really believe that to be true but my mothers favorite saying is "hung by the tounge" !

Ty is doing great ,
he had a full body scan last week . The scan is called a scan-o-gram and it measures the bones growth. there is a huge chance that Ty-michael will not grow correctly due to so much radiation to his little body. We were told before we started the radiation that he could and most likely would have some major growth deformation. well i am so happy to tell you that the scans show that he is beyond perfect in his growing . he has 0.06 cm difference in his leg length.. that is less than most "normal" non radiated people. he orthopedic surgen was so happy (he is also a cancer survivor) he called me at work and was almost giddy to tell of the test results. When he called of course i couldnt breath waiting to hear what the test revealed .We are so grateful that to this point four years post treatment and just over five years since DX that Ty is so healthy. All cancers suck but rhabdo seems to be one of the worst out there as far as aggressive and relapse. We have had more than our share of scares and thank god daily that they are just that
SCARES!!!

Last night Ty-michael earned his yellow belt in judo. he was very proud of himself (so were we) he hasnt been able to practice for a long time due to the broken ankle yet he never missed a practice. watching and learning . his sinsai was quite impressed with his knowledge as he thought ty was just hanging out and not paying attention .He showed us!! AS USUAL!!!Now that ty has the medical clearance to go back to sports he has jumped in with both feet.. i say that lightly ... and i told all the coaches and school nurse i didnt want to hear of any broken bones..lol they all laughed and said "we are talking about ty"

Alex also advanced up a belt tonight ,he is now an orange belt , he is really a natural , seems anything athletic he really excells in. I know he did not get that from me !!

We are waiting on report cards and looking for good grades (fingers crossed) I always worry that the sports will interfear with the school work ..so far it hasnt and we would like to keep it that way!

I would like to request some prayers for some of the special fighters out there.. little Cam is going to have surgery soon to remove some tumors that are still showing in his chest, Cam has neuroblastoma another nasty type of cancer!
Also little Joe Joe has relapsed. he has leukemia and was over a year post treatment. This breaks my heart ..what a cutie he is..if you live in palm beach there is a big billboard sign with joe as child of the year for leukemia society.It was pretty awesome to be sitting there at the light on military trail and looking up and see his beautiful face. i know his parents must be so devistated. Please pray for all of the kids sadley there is no way to list them all, there are just too many children and families!
Thank you for stoping by please sign Ty's guestbook .. he doesnt get many entrys and loves to read the ones that are there.

Love and Peace to you all
Audra

Sunday, December 26, 2004 12:28 AM CST

HELLO AND MERRY CHRISTMAS

ALL SEEMS WELL IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS THE CHILDREN HAD A GREAT CHRISTMAS AND BY THE LOOK OF MY HOUSE I THINK THEY WERE VERY GOOD THIS YEAR!

TY-MICHAEL SEEMS TO BE DOING VERY WELL OVER ALL ...
HE IS HAVING SOME ISSUES FROM SEVERAL SURGERYS AND WAY TOO MUCH RADIATION HE HAS ALOT OF SCAR TISSUE AROUND HIS URITER AND BLADDER . THIS CAUSES HIM ALOT OF PROBLEMS WITH INCONTINACE AND PAIN , MOSTLEY AT NIGHT. BUT IT DOES CAUSE HIM A GREAT DEAL OF EMBARRASEMENT. IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM. I KNOW THAT ALL WE DID TO HIM WAS TO SAVE HIS LIFE AND IN THE BIG PICTURE THIS IS SMALL STUFF. BUT IT IS STUFF HE HAS TO DEAL WITH FOREVER. AND HE HATES IT. HE UNDERSTANDS WHAT WE DID WAS TO KEEP HIM ALIVE.

ALEX IS DOING GOOD HE GETS HIS CAST OFF ON WEDNESDAY . HE CANT WAIT. HE WILL START SERIOUSE TRAINING ON THURSDAY. HE THEN GOES TO COMPETITION IN FEBRUARY . HE SHOULD BE ANOTHER BELT UP BY THEN... HE SOULD BE AN ORANGE BELT. THE LAST TOURNEMENT TIM WAS A JUDGE I DONT THINK HE WILL BE ALLOWED TO JUDGE IF ALEX IS COMPETEING ...WE SHALL SEE... RIGHT NOW WERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE HE DOESNT GET HURT AGAIN AND TRYING TO BEEF HIM UP NOT LIKE ANYTHING WE DO IS GOING TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN...! HE IS A SKINNY LITTLE MAN BUT VERY POWERFUL!!

SIEHARRA IS GREAT! SHE GETS BETTER EVERY DAY HER PERSONALITY IS BLOSSOMING . SHE IS NOW 16 YEARS OLD ALMOST A WOMAN AND STILL A LITTLE GIRL ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I LOVE TO WATCH THE CHANGES IN HER. SHE IS DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL AND SEEMS VERY HAPPY...I HOPE ANYWAY !! SIEHARRA AND TIM HAVE REALLY DEVELOPING A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. I THINK ITS AWESOME. HE REALLY LOVES TO HAVE HER AROUND !! WE ALL DO!!

WE HAVE HAD A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS WITH DONALD HERE ALSO. IT WAS A BIG CHRISTMAS WE HAD ALL THE FAMILY AROUND .WE DID THE USUAL CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY AT AUNT DONNA HOUSE AND BIG CHRISTMAS DAY DINNER AT TONY AND CRYSTALS HOUSE. IT WAS SO NICE TO BE WITH EVRYONE AND EVERYONE WAS SO HAPPY TO BE TOGETHER.

I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT HOLIDAY

I WISH EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!!

SENDING LOVE
AUDRA ,TIM, SIEHARRA, D.J., ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL

Tuesday, December 7, 2004 10:56 PM CST

i am so sorry its been so long since my last update... there is so much to tell that i dont even know where to begin....

ok lets start with the 9th of november ..the day started as normal as could be and then took a drastic turn for the worse .. the school called and ty-michael was being rushed by ambulance to the hospital he had a 104.9 temp pain in his belly and lungs and was compleatly out of it..we could not hold a conversation with him on a normal level.
ty was admited to st marys hospital on 11-9-04 five years to the day that he was orriginally diagnosed. Scarey !! ty spent four days on the hem-onc floor in the room where he was diagnosed exactly 5 years earlier. i must admidt thiis was so scarey to be there reliving those horrible firsts five years later! Ty only had some sort of viral invection so as soon as he was fever free for 18+ hours they let us go home!! we were so grateful to be home again ... while i was there on O-2 Peds i only saw two of the children i have met in the past ... little cam was in also for fever and kyle p was also there.
i found it to be very sad that there are so many new children on the floor... and the reality that so many of the children i met along the way have passed on. it really is a horrible feeling.

ty came home and in a few days was back to his normal wild man self... i asked him .." how can you make me so scared for your life that i can not breath and then feel all better and make me wanna choke the crap out of you for being TY?? i guess that is one of those questions that will never be answered! all i can say is this boy keeps us going . every one who meets him falls in love!

ok lets jump to the next fun event .... lol ... ty got his cast off on thursday that was a good thing ... he loved the cruches sooooo much and i am sure you can only imagine what a 10 yr old can do on cruches!

my mother went into surgery on the 19th for an abdominal annurism. the surgery was very intense there were some complications that caused her to remain in ICU an extra four days she needed to go on a resperator for a few hours but then she was able to beath on her own..she has really been through it but she is getting bettter each day... as of today she has lost 20 pounds and has not had a smoke in 16 days.. i am so proud of her!!! she got her staples out on friday and is started to feel better ...she is still very tired but we expect that for awhile..!!

jumping again to tuesday 11-23-04 another phone call ... this one from timmy .. alex and tim were on there way to the hospital ..apparently alex was doing slap push ups and came down wrong on his right hand and broke the hand just above the right knuckle..he was cast and the doctor had to rebreak the hand due to the finger was so out of place. so now alex is running around with an orange cast... all i can say is on wednesday night when the kids had to turn in there football gear and his coach looked at this boy of mine with a broken hand he laughed a big belly laugh and said he was just glad that his starting quarter back waited till the season ended to get hurt... and maby mom would let him play again next year!! i was kinda thinking the chess team would be a great sport for my crash test dummies!! Ty says ping pong ball ..

so now lets recap a little .. tim had shoulder surgery, ty broke his leg, mom had major surgery and alex broke his hand all in the last few weeks!! geesh and they wonder why im so nutts!! lol

now i must ask for many prayers to be sent this way ... my daddy will be having surgery on the 16th of december .. his surgery is way more complicated than moms and boy was hers complicated... the doctors are going to clamp the aoritic arturiy roto rooter the artury and then put a roof/tube in the artury to keep it from collapseing . needless to say i am so worried about him . he did not react very well to his last two surgerys on the cararted artury the sedation does not do so well with him . so please please pray for him to make it through this surgery with no complications. i know he is a tough old sailor but prayers never hurt!

so do you think i should rent out a time share hospital room?? do you think they will take pets?? cause poor little Misty Michelle Schmidt Ty's very first pet( he named her .) has fallen very ill.. we are not sure yet what is wrong with her maybe a blockage ..if it is a blockage then the doctor said she will need an opperation to fix her up. needless to say ty is freaked out...he is very emotional when it comes to the things he loves! the first thing the doctor said was wrong was he thought he had FELINE LEUKEMIA!!! at that point my heart broke.. how was i going to tell this young boy that he cat has cancer. i cried all day at work Ty has seen more death than most people see in there entire lives ..and to him cancer is major! of course they think im crazy being so upset about a cat but its the idea that ty has wanted a pet soo very long ..begged and pleaded for and animal and he finally has one and she gets really sick.. that sux! but she does not have cancer she has a blockage in her belly somewhere?!?!?!?!

and now some good news.. on the 19th i will have all five of the children together and i am so looking forward to having a family photo done of them all together. then ashely will stay here with us through christmas!! I am really looking forward to the week although i have to work through most of the week its going to be great to have all our children together.

thank you to everyone who does check in on ty and sign his guestbook...

love to all
audra

Friday, November 5, 2004 1:26 PM CST

Everyday I count my blessings ..everyday I still ask myself how did we ever get here?
Im told I should not question the why’s of childhood cancer. Im told it will just make me
Insane with fear. I don’t think there is anything that will cure the fear of what will come
Next.

Ty-Michael is GREAT he is beyond great he is healthy,smart and loving he is doing wonderful in school and he even got his cast off yesterday . so other than some minor pain from his broken/healed ankle he is PERFECT!

So why should today be a day full of depression? Why should I feel the pain of other children? Why do I feel so lost ? why am I consumed with fear?
Next week on 11-11-2004 will mark the 5 years since diagnosis. On that dreadful day five years ago our entire life changed. We have been blessed to keep our son with us for the last five years, I know I should find so much comfort in that he is so healthy . I should take comfort in the fact that each day of remission is another day closer to being cured forever.

This past week so many children that I follow on caring bridge and through the
Rhabdomyosarcoma list have lost there fight.. too many have relapsed and then there are new cases of his horrible cancer. WHY WHY WHY ???

Please do not mistake my fear and anxiety for lack of faith . I have plenty of faith and trust in god and the great doctors who’s hands helped to heal my baby boy. But the reality of this is …CANCER SUCKS!

As a mother I am not sure I will ever totally get over the fear. As a mother I can not look at another who is battling this beast and not feel there pain . I see the bald babies and I cry for them for the loss of there sacred childhood for the loss of there innocents for the pain and knowledge of a 6 year old who can name chemo drugs and could probably pass any test for oncology. I know that I wanted my 6 year old to play and be fancy free.

Instead I have a 10 year old little man who can have a adult conversation with anyone about cancer about the changes in the family dynamics about radiation,chemo and surgery. A child who is not afraid of cancer ..a child who stood in front of his best friend coffin and question everyone’s tears . because in this child eyes the cancer is gone forever the child is forever cured and forever pain free .not exactly how I wanted my baby boy to think at 10 years old

WE ARE THANKFUL FOR EVERYDAY

Monday, October 11, 2004 8:12 PM CDT

NEVER A DULL MOMENT WITH TY-MICHAEL AS A CHILD!

LOOKS LIKE TY'S FOOTBALL SEASON IS OVER !

SAD TO SAY BUT OUR LITTLE MAN BROKE HIS RIGHT ANKLE!
I CANT SAY IM TOO SURPRISED AFTER THE SCANS HE HAD IN
SEPTEMBER SHOWING FLUID ON THAT SAME RIGHT ANKLE..HOWEVER
I DID NOT THINK HE WOULD BREAK IT PLAYING SOCCER INSTEAD
OF TACKLE FOOTBALL! HE PLAYS FOOTBALL DAILY AS WELL AS JUDO!

TY PICKED OUT GREEN FOR HIS CAST ( HOBE SOUND HURRICANE COLOR ) AND IS EXCITED TO HAVE EVERYONE SIGN ... HIS NEW NICKNAME IS **GIMPPY** IT FITS HIM PERFECTLY.

MY BOY IS A WALKING/HOPPING DISASTER!! HE HE IM SURE YOUR NOT SURPRISED ANY!

ME WELL IM SO HAPPY TO KNOW THAT THIS TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL AND ORTHOPEDIC SURGEN WAS FOR A *NORMAL* KID INJURY!!
WHOOOO WHOOO!!!

ALSO THE NEW ORTHO IS GREAT AND ALSO A CANCER SURVIVOR HE WAS SO WONDERFUL WITH TY-MICHAEL .. HE WILL BE DOING HIS FOLLOW UP SCANS AND TESTS FOR THE SCOLIOSIS (SPELLING??) AS WELL AS A FULL GROWTH CHART TO SEE HOW HIS BONES ARE ACTUALLY GROWING ... IT WAS KINDA FUNNY TO SEE MY BOY TALKING WITH HIS DOCTOR ABOUT CHEMO AND TREATMENT..TY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DOCTOR WHEN HE GROWS UP!

HOPE ALL IS WELL IN YOUR WORLD!

LOVE,
AUDRA TIM ALEX SIEHARRA AND TY-MICHAEL SCHMIDT AKA GIMP!

Saturday, October 2, 2004 3:33 PM CDT

YEAH!! WE HAVE POWER!!!! WHOOO WHOOO !

Thankfully F.P.L has finally restored our power its been well over a week .. like i said before i never realised i was so spoiled . I dont think i would have survived another cold shower! so thankfully all is better .

Our neighborhood didnt fair so well there is plenty of damage everywhere the beach side area is basically gone. The dunes are washed away and i just cant explaine the amount of distruction we are seeing everywhere! Its amazing that our house has held up so well other than our fence , trees and a few shingles lost.

My office HA well thats another story... we are struggling through the daily day to day at this point. The office was flooded and the mold is so bad. We litterally had four inches of standing water not to mention the celing tiles fell ...OOHH the smell YUCK! today the roofers came and hopefully will have that all taken care of so we can replace the carpet a few computers and have the a/c ducts cleaned out! Again i am just in awe at the distruction from these storms.

Ty michael is doing great .. he has alot going on in his little life. he is doing great health wise and when there was school (three weeks or so ago) he was getting straight A's.

Alex is doing great also. he loves school and football he is moving right along in judo and seems overall very happy.

Donald our oldest son 15 is doing great in school . he attends a private school for computer drafting and at the moment is designing a bridge. I think this may be exactly what he needs. What a talented child he is.

Sieharra is also doing great in school . Im guessing the Cornerstone Christian Academy is just what she needed .. one on one instruction and she works at her own pace. meaning if she works really hard she could graduate in just two years. ( ihope that is what she wants)

Ashley is growing up too fast 17 now and working and going to school . she doesnt want to get her drivers license.. on one hand i think thank god and the other i think what is she thinking i had mine on my 16th birthday lol .. i guess she isnt ready and thats actually a good thing cause IM NOT READY!!!

Tim is healing .. men are the worst when there hurt or sick lol.. he doesnt listen to doctors that he should rest not drive and take time to relax. not my guy nope he is back to work already and driving around being a man... gotta love him anyway!

I am still waiting for my mom to have her surgery. i am getting so upset. i guess i should already know that this stuff takes time but im so scared for her. She says its in gods hands and i know she is right but im really attched to her!

Hope all is well with everyone out there. I will update soon.

Saturday, October 2, 2004 3:33 PM CDT

YEAH!! WE HAVE POWER!!!! WHOOO WHOOO !

Thankfully F.P.L has finally restored our power its been well over a week .. like i said before i never realised i was so spoiled . I dont think i would have survived another cold shower! so thankfully all is better .

Our neighborhood didnt fair so well there is plenty of damage everywhere the beach side area is basically gone. The dunes are washed away and i just cant explaine the amount of distruction we are seeing everywhere! Its amazing that our house has held up so well other than our fence , trees and a few shingles lost.

My office HA well thats another story... we are struggling through the daily day to day at this point. The office was flooded and the mold is so bad. We litterally had four inches of standing water not to mention the celing tiles fell ...OOHH the smell YUCK! today the roofers came and hopefully will have that all taken care of so we can replace the carpet a few computers and have the a/c ducts cleaned out! Again i am just in awe at the distruction from these storms.

Ty michael is doing great .. he has alot going on in his little life. he is doing great health wise and when there was school (three weeks or so ago) he was getting straight A's.

Alex is doing great also. he loves school and football he is moving right along in judo and seems overall very happy.

Donald our oldest son 15 is doing great in school . he attends a private school for computer drafting and at the moment is designing a bridge. I think this may be exactly what he needs. What a talented child he is.

Sieharra is also doing great in school . Im guessing the Cornerstone Christian Academy is just what she needed .. one on one instruction and she works at her own pace. meaning if she works really hard she could graduate in just two years. ( ihope that is what she wants)

Ashley is growing up too fast 17 now and working and going to school . she doesnt want to get her drivers license.. on one hand i think thank god and the other i think what is she thinking i had mine on my 16th birthday lol .. i guess she isnt ready and thats actually a good thing cause IM NOT READY!!!

Tim is healing .. men are the worst when there hurt or sick lol.. he doesnt listen to doctors that he should rest not drive and take time to relax. not my guy nope he is back to work already and driving around being a man... gotta love him anyway!

I am still waiting for my mom to have her surgery. i am getting so upset. i guess i should already know that this stuff takes time but im so scared for her. She says its in gods hands and i know she is right but im really attched to her!

Hope all is well with everyone out there. I will update soon.

Friday, September 24, 2004 11:00 AM CDT

As we wait the arrival of the next hurricane Jeanne* seems we have never had so many active storms in one season , we are defiantly looking forward to December 1st when the hurricane season ends.
Ivan missed us but left a lot of rain in its wake.. we are expecting another direct hit from Jeanne. The house is boarded up and the supplies are all set.. basically we are ready as can be.

We have the final results from Ty-Michaels scans.. he remains cancer free!!! I am very happy of course the feeling of total anxiety has passed for now. The scans did not come back perfect (as usual) Ty has water on his right ankle this is most likely due to football and judo. He will see a orthopedic surgen in a week or so ..just to be sure he isn’t doing any extra damage to his foot. Ty continues to play football and if all goes as planned will play his first real game Saturday morning. ( three games cnx due to hurricanes) He also is displaying some “S”Shaped scoliosis apparently there isn’t much to worry about with that either.. it was just something new on his scans.
Something extra we need to watch .

Mom always says that god will never give more than you can handle and I would normally agree with her .lately that has been put to the test.

Starting with Tim.. Tim was playing football dad and was holding a 50 lb cooler filled with water and ice for the players to get there drinks. The cooler fell off the fence but Tim didn’t let it go. The cooler and Tims shoulder and rotar cuff did not fair as well. Tim had surgery on Monday to repair his right shoulder it was a major surgery and he is thankfully home recovering. He is recovering nice and is starting the physical therapy today. He will be out of work for about 5 months im not exactly sure how we will handle that finically but we will get through this.

Mom however well she is really sick and im so freaked out about it I don’t know what to do. Mom has an anurism in her abdomen. This is a very major thing , apparently it wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so very large. Mom will need to have a major surgery as soon as this hurricane passes .. now my only fear is that if this ruptures she will bleed to death . I wish the medical society did not have to take weather into account especially when its my mothers life were dealing with.

My dad also is sick and in need of a major abdominal and heart surgery. Looks like were all falling apart . dad has clogged arteries he has already had two surgerys and didn’t respond well but the choices are surgery or heart attack. I am very worried about him as well .. its hard to see my BIG STRONG DAD sick and weak.

Please pray for all of them .
I will update again soon
Love
Audra

Thursday, September 23, 2004 3:09 PM CDT

SORRY FOR THE DELAY WE ARE STILL WAITING ON THE FINAL REPORTS ON TY'S SCANS.. SO FAR THE MAJORITY SHOW HIM TO BE CANCER FREE!!!

I HAVE LOTS TO UPDATE ON ..SO SEE YA REAL SOON

Friday, September 10, 2004 4:53 AM CDT

TODAY WAS A HAPPY DAY AROUND HERE .. WE FINALLY GOT THE ELECTRIC BACK!! YIPPIE!! ITS BEEN A WEEK...AND JUST IN TIME FOR YET ANOTHER HURRICANE TO RIP ITS WAY THROUGH FLORIDA..WE HAVE TAKEN A GOOD SIZE HIT ALREADY AND I AM NOT SURE HOW THE SOUTH WILL HOLD UP TO A STORM THE SIZE OF IVAN..MOSTLEY BECAUSE THERE IS STILL SO MUCH DEBRIS EVERYWHERE ,DOWN POWER LINES AND TREES.. OUR HOUSE HELD UP GREAT..WE LOST THE NORTH AND SOUTH SIDES OF OUR FENCE AND ALL THE TROPICAL PLANTS AND TREES AROUND THE HOUSE. THANK GOD THAT WAS ALL THE DAMAGE. WE ENDED UP STAYING AT THE MOTEL 6 IN LANTANA ABOUT AN HOUR SOUTH OF WHERE THE ACTUAL EYE HIT... WICH HAPPENDS TO BE RIGHT HERE.. WE WERE GLAD WE MADE THAT CHOICE TO NOT TRAVEL TOO FAR FROM HOME AND WE WERE ALSO LUCKY THAT MOST EVERYONE LOST POWER FRIDAY MORNING AND WE WERE ABLE TO HOLD ONTO IT UNTIL AROUND 1 AM WHEN THE EYE OF THE STORM CAME ASHORE.THE KIDS WERE GREAT..POOR GUYS WE WERE ALL LOCKED IN A LITTLE HOTEL ROOM FOR 4 DAYS..NOT THERE IDEA OF FUN.ONCE WE LOST POWER .

I AM NOT SURE YET WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO.. STAY AND WAIT OUT THE STORM OR HEAD OUT OF FLORIDA FOR A FEW -SEVERAL DAYS?!? I THINK WE WILL WAIT UNTIL SATURDAY MORNING BEFORE WE MAKE A FINAL DECISION... THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THAT IS IN FLORIDA THERE IN ONLY ONE WAY IN OR OUT! THE FAMILY WANTS TO GO TO ST.LOUIS TO MY BROTHERS HOUSE.. THATS ABOUT 20 HOURS ON THE ROAD.. IM THINKING MAYBE A VISIT TO NASHVILLE WOULD BE A NICE WAY TO HIDE FROM IVAN THE HORRIBLE HURRICANE!

TY-MICHAEL IS DOING OK.. WE WERE ABLE TO DO HIS BRAIN SCAN AS SCHEDULED. WE STILL HAVE TO DO THE MRI OF THE LEGS ABDOMEN AND PELVIC.. THE SCANS WERE SUPOSED TO BE LAST THURSDAY BUT WERE CANCLED DUE TO HURRICAN FRANCIS.. YESTERDAY I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO RESCHEDUAL FOR THIS COMMING WEDNESDAY BUT I AM NOT SURE WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN NOW WITH THIS NEW STORM..GEESH!
AS FAR AS HIS HEALTH .. IM NOT SURE... YOU THINK AS A MOTHER YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL WHEN YOUR CHILD IS HEALTHY OR NOT. WELL ONCE YOUR A PARENT OF A CHILD WHO HAD CANCER YOU WILL NEVER BE CERTAIN ITS JUST NORMAL CHILDHOOD ACHES AND PAINS OR STOMACH SICKNESS.
I WILL UPDATE AS SOON AS I KNOW ANYTHING AND OF COURSE ONCE WE ARE BEYOND THIS NEXT STORM..

Thursday, August 26, 2004 3:28 PM CDT

** TY IS THE CHILD OF THE MONTH FOR SEPTEMBER**

http://www.fightforacure.org/





NOTE TO MYSELF... I HATE CANCER AND
EVERYTHING THAT INVOLVES CANCER!
I HATE DOCTORS,SCANS, SCARES, SCARS, MYSTERY PAINS AND ANXIETY!

TODAY TY-MICHEAL WENT TO SEE THE DOCTOR.. HES BEEN HAVING SOME PAIN HERE AND THERE AND I WAS HOPEING FOR A BASIC LITTLE CHECK UP ... BUT NOOOOO IT CAN NEVER BE A SIMPLE VISIT... NEVER A DONT WORRY MOM HES PERFECT VISIT OR NEVER FEAR THERES NO CANCER HERE!

OK SO IM TRYING HARD TO AMUSE MYSELF TODAY SO I DONT LOOSE MY MIND OR THE LITTLE BIT OF SANITY THAT I HAVE LEFT!

THESE ARE THE SYMPTOMS TY-MICHAEL IS HAVING AND MY EXPLINATION OF WHAT HE IS FEELING ...

MYSTERY PAIN THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE CANCER!

TY HAS
PAIN IN HIS FOOT- THIS IS FROM JUDO OR FOOTBALL OR BOTH... HE PULLED THE TENDON OR HAS A BONE SPUR..SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT!

PAIN IN HIS BELLY - THIS IS CAUSED BY LOTS OF SCAR TISSUE AND WITH THE EXERCISE AND GROWING ..ITS PAIN FROM THAT !

HUMOR ME PLEASE!

PAIN IN THE HIPS - FOOTBALL, JUDO AND GROWING

PAIN IN LEGS - FOOTBALL JUDO AND GROWING

A GRAND MAL SEISURE= ??????????????????? OK YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE... I CANT FIND A REASON TO EXPLAINE THAT ONE!

TY WILL HAVE A CT OF THE BRAIN ON MONDAY AND AN EEG/EKG

HE WILL HAVE A MRI OF THE ENTIRE BODY ON THURSDAY AS WELL AS BONE SCANS.

THEN HE HAS TO SEE THREE SPECIALIST
1) NEUROLIGIST
2) ORTHOPEDIC SURGEN
3) DR BUFO TO DETERMINE MASS/SCARE TISSUE GROWTH

I AM TRYING VERY HARD NOT TO FREAK OUT , EVERYTHING CAN BE EXPLAINED ... NONE OF THIS "HAS" TO DO WITH CANCER.. BUT WE ARE GOING TO RULE EVERYTHING OUT!!

PLEASE PRAY FOR SANITY FOR ALL OF US AND PLEASE PLEASE PRAY THAT ALL THE PAIN AND PROBLEMS TY IS HAVING ARE NORMAL GROWING AND ACTIVITY... ON TOP OF LONG T ERM SIDE EFFECTS FROM HIS CHEMO AND RADIATION!

THANK YOU WE LOVE YOU ALL ...
AUDRA

Saturday, August 21, 2004 2:15 AM CDT

TODAY THE BOYS ARE HAVING THERE FIRST FOOTBALL GAME! IT’S THE JAMBORIE ! THERE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, FINALLY GETTING TO REALLY PLAY HARD! THE CANES LOOK GOOD THIS YEAR I THINK THE MAJORITY OF THE KIDS/BOYS 10-13 INCLUDING 90-120 LBS..HAVE GROWN TONS SINCE LAST SEASON ALONE. THERE ARE A FEW VETERINS LIKE ALEX AND MIKE ..SO THIRD AND FOURTH YEAR PLAYERS THAT HAVE BEEN PLAYING TOGETHER NOW THE FOURTH SEASON.

ALEX EARNED HIS YELLOW BELT, WE ARE VERY PROUD OF HIM! JUDO IS YET ANOTHER SPORT THAT REALLY CAME NATURAL.ALEX IS A NATURAL ATHLETE!

SCHOOL WENT GREAT FOR ALL OF THE KIDS ..THATS A BIG RELIEF!

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN..

TY SEES DR.GOWDA THURSDAY FOR A CHECK UP..IM SURE ALL IS WELL

Sunday, August 15, 2004 12:47 AM CDT

Bill Cosby said it so right " kids say the darnd'st things" !
I say that because well we have found that Michael has
his own way of thinking....

Ty-Michaels chores are to fold the laundy one load a day
and make his bed as well as put his own laundry in the laundry room. not a hard nor time consuming job.

This is how our morning ritual of "why I can't do my chores " went this Sunday morning.

mom : Mike you have to do your chores before you go out to play!

Mike : oh mom , why do i have to do them now? cant i wait till later ..how about after lunch?

Mom: no Michael chores or no playing!

lots of beggin and pleading

Mom : No No No

Mike : Mom do you read the bible?

Mom : yes Mike i do!??!

Mike: well if you read it ..you would know that god made the seventh day a day of rest.. so i actually dont have to do any work till after school on monday!

Mom: MIKE ...Mike .. ( trying not to laugh) just go do your work and you can go play.

off he goes... he did his work and is now outside playing... the 5 seconds it would have taken him to do is simple chore took an hour and a half . but at least he finally did them...

so i know this small conversations seems silly to most . but to us it defines Ty -Michael... BOLD..ARROGANT..IN CHARGE..AND DOWN RIGHT DEMANDING LOL he will pull every possible string he will achieve everything and anything!

Ty was this head strong and determind while he was on treatment. Ty had his own agenda, that was to LIVE! and i dont just mean be alive i mean to LIVE! And he does that everyday!

Monday, August 9, 2004 9:49 PM CDT

TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL HERE IN MARTIN COUNTY.
ALEX SEEMED TO ADJUST TO THE CHANGEING OF THE CLASSES. AND IS EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO SCHOOL TOMOROW, .. IM GOING TO TAKE THAT AS A GOOD SIGN.! NOW IF I COULD ONLY GET OVER THE FACT THAT HE IS EVEN IN "MIDDLE SCHOOL" ...HE IS GROWING RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES.

TY-MICHAEL WAS VERY HAPPY THAT HE GOT THE ONLY TEACHER HE WANTED.. MRS SHARP WAS ALSO ALEX'S TEACHER..SO IM GLAD THERE IS THAT EXTRA BOND. WHERE TY IS CONCERNED ITS BETTER THE TEACHER KNOWS ALL ABOUT HIM LOL!

BOTH BOYS ARE GOING TO BE EXTRA BUISY WITH SCHOOL AND SPORTS.. OUR FOOTBALL SEASON IS JUST ABOUT TO TAKE OFF!! WE ARE ALL EXCITED ABOUT THAT!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + ++ + + +
TY-MICHAEL HAD A GREAT TIME AT CAMP FIESTA .. LOOKING AT HIS SCHEDUAL I CANT BELIEVE THESE CHILDREN AND CAMP COUNSLERS COULD EVEN BREATH.. TY WENT BOWLING ,PLAYED LAZER TAG,WENT TO BOOMERS A FEW TIMES, HE WENT TO BUSH GARDENS,ISLANDS OF ADVENTURE AND UNIVERSAL STUDIOS.. DONT FORGET PARROT JUNGLE AND A RENNISANCE DINNER AND DANCE.. WHAT A WONDERFUL CAMP AND LEE KLEIN AND OF COURSE ALL THE LOVING COUNSLERS .

NOW .... CAMP FIESTA FOR THOSE THAT DONT KNOW IS A CAMP FOR KIDS WHO HAVE OR HAVE HAD CANCER AT ANY TIME IN THERE LIFE. IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOUR CANCER HAS BEEN GONE 14 YEARS YOUR WELCOME THERE IF YOUR UNDER 18 AND READY TO GO WILD FOR 10 DAYS. MOST OF THE KIDS COME BACK YEAR AFTER YEAR UNTIL THERE OLD ENOUGH TO BE A C.I.T COUNSLER IN TRAINING 17+ THEN AFTER 18 THEN CAN BE A REAL COUNSLER.

WELL... THERE IS ALSO THE SAD REALITY THAT THE ONLY REASON OUR CHILD WAS ABLE TO GO TO THIS CAMP IS HE TRADED HIS CHILDHOOD IN FOR A MEDICAL DEGREE AT 5 YEARS OLD. HE HAS LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE,CHALLANGEING LIFE ON LIFES TERMS AND ALSO WAY TO MUCH ABOUT DEATH. HE HAS LOST MANY FRIENDS AND FEELS SO COMPASSIONATE ABOUT ALL OF THE KIDS... I THINK IT SUX!

I LOOKED AROUND THE ROOM SUNDAY AT ALL THESE CHILDREN ALL WITH ONE COMMON BOND ...CANCER... AND WAS SO ANGRY THAT THE KIDS EVEN HAD TO KNOW WHAT CANCER WAS NEVER MIND GET IT, BEAT IT, FIGHT IT, AND HOPEFULLY LIVE THROUGH IT! MY SON IS 10 YEARS OLD AND HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT THAN MOST ADULTS WHO LIVE A LONG FULL EDUCATED LIFE! ....

OK I GUESS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY AND TRYING NOT TO SAY CAUSE IT MESSED ME UP PRETTY GOOD IS THERE WAS A CAMPER WHO COMES EVERY YEAR ..WITH A RADIANT SMILE AND PERKY PERSONALITY AND MANY MANY FRIENDS WHO LOVE HER... WELL SADLY SHE RELAPSED AND SHE CAME TO CAMP SATURDAY AND SUNDAY TO SAY GOODBYE TO ALL HER FRIENDS . SHE KNEW SHE WOULDNT MAKE IT BACK NEXT YEAR... SO THAT STARTED CAMP OFF WITH REALITY OF WHERE THEY HAVE ALL BEEN AND WHERE THEY COULD ALL GO..WELL ALONG WITH ALL THE GREAT ACTIVITIES THEY DID THE KIDS ALSO DID FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE..AT THIS TIME THEY PASS A CANDLE AROUND THE ROOM AND EACH CHILD TELLS HIS FAVORITE PART ABOUT CAMP, THERE HOPES AND DREAMS AND
SHARE THERE INNER MOST HEART WITH EACHOTHER.. ITS ALWAYS AN EMOTIONAL EVENT AND I GET CHOKED UP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT AND HOW MUCH ALL THESE CHILDREN HAVE TO KNOW! THEY PRAY TOGETHER AND CRY ALOT TOGETHER, EMOTIONS I AM NOT SURE I COULD HANDLE AT 30+ NEVER MIND 7-18... THE PRAYERS THEY PRAYED ALOT WAS FOR HEALING OF KATRINA .. HOWEVER DURING THE EXACT TIME OF THE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE KATRINA PASSED AWAY AT HER HOME WITH HER FAMILY. ALL OF THE KIDS SAID HOW STRONG HER PRESANCE WAS IN THE ROOM...WELL AT BREAKFAST THEY WERE TOLD OF THE PASSING OF THERE DEAR FRIEND, ALL OF THE CHILDREN WHO KNEW HER TOOK THIS VERY HARD...THESE POOR CHILDREN SHOULD NOT KNOW SO MUCH PAIN SO YOUNG!

WHEN I ARRIVED AT CAMP TO PICK UP MIKE AND DO THE CLOSEING CEREMONY SO MANY CHILDREN WERE JUST SOBBING..THIS TOOK ME STRAIGHT TO TEARS.. I WAS THINKING WHAT A GREAT WEEK THEY MUST HAVE HAD ..THE FRIENDSHIPS AND BONDS THEY MADE WILL LAST FOREVER ,.THERE ALL CAMP SICK AND DONT WANT TO LEAVE THERE FRIENDS AND THE FUN. BUT THERE WAS THE PAINFUL REALITY THAT THERE FRIEND DID NOT SURVIVE AND THIS NASTY CANCER MONSTER WAS ABLE TO CLAIM ANOTHER CHILD/ BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN!

MY FAVORITE TEENAGER WAS AT CAMP A 17 YR OLD WHO HELPED ME SO MUCH WHEN TY WAS DIAGNOSED(SHE LET ME PICK HER BRAIN ..HOW DOES CHEMO FEEL IN YOUR BODY, HOW DO YOU AS A CHILD SEE THE WORLD OF CANCER. I NEEDED HER MIKE WAS ONLY 5 YEARS OLD AND I DIDNT THINK HE WOULD KNOW HOW TO TELL US WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO HIM...THANK YOU MISS ASHLEY. ..ANYWAY SHE HUGGED ME AND JUST SOBBED AND SOBBED ..SHE WAS GOING WITH SOME OTHER FRIENDS THAT AFTERNOON TO VISIT HER AND NOW WELL.. ALOT OF THE KIDS AND TEENAGERS ARE PLANNING ON GOING TOGETHER TO HER FUNERAL ON FRIDAY... HOW HORRIBLY SAD...

IM SORRY IF THIS POST IS A DOWNER BUT SOMETIMES REALITY SUX AND AS A MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH CANCER THERE ARE DOWN DAYS OR NEROTIC DAYS AND SAD DAYS AND REJOYCEFUL DAYS... TODAY IS JUST A REALITY DAY...I HATE THAT ANY OF THESE KIDS HAVE TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH!

FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW THIS

CANCER SUCKS !!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 0:06 AM CDT

LIFE ON THE HOMEFRONT HAS BEEN A LITTLE QUIET THIS WEEK..
TY-MICHAEL WENT OFF TO CAMP FIESTA THIS WEEK HE LEFT ON SATURDAY AND WILL BE HOME THIS SUNDAY AFTERNOON,
THE CAMP IS SO FULL OF ACTION.. THEY ARE IN TAMPA TODAY AND ORLANDO TOMOROW .
(.I WOULD LOVE TO BE ON HIS LITTLE VACATION. )

MONDAY THEY START BACK TO SCHOOL .. I KNOW THE BOYS ARE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SCHOOL .. BOTH ENJOY LEARNING AND THE STRUCTURE. I THINK THAT I AM IN SHOCK THAT ALEX WILL BE GOING TO MIDDLE SCHOOL.. DOESNT SEEM POSSIBLE !! MIKE WILL BE GOING TO FOURTH GRADE (IM NOT SO SURE HE IS AS EXCITED)

TIM AND THE BOYS HAVE BEEN SO BUISY WITH ALL OF THERE SPORTS ACTIVIES JUDO AND FOOTBALL... THERE IS NEVER ANY DOWN TIME FOR MY THREE MEN! ITS GOOD FOR THEM ALL !MONDAY WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY FOOTBALL FROM 6-8 AND TUESDAY AND THURSDAY JUDO FROM 6-8 ...WOW!

***MEDICAL NEWS**
NOT MUCH TO REPORT... MIKE HAS THE USUAL PAIN IN HIS ABDOMEN AND CAN REALLY FEEL IT WHEN HE DOES HIS WARM UPS. IM GUESSING DUE TO THE AMMOUNT OF GROWING HE IS DOING THAT THE SCAR TISSUE IN HIS ABDOMEN IS ALSO GROWING,PULLING AND EVEN POKEING HIM. ... THIS I AM SURE IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
POOR TY ALSO HAS TO BATTLE THE NIGHT TIME INCONTINANCE PROBLEM . I THINK WITH AS MUCH RADIATION AND AS MANY SURGERYS TO HIS "WATER WORKS" COULDNT POSSIBLEY HELP.HE COULD HAVE HAD MANY MORE SIDE EFFECTS FROM THE CHEMO AND RADIATION ..WE ARE VERY THANKFUL HE IS GROWING SO WELL!..HE NEVER COMPLAINS BUT I KNOW HE WORRYS ABOUT HIS FRIENDS AT CAMP.
HE DOESNT LIKE ANYONE TO KNOW..
I WILL BE SURE TO POST PICTURES AS SOON AS HE GETS THEM HOME.

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN ON US..
AUDRA

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 5:05 AM CDT

I hope every one had a great 4th of July weekend!

We had a great weekend, action packed a full of family time.
We celebrated the 4th on the 3rd with the family BBQ also my
sister and niece birthday all at the same time. I was sad that dad
couldnt come but he was in a fishing tournament so i understand
(we still miss him)

Sunday the 4th we went to great park in lantana with The whole family it was wonderful to all be together. The sunset was awesome with a definate hello from heaven ..you know the sunset i mean when the sun rays are so strong and beautiful when you can feel so deepley the loved ones who have gone on ahead letting you know were never alone.. my baby brother, sends many of these hellos to heal my mother. There was also about 10 ballons that were flying to the heavens .. we were all touched by this.

On the 5th of july we went to the rapids water park. That was awesome !!!
all the kids had a great time and us BIG kids had a great time also. we
rode so many rides over and over and just straight out enjoyed the entire day. i really dont want to go to work today, i think i wanna play some more!!

I have a sweet and emotional story to share today...

July 2000 we went to the rapids with The Conner Moran Childrens Cancer Foundation. We were on Ty's make a wish trip and raced home from the port to be with all our favorite friends. I am so glad as i have beautiful memories of this day.

There was the sweetest boy who touched my heart to its core.. Mr.Quinten Godfrey he had a brain tumor there was no chance for survival . His symptoms were bad he couldnt walk anymore and was confined to a wheel chair.There are not many rides that a wheel chair bound person can go on as there are about a million stairs to climb. Well our little PA PA (aka quintin) was certanley sad that he could not enjoy the fun all his friends were having. Then my Tim the GREATEST dad ever decided he would do whatever need be to make this boys day the best ever. Tim carried papa up those stairs over and over so he could go down the Tubeing Tornado a wild ride but you can go down two in the tube and tim was able to hold on to papa and keep him safe. I personally was so afraid all i could think of was OMG he has a brain tumor on the brain stem and what if something happends. I told his mom Sheri of my fear and she said if he goes while he is laughing its ok with her. Thank you to whom ever created the video camera as i was able to capture every moment on a tape i will cherish forever.
Our papa left this earth July of 2001.
Every time we go to the rapids (wich is quite often these days) we send a tube down the tubeing tornado say a quiet prayer and let the empty tube go. We know he is watching and laughing!
So yesterday as i made it to the top of the ride i felt my heart sink I miss my papa so very much , i didnt have my extra tube for him ( i gave it to my niece who joined us half way up the stairs) i felt sad ,i felt lost i felt his mothers pain . At the moment i stood there getting ready to board my tube i was blinded by a shiny light in the water as i looked down i see a penny heads up and i knew at that very moment i didnt need a tube for pa pa he was there with me.I love little hellos from heaven.. I know in my heart that penny was sent by him to ease that pain and remeber his laughter.. I love and miss him so much!

ok now that i cant see through my tears of mixed up emotions i should go wake Ty and get him off to summer camp..

All of us here have been touched by this horrible cancer and oddley enough some of our best memories came from a monster that only wants to steal our children. Confusing YES grateful for today YES looking forward to tomorow YES YES YES!

love and peace
Audra

P.S when i showed my penny to Ty he said" that was from Quinten mom" and told me "not to worry he sent a tube down for him! "

Thursday, June 17, 2004 10:36 PM CDT

********NEW PICTURE **********

I am so sorry i have not updated in so long.
It seems as though all is well here.Michael seems
very healthy and quite active and full of life.

Alex and Michael are now doing Judo. we
hope that they find the balance needed so
they can fall on the football field and know
how to land correctly ...just so we dont have
to ride in an ambulance this football season.
As most of you know the boys and there
accidents (mostly Ty) are almost weekly.
I hope that he grows out of the clumsyness!

"HE GET IT FROM HIS MOMMA!"
I am the biggest clutz ! lol

Ty-Michael saw doctor Gowda the hem-onc. dr
as schedualed . Gowda says mike looks great and
is growing at a very healthy rate.. we are so grateful
since he had so much radiation to the torso and hips
through the mid-theigh. we have always watched his
growing..so far so good! he is 4 ft 9 inches and 74 lbs.

Ty-Michael also saw Dr.Gowda the peds dr. that is his
primary doctor.. strange to have his oncologist and his
pediatric care dr share the same name.. i think they are
somehow related . Dr.Gowda that he saw on monday was
for one of Michaels little accidents.. he was playing
red light green light and had himself a crash..landing on a
possibe rusted nail..summer camp called and said he needed
to go to the doctor and he will also need a tetnus shot!!
All and all the visit went well ..
WE should call him Bubble Boy!

"TEN FEET TALL AND BULLET PROOF!"

"I LOOKED DEATH IN THE FACE AND LAUGHED AT IT,
TODAY I WILL LIVE, NOTHING WILL EVER HURT ME"
quoted by Ty-Michael age 10.

Peace and Love to you all!
Happy Fathers day to all you DAD's

i love you pop!

Love Audra

Saturday, May 22, 2004 7:41 AM CDT

The 1st Hobe Sound Relay For Life was a amazing event. Its still hard to imagine we are there because our child is a cancer survivor. (THANK GOD) ! The night proved to be as emotional as ever, I lit 10 candles that’s 7 angels and 3 survivors/fighters .. as I wrote the names on the beautifully decorated luminara bags I thought of each child and there family my heart ached for each one. The teams there to support the American Cancer Society were awesome. I am so grateful for the time they have all invested to help find a CURE for all cancers!

We met a lot of people last night.. many who did not know about the CANCER SUCKS CLUB ! I wore my button and had several in my pocket ..when I tried to attach Ty-Michaels sash it was three times too big ( he was the only child survivor there) so I pulled a cancer sucks club button out and pinned his sash. It was perfect .. the little man represented all of the members! Well Ty-Michael gave away every button in the first 15 minuets we were there. Unfortunately I did not have more, so many people wanted buttons.

Next week is the last week of school actually only four days left. The kids are really looking forward to summer break. I wish I did not have to work so much so I could enjoy the summertime fun with them. The beach sounds like a great place to be!

Next week Ty also sees Dr. Gowda. Just for a check up the normal check up finger poke, height ,weight , clowing around with the doctor and the important physical. I am not worried as Ty has been so healthy. He is growing like a weed!

I will update Friday after the doctor visit!

Sunday, May 16, 2004 8:59 AM CDT

i can not believe its been so long since my last update.
but no news is usually good news!

ty is doing great , growing like a weed physically and spirtually. his additude on life i find amazing ..his additude with me ..well lol he is ty-michael!

Ty scored extreamly high on his FCAT. we are very proud of him. looking back to the week of testing,ty had been in west virgina with daddy and missed the first two days of testing so he had to make the test up..he did not require any "extra" time. i was shocked!

yesterday was football sign ups..it was great .. a little draining on the old bank account but very worth it. we all love the time we share at the football field. granted we do end up at the emergency room a couple times each season but the kids dont complaine much lol .
Yesterday we were also givin the first of four fund raisers .. a discount card for a bunch of local business.. we were given 10 for $10 each.. i was like great (sigh)..well we were home about an hour and ty and alex came in and handed me 80.00. WOW little sales men already.. that makes me sooo proud!! there ready to go get a bunch more for the kids who dont do so well... because they dont get thier uniform until they turn in there money... (kinda dumb) but uniforms are expensive.

All else is fine here.. mike sees dr Gowda next week for check up and blood test normal test. no scans yet..thank god! we re scan him again in september ... that seams so far away! ...then again it seems like only yesterday we found out ty had cancer ..its been almost five years, geesh!

Its been pretty sad couple of weeks on the caring bridge ring.. too many kids are loosing there fight..too many more are joining our rings of support. Im glad that we are here able to support eachother as much as possible. But it still breaks my heart everyday. Each time i hear of another relapse my heart stops and my brain races. its unfair for everyone.

We went to the rapids on mothersday...it was wonderful...
motherday around here usually sux. its a day of mourning and horrible images of my baby brothers death, this year i refused to be sad and decided that a day haveing fun relaxing in the sun and just everyone being together as a family would be much nicer. it was... i think from now on that will be the way we spend the "dreaded days"!
i still dont know how my mother makes it through the days and long nights. she seems to have found some peace ..i still have not even begun.
My brother has been gone nine years now may the 14th is the actual day but it just happened to be mothersday the day he was murdered, i blocked out alot from that day and the next three days or so... i couldnt feel or face it ,i had to be the strong one for the family crack the jokes be a little silly ..well it has back fired on me this year ... early friday morning at 4 am i woke up hearing the phone ring.bringing me back nine years..it was my dad he didnt sound right..he was telling me i have to get to my mom..that it was bad... nickys been shot get to your mom now.. i think from there life was spinning..it was like something out of a horrible story going through the motions.. when my dad had called that afternoon may 14 1995 i was on the phone with my mom.. i clicked over to him so then when i tried to call mom i couldnt get to her because she still had my other line, dads life partner lisa was on the other line with mom while dad called me, i was in a state of panic i couldnt get to her.. finally somehow i was able to get through ..she answered the phone she was silent .. mom..mom are you there.. then only a scream...she screamed over and over they killed my baby.. i dont think i will ever get that out of my head.. i went next door and told my sister nicks been shot we have to get to mom (who lived in boca 45 mins away) she fell on the floor screaming.. i kinda just stood there looking at her hearing my mother on the other end of the phone screaming and hearing the silence of my father all at the same time.. my sisters husband took jacki and they went and got mom..i guess during this time my brother was in surgery for several hours .. as of friday i remember so much.i rember calling my best friend in CT. (thats where he was killed) telling her , asking her to watch the news. asking her to find out the details.. it was too late..he died in surgery they couldnt fix the damage from five bullets. he slipped away.. i rember telling mom over and over that he was ok..that he was going to be fine.. hes a malone.. he doesnt have a choice he will be fine.. well actually he ended up better than fine he ended up in heaven where he will be perfect forever.. i am not fine or ok...my mother well she is better most of the time. i think that i am permentaly scared from the scream of a mothers loss.. i fear that scream i hear it as if it was yesterday. I dont know if life will ever be the same! His memorial was strange.. beautiful , i dont rember seeing anyone..i read the guestbook a few years ago and was shocked to see all that were there for us, im sorry i blocked out those important days, not that i want to live them again but i know my heart would hurt alot less today if i had allowed it to hurt then.
I guess in time the healing will come the understanding of it all will be there and hopefully i will be able to go through life and not hear that scream from my mother. I know this is part of why i have such an emotional hard time everytime we loose a child or face another relapse,
MOTHERS ARE NOT SUPOSED TO LOOSE THERE BABIES

Saturday, April 10, 2004 10:03 AM CDT

The Chosen Mothers
By Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, and a few by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for progagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew"
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia"
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint Greard"
Finally, He passes a name to the angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly,"smiles God, "could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But, does she have patience?"asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she will handle it."
"I watched her today," said God. "She has that feeling of self independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she believes in you," said the angel.
"No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occassionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman I will bless with a child that is less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see....ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.
God smiles and says..."A mirror will suffice."


I've read this so many times and I think it just makes us cancer moms stronger!

I READ THIS ON ANOTHER CHILDS PAGE TODAY.. I THINK IT IS PERFECT

IT MUST BE KINDA CROWDED ON THE STREETS OF HEAVEN

Tuesday, March 30, 2004 6:57 PM CST

Today was our visit with Dr. Anthony Bufo. Any one who may know this man, Knows he is the best pediatric surgeon and a walking angel. We love this guy! I truly believe that without
Dr. Bufo Ty-Michael would not have survived. Tony has performed 14 of 15 surgeries on Ty. So yeah there is major trust factor there!!

Ty was seeing Dr. Bufo because he has been having a lot of pain in his abdomen. The nasty old scar tissue again. Ty was really wanting to have the surgery to remove the scar tissue. His quality of life is slightly diminished due to this. He has a lot of pain his abdomen, when he sleeps or tries to bend over. Also when he is hungry the G-tube sucks in and that also causes him to have discomfort. So all these long-term side effects of radiation are not near as bad as what he has already been through.
The surgery would have been major, hip-to-hip, again. Lots of recovery time (at least 6 weeks or more). But that would be the easy part.
Tony said that with the amount of scar tissue and the max amount of radiation he went through, that removing the scar tissue would most likely cause his body to grow twice as much scar tissue and to top that off he would most likely need a colostomy bag. That would really ruin his quality of life! Remember he is a star football player!
So Ty isn’t really happy about this, all he could think about was getting the pain out of his belly. Tonight we will have to explain to him in great detail why his doctor doesn’t want to do the surgery. I think once we tell him everything he wont be so disappointed. Can you imagine a kid wanting to have surgery??

On a better note, we received the boy’s report cards this past week. Ty got straight B’s and one A + and of course the one check mark for talking too much!
Alex received all C’s and one B no check marks so as far as we can tell he is doing wonderful in school and is going to have his middle school orientation. How exciting is that!?!
Tim /daddy will be at the meeting. I wish I could be there, but I have to work. And I took half a day off today for mikes doctor appointment. I am so lucky to have him for a future husband.

Following along with the children we hold so dear to our hearts I have some updates, Katia is getting better everyday we are so proud of you baby girl. What a wonderful strong family.

Sadly Maxie has moved on to heaven. His family is hurting so much today. The planning of your son’s funeral must be the worst thing in the world to do. I don’t even want to find out. Please say some extra uplifting prayers for all of them.

There are so many kids its almost unbelievable how many there are. Again I never knew of this huge cancer linked community. There isn’t enough web space to list them all. I would like to thank all the parents and children out there for their updates.

Thank you god for today

Peace to all
Audra.

Thursday, March 25, 2004 6:56 PM CST

As my mother would say “your mind is your worst nightmare”

First I want to thank Jennifer for your words of encouragement !
I am defiantly having a battle with my “faith” as I drove past church last night the sign read “ god only promises a safe landing not a calm passage”. At this I laughed and said “ain’t that the truth” and that “ I did not like that sign !” life has been far from calm or settled. I do have faith and trust in god, I just feel I will never understand “the big picture” or why “everything happens for a reason” I guess it’s the reason I just don’t get!
I also know that heaven is a beautiful place and I cant wait to see my baby brother again . And so many others..

I read a lot of pages … so many of you have so much strength and courage. I see pure faith and trust. I see mothers who have watched there child pass on to heaven and still there post is so positive.
A favorite of mine Miss Lady Bug and her momma have been in the hospital over 215 days straight, yet her post is awesome I actually race to the computer each morning and every night to check on how there day was. praying everyday, that counts rise and healthy blood grows instead of nasty leukemia cells.

Then there is Jake, Maxie, Kyle , Savannah, baby Cam and unfortunately the list goes on and on . The posts that we read on a daily basis are so heartbreaking . I just don’t understand the “big picture”

I want Ty-Michael to grow up, to get married have children graduate ..ok not in that order but I know you understand. I do understand that kids die everyday of other things than cancer and its not right. But with cancer its like someone hung a big neon sign over his head , and a big question mark over mine! Why?

I argue the point that just because I question “why “ does not mean I don’t have faith and I do believe. (However, Im afraid I wouldn’t live through loosing my child) . I find a lot of strength in reading. Even if my husband disagrees with me ! Yes even he thinks I feel to much. That I am consumed with cancer that I cant go a day without mentioning someone else’s child or reading about “yet another relapse”
I did not choose this path in life I did not choose to have friends who’s children were all fighting for there life and there parents for some sanity for one more day one more hour one more breath. Hell I didn’t even know kids really got cancer till 11-11-99 . ok yes I did watch the CMN telethons I don’t live under a rock but I had no clue that there was a whole little (huge) community of little people fighting for there lives. I am now a part of all that… I love my friends and there children ..as much as all this sucks I wouldn’t change any of them.

I was apparently chosen to be the “strong mother” of a little boy who has some major event planned in his bright future his daddy the foundation of our family standing at his side every minute..

I don’t know how any of this happened to us or you or anyone for that matter… prime example .. walk the track at the next relay for life in your town count the bags look at the lights spelling out HOPE..
Did anyone there really choose to put there loved ones name there?? NOPE! So WHY??
As I have said before .. when I get to heaven there will just be a long line waiting behind me so I can have all these why’s answered.

A WHY does not = lack of faith! It is a lack of understanding.

Saturday, March 20, 2004 10:59 AM CST

some days i come here to write and i am at a loss for words...other days i am so confused and hurt that i dont dare write in the journal for fear that other people may take my fears as "over-protective or obsessive" both are true ! i will never have another day in my life that i wont fear cancer. and i will never live a full day without shedding a tear for the life we have lost and for the many children who have been taken so crueley from there parents.
and obsivve well ... thats a givin ... we didnt know ty was sick and his tumor was the size of a volly ball... i think i will forever questiion how we could not know it was there!!!!

alot is going on right on ... as usual its getting closeer to ty-michaels dr apointment and he is haveing some problems. one is that he isnt eating very well .. the others are pain in his abdomen and when he moves he has what he calls a ball in his belly that he can push on and then he doesnt feel it anymore.. i asked him to touch his toes and he could not do that without being in alot of pain . i will remaiin as possitive as i can and remeber he has been having issues with scar tissue and necrosis of the scar tissue and kidney stich. i will not even think the "R" word and definaly not the "C" word!
ty also has a bad cough that wont go away ..im praying thats allergies.

now ii guess that maybe if i liveed the normal parent life style with out the fear of cancer i would think he has a belly ache and a cold.. i dont think i will ever find a comfort zone without fear.

manyy of our friends are struggleing .. too many i dont even know where y to start.. please pray for all the kids and parents they need lots of encouragement and love..

i have a personal issue that is caused by ty's cancer . .. i never know what to say in when a friends child is not winning this battle and there being called home to the lord. im told its the most wonderful place ever ..but our children belong here with us. i feel so many mixed emotions... fear that its going to happen to us ...(the waiting and gut
wrenching pain of watching your child die a horrible death) lack of control ( i may be mommy but i cant fix this boo boo) also struggle with all the whys ?!?!?!?! i keep hearing there is a reason for all of this,... for the life of me i cant figure that out.and that is where survivor guilt comes in, not guilt that my child is still healthy but the guilt that i dont know why the chemo was able to kill the cancer in my baby boy and not good enough to safe every child.

at this very moment i am reading posts from three different famillys .. one is jake his brain tumor /necrosis of the brain is going to take his life very soon . two is maxie ..maxie has the same kind of cancer mike had . i read his page and cry ,this is so unfair. the other was a little girl names abby she left for heaven last week. i can just not imagine how her parents are feeling ..because i am crushed and i only know her through caring bridge.

i try very hard to not let all of this get to me .. not to let it bring me down and try to remeber that this is all "NORMAL" (yeah right) that we knew we were going to meet alot of other children who will win or loose there battle. however no one ever told me it would hurt this much. im told to relax and not let this drive me insane.. thats so much easier said than done.. i wake up crying and i cry myself to sleep..yup life is normal!

now those of you who feel that i have an ungrateful additude are very wrong . i am so extreamly grateful but i do have heart that has always felt the pain of others. and sure i could stop reading the CB pages but, i also find hope and love there and laughter and tears. CB has been a wonderful supporrt ring for me. EVEN IF I AM A LURKER!

i will update again soon .. mike sees anthony bufo on the 30th for a check up and a check of his "ball" pray for scar tissue!

love audra

thanks for keeping us in your prayers!

Thursday, March 11, 2004 6:49 PM CST

Life is going great here is sunny South Florida. Ty and Alex are doing great in school … report cards come out in a few more days so we will see how broke I am …5 bucks a A can add up fast when the boy has been on honor roll all year! .. Ty really loves school and learning.
F-cats were last week and our house was defiantly under the stress of testing. Alex tries so hard and gets the special attention he needs but that didn’t stop him from waking up every night worried and afraid he wont pass the test. poor guy.. I know he did great .i just know it!

Alex has surprised us all with his musical ability .. he can play the piano and the flute. His daddy taught him the piano. Its much easier on the ears than the flute (lol) . he plays with all his heart. Last night I lay in bed listening to him play . I was thinking he must be so wrapped in the music to be playing so great . well I go into his room and he is laying in his bed not even looking at the key board. Playing like a professional.

Ty –Michaels health seems to be great… he has a cough that just wont go away but other than that he is growing normal and other than his behavior he is almost perfect lol . Ty has found a way to get himself into trouble every chance he gets .. it has been intresting watching his personality change and develop . I know that all the little impossible things he does today as a 10 yr old are going to be awesome qualities as a man and a father. He has a great roll model with Tim as a dad . parenting doesn’t get any better than him. I wish I had the patience he has! Maybe someday I will have a pinky full .

Football will be starting real soon .. Coach Tim has his first meeting next week. I am so happy he is so involved in there sports. I really feel it makes a child perform 100 % better when there is a parent or a major support there at all times. Tim wasn’t sure he was going to coach again this year .. haha you know as soon as they called he lit up like a little kid. I will say it again I really feel we have more fun then all the kids out there. Were football junkies!!

Speaking of football … the TBBBB party is coming up in a few weeks. This party is a fund raiser for C.M.N . we will spend the weekend in Tampa camping out . then the party is a huge get together of the bucs fans and some players or cheerleaders . this is the fourth year wich also means Ty is working on year four of cancer free life. November will be 5 years since diagnosis .. thank god for these years we have had and the many to follow.

We are far from over this fight … but we are enjoying every day together!

please pray for miss katia soloman she is doing great and is 100% donor cells. praise god!

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 10:40 PM CST

******************************************************************************UPDATE** TIMS SISTER LYNN IS AWAKE AND OFF THE LIFE SUPPORT. SHE IS FAR FROM OUT OF THE WOODS ..BUT THANKFULLY IT LOOKS LIKE SHE IS A GREAT FIGHTER !!

I STILL DONT KNOW WHEN TIM AND TY WILL BE HOME BUT THEY ARE DEFINATLEY COLD!! **SO ARE WE @ 49 DEG YUCK! **

STILL NO NEWS FROM PATHOLIGY GUESS THERE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME INSANE..TEST RESULTS SUCK!
***************************************






i guess the phrase "life happends" is truley the only way to describe life around here.

let me start by saying that ty-michael is great , he is doing alot of things right now that he has only dreamed of ( i will come back to this) and appears to be healthy as can be. i stoped counting the hours and minuets since last chemo..so things must be good!

well our family has been through a rough week or so.. now that i am ok (most likely) i will post that yet again the fear of cancer has returned ... only with me again instead of michael. i found a lump,had a momo and ultrasound and a needle biopsey today. it looks good. but i will need to do this again in three months..yuck but of course the doctor needs to check and make sure it didnt change.. for today i will not fear cancer!

even worse news.. tims sister had a massive heart attack on sunday morning .. she has been on life support and full vent. the removal tests have all failed..but there going to keep trying to remove the heart pump and vent... she still has not waken up. tim and ty-michael went to west virginia to be with his familyduring this time . please say lots of prayers for lynn and there entire family. ** lynn is much younger than my timmy**

ok... now i am going back to tell you what ty is doing ... well the little bugger went with tim to his sister in west virgina .. the two set off last night and headed to the mountains. at 8 am they stoped and took a nap before tim passed out... then they were back off. well as tim is driving higher into the mountains its clear that there is still alot of snow!! ty michael has been begging to go see snow his whole life... well he was asleep at the time tim found piles of it on the side of the highway ( ha highway,ever seen deliverance lol) .. he pulled over tells me he has an emergency and proceds to have a snow ball fight with his boy. ty is sooo very excited about the snow. but he agrees ..."yup its cold mom"

thats not all..... ty's uncle josh is a young man with a great since of adventure.. storm chasing,gator watching you know guy stuff.. well josh went to the keys for the weekend and mike told him to catch a gator for him and bring it back....well when josh returned he had a gator story for mike... however he couldnt bring it home to him "cause its against the law" ..... so these two decided that while ty was away he would catch a wild turkey for uncle josh. well that was his mission for the trip. he took his jack knife and talked of building a sling shot..then ... somewhere is the carolinas there were several wild turkeys on the side of the street.. tim being the cool dad stoped the car and let mike check it all out .. of course he couldnt bring his uncle josh the turkey cause its against the law and he doesnt have a hunting permit*wink*.. tim did take pictures so at least he can show us the turkeys! so this was only the first 24 hours of ty and tims trip. i hope the two of them find many wild adventures.this is great bonding time for them . ...**they may be spending alot of time at the walmart for warm clothes!!** hehehehe ..

again please pray for his sister and there entire family. every voice is heard!

also i have been surfing a few pages .. there are alot of kids out there that need your prayers also. please pray for a cure !

Wednesday, February 4, 2004 1:03 AM CST

What a day today turned out to be! Where do i even begin??

Today was doctor appointment day in our household. Sieharra
had to see her doctor,Alex needed to see his peds doctor just
for a regular check-up and i had two separate doctors
appointments. Sounds like a crazy day to start with... well!!! The
little Schmidt did it again, Ty-Michael somehow while running
track at school on a asphalt track fell and hit the back of his
head..yes i did say the back.. not the forehead face etc. things
you think would have hit the pavement first.. Nope not when Ty
is involved! lol The school nurse called me around 10;30 and
luckily i was just heading to the interstate to head south for all
the dr visits. she said he was hurting pretty bad and had road
rash on the back of his head .. he also was seeing "purple
spots" everywhere he looked. This isn't really a good sign .. i
turned around and went to the school so i could take him to the
peds doctor ..heck we were going there already!

alex appointment went great.. 77 lb. healthy.. check up checked
out great!
Ty had large dialated pupils that didn't really want to respond
to the light the doctor was shining in his eyes. she said to go to
the emergency room right away ... we went and he has a
concussion.. we are on "wake up" duty tonight ..every two hours
.. i wasn't real worried about this accident and he had a
CT.scan. during the time we were waiting the doctor came in and
said he was thinking he should keep Ty for observation..Ty said
..No IV'S !! the doctor said he would view the scan and check
him again before he made the decision to keep him or let me
take my injured soldier home.
well the scan came back with no signs of a bleed which is
awesome. and no cracked skull which is also great! Ty michael
..knowing the procedure of head injury care said well no blood
no breaks no problem im otta here. Poor doctor was given an
entire medical lesions on everything from blood pressure to
cancer chemo and radiation's, he even spelled
RHABDOMYOSARCOMA (whew big word) for the doctor.. so
when Ty said im going the doctor said to take him home and
just monitor him through out the night im sure he knows more
than any of us here ! *** is this a good thing?***

he ate a great dinner played around with daddy a bit opened his
birthday presents and off to bed he went. he seems ok to me!

yesterday Ty turned 10 .. it was also the first time that he had
ever been at home alone... my cell phone rang in from home so i
expected to hear timmy..when i hear my little man asking if i
knew where dad was ?? O.M.G instant panic..never alone OMG
.. he said he was fine so i told him no cooking to just clean up
his room and read a book. He was so ok with this.. being home
alone ha i had massive panic.. well he did fine ..dad was about
20 mins late and mike was in his room just fine when tim got
home from work. Will there ever be a time where i know my
child is safe? will he ever be left home alone with out total
panic from me?(20 mins lol) . i don't have a answer and i don't
know what the AGE is to cut that string to independence i just
know 10 or not im not ready!
Everyone keeps saying that they were home alone since 8,9,10
what ever ... i was also... then i watch the news and a 11 yr
old girl was abducted ... we cant even let our children outside.
ty's cancer made me very scared of everything and very aware
of how close tragedy can really be.

can you tell that this child is a pure challenge??
ok he is also the coolest person i have ever met as well as the
funniest meanest cutest little bugger that ever lived .. yes he is
TY-MICHAEL!

this coming saturday we are going to FAU for a CMN Dance
Marathon. this is the third year we are attending. The students
will be required to stand up as well as dance play games and eat
plenty from 6 pm till 11 am . last year alex stayed up all night ,
Ty and i snoozed about 2 hours total!
This year we will have with us Sieharra and Joshua this should
add to the fun. im sure these two will love the dance and the
stay up all night is even cooler... ahhh to be a teenager again
NOT!

well i must go wake the child and ask him questions..

do you know where you are?? yeah mom in my bed trying to
sleep ..but you wont leave me alone!

are you still seeing spots?? NO mom i cant see anything WHEN
im asleep!!

do you need to go to the bathroom??? MOM you better not
get mad at me when im too tired and grumpy for school
tomorrow .l need sleep!!!

im guessing he is going to be just fine!

i have a major prayer request.. miss Katia has just finished the
pre transplant chemo and is about to receive her "new blood"
from a cord donor. the match is not perfect she needs lots of
prayers he mom needs strength and courage..she has lots of
faith and hope!

please visit her
www.caringbridge.com/fl/katia_leukemiapage

thank you

lots of love ..
audra

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
MIKE ,CEE CEE , AND NURSE BRENDA!

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 6:35 PM CST

Happy Wednesday

Hope this update finds everyone in good health .

All is well here. Ty received his report card and made honor roll again. We are very proud of how well he is doing in school. His teacher thinks he is a real charmer. I am not surprised he has so many little girls chasing him around and daddy went great lengths to make sure his boys were respectable and caring .. I think that had a lot to do with them growing up watching Elvis and Little Abner as well as Andy Griffith . I am proud to admit that both our boys as wild as they can be are sure to open doors, hold hands and do just about every romantic gesture imaginable. Its so very cute!

Ty –Michael will be turning 10 on February 2nd . I cant believe it . sometimes it feels like only yesterday when we started on this journey. In reality its been 4 years now.. 4 years 3 months and 10 days to be exact.. but who’s counting?
Ty has requested a small party ... just family and a trip to a festival in Ft.Lauderdale it’s a great event kings and queens jousting and the rides are elephant rides and camel rides . It is defiantly interesting . He will be attending the kings feast where he will dine with the king. And then ,special seating with the king for the jousting match. We are all very excited .
Ty will also have the traditional dinner and cake /ice cream cake at me ma’s house. He has not asked for a single gift . well that’s not exactly true he wants a BIG SNAKE!!! I told him he would have to grow up and get his own apartment first!
“I am a mean mommy” lol

I have been following several children and there web pages . it is so hard to face the reality of all that these children and there families must endure. Did we really walk this walk? HOW???

One child a sweet little lady bug Katia is about to start the bone marrow process. This is something I have no experience with , ty never had one . but I know the basics. Please keep this sweetheart and her family in your prayers .
Zachary well he seems to be a walking miracle ! he is still fighting and will continue to for a long time . but he has showed these doctors that cant is not in his dictionary and he continues to thrive . he also has a great way of keeping his parents on there toes! You go Z-man!
I think if I sat here and listed all the children I read about and the strength and courage they all have I would be typing for days . very sad to say.

I find myself attached to many children I don’t even know, I feel the anguish of mothers who are left without there beautiful angel . children as young as they are left to mourn there childhood and teenagers who give life a new meaning .
How did we get here? That is the question of the hour !

I have had to make some personal decisions of late. Seems that no matter how far we have come and how long mike has been cancer free it’s a fear and emotion that consumes me. Sometimes to the point I get physically ill. I try to separate myself I try to think of all the positives . I try to think of all the wonderful days we have had with our child. Listen to his laughter and his brotherly fights. Learn so many things from this child about god life death and living . so many things about ty I wouldn’t change for the world. His understanding is amazing to me. I am a “grown up” and I don’t understand the “big Picture” ty has no fear no regrets no worry’s .
So what I have had to do is separate myself as much as possible from cancer . I have had to move forward and replace the fear with blinders . cancer will never leave our minds and there will never be a day that goes by that I wont fear its return, but I have to find out that life today is all I have. All any of us have. A nine year old boy has taught me that .
As I was reading a page the other night on a child who passed rather quick from complications ty came in the room and said “mom who are you reading about?” I told him a little boy went to live in heaven with Quinten. Well this little boy of mine gave me a hug a juicy kiss on the cheek and said “ mommy you have to stop hurting yourself you cant save the world you know” .. he is right he is nine he is a survivor he is my baby boy. And he happends to be way smarter than me. Go figure!
So to all our friends we are still here cheering you on praying for all of you . praying for a cure . we will never be far. I will continue to check pages and even update mikes page . however, for my own personal sanity I must take yet another step away. I love all of you . please don’t forget to check in on all our hero’s

Finding life on life’s terms… living today as free as possible .. finding the smile through the tears !

Thank you for always being a part of our journey!

Love always
Audra , Tim , Alex and Ty-Michael Schmidt.

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 3:29 PM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

EVERYTHING IS FINE IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS. TY SEE'S DR GOWDA ON MONDAY FOR PHYSICAL NOTHING NEW TO WORRY ABOUT THANK GOD! HE IS HEALTHY AND DOING GREAT IN SCHOOL.

IM SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN AWHILE ..I READ EVERY DAY YET RARELY POST. IM A MAJOR LURKER! HEY I ADMIT IT!

THE EMOTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN FLOWING THROUGH CARINGBRIDGE THIS MONTH OF DECEMBER ARE HEARTBREAKING..SO MANY CHILDREN HAVE LOST THERE BATTLE.SO MANY NEW KIDS JOINING US HERE PARENTS AND FAMILIES FIGHTING FOR A CURE. WE PRAY THAT THIS NEW YEAR BRINGS A CURE.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL OF THE CHILDREN AND THERE PARENTS

Saturday, December 13, 2003 0:12 AM CST

HELLO .

WE HAVE THE RESULTS!!!! TY-MICHAEL IS CANCER FREE AND THE WATER POCKET WAS NOT VISABLE..

HOWEVER DR.BUFO SAID HE WILL READ THE SCANS HIMSELF ON TUESDAY. SO THE DEFINATE ALL CLEAR WILL BE DELAYED TILL TUESDAY AFTERNOON!

HOW MANY EMOTIONS CAN ONE FEEL AT THE SAME TIME?
I FEEL HAPPY FOR MICHAEL
AND SAD FOR THE NEW CHILD DIAGNOSED

I FEEL SO EXCITED ABOUT TOMOMROW
I FEAR EVERY SUNRISE AND SUNSET

I FEEL ELATED THAT MY BOY WEARS A PURPLE SURVIVOR SASH
I FEEL GUILT WHEN I KNOW A FRIENDS CHILD HAS EARNED THERE WINGS.

AS A PARENT TRY TO THINK ABOUT ALL THE TECHNICAL /CLINICAL ASPECTS OF CHILDHOOD CANCER.. IT TOTALY SUCKS!

WELLIT IS VERY LATE AND WERE UP EARLY TO GO SEE BROTHER BEAR WITH MY MOM ,AUNTIE DONNA AND SIEHARRA SOON TO BE 15 (YIKES)..DEC 21ST ..HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS PRAYED FOR MICHAEL AND ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN ON THIS JOURNEY..
WE COULD NOT MAKE IT WITHOUT YOU!

THANK YOU GOD FOR HEARING MY PRAYERS FOR CLEAN SCANS .."SHOUT TO THE LORD"!

Sunday, December 7, 2003 3:54 PM CST

THREE DAYS AND COUNTING...I HATE SCANS ,I HATE SCAN,I HATE CANCER ...

TODAY I HAVE GETTING MORE AND MORE CRAZY AS THE DAY GOES ON AND I KNOW THAT SCANS ARE REALLY JUST HOURS AWAY..ABOUT 52 TO BE EXACT! I HATE TO WAIT!

I JUST FOUND OUT ANOTHER CHILD HAS RELAPSED A FRIEND'S SON.I FEEL SO ANGRY AND TERRIFIED ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENDS..WHAT IS TRULEY THE LESSION HERE?? I KNOW ALL MY QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED ONE DAY AS I STAND AT THE GATE OF HEAVEN AND NOT MOVE FORWARD UNTIL EVERY "WHY" HAS AN ANSWER!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY !!

LAST NIGHT WAS KINDA STRANGE...I WAS WRITING OUT THE CHRISTMAS CARDS AND IN THE BOX OF ENVELOPES AND ADDRESSES I FOUND SEVERAL PICTURES OF TY-MICHAEL WHILE HE WAS ON TREATMENT. I CANT NOT GET OVER THE CHANGE IN HIM..WHEN I FIRST SHOWED HIM THE PICTURE HE SAID "WHO IS THAT?" THEN SAID "OH I REMEBER THAT WAS WHEN I HAD RHABDOMYOSARCOMA". I LOOKED AT HIM THEN BACK AT HIS PICTURE THEN LOOKED AT HIM AGAIN. PEOPLE ASK ME EVERYDAY HOW TY HANDLED TREATMENT ASK HOW WE HANDLED IT ETC, NORMALLY I SAY HE BREEZED THROUGH IT AND JUST KEPT ON PLAYING ..THAT IS TRUE HE DID LAUGH AND PLAY AND BE IS WILD MAN SELF...BUT THERE WAS A LITTLE BOY BEHIND THAT BIG GRIN THAT WAS SO INCREABLY SICK. SO FRAIL SO THIN SO BALD (I LIKED THE BALD HEAD) .. HOW DID WE EVER REALLY LIFE THAT YEAR? HOW DID WE LITTERALLY SPEND AN ENTIRE YEAR IN THE HOSPITAL AND STILL BELIEVE TY HANDLED HIS TREATMENT JUST GREAT? I GUESS OUR BRAIN HAS A WAY OF SAVING THE BEST MEMORIES AND TRY TO FORGET THE UGLINESS OF REALITY!

TY-MICHAEL WILL HAVE SCANS ON WEDNESDAY MORNING ..WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE "WATER POCTED" TO HAVE MOVED ON ...WE DO NOT WANT ANY MORE COLLECTION OF FLUID AND WE DO NOT WANT TO SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT TUMOR GROWTH.. PLEASE JUST THIS ONE TIME LET THE SCANS COME BACK FINE..LET ME HEAR THAT HE IS PERFECT .. EVERY SINGLE TIME WE HAVE DONE SCANS THERE HAS BEEN SOME SORT OF ISSUE...I HATE CANCER ! I HATE THE FEAR THAT I FEEL TONIGHT ..

PLEASE PRAY FOR CLEAN SCANS FOR TY AS WELL AS ZACHARY FOR ALL OF OUR BABIES.

CANCER SUX CANCER SUX CANCER SUX CANCER SUX CANCER SUX!

Sunday, November 30, 2003 2:59 PM CST

DEAR FRIENDS,
TODAY SEEMS TO BE A DAY OF REFLECTION FOR ME, I SIT HERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THE LAST FOUR YEARS OF OUR LIFE HAS GONE. SOMEDAYS IT FEELS AS IF WE HAVE ONLY JUST STARTED THIS JOURNEY OTHER DAYS IT FEELS LIKE ITS BEEN LIFE LONG NIGHTMARE.

TY-MICHAEL HAS SCANS NEXT WEEK AND THAT ALWAYS BRINGS OUT THE SCARED TO DEATH FEELINGS IN ME. TY HOWEVER HAS NO FEAR .. HE HAS SAID MANY OK TOO MANY TIMES THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENDS TO HIM HE IS SO EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO HEAVEN AND MEETING GOD. ( I PERSONALLY DONT LIKE HIM SAYING THAT) ..BUT THIS IS A GOOD WAY FOR HIM TO FEEL .. HE HAS NO FEAR OF RELAPSE AND THE ONLY THING THAT HE IS WORRIED ABOUT IS ME! SWEET HUH? HE WORRIES THAT I WONT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT AGAIN AND MOSTLY STRONG ENOUGH TO LET HIM GO..( IF WE EVER GOT TO THAT POINT).. HE HAS SAID MANY TIMES T HAT HE IS READY AND I AM THE ONE WHO WILL HAVE TO GET USED TO IT,I FEEL ITS SO WRONG THAT A NINE YEAR OLD LITTLE BOY KNOWS SO MUCH. AND IS SO IN TUNE WITH LIFE AND DEATH THAT HE KNOWS WHERE THE REAL PEACE IS FOUND ONLY IN GODS ARMS. I WISH THERE WAS A WAY FOR ME TO ACCEPT NOT ONLY THE CANCER AND THE CHANGES IN OUR LIVES SINCE 11-11-99 BUT HIS KNOWLEDGE.

TODAY WE STARTED TO SET UP OUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ..TY WANTED TO GO TO OUR FRIEND QUENTINS GRAVE AND PUT LIGHTS AND A LITTLE TREE THERE FOR HIM. OUR PA PA LEFT US TWO YEARS AGO AND MIKE STILL SENDS HIM BALLOONS EVERY CHANCE HE GETS . I KNOW SOME HOW THIS BOY WAS COUNCLED BY ANGELS WHEN HE WAS SO SICK , I KNOW THAT JESUS GAVE HIM SOME INSIGHT SO HE WOULD HAVE NO FEAR FOR THE FUTURE AND WOULD LOOK FORWARD TO GOING HOME WHEN HIS TIME COMES. NOW SELFISH MOM NEEDS TO ALSO FIND HIS COMFORT LEVEL.. EVERY CHILD WE LEARN HAS PASSED WHO EARNED THERE ANGEL WINGS RIPS MY HEART APPART, I REALLY HAVE NO TRUE ACCEPTANCE . I SEEM TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS EVERYDAY BUT TILL MY DYING BREATH I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY HAVE TO SUFFER.

I READ PAGE AFTER PAGE OF WARRIORERS AS WELL AS ANGELS SOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF WEEPING FOR THE FAMILYS ... FAMILYS I HAVE NEVER MET OTHER THAN THROUGH CARING BRIDGE . EACH CHILD FEELS LIKE IT WOULD BE MINE ..EVERY TEAR SHED FROM THERE MOTHER I FEEL AND RELIVE MY WORST FEARS..WILL TY-MICHAEL FIGHT THIS BEAST AND WIN AND REMAIN IN REMISSION FOREVER?? WE PRAY THAT HE WILL..

TODAY I WATCH HIM GROW AND LAUGH AND BE QUITE THE LITTLE BUGGER... TEACHING SOME LITTLE KIDS HOW TO JUMP OUT OF A BIG OAK TREE..SWINGING ON THE BRANCHES... MY STOMACH IN KNOTS FROM PURE FEAR..HE SAID TODAY AS I SCOLDED HIM FOR NOT LISTENING AND CLIMBING TOO HIGH IN THE TREES ... MOM NOTHING CAN HURT ME.. I AM A SURVIVOR!
HE IS FOR SURE A SURVIVOR !

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY AND LETTING ME VENT A LITTLE ... I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF SO MANY CHILDREN AND EVEN ADULTS WHOS LIFE HAS BEEN RIPPED AWAY BY SOME BEAST CALLED CANCER!!

CANCER SUCKS CANCER SUCKS CANCER REALLY SUCKS!!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 11:51 PM CST

AS I CHASED MY LITTLE WILD MAN OFF TO BED TONIGHT AND WATCHED HIM CLOWN AROUND AND JUMP ON HIS BED LIKE A LITTLE KUNG FU FIGHTER COULDN'T HELP BUT STOP AND THINK OF ALL THE MOTHERS AND FATHERS WHO PRAY SO HARD FOR EACH MEMORY TO REMAIN ETCHED IN THERE MINDS AND HEARTS FOREVER.
AS I LEARN OF ANOTHER CHILD PASSING I FEEL TOTALLY BROKEN HEARTED . I KNOW NOW AFTER FOUR YEARS OF THIS THAT I WILL NEVER ACCEPT OUR CHILDREN HAVING TO FIGHT THIS DRAGON AND THEN TO BE TAKEN TO HEAVEN (YES WHERE WE ALL BELONG) WAY BEFORE THERE TIME.

I READ MANY PAGES .. SOME TO MAKE ME LAUGH ..SOME THAT REALLY TOUCH THE CORE OF MY HEART AND SHOW ME ABOUT LIVING AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO MAKE ME SIT BACK AND HUMBLY CRY. ALL OF YOU PARENTS AND FAMILY MEMBERS THAT ARE READING THESE PAGES DO SO BECAUSE THE FIGHT OF OUR CHILDREN HAS LED YOU IN THIS DIRECTION. WE ARE ALL VERY THANKFUL THAT WE HAVE THIS EXTENDED FAMILY .

CANCER SUCKS TOTALLY ... I DON'T THINK THERE ARE ANY BETTER WORDS TO DESCRIBE THAT.

I HAVE NOTICED ON SEVERAL PAGES THAT SCANS ARE IN THE NEAR FUTURE ... WE UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO JUMP THAT BAND WAGON AS WE HAVE SCANS THE FIRST WEEK OF DECEMBER... I THINK ITS KINDA GOOD WE CALL ALL GO CRAZY TOGETHER!!

I PRAY FOR ALL OF OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE CLEAN SCANS, EASY TIME WITH TREATMENT AND TIME IN THERE LITTLE LIFE TO ACT LIKE LITTLE KIDS. CANCER SUCKS AND LIFE IS UNFAIR!

***********************************
TY-MICHAEL IS HIS NORMAL WILD MAN SELF.. HE JUST STARTED WITH JUDO AND SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE IT , JUDO IS A GOOD WAY TO TEACH THEM BALANCE AND DISABLING ON AND OFF THE FOOTBALL FIELD!
TY'S GRADES WERE ALMOST PERFECT CHECK MARKS ONLY FOR TALKING TOOO MUCH! I HAVEN'T A CLUE WHERE HE GOT THAT TRAIT FROM!!

ALEX IS GIVING IT HIS ALL AT SCHOOL .. HE LANDER THE ROLE OF DONNER A REINDEER IN THE SCHOOL PLAY "COUCH POTATO SANTA" HE IS VERY INVOLVED AND DOING VERY WELL !

TIM AND I ARE IN LOVE THIS WEEK LOL WE ARE ACTUALLY DOING GREAT , WE ARE BOTH VERY happy AND INVOLVED IN OUT CHILDREN LIFE. I NEVER KNEW PARENTING COULD BE SO INTERESTING!

WELL I MUST HEAD OFF TO BED .. IM DRAINED..
WE LOVE YOU THAN YOU FOR STOPPING BY

AUDRA

Thursday, November 13, 2003 2:13 PM CST

OK HERE GOES!!

TY-MICHAEL HAS A MASSIVE SINUS INFECTION!!!! YEAH!!

HE WILL BE ON ANTIBIOTIC FOR SEVERAL WEEKS BUT HE REMAINS CANCER FREE...

NOW FOR ME I THINK A WEEK IN A PHSYCO WARD WILL DO ME SOME GOOD HAHAHA.. JUST KIDDING...

ITS SO HARD TO HANDLE THE SCANS THE NOT KNOWING AND THEN THE WAITING. TY HANDLES IT LIKE A CHAMP! TIM AND I TRY VERY HARD TO KEEP OUR HEADS AND HEART IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND NOT TO ALLOW OURSELFS TO BE OVERWHELMED . THAT I BELIEVE IS AN IMPOSSIBLE FEAT.. AS HIS PARENTS WE EMOTIONALLY BECOME SO DRAINED. THE LAST FEW DAYS OUR HEARTS FELT LIKE IT WAS A TRUE RELAPSE THIS TIME. EACH AND EVERY TIME IT FEELS WORSE.

WE ARE ALL SO VERY GRATEFUL THAT TY-MICHAEL IS STILL IN REMISSION.
TONIGHT WE WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL DINNER AND CELEBRATE.

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BYE . GOD BLESS

LOVE AUDRA,TIM ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL.

Sunday, November 9, 2003 9:50 AM CST

********************************************************************************
update #2 11-12-03
Ty has seen the optic surgen as well as the opthamologist (sp?) .. his vision is 20/20 this is not related to his eyes. we had an imeadiate CT scan of the brain/face and we now wait and see what the techs have to say.

just once in my sons life i would like to take him to the doctors and find out that he is perfect... i so cant stand that everytime he is seen by a doctor they find another "something" "false relapse" .. i pray for the strength to make it through this night waiting with anxiety so high .. do doctors not understand that this waiting time between bad results and the rescans retests and the rule out is as horrific as an actual relapse... we are freaked to say the least .. whatever Ty has brewing near his right eye on the cheek bone is visable to the naked eye... CANCER SUCKS CANCER SUCKS CANCER SUCKS!

PRAYING FOR CLEAN SCAN...
HOPE TO UPDATE SOON ..




***************************************
update 11-11-99
Well it looks like 11-11 may have struck again. We just returned home from the pediatrition and the news was not good. Mike has been having some vision issues and tomorrow he will have to see a optic surgen. His right eye is buuldgeing and well the doctor hasnt said relapse or cancer but it was written all over his face.. i will update tomorrow after he sees the surgen


3 yrs 363 days ...
This is how long our its been since our life was changed by one giant word "CANCER" . RHABDOMYOSARCOMA IV.

Its so hard to believe that we have learned so much about life and medicine as well as death and dispar. We have learned to grow together as a family able to fight against some horrible beast who is lurking in the back ground ..in the far reaches of our minds we remember the torment the pain and the shock that we faced on 11-11-99. I can honestly say much of the details have faded . Yes I remember the entire protocol the 54 weeks of aggressive chemo the 28 high dose radiations and the several surgeries that our little boy had to endure.
The first few days that we knew of Ty's illness we really had no idea of what we were about to face. We were in a state of shock. We were told he would not make it 6 months ..looks like the little man fooled them all ..

Ty-Michael was so perfectly healthy on 11- 10-99 .. We never would have known he was sick . He was in a horrible fight with a much older boy who punched him in the belly and caused his tumor to break and thankfully present itself. I remember I had to fight with the doctors they said over and over that he was just sore from the fight ,to take him home and to not worry..I hear those words as clear as if it were yesterday.. Had we taken there advice and not listened to our heart and gut Ty would not have lived through the night. I begged and pleaded with the doctor at wellington reginal hospital to please scan him he refused I continued to fight with this doctor all night until at 1 am I couldn't handle it anymore and basically lost it.. I took the Dr. by the tie and demanded a scan saying I know this isn't my child just please do a scan of his belly.. Well security and the palm beach co sheriff came and then the dumb *** doctor had to scan mike .. About three minuets in the chamber I could see all over the tech's face that there was a major problem .. All of a sudden this doctor who had refused to treat my 5 yr old baby boy had a full trauma team on him..and then transported him to St.Marys hospital .. In a matter of minuets . By the time I arrived the doctor already knew it was cancer it was massive volley ball size tumor and mike was in critical condition. Honestly just typing about those first few hours makes me so angry . PARENTS FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND GUT ALWAYS!
The next few days were a blur tests, scans, tubes everywhere. Mike was in and out and getting sicker by the second. I could not mentally comprehend what was going on not the CANCER , he was only a little boy and that kind of stuff only happens to other people.
Tim and I thankfully were a good balance for each other.. When I was at his bedside I couldn't stop crying so I had to leave the room ... Tim was calm only at his bedside and could not leave the room without breaking down. I don't think we could have made it through this without each other. As the days passed the news became worse and worse his chances of survival were so slim his little body was so full of cancer . 6 months that's about all they could say. Im sorry.

So as we stayed day and night at his side we met some really wonderful people.. Kids who have beat this monster, kids who now have really won and left this earth and moved on to heaven with no more pain ,. Doctors nurses and the bravest parents without all of them we would have been lost . I don't think I have cried so many tears .. I think that the first month is really a total blur ,because my mind and heart could not survive the pain we all suffered . I really want to thank the child life team and Conner Moran children cancer foundation for all they have done for our family. Thank you to nurse Karen minder for making Ty laugh thank you to nurse Brenda for putting up with my emotional temper tantrums , and thank you to all the teenagers who let me pick there brains about chemo growing up "different" living everyday and there continued faith and love for life . Ashley your beautiful and amazing ,Megan till this day you I hold you so close to my heart your so brave and smart you lite up a room with your smile. Sean your journey ended too soon you fought so hard I love and miss you soo much. Quentin my papa my little boyfriend ..the best little kisser ever made ..my heart still breaks when I think of the loss the world suffered without you here. I know all of you angels are here now looking over us protecting us and leading us closer to god. Robert a true fisher of men I cant believe its been a year .. I still go read your mothers words written straight from her heart everyday ..I have never been so touched by a family .
There are so many other children and families we have become attached to we thank god for all of you. We also pray for remission and strength for all..

We are all different these days .. Life is different and we never seem to know what's around the next corner .. We have scans again in two weeks due to the last set did not come back clear.. There are some questions and so we wait and pray.. December 3rd just doesn't seem soon enough for me..mike is his normal wild man self this is always a good sign.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO STOPS BY TO CHECK ON TY-MICHAEL ..YOU ALL ARE IN OUR HEARTS ..WE COULD NOT HAVE MADE IT THE LAST FOUR YEARS ALONE.

THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS
AUDRA.

P.s
Please forgive me if I didn't mention you by name here today. We love you all and you have all touched our lives more than you will ever know.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003 4:06 PM CDT

OK NEWS FROM DR, BUFO.

THIS STRANGE POCKET OF WATER IN TY-MICHAELS BELLY SEEMS TO BE KINDA NORMAL .. KEY WORD BEING KINDA... THE MASSIVE AMMOUNT OF SCAR TISSUE IN HIS ABDOMEN HAS CREATED A DAM OR RESEVIOR OF SORTS. THE SCAR TISSUE IS HOLDING WATER THAT WOULD NORMALY CIRCULATE THROUGH OUT HIS BODY. INSTEAD ITS JUST COLLECTING!

SO .... WE RESCAN IN 6 WEEKS.. IF THE WATER POCKET IS GONE WERE GREAT..HOWEVER IF IT IS NOT GONE OR IF ITS LARGER TY-MICHAEL WILL NEED ANOTHER SURGERY. AT THAT TIME DR BUFO WILL ALSO CHECK AND MAKE SURE THIS FLUID DOES NOT CONTAIN ANY CANCER CELLS.
SO WE ARE LOOKING FOR CLEAN SCANS!

TY-MICHAEL IS ACTUALLY DOING GREAT OVERALL... HE IS A PURE WILD MAN..PLAYING FOOTBALL AND BEING A NORMAL 9 YEAR OLD BOY~

HE IS DOING GREAT IN SCHOOL WE RECIEVED HIS REPORT CARD YESTERDAY.. ITS STRAIGHT A'S !!! HE LOVES SCHOOL AND IS STARTING ON HIS FIRST REAL SCIENCE PROJECT.. HE DECIDED HE WANTS IT TO BE ON ROCKET SHIPS! IM GUESSING THIS IS GOING TO BE A GREAT PROJECT HE IS VERY EXCITED!

ALL ELSE IS WELL ..

I WILL UPDATE AGAIN SOON

PEACE..AUDRA

Sunday, October 12, 2003 10:22 AM CDT

Goodmorning,

Sunday at 11 am both boys sleeping like little angels. I have been awake since 8 am ..somehow this doesn't sound fair to me!!

Yesterday was a big day around here.. The boys played football we had to be at the Indian Town Football Field at 9 am .. The morning was so beautiful ..cool and sunny about as perfect as could be.

The first to play was Ty-Michael he did a great job there team didn't win but he played with all his heart and that is all that we care about. I have to say he is quite frustrated . It appears that most of the kids on the team either don't really want to play or they just are not catching on. There are a few (3) other players on his team that are awesome and into the game...but that just isn't enough for winning team! Ty watches the other kids just stand around kicking around dirt you know the usual for a nine year old..but he takes this very much to heart. He has a im going to win everything outlook on life so anything less makes him really mad. I guess if he wasn't like that he wouldn't be here with us today! We try to help him understand . Now thats the hard part!!

Alex was up next.. I was a little put off when I saw the kids on the Pahokee team... they all looked like 8th graders ... big kids mean kids there main objective was to play dirty (seems there is a lot of that in the league ).
Well there is a boy named Vaughn on Alex's team he has been battling being over weight . He has been working so hard trying to loose the weight with slow progress. The problem is .. If he does not weigh in he is not allowed to play..well congratulation to Vaughn yesterday he made weight and was allowed to play with his team. This little boy (big boy) all of 10 years old gets out on the field every night plays with all his heart dieting and all but starving himself so he can play on game day. Yesterday when he made weight he was so happy I wish I had the camera on his face .. It is hard to believe that as a parent you can get so excited .. He lost a total of 13 lbs ..WOW ! Way to go Vaughn!! Now I guess being the parent of a couple of skinny boys the struggle with the pounds have never been an issue. We struggle with adding extra pounds to both boys.. With high calorie protein shakes high calorie meals and stuffing there faces every chance we get... no this doesn't work but we try!
So back to the game... sadly they lost again.. All the players are discouraged now because there is no chance at the play offs. They will get a wild card meaning they will play the best team of the league on the second week of November...we are going to cheer and pray that they can win every game between now and then and then steal the championship. Again I have to say there are only a few kids on the team that really want to be there. I don't understand why they waist everyone's time and energy if they don't really want to play.?? Then I feel so bad for Alex he also plays so hard..he is an awesome player he puts his whole heart into the game. He hurts his little body every week but refuses to give up or slow down. He gets so mad at his team mates the ones who wont give there all .. He has asked to play with a real team ... TEAM a word wich contains no I or ME ! I am so blessed to have children who believe in honest hard playing and giving there all for the TEAM! GO HURRICANES!!!

MEDICAL NEWS!
Ok so I am still waiting on Dr. Anthony Bufo to review Ty-Michaels scans from last week. He has been out of town but will go to St.Marys on Monday and let me know what this "water pocket" is. When I talked with his office on Thursday he stated he had never heard of such a thing and wanted to view the scans for himself. We all know that this walking angel knows my baby boy inside and out better than anyone. So I truly value his opinion. That is not saying I don't have faith in Dr. Singers diagnosis but a second look by someone who knows him so well never hurts. Besides .... a strange water pocket with no answers as to why its there where it came from and how to make it go away worry me A LOT!

Ty is currently coughing his head off.. I hope this is just the normal change in season cough.. Seems everyone is sick . But it always seems so much scarier when its Ty.

Ok well I guess this is all for today .. I will update more after I talk to Bufo.

On another note...
I read many web pages through caring bridge. Maybe too many.. I have recently read of parents who struggle with the course nature of doctors and there inability to give any hope to the children and there parents . We personally have not used the treatment of PROTOCEL but we have heard nothing but great things from everyone who has. This drug/treatment is not one that the doctors or hospitals make money off of.. Do you think possibly that is why these doctors are discouraging the use of protocel? I think its very possible... when we read about so many children who are diagnosed every week and see how many we loose everyday.. There has to be some hope somewhere. I am so proud of all of you who stand strong beside your child or family member trying anything and everything possible .. Im sure anyone who has found there way here to these sites would do anything they could to ease the pain and terror that cancer causes the family.. If the answer is protocel perfect if not at least there is a added level of security and the added feeling that we are at least doing something.. Doing something to fight a monster we have no control over. Stand strong and believe in a cure..

Thank you for your prayers for Ty's continued remission.. Please pray for all the children and families still fighting everyday!!

love to all
Audra

Tuesday, October 7, 2003 1:03 PM CDT

Thank God I can write this....

We just returned from St.Marys where mike has his MRI scans and visit with Dr.Singer. The morning was so emotional .. Mentally draining and heart breaking . I think the not knowing is the worst part of scan time.

So I bet you wanna know what happened !

Ty remains CANCER FREE!!!!!

He has some strange water pocket.. A protien pocket ??? we have no clue what this is or why he has it .. I will be doing some research.. However we do know he has not "RELAPSED" thank god ! Ty will have scans again in a few weeks and we will pray that whatever this strangeness is that it will pass.

I have to say that I do not know how to handle these relapse scares. Everyone feels worse than the last. Every scans scare us more. And everytime we here there is a problem the fear that its really happened this time is enough to drive us over the edge. Parenting is hard enough with out the pain and uncertainty of cancer !

I am off to sleep for a few days ... ok just till tomorrow .. There has been no sleeping around here since Friday. I think a nap for the whole family is a great idea!

Thank you dr.singer thank you to the mri techs and thank god for clear scans.

Love Audra Tim Alex and Mike!

Please everyone needs to go sign up for the bone marrow registry . We have a sweet little friend who needs a transplant ,however they are not finding a match .. All it takes is a blood test and the willingness to give life to a child who is fighting for every breath. If you have a child of your own I know that you would want anyone and everyone to sign up and to share there life saving bone marrow ..cord blood also works.
... Miss Katia Lady Bug needs all of our help..
Lets not let her down!

Saturday, October 4, 2003 9:56 PM CDT

HELLO,

FIRST LET ME START BY SAYING I CANT BELIEVE IM ACTUALLY TYPING THIS.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HAVING THE BEST FRIDAY OF YOUR LIFE.. AND YOU HEAR THE SWEET SOUNG OF YOUR CELL PHONE RINGING ..JUST BEFORE LUNCH ..SO IT MUST BE A GOOD CALL?

WELL FOR ME THIS CALL WAS NOT A FRIENDY HELLO.. I FELT IT IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH WITH THE FIRST RING.. THE TERROR I FELT WHEN I SAW THE NUMBER FROM CHILDRENS HEMOC.. I COULDNT ANSWER.. IT WASN'T EVEN 24 HOURS YET.. WELL AFTER A FEW DEEP BREATHS I CALLED BACK. I SPOKE WITH DR.SINGER (ONE OF THE NEW DOCTORS IN DR.GOWDA'S PRACTICE AND FROM WHAT FRIENDS HAVE SAID SHES GREAT )...HEARING THE DR ON THE PHONE AND NOT TRACY OR PAM WAS A HUGE RED FLAG.. DEEPER BREATHS...
DR. SINGER STATED THAT THERE WAS A "PROBLEM" THEY FOUND "SOMETHING" BETWEEN MIKES BLADDER AND RECTUM .. (THIS WAS BASICALLY PRIMARY LOCATION OF HIS ORRIGINAL TUMOR), DR SINGER ORDERED MORE TESTS AND WE WILL BE IN THE HOSPITAL TUESDAY MORNING AT 6:45 AM.. ADMITING THIS EARLY IS ANOTHER HUGE RED FLAG. THE DR WILL HAVE THE SCANS READ WET MEANING NO WAITING FOR TEST RESULTS. WE WILL HAVE TO MOVE QUICKLY I AM BEYOND FREAKED OUT!
NOW IM NOT GOING TO SAY THE "R" WORD .. HOWEVER THIS IS SOMETHING THEY HAVE NOT SEEN IN TY .. DR.SINGER COMPARED THIS SET WITH THE LAST SIX SCANS ..DEFINATLEY NOT THERE BEFORE. I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO TELL MICHAEL TODAY.. WHEN I TELL HIM HE HAS MORE SCANS HE WILL KNOW THERE IS A PROBLEM!
WE ARE ALL PRAYING ITS NOTHING ANOTHER GLOB OF SCAR TISSUE ANYTHING OTHER THAN RHABDO RETURNING ..

PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR TY-MICHAEL .. YOUR PRAYERS ARE ALL WE HAVE TODAY.

IM SORRY I DONT HAVE MORE ANSWERS , MY HEAD IS WHIRLING MY BODY IN SHOCK AND MY EMOTIONS ARE WELL NOT DOING SO WELL TODAY. I WILL BE SURE TO LET YOU KNOW WHATS HAPPENING TUESDAY.

Wednesday, October 1, 2003 11:31 PM CDT

Ahhhh... the sound of peaceful children sleeping.

Today is the dreaded day.. the night before scans. I can honestly say I hate the night before. How could anyone sleep? How do so many of you parents go through each day without fear of the CT machine ?? And of course CANCER!?!

Ty will be having his 3 year off tx scans at 10:30 am . I have to say that I an surface scared.. But I do know deep in my heart that he is doing just great.. Its very obvious that he is healthy. He is huge ,active and growing way better than we were expecting. We were told that the radiation would prevent growth in certain areas abdominal /pelvic hips and spine ..well from where im standing I see a boy with no growth issues . Additude yes ! He has plenty of that!

He is growing like a weed I've never seen a person so vibrant ..and bad (lol) all at the same time.

Michael is doing so good at football.. He really makes the "older boys" mad that he is a Mean Green Tackle Machine. There is a very big boy on Alex team he tried to use mike as a dish rag and found out what that little man could do. The older boys are rougher and set that no "younger player" on the "younger team" will beat them .. Then mike stands up .. And the story of the soldier ant... they all come tumbling down!!
This weekend we play the Ft.Pierce Buccaneers .. There big kids.. But our boys are winners! They are all heart the boy's are Super Bowl style players! ..... lets not forget they also pay
the local ambulance EMT salary for Hobe Sound! And how ironic? there is a fire /ambulance /emt station right on our ball field! Coincidence nah I think not!

Ashley will be moving down here at semester change. We are all looking forward to this move . Im pretty scared of teenage girls but I think it will be great to have my baby duck here all the time. She is beautiful and talented and I hope she is able to find her heart and her dreams in her poetry and songs . Its going to be an adventure in parenting!
One that I more than ready for.

Well im off to bed .. Say lots of prayers for clean scans and remission forever for Ty and so many others who have walked this path. Standing strong !

Hobe Sound Hurricanes!!
We are the Hurricanes the Mighty Mighty Hurricanes~ Look out Buccaneers there's a storm brewing in the south!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!!!!!

Love to all
Audra, Tim ,Alex and Ty-Michael Carl Schmidt.

Saturday, September 20, 2003 7:24 PM CDT

Wow what a weekend and its only Saturday~!

Today was a big day here .. Our boys and there football games are getting more exciting every week!

As you know Ty had a knee injury from last weeks game and has not been able to practice all week. He was not suposed to play today but I was at work and Tim (daddy) let him play today... so the injured (lol for those who know ty) .. Boy makes three defence tackles in a row then he tackled a kid and made his go flying.. In football I guess this is a good thing beacuse he made MVP!! He was given a certificate and some photos done with the news paper. We are very proud of him .. I am bummed that I did not get to watch him play and earn his D-FENCE!
The other odd thing about this photo session... there was no mention of Ty's cancer.. This had NOTHING to do with cancer at all ..Ty a normal boy whos scraped and bruised playing football like a champ! Gotta love that style!

Now Alex well he is on the next team up in weight .. Oh my god the team they played today was the Riviera Beach Team. Alex was in the game all but two minuets and that was because (YES he got hurt ..but he went right back in the game) . There team won 33-13 this was a awesome victory the kids coaches and parents (on our team) are all very happy. The boy that alex faced through most of the game was #4 (don't know who he is) HE IS HUGE at least two helmets taller than Alex.. I could not believe that they were faceing eachother the whole game.. I certainly was afraid he would also get hurt again he did but nothing that requied the numbers we know so well 911 ... well he suvieved his battle with a back thats scraped bruised and pretty sore. He plays on offence and D-fence litterally he was in the entire game. I think the excitetment of the WIN is greater than the pain ..
Im certain im insane for letting them play! (Just kidding) I hear I should make them quit ..due to injurys .I listen only to the coaches who say these two are all heart .. You cant quit that.. all boys are going to get hurt ..

And ask Mr.Scott he will tell you .. Bowling is a dangerous sport!

ok so this is for all the parents out there who has football players , soccer player , baseball what ever it might be. At the game today we saw a different side of parenting a side that we are less than accepting of.. See we have been in cancer life so long that ..OTHER people are just so dumb, I don't understand the need to be crude to children playing a sport . I think every child should be taught yes to win but also to just have fun and it is only a game and definatly not the NFL! The Riveria Sharks should be called the snakes! The parents were so rude the players intentally hurt our kids.. #33 when in the pile of kids would punch who ever was near him.i don't mean once or twice in padded areas . I mean full facial punches while on the ground .the refs through this kid out of the game
Theparents/fans then became angry now not only are they loosing but there players are kicked out for playing dirty... they were yelling that our kids were cheating .. That the coaches refs and the time keeper..were just cheating so the Hurricanes would win.. OH PLEASE! This went to the point they were asked to leave (shark fans) and the sheriff had to come.. TO A LITTLE KIDS FOOTBALL GAME!! Im pretty fired up about this ..

I guess my only point to this is why? Another why?

" Why cant we all just get along! "

well I am done bragging on these small soldiers here ..I must go bathe them and mend there wounds!

AARRRGGGHHH.... football you bet!

Medical update:
Full series of scans to begin October 7th.. I have no fear for scans this is the first time I can honestly say that. My baby is healthy and growing he shows no signs of symptoms..these will be the 3 years off treatment scans!
well he still has "spoiled child syndrom" but we all know were stuck with that forever!

Monday, September 15, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

Before I start here I must tell every parent who dreams of ever naming there child Michael to please rethink this... every Michael, Mikey or Mike that I have ever met seems to be ..hhmm with lack of a better term wild men!

Saturday mornings early wake up feed the boys and off to football. We totally enjoy this family event and we are all very involved.. I was watching the first game from the press box calling out the names of the boys on Mikes team when they made a great play,touchdown. Tackle, funble recovery AND INJURED! .. Im guessing you already see where this is leading. Game two of the season.. Mike makes a tackle that causes a fumble recovers the fumble and is then tackled. Sounds like an awesome play and it was...till he did not get back up! He laid there a second and I said to the Riveria Beach Sharks announcer "oh no that is my kid" well his coaches helped him to the bench ..he looked fine from across the field. Tim went over to him and checked him out ..he felt he was alright and then returned to his team (coach tim) .. About 10 minuets passes and I see the paramedics coming out to the field ...walking towards mike ... again PANIC ..what could have happened ?? So I jump out of the press box run down all the bleachers around the track to a gate and then back to his bench.. The paramedics came because the on field paramedic felt that due to the WAY his knee was hurt that there could be much more damage than we could see.. So off he goes in the ambulance... friends I can not count how many times I've been in an ambulance with one or the other of my children.. Anyway 5 hours at St.Marys E.R and he has a sprained knee and can not practice or play for at least 10 days.. he will be just fine.. Now my heart as well as my leggs, lungs and a few unmentionables may take a bit longer to recover !

Its really been a long time since I have been to St.Marys . When we first arrived I noticed all the ceiling tiles..and looked around at these tiles that symbolize all the children and families that visit this hospital. I did not notice at the time (while we were there). That I did not have that strange urge to go to the oncology floor. We used to find so much comfort there. Our nurses and friends all the awesome kids. After a talk I had with a friend I know had I gone up there I would have falling in love with another kid only this one I wouldn't know ...I wouldn't know them because an average of one child per week is diagnosed in palm beach county and Treated at St.Marys . Since mike finished treatment that would be 36 new kids. 36 families .. If you did not have a child with cancer or did not visit these caring bridge sites would you have gone through most of your life never knowing about childhood cancer? except for maybe the St.Judes telethon or a documentary or something
would you have known so many inspirational children ? Would we have ever felt the pain and loss of so many children? I don't think so. I personally had no clue the magnatude of childhood cancer until it entered my life, through my innocent 5 year old .

September is childhood cancer awareness month ..

Yesterday I felt like I was a normal mom in the regular emergency room for a perfectly normal injury for a 9 year old football player. This morning I am awake and contemplating these feelings and there is a part of me that will never understand what happened to our lives on 11-11-99 .

I am grateful for today and the children who have been given to us , we have all been hand picked to be the parents of a child so sick..why I will never know.. Maybe GOD thinks we are strong enough or have enough faith or maybe to show you the way to stronger faith in him and his will..I guess the understanding part we wont know anything about until we stand before god and the gates of heaven. Until that day ...

The school mid-term reports came in on Wednesday . All the kids seem to be doing well.. This is am very happy about .
Ashley also made the drill team so now she is doing ROTC and Drill Team. We are very proud of her. Ashley will be flying in for a visit on the 26th we decided that to fly here is way cheeper and must less time consuming than driving back and forth to daytona .. Were talking 12 hours in the car .. Thats a lot of time to take out of a weekend. So she will fly in on Thursday morning and I will drive her home Sunday night . Im soo excited .

oh and im sorry im still just a lurker, I read everyone's page and there links and I get so sad . I don't know what to write or how to express my feelings when there is another loss of a child a relapse or just knowing we have to have a caring bridge ring of sites makes me sick to my stomach I can vent here on Michaels page because its my journal about our family and our fight and usually just my phsyco babble !!..

All I can say to all the parents and kids who deal with this everyday is keep fighting and cancer really sucks! Know we are thinking about all of you and praying for a cure in our childrens life time. we love you!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 8:45 AM CDT

THIS IS WHAT I CALL SELF TORTURE 101.
I READ THE PAGES OF OUR CHILDREN THE ONES WINNING THE ONES STILL FIGHTING AND THE ONES WHO HAVE TRULEY WON AND BEAT THE CANCERNOW PLAYING AND LAUGHING IN HEAVEN CANCER FREE ..NOT THE WAY WE AS PARENTS WANTED IT TO BE HEAVEN IS NOT WHERE WE WANT OUR CHILDREN ..A GRAVE SIDE IS NOT WHERE WE WANT TO GO VISIT OUR BABIES AND KNOWING THERE ARE NO MEMORIES LEFT ,NO TOMMOROWS NO NEXT WEEKS..ETC.
. I FEEL THE LOSS OF EACH AND EVERY CHILD AS IF IT WERE MY MICHAEL. I LOOK AT MY FRIENDS WHO ARE FIGHTING SO HARD AND TRYING TO FACE EACH DAY WITHOUT THERE SWEET BABY. I COULD NOT IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD DO IF TY-MICHAEL RELAPSED. TODAY HE IS SO HEALTHY AND STRONG.. BIG FOOTBALL PLAYER ..ONE OF THE BEST ON HIS TEAM ..HE IS VERY DEDICATED . NOW IF WE COULD ONLY KEEP HIM FROM FIGHTING
YESTERDAY MY BABY GIRL TURNED 16 ITS HARD TO IMAGINE MY LITTLE DUCKIE BEING SO GROWN UP ... I HOPE HER DAY IS PERFECT AND THAT LIFE IS JUST FULL OF BEAUTY. I PRAY SHE FINDS ACCEPTANCE IN THIS WORLD AND THAT HER PATH TO ADULTHOOD IS SMOOTH . SHE IS A AWESOME GIRL FULL OF LIFE FULL OF HERSELF FILLED TO THE TOP WITH TEENAGER SYNDROM LOL.. I KNOW ALL OF THIS WILL PASS WAY TO FAST.
I MENTALLY KEEP HAVING A REALLY ROUGH TIME WITH MY EMOTIONS. I FEEL SO MUCH GUILT THAT I HARBOR SO MUCH FEAR AND ANXIETY ABOUT TY-MICHAEL . HE IS DOING GREAT ..GROWING LEARNING BEING HIS NORMAL SELF BUT I HAVE THIS HOLE IN THE PITT OF MY STOMACH SAYING THIS IS FAR FROM OVER AND AT THE SAME TIME I CANT IMAGINE GOING THROUGH ANY OF THIS AGAIN. I DO KNOW THAT WE KEEP LOOSING CHILDREN TO THIS CANCER BEAST AND IT'S THE MOST UNFAIR THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ANY OF US. WE HOPE THAT A CURE IS FOUND SOON A WAY TO KNOW EARLIER WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR BABIES ... I TRY TO TAKE COMFORT IN HIS CURRENT HEALTH AND ENERGY LEVELS ,,BUT EVERY BELLY ACHE OR BLACK CIRCLE UNDER HIS EYES MAKES ME WANT TO RUN HIM TO THE DOCTOR,I KNOW I CANT DO THAT EVERYDAY BUT WHY NOT!

I WANT TO THANK THOSE OF YOU WHO DO STOP BYE AND SAY HELLO TO MIKE AND THE FAMILY .. WE STILL NEED LOVE AND SUPPORT,

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PLEASE PRAY FOR LITTLE KATIA AND HER MOMMY IVY ..SHE IS FIGHTING SO HARD THESE DAYS AND SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL..LIFE IS UNFAIR OUR CHILDREN SHOULD NOT SUFFER.
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Thursday, September 4, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

Hi,
All is well here..the boys are doing great and getting so very big. As I sat here tonight looking at them and watching them eat dinner and talk about football and school..I could not believe how grown up there becoming.

I will post some more photos the photo above is from last weeks jamboree ..Saturday they play in stuart against the Stuart Hornets these games are so much fun. I really don't know who enjoys it more. Tim is now an assistant coach for alex's team. He says coaching isnt his thing yet he great out on the field and as I type he is teaching them "board plays " apparently thats all the X's and O's ..lol ..I just love to watch and cheer them on.. I am asked on a regular basis if I am comfortable watching mike out there getting tackled , I am not comfortable persay but I do know that football is really good for them in more ways that I can even list.. And well every kid breaks a bone or cuts there chin and nose.. Boys will be boys and boys they are!

Sieharra is doing great in school we are very proud of her . She is really blossoming (sshhhh) into a beautiful young woman..now she is in a after school class music and seems to like it.. She also did a great poster report on Cuba. I love that she will be here with us for the weekend.

Ashley geesh will be 16 in 5 more days ..im very upset that she wont be comming down here for the planed weekend. Hopefully she will be spending a lot of time here at home with us. If she gets her birthday wish! She is also enjoying school the R.O.T.C and drill team. I love when there involved in school funtions they are so important in developing the adult in the teenagers body..or should I say head..

Also to a few friends and you know who you are I will try not to be a "LURKER" and sign the guestbooks at least once in awhile.! I may not post but I do read daily. I cant miss a day of Kathys wisdom or a joke from Mrs.Bunny Finestone ! What an education in life, reality,love,family and faith. We have all been blessed with today.

Peace and love to all
Audra


****************************************************************************************************************************
PLEASE PRAY FOR THE FAMILY OF BRITNEY ZIPTOR. SHE EARNED HER WINGS ON 9-2-03 . WE COULD NOT IMAGINE WHAT THERE FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH TONIGHT.
****************************************************************************************************************************

Sunday, August 31, 2003 1:45 AM CDT

Hello and Happy Labor Day Extra Long Weekend!!

All is well here at home. The boys are doing great in school for the most part . Ty is being his normal difficult self as far as his behavior and need to be the center of attention , good or bad attention it does not matter to him!

Saturday was quite the day...and baisically still is at this moment its 2:30 am .. I have been asleep since 3 pm this afternoon.. No im not sick not in a normal sickness way.. But the boys had there jamboree today and I was in the sun since 8 am .. Those who really know me know that I am as close to vampire white as can be due to medication I can not be in the sun for extended periods .. My Bad! ... anyway .. So we all know what LOBSTER looks like.. Ha ha .. Well my fire red skin makes a lobster look white! Touching my face or curling my nose is impossible .. So all in all the sun kicked my butt .. At 3 I finally gave up and climbed in the car with the A/c running and went to sleep till the guys finished up .. I came home ate some pop corn in bed with my three boys while watching Lord of the Rings and have been asleep since about half way through.. I have put aloe on and special burn cream but still cant wrinkle up my nose.. The rest only hurts when touched ..
I wish the games were played at night .. Practice is so great .. 6-8:30 everynight we get to watch the sun set and see the sky change going through so many beautiful colors. Our loved ones sending sweet hellos through sun beams and purple skys... the only bad part about the night practice can be the buggies... but I definatly can fight off a few skeeters easier than the hot florida sun!

September 1st wow ... this means in 9 days my baby girl will be 16 years old! WOW WOW WOW I can not even fathom where the years have gone. She is beautiful and doing so well .. Doing the R.O.T.C and the drill team ,she seems to really like school this year.. Im so happy knowing that . However this comming of age this has sent me for a loop.. She cant be all grown up almost ready to drive away with all her friends .. Prom around the corner graduation and BOYS! Yuck~ wish us all luck .. As her sister is not far behind... 16 geesh!

Medical update.. Great news we have none to report!
The bumps and bruises will fade quick the boys are great !!

We are currentley at 35 months cancer free!! I can not believe it I am so happy... I am going to plan a big party for mike for his third un-birthday this will be the second week of October.. I don't really do birthday partys other than the small (yeah right..huge) family cake and ice cream dinners . However this isnt a birthday party it's a celebration of life.. Three years ago we walked down the halls of St. Marys hospital for the last time.. (we do go visit) our last chemo was 10-13-00 a day marked forever on my heart as well as the calendar so no one else will forget the new life given to us on that special day.. if anyone has any suguestions I would love to hear .. I want this special day to be a huge marker in all of our lives.. We know we are far from finsished with this fight but we have made three years ... life can only get better!

I need to travel back to my bed and see if I can sleep some more .. The sleep fairys are dragging me away .. Peace and love to you all

Audra

**** please say some extra prayers for our friends who are really fighting . Brittany has come home on hospice and her mommy is also fighting cancer. Katia has just relapsed and already having to fight mouth sores as well as the everyday nightmare of chemo and the many other children. Don't forget the parents who live each day with too many unanswerd questions .. And more so for the familys who don't have there sweet babys to kiss goodnight and are left to pray to there angel for peace ***

Thursday, August 21, 2003 10:48 PM CDT

Hi,
all is well here .. The boys have had two weeks of school and both seem to be doing very well. Mike has come home with 100's on all his work and Alex also.. We are so glad that they love school and there need to learn doesn't end when they walk off the foot ball field!

Speaking of walking off the field.... well can you guess what happened our First game.. A battle against the Stuart Hornets.. My poor bean Alex was injured... ANYONE SURPRISED? Yes he was taken off the field after his left leg was twisted at the knee.. He did not suffer any broken bones but he is defiantly in some pain.. Apparently the tendons in his knee cap have been pulled and possibly torn.. He will need ice and ace bandage as well as crutches for a day or two ..just to keep all the weight off his leg. He will be on the field tomorrow in jersey and shorts supporting his team from the side line..I was amazed at how much time Alex was on the field ..he played offence and de-fence it was great to see ... he is a definite leader!
Mike has practice 6-8:00. Again I am not sure who enjoys this football more them or us.. Were like little kids.. Its great! Mike is a tackle machine I can not even begin to tell you how strong he is. I can not even imagine him as ever being so sick.. He is totally involved in every play .. He makes every tackle and brings them all down.. Not just the kid with the ball.. He is a little scarey to watch ..as I has so much fear of them being hurt...(not that I have reason) ! Mike is also a natural leader in everything he does as a three year veteran football player they expect a lot out of him.. He gives the coaches 110 % *** , I am very impressed with his growth and development.

All else is normal around here.. Work school kids football life.. LIFE!

thank you for stopping bye and leaving Ty a message .

Audra Tim Alex and Ty-Michael Schmidt

Monday, August 11, 2003 11:38 PM CDT

Day one ....
The first day of school seems to have gone very well. Ty-Michael likes his new teacher and came in and did homework with out the slightest fight ..wich is totally not like TY!

Alex enjoyed school today also.. Apparently his teacher is quite cute...daddy thinks so also.. So that always helps him learn.. He is defiantly a lady's man!! Im sure I failed to mention the sweet girl he met at the beach this weekend .. Her name is also Alex.. I will try and post a picture.. Anyway she is a tennis player from Boca Raton and about a year older than him.. He sure picks the pretty girls and of course she is a blonde!!

Ok old lady update here.... My oldest daughter Ashley Marie had her first day of High School. I can not believe she is actually going to be 16 in just three weeks... we wont say how old I will be just three days later!! So she says she liked the school and joined the ROTC. I guess this is something she really likes... I hope she continues with her music..she write Christian lyrics. It's a talent I am very proud of!

Sieharra doesn't start school for a few more days. I don't think she is real excited but I am sure she will love being around kids her age. We hope to get her very involved. She is smart, funny and has so much talent to offer this world.. It is a shame that kids can get lost inside themselves. You could not pay me to be a teenager again ..NO THANKS!! So.. Miss Sieharra please dig deep into those books and find the beautiful woman who will blossom through your education and love for life.. I know its in there. I love you!

Tim update:
Timmy has been out of town...we really miss him a lot . He is doing a side job in Vero Beach and his old truck cant handle a 90 min drive twice a day.. Its also been raining here everyday so he hasn't been able to get near the work done as he had hoped... I think the plan was to be done by Sunday.. Looks like maybe Wednesday before he comes home! I miss him so much!

Health check::
my boys are having trouble walking hahah this is due to football and exercise ..I still refuse to actually watch them PLAY but I try not to miss a second of practice.

Cancer ...now that is a word that I have been trying to keep out of mind out of sight . I say try as it is much easier to think about it everyday over not thinking about where we have been and where we are going.. I wish I had a answer... does anyone on this earth know what tomorrow will bring anyone of us? NOPE ! So as of tomorrow Ty-Michael has 31 months of cancer free days .. No chemo .. No surgery No long nights at St, Mary's.. I am so glad because I look back and think of where we were four years ago... how healthy Ty was .. How active he was..I hope and pray we never have to fight this beast again..

I found this quote off another childs page...

Some people pray for a miracle...I held one in my arms!

It's a true statement when I think of the ammount of time we were given with Ty. When I think of the many many nights we were not sure he would make it.. He has beat all the odds against him he is vibrant and full of life .. Also pee and vinagar... im not sure where this comedian came from but I think they may have switched children at birth lol ... hide all mirrors ... he does not look like me!!

I hope everyone is healthy and happy.

Love to you all
Audra, Tim , Alex aka Rooter and Ty-Michael!!! SPIDER BOY!

Wednesday, August 6, 2003 9:02 AM CDT

Hello,
All is well here in our castle.

Medical update!!
Ty-michael is one massive bruise... first off he took a good fall off his bike. He cut his right arm in two places and his left leg.
Now lets add some football and I have a black and blue kid! However coach Soloman says Ty is going to be one heck of football player and is a strong leader..these wounds will heal and so will my heart!

Alex is also a bit sore to say the least ..his throwing arm is a bit out of wack but a little ice and he should be fine and ready to go again today..

They both have 10 days of conditioning ..meaning practice everynight... we get pads on Monday the 11th I hope that helps them some!! I am sure they are going to be just fine . We are enjoying the evenings our friends and the excitement of watching our boys play football..

Camp ....
Well all the campers had a great time.. No major injuries to report .. Seems all was a huge success and all the kids had a great time.. Ty was given the "most active camper award" anyone surprised??
When we arrived at camp we were told that Ty had just been bitten by a spider and was at his cabin ..so off we went in search of nature boy... we found Ty in a tree... he was way up in a tree and when he saw us he stood up jumped up and grabed a branch a swung like George of the jungle .. As he flew through the air my heart fell on the ground lol.. He didnt look like he was hurt from a spider bite... so I asked him if he was ok .. He then produced the biggest spider I have ever seen.. I have to say it was nasty .. He held up this spider and said how cool it was etc. said that he was fine that the spider wasnt poisen and that spiders were cool... Ok so he is fine there... I go and meet with his counsler and then told that Ty is now refered to as Spider Boy and that he carried spiders and lizzards around all week.. He was not afraid of anything. Then they said that this huge spider he was carrying around early that morning had gotten into his shirt and was crawling all over his little body lol .. Apparently he screams like a GIRL!!!

All in all camp was great .. Thank you Lee Klien and Allie for a great trip our kids will remeber forever!

School starts on Monday the 11th ..we are excited .. Im not so sure the kids are .. But we are!! Lol
there is so much to be done still..
Alex will go into 5th grade ..I can't believe it .. When did he grow up?
Mike is in 3rd grade this year... depending on behavior and his retention we may push him up into 4th where he should be.. Were going to see how the first few weeks go before we make that decision.
Sieharra is in 8th grade this year and hopefully today we will hear that she has been accepted into a christian acadamy .. This would be so good for her.. Crossing fingers!!

Well all else is well.. The summer is winding down... the normal routine is about to begin .. Life is good!

Saturday, August 2, 2003 8:11 AM CDT

Hi,
Well its been an entire week now since Ty has been away at camp. He seems to be having a blast and according to his camp "pal" has been on his very best behavior through most of the camping and trips to Disney theme parks.
After we pick up Ty-Michael our family and some friends will be having a pre-birthday for Tim and a welcome home BBQ . I personally am so very excited. The park where Ty is camping is Birtch State park in Ft.Lauderdale and also the most beautiful place I have ever seen.
Some of our friends from camp will be joining us. Its so wonderful the friends we have made. Even through all the insanity of CANCER and always the uncertainty of life tommrow we have made LIFE LONG friends . Friends who will always be with us. We all stand strong and fight this monster who try's so hard to consume our children and our lives. As parents we shall fight every step of the way!

Medical Update:
Ty-Michael remains in remission ..he will have his 3 year off treatment in October and November will mark 4 years since this all started. He is healthy and strong full of life . Even full of himself.. I guess the easy way to say this is he is TY-MICHAEL!!

Future Medical Update!!!!! ( yes future)

Monday is the start of the Hobe Sound Hurricanes Football League! We are all very excited to start ...however the injury's broken bones heat stroke and skeeter's are always on my mind.
Tim, Alex and Ty however are like a couple of little kids... there not worried about being hurt they just want to have fun.
Alex plays quaterback position and Mike plays not only offence but de- fence ! A lot of parents get upset that he is on the field more than some of the other kids ... but Mike has only one thing on his mind.. To tackle the guy with the ball!! If any of you know who John Lynch is .. He plays for Tampa Bay Buccaneers .. Ty wants to be just like him... a tackle machine who is in on every play of the game.. Coach said he is a natural and we will see him playing for many years to come!
Alex I have to admit I am really scared for ... they both weigh 76 lbs and Alex due to his age must be on the Bigger 90+ lb team... I told him and really let him know that the other kids were going to be really big.. His answer was " Mom I am not worried about being roughed up or hurt.. The quaterback of the team is always smaller faster and cooler than the rest.. So why should I worry..besides the big kids are the ones who keep me from getting tackled!" I guess 11 year old's do know best sometimes!

Martin County EMS start your engines!

Moms Future Medical Update!!
Yall can come visit me in a rubber room... they are excited im not so excited .. I will walk the field every night watching from the corner of my eye.. I will also have 911 programed into my cell phone!! Last year we needed them three times!
So yes friends I am certifiable ... but ... if this is what the boys (all three) want then this is what they get!

Hope to see yall out at a game or two... practice is Monday through Friday from 6-8 pm
All games are on Saturday! We are a traveling team !

GO CANES!!!

Sunday, July 27, 2003 10:38 PM CDT

Day # 2 no Ty-Michael...
Seems insanely quiet around here .. Mike went off to camp on Saturday..I hope he doesn't get himself in too much trouble with his "festive" behavior. He is so darn cute you would never think he was a BIG TROUBLE MAKER~!~!

We hope he has a blast .the camp where he went is at Birch State Park in Ft. Lauderdale. A beautiful camp he will stay in a cabin. He will also be heading to Disney tomorrow morning . That should also be interesting (lol) they go to three theme parks in three days .. They will eat out every night go bowling , skating, Boomers, every thing a kid and adult could think of .. Sounds like a place I would like to be for nine days.

Next Sunday when we pick him up we will have a birthday party for Tim and pick Ty up at the same time.. Should be lots of fun.

Well back to my quiet house...what ever will I do with myself?

Tuesday, July 8, 2003 10:43 PM CDT

HELLO FRIENDS,
ALL SEEMS WELL IN OUR LIVES THESE DAYS...
THE NORMAL SUMMER BEACH TRIPS AND SUNNY SOUTH
FLORIDA!!

TY-MICHAEL IS REALLY READY TO GO TO SCHOOL .. HE IS SO BORED WITH JUST BEING AT HOME AND ME MA'S ALL DAY. I DON'T BLAME HIM THERE WHO WANTS TO BE STUCK IN A HOUSE ALL AFTERNOON WHILE I WORK...

ALEX IS GREAT..ALSO EXCITED ABOUT SCHOOL AND SUCH ... I THINK THE "SUCH" IS SPORTS AND ALWAYS BEING ON THE TEAM..WE HAVE FOOTBALL STARTING ON THE 19TH OF JULY SO THERE REALLY GEARED UP FOR THAT .

OUR VISIT WITH ASHLEY (OUR 16 YR OLD) HAS BEEN TOO SHORT. I MISS HER ALREADY AND SHE DOES NOT EVEN LEAVE TILL FRIDAY. STRANGE WHEN YOU LOOK BACK INTO YOUR LIFE INTO A MIRROR OF SORTS AND YOU SEE A WOMAN IS NOW STANDING BEFORE YOU . NOT A LITTLE GIRL.. NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG SHE WILL ALWAYS BE MY "BABY DUCK" ~!

SIEHARRA IS WELL ...SHE IS DOING WELL WITH MY MOM AND SEEMS OVER ALL HAPPY AND SPOILED..WICH IS ONE THING SHE REALLY NEEDED IN LIFE.. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND SMART AND I KNOW THAT SHE WILL SUCCEED AND GROW INTO A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY..WHO WONT NEED ANY ONE TO TAKE CARE OF HER...SHE IS AN AMAZEING YOUNG WOMAN ...WE STILL HAVE OUR 14 YR OLD GIRL PROBLEMS.. BOYFRIENDS ,PMS, AND MOM YOUR SO OLD HOW COULD YOU UNDERSTAND ~! LOL ... I AM NOT SO OLD I DON'T UNDERSTAND NOR HAVE I FORGOTTEN HOW HARD TEENAGE YEARS ARE.

LETS ADD ANOTHER TEENAGER TO THIS PICTURE... MY NEPHEW IS HERE AND IM GUESSING WE ARE GOING TO KEEP HIM AWHILE.. HE HAS A HOME WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER IN LANTANA BUT HE LIKE TO HANG OUT HERE WICH IS WONDERFUL TO ME! AS YOU CAN TELL IM A NIGHT OWL AND NEVER HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THE COUTLESS HOURS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ... I USED TO TALK TO JOSH ONLINE.. NOW I GET TO TALK IN PERSON ... I DEFINATLEY MISS MY ONLINE BUD WHEN ITS MIDNIGHT AND HE HAS THE SAME ISSUE OF NOT SLEEPING . SO ITS KINDA GOOD WE HAVE LONG EMOTIONAL OR FUNNY TALKS SOMETIMES EVEN BOTH .. I LOVE TO HAVE THIS MISSING LINK TO MY FAMILY BACK AGAIN. (I LOVE YOU TO AUNTIE)

TIM AND I ARE GREAT.. WE BOTH WORK VERY HARD TO MAKE EVERYTHING FLOW AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE FOR US AND THE KIDS,, WE SEEM TO BALANCE EACHOTHER OUT.. I COULD NOT IMAGINE LIFE WITH OUT MY SOUL MATE.
THE ONLY BAD THING THERE IS HE WORKS WAY TOO HARD IN THE HOT SUN ALL DAY AND BOY THIS SUMMER IS ROUGH..EARLY TOO!

WELL I GUESS THATS ALL FROM ME FOR TODAY .. I HOPE EVERONE ENJOYED THE 4TH OF JULY !

LOVE TO ALL
ALL OF US!

Tuesday, July 1, 2003 10:34 PM CDT

Hello friends and family

All is well here in our little world.. I guess as good as can be .. The summer is progressing nicely the kids are enjoying there time home with grand=ma and daddy .. And we have been doing a lot of fun stuff here and there!

Last week I flew into Hartford Ct. to drive my aunt donna and nephew josh here .. To live.. The drive was long..were totally exhausted but we all had a great bonding .. However I wont ever make that drive again !!!!!

The boys are well .. Mike still having belly pain alex still having chest pain and mom (me ) still having anxiety as to why w..with no answers as to correct the problems. ..

I recieved the most awesome phone call on Saturday... Zach is doing great his scans were awesome and he looks and feels great.. I know it's a little premature but I feel that he will be entering complete remission and living a long healthy loveing life.. I am so happy for his parents .

I was however bummed out I missed the 1st Cancer Sucks Dinner... I hope we can make the next one... we do meet the basic criteria we think CANCER SUCKS!

Ashley is here for the week and thats a wonderful thing.. Makes like a little insane .. Seems we have a housefull of children .. Hey the more the merrier .. There all well behaved so im not complaining much!

Well I guess thats all for now.. Just checking in and letting yall know we are here and love and miss you all bunches..
Talk to you soon
Audra

Friday, June 20, 2003 11:44 PM CDT

Hello everyone,
I am not sure if this is the right time to update on Ty-Michaels web site.. I have read so many tonight and the pain and fear that everyone I k now must endure absolutely sucks! As I read of sweet the loss of yet another child ,I cant help but question everything in this world and really not believe that this is really our life that our child had CANCER . And realize that our lives will be forever changed . If Michael lives to be 100 I will still fear for his everybreath... this is not "lack of faith" but my selfish need to not let go. I am not sure how I could face the day without my little wild man .. He is so funny,and talented his goal in life is to make everyone smile... he may not do it in the best ways but smile or laugh and he has achieved his master goal!

This week marks two years that our sweet Quinten Godfrey left us.. No this was not "our son" but I know that as close as we could be and not be family. This little man lost his fight from a brain tumor. He fought his mother fought and so did the doctors. But my little papa was not ment to stay here with us. His death changed me so dramatically not all for the good but not all bad either. But I know the pain of losing someone so special. When I told Ty-Michael he had gone on to heaven his response was " oh his poor mommy must be so sad" and then a little smile and he said " I am so happy that he is playing and he doesnt have cancer anymore and he was sure that dinner would be with Jesus that night"! My seven year old son had so much accceptance for all that had happened to him and his friends! No fear no questions nothing but PURE FAITH .At his funeral all the photos were quinten and tim and ty and quinten .. it was like when quinten passed on he took with him part of our entire family,we were so blessed to be loved by this perfect angel!

On fathers day Ty-Michael released a purple balloon to his buddy.. He does this often but with the anniversary of his passing I guess for me it was too much to watch. I am so proud of his strength and understanding ... but I DON'T WANT MY BABY TO UNDERSTAND
I do not want to understand.... I want to go back to flipping back and forth to the St.Judes telethons and the CMN telethons ..feeling sad for THOSE OTHER FAMILIES and just going about our normal little life!.
However I would wish this on no other child or family... my only wish is for a TOTAL CURE! Nothing less !

Tonight 12:30 pm I cant sleep and my mind is consumed with the thoughts of another mom out there whos little boy is gone..she cant go tuck him in kiss him goodnight and hold him in her arms. What pain can a mothers heart withstand?? When you meet the mom on the street do you know what to say ..is a simple hug enough?

Well for me I watch in fear and try to live each day. Not thinking about tommrow..just for today I will vision my michael a grown man with his story all over medical journals. He wants to be a doctor.. I think what a perfect compassionate person to be a doctor.. And to live through this himself there would only be total understanding of what the children are going through at each stage.

I am sorry that I am rambleing on tonight .. My heart is broken for so many little boys that will never grow up and so many moms with empty arms tonight. I feel the pain of another mother who would dig her child from his grave just to hold him one more time, the pain of a mother who looks into her sons room and sees everything that he once loved to do then add a brother and or sister that is too young to remeber so many things that they will miss out on. Or they the suriving child wonders why my brother/sister and not me... was it my fault for yelling at him or fighting or silently wishing they would just go away... but only for a half an hour! There is not a family here on caring bridge or o-2-peds or just in the cancer loop that can say they went through this without sheding a tear for other children and families.

so a small personal note to you know who! I am not totally wrapped in the kids and there pages. I do not come here for a daily dose of death and despair. Yes sometimes I sit here and cry and cry and others I sit here and laugh and then cry.. All I do know for sure is I have met some wonderful children and families and my heart is with all of you!

I am done with my venting now .. I will try to rest and pray to not dream .

Love to everyone
Audra


*********************************************************************
OK can we say DUH! Yes mom is self centered and did not even mention what I came here to post..
As I said last week Ty remains in remission and cancer free... he was still not feeling so great...last night he complained of pain in his right eye and when he woke up his eye was huge red and very painful...this evening he has gotten progressively worse.. He has a fever 101.9 and just lazing around.. I will make him another apointment and hope to figure out whats going on with him.i am sure its just a bug . But I will keep you posted!
***********************************************************************

WE LOVE AND MISS YOU PA PA ..
FOREVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND
FOREVER YOUR BEST FRIEND,
AND FOREVER A DAD WHO WILL MISS YOU FOREVER!
**** SMOOCH, HUGS ,KISSES AND LOVE***

AUDRA TIM ALEX AND MIKE!

Tuesday, June 17, 2003 11:39 PM CDT

Hello everyone!
We have just returned from our annual Tampa Bay Buc's "fans" BBQ to benifit All Children Hospital. We had a wonderful relaxing time..

Saturday the boys (all three) went to Fan Fest this was held at the new stadium ...this is also the coolest stadium I have ever seen... Tim Alex and Ty-Michael were able to meet John Lynch again and really enjoyed exploring the Tampa Stadium.
Sunday was the BBQ and that was great! It was wonderful to beable to share that Ty is cancer free and a survivor... and show all who attended that there money donated does help our children.. We were never treated at All Children's but we believe in doing as much fund raising for the hospitals who save and fight for our kids.. Wither its here in town or across the state..

Basically the remainder of our vacation we spent chilling at the hotel with some forever friends of Timmys. We had a great time .. They have four beautiful children ...let me say that my boys are in LOVE!!! im sorry to all of mikes other girlfriends.. But not to worry he only sees his rebecca once or twice a year!! The kids all were wonderful.

Monday night we were able to see my brother James who lives in his "brand new house " in north port florida... I was so happy to see his wonderful home.. He has worked hard many years for this and I am so proud of him!! *smooch* to uncle "black rhino/gerbil " we all enjoyed a nice dinner and he is so crazy... I think I finally figured out where mike got so CRAZY~~!!!! lol

well thats all for now .. I will update soon .. I have a ton of pictures I just have to upload and send... hope everyone had a great fathers day
we love you all

love Audra ,Tim, Alex and Ty-Michael

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 9:53 PM CDT

HELLO!

THE RESULTS ARE IN... TY-DOES NOT HAVE CANCER! !!!!!!! HE REMAINS IN REMISSION. !!

HE HAS SOME SCAR TISSUE AND HE WILL NEED TO SEE A GASTRO DOCTOR..DUE TO THE LONG TERM EFFECTS FROM CHEMO AND RADIATION! TY DOENT HAVE ANY OF THE INFECTIONS HE WAS TESTED FOR,

HE STILL HAS THE PAIN AND ALL THE SYMPTOMS..BUT ACCORDING TO TENET/ST.MARYS HOSPITAL AND HIS DOCTORS THE SCANS ARE ALL CLEAR FOR ANY SIGN OF TUMOR ! ALL OF THE OTHER TESTS CAME BACK NEGATIVE AS WELL... SO WE KNOW HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY STOMACH VIRUS OR UNKNOWN INFECTION. IS THAT GOOD OR BAD??

TODAY WHEN I TALKED TO THE DOCTORS OFFICE AND THEY GAVE ME THE WONDERFUL NEWS ABOUT TY-MICHAEL.. IT ACTUALLY FELT LIKE I WAS HIT BY A TRAIN AND HAD THE SENSE SLAPPED OUT OF ME!
I FIND THAT THESE SCARES ARE ALMOST AS BAD AS THE ACTUAL RELAPSE OR ORRIGINAL DIAGNOSIS . FOR THE LAST FEW WEEKS MY HEART WAS CONSUMED WITH THE FEAR OF CANCER COMMING BACK INTO HIS BODY. THE PAIN, THE SYMPTOMS AS WELL AS EVERY THING ELSE HE HAS BEEN FEELING THE LAST FEW WEEKS,, YES I WAS WORRIED!
I KEPT THINKING SCAR TISSUE OVER AND OVER !(IT WORKED) ..

SO ..TY JUST WENT TO BED ..HIS BELLY HURTS JUST THE SAME AS YESTERDAY. AS I SAID A CT WILL NOT AUTOMATICALLY TAKE THIS PAIN OUT OF HIS BELLY! . POOR GUY.


HE ATE A LITTLE MORE TONIGHT. THANK GOD! A HOT DOG AND FRIES. NOT ALL BUT SOME.

TY-MICHAEL SAID TO ME THIS AFTERNOON
"MOM..I CANT BELIEVE WERE DONE TESTING AND WE FINALLY KNOW MY CANCER DIDNT COME BACK!" NOW I WAS SHOCKED AT TY'S REACTION TO THE RESUTS. I WAS ALSO TOLD I AM NOT ALLOWED TO THINK HE HAS CANCER AND NOT TALK to him ABOUT IT..HE PROMISED TO DO THE SAME IF ANYTHING AT ALL DOESNT FEEL RIGHT.

I AM SO SORRY MIKE IF MOM SCARED YOU IN ANY WAY . KNOW THE FEAR THAT I FEEL IS NOT HAVING YOU WITH ME EVERYDAY. AND THE BIG QUESTION OF WHAT NEXT!

TODAY IS NEXT!

WELL NOW THAT THE MAJOR STRESS ISSUE IS OVER WITH MICHAEL I WILL GO SLEEP FOR A FEW EXTRA HOURS.. ITS BEEN DAYS NOW SINCE I'VE SLEPT A NORMAL NIGHT. WILL I EVER SLEEP A NORMAL NIGHT AGAIN?

THANK YOU RUTHIE AND TRACY FOR SO MANY OF YOUR PRAYERS, WE LOVE YOU AND COULD NEVER GET THROUGH THIS WITHOUT YOU. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO STANDS BESIDE US !

LOVE TO ALL,
AUDRA, TIM ,ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL

Sunday, June 8, 2003 1:38 AM CDT

DAY ??????????? TOO MANY TO COUNT.........

WE STILL HAVE NO SOLID ANSWERS AS TO WHAT IS WRONG OR NOT WRONG WITH TY-MICAEL.
TODAY MIKE ACTED PRETTY NORMAL HE ATE A HOTDOG AND A HAMBURGER BUN. HE ALSO DRANK A CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST. (NOT A LOT )
HE PLAYED IN THE POOL AND ALSO PLAYED HORSE SHOES. HE SEEMED TO FEEL PRETTY WELL. OVERALL...

YESTERDAY HE WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN .

HIS CHIEF COMPLAINTS:

HE FEELS VERY FULL.
HIS BELLY HURTS HIM A LOT.
HE HAS A HEADACHE MOST OF TODAY.
HE FEELS SOMETHING "MOVING AROUND IN HIS BELLY AND IT FEELS LIKE SAND SPIRS. "
HE IS LAYING AROUND A LOT
HE GETS WICKED CAR SICK EVERY TIME WE GET IN THE CAR!
LAST NIGHT HE WAS LAUGHING ...HE WAS LAUGHING TILL HE CRIED BECAUSE IT HURT HIM SO MUCH TO LAUGH. (THAT PISSED ME OFF)
WHY IS THIS SEEMINGLY HEALTHY CHILD IN SO MUCH PAIN????

I HEAR HE LOOKS SO GOOD AND HE IS SO TALL AND HANDSOME. I WISH HE WAS TRANSPARENT SO WE COULD SEE INSIDE.

I REALLY HATE NOT KNOWING ANYTHING....

I TRULY THINK CANCER SUCKS !
(THIS IS NOT CANCER)
CANCER STILL SUCKS!

WE.. TY-MICHAEL HAS AN ABDOMINAL CT.SCAN 9 AM MONDAY MORNING. WE ARE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS SO WE CAN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON! WE ARE PRAYING ITS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT! TY HAS HAD MANY TESTS DONE AND IS NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO ANOTHER NEEDLE. POOR BABY TRIES SO HARD TO BE STRONG ..HE IS STRONG..I WOULDNT WANT SO MANY NEEDLES EITHER!

ALEX LOVES HIS SCIENCE CAMP! HE HAS BUILT A "REEF BALL" AND THEY SET THEM OUT TO MAKE A REEF . IT'S A VERY COOL PROJECT. HE IS GETTING VERY TAN FROM ALL THE SWIMMING AND SNORKLING THAT HE IS DOING. THEY ARE ALSO ON A BOAT AND TRIPS DOWN THE RIVER . YOU CAN SEE THE CAMP AT WWW.CAMPWET.ORG I AM SO GLAD HE WAS ABLE TO GO TO THIS CAMP.. ALONE..NOT A CANCER CAMP.!! A PLACE FOR ALEX ! SO MANY PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THE ROLE THE SIBLINGS PLAY IN THIS NEW LIFE...THIS IS VERY LIFE ALTERING FOR THEM AS WELL, NO MATTER WHAT THE AGE.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE CHECKING IN ON US! I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE AS SOON AS I KNOW ANYTHING .

**********************************************
ON A SAD NOTE...BABY JALEN KING WAS LAID TO REST ON FRIDAY MORNING. HE WAS SO YOUNG HIS PARENTS WERE SO YOUNG. HIS MOMMY WAS SO STRONG AND A FIERCE FIGHTER. I ONLY MET HER PERSONALLY TWICE. I FOLLOWED THERE BATTLE AS MOST OF US DO THROUGH THE CARING BRIDGE SITES ! I FEEL LIKE WE KNEW THEM.WE HAVE WALKED IN THERE SHOES. HOWEVER WE HAVE NOT HAD TO ENDURE THE LOSS OF OUR LITTLE BOY... OUR HEARTS GO OUT TO HIS ENTIRE FAMILY AND ALL THOSE WHO FELL IN LOVE .JALEN WAS A SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BOY.
**********************************************
WE ARE VERY THANKFUL TO HAVE A PLACE TO SHARE ,LAUGH,CRY, REJOICE AND SCREAM. I COME HERE TOO MANY TIMES A DAY TO CHECK ON MANY OF THE FAMILIES ..
( I HAVE TO CONFESS I AM "A LURKER" ! ) I THINK ANYONE WHO COMES HERE AND LEARNS ABOUT OUR CHILDREN WITH SO MUCH COURAGE AND STRENGTH, SO MUCH WILL TO LIVE AND FIGHT ...MUST SURELY FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM ALL.

PLEASE SAY LOTS OF PRAYERS FOR ALL THE KIDS AND FAMILIES !

Friday, June 6, 2003 0:40 AM CDT

HELLO,
NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS...RIGHT?
NOT CANCER SUCKS!!!!
I HAVE NO ANSWERS YET..STILL UUGGHH !!
I THIN IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW TO NOT
TELL US IN LESS THAN 5 MINUETS IF THE BABY
IS OK OR NOT!

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED THIS WEEK.
ON TOP OF ALWAYS WORRYING ABOUT TY
TWO SWEET BABIES LOST THERE LIVES!
ANTHONY AND JALEN..TWO IN ONE WEEK!

I THINK WE COULD ALL SAY
CANCER SUCKS !!

I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER UNDERSTAND
WHY THIS HAS HAPPENED , WHO HERE
SIGNED A PERMISSION SLIP FOR YOUR
LIFE TO CHANGE SO DRAMATICALLY
AND YOUR CHILDS LIFE TO BECOME
HELL???... THERE LITTLE LIFE FULL OF NEEDLES ,
CHEMO AND PAIN
YES THERE IS SOME GOOD..THAT GOOD IS
ONLY IN THE FRIENDS WE HAVE MADE AND
THE LIFE OF SO MANY WHO HAVE CHANGED
OUR LIFE! THE FAITH, WISDOM AND THE KNOWLEDGE!

TY MICHAEL KNOWS EVERY ASPECT OF HIS
TREATMENT.. HE SHARES WITH EVERYONE
ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO HEAR YOUR 6 YEAR OLD NOW 9
NAME 4 DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHEMO TALK ABOUT
RADIATION AND HOW HE HANDLED THE TREATMENT.

WHY WHY WHY I GUESS THAT WILL BE THE QUESTION
OF THE HOUR.

IM SO READY TO EXPLODE ON THE LAB AND THE DOCTOR
I WANT RESULTS AND I WANT THEM NOW AND CLEAN~~
I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING BUT TY IS JUST FINE!

HE IS HOWEVER GETTING WORSE AS FAR AS NOT EATING AND
THE STOMACH PAIN. HE ALSO JUST LAYS AROUND FOR MOST
OF THE DAY.

I WISH I HAD A MAGIC BALL OR THREE WISHES!
1) AN INSTANT PAINLESS CURE...FOR EVERYONE TOUCHED BY CANCER!

2) A CURE AND A PREVENTION SO NO ONE EVER HAS TO GO THROUGH
THIS . EVER EVER AGAIN !

3) MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO DONATE TO RESEARCH DOCTORS AND LABS
THAT COULD INDEED FIND THE CURE. AND ALL THE CAMPS THAT HELP
MANY FAMILIES ENJOY A FEW DAYS AWAY FROM HOSPITAL LIFE! I THINK I WILL NEED LOTS OF MILLIONS CAUSE WE CAN NOT FORGET ABOUT THE MANY PEOPLE WHO HELP US ALONG THE WAY!
****************************************************************************
PLEASE PRAY FOR BABY JALEN KING AND HIS PARENTS. THE LOSS
THERE FEELING MUST BE INSURMOUNTABLE ! I TAKE MUCH PEACE
IN KNOWING THAT THE PAIN IS GONE THE CANCER IS GONE AND OUR
CHILDREN GO OFF INTO THE SUNSET TO PLAY IN HEAVEN FOREVER! I SAY THAT AS MY CHILDS SLEEPS PEACEFULLY IN HIS BED.
ONE DAY WE WILL ALL BE WITH SEAN , BRANDON, AUBREY, KATIE, ANTHONY, ANTHONY M SABRINA,. ,ROBERT ,SWEET TRAINMAN SETH AND NOW JALEN .. I KNOW MY BROTHER IS ALSO THERE.. MY BABY BROTHER LOVED ALL CHILDREN ..HE WILL WATCH AND PROTECT ALL OF THEM.

JUNE ALSO MARKS THE 2ND ANNIVERSARY OF OUR BELOVED QUINTON , HE PASSED AWAY FROM A MEDULLABLASTOMA ON THE BRAIN STEM. . HE IS FOREVER IN MY HEART.. I LOVE YOU PAPA AND IM FOREVER YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

PEACE AND LOVE TO ALL THE FAMILIES WHO ARE STILL IN THE TRENCHES AND TO THE PARENTS LOOKING TO PIECE THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER.

LOVE AUDRA

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 9:39 AM CDT

TODAY I KNOW NOTHING MORE THAT I KNEW YESTERDAY!

WELL THE VISIT WENT LIKE THIS...
DR GOWDA CHECKED OUT TY-MICHAEL.. HE IS DEFINATLY IN PAIN..DEFINATLEY HAS LOW GRADE FEVER , NO DESIRE TO EAT .. CAR SICKNESS AND NO ENERGY. HE ALSO FEELS SOMETHING BUT THIS SOMETHING COULD BE SCAR TISSUE IT IS LOCATED JUST ABOVE HIS INCISION LINE..
WE HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE HIM CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST DRINKS TO KEEP HIS VITAMINS FLOWING.. HE STILL WILL NOT EAT!

SO WHAT STEPS NEXT?
STOOL SAMPLES, BLOOD AND URINE TESTS AND SEE YA IN TWO DAYS..

DR.GOWDA WANTS TO RULE EVERY OTHER POSSIBLITY OUT..FLU,GASTRO INFECTION, KIDNEY BLADDER AND URINARY TRACT INFECTION..AND ULCERS. BEFORE HE SCANS! TWO MORE DAYS WAITING FOR TEST RESULTS! THEN OF COURSE THE WAITING FOR SCANS WILL BE AT LEAST TWO DAYS AND TWO DAYS FROM NOW IS FRIDAY SO NO RESULTS TILL AT LEAST MONDAY OR TUESDAY. I THINK CANCER SUCKS!

SO THE BOTTOM LINE IS.. WE DONT KNOW ANYTHING...THIS COULD BE AS SIMPLE AS A G.I PROBLEM OR AS MAJOR AS RELAPSE. WE ARE SOMEHOW PLAYING THIS SICKINING WAITING GAME!

STILL PRAYING
STILL SCARED
STILL THINK CANCER SUCKS!

Monday, June 2, 2003 9:10 AM CDT

24 HOURS AND COUNTING.....

TY-MICHAEL WILL BE SEEING DR.GOWDA IN 24 HOURS. I CAN NOT WAIT TILL HIS PUTS HIS HEALING HANDS ON MY LITTLE MAN AND CONFIRMS THAT THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. I NEED HIM TO TELL ME THAT TY-MICHAEL IS INDEED CANCER FREE!

THE WEEKEND WAS LONG AND SCAREY ..
TY IS NOW RUNNING A LOW GRADE FEVER 99.9 THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN AS WE KNOW THAT FEVER AND TUMOR GO HAND IN HAND. TY IS ALSO STILL IN PAIN..HIS BELLY IS PAINFUL TO THE TOUCH AND HE CAN NOT SUCK HIS BELLY IN OR TIGHTEN TO SHOW OFF HIS MUSCLES. HE DID NOT EAT MUCH ALL WEEKEND AND COMPLAINED HE FELT "FULL" . ALL OF THESE SYMPTOMS COULD VERY WELL BE THE START OF THE "LONG TERM SIDE EFFECTS" FROM CHEMO AND RADIATION. HE HAS BEEN SO BLESSED TO SUFFER FROM VERY FEW SIDE EFFECTS. HOWEVER IF YOU THINK ABOUT THE PROTOCALL HE WAS ON ,ITS AMAZING THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE SEVERE SIDE EFFECTS. TY-MICHAEL HAD 28 HIGH DOSE RADIATIONS WITH NO BLOCKS..THE FIELD WAS MID CHEST TO MID THIGH. THE LIST OF SIDE EFFECTS WE WERE TOLD TO EXPECT IS LONGER THAN I CARE TO IMAGINE. SOME OF THE MAJOR EFFECTS IS STOMACH PAIN, SCAR TISSUE , GROWTH DEVELOPMENT (UNEVEN GROWTH IN LEGS,HIPS,PELVIC, AND TOTAL TORSO) AND OF COURSE G.I PROBLEMS ,AS I SAID TO DATE HE HAS NOT HAD ANY OF THESE PROBLEMS. WE ARE VERY LUCKY THERE ..WE HAVE SEEN SOME CHILDREN REALLY SUFFER THE SIDE EFFECTS FOR MANY MANY YEARS!

TY HAS JUST CRAWLED OUT OF BED..HE IS HOT..I WILL NOT CHECK HIS TEMP. BECAUSE I WILL NOT MENTALLY SURVIVE THE NEXT 24 HOURS .THE WAITING SUCKS SO BAD. THE UNCERTAINTY EVEN WORSE... I THINK THAT CANCER SUCKS BEYOND ANYTHING! I HATE THAT I CAN NOT LOOK AT MY LITTLE BOY AND THINK HE IS GOING TO GROW UP NORMAL HEALTHY STRONG AND CANCER FREE .. I FEAR THE VERY THOUGHT OF HIS CANCER COMING BACK.

SO TO MY FRIEND OUT THERE... YES THIS IS MAJOR SELF TORTURE AND TUESDAY AFTERNOON I WILL BE TYPING THAT ALL IS WELL IN OUR WORLD AND TY IS INDEED FINE. AND ALL THE WORRY DID NOTHING BUT UPSET US AND MAKE THE FIRST FEW DAYS OF SUMMER STRESSFUL!
TY-MICHAEL WILL GO TO MY MOTHERS TODAY WHILE I WORK . I WILL NOT LEAVE HIM WITH STRANGERS OR SUMMER CAMP STAFF THAT REALLY DOES NOT KNOW HOW HE ACTS AND WILL NOT KNOW IF SOMETHING IS IMPORTANT OR NOTICE IF HE IS IN NEED OF MEDICAL ATTENTION.

LOOK FOR OUR UPDATE TUESDAY AFTERNOON/EVENING. !

ALEX IS AT A SPECIAL SCIENCE SUMMER CAMP. HE WAS ALL READY TO GO ... HE WILL SNORKEL , SURF, DO SCIENTIFIC TESTS ON WATER PLANTS AND FISH , SO MANY NEAT THINGS... ALEX WAS CHOSEN TO ATTEND THIS CAMP WHEN HE MADE AN "A" ON HIS SCIENCE PROJECT.. HE DID THIS YEARS PROJECT ALL BY HIMSELF. WE ARE VERY PROUD OF HIM AND HOPE THIS SUMMER CAMP IS A SPECIAL ONE !

THANKS FOR CHECKING IN ON US!

LOVE , AUDRA TIM ALEX AND TY

Saturday, May 31, 2003 1:31 AM CDT

FOUR DAYS AND COUNTING......

TY-MICHAEL SEES DR.GOWDA ON TUESDAY MORNING. THIS WAS A SCHEDULED VISIT...** HOWEVER** MIKE IS NOT FEELING WELL.. I AM
PRAYING ITS JUST THE FLU OR THE HEAT SOMETHING SIMPLE.

AS WE ALL KNOW THIS IS NOT THE WAY WE SEE A ILLNESS IN OUR CHILD. THERE IS NO MORE NORMAL COLDS STOMACH FLU OR HEADACHES ..HECK A TOOTHACHE AND WERE RUNNING OFF TO THE DOCTOR. I THINK THIS SUCKS.. I THINK CANCER SUCKS!!

TY DID REALLY GREAT IN SCHOOL ,WE ARE VERY PROUD OF HIM.

PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE FIGHTING THIS BEAST
AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE TRYING TO HEAL FROM THE LOSS OF
THERE BEAUTIFUL CHILD.

The only thing we can do is pray and stand strong..we have no control!

CANCER SUCKS in case anyone forgot!

Audra Tim Alex and Ty-Michael

p.s I will update after our visit with dr.G on Tuesday!

Friday, May 23, 2003 10:39 PM CDT

Hello,

All is well here. The children are getting excited about summer break. I cant believe its already summer time. Where has the last year gone? Seems the years pass when were not looking.

Alex medical report:
heart perfect
gallbladder perfect
G.I system perfect
blood reports also perfect!

So any ideas why he is having such chest pain if all the tests show "an extremely athletic child" with nothing wrong! Seems its just another twist in the mystery of life with children.

I must tell you how funny Ty-Michael and Alex have been.. Seems there a comedic team! Tonight it was as if they were putting on there own talent/musical/comedy show. Tim and I laughed until we were in tears.. My ribs are very sore and my cheeks also!!
I love the way they are. Ty is very dramatic and so very funny he has picked up a joke from dad. It is a silly joke but when Tim told Ty-Michael about the " Indian who never forgets" Ty laughed so hard he has Timmy's since of humor! Great quality to get from dad!

Ty will be going to camp fiesta this summer this camp in located at Birch State Park in Ft.Lauderdale this is a camp for children who have or have had cancer. They range from 7-17 and the older kids/teens are counsler's in training. They stay in cabins that are very cool with bunk beds television and window a/c units and video games , yes I know this doesn't sound very primitive but . He is really looking forward to this camp as they go and do just about everything you can imagine. A trip to Orlando to see Mickey Mouse is also included in this "camping excursion ". Last year they went bowling, went to boomers went to see movies and rollerskate. They ate dinner out everynight I must thank lee Klein for inviting Ty.all the kids there are beating cancer in one way or another. I love to see all the kids who are able to be kids . Laugh and live after this cancer has altered there childhood and most don't even blink an eye at there suffering. They all seem to know the true meaning of life. They all know how short life can be. They all know way to much about CANCER! So off they go for the week ..to play as children should!

We hope everyone has a great long weekend. We will be lazy this weekend. And well its raining here so I doubt we will do much outside!

Please continue to pray for all of the kids and there families . Pray for remission for all of them. Pray for a cure. And don't forget that ...god does hear our prayers!

Friday, May 16, 2003 9:27 AM CDT

We are so glad that our survivor will be with us tonight at Relay for Life! Today seems so surreal to me.
I think it's the word's Survivors Walk/Lap.!!
Did we ever imagine we would walk this walk ?? And all survive. Three years ago did we believe we would stand today together as a family.. A family of strangers , a family of fighters!
Every candle we light tonight will be lit with love. Love for those who have reached long term remission, the many still fighting as well as honor the sweet ones that have gone ahead.
I doubt there will be a dry eye in the house this evening as we see Hope spelled out in candles each one for someone we love. Hope and faith is all we have today. That is all we will ever have HOPE !

Zach will walk with Ty-Michael tonight , next year and the many after that! I think our boys leading the pack provides hope and healing for so many of us.( The parents who can only watch and pray the siblings who are pushed aside while the battle rages on and the friends who call at 3 am cause this Cancer Crap can be too overwhelming some days. )
We will be lighting way to many candles tonight..
But in light every candle we do light is five dollars towards a cure..five extra dollars towards research..five dollars toward camp.. And the many wonderful services provided by the American Cancer Society.
Today let our children walk together and lighten the steps of those who will be walking behind and beside these fighting nine year old's !!

We love all of you ! May a candle shine bright for all of us touched by cancer .. There is a cure !

Monday, May 12, 2003 7:28 PM CDT

Hello and happy Monday to everyone!

I first want to tell you how wonderful my boys and time were this mothers day. ..
Tim and the boys went shopping .. From what I understand Ty-Michael said in a very stern voice "were not going to the dollar store dad!" way to go mike!! Lol . The boys picked out the sweetest gifts. Alex a silver locket and chain ,inside a picture of him. I don't think I have ever received a more loving gift from him.. Ty-Michael bought me a silver cross with "Diamonds" its so pretty .. Now my only problem is I have two beautiful necklaces all tangled around ..because I cant wear one and not the other... I would have to suffer the wrath of male children..! Well my husband as usual knows exactly what I like and I recieved a bottle of Poisen. Yes and I am happy about that lol .. My favorite parfume. I am beyond spoiled!

Thank you so much for those who signed mikes book this week your entrys are very encourageing to me .. Some days are just so hard to face..and by the grace of god and the love of my family here we start another week!

I have found that the first thing I do every morning is visit the web pages of all of our children..not allways in the same order but Kathy's is always first ..she has such a grasp on her feelings and knowing how to explaine them to all of us ,well she is a saint . I love to hear how well they are all doing. Even on bad days . . kathy I pray that I can one day have the wisdome to share with my teenage daughters and the patience to let them grow up and like a butterfly spread there wings and fly. You are an amazing mom .

We have met so many people in the last three years or so its hard to imagine. We love everyone of the children and there parents and siblings. You have all touched our lives and even when I think about how horrible cancer is and how I would not wish this life on my worst enemy I personally would not change where we have been and where we are going. .
I still hear my mother saying over and over that god only gives us what we can handle. I hope that this is true. I hope that should we have to face this monster again that we have the strength to fight and kick some rhabdo butt!!

Correction on the last update... Ty-Michael is only 30 months cancer free!! Im sorry for any confusion there. We wish it were 35 everyday we get a little more normalcy in our life and everyday we realise where we have been. We are so blessed with today.

Ok so thats all for now. I will update soon .. School is almost over for the summer .. Camp swimming camping,fishing ,canoe etc etc etc all the boys stuff... and I get !!!! ..a few days alone with my husband.. Could a girl be so lucky?

Thank you all for checking in on ty .
Love forever
audra

Friday, May 9, 2003 7:29 AM CDT

Hello,
We are as of today 35 months Cancer Free! GO MIKE!

Many of you MOM'S know how surreal this total new life style can be. Some days are way better than others. Some days you can keep yourself together and go about your day to day activities ,others a Hallmark commercial can make you sit down for an hour and cry..then continue on with our day . Today is a mixed emotion day ..only 9 am and I've had several bouts with tears ..and a few of laughter as well..

The tears shed this day are for my own mother who feels the heartbreak of the loss of her youngest son. It has been 8 years now .. Today it feels like yesterday.
My brother died on Mothers Day..I know its only Friday but the tears have come a little early. Everywhere I go
I hear happy mothers day .. Im so not into hearing that.. Mothers day isnt a happy day for everyone!

So add a little Tim into my morning .. The sunshine that can break through every cloud ..so in comes laughter. He is the greatest dad.. I think he should get a mothers day card also cause one day (fathers day) just isnt enough for a guy like Tim. Today he sends the boys off to school not to make a sound to wake me.. Then comes home to smother me with kisses.. Is there a better way to be woken up? I think not!!

Today my ultimate goal is
1)To be grateful of every day I have with my family ..
2) Remember my brother and so many other mothers and children are separated too early in life.
3) keep the happy memories flowing.. Knowing they are all playing at the feet of Jesus healthy happy secure and pain free. No CANCER!
4) never forget that we will all be together soon.

We are all sending our love to every mom AND dad who will be honored on Sunday!

Happy Mothers Day!
Love Audra

Wednesday, May 7, 2003 8:20 AM CDT

Welcome back sunny florida. I think it has come a little early. As the temp. rises so does the excitement of the children , there so excited about summer vacation. Alex will be going to Camp Wet a water camp,where he will learn how to scuba dive snorkel surf. Identify water creatures, and many other scientific activities .. He was invited to camp after getting an A on his science project.
When school starts up in the fall he will be a 5th grader!! He is really excited.

Ty has been very interesting to say the least. His behavior has changed in an extremely drastic way. He is very aggressive and also suffers from a severe case of spoiled child syndrom. Are you surprised? Ty is a creature all his own. Life is his way or the highway. No is not in his vocabulary unless he has been told to do chores etc.
Three years ago not only was this determined head strong "will to live" encouraged but we also had to follow his lead. To those who have watched the battle that he survived ..should know that it was his personality and his will to fight and remain a 5 year old. That kept all of us going forward each day.
So now do we say "oh god what have we created" or " oh god look what you have created in this child, perfect spirt, knowledge beyond his years and the most loving heart to ever beat" . We are so grateful for all of our blessings to have Ty here with us everyday..just for today!
So to our friends who see our unruly child as a disturbance remember .this is Ty-Michaels fight we will never understand him inside. We work very hard to keep him in check but we also want him to hold on to that fight hold on to knowing that he is here only because he was so determined .. Should this Rhabdomysarcoma come back... I want my son to continue to fight just as he has the last three and a half years. By the grace of God he will fight.
As far as the ideas we have been giving ,how we should punish him " a old fashion spanking etc." we don't believe in beating our children.. He loose his toys television and the worst punishment for Ty is not being allowed to play outside and the time out chair. So we battle with a strong headed child with the belief in god stronger than most preachers, an "unruly" little man who in many ways does run our life..the question I pose is this... if your child was terminally sick already spent a year in the hospital and you know that the possibility of relapse is very high .. Would you ..spank that child. Or just find other ways to punish them..time out etc. If you have any good ideas for me just let me know..

Tim and I are doing great. Working hard together to keep life as normal as possible with our conflicting schedules. I have been truly blessed with Timmy , there isnt a more loving man on earth. As well as a dedicated teacher father and husband. I do think I will keep him !!!

Please pray for all the children fighting today, please pray for all the parents kneeling at there child's resting place and please don't forget to pray for all the children who have reached remission to remain cancer free forever!

Audra .

Wednesday, April 30, 2003 11:04 AM CDT

Hello from all of us..
There is so much to update on. Our weekend was wonderful as can be.
My nephew Joshua and my Aunt Donna are here from Ct. there visit has been so great I don't want them to leave. We have had so much fun together and laughter and tears together have never been so sweet. My uncle luke passed away a few weeks ago and I think they needed some love and healing. We have been so blessed to have this week together.

Friday I went and picked up Joshua and Sieharra from moms house and embarked on quite an adventure ..Friday night we went and had dinner with my dad and lisa , we talked a lot and just enjoyed being together.

Saturday we headed out to a Cattle Barron Ball for the American Cancer Society. This is a Hoop De-doo type of event ..we all went cowboy style boots hats and jeans. The kids were great and enjoyed gambling as well as singing on stage with the band .. What outgoing children I have.. Ty-michael and I were to speak for acs. We were asked to share Ty's story . He is a survivor ! We had a wonderful time, we danced the night away. We stayed up most of the night mixing the tears and giggles and to say the least the night was amazing!
Sunday was also a great event. Again we were at an event for the American Cancer Society . This event was extra special as it marked the 10th anniversary of the Nicholas R.Chiera golf and tennis classic. The Chiera family has been donating to ACS as well as R.O.C.K Weekend and Summer camp at Boggy Creek. The support they give to our children is awesome. The dinner was great ,the food wonderful. This event turned out to be quite exciting as there were several athletes there all were open to our children for auto graphs and photos as well as donating items for the live and silent auction. Several of our friends were there Zach ,Kyle,Travis (along with there parents)I think everyone had a great time.
The Chiera Family put together a most wonderful night! Thank you for all the hard work and dedication.

Monday came way to soon ..

Aunt Donna and Joshua were scheduled to leave this morning ..however I think someone upstairs had better plans ,an extra day in south florida?!?!? ...some special agent caused a huge bomb scare and the flights were all messed up.. HE HE HE wasn't me!! There scheduled to leave tommrow.. I am really going to miss them both.

Ty-Michael is doing very well .. He is growing about an inch a day and his report card shows he is learning lots in school. We are very proud of him. He is so full of energy I wish I had a pinky full..
Tonight Ty is being so bad!! Lol this may come as a surprise to you all but ..Ty is a wild man and loves to drive us wild with his crazy antics. Usually he does just that.. ! tonight he is working double time !!

**********************************************
caring bridge would not let me update yesterday!

I wanna add to my Aunt and nephews trip... yesterday they left PBIA and headed to Atlanta for the flight change... they get on the plane sit forever the pilot comes on a says the plane is BROKEN and everyone needs to re-rout ..geeesh . I doubt I will be doing any flying !!!

**********************************************

Friday, April 18, 2003 9:01 AM CDT

Hello,
Happy Easter to everyone..

All is well here .. The boys have been enjoying there spring break and as I type this they are both curled up on the couch watching a John Wayne movie.. I sometimes marvel at there love for each other .. Then they go to fists and I think ahhh the joys of boys!

In my last update I mentioned Dr. Jerry Brown and the Tooth Fairy Project.. Well this little event has been very life altering as well as eye opening . As a mother who thinks you did "everything" right ,healthy pregnancy, protective parent and pretty close to a health food junkie, I have now found out that Ty-Michael's cancer most likely came from the environment around us.. The St.Lucie nuclear power plant as well as the Turkey Point power plant.. Both of these nuclear energy power plants emit radiation into our drinking water our soil and basically all of our local grown food.. Now when Ty was on active treatment I remember that I would only give him locally grown food ..cause I didn't want to give him something grown in another country ..not knowing the conditions and how its been grown.. What a huge mistake.. We as parents are so unknowing to all of this I feel as if FPL should at least give families the option to not live here and raise our children here .. And they should disclose all the "problems" they have had with leakage as well as the amount of radiation they are emmiting into our environment . We should have a choice ,We should be informed..and when you move into these areas you should get a little letter saying that your risking your childs life living here..not welcome to the neighborhood. I personally don't think I will ever eat again. I now know that our water is contaminated with stronium 90 ,we know that the increased levels of radiation are causing our children to get cancer. When its all put together I know I did not cause my little boy to get sick.. The parental guilt associated with childhood cancer is off the chain, I as a parent have beaten my head against every wall wanting to know what I did, what could I have done to prevent this monster from growing in my baby.. Well the truth be known .. There was nothing I could do to prevent this. Those who come from the northern states to florida ..remeber how beautiful the florida oranges looked when you bought them and how different they look here growing on the trees.. Well that alone should have been a huge hint to problems.. But we as consumers take comfort in our government over seeing the growth of crops as well as our fresh water supply and fishing industry. Guess what friends there not doing there job! Seems no one will take the "BLAME" FPL even has gone as far as to say that the American Cancer Society agrees with them (fpl) that the levels of radiation emited are not high enough to do any harm..
I would love to introduce all of you to our friends ...lets see the majority of them live in St.Lucie, Martin,Palm Beach,Broward and Dade countys. All five of these counties have very high levels of radiation. The power plants are located in St.Lucie and Dade.. The natural process of air and wind movement bring this "harmless" radiation back to our Florida land.. The majority of our friends are families fighting cancer or living with the loss of there child due to cancer. I think there should be some major changes in the type of energy and power used in our state!
Ok I will get off my soap box now and hope that everyone will do a little research of there own there is proof scientific proof ..my son tested a 6.5 some of his friends even higher! You make your own decisions ..if anyone would like to see the physical evidence check out the photo pages .. And I have all the scientific data if you would like a copy!

Please continue to pray for all of the children fighting and the families who will be spending Easter Sunday without there child or in hospitals fighting for one more day.

Also check out Zach Finestones web page if your in need of a good laugh.. Zachs silly dad is really keeping spirts high!

Happy Easter and God Bless
Audra

Wednesday, April 9, 2003 9:59 PM CDT

Hello,
I am so sorry its been so long since my last update. We have been trying to get back into the "normal" swing of life. I am back to work part time (it feels like double time) in an insurance agency where I enjoy my work. This is all very helpful and is a great distraction from what our life has been through in the past three years. However it does not remove the fear and I have always been a car crier so the hour drive home every night is usually emotional..

I have been keeping up on all our friends even though I haven't posted anywhere in awhile I am always lurking around! And I never know what to say!

The boys are doing ok Ty-Michael has a cough that sounds terrible but he says he feels alright. So were just watching .
Alex has used his monitor several times a day since we hooked him up ..meaning that he has had the chest pains. So we call it in every night, the doctor says his heart is normal and the up's and down's on his heartbeat are normal. He says that the problem might be with his asthma or his stomach..we don't know so.. We are now going to look for a G.I doctor to test for acid reflux ! Alex gets very frustrated with the doctor visits he doesn't like doctors needles or any thing else medical related..I hope that we can get to the root of the problem with Alex, he is missing out on a lot of his favorite sports and physical activities .. He is a natural athlete.

Tomorrow I will be meeting with Dr.Jerry Brown.. One of the doctors behind the tooth fairy project. I will be speaking at a press release about Ty and how his teeth tested positive for Stronium 90 .. Ty's teeth tested a 6.5 I think normal is like .01-.05.
I am scared as usual I don't know why I always agree to speak .. I guess I know that without awareness we have no research and with out research we have no cure and without a cure we have no way to save our children.. You and I could not find the cure for cancer..but Ty's face and his story of a survivor still trying to survive at only 9 years old ..will if nothing else bring awareness to all of our kids. There has to be a cure out there somewhere.

We went to the Mitchell Mania on Sunday ,that was a lot of fun. The kids enjoyed all the games and the rock wall was a favorite for all! It was so nice to see so many family's together helping a family beat this cancer crap! There were a few friends there I did not know how to talk to..
I wish there was a class on how to talk to your friends after there kid dies of cancer. I am always stumbling over my words sounding like a complete idiot ..trying to make sure I don't say the wrong thing..please know this is all internal I read the feelings of these wonderful friends and know that they like to talk about there child. I think all of this is surreal . I cant even believe that I am typing this to you ..accepting the fact that cancer is a big part of our life and will be forever. Before 11-11-99 I never knew a child with cancer.. Now I have loved so many and lost too many. I guess is the adult part of life.. Hhmm I think CANCER SUCKS! I think everything about CANCER SUCKS !

Thank you for letting me vent here on Ty's page . He really does like to read the posts. From all of you.

Thank you for checking in on Ty and the family.

Peace and Love
Audra .

Sunday, March 30, 2003 11:47 PM CST

Hello!
Ty-Michael has been doing very well. He has had a few minor issues that may or may not be long term side effects to chemo and radiation. This includes neurological ticks ,I am of course watching very close because these ticks are new. Ty has never had this as far as we can remeber, so again we are just watching!

Last week was report card week!! Well needless to say Ty-Michael had perfect grades and again only one check for Talking too much ?!? His teacher is great and very patient with him , she also understands the personality and the spoiled child syndrom so he doesn't get away with much there.

Alex is really starting to worry me... he has the chest monitor and it works much better now that "WE" know what were doing. So he wears the monitor and when he has the Chest pain he pushes the record button...meanwhile the monitor is following his heartbeat ..when he pushed the record it records one minuet back and one forward to see exactly what his heart was doing "at the time he had the pain" ...well were finally ok with this,,calling in everyday feeling like were doing nothing and finding out even less.. Well night before last he was in bed with us in tears he was in so much pain. I hooked his monitor on good and told him to record as many times as needed and then I would call it in .. The record only holds 6 recordings and then needs to be called in to empty its memory.. So I call it in when we get up and the guy on the phone says expect a call from the Dr. well I asked why ?? The doctor never called before this guy replies that there is an issue the doctor needs to review.. YET he wont tell me what it is ...so I waited and waited and waited and no doctor call.. I figure its been all day must not have been anything... so tonight I call in his monitor and he had three bad chest pain episodes today.. I ask the girl what she was seeing and she said that he has had SOME irregular heartbeat but nothing too major and they don't call the doctor unless its over 150 beats , I then ask well what is he now because he base is about 74 she said he was in the 130's and not to worry .. Well hello the paramedics took him in 12 point access when his beat was less than 125. So I don't know what to do, we hook him up everyday we call in his monitor and we wait until May the 6th for stress test.. I don't recall anyone saying that parent hood was also Medschool 101!

Well thats all for today. Im feeling a bit low, a little tired and as usual so unsure of what is going on in me childrens bodies. Please say prayers for all of them.

Tuesday, March 25, 2003 9:26 AM CST

Wow life has been action packed !
Ty-Michael is doing great and growing as fast as ever! He is doing great in school and loves every bit of it!

We have been doing American Cancer Society events this past weekend we did the Cattle Barron's Ball in Palm City, this was another benefit to raise funds for Boggy Creek (our favorite place in the world) We all dressed the cowboy part and had a lot fun with it. Ty was as social as ever and made a huge impact on all who attended. They took lots of pictures of the family im so excited to see them. !!

Then this Saturday we did a dance marathon to raise funds for the Children's miracle Network. This was held at FAU and this was our third year, we as parents go to tell the story of our child's fight and how Cancer has affected all of our lives . This really shows the dancers FAU Students and Sorority ‘s where there hard work really goes.! This year Alex stayed awake the entire event,Sieharra stayed awake till 6:30 and napped till around 7:30 am..Ty and I we slept on the floor of the parents room from 3:30 till around 6 am TIM went to the hotel and slept all night !!! the dance Started at 5:00
pm and ended at 11 am . The night consisted of dancing , games , silly games and more dancing lots of food and plenty of fun! We met some really wonderful people . Zach was the HULA HOOP CHAMP!! Not that anyone should be surprised we don't know how he does it but the boy can hula like no other!! We also had the opportunity to meet some new family's there children didn't have cancer but life threatening life altering illness and CMN had an impact on there lives also..
Thank you to FAU and CMN for a great night..The students raised a total of $8,000.00!!! We are so proud of all of your dedication.

Well Alex and his heart seem to be a continued problem. We still have no clue what is happening to his heart . The doctors continue to say he is just growing ..we hope the addition of a monitor and some more tests show us where the problem is.. He seems to have no problem with activity or sports the chest pain seems to come in waves even if he is just laying around. He has these pains several times a day. Then add a doctor who I hear is great but we cant see on a Healthy Basis. Meaning that Alex had to wait 5 weeks for his first set of tests and that was February 25th now he has to wait until May 5th for a stress test.. Do you think the doctor is really that booked that he cant squeeze one little boy into his schedule??? Uugghhh the frustration.!

Everything else seems to be going well.. I guess I could write for ever . Its been awhile since my last update!

Thanks for checking in on us!

Audra

P.S the boys are going to be BAT BOYS at Friday's florida marlins game against the expos ! This was a gift from Rob at waterfront property. A limo will pick the three boys (tim 2) and wisk them away.. There all so excited. Thank you Rob and ACS for everything!

Sunday, March 9, 2003 6:51 PM CST

Hello all !
Hope everyone had a great weekend...
I am almost afraid to say that "life is really good"! Only afraid because that is when the other shoe will drop!!! lol

Last night Ty-Michael was the VIP for the American Cancer Society, a black tie event at the Ritz Golf & County Club in Jupiter. All I can say is WOW and We are all so happy to be included in so many wonderful events.
SOOO...
Sieharra our beautiful 14 yr old was discovered. Her amazing face will be splashed across the pages of Mary K cosmetic's ..I am far from surprised Sieharra has the most incredible eyes I have ever seen.. Well she really stood out last night in her evening gown and very little make up.. She may be the next Super Model!!
Ty-Michael and Alex were as usual social butterfly's ... Both were very handsome in there matching outfits ( I should stop that lol)
But they did look great. When we were invited we were not told of the celebrity guests that would be attending. Well .... Jim Palmer and Mike Schmidt both hall of fame baseball players were there.. That was awesome!!
Alex actually wore a 1983 diamond world series ring that was Jim Palmers.. He did not understand just how "once in a lifetime" that was! Alex and Mike were introduced to Mike Schmidt..( Alex still had Jims ring on) the photographers had a blast and I cant wait for pictures!! Lol hehe
There was a live auction. All the money raised is for BOGGY CREEK!!! And of course some research etc. One of the items auctioned off was a Baseball bat autographed and numbered Mike Schmidt hall of fame 93 and the other was a baseball autographed by Jim Palmer. Who ever the bidder was for both of these items ..bat ball and day as bat boy at Roger Dean Stadium .. Donated there Prize to the boys! So Alex and Ty will be bat boys for a baseball game.. I will let everyone know the date of that event. The bidder also gave the boys the ball and bat.. Tim (dad) let them look at these items lovingly and then they have both been taken to the storage of Treasures ( all sports collectibles) not to be seen again till there 20 lol ..
The owner of Water Front Properties also will be sending his limo for the boys ,so they will be getting top notch treatment for the game!
We had several photo sessions with all the kids as well as the guests who supported the ACI and BOGGY! I wish I could tell you the magnitude of generosity , Item # 4 was "how many kids can we send to Boggy! " it takes $1000.00 per child to go to Boggy Creek for a week of being a child playing laughing and not thinking about cancer... well they put all the kids there were five including my three on the stage and started... a total of 17 thousand was raised ... the prize for the bidder (s) a photo with the kids and a warm fuzzy heart!

Wanna hear about wonderful food lol !! Tim was in his glory.. There was so many wonderful items .. Yum yum!! Monster shrimp, and grilled veggies as well as fruit and cheese started during the cocktail and mingle session.. Then dinner .. Wow again.. We had the most wonderful steak it was like butter no knife needed ... Alex says it wasn't steak.. The sides were just as great!! Need I say the boys did not eat a bite and wanted cereal when we got home lol!! Kids! We all had a wonderful time and we are all looking forward to the next five weeks.. Ty has four more dinners to attend its going to be hectic but he knows that he is helping raise money for him and his friends to go to boggy for a week!
I believe the final total for the evening was $135,000.00 what a great evening!!

I will post photos soon.. Can you believe that my camera was dead and I was not able to take pictures of this event!! For those who know me as picture crazy must be in shock right now!! Lol but there were many others who did take photo's ...and I am sure there will be some in the paper.

We would like to thank everyone for there generosity and American Cancer Society for having us. We hope that every child touched by cancer will beable to go to boggy this summer as well as benefit from all the services offered by ACI!

Thank you also to everyone who checks in on Ty and our family we love you all!!
Also in case anyone missed our test results from last weeks scans....
MIKE IS NOW 28 MONTHS CANCER FREE!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 4, 2003 11:02 PM CST

We are happy to announce that....

Ty-Michael had CLEAN SCANS!!!

This also is the first time Ty has had scans and the doctors or techs whomever did not find SOMETHING to make us worry again for a week... Everything came out great and now we watch and enjoy...

We or I should say I of course, am still in meltdown mode..but we are so happy. He will see Doctor Gowda again in SIX months. Unless he has any further complaints. We do not have a answer as to why he has lost so much weight and why he has bone pain.. The only answers seem to be that he really is just growing and with growing comes pain and weight loss... and longer jeans!

Alex is still on his monitor.. I am not sure if he likes the attention from the monitor or if he is actually in pain as often as he says, now that he has the monitor... the bad thing about this monitor is it records and then we have to send through the phone lines whatever it recorded ..that means we do not get to see what is going on ..

We I am going to head to bed ... I am exhausted from days of worry and lack of sleep.. I think I will sleep comfy tonight! Thank you for checking on us all !

Audra Schmidt

p.s yes I am so serious about the dates in the last post..
Many dates and many little fingers working so strangely in our lives!

Monday, March 3, 2003 11:57 PM CST

A little back ground on the family...

Ashley Marie Horne born 09-09-87

Sieharra Nicole Horne ..breach 12-21-88

Donald H Horne jr. 12-12-89

Darrrell "Alex "Sweatt 04-04-92
And
Ty-Michael Carl Schmidt 02-02-94

these dates are the date one of our children was born...

Ty-Michael was diagnosed with cancer 11-11-99

I know to most this must seem like just numbers but
there is clearly a connection between them all..

We never noticed that the children hmm and teenagers are all born on the day of the month they were born on ... what are the chances in that??

03-03-03
... today my uncle passed away.. A peaceful death for a old salty a Fisherman..he was my fathers First Mate on the AUDA II .He was quite old I think , he was very old when I was a little kid ! He is at peace..and my heart goes to my cousin and family back home.I love you all!!

Anyway my rambling get me no where ...
Ty was pretty good at scans today. He is the ham of the century and that is putting it mild! All the ladies at the imagine center just dote on Ty lol he loves the girls!
The contrast is pretty nasty stuff to drink! And can I say that I miss his port more than anything ... this poor guy has no veins .. The only one that does work hurts like crazy for him to get an I.V in his wrist/hand... anyway he only needs the line for contrast , a pretty quick injection... so The Future Dr.Ty -Michael ..always tells the nurse where to put it and he smmoozesss them so they do what he says and then they try and line him and instead blow a vein and then before you know it the kid looks like a pin cushion ,,and he does! .. Well he finally got the i.v in his hand and had the scans... we are waiting to hear from Dr.G that is why I am writing tonight so I am not online reading all morning before work when DR.G is going to call and say he is A-ok...

Its very late I hope to tell you all good news tommrow

Audra Schmidt

CANCER SUCKS!

Sunday, March 2, 2003 11:48 PM CST

Well I figure that this is a journal about our life as a family changed by cancer ,good times and the bad ,happy days and mad & the days we as parents have total meltdown !

I really carry a lot of fear for Ty-Michael and his scans tommrow. He continues to loose inches and well as active as he is you would think he is fine however .. He is still in a lot of pain.

So welcome to the midnight postings !

I bought me a new cancer sucks shirt last night! The logo on the front is beautiful and the back says "someone I care about got cancer and all I got was this lousy t-shirt! .. I wore it all day and love all the new items available!!

anyway .. I am going to try and sleep .. I have been trying .. I cant find calm sleep.. We will be at St.Marys at 8:15 am... and done ???
I will keep everyone updated on the results!

Thank you to everyone
Audra

Wednesday, February 26, 2003 0:23 AM CST

Hello,
Just a quick update about the boys!

Well Ty saw Dr.Gowda today and he ordered the scans .. C.T X-ray and bone scan. His blood looked good. But he did loose a large amount of weight. The total in two weeks is 7 pounds. He will see Dr.Gowda next week to check for any additional loss . He lost three pant sizes! The child does not stop eating.
Dr.G doesn't think that the pain in his leg is from the radiation. I am waiting to hear from Tracy about scan dates! Basically I have no clue .
Again poor Dr. G . Mike loves this male comando style..anyone with boys knows what i mean!! .. I think he does it just to see dr g laugh, it worked!

Alex ... well there is another adventure.. This is definatly not growing pains... and any doctor who felt it was is a total Quack!
Alex will be wearing a heart monitor for a few weeks .. To monitor his heart daily during all types of activities as well as sleep. Alex used to suffer from sleep apnea when he was a young child . The monitor will pick that up also! So another waiting game ..yuck!!!!!! I should be used to this by now!

Zachary Finestone father Scott has some great ideas for more t-shirts and even bumper stickers. I must have at least one of everything .. I am in desperate need of buttons...everyone has taken my buttons..Today i gave my last one to an old man, he asked me "what is Cancer Sucks Club" and i said " a club you don't wanna join. HE answers with .. Too late im already a member and the man was a survivor himself.. Well had an accent and im not sure where he is from but he said he still didn't know what sucks ment lol .. I told him cancer is no fun and he took my button and wore it on his jacket. I am very saddened by the amount of people that are so deeply touched by CANCER! I am glad that Scott is pulling us all together showing our Heros and fight.. With awareness comes research!!

I will be sure to update as soon as i have more answers for you about the "Little Men"

Tuesday, February 25, 2003 0:38 AM CST

Hello All,
Thank you for visiting Ty-Michaels web page today.

As you can see its very late, my three men have been asleep for hours now and I cant seem to slow my mind down.! So much is happening all at the same time. I think The stress of the unknowns are worse than the answers ...some days anyway!

2-25-03 .. We have been waiting for this day for five weeks now. Alex finally will see the Heart Specialist we are really praying for some good answers as to why he keeps having heart pain everyday .. And he is looking for a clean bill of health so he can go play basketball, ride his bike and do something called an Olly on his skateboard! He has been banned from all activities until we know what is happening with him. Alex is extreme athletic so not being allowed to play makes him very unhappy! Pray that the quacko doctors that say his cardiac arithmia is growing pain this was there first and only answer so far! Or at least give us some answers...ever know a kid to have mild caridac arrest from growing??? DOCTORS UUUGGGHH

So moving right along here !! Ty-Michael is going to see Dr.Gowda at 10 am also on 2-25-03 ..lets call this DR.DAY!

Anyway. Ty was set to have his six month check up in about two weeks this includes scans ct.mri.xray and of course bloodwork. However our plans have changed and he will be seeing Gowda sooner , Now anyone here who knows how Ty is and knows that his little body always likes to play games with us at scan time .. And you will understand why as usual I( mom) am totally freaked out. No Tim is not. Ty is a little worried.. He was around some family and friends recently ..most have commented on how skinny he is looking , i didn't notice the differance and figure it's a growing spirt...then a few days ago he started complaining of leg pain .. In the bone of his right thigh .I am praying that this pain in part of a long term side effect from the radiation ,he did have so much radiation to his little body and we were told he might have pain while growing... again this is what i pray we find ..growing pains! Can you belive that the answer growing pains in both my boys ... hmm last i looked they were not string beans!! And its definatley not my great cooking!! (lol)

Rhabdomyosarcoma is a beast i care not meet again, a horrible beast that steals children and distroys the lives of so many family's. I always want to know where is the research ? Why are there no good answers ... and why is it the mom that is up at 2 am worried sick !!!!?????? CANCER SUCKS FOR EVERYONE!! Just in case anyone forgot!

Some how through this all our family has become closer and stronger . We really value our time together and snuggling up watching videos seems to be the prime way to spend some time together...
So off we go to see Gowda and mikes friends. I think he is looking forward to going ..he gets so many kisses!!! He never complains and actually looks forward to seeing the doctors and nurses. This i find to be helpful ..i guess its better than him being afraid. He is also a social butterfly SO look out world here comes MIKEY!!

Again thank you all for visiting us.. I will be sure to post what the doctors think?? !!

Love to all
Audra

Tuesday, February 18, 2003 1:04 AM CST

Hello Family and Friends,

Just a quick update to let you know how Ty and the Gang are doing!
Report cards were last week and both Alex and Ty-Michael made honor roll again.Ty had the check by talking again . I am thinking this is something we will see on most of his report cards! He is developing at a wonderful rate and his since of humor is beyond our greatest expectations. Ty will be having a new photo taken at the Quantum House by Michael Price ,only this set will be in color~ I am so excited .. I know my cowboy will be the cutest thing ever!!

Alex is doing much better, dare I say that he hasn't had any heart pain in a few days . We are still not sure what the cause of this pain so until he sees a cardio dr. on the 25th of February he is on light activity and no sports! I can honestly say he isn't very happy with me! His report card was great and he now has the Hooked on Phonics that he is working on .. And loving learning using this method.

Tim and I are doing great ,we have been working hard together to keep the family life and work life at a even balance. This is not an easy job sometimes. We work well together and i think that after being together so long that we basically not only finish each others sentince's but we know the others movements and feelings as if they were our own. Wow what a great thing to be in love for so long .And still be giddy!!

As far as where we are in our Journey through childhood cancer is we are still cancer free. Mike is growing like a weed and as i said doing great . We have scans again in April and i don't think i can wait that long . I think its total torture .

Again I struggle with the reality of this horrible beast that lurkes in our childrens bodies . Two new angels that we know of from these caring bridge sites as well as another from the rhabdomyosarcoma site have left our world .how overcoming this can be on a daily basis. To read our friends fights to see the children lost all of these things are not normal in life and I know i did not sign up for all of this when I gave birth .
Our friends the Finestones are going ahead with a law suit a battle against the local nuclear power plant. The local children are testing positive for stronium 90 a certain type of radiation directly linked to the power plant. We all met with the attorney last week she said this law suit could take up to 12 years to settle the case.12 years do you know how long that is ? A lifetime.

I hope that you all read and follow the lives of our friends children and see the quality of life and love that is shared in these pages . Read about Cam and his mom her enterys are always so positive. Zachs dad Scott and his way of adding some much needed humor to our lives. Roberts mom Kathy for her powerful prayers and words of wisdome, an extreamly powerful writer .Seths parents Scott and Ruthie who also try to make some since out of what has happened to there lives, i think this list of friends and children could go on forever. I wish there was a cure and magic potion to keep our kids healthy and with us. I am not sure what one person could do to help bring awareness to our children but i do know that together we can bind and take even baby steps towards a cure and a common cause!

Thank you to all who come and sign mikes guest book .. The quilting angels ..he loves to see your posts and reads everyone of them. Thank you for all your support and prayers .

Love and peace to you all
Audra

Tueday, February 4, 2003 2:59 PM CST

Hello again,

I first would like to thank Ruthie for her kind words and her helping me see my blessings.It's hard to believe that I have such a hard time letting go.
Ty-Michael is doing great he is as wild and funky as always he has the best personality I've ever seen and he sees no boundrys when it comes to love. He loves everyone, he is so good with little kids and of course his friends from the hospital !
A lot of people don't understand Ty and see him as a wild child who misbehaves ..I agree he is wild, and that he isn't perfect in the behavior end ..but I believe that his calling in life is to make others laugh even when he is in trouble we have a hard time with disapline because his excuse for the negative behavior is usually so good or silly that we have to laugh at him. I have never met someone so full of life and knowledge.
Ty seems to know a lot about heaven .This is something i really love about him . He has pure faith in god ,heaven , and that the best healing is to be held in the arms of Jesus. I am sure some of you have read this before but Ty doesn't react in a negative manner when another child leaves this world.. He always says i am so happy for_________ but his poor mommy. He understands that the ones left here are the ones who cry. He understands that those who are brought to heaven early are there to make everyone happy a quote from him" god needs children in heaven so everyone can play ..what fun would it be if there were no kids running around?"..
I find it hard to believe that Ty-Michael has been cancer free over two years now. Yesterday we had the (family b-day party ) at grandmas house. Witch also included dinner and saying grace, my mom lead the prayer she of course had me in tears.. But she said how mighty our lord must be to take this child and heal him, she thanked him for this 9th birthday and said how six was to be his last..thank you god for another day another birthday!

Sunday, February 2, 2003 1:42 PM CST

Happy Birthday Ty-Michael # 9

Hello everyone,

Hi just wanted everyone to know that today Ty-Michael is 9 years old .!!! Can you believe that ! He is doing great and currently outside skate boarding on his "awesome" new skate board ! He is so happy he had ice cream cake for breakfast !! Ty loves ice cream so that was a great way to start his day! ..then dad got out his presents and he was insane as usual haha He really believed that we didn't go shopping and that he would have no birthday I am not exactly sure why he was thinking that ..but he was very happy when he woke up to birthday presents and cake.. !
********************************************************
Ok now for the Parent vent session...

I can not tell you how emotional today is for Tim and I. We actually I have had a rough day today. I have enjoyed the ice cream cake and the excitement of the presents and his excitement about being nine finally! His huge smile and big hugs and kisses and that he is here with us today, playing, being strong, intelligent and as usual the funniest person I have ever met!
However I am constantly aware of where we have been and where we could be again! All of our friends are fighting in one way or another still in the trenches still looking forward and still scared to death! I feel very guilty for being afraid while Ty continues to do so well .to grow so fast and always look and act normal! (Ty_Michael Normal) . I look at this boy and see him growing and as he grows I fear so is the Rhabdomyosarcoma ,this unseen monster who lurks in the corner of our minds always grabbing our attention when it should be forever gone. I have gone over and over in my mind how we spent his 6th birthday! Everyone was there ,everyone had the same uncertain fear in there eyes is this the last birthday our child will have? He has been a warrior and beaten this beast for two years and four months (almost).Why does this fear linger forever .How can anyone think that a parent ..any parent can make the haunting decisions about there child's life and then live with the effects and pounding questions rolling around in our own minds..was this decision correct was that one wrong..what can we do deferent etc. etc.
I see so much sorrow and suffering in this world today. The tragedy that is splattered all over the news 7 Astronauts killed a shuttle that cost several millions of dollars lost ! I pray for peace for there family's and friends as well as the USA for the loss of Challenger and now Columbia!

BUT....

. Well I would like to know why the real heros in this world and the real people who are suffering this tragedy called Child hood Cancer don't get the same media attention. If there was at least one commercial a day or a Billboard showing OUR heros maybe there would be a cure . More money for research ,more doctors in our area to treat our children maybe we would even have the children's hospital we were all promised SEVERAL years ago!! I am not trying to take away from the national tragedy .I guess that when I think of the beautiful children we have seen loose this fight I just feel that they are HEROS everyday there parents are suffering the loss forever they are the ones who fight everyday, people who walk dark hallways and pray for an extra day with there little child. Lives that have been altered to the point that the words like "My 5 year old has CANCER" become part of the daily vocabulary otherwise known as NORMAL!!! I read of great faith and prayer and peace that the cancer is gone with the life of the child who now plays in heaven.
I think the parents who can look this in the face and continue to smile laugh and find beauty in the world are HEROS as well.

. I personally don't think I will ever understand how and why and accept the million other questions~ !

OK well I will get off my Soap Box now .. I think a little venting once in awhile is healthy ...

We are grateful for today !

Thank you for all of you who post to Ty-Michael he loves to read the posts!

Love
Audra

Monday, January 27, 2003 at 08:49 AM (CST)

"BOGGY CREEK GANG CAMP"

WE HAVE JUST RETURNED FROM CAMP.(WELL LAST NIGHT) WHAT AN AWESOME TIME WE HAD.FOR THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY'S WE HAVE MET HAVE TOUCHED OUR HEARTS MORE THAN I CAN EVER EXPLAINE.

I REALISED ALL WEEKEND WHAT THIS WEEKEND RETREAT IS REALLY ABOUT. EVERYONE THERE KNOWS OUR WORST FEARS AND OUR GREATEST LOVE.WE ALL WALK THE SAME PATH SOME OF COURSE LEAD US IN DIFFERNT DIRECTIONS.HOWEVER ALL THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN THE WORLD COULD NEVER KNOW EXACTLY "HOW WE FEEL" WITHOUT WALKING THIS PATH!

THE CHILDREN THAT WE MET THIS WEEKEND TOUCHED OUR HEARTS TO ITS CORE. AS I SAT WITH ONE OF OUR WONDERFUL FAMILY PAL'S AND TALKED OF THE LAUGHTER AND ENERGY THAT WAS FILLING THE ROOM,HE TOLD ME THAT ON HIS WAY TO BOGGY THIS WEEKEND HE WAS AFRAID OF WHAT A CHILD WITH CANCER WOULD BE LIKE.AS MOST PEOPLE UNLESS YOUR IN OUR CLUB YOU REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT. WELL HE SHARED WITH ME THAT LOOKING AT EVERYONE IN THE ROOM HE COULD NOT TELL WICH CHILD WAS AND/OR IS SICK..HE SAID EVERYCHILD WAS LAUGHING FULL OF LIFE AND ENERGY AND MOSTLY STRENGTH AND UNDERSTANDING BEYOND THERE YEARS.YES THERE WERE CHILDREN WITH NO HAIR AND MANY WITH ALOT OF BATTLE SCARS . BUT AGAIN THERE LAUGHTER FILLED THE ROOM. I KNOW ALL OF THE FAMILY PALS ARE CHANGED IN THE MOST WONDERFUL WAY'S AFTER THEY GET TO KNOW THE STRONG SPIRT OF OUR CHILDREN AND SEE THAT YES CANCER SUCKS REALLY BAD BUT WE ARE STILL A FAMILY AND OUR CHILDREN STILL ARE CHILDREN! WHO KNOW HOW TO FIGHT AND HOW TO LIVE!!

OUR TRIP TO BOGGY WAS AN ADVENTURE LIKE NONE OTHER!
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ICE IN FLORIDA??? WELL OUR CHILDREN PLAYED WITH ICE AND LOTS OF IT. OUR KIDDOS HAVE NEVER SEEN ICE OR FELT FROZEN GRASS CRUNCH UNDER THERE FEET. THEY WERE ALL EXCITED.

SO FRIDAY NIGHT WAS SOOOOOOO COLD! WE ALL HAD A GREAT DINNER ,PLAYED SOME GREAT GAMES AND REALLY JUST STARTED LEARNING OF EACHOTHER!SOME OF THE FAMILYS WE HAVE KNOWN FROM OTHER WEEKEND AND IT IS ALWAYS WONDERFUL TO SEE THEM AGAIN!
FRIDAY IS ALSO CAMPFIRE NIGHT,THIS IS A TIME TO FIND THE LOVE THATS SHARED AT BOGGY..WELL I FOR THOSE WHO KNOW TY-MICHAEL HE IS THE FUTURE DIRECTOR OF BOGGY CREEK!! AND HIS OUTGOING PERSONALITY HAS HIM AT THE CENTER OF ALL THE ACTION! LEADING THE SONGS,AND DEFINATLY MAKING FOLKS LAUGH,THIS I BELIVE IS HIS CALLING IN LIFE.
THERE IS A VERY OLD MAN WHO LIVES ACCROSS THE LAKE FROM BOGGY HE IS 102 YEARS OLD AND HIS NAME IS MR.SPIVEY,TY HAS LOVED THIS OLD MAN FROM THE DAY HE LAID HIS EYES ON HIM. MR.SPIVEY COMES TO CAMP AND SHARES HIS STORY AND LOVE OF BOGGY WITH ALL OF US HE LEADS US IN THE DIRECTION TO NOT ONLY LOVE BUT TO SEEK OUT THE LOVE THAT IS SHARED AND GIVEN SO FREELY,HE IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF BOGGY CREEK! HE VISITS ON FRIDAY AT CAMPFIRE AND ALWAYS ON SUNDAY BEFORE WE GO HOME.HIS VERY SPIRT BRING US ALL TO TEARS! WE LOVE SPIVEY!

SATURDAY IS ACTION PACKED WITH MORNING MANATEE WICH I LOVE OUR FAMILY PAL NATE AND KIM COME AND WISK OUR CHILDREN OFF TO PLAY ARCHERY GO FISHING START THERE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND WOODWORKING. HE HE I GOT TO SLEEP IN ,DID I SAY IT WAS COLD! SO BREAKFAST IS AT 8:30 AND THEN LET THE GAMES BEGIN. WE DANCE AND SING .MY DAUGHTER SAID IN HER MOST EMBARRASED TEENAGER VOICE "MOM STOP YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A CHILD" WHICH I PROUDLY RESPONDED " THATS WHY I AM HERE!" EVERY MINUETE AT BOGGY IS HEALING TO OUR HEARTS THAT HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS TERROR CHILDHOOD CANCER! OUR FAMILYS HAVE ALOT OF FUN ALL DAY LONG AND BOY WE FIND OUT WHO IS CREATIVE!

THIS IS FOR SCOTT!!! SATURDAY NIGHT IS THE "CLASH DANCE" EVERY YEAR THE THEME IS DIFFERENT.. "CLASH" ... WELL AS MOST OF YOU KNOW OUR MR.FINESTONE NEEDS A STRAIGHT JACKET MOST DAYS..WELL HE OUT DID HIMSELF WITH HIS CLASH OUTFIT AND I MUST SAY OF EVERYONE SCOTT DANCED THE MOST!! YES THE MOST, AND HE LAUGHED AND ACTED LIKE A CHILD ALL WEEKEND !! HE MAY SAY THAT PHOTOS CAN BE ALTERED BUT I HAVE 106 PICTURES TO PROVE HOW MUCH FUN WE ALL HAD...MANY OF SCOTT AND OF COURSE ALL OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!

LET THE BETTING BEGIN LOL WHO WANTS TO SEE????

OH DID I SAY THANK GOODNESS THERE WAS NO VIDEO OF ME!!

SUNDAY IS BEAUTIFUL AND BITTER SWEET,OUR MORNINGS ARE THE SAME BUT BEFORE WE GO THERE IS A TALENT SHOW AND OF COURSE ALL THE KISSES AND HUGS GOODBYE :( ! TY-MICHAEL IS THE FUNNIEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. I THINK HE WAS IN FIVE COMEDY ACTS ON STAGE..HE CERTAINLY ISNT AFRAID TO JOIN IN THE FUN AND SHAREING THE LAUGHTER!! ZACHARY WAS AMAZEING..DO YOU KNOW HE IS THE HULA HOOP CHAMP!! WELL HE IS AND BOY HIS SHOW WAS GREAT !! HE HULA HOOPED AND PLAYED CATCH WITH A BASKETBALL WITH HIS FAMILY PAL.. WOW.. HE ALSO LET ME TAKE SOME GREAT PICTURES OF HIM THOSE I WILL SHARE FOR FREE!! HAHAHA WE SANG LOTS MORE SONGS ALL OUR CHILDREN PLAYED SOME PART IN THE SHOW AND THEN OUR MR.SPIVEY CAME BACK TO SAY..FAREWELL ,HE NEVER SAYS GOODBYE..ITS TILL WE SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN! THIS IS THE MOST EMOTIONAL TIME AS WE HAVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE WHERE THERE IS SO MUCH LAUGHTER AND LIFE. AND RETURN TO THE REALITY OF WHAT ALL THE FAMILYS AND CHILDREN ENDURE EVERYDAY. FOR THE WEEKEND WE ALL LAUGHED,SANG,CRIED,SHARED OUR HEARTS WITH STRANGERS AND OUR BODY (SORE AS CAN BE FROM DANCING) IS RE-ENERGISED AND READY TO TAKE LIFE AND ALL ITS TRIALS WITH A CLEAN HEART AND MIND! I HOPE ALL THE FAMILYS WHO MUST FIGHT FOR THERE CHILD IN ANY MANNER ARE ABLE TO EXPERIANCE THE LOVE AT BOGGY CREEK!

THANK YOU TO ALL OUR FAMILYS OUR FAMILY PALS DORCUS WE LOVE YOU ED AND MIKE D CAMP WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU. AND THANK YOU TO ALL THE VOULENTEERS WHO WITHOUT THERE HELP THERE COULD BE NO CAMP!!

WE LOVE YOU ALL

AUDRA,TIM,ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL SCHMIDT..(FUTURE DORCUS IN TRAINING)

OH P.S WHOOOO HOOOO GO BUCS!!!! SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!!

Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 07:02 PM (CST)

Hello,

THANK YOU ALL FOR STOPING BY . I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE QUILTING ANGELS FOR THERE GREAT POSTS AND SHAREING YOUR TIME WITH TY-MICHAEL AND OUR FAMILY. HE LOVES TO READ THE POSTS!...

.FOR JOE TY-SAYS "GO BUCS CANCER SUCKS!!" HE IS A DIE-HARD BUCS FAN AND THINKS ITS TOTALLY COOL THAT THE RAIDERS (PIRATES) AND THE BUCS (ALSO PIRATES) ARE PLAYING TOGETHER HE IS SINGING "YO-HO YO-HO IT'S A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME" HAHA GOTTA LOVE HIM!!

WE HAVE HAD SOME MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES WITH ALEX TY-MICHAELS 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER. SEEMS HE IS HAVING SOME CARDIAC PROBLEMS AND ALL THE DOCTORS SAY IS "HE IS GROWING" .I OF COURSE DON'T BELIVE THAT ANSWER AND WITH THE FACT THAT HE IS HAVING CHEST PAIN DAILY ,SOMEDAYS WORSE THAN OTHERS,WILL BE SEEING DR.GOWDA FOR BLOODWORK AND A CARDIOLIGIST TO PUT HIM ON A HEART MONITOR TO SEE IF WE CAN FIND AN ANSWER.ALEX IS VERY ATHLETHIC,BUILT ,STRONG AND A NATURAL AT EVERY SPORT. HE JUST FINISHED FOOTBALL A FEW WEEKS AGO AND STARTED BASKETBALL RIGHT AFTER. THIS CHEST PAIN IS SOMETHING HE HAS NEVER HAD BEFORE! PLEASE PRAY THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG AND THAT DR.GOWDA CAN ANSWER SOME OF OUR QUESTIONS REGUARDING HIS BLOOD TESTS...IF ANYONE HAS HEARD OF A 10 YEAR OLD HAVING SINUSE CARDIAC ARITHMIA PLEASE LET ME KNOW AS WERE NOT FINDING ANYTHING POSITIVE.AND CALL ME CRAZY BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN A ATHLETIC CHILD OF 10 ALL OF A SUDDEN HAVE CARDIAC ARITHMIA AND IT BE CAUSED BY GROWING??

ALL ELSE IS WELL IN OUR LIFE TODAY! WE ARE WAITING TO HEAR SOME POSITIVE NEWS FROM Z-MAN AND CAM . WE ARE ALL PRAYING FOR CLEAR SCANS POSITIVE FEEDBACK FROM DR.KUSHNER.I KNOW HE IS THE BEST DOCTOR FOR BOTH OF THEM!

FRIDAY AFTERNOON WE ARE OFF TO BOGGY CREEK FOR A WEEKEND OF LAUGHTER AND FUN.SEEMS ITS ALWAYS PLAY TIME AT BOGGY. WE WILL BE DOING PLENTY OF ARCHERY AND WOODWORKING IN THE WOODSHOP..IM SURE ZACH AND SCOTT WILL BE DOING LOTS OF FISHING AND I THINK MOMMA HERE WILL BE HANGING OUT BY THE FIREPLACE WITH A GOOD BOOK .

ONE OF THE MOST INPORTANT THINGS ABOUT BOGGY ..AN HOUR OR SO OF BREAKOUT MOMS WITH MOMS AND DADS WITH DADS. WE ARE GIVING THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE OUR FEELINGS OF JOY AND FEAR.SHARE OUR WAYS TO COPE AND BE WITH A GROUP OF WOMEN WHO ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT WE ARE FEELING EACH DAY...THE DADS DO THE SAME I THINK THIS IS SO IMPORTANT, THERE IS A WALL THAT IS REMOVED WHEN THESE DADS WHO ALWAYS HAVE TO "BE STRONG" ARE ABLE TO SHARE WITH MEN WHO ARE WALKING IN THE SAME WORK BOOTS! THIS OF COURSE IS POSITIVE FOR ALL OF THE FAMILYS. WE ALSO LEAVE WITH PEACE AND LOVE AND DEFINATLY SOME LIFE LONG FRIENDS. THANK YOU TO BOGGY FOR A WONDERFUL DISTRACTION EVEN FOR A WEEKEND!

WELL I GUESS THATS ALL FOR ME TONIGHT HOPE TO SEE AND/OR TALK TO YOU SOON .

LOVE AUDRA,TIM ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL SCHMIDT

Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 11:18 AM (CST)

Hello to all our Friends and Family,

Thank you for stoping by to check in on Ty-Michael and the family.We definatley appreciate it!

As i read so many other pages and see the struggle and hardship so many familys are suffering and fighting this battle.I sometimes can not believe that we were ever in the trenches fighting for every breath, other days we feel so consumed in it that we dont know what to feel.

Ty-Michael is CANCER FREE !! He so far has beat the odds. I dont know how or why but he certainly tricked our doctors who said he would live only six months ,that was over three years ago! We count our blessings everyday! We gain more courage to continue with life in the most normal way possible and try not to let all the when's and what if's eat us appart(not an easy task)!

We feel the pain that all of our friends continue to go through. We hope to do anything we can to help them with there battle and at least show them that there is a "Light at the end of the tunnel" and sometimes these doctors who's hands we place our childs life can be wrong.

I think about Ty and how he handled treatment... he was St.Marys Terorist!! I mean that ! You ask any nurse on o-2-peds and they will tell you just how wild ,hysterically funny and bad this little man was . He never stopted laughing or running down the hallway with squirt guns! Our Sweet Karen started that fun lol . Ty actually recieved 8 stiches while on O-2-Peds he was the only child on the floor it was super bowl sunday and he was DANCING in the SHOWER singing his heart out!! lol I think it hurt me way more than him.! Somehow we all made it through the year at St.Marys,our family is so much stronger my relationship with Tim could never be better. This nightmare brought our family closer together! strange but true!

Its been two years now, I belive its time to start living again! Live Love and Worship God for all of our gifts including all of you!!

We love you all

audra

Sunday, December 29, 2002 at 12:00 AM (CST)

Hello,
I hope all is well with all of our friends and family!

Ty-michael is doing great,he is growing and growing I cant keep up with him! He is developing in such a fantasic manner ,meaning mostly his personality and since of humor! I have yet to meet a more careing ,giving person im my entire life.

Today was a big family party at the In-Laws.. this was loads of fun! We get to see the entire family together every year on the saturday between christmas and new years eve! There were tons of aunts,uncles and cousins so many i swear the kiss goodbye line took almost an hour lol !! There were little babys and then the children that are growing so fast! my blood pressure was fine till i was looking at the teenagers and young adults. Teenagers are too scary !!

So the kids all had fun and we all enjoyed the food!! I cant wait till next year!

HAPPY NEWYEAR!!"2003"!!

Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 10:01 AM (CST)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!

Hello,

I can not belive that it is almost christmas.. where did the year go? I am finally starting to get excited! We put up the christmas tree and the boys do the decorating.This year it was Alex turn to put the angel on top! He loved that! Tim and I started some shopping .. HE LOVES to shop and I dont like to shop at all!! He is a great shopper and has wonderful taste in clothes and the boys as usual will be dressed so sharp ,We tend to buy few toys and more clothing for them as everyone else has bought so many toys for them.
!! They both are so cute!!

Ok this is what we do..The Santa Thing... Both boys wrap an empty box on christmas eve. They use very little tape! Then we go to my sisters house where we have our main dinner christmas eve afternoon the whole family! ...then after we get our totally (hopefully) exhausted children off to bed Tim and i will un wrap the boxes and in them put the special present they requested from Santa!! Then RE-wrap~!so on christmas morning we have stockings and They both look at eachother and wonder how santa put the present in without messing up the wrapper.. Alex is now 10 almost 11 and Mike is almost 9 so i dont think we will get away with that much longer!!
Ty-Michael just recently busted us about the Tooth Fairy~!! He caught dad putting the money under the pillow ...!


At this point in Ty-Michaels life he has been 2 years 3 months and 5 days off TX. ,but who's counting!

We are so blessed to have this little monster running around spreading his holiday cheer .He is healthy and growing so very fast. He is amazeing me everyday with his knowledge and love ,his total peronality is awesome. Yes he is a Wild Man!! However that is half the reason he is doing so well~!
He makes everyone he meets smile,but he drives his momma crazy!!!

I can not imagine how so many of our friends are feeling these days ...so many with children returned to Heaven and so many still sick with all the unknown's of tommrow.We pray for all of the children and there familys to find Peace and Love this holiday season!

We love you all

Audra ,Tim Alex and Ty-micael Schmidt!!

Monday, December 16, 2002 at 03:45 PM (CST)

HELLO FRIENDS,

I CAN NOT IMAGINE WHERE THIS LAST YEAR HAS GONE!
WITH THE HOLIDAYS APPROACHING THERE SEEM TO BE MANY EMOTIONS THAT WE DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND. OUR LITTLE FAMILY WAS DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD YESTERDAY AND WE HEARD "I BIELIVE THERE ARE ANGELS AMONG US" ,TIM AND I WERE BOTH IN TEARS AND THEN THOSE TEARS TURNED TO LAUGHTER AS OUR BOYS WERE FIGHTING AS BROTHERS DO! WE ARE SO THANKFULL THAT WE HAVE THIS DAY WITH THEM!

THIS PAST WEEK HAS BEEN ACTION PACKED WITH SEVERAL CHRISTMAS PARTYS TO ATTEND. AT THE A.C.S PARTY SOMBODYS LITTLE FINGERS SAT US NEXT TO THE ROMMEL FAMILY. THEY ARE A GREAT STRONG FAMILY WHO ARE TEACHING ME MANY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF AND DONT EVEN KNOW IT! IF HOWEVER JOE AND DELORIS DO READ THIS THANK YOU FOR BEING SO OPEN TO OUR FAMILY AND LEADING US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

WE WILL BE ATTENDING THE SERVICE ON SATURDAY THE 21ST ,WHAT A BEAUTIFUL EVENING TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF JESUS CHRISTFELLOWSHIP IS THE MOST POWERFUL CHURCH I HAVE EVER ATTENDED,SO I AM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS SATURDAY!!

I THINK THAT I NEED TO REFLECT ON THE PAST TWO YEARS,SEEMS I HAVE ALOT OF EXTRA NEGATIVE ENERGY TO THROW AWAY.AND TRY AND FIND THE BEAUTY IN MY LIFE...
THINGS TO THROW AWAY:
1) RESENTMENTS TOWARDS PEOPLE WHO DONT OR CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT LIVING WITH CANCER IS LIKE.
2) ANGER THAT THIS HAPPENED TO US AND SO MANY BEFORE AND THE MANY TO FOLLOW!
3) FINDING OUT WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE, WHEN THEY WALK AWAY FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON
4) THE PAIN OF LOOSING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN I HAVE EVER MET, MY QUINTEN GODFREY ,AUBREY HALL,KATIE RICHMOND,ROBERT CHARLTON AND THE LIST CONTINUES TO GROW AND GROW.
5) THE FACT THAT I QUESTION MY FAITH WHEN I SEE ANOTHER CHILD PASS!
6) NOT LIVING MY LIFE THE BEST WAY ..EACH DAY!
7) HAVING A WOMAN COME TO ME AND HUG ME AND SAY HOW MUCH SHE MISSED ME,I DIDNT HAVE THE HEART TO SAY I'M SORRY I DONT REMEMBER YOU!
I GUESS I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND ONLY BEGIN TO EXPRESS THE NEGATIVES.

SO WE ALL KNOW THAT WITH THE NEW YEAR COMES RENEWED FAITH A CLEAN SLATE SO TO SPEAK. SO THESE ARE THE THINGS I WILL BE THANKFULL FOR!
1) TY-MICHAEL CARL SCHMIDT BEING HEALTHY
2) ANOTHER DAY WITH OUR FAMILY
3) ALL THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY WE HAVE NOW! '
4) THE SUNRISE
5) THE SUNSET
6) THE NIGHTS SITTING OUTSIDE IN FRONT OF OUR LITTLE CHIMANEA ROASTING MARSHMELLOWS
7) TUCKING MY CHILDREN INTO BED
8) MY VERY LOVING AND DEVOTED HUSBAND
9) THESE CARINGBRIDGE SITES THAT ALLOW US TO VENT OUR FRUSTRATIONS AND SHARE IN EACH JOYFULL MOMENT
10) ANOTHER DAY TO BE WITH ALL OF OUR CHILDREN
OK SO WE KNOW THIS LIST COULD GO ON FOREVER AS WELL ...

I AM TRYING VERY HARD TO GET INTO THE HOLIDAY SPIRT,I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE MY CHILD HERE WITH ME.I JUST FEEL THAT THIS CANCER HAS TAKEN SO MUCH FROM EVERYONE. KNOWING SO MANY PARENTS WHO WILL SPEND CHRISTMAS MORNING AT THERE CHILDS GRAVESIDE . OR IN A HOSPITAL GETTING CHEMO RADIATION OR FEVERS . WE ARE TRULY BLESSED!

I STILL FEEL LIKE BAH HUM BUG LOL ... REALLY I THINK THAT ITS SO COMMERCIAL CHRISTMAS IS NOT LIKE IT WAS WHEN I WAS A CHILD.. (THANK GOD NO SNOW)!! I REMEMBER OUR ENTIRE FAMILYS BEING TOGETHER COUSINS AUNTS UNCLES EVERYONE THAT YOU CAN IMAGINE. EVERYONE BEING SO HAPPY LIFE WAS SO EASY AS A CHILD! AAHHH TO BE A CHILD AGAIN.. SO HERE IT IS THE 16TH OF DECEMBER MY CHRISTMAS TREE IS UP BUT NOT DECORATED, AND I HAVENT BOUGHT A SINGLE PRESESNT OR SENT OUR ANY CARDS. I GUESS I BETTER GET MOTIVATED TO DO ALL OF THIS FOR MY CHILDREN...

HOWEVER I HAVE A LITTLE STORY ABOUT TY-MICHAEL ..AS SOME OR ALL OF YOU KNOW TY IS EXTREAMLY GIVING, HE SAID HE DOESNT CARE ABOUT THE TREE ,BUT THE LIGHTS ARE PRETTY, HE SAID ALL HE WANTS IS THE ANGEL TO SIT ON TOP! HE WANTS TO GIVE EVERY TOY HE HAS RECIEVED TO A CHILD WHO DOESNT HAVE TOYS,HE HAS ASKED US TO BUY A JACKET FOR A LITTLE BOY IN HIS CLASS WHO DOESNT HAVE ONE AND HIS PARENTS DONT HAVE ANY MONEY..HE SAID THAT HE IS ANGRY EVERYONE FORGETS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT . HE SAID WHERE ARE THE REAL KINGS WHO CAME TO WORSHIP JESUS,WHY ISNT JESUS THE MAIN IDEA FOR THIS HOLIDAY AND WHY SHOULD HE RECIEVE PRESENTS ON JESUS BIRTHDAY?? I AM IN AWE OF MY CHILD,HE HAS SO MUCH STRENGTH AND KNOWLEDGE,I WISH TO BE LIKE MIKE WHEN I GROW UP!
I HOPE EVERYONE FINDS THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR !

THANK YOU FOR VISITING OUR CHILDS PAGE, AND ALLOWING ME TO VENT THE FEELINGS WE HIDE .. LET AN EIGHT YEAR OLD TEACH YOU ABOUT HEAVEN AND THE REAL REASON FOR CHRISTMAS!

Thursday, December 05, 2002 at 10:22 AM (CST)

Hello Family and Friend's,

The crazy Scott Finestone has inspired us parents to become cancer/christmas song writer's..

As wacked as this may be it seems to put a little "humor" and "laughter" into a situation that seems so hopeless most day's!

Cancer Sucks Club Member since 11-11-99
Still think CANCER SUCKS 12-02


Here is "The Twelve Days of Cancer"

On the 1st day of cancer
our doctor gave to me:
a trip to O-2-Peds!

On the 2nd day of cancer
our nurse's gave to me:
Two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Peds!

On the 3rd day of cancer
our nurse's showed to me:
the Best R.N's
two rubber gloves
and a trip to o-2-ped's!

On the 4th day of cancer
these hall's have showed to me:
four falling world's!
the best R.N's
two rubber gloves
and a trip to O-2-Peds

On the 5th day of cancer
the rad techs showed to me:
five MRI'S
four falling world's
the best R.N'S
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Peds!

On the 6th day of cancer
Our church came to me with:
six parents praying!
five MRI'S
four falling world's
the best R.N'S
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Peds!

On the 7th day of cancer
our nurses explained to me:
seven types of chemo!
six parents praying
five MRI's
four falling world's
The best R.N's
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Ped's!

On the 8th day of cancer
the family's showed to me:
Eight ways of copeing !
seven types of chemo
six familys praying
five MRI'S
four falling worlds
the best R.N's
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Peds!

On the 9th day of cancer
our chld showed to me
nine angel's dancing !
eight ways of copeing
seven types of chemo
six parents praying
five MRI's
four falling world's
the best R.N'S
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Ped's !

On the 10th day of cancer
this life has shown to me
ten family's weeping!
nine angels dancing
eight ways of copeing
seven types of chemo
six parents praying
five MRI's
four falling world's
the best R.N'S
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Ped's !

On the 11th day of cancer
we were taught to give:
eleven shots of neupogen!
ten family's weeping
nine angels dancing
eight ways of copeing
six parents praying
five MRI'S
four falling worlds
the best R.N'S
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Ped's!

On the 12th day of cancer
our doctor's gave to me:
twelve months of fighting!
eleven shots of neupogen
ten family's weeping
nine angel's dancing
eight ways of copeing
seven types of chemo
six parents praying
five MRI'S
four falling worlds
the best R.N'S
two rubber gloves
and
a trip to O-2-Ped's!

Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 12:10 AM (CST)

EVER FIND YOURSELF STAREING AT THIS PAGE AND WONDERING WHAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY SAY THAT
A) WOULDNT DEPRESS EVERYONE OR
B) SOUND LIKE YOUVE WORKED IN THE MEDICAL FIELD YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

I FEEL THAT WAY TODAY AND HAVE FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. AS A PARENT I REFLECT BACK ON THE LAST THREE YEARS AND I CANT BELIVE THAT THIS HAS REALLY BEEN OUR LIFE, THE CHANGES ARE INCREDABLE. THE DAY BEFORE TY WAS DX DAD (TIM) SAID " OH LIFE JUST COULDNT GET WORSE" WELL THE NEXT DAY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER. AND YES IT WAS WORSE! I THANK GOD FOR TY-MICHAEL AND HIS NATURAL FAITH. HE HAS PURE FAITH AND LOVES JUST TALKIING ABOUT HEAVEN AND HOW HAPPY AND HEALTHY ALL HIS FRIENDS ARE .. I WISH WE COULD UNDERSTAND!
WHEN TY WAS FIRST DX HE WAS VERY SICK HE WAS IN P.I.C.U ..YES ALL OUR FAVORITE PLACE.. ANYWAY .. WHEN HE FINALLY WOKE UP APROXIMATLY 2 WEEKS LATER HE KNEW EVERYTHING.. HE KNOWS GOD,SAYS HE HAS SEEN HEAVEN,HE SAYS THE TEARS WE SHED FOR HIM HOLD HIM BACK FROM SHAREING HIS "TESTAMONY" AND THAT WE SHOULD NOT SHED TEARS ..BECUSE ITS SO WONDERFUL THAT HIS FRIEND IS NO LONGER SICK ETC.
..I FIRMLY BELIVE THAT WHILE HE WAS SO INTENSLEY SICK THAT HE WAS TAKEN TO HEAVEN AND SHOWED HOW BEAUTIFUL AND SAFE IT IS IN THE ARMS OF JESUS!
WE HAVE SO MANY BLESSINGS IN OUR LIFE ! OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY OUR NEW FAMILY ( ALL THE FAMILYS WHO LIVE WITH CANCER EACH DAY).WE HAVE OUR HEALTH AND HOPE THAT WE CAN FIND THE SWEETEST BLESSINGS IN EACH DAY.
I ATTENED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HOME GOING CEREMONY ON THURSDAY FOR ROBERT MITCHEL CHARLTON 11 YR OLD BOY WHO ALSO KNEW SO MUCH ABOUT GOD AND HAD THE STRENGTH TO MOVE MOUNTAINS!HIS PARENTS TAUGHT HIM VERY WELL ,THE WAYS OF THE LORD AND IT SEEMS IN HIS JOURNEY THROUGH CANCER THAT HIS TESTAMONY IS BEING SHARED ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. THE AFTERNOON OF HIS PASSING 700 OF THERE CHURCH MEMBERS WERE BAPTISED! THATS AN AWESOME AMMOUT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE OPENING THERE HEARTS TO GOD AND ACCEPTING HIM IN TO THERE LIVES. ROBERT WAS A TRUE FISHER OF MEN AND LED MANY INTO THE ARMS OF GOD! IT WAS WONDERFUL KNOWING HIM. AND HE WILL BE MISSED SOOOO VERY MUCH!

SO I SIT HERE AND STILL I AM NOT SURE WHAT I AM FEELING AND NEED TO EXPRESS .. I GUESS ITS FEAR OF TOMMROW.. FEAR OF WHERE WE HAVE BEEN.. AND FEAR OF SOME TERRIBLE BEAST THAT TRYS TO GROW IN MY CHILD. ALL OF OUR CHILDREN HAVE A CERTAIN SPECIAL QUALITY ABOUT THEM ... I COULD MAKE A LONG LIST BUT EACH OF THESE KIDS ARE DEFINATLY SPECIAL TO US! SO THE FACT THATI WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT TOMMROW CAUSES ME TO LOOSE HOURS AND SOMETIMES DAYS WITH MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD AND ENTIRE FAMILY... I DONT THINK THERE IS ANYTHING THAT WILL EVER ALLOW ME TO COMPLEATLY LET GO .. YES MOTHER,WILLIE,DANNY AND CHRIS I KNOW I HAVE TO LET GO AND LET THIS CHILD BE A CHILD EVERYDAY THAT HE IS HEALTHY!

NOW I KNOW YOU ALL DONT KNOW TY-MICHAEL PERSONALLY ... FOR THOSE WHO DO KNOW HE IS A REAL PISTOL! I THINK HE KNOWS HE IS CAUSEING ALOT OF GREY HAIRS TO GROW AND HAVING FUN WATCHING ... ON THIS DAY FRIDAY THE 22ND TY HAS NOW FALLEN OFF A ROOF ..WHERE HE KNOWS HE ISNT SUPOSED TO BE AND HE FELL OFF THE SLIDE AS HIM AND FOUR FRIENDS WENT DOWN "BUDDY SYSTEM" THATS GOING DOWN ON EACHOTHERS SHOLDERS!! IM NOT SURE WHERE HE GOT THAT ONE .BUT I AM AFRAID THAT WE SHOULD BUY STOCK IN X- RAY FILMS ... HE IS FINE BRUISED EVERYWHERE SORE EVERYWHERE AND SOME SCRAPES ..BUT HE IS A BOY RIGHT .. THATS WHAT I AM TOLD OVER AND OVER ... ACCORDING TO ME (MOM) HE IS A FRAGILE INFANT AND WILL BE TILL HE IS 8O YEARS OLD!

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR COMMING TO TY'S SITE! HE IS DOING VERY WELL SO PLEASE USE ALL YOUR PRAYING STRENGTH FOR ZACH ,CAM AND ALL THE KIDS BUT MOSTLY FOR THE ENTIRE CHARLTON FAMILY .

AUDRA

I WISH I COULD PUT IN BETTER WORDS ALL THAT IM FEELING TONIGHT AT 2 AM AND I CANT SLEEP ... UUGGHHHH!

Saturday, November 23, 2002 at 12:10 AM (CST)

EVER FIND YOURSELF STAREING AT THIS PAGE AND WONDERING WHAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY SAY THAT
A) WOULDNT DEPRESS EVERYONE OR
B) SOUND LIKE YOUVE WORKED IN THE MEDICAL FIELD YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

I FEEL THAT WAY TODAY AND HAVE FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS. AS A PARENT I REFLECT BACK ON THE LAST THREE YEARS AND I CANT BELIVE THAT THIS HAS REALLY BEEN OUR LIFE, THE CHANGES ARE INCREDABLE. THE DAY BEFORE TY WAS DX DAD (TIM) SAID " OH LIFE JUST COULDNT GET WORSE" WELL THE NEXT DAY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER. AND YES IT WAS WORSE! I THANK GOD FOR TY-MICHAEL AND HIS NATURAL FAITH. HE HAS PURE FAITH AND LOVES JUST TALKIING ABOUT HEAVEN AND HOW HAPPY AND HEALTHY ALL HIS FRIENDS ARE .. I WISH WE COULD UNDERSTAND!
WHEN TY WAS FIRST DX HE WAS VERY SICK HE WAS IN P.I.C.U ..YES ALL OUR FAVORITE PLACE.. ANYWAY .. WHEN HE FINALLY WOKE UP APROXIMATLY 2 WEEKS LATER HE KNEW EVERYTHING.. HE KNOWS GOD,SAYS HE HAS SEEN HEAVEN,HE SAYS THE TEARS WE SHED FOR HIM HOLD HIM BACK FROM SHAREING HIS "TESTAMONY" AND THAT WE SHOULD NOT SHED TEARS ..BECUSE ITS SO WONDERFUL THAT HIS FRIEND IS NO LONGER SICK ETC.
..I FIRMLY BELIVE THAT WHILE HE WAS SO INTENSLEY SICK THAT HE WAS TAKEN TO HEAVEN AND SHOWED HOW BEAUTIFUL AND SAFE IT IS IN THE ARMS OF JESUS!
WE HAVE SO MANY BLESSINGS IN OUR LIFE ! OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY OUR NEW FAMILY ( ALL THE FAMILYS WHO LIVE WITH CANCER EACH DAY).WE HAVE OUR HEALTH AND HOPE THAT WE CAN FIND THE SWEETEST BLESSINGS IN EACH DAY.
I ATTENED THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HOME GOING CEREMONY ON THURSDAY FOR ROBERT MITCHEL CHARLTON 11 YR OLD BOY WHO ALSO KNEW SO MUCH ABOUT GOD AND HAD THE STRENGTH TO MOVE MOUNTAINS!HIS PARENTS TAUGHT HIM VERY WELL ,THE WAYS OF THE LORD AND IT SEEMS IN HIS JOURNEY THROUGH CANCER THAT HIS TESTAMONY IS BEING SHARED ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. THE AFTERNOON OF HIS PASSING 700 OF THERE CHURCH MEMBERS WERE BAPTISED! THATS AN AWESOME AMMOUT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE OPENING THERE HEARTS TO GOD AND ACCEPTING HIM IN TO THERE LIVES. ROBERT WAS A TRUE FISHER OF MEN AND LED MANY INTO THE ARMS OF GOD! IT WAS WONDERFUL KNOWING HIM. AND HE WILL BE MISSED SOOOO VERY MUCH!

SO I SIT HERE AND STILL I AM NOT SURE WHAT I AM FEELING AND NEED TO EXPRESS .. I GUESS ITS FEAR OF TOMMROW.. FEAR OF WHERE WE HAVE BEEN.. AND FEAR OF SOME TERRIBLE BEAST THAT TRYS TO GROW IN MY CHILD. ALL OF OUR CHILDREN HAVE A CERTAIN SPECIAL QUALITY ABOUT THEM ... I COULD MAKE A LONG LIST BUT EACH OF THESE KIDS ARE DEFINATLY SPECIAL TO US! SO THE FACT THATI WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT TOMMROW CAUSES ME TO LOOSE HOURS AND SOMETIMES DAYS WITH MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD AND ENTIRE FAMILY... I DONT THINK THERE IS ANYTHING THAT WILL EVER ALLOW ME TO COMPLEATLY LET GO .. YES MOTHER,WILLIE,DANNY AND CHRIS I KNOW I HAVE TO LET GO AND LET THIS CHILD BE A CHILD EVERYDAY THAT HE IS HEALTHY!

NOW I KNOW YOU ALL DONT KNOW TY-MICHAEL PERSONALLY ... FOR THOSE WHO DO KNOW HE IS A REAL PISTOL! I THINK HE KNOWS HE IS CAUSEING ALOT OF GREY HAIRS TO GROW AND HAVING FUN WATCHING ... ON THIS DAY FRIDAY THE 22ND TY HAS NOW FALLEN OFF A ROOF ..WHERE HE KNOWS HE ISNT SUPOSED TO BE AND HE FELL OFF THE SLIDE AS HIM AND FOUR FRIENDS WENT DOWN "BUDDY SYSTEM" THATS GOING DOWN ON EACHOTHERS SHOLDERS!! IM NOT SURE WHERE HE GOT THAT ONE .BUT I AM AFRAID THAT WE SHOULD BUY STOCK IN X- RAY FILMS ... HE IS FINE BRUISED EVERYWHERE SORE EVERYWHERE AND SOME SCRAPES ..BUT HE IS A BOY RIGHT .. THATS WHAT I AM TOLD OVER AND OVER ... ACCORDING TO ME (MOM) HE IS A FRAGILE INFANT AND WILL BE TILL HE IS 8O YEARS OLD!

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR COMMING TO TY'S SITE! HE IS DOING VERY WELL SO PLEASE USE ALL YOUR PRAYING STRENGTH FOR ZACH ,CAM AND ALL THE KIDS BUT MOSTLY FOR THE ENTIRE CHARLTON FAMILY .

AUDRA

I WISH I COULD PUT IN BETTER WORDS ALL THAT IM FEELING TONIGHT AT 2 AM AND I CANT SLEEP ... UUGGHHHH!

Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 10:13 AM (CST)

WELL I AM MORE THAN PLEASED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT TY-MICHAELS SCANS CAME BACK CLEAR!!!!~

NOT THAT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING ANY OTHER RESPONSE .LOL YEAH RIGHT!

ANYWAY TY-MICHAEL IS CURRENTLEY DOING WONDERFUL. HE RECIVED HIS MID-TERM REPORT CARD AND HAD ABOVE AVERAGE GRADES WITH A CHECK MARK STATEING HE TALKS ALOT..( IS ANYONE SURPRISED?)
ALL IN ALL I WOULD SAY SECOND GRADE IS WAY TOOO EASY FOR HIM AND GETTING HARDER ON US. AS WE DO HIS MATH SUPERSTARS WERE KINDA LOST AS TO THE ANSWERS OR HOW THEY EVEN CAME UP WITH THE QUESTION.. LOL HE IS DOING THE 5TH GRADE MATH AND READING. WICH IS PRETTY AWSOME FOR A KID WHO MISSED A YEAR OF SCHOOL! HOWEVER THANKS TO MISS MARY WATTS HIS TUTOR HE IS FAR ADVANCED OVER HIS CLASS!

TY-MICHAEL IS ALSO GROWING LIKE A WEED! I CAN NOT BELIVE THE AMMOUNT OF GROWTH.I THINK HE GROWS AN INCH A NIGHT AND HIS FEET WELL ...SHOES ARE GETTING EXPENSIVE AS WE HAVE INCREASED THREE SIZES IN TWO MONTHS,HIS PANTS ARE ALWAYS TOO SHORT ! .. I DONT SEE HIM SLOWING DOWN ANYTIME SOON EITHER.. FOR ALL OF THIS I AM SO GRATEFUL. WE WERE TOLD HE WOULD HAVE SO MANY NEGATIVE SIDE EFFECTS FROM THE CHEMO AND RADIATION! WE HAVE NOT SEEN MANY..EXCEPT THE SPOILED CHILD WHO RULES THE HOUSE SYNDROM..LOL .. BUT HE IS TY-MICHAEL SO I REALLY DONT THINK ITS CHEMO RELATED!!!

WE HAVE SEEN ALOT OF TOOTH DAMAGE DUE TO THE CHEMO AND HE HAS CONSTANT DENTAL APPOINTMENTS THANKFULLY ONLY TWO OF HIS PERMANANT TEETH SHOW ANY DAMAGE/DECAY WICH IS ACTUALLY GREAT COMPARED TO HIS POOR LITTLE BABY TEETH ! THE ONLY OTHER SIDE EFFECT THAT HE HAS IS WEAK BLADDER AT NIGHT. THIS MAY NEVER GO AWAY BUT WERE WORKING ON IT. ... I THINK OF THE LIST OF SIDE EFFECTS WE WERE TOLD TO EXPECT THE MAJOR ONES BEING NO GROWTH OR LESS GROWTH BETWEEN THE RIBS AND MID THIGH,GROWING UNEVEN ONE LEG LONGER THAN THEN THE OTHER OR HIP PLACEMENT BEING NON-SYMETRICAL, ALSO KIDNEY PROBLEMS INTESTINAL AND OR STOMACH PROBLEMS THANKFULLY HE HAS NONE OF THESE!! ACTUALLY DOCTOR BORLAND HIS URIOLIGIST STATED THAT IF HE DIDNT KNOW TY AND ACTUALLY ASSISTED IN HIS SURGERYS REMOVING HIS TUMOR PLACEING STINTS IN URITER AND TOTAL CARE OF KINDEY,BLADDER ETC. HE WOULD SAY THAT THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING WRONG WITH HIS KIDNEY FUNCTION! THIS IS AMAZEING IN ITSELF DUE TO THE FACT THE THE MONSTER TUMOR HAD EVERYTHING FROM THE PROSTATE TO THE RIBCAGE INSIDE THE TUMOR.. AND THE KIDNEY ITSELF WAS A "NON-VIABLE ORGAN" THE KIDNEY IS PERFECT!

SO NOW THAT I HAVE RAMBLED ON AND ON TY WILL NOT HAVE SCANS FOR SIX MONTHS YES 6 WHOLE MONTHS. THIS IS AWSOME AND SCARY! I WISH WE COULD DO SCANS EVERYDAY,JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE! HOWEVER HE IS AS NORMAL AND HEALTHY AS CAN BE LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN SO I WILL WATCH FOR ANY CHANGES IN BETWEEN SCANS.

NOVEMBER 11TH 2002 MARKED THREE YEARS SINCE TY-MICHAEL WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE FOUR RHABDOMYOSARCOMA AND OCTOBER 13TH WAS TWO YEARS OFF CHEMO AND RADIATION.WE WERE ALSO TOLD AT THIS POINT HE WOULD MAYBE LIVE SIX MONTHS! WE HAVE BEEN SO BLESSED TO BEAT THE ODDS THIS FAR AND CONTINUE TO DAILY. WE PRAY THAT THIS HORRIBLE BEAST NEVER SHOWS HIS HEAD AGAIN AND THAT TY-MICHAEL CAN GROW UP AND BE AS CLOSE TO NORMAL AS POSSIBLE .. AND THAT HIS MOM DOESNT GO NUTTS WORRYING ABOUT EVERY DETAIL OR CHANGE ..MAYBE SHE WILL LET HIM BE A KID SOMEDAY.... MAYBE!

THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN ON US AND PLEASE DONT FORGET TO CHECK IN ON OUR FRIENDS WHO ARE FIGHTING SO HARD! PLEASE PRAY FOR REMISSION FOR ALL OF THEM AND A TOTAL CURE FOR CHILDHOOOD CANCERS ..ALL OF THEM!

Thursday, November 07, 2002 at 02:15 PM (CST)

HELLO FRIENDS AND FAMILY,

WELL WE ARE STILL NOT SURE THE EXACT STATUS OF TY-MICHAEL AND HIS SCANS. TY HAD HIS SCANS TWO WEEKS AGO AND THE DOCTORS FOUND DENSE TISSUE ON HIS RIGHT LUNG,SO WE DID MORE TESTS. AND THE DOCTOR SAYS ITS "JUST PHUNOMINIA" WELL MIKE DOESNT HAVE A COUGH COLD RUNNY NOSE NO FEVER CHILLS OR HARD TIME BREATHING HE HAS NO SYMPTOMS THAT HE HAS PHUNMONIA! TY HAS BEEN ON ANTI-BIOTICS FOR 10 DAYS AND WE HOPE TO RESCAN AGAIN NEXT WEEK. WE ARE LOOKING FOR HIS LUNGS TO BE CLEAR AND DEFINATLEY CANCER FREE!

I HAVE TO SAY THAT OUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN REALLY FIGHTING ONE HECK OF A BATTLE THESE DAYS.. AS I READ THERE PARENTS POSTS I CANT HELP BUT REMEBER THE LONG DAYS AND NIGHTS OF WALKING THE HALLS WITH THIS LOOK ON MY FACE OF PURE TORMENT I CAN RELATE TO WHAT EACH OF THEM ARE FEELING AND ADMIRE THERE STRENGTH TO UPDATE EACH DAY AND LET EVERYONE KNOW EACH DAY WHAT IS HAPPNING . I DONT THINK I WOULD KNOW WHAT WORDS TO WRITE AND HOW NOT TO JUST TYPE HOW ANGREY ALL OF THIS CANCER MAKES US, I THINK MY PAGE WOULD BE "I HATE CANCER CANCER SUCKS!" OVER AND OVER. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ SOME REALLY POWERFUL MESSAGES FROM PARENTS THEN I RECOMEND ROBERT MITCHELS SITE AS WELL AS ZACH FINESTONE, THE LINK IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE.BOTH FAMILYS HAVE SUCH A TESTAMONIAL TO SHARE AND EVEN GOING THROUGH THE HARDEST PART OF THERE CHILDS CANCER DX THERE SO STRONG AND DEDICATED.

THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN ON US . I WILL UPDATE AS SOON AS WE RESCAN.

AUDRA

Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 08:19 PM (CDT)

HELLO ALL!
I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED SOONER!

WELL ON TUESDAY OF LAST WEEK TY-MICHAEL HAD HIS TWO YEAR CHECK UP! YES TWO YEARS OFF TREATMENT !! UNBELIVEABLE AND EXCITING ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
TY SAW DR.GOWDA WHO WAS HYSTERICAL TO SEE THAT TY HAD DRESSED "COMANDO STYLE" (NO UNDIES) FOR THIS APPONTMENT! THEY BOTH HAD A GREAT LAUGH ..I WAS A BIT SHOCKED MYSELF! i KEPT HEARING MY OWN MOTHERS WORDS OF WISDOME " TO ALWAYS HAVE ON CLEAN PANTIES IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT" ..WELL ACCORDING TO MIKE BOYS ARE BOYS AND THEY LIKE THIS "COMANDO STYLE " HAHA!!

SO WE DID BLOOD WORK AND URINE TESTS, AS WELL AS A PHYSICAL I HAVENT HEARD ANYTHING BACK NEGATIVE SO ALL MUST BE FINE!

WE DO HAVE AN ISSUE WITH HIS GROWTH..OK THOSE OF YOU WITH NORMAL KIDS PLEASE DONT THINK WERE NUTS HERE .. BUT TY HAS BEEN THROUGH TWO SHOE SIZES IN 8 WEEKS HE IS GROWING SO FAST WE CANT KEEP HIM IN CLOTHING (SEE ABOVE) LOL HE IS GROWING AT ACTUALLY AN ALARMING RATE. HE PLAYES EATS HAS A HEALTHY ADDITUDE SO WERE NOT QUESTIONING IF ITS CANCER ,MORE AS A BACKWARDS LONG TERM SIDE EFFECT! THERE ARE SO MANY WHO COULD KEEP UP. BASICALLY WHEN TY WAS ON TREATMENT THEY SAID DUE TO THE AMMOUNT OF RADIATION HE RECIEVED TO HIS ABDOMINAL PELVIC/ BASICALLY FROM RIB CAGE TO MID-THEIGH THAT HE WOULD NOT GROW "NORMAL" AND IF HE DID IT WOULDNT BE AN "EVEN GROWTH"...WELL WE ARE HAVING A SUPERMAN TYPE OF GROWTH GOING ON HERE AND BELIVE IT OR NOT IT WORRYS US AS MUCH AS THE ALTERNITIVE.

OK SO MONDAY TOMMROW POOR TY WITH HAVE SEVERAL TEETH PULLED POOR BABY, THE CHEMO REALLY DID A NUMBER ON HIS TEETH AND HE HAS FOUR DEEP HOLES IN FOUR DIFFERNT TEETH..NEEDLESS TO SAY HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AT BEST!ALMOST ALL OF HIS TEETH ARE ROTTED FROM THE CHEMO AND HAVE ALREADY BEEN FILLED OR CAPPED I AM NOT SURE WHAT THE PERMANT TEETH ARE GOING TO BE LIKE YET.. I HOPE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THAT TOMMROW

THEN ON TUESDAY WE HAVE OUR SCANS.. THIS IS THE PART I ALWAYS DREAD! HE WILL HAVE A CHEST X-RAY,MRI OF ABDOMINAL AND PELVIS CT FULL BODY AND I THINK I AM GOING TO REQUEST AN EXTRA TEST (IF THERE IS ONE) TO CHECK HIS JAW AND GUM/TEETH DEVELOPEMENT! I AM NOT SURE THERE IS EVEN A TEST LIKE THIS AVAILABLE.

I WILL UPDATE AGAIN AS SOON AS I KNOW WHAT THE TEST RESULTS SHOW. PRAY FOR CONTINUED REMISSION AND PLEASE PRAY FOR ALL OF OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILYS WHO ARE FIGHTING SO HARD!

ALSO ALWAYS READ ZACHS WEBPAGE THIS IS A WEBSITE COMMING FROM A DADS POINT OF VIEW. ALSO AND VERY SMART DAD WHO ALWAYS HAS A WAY OF PUTTING ALL THIS CANCER AND LIFE ISSUES IN ORDER ..THERE FAMILY IS AN INSPIRATION TO US

AUDRA

Tuesday, September 24, 2002 at 10:46 PM (CDT)

HELLO TO ALL OUR FRIENDS OUT THERE!

THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN ON TY-MICHAEL. HE IS DOING WELL PLAYING HARD LEARNING ALOT AND BEING AS MEAN AS A FIRECRACKER! BEING TY-MICHAEL!!

HIS LUST FOR LIFE I FIND AMAZEING.THE UNDERSTANDING HE HAS ABOUT LIFE ,LOVE,CANCER,DEATH AND MOSTLEY LIVING JUST BLOWS US AWAY! I AM LOOKING VERY HARD FOR HIS STRENGTH AND ACCEPTANCE. I ALREADY KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM,HOWEVER I HAVE THE HARDEST TIME FINDING THE PEACE THAT HE HAS IN HIS HEART. I WISH I COULD SEE INSIDE HIS LITTLE HEAD AND KNOW WHATS REALLY GOING ON IN THERE ! HE KNOWS HIS FRIENDS HAVE PASSED AWAY HE KNOWS THAT HIS BEST FRIEND IS FIGHTING VERY HARD FOR EVERYDAY AND HE KNOWS HOW MANY NEW KIDS ARE DX.EVERYDAY. I WONDER IF ITS WRONG TO FIND YOUR STRENGTH IN YOUR CHILD VERSES YOUR CHILD FINDING STRENGTH IN YOU?

OK SO IM TERRIBLE I KNOW .. THE PROBLEM IS THAT TY IS GOING TO HAVE HIS TWO YEAR OFF TREATMENT IN JUST A FEW WEEKS ! THIS IS GOING TO BE A WONDERFUL DAY OF CELEBRATION FOR HIM, HIS SCHOOL IS HAVING A HUGE UNBIRTHDAY PARTY FOR HIM (HE DOESNT KNOW THAT YET) I AM SURE THE DAY OCTOBER 13TH WILL BE WONDERFUL...
SO IF ITS SUCH A GREAT DAY AND SO EXCITING WHY AM I SO LOST AND SCARED? I AM OVERWHLEMED WITH THE FACT THAT THIS IS FOREVER OUR LIFE THAT NO MATTER WHAT WE DO ,SAY,FEEL,WANT OR EXPECT OUT OF LIFE.IT WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH CANCER! I FEEL SO HORRIBLE THAT THE LAST TWO YEARS HAVE PASSED BY SO QUICKLY AND I ALMOST FEEL AS IF IT WERE JUST YESTERDAY WHEN WE HAD OUR LIVES TURNED UPSIDE DOWN. I WONDER IF PARENTS EVER RECOVER FROM CHILDHOOD CANCER?

I TALKED TO NURSE PAM,SHE SAYS I HAVE TO TAKE MIKE IN FOR HIS TWO YEAR CHECK UP! I DO THINK THIS IS WONDERFUL! HOWEVER I AM SO SHAKEN ABOUT IT,AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TOMMROW THAT I CAN NOT ENJOY TODAY. I TOLD PAM I WASNT COMMING IN FOR THE APPOINTMENT SHE TOLD ME THIS IS THE NORMAL RESPONSE FOR PARENTS AT THIS STAGE. GEESH I HOPE SHE IS RIGHT!! BUT THAT I DO HAVE TO HAVE TY-MICHAEL CHECKED OUT BLOODWORK ETC. I ALREADY KNOW HE IS HEALTHY..NOW HOW DO I EXPLAINE TO DR.GOWDA THAT THE BRUISES ALL OVER HIS BODY ARE FROM US ALLOWING HIM TO PLAY TACKLE FOOTBALL?? AHH THE JOYS OF HAVING BOYS! I AM SURE HE WOULD UNDERSTAND HE KNOWS TY PRETTY WELL BY NOW AND KNOWS HIS STRENGTH AND DETERMINATION TO ACHIEVE ANY AND EVERYTHING POSSIBLE..THE MONSTER THINKS HE IS GOING TO GO BUNGIE JUMPING NEXT! WHAT WILL I DO WITH THIS CHILD!! LOL

I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST EXTRA PRAYERS FOR SOME OF OUR FRIENDS OUT THERE ON THE BATTLE LINE.. ZACH IS IN GETTING CHEMO LUCKILY ON A OUT PATIENT BASIS..ROBERT WHO IS STILL TRYING TO GROW HEALTHY CELLS AFTER HIS BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT AND BABY CAM WHO SEEMS TO BE DOING SO WELL WHAT A BUNCH OF FIGHTERS THESE BOYS ARE!! WE ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE THESE STRONG BOYS! ALL OF THE ABOVE HAVE THE MOST DEDICATED PARENTS I HAVE EVER MET. AND I FEEL SO LUCKY TO KNOW THEM ALL.

OK THATS ENOUGH FROM ME TONIGHT,MY RAMBLES ARE GOING NO WHERE AND I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP INSTEAD OF STRESSING OUT ABOUT SOMETHING I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER!

PEACE TO YOU ALL!

AUDRA

Thursday, August 15, 2002 at 08:13 AM (CDT)

HELLO,
WHAT A GREAT WEEK! TY-STARTED BACK TO SCHOOL ON MONDAY AND IS ALREADY THE TEACHERS PET! HE LOVES SCHOOL AND I THINK HE REALLY MISSED THE STRUCTURE! MIKEY LOVES TO LEARN AND HE WANTS TO GROW UP AND BE A DOCTOR SO LIKEING SCHOOL IS A BEAUTIFUL THING!

TY-MICHAEL IS ALSO PLAYING TACKLE FOOTBALL NOW... OH MY !! I CAN NOT BELIVE WE LET HIM PLAY HOWEVER HE HIS NOW 22 MONTHS CANCER FREE WITH NO PORT AND SO MUCH ENERGY! THE FOOTBALL PRACTICES ARE EVERY NIGHT MON-FRIDAY AND GAMES EVERY SATURDAY.. YOU WOULD THINK THIS WOULD WEAR HIM OUT BUT IT DOESN'T ! HIS BIG BROTHER ALEX ALSO PLAYS ON THE SAME TEAM..THEY ARE NOW THE EXACT SAME SIZE!! BOTH WEIGH 69LBS WITH FULL FOOTBALL GEAR LOL.. ITS SO DARN CUTE TO WATCH BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT I CLOSE MY EYES EVERY PLAY AND WALK THE FIELD SO I DONT HAVE TO WATCH TO CLOSELY!

TY-MICHAEL HAS ALOT OF FRIENDS THAT ARE REALLY BATTLEING AGAINST CANCER NOW . ITS A VERY HARD ROAD FOR THE CHILDREN AND THERE FAMILYS. PLEASE SAY AN EXTRA PRAYER TONIGHT AND FOR ALL OF THE CHILDREN STILL SUFFERING AND THE PARENTS WHO HAVE TO STAND STRONG BESIDE THEM KNOWING THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO BUT PRAY AND HOPE FOR THE BEST! WE ARE SO PROUD OF ALL OF YOU AND YOUR STRENGTH AND COURAGE!

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS CHECKING IN

AUDRA ,TIM ,ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL SCHMIDT

TY'S QUOTE:
"THE SCHMIDT FAMILY WITH A LITTLE SWEATT AND A WHOLE LOTTA HART"

Monday, August 05, 2002 at 11:03 AM (CDT)

HELLO ALL,
WELL OUR LITTLE MAN HAS RETURNED FROM CAMP..SAFE AND SOUND NO BROKEN BONES OR STICHES TO REPORT! THANKFULLY...

HOWEVER HE DID GIVE THOSE POOR COUNSLERS A RUN FOR SURE!!
HE WAS VERY ACTIVE AND HIMSELF.SO IF YOU KNOW HIM HEHE HE WAS DEFINATLEY A HANDFULL!!

I CAN NOT BELIVE THE AMMOUNT OF THINGS THE CAMP PACKED INTO 11 DAYS ..

TY WENT TO EVERY THEME PARK IN ORLANDO.. WOW (WISH I WENT) THEY WENT TO THE MOVIES TWICE,BOWLING ONCE,THE RAPIDS WATER PARK,BEACH, BOOMERS ,SILLY OLYMPICS AND OUT TO DINNER ALMOST EVERY NIGHT TO EITHER SONYS BBQ ,GOLDEN CORAL OR SHONEYS.. TY ALSO CALLED HOME TO SAY HE WAS BORED HAHAHAHA I JUST DONT KNOW WHERE HE GETS HIS ENERGY FROM!

I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM .EVEN THOUGH HE DIDNT MATCH HIS OUTFIT ! LOL CAMO PANTS AND TIE DYED TEE SHIRT .. GOTTA LOVE THAT MIKE!!

TY-MICHAEL WASNT HOME AN HOUR AND WAS FIGHTING WITH HIS BROTHER ... AAHHH HOME SWEET HOME!

WE ARE VERY GRATEFULL TO ALL THE COUNSLERS AND EVERYONE WHO HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH HELPING TO MAKE THIS CAMP A SUCESS IM SURE IT TOOK MANY HOURS WEEKS MAYBE EVEN THE ENTIRE YEAR JUST TO GET THE BALL ROLLING..LEE KLINE YOUR AWSOME!

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR ALL THE KIDS STILL FIGHTING THIS BEAST. WE HAVE A FEW VERY CLOSE TO OUR HEART THAT NEED THE PRAYERS AND UPLIFTING..THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

AUDRA,TIM ALEX AND TY-MICHAEL !

Saturday, July 27, 2002 at 07:34 AM (CDT)

hello to all!!

Well today my little man is off to camp. he will be gone 11 days ..I am not sure how I will do without my little shaddow! but I am certain he wont miss home and will enjoy his stay at camp fiesta.. we have never been to this camp so I am not as comfortable as i was about BOGGY CREEK!!! but I am sure the staff is great and they have all our numbers in case Ty acts like tTy lol (for those who actually know how Ty can be!!)

Ty -michaels brother isnt too happy that he doesnt get to go to camp also, but knows that he would rather stay home with his old parents than go through all the "yucky cancer" that Ty had!

As of today we are still cancer free!!! this is 21 months now. I can not even tell you where the last three years of our lives have gone. We try to live"normal" whatever that is , and stand strong by our friends who are still fighting.
All of our prayers and thoughts are with all of you . we pray for a cure for all !

thank you for your thoughts and blessings

Audra,Tim,Alex and Ty-michael Schmidt!!!

Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 03:23 edt

I would first like to thank everyone who has been involved in Ty-michaels treatment. friends family and especially the wonderful nurseing staff at St.Marys.

November 11,1999 ... started like any other day. Ty is a very active child and pretty picky eater. he wants ICE CREAM all the time..what 5 yr old doesnt?
This day took a major turn after school Ty was involved in a fight on the school bus. The other child was much older and definatly bigger . this boy brandon puched ty in the stomach four times . needless to say we were pretty angry about this. however the magnatude of what had just happened was beyond our realm of thinking.. I took ty to the pediatrition who said he was fine but would be sore for a few days ,give him a liquid diet and not to worry. I started with red pops (his favorite) ty imeadiatley began getting sick so the pediatriton said to bring him to the E.R where we stayed for several hours ,the er dr said over and over there is nothing wrong with him , he is sore ,take him home etc. my gut and heart told me a differnt story .he was listliss his color was all wrong something was definatley wrong im thinking internal bleeding from being beat up. well after being at this hospital almost overnight and the e.r dr thinking ty was just fine .he finally agreed to the c.t scan. well if you could have seen the blood rush out of these drs faces, as they looked at what we were told was a large hematoma on his bladder . withen seconds they had a trauma team of 12 on ty and told me he had to be transported to st.marys for emergency surgery, he was transported in less than 6 minuets. Whew what a sigh of relife i felt finally i know whats wrong and there really is something there always trust your motherly instinct! well i followed behind the ambulance with no luck of keeping up with them, when i arrived at st.marys hospital the trauma surgen met me at the door . he had already done an exam on ty and actually diagnosed him with Rhabdomyosarcoma a rare type of childrens cancer. The trauma dr told me he had a tumor a large one . i figured ok take it out.. little did we know what was to follow in the weeks to come.
Ty continued to get sicker and weaker his belly kept getting bigger everyday and our concerns were now , what is happening with this tumor could it break? could the tumor itself have internal bleeeding? unfortuanley we found out on 11-15-99 that the tumor had indeed broken open during the fight on the bus. he had massive blood loss and his tumor was the size of a vollyball. the cancer cells also were traveling throughout his body . he was in surgery about 6 hours when then finally came out and said that he definatley had stage 4 rhabdomyosarcoma . the worst possible diagnosis. However and this is the increadable part of ty's story .. he had the touch of god ,the dr said "if the tumor was not found and removed he would have just passed away in his sleep and we woudlnt know why ! This kid beating up my son actually saved his life , mostley because ty had no symptoms at all.!! he ate but always prefered dessert and was a definat high energy child. He never complained of pain nor did he have any intestinal problems. that i will never understand! How could he have this huge monster and no symptoms??

Ty-Michael had a very agressive protocall he receved 54 weeks of chemo .vincristine,topotecan,cytoxin actinomyocin as well as 28 high dose radiation to the abdominal pelvic area. he had two major tumor debulkings the first removed a volly ball size tumor and the second after 12 weeks of chemo was the size of a large grapefruit. his tumor apparently started in his prostate filling his entire abdominal cavity the tumor wrapped itself around his right kidney and right uriter as well as the cv artirey. all his intestines were pushed up under his rib cage he was definatley full of tumor!

Ty did not have an easy fight against this beast they call childhood cancer but he never gave up he never stoped laughing and he definatley never slowed down long enough for us to take a breath !

Ty has a great acceptance of why children have cancer and how wonderful it is for the children who pass to finally be pain free and in the arms of jesus! I truley feel he was taken to heaven and showed what he had to look forward to, i say that only because of the knowledge this little boy has about god and life as well as death , this was not something we had taught him.

Ty finished treatment in november of 2000 he has definatley given us plenty of scares since but remains cancer free 19 months now! he has been our strenghth and a shineing light to everyone who meets him.

I also wanted to share with you how Ty has delt with the losses of several friends ,special friends he has come to love dearly . When we tell him of the passing he feels terrible for there mommy and daddy but excited for his friend,to be in heaven cancer free and out of any pain. I can not count the balloons that he releases to his friends . but i can tell you if you see a balloon in the air think of ty he might have sent it to heaven to make his friends happy!

Saturday, June 01, 2002 at 02:07 PM (CDT)

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