|
||||||||||||
Click here to go back to the main page.
Click here to view older journal entries.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 10:26 PM EDT
Hello friends,
I have so much to share with all of you - but unfortunately this has been one busy week. But I did download the pictures to make room on my camera - so for now - here is our week . . . in pictures! And hopefully I'll be able to tell you all about it soon.
Please be constant in your prayers for the Arrington Family as they prepare for Taylor's services.
Still FROG-in,
~Heather & Family~
*****************************************************************
Monday, April 23, 2007 12:31 AM EDT
Hello friends,
It has been a long time since I have done a "late-night" entry. They are never a good thing because it usually means I have a lot on my mind and I am having trouble sleeping. And unfortunately that is the case tonight.
We are mourning the loss of another amazing life lost to cancer today. Our beautiful, spunky, amazing friend, Taylor was healed in Heaven this morning after a 3 1/2 year battle with cancer. Our hearts are heavy with overwhelming sadness - the pain of grief cuts deep as we face the loss of another life cut too short from this devastating disease. And my heart aches for Taylor's Family and I hope you join me in praying for all of them as they face the days ahead. Pray so hard that God's love and peace - above all understanding - comforts them greatly during this time.
As many of you know, Taylor's Family lives in our neighborhood and we attend the same church. I can remember the news of Taylor's diagnosis like it was yesterday. It was so shocking to our community and I couldn't understand how a child could get cancer! Little did I know that just 6 short months later, Jacob would also be diagnosed and we would enter the same ugly cancer world as the Arrington Family.
Mary Kay, Taylor's mom, was one of the first people to come and visit us in the hospital when Jacob was admitted after his diagnosis. She was such a comforting presence because she made us feel like we were not alone and she understood so well all the turmoil of emotions we were all feeling. Mary Kay and I were both devastated and scared - but at least we had each other's hand to hold. Mary Kay and Taylor came bearing gifts that first day we met in the hospital - and they brought Jacob a stuffed cow. He loved that cow and it always reminds me of Taylor. 
Jacob with his cow from Taylor
Mary Kay and I have shared many tears and heartaches over the years as we have struggled in our journeys living in the cancer world and we certainly share a tight bond. And today especially, my heart goes out to her. I was able to visit with them tonight and I can relate on such a personal level as a mother. The emotions are so raw and I can assure you that there is no greater pain in life than the heartache that is felt when you lose your child.
During our time together in the hospital, we also got to know Taylor. Yes, she was even more beautiful in person and just as fiesty . . . She didn't hesitate to tell you exactly what she thought! :) But she was always so very sweet with Jacob and would often help him in the clinic. She would let Jacob watch her get get pokes so that he wouldn't be so afraid and she was always giving him her stuffed animals. Jacob liked Taylor a lot and she will always be so very special to our family. 
We will remember Taylor's sweet voice, her smile, her beautiful blue eyes and her amazing spirit. She has forever touched our hearts and lives and we were so blessed to know her. How thankful we are that we got to see her at the fashion show - she was so stunning that night and that is how I will always remember her.
Our church has definitely been hit hard with the ugly reality of what cancer can do as we have lost Jacob, Pat Wills and now Taylor all within 10 months time. And I know that Jacob and Patrick were there to welcome Taylor home! I just wish it wasn't so soon. Unfortunately cancer touches the lives of so many. I pray for a CURE . . . and I hope you will all rally behind us and help us do all we can to fight this disease. We have lost too many friends this year and felt the pain of grief invade our heart time and time again.
Ending tonight with a scripture and passage that I posted right after Jacob passed away. We mourn the loss of Taylor . . . but must find comfort in knowing that she did indeed receive the ultimate cure, the most perfect healing - the biggest miracle of all . . . HEAVEN! And how I can't wait till the day when we can all be together for eternity!
"No eye has seen, No ear has heard, No mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him, - But God has revealed it to us by His Spirit.”
1 Corinthians 2:9-10
“As I contemplate the deaths of my loved ones . . .
As I contemplate our loss and the empty void in our hearts left by their absence . . .
I am more grateful than ever that this life is not all there is!
Praise God! You and I can look forward WITH HOPE because we have the blessed assurance of Heaven, My Father’s House!”
Anne Graham Lotz
Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to the Arrington Family tonight - along with many prayers of peace and lots of love. May they know that Taylor touched the lives of many and will be missed by all of us!
Hug your children a little tighter tonight and thank God for the gift of another day!
With endless HOPE,
Heather & Family
Saturday, April 21, 2007 8:48 AM EDT
May you always know how very much you are loved by all of us! You are so very special - just the way you are - and bring so much LOVE to our family. How lucky I am to be your mom.
Thanking God for the gift of Kyle,
~Heather & Family~
Thursday, April 19, 2007 12:59 PM EDT
PLEASE PRAY WITHOUT CEASING FOR OUR FRIEND,
TAYLOR
******************************************************************
Just a quick ADOPTION UPDATE for those of you following along and praying Allie home . . .
We finally received Allie's first medical report and pictures! She had her 1 month appt. on Mar. 22 - but the e-mail was lost in cyberspace and we never received it. The report was finally tracked down and arrived this morning. Allie's 1 month pictures were added to the slide show above. (You can fast forward to the end of the slideshow) She literally takes my breath away - and we can't wait till the day when we can bring her home. She is doing great in the loving care of her foster mother and already weighs 8lbs, 14oz! We are so blessed to have such a wonderful foster mother caring for our baby. May God bless her greatly!
Also - we found out that we are out of Family Court and are waiting for Pre-Approval from the US Embassy. Our case was submitted to PGN on April 13th - without Pre-Approval. This means we will definitely get kicked out - but hopefully we will find out if there are any other errors in our paperwork. This is all GREAT news and we are thanking God for progress!
Allie should have her 2 month check-up next week - so hopefully we won't have to wait as long to get new pictures and her medical report. I am sure she has already changed so much in the last month. Please keep praying for Allie, her birth mother, her foster mother and all involved with her adoption! May God hold her close . . . until we can.
Loving all 5 of my children,
~Heather & Family~
***********************************************************
Tuesday, April 17, 2007 11:53 AM EDT
Hello friends,
My heart is so heavy with the news of the shooting at Virginia Tech. I can only imagine the fear and grief that the parents of those 32 children are going through. And having lost a child myself, I can relate on such a personal level. It is just never right to lose a child - no matter how old they are. And I have such a hard time understanding how there can be such evil, violent people in this world. Please join me in praying for these families.
Times like this make me question
"WHY BAD THINGS HAVE TO HAPPEN?"
And I often turn to this article that I have saved for several years. It was written by Stacy James - who was paralyzed in a diving accident. She continues to give all the glory to God despite all the hardships she has faced in life. And she explains so well why bad things happen on this earth. The article is too long to post on our website . . . but I encourage you all to read it by clicking the link above . . . especially today as we all grieve the loss of so many innocent lives in Virginia.
We actually enjoyed a really great weekend! Donnie's parents' were visiting from Indiana and Donnie's brothers' family was here from Louisiana. We had a great time with everyone and really wish we all lived closer. Since we were all together, we celebrated all 5 of the April and May birthdays and had a joint party for Allen (Donnie's brother - whose birthday is 4/18), Kyle - whose b-day is 4/21, Brandon & Devin - whose birthday is 5/27 and Patrick (our nephew - whose birthday is 5/31). The kids loved that! And of course Jacob was not forgotten . . . and Brandon made sure we included him on the cake by putting one of Jacob's little cars on there in memory of him. Brandon ALWAYS includes Jacob in all that we do - and I am so thankful for that.
We have another very busy week coming up! I'm working at Zach's golf tournament from 11-6 on Friday and then our whole family is walking in the Relay For Life Friday night in memory of Jacob. And on top of that - we are getting company again on Friday . . . That will be a long day! Donnie may have to carry me around the track . . . smile. Then Saturday morning we have T-ball - and it is also . . .
KYLE'S 9th BIRTHDAY!
We are having a family party to celebrate his birthday on Saturday night - with a couple of Kyle's friends. Kyle (and Brandon & Devin) said that they would rather go to Star Wars Weekends at Disney instead of having a big party at home. So we have made reservations and will head to Disney the first week in June as a joint birthday present/party for the boys. Lots of stuff going on . . . but it blesses me greatly to be so busy with such good things!
Also, a couple of weeks ago, I accepted the nomination to sit on the Board of Directors for the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. I just found out yesterday that my application was approved and I am now an offical Board Member. I am honored and excited to be joining the PCF team. I truly feel that I belong there . . . and know that it is just part of God's plan for my life. I hope you all join me in supporting the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. I truly believe they are on the verge of something BIG and will make such a difference in childhood cancer research. I just love this foundation and all that they stand for - they care so much about the children and are so dedicated to finding the CURE!
Again, I must thank everyone who has made a donation to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation in memory of Jacob. I continue to stand in awe of your kindness . . . and your support encourages me daily to press on, to keep going and to keep fighting for ALL children battling cancer. There is strength in numbers and TOGETHER we can all make a difference. Since money is tight on our end, we have been saving our change and will make a donation to PCF in June as our gift to Jacob. It is amazing how much we have already saved! We can't give him presents to open this year - but we can certainly remember Jacob and honor all children with a donation to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. Every dollar counts!
You can make a donation in memory of Jacob by CLICKING HERE.
(See the April 2 journal update for more info)
I have received several e-mails about different fundraising ideas you are doing in memory of Jacob. It means the world to us that Jacob continues to touch lives and make a difference in this world. It means so much to us that he has not been forgotten. We got an especially touching e-mail last week and I have permission to share it with all of you. Here is part of the e-mail that was sent to their family and friends . . .
"Emma had 11 inches cut off her hair yesterday in memory of her friend Jacob Duckworth. Jacob lived on our street when we lived in Florida. He made his journey to heaven on June 12, 2006, at the young age of six, after a long battle with cancer. Emma's hair will be sent to "Locks of Love". They will make her hair into a beautiful wig for a child that is losing their hair due to cancer treatment."
This family used to live in our neighborhood - but moved away about 3 years ago. We miss them terribly . . . as I'm sure you can tell that they are a very special family. They are also doing all that they can to raise awareness for childhood cancer. Emma is the same age as the boys and I think she is BEAUTIFUL with her new haircut.
Ending with a scripture that brings HOPE in the midst of so much pain . . .
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”
Revelation 21:4
Longing for Heaven,
~Heather & Family~
*****************************************************************
To celebrate Jacob's amazing life and memory, I thought it would be great to share with you some of the e-mails I have received about Jacob - many of which we received after he passed away. Some of them are so very special and they all remind me that Jacob's life was indeed filled with a BIG purpose. And this is a great way to remember Jacob during this special time in his life! The letter below is very special to me and was written beautifully. I always keep it close to my heart. For privacy reasons, I will not post last names.
Keep On Frogging
by Allison
Some people have a radiance about them that naturally draws people to them. They have a smile that can light up a room, and a contagious laugh. Jacob was one of these people. Even though I never met Jacob face to face, he touched my life. Jacob is a courageous little boy who was taken to his heavenly home much too soon by our human standards.
I never met Jacob in real life. I only knew him through the website his mom updated nearly every day. Yet even through the cold plastic and glass of my computer monitor, Jacob's life shone through and touched many. Some days I cheered, as Jacob walked out of the hospital with a "do not resuscitate" bracelet on his arm after he was given days to live. Other days, I cried, as Jacob was placed on a ventilator. But even then, his life shone through and he amazed everyone, doctors and nurses included, by standing up while still connected to the ventilator. Nobody does that. No one except, of course, for Amazing Jacob.
Jacob's motto throughout his fight with cancer was "FROG," or "Fully Rely on God." He and his family lived that out to its fullest extent. His family's hope never wavered, even when the physicians gave them the hard news. They knew the Great Physician, and fully relied on Him.
Even in his last days, Jacob let his personality and life shine through. One night, his IV started beeping. He moved his hands and his head to the beeps, like he was dancing. His mom chuckled, and said "Soon you'll be shaking your booty at home with your brothers." He then proceeded to shake his bottom while lying in the hospital bed.
Jacob and his family taught me many things. They taught me to believe in miracles. Not just a surface knowledge that God can perform miracles, but a belief that God WILL perform miracles, while still realizing that God's will may not be our will. That may seem like a contradiction, but it's not. It's a delicate balance of acknowledging God's omnipotence while submitting to His sovereignty at the same time. When asked whether his brother still had cancer, one of his triplet brothers said "Oh no, he had that a long time ago, but God took it away."
God has taken away Jacob's cancer. While Jacob did not receive his miracle here on earth, he received the ultimate miracle. He received his crown from his Savior, Jesus Christ. He has heard "Well done, my good and faithful servant." He has received his mansion. I'm sure it's the gathering place for all of heaven's frogs. Jacob is now shaking his booty in his eternal home, laughing and playing with others whom God has called home. He is now living the ultimate abundant life in heaven. Someday, Jacob will be waiting to greet those of us who loved him, both in real life and through the cold confines of a computer screen. He will be smiling with us as we hear "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Whenever I see a frog, I think of Jacob. I think of his miracles, and I think of his ultimate miracle. I am so glad I was able to hear Jacob's story and am looking forward to the day when I will meet him and my Savior face to face.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007 3:00 PM EDT
Hello friends,
I hope you all had a wonderful Easter holiday. We certainly did - although as with everything in our life now - it was certainly bittersweet without Jacob here with us. Easter is such an emotional holiday anyway when we really take the time to think about why we celebrate the season. But how thankful I am for the gift of HOPE that God gave us all. And how thankful I am to have my boys - what a blessing they are as they are able to fill each day with JOY and LAUGHTER no matter how deep the grief may be. The boys had a great Easter and enjoyed the egg hunts, Easter baskets and chocolate - as you can tell by the slideshow below.
It sometimes surprises me how often thoughts of Jacob invade my mind . . . not a day goes by that I don't think about him . . . and miss him. I miss his light that shined so brightly in our lives. No matter where I am or what I am doing - Jacob is there with me - ALWAYS in my thoughts. He influences every decision I make and Jacob is the reason I am so passionate now about raising awareness and finding a CURE for childhood cancer. Sometimes I wonder - if Jacob will still be constant in my thoughts 10 or 20 years from now. I hope that he is - because I know that he has helped shape who I am and made me a better person along the way. Truly he has touched my life forever and was such an amazing little teacher. He brought our family closer to God in a way that no one else could and that closeness has brought such a peace in our lives and helped us to carry on with HOPE and not bitterness and despair. Tears still fall often - but Jacob taught me well how to handle the pain . . . how to keep going, to keep smiling, to keep celebrating each day despite the mourning . . . to keep trusting God and thanking Him for all the blessings in our life.
We have a busy month coming up . . . with T-ball, Zach's memorial golf tournament, Relay for Life, Kyle's 9th birthday - lots of stuff going on! But BUSY is good. And Donnie's family is coming for a visit this Saturday, so we should have another fun weekend! We are all looking forward to spending time with them.
No adoption news this week . . . hopefully soon! But we were thrilled to get some baby items for Easter. I haven't bought anything yet - as it still seems like such a long time till we bring Allie home. But it was quite exciting to hang new little baby dresses in her closet . . . definitely made us wish she was home with us for Easter. However, we know that she is well-cared for by her foster mother. Keep praying Allie home!
Many thanks for checking in on us. I have received many letters over the years from people who tell me that they just can't read Jacob's site anymore because it is too sad. And I know that it is emotionally draining to read about children with cancer and to read about children who move onto Heaven. Unfortunately it is an absolutely horrible reality of this life and no one wants to be a part of this world. It is sad and devastating to read about these beautiful children who have to fight so hard to LIVE. So please know that I appreciate all who continue to support our family and many other children on CB. It takes a very special type of person to care so much about others - because I know it is not always easy letting these kids into your hearts. I hope these children encourage you all to stay involved and keep fighting for the CURE!
Thank you so much to all of you who have already made a donation in memory of Jacob! And thanks, also, to those of you who are planning fundraising activities. It is an emotional time - approaching Jacob's earthly birthday and his heavenly birthday and I can't tell you how much it means to our family to have you celebrate Jacob in this way. We can't give him presents to open this year - but we can certainly remember Jacob and honor all children with a donation to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. Every dollar counts!
You can make a donation in memory of Jacob by CLICKING HERE.
(See the April 2 journal update for more info)
I have thought a lot about God's grace lately because truly - that is what gets us through each day. In fact, the dictionary says that GRACE is:
"the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them."
Grace is a gift to all of us and I feel it daily!
Ending with a scripture - the last verse of the Bible . . .
"The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen."
Revelation 22:21
"This scripture closes the book of Revelation with hope, because the grace of Jesus is with all who believe in Him. How Jesus is ultimately triumphant over evil and how his people with find peace and joy with Him in Heaven. And so it reveals that Jesus' grace is not merely for your troubles tonight - rather, it inspires an optimism that literally never fails, because a wonderful eternity awaits you. Therefore, remember that the days ahead are hopeful, for Jesus' grace is with you. Thank you God for this unfailing HOPE - it will sustain me no matter what comes!"
Moments of Peace for the Evening
Keep praying for all those in need . . . especially our friend, Taylor.
Only by His grace,
~Heather & Family~
Monday, April 2, 2007 12:04 PM EDT
Hello friends,
I have so much to share with you all today . . . so bear with me - this will probably be a rather long update!
First, I must wish my dad a very Happy Birthday . . . He is the best! His birthday was yesterday - Yes, on April Fool's Day. We spent the day with him and the boys had a lot of fun swimming in Grandpa's pool. It was a great day.
Donnie and I also had the absolute pleasure of attending Fashion Funds the Cure on Tuesday night. I can't even begin to put into words how very touching and special the night was. There were 27 girls in the Fashion Show - who are currently in treatment for cancer or are in remission. How inspiring to watch them walk down the runway with their celebrity escort! The girls were BEAUTIFUL and beaming with pride, strength and courage and it was so inspiring to watch them. One of the girls who is usually wheelchair bound got up and walked (with a little help) down the runway. She was weak - yet oh so strong - and received a standing ovation. Needless to say - it was an emotional night and I couldn't help but to cry when I saw each girl come out. I can't tell you how blessed we were to attend this event . . . it is truly life-changing and affected all who attended. Definitely inspires us all to keep fighting for the cure. And the night was a huge success . . . over $165,000 was raised for the Pediatric Cancer Foundation - which will go right towards Childhood Cancer Research. Here are the links to a couple of stories and pictures from the event . . .
STUDIO 10 - Click on the March 28th video.
BUCS VIDEO
TAMPA BAY BUCS PHOTOS
There will be another Fashion Funds the Cure event in Orlando on April 17, 2007 from 6-9pm at Saks Fifth Ave at the Florida Mall. I encourage you all to attend if you live in the area. It is truly a wonderful event!
Another thing that has been weighing very heavy on my heart is the fact that we are quickly approaching 2 very important dates in Jacob's life . . .
The first is May 27 - which is Jacob's birthday. How thankful we are that we still get to celebrate the day with Brandon and Devin. But how bittersweet it will be as we will definitely be missing Jacob in a powerful way! The boys will be turning 7 . . . yet Jacob will remain forever 6 years old! Forever young - forever amazing - forever loved - forever our son - forever in our hearts. How we wish Jacob were here - to turn 7 and celebrate with his brothers. Which reminds me of the wonderful poem someone sent me recently .
The End
When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three,
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five,
I was just alive.
But now I am six,
I'm as clever as clever
So I think I'll be six now
Forever and ever.
By A.A. Milne
How ironic that the title of the poem is "The End." Yet I know that it is just "The Beginning" for Jacob . . . the beginning of his wonderful life in Heaven!
The next important date is June 12 - the day that Jacob's life on earth ended and his life in Heaven began. It is hard for me to believe that almost a year has passed . . . A year since I have heard him giggle, a year since I have held him in my arms, a year since he took his last breath on earth. And although this year has been painful - and has been the hardest of my life, I have always felt God's presence in a powerful way. He has placed a peace in my heart that truly gives me the strength to get through each day. God gave Jacob the ultimate healing . . . healing him in the most perfect way. No, it wasn't on earth as I so persistently prayed for . . . but knowing that Jacob is safe in the arms of God - where no illness or pain can ever touch him again . . . knowing that Jacob is HOME with the Lord - which is the destination we all desire to reach one day . . . knowing that Jacob is filled with the joy of Heaven brings much peace in my life despite the heartache. And as I said before . . . Jacob's pain ended as mine began. I would much rather endure the suffering than him! And I know that God will see me through each day until I am reunited with Jacob for eternity. And although each day takes me further away from Jacob's earthly presence, I know that it brings me one day closer to seeing Jacob again in Heaven!
Which brings me to the significance of these dates . . . they will always be important in my life - always reminding me of my amazing son. And Donnie and I have talked about how we can honor this time in Jacob's life. . . his earthly birthday and his heavenly birthday since they are only 16 days apart. And what we have decided to do is ask everyone to remember Jacob . . . to celebrate his wonderful life of 6 years . . . by making a donation in his memory to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. We can't think of a better present we could give Jacob than a CURE - and your donation would help fund the research that could make that possible!
I am sharing this information with you early - because I am hoping that many of you will turn this into a fundraising effort and do all that you can to raise money in memory of Jacob during the next 2 months. I know that money is tight for many of us - and with our adoption expenses - I know that all too well. But we all have the power to RAISE MONEY for PCF . . .and the ideas are endless! Have a bake sale, a lemonade stand, a yard sale. Get your children involved and their schools and your church - I LOVE the idea of KIDS HELPING KIDS WITH CANCER. Collect change for the next 2 months - it adds up! Ask your work to make a company donation - it's tax deductible. Can you imagine the possibilities??? Or CLICK HERE for some more fundraising ideas. I am so excited . . . and just know that if we work together we could raise a lot of money!
All of the money would go towards the Sunshine Project - which is . . .
"a collaboration of the nation's top researchers and institutions that is fast tracking new therapies for children battling sarcomas and other rare forms of cancer while simultaneously conducting three phases of advanced research, allowing for unprecedented learning about the disease and its response to treatments. The first clinical trials will begin this summer, at a cost of $12,000 per patient, and we estimate The Sunshine Project will cost $5 million dollars over three years. Every dollar raised, every dollar donated will bring us closer to a cure."
Barb Rebold, Executive Director of the Pediatric Cancer Foundation
This project could help many children fighting cancer and it is so exciting to see that the clinical trials will start this summer - and they have many doctors from around the US working on the research. This is so important to me. God has definitely placed the desire to fight for the cure on my heart - because I don't want any other child to have to endure all the hardships that Jacob did. But unfortunately it takes money. And I know that many of you want to help - and many of you have been personally touched by Childhood Cancer yourself. This is a great way to get involved and truly make a difference. Please e-mail me pictures and/or stories about your fundraising projects in memory of Jacob and I will be sure to create a slideshow and share it all on Jacob's site. You could also contact your local newspaper and news stations - they could pick up your story and that would raise even more awareness about Childhood Cancer. Your ideas could inspire others! So please - help me honor Jacob and keep his loving, generous spirit ALIVE by donating to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation.
You can make a donation online by CLICKING HERE. Be sure to let them know it is in memory of AMAZING JACOB! Or you can mail your donation to the following address:
Pediatric Cancer Foundation
14005A North Dale Mabry Highway
Tampa, FL 33618
(813) 269-0955
Thank you all so much for your support . . . and I hope you share my excitement and enthusiasm for this project. I truly think that the Pediatric Cancer Foundation could do for Childhood Cancer Research what the Susan G. Komen Foundation did for Breast Cancer Research. PCF is dedicated to finding a CURE for ALL types of Childhood Cancer. And the people working there care so much about the children. It blesses me greatly to be involved in such a wonderful organization and I hope you all join me in supporting them. Together we can make a HUGE impact on Childhood Cancer Research . . . and give all kids HOPE of finding a CURE!
Do it in memory of Amazing Jacob - who fought such a hard battle.
Do it in honor of all the beautiful kids fighting so courageously for their lives right now. Do it for the 14,000 children who will be diagnosed this year - one of which could be someone close to your heart. Do it to SAVE the 3,000 children who will die this year if we don't find a cure.
In adoption news . . . our case continues to move right along. We found out that DNA was a match on Friday so that was wonderful news. We are now in Family Court and will continue to pray that our case has no complications or delays. And always we pray for the birth mother, the foster mother and for Allie - that she is loved and happy and healthy and that we get to bring her home soon. We were thrilled to receive a DVD of Allie on Friday - and it blessed us greatly to see her moving and interacting with the foster mother. We can't wait to see her and hold her ourselves - but we trust in God's timing - and feel tremendous peace with waiting.
As we start another week - memories of Jacob flood our hearts and minds. This time last year was such a special time for us and we were blessed with some wonderful memories of Easter. Little did we know that our time with Jacob would be coming to an end soon. How I treasure each moment and memory . . . they are truly priceless gifts to me.
And as we head into this Holy Week - I have thought a lot about the sacrifices that Jesus made for us. He has experienced the pain, the suffering, the grief and the death that comes with living on earth. He understands. He forgives. He loves us all. And it is because of Him that we continue to live with such HOPE, such JOY, such PEACE, such LOVE in our hearts. He is our saviour, our Prince of Peace. How grateful I am to have Him in my life. May we all thank God this Easter for the gift of His son. And may you all have a wonderful holiday with your families!
Please continue to pray for all who are listed on the Prayer Request page. Unfortunately the list grows daily and there are so many who need prayers. Please know that our family is praying for all of you!
Ending with a scripture . . .
"You don't have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. Do you believe this?""
John 11:25-26
The Message
Believing,
~Heather & Family~
Monday, March 26, 2007 11:34 AM EDT
Hello friends,
We had a fabulous Spring Break! I absolutely love having the boys home and we had so much fun together this week. Spring Break has always been my special time with the guys and we try to do something fun everyday - kind of like a mini-vacation right here at home. We did a lot this week . . . The Florida Aquarium, Gameworks, the park, Chuck E. Cheese, Busch Gardens and Sea World. The weather was perfect - warm and sunny - and we enjoyed every minute of our time together. It was great having a break from alarm clocks, homework, the computer and T-ball games! And we all definitely had the "Monday Morning Blues" this morning. We are already craving summer vacation.
Donnie was able to take some time off and go to Busch Gardens and Sea World with us. It has been hard for us to jump back into theme parks . . . they remind us so much of Jacob because he absolutely LOVED them. So we definitely were thinking of Jacob a lot this week and are so thankful for all the wonderful memories we have. And we know that Jacob is always with us . . . he continues to be such an important part of our lives.
We are still seeing the cardinals every where we go, but the most unbelievable sighting was inside the Florida Aquarium! How it found it's way inside was truly amazing to us. We definitely feel Jacob's presence with us always. And whenever we find ourselves missing him - usually a cardinal is nearby. Absolutely amazing and so very comforting!
So far, our adoption is going smoothly! Once we accepted the referral - there are 5 important steps to bringing our baby home . . .
1. DNA - A DNA test is done to make sure that it is the biological mother giving the baby up for adoption. Our DNA test was done Mar. 22 and we are waiting for the results. Please pray that it is a match and pray for the birth mother during this time. Pray that she has peace with her decision. Pray that God comforts her greatly.
2. Family Court - After DNA is a match we enter family court where a Social Worker reviews our case and interviews the birth mother about why she is not able to care for the child. The foster mother is also interviewed. Constant prayers for the birth mother . . . that she shows up on time for all the interviews and is wrapped in God's grace and strength.
3. Pre-Approval - Then the Social Worker approves our case and issues us Pre-Approval for the adoption.
4. PGN - This is the final stage - and often the most difficult! Many adoptees call it the "Black Hole" because you never know when you will get out of PGN! Your case is reviewed and scrutinized carefully and you can get kicked out for various reasons with your paperwork or the birth mother's paperwork. Typically you are in PGN for 8-12 weeks - but it can go much longer if there are any errors found in your paperwork. That's why is could take 6-12 months till be get to bring Allie home.
5. Pink Slip - After getting out of PGN, you are issued a PINK SLIP with your Embassy Date to pick up your child. So needless to say - we are looking forward to our pink slip! But we are trusting in God's timing and plan.
Allie was a month old on the 20th, so we are hoping to get new pictures soon! Once DNA is a match, we are able to travel to Guatemala to visit her. We are hoping to be able to do this during the summer and take the boys and the Grandparents with us - but we have to wait and see if we can work it all out.
Another busy week coming up . . . I had taken a break from working on the book last week so I could enjoy the time with the boys - so I am diving back into that project. I want to have it done before summer vacation - which starts May 24th! And tomorrow night is FASHION FUNDS THE CURE benefitting the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. Donnie and I are excited about attending and getting to see so many of our friends from the hospital! If you are local - please come out and support this wonderful event. It is a great opportunity to support Childhood Cancer Research and get to see some beautiful HEROES fighting cancer. Here are some local beauties who will be in the Fashion Show . . .
~ Taylor ~ Sydney ~ Carlee ~ Katia ~ Hannah ~ Samantha ~ Sierra ~ Remi ~
Jacob has a new buddy in Heaven this morning . . . Please pray for Matty's Family. Matty was freed from cancer last night and given the ultimate healing in Heaven. That leaves many of us with a broken heart . . . please pray hard for his family left behind. He was such a special kid! Thank you so much for visiting the Prayer Request page and listing those who need prayers. I hope you all stop by and pray for those in need . . . please visit those sites listed by clicking the link above the journal.
Ending with a scripture . . .
"So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please Him."
2 Corinthians 5:6-9
"The best part of Heaven is that we will be with Jesus. Second best? We'll be with our family and friends who know God. That's why, when Christian loved ones die, God tells us not to grieve like those who have no hope, but to comfort and encourage each other by anticipating the ultimate family reunion. That's why Heaven should mean more to us every time a friend moves there."
Randy Alcorn
From In Light of Eternity
Anticipating the ultimate family reunion . . .
~Heather & Family~
Friday, March 16, 2007 12:45 AM EDT
Hello friends,
I have been working constantly on getting Jacob's journal ready to publish. I have found a self-publishing company that will do it exactly like I want. I am quite particular about how I want it done and if everything works out, I think it will be perfect! I am still about a month or so from completing it - but am so excited to start to see it all come together. My only concern is the book being too long . . . I didn't realize how much I had written in the past 3 years! It will be available for purchase so those of you who would like a copy will be able to buy one. Unfortunately, though, I have picked a more expensive version because it was very important to me to include a lot of pictures and the color printing raises the cost of the book. But it was worth it to me . . . I couldn't tell Jacob's story without pictures. That is one of the reasons I wanted to publish it myself - so I could do it exactly the way I wanted and I wanted to keep the sole rights to our story.
Working on this book has become a full-time job. Publishing Jacob's story is something that is so important to me because I want to have it for the boys and for Allie to read one day when they are older. I am doing this for them - and publishing it with them in mind! I am so afraid of the boys forgetting things about Jacob and this book and - especially the pictures will help them remember. Of course - it has been quite hard for me to do because it is so very difficult going through each journal entry - and reliving so many painful memories. It is like opening a sore wound time and time again and I literally sob while I work. And needless to say, I have missed Jacob fiercely this week as I revisit each precious picture and read and write about all that has happened during the past 3 years. My heart aches for him.
While working on the book, I realized something that once again brought tears to my eyes and caused a full-fledge sobbing cry! Allie was born on FEBRUARY 20, 2007 and we received her referral on Feb. 23. When going through the journals - I realized that those days were significant because Jacob was diagnosed with cancer exactly 3 years earlier - on FEBRUARY 20, 2004 and his first, major, 7-hour surgery was on Feb. 23. At that point, without a shadow of a doubt - I knew that Allie was meant to be our daughter - definitely sent by Jacob. It is Jacob's way of sending us HOPE . . . and taking a day of horrible memories and turning it into something beautiful - something to celebrate. God is so good and we are so thankful for all the blessings in our life.
Donnie's parents were here last weekend and we had a great time with them. They were able to see the boys' T-ball game - which is really starting to get exciting. It has been so fun to watch them learn and Brandon & Devin are good players. I hope they stay with it! Then Saturday we went to the beach and had a beautiful day. And after being buried under snow for the past few months, Donnie's parents really enjoyed the sunshine. Sunday we went to a local fair, "The Strawberry Festival," which is always fun. Of course the best part is eating the Strawberry Shortcake. We also celebrated Donnie's mom's birthday. It was such a special treat for us to be able to be with her on her birthday and to celebrate together.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMA CLAUDIA!
I have been overwhelmed lately with prayer requests and it has been really hard for me to keep up with them. And this week especially, I am so behind on e-mails. I really want to be able to pray and encourage everyone else to pray for all those in need . . . but I am not able to keep up with the e-mails and guestbook entries asking for prayers. So . . . I thought I would create a new Prayer Request webpage. You can click the link and write in your prayer requests or fundraiser info. I am really excited about this . . . and I hope everyone will visit the site and pray for all those in need. So please put all prayer requests or any other info you want to share with others on that site (fundraisers, blood drives, praise reports). Hopefully that will cut down on some of my e-mails . . . and I won't worry so much about keeping up with it or forgetting to mention someone!
I am still working with some friends on several ideas to help raise awareness for Childhood Cancer. It bothers us tremendously that Childhood Cancer is so ignored and largely goes unrecognized. Wouldn't it be great if Childhood Cancer got the same attention as breast cancer or leukemia? We have made huge strides in breast cancer and leukemia over the past several years because of more awareness and funds raised for research. We want to see the same done for Childhood Cancer, too! (I understand that leukemia is also a childhood cancer, but more research needs to be done on the pediatric level.) Childhood Cancer includes ALL pediatric cancers - no matter what type it is!
One of our main goals is to start a huge letter writing campaign - encouraging media, talk shows, companies, businesses and government officials to help us raise awareness and support childhood cancer research. We hope to have a website up and running soon with the addresses and sample letters so that you can start writing these letters with us. But feel free to start writing them now . . . share your own story, Jacob's story or the facts about childhood cancer and convince everyone to raise awareness and support pediatric cancer research and The Pediatric Cancer Foundation. We are also looking for a celebrity spokesperson for Childhood Cancer . . . so let me know if you have any connections. Our local news did a segment on the Sunshine Project that the Pediatric Cancer Foundation is doing . . . it was very encouraging to hear about new pediatric drugs and trials that will be starting this summer. Research does make a difference!
The boys are on Spring Break next week and I am so excited to have them home for a whole week! They are already planning what they want to do each day and we are all looking forward to having some fun together.
Have a wonderful week . . . and know how grateful we are that you stopped by.
Ending with a scripture . . .
"God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4 NLT
"The kind of grief or mourning that cries out for mercy is heard. Thus those who mourn are comforted. These are the tears that are wiped from our eyes.
So we celebrate, not just for what will one day be, but for our present reality in Christ. Our mourning leads to celebration. Our cries for mercy harmonize into our songs of deliverance. Celebration and mourning are of one cloth. The two are not at variance with one another, but in this life, grow out of each other. We cry out, and He hears."
Scott Lyons
The line that caught my attention was: "CELEBRATION AND MOURNING ARE OF ONE CLOTH." Definitely makes so much sense to me - especially when realizing that Feb. 20 causes us the mourning of Jacob's cancer diagnosis, but now also causes the celebration of Allie's birth!
Celebrating & mourning,
~Heather & Family~
Friday, March 9, 2007 1:49 PM EST
Hello friends,
Just wanted to share our excitement . . . we got new pictures of Allie today! Definitely brings a smile to my face when I find new pictures in my e-mail box. Typically we only get pictures every month, but the director from our adoption agency is in Guatemala and she was able to visit our baby - and take lots of pictures! I have added 12 new pics to the slideshow below so you can see how much she has already changed! But here is my favorite - she looks like she is almost smiling!
The woman in the pictures is her foster mother - and we thank God for her every day! The doll and photo album are some of the things we sent.
I am also very excited after attending the meeting with the doctors this morning doing the research for the Sunshine Project with PCF. I will fill you all in next week . . . but I am encouraged and so passionate about raising awareness - more than ever!
Have a great weekend! I'm off to go look at the pictures of Allie AGAIN! :)
Ending with a scripture . . .
"Celebrate God all day, every day."
Philippians 4:4
The Message
Celebrating Him,
~Heather & Family~
*************************************************************
Monday, March 5, 2007 4:04PM EST
Hello friends,
FINALLY . . .
An update!
I have so much to share with all of you - but most of you have already heard our BIG news! :) Yes, we accepted a referral of a beautiful baby girl on Feb. 23rd - and it has been so hard to keep that little secret! But our referral was pending bloodwork and medical info on our little one so we had to wait for the adoption agency to receive all of that information before it became official! And I am so happy to share that Allie seems quite healthy so far. She was born in Guatemala and her birth mother is 22 years old. Our baby is already in foster care and is loved and cared for by a wonderful foster mother.
As for the name . . . we just like the name Allie and Patricia is after my mom. It was quite hard finding a name to go with Patricia and Duckworth - but we all love Allie. It is simple, beautiful and not too common. And as an added bonus it flows with the middle and last name! :) All of my boys have middle names after family members, too.
Unfortunately - we still have a long ways to go before we can bring Allie home - and each case is different so I don't even like to speculate . . . but it will probably be 6-12 months before she will be home in our arms. International adoption is definitely a long and complicated process. And - adoptions are always risky and never guaranteed . . . So although we are excited - we are a little guarded and won't be "jumping for joy" till we have her home. But we are good "FROGGERS" so we will just pray without ceasing for this little one and trust in God's timing and plan for our family. We know that this is all in His hands . . . so we will LET GO and LET GOD! I think I have posted this poem before, but now is a good time to read it again!
Let Go And Let God
Today I let go and I let God
take charge of this life of mine.
Now in the dark corners of my soul,
His light is beginning to shine.
All of the cares and worries that
I have carried around for so long
He has lifted them from my shoulders,
and filled my heart with love.
Problems that were overwhelming
suddenly seem very small,
and come what may, starting today,
I know I can handle them all.
If you are troubled,
'Let Go and Let God'
take charge of your life for you, and
however dark life's shadows seem,
His light will come shining through.
Author Unknown
We will receive monthly medical updates and pictures of Allie - and I will share all of that on Jacob's website so that you can follow our journey with us. We are also able to send her care packages - and the first one is already on its way. Needless to say - we had fun shopping for pink! And the boys are thrilled . . . as they are so ready to have a little sister. But I think it is a good thing that she will be a little older when she comes home as the boys are ready to PLAY with her! I don't think they would have much fun with a newborn. :) And we think Allie is just perfect . . . and I can't get over how much hair she has! Having had 4 BALD boys - I'm not sure what to do with all that hair. Can you tell that Allie is already loved by all of us??! (Grandparents included!) Yes, she has already worked her way into our hearts!
Please pray for the adoption to go smoothly - with no complications or delays. Pray for the birth mother to have peace and to know what a beautiful gift she is giving us. Pray for the foster mother - that she will love our little one and take good care of her. Pray for Allie - to be healthy and happy and loved until we bring her home. Trusting that God will hold her close and guide us through this unknown and sometimes scary journey . . . and thanking Him for this precious gift of new LIFE.
All of this news and the unknown path of our journey is quite emotionally overwhelming! The tears have been flowing with so many feelings . . . and I find myself thinking about Jacob and missing him even more. It is such an unbelievable feeling to think that Jacob has already met his little sister in Heaven . . . that perhaps he picked her out just for us! I don't know this for sure . . . but it is definitely something that I think about often and find great comfort in knowing that our daughter was picked by her amazing brother. And it is comforting to know that we are all somehow connected through God! I hope you turned up the music for the video montage . . . the song is just perfect - reminding me so overwhelmingly of Jacob and for this new LIFE that we pray will one day be our daughter. Here are the lyrics . . .
Amazing
by Chris Janz
The morning cold and raining
Dark before the dawn could come
How long in twilight waiting
Longing for the rising sun
Oh, Oh
You came like crashing thunder
Breaking through these walls of stone
You came with wide eyed wonder
Into all this great unknown
Hush now don’t you be afraid
I promise you I’ll always stay
I’ll never be that far away
I’m right here with you
You’re so amazing
You shine like the stars
You’re so amazing
The beauty you are
You came blazing
Right into my heart
You’re so amazing
You are, You are
You came from Heaven shining
Breath of God still fresh on you
The beating heart inside me
Crumbled at this one so new
Oh, Oh
No matter where, how far you wander
For a thousand years or longer
I will always be there for you
Right here with you
I hope your tears are few and fast
I hope your dreams come true at last
I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on
I hope you wish on every star
I hope you never fall too far
I hope this world can see how wonderful you are
No, there is no way I can watch that video and listen to that song without crying my heart out. But through those tears - the one thing I know and feel so deeply is that GOD IS GOOD and I thank Him over and over again for the 5 precious gifts he Has given me.
Of course my mom has already worked her "picture magic" and has created a beautiful photo collage . . .
Other exciting news is that we are really working on some great ideas to raise awareness for childhood cancer - and I can't wait to start putting our ideas into action. I had lunch last week with 4 other 'cancer moms' and friends from the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. We are really working on some BIG ideas and will eventually need your help implementing them. And I am so honored to be working with PCF. Please visit their website and read what they are doing for childhood cancer research - simply amazing! Unfortunately, we can't count on the government to provide funding . . . and many organizations are great - but they don't do much for pediatric cancer. In fact - as I've mentioned before, the National Cancer Institute only gives 3 percent of their overall budget to childhood cancer. But PCF gives 100 percent to pediatric cancer research - including rare types of cancer that are often overlooked. Check out their Sunshine Project . . . they are really making a difference and working with many hospitals around the US.
And this Friday I am attending a meeting (along with other cancer moms and PCF) with the doctors involved with the Sunshine Project. I am excited, honored and so very curious about what they have to say. Truly - these doctors are working so hard trying to find a cure . . . The least we can do is help them by funding research and raising awareness!
Donnie's parents are coming for a visit this week. They will be here Thursday - so we have a fun and busy weekend planned with them. And I have a busy and not-so-fun week cleaning my house! :)
Please keep praying for all the children who have cancer . . . pray hard for the cure to be found! I still haven't caught up on all the prayer requests I've received - and I am really behind now that I was without internet for several days. Please be sure to check the guestbook because many times prayer requests are listed there, too. Just know that our family is always praying for all of you!
Thanks so much, my friends, for continuing to be there to share our joys and our griefs. And thank you all for the sweet comments in the guestbook - it was great to hear from you all today! You all have touched our hearts so deeply and we thank God for sending us such an amazing support system. Please know what a difference you have made in our life - and the lives of many others - simply by praying and caring!
Ending with a scripture that reminds me of our beautiful baby in Guatemala and our amazing son in Heaven . . .
"But if we hope for something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently."
Romans 8:25
Waiting - with patience and HOPE,
~Heather & Family~
********************************************************************
UPCOMING EVENTS . . .
Mark your calendars and come support these wonderful fundraisers!
Fashion Funds the Cure on March 27, 2007 at 6pm. Saks Fifth Avenue at Westshore Plaza benefitting the Pediatric Cancer Foundation.
Zach Tucker Golf Scramble on April 20, 2007 at 1pm at Bloomingdale Golfers Club benefitting the Giving Hope Through Faith Foundation.
Relay for Life of FishHawk on April 20-21, 2007 at Newsome High School benefitting the American Cancer Society.
Friday, March 2, 2007 11:25 AM EST
Hello friends,
Unfortunately - we are in the process of changing internet and cable providers - so I am without TV and internet till Saturday. I hooked up quickly with dial-up through my cell phone - but there is no way I can do a long update between the SLOW connection and being disconnected often.
So, I promise you an update on Monday . . . I have so much to share with you all - very exciting things going on around here. And I know I am way behind on prayer requests - as I have received many. Please know that we are praying for all in need . . . and we are always praying for a CURE! Please know, too, that we are working on some GREAT ideas to help raise awareness and fight childhood cancer. I will share all of that with you soon - so please check back and join me in this fight! :)
Have a great weekend . . . and know how thankful we are for your continued love, support and encouragement! Love, hope and blessings to all!
Ending with a scripture . . .
"But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Matthew 4:4
"God's Word is alive and working to produce good in my life."
Churchforall.org
Living by God's Word,
~Heather & Family~
**********************************************************************
Monday, February 26, 2007 4:21 PM EST
Hello friends,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND!
This picture is from February 2005. How I would love to go back to that time - if only for a day - to hold ALL my boys again!
Donnie's birthday was actually yesterday (Feb.25) and we celebrated at the beach with family. It was such a great day and we all had so much fun!
All is well here - we have just been going non-stop lately. Lots of adoption appts., t-ball practices, school projects to work on - just the normal chaos of LIFE! And the weekend was just as busy . . . birthday parties, going to the movies, opening ceremonies for Little League, the boys' first T-ball game and a fun day at the beach celebrating Donnie's birthday! Life is definitely BUSY - but it is all GOOD!
I've got so much to share with all of you . . . but unfortunately my time is limited today. I promise a very detailed update soon . . . But until then - I've got lots of pictures to share. :)
Ending with a scripture . . .
"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say."
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
Only by His grace,
~Heather & Family~
Sunday, February 18, 2007 4:52 PM EST
Hello friends,
Just wanted to quickly share this video from ABC News that was aired on Thursday. (click below) I'm hoping this upsets you as much as it does me . . . And I'm hoping that we can all work together to raise awareness and funds for Childhood Cancer.
We have to DO SOMETHING . . .
CANCER CUTBACKS
Praying so hard for a CURE,
~Heather & Family~
PEDIATRIC CANCER FOUNDATION
**********************************************************************
Thursday, February 15, 2007 12:08 PM EST
Hello friends,
This week has been busy and emotionally draining. Death is never easy and it is always difficult to understand all the hardships we must face in this life. Please continue your prayers for Rhonda and the boys as the services for Patrick are tonight and tomorrow. Pray for them to feel God's love in an amazing way as they face each day.
Patrick will be buried in the same cemetery as Jacob - one row back. And as someone pointed out - we will now be "neighbors" for life with the Wills Family - as Donnie, Rhonda and I have all purchased plots for ourselves, too. But I look forward to the day when we can all be together in HEAVEN! Thank you, Lord for that promise of such a beautiful place.
One of the most important things I have learned during the past couple of years is that you can't take anything for granted. Life can change in an instant . . . as I have seen happen to so many families. We can not spend our time on earth angry and bitter . . . we can't be selfish and cruel to one another. Life is too short . . . We've got to talk to God - build our faith - love one another - forgive and help others and live like tomorrow is our last day on earth! Celebrate each moment . . . Celebrate love . . . and thank God each day for all the blessings in our life.
This will have to be short - as I have so much to do today. But I wanted to share a poem someone left in the guestbook. I'm not sure who wrote it - but it is perfect. I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day with the ones you love . . . on earth and in Heaven. Please click below to read the poem.
Valentine's . . . To Heaven
Ending with a scripture . . .
"I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul."
Psalm 31:7
Rejoicing in His unfailing love,
~Heather & Family~
Monday, February 12, 2007 9:30 AM EST
Hello friends,
Life is hard, my friends. And that was quite evident last night as I watched my dear friend, Rhonda say good-bye to her husband. After a year long battle with leukemia, Patrick Wills passed away last night - leaving behind his wife and 3 young boys. He was only 38 years old. He was an amazing husband and father and I ask that you please join me in praying for the Wills Family. Pray for their boys - Tyler, Hunter and Keller. And pray for Rhonda - who loved her husband so much.
May they feel God's peace and grace in the midst of their pain. And may they find the strength to get through the days ahead . . . And may they find comfort in knowing that Patrick is no longer suffering - but is experiencing the glory of God!
Ending with a scripture . . .
"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later."
Romans 8:18
May God be with The Wills Family and hold them close and may they know how much we love them!
With tears and hope,
~Heather & Family~
*************************************************************************
Friday, February 9, 2007 6:24 PM EST
Hello friends,
Donnie took the boys to T-ball practice so I have a rare 2 hours of free-time on a Friday evening - which means I finally have time to update this week because we have been . . .
BUSY!
That's still the word that best describes our life. And this week was no different as it was full of appointments for our family - the doctor, the dentist, the vet, the hair salon, t-ball practice, several adoption appts. and all that good stuff that moms have to do. Of course I found myself grumbling at each appointment - as I sat in the waiting rooms . . . trying to figure out how a 30 minute appointment can end up taking the whole day?? Yet as soon as I start to grumble - I am quick to feel guilty because it wasn't long ago that I was unable to do these simple, everday tasks. It wasn't long ago that our life was lived within the hospital walls as we fought for Jacob's life . . . And it is then that I become thankful for being able to take my boys to the dentist and go on all these everyday appointments. Thankful that I can once again do these normal things for my kids and my family. Although - I admit that there are days I wish life wasn't so normal . . . Days when I wish I was still sitting in that hospital room - holding Jacob's hand, snuggling with him at night and laughing at his silliness . . .
Yes, some days are still such a roller coaster of emotions! Even as I sit in a waiting room - I can go from being aggravated - to guilty - to thankful - to sadness in a matter of minutes. And somehow my thoughts always end with Jacob! How I thank God each day for the six years he blessed our life!
We did have some fun this week. The Pediatric Cancer Foundation provided our family tickets to the hockey game. Believe it or not - it was our first game ever! We were invited to stay in the suite run by Brad Richards - who is one of the hockey players for the Tampa Bay Lightning. And needless to say - the boys had a blast and hockey is their new favorite sport! :) We shared the suite with other families and had a great time. Brad Richards even took time to come and meet the kids after the game and autograph their shirts. I don't have to tell you what an awesome guy we think he is! He truly does so much for the pediatric cancer community. Here are some pics from our fun night . . .
Waiting for the game to begin!
Brad Richards signing Kyle's shirt
All the kids with Brad Richards!
Samuel & Connor (Holly's Boys), Taylor & my guys.
Then Thursday morning was the Breakfast of Hope to benefit the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. Sherry, Holly and I were invited to share our stories - about how pediatric cancer has affected our lives. This is the third time we have spoken together and it is always such an emotional experience. And this was by far the biggest crowd - over 500 people were there - including several players from the Tampa Bay Bucs. But with God's grace and one amazing angel guiding my heart - I was able to get through it once again. I truly feel so passionate about raising awareness and it is always such an honor to be able to share Jacob's story. And I was thrilled to find out that the event raised over $300,000!!! How awesome is that??
Many of the doctors & nurses from the hospital were at the Breakfast - including Jacob's oncologist and his PICU doctor. It was so great to see them and hug their necks! They will always be such important people in our lives.
If you haven't done so already - I urge you to visit the PCF website and consider supporting them! They are committed to finding a cure for pediatric cancer and I am so thankful for all that they do. We need people like them who are fighting for our children . . . fighting for research . . . fighting for new treatment plans and new clinical trials. I hope to be able to share pictures from that event - so check back soon. For now, though, I will share the 2 pictures of Jacob that was used in the program at the Breakfast. They are 2 of my favorites and these pictures bring a smile to my face and tears to my eyes at the same time . . .
When Jacob took his last breath - the fight for his life was over. But the fight to find a cure for pediatric cancer is still on! There are so many other young lives that need to be saved from this devastating disease. I pray that you will stay in the fight with our family by staying involved, helping others, funding research, raising awareness, supporting PCF and praying for a cure!
Many of you have asked about the adoption . . . and we are still tackling the paperwork and waiting for our immigration approval. Once that happens - then we can get a referral. A referral means that a baby is assigned to our family and we will get pictures and a medical update. Once that happens - we still have a 6-9 month wait for all the legal proceedings in Guatemala - so it will probably be fall or winter before we travel to Guatemala to pick up our little one to bring her home for good. It is a long process - and always risky - but we feel tremendous peace with this decision. And as with everything else in our life - we will pray and FROG and trust in His perfect timing of blessing us with a little girl. And honestly - we are at peace with waiting as it is giving us priceless time with our boys! But I will be sure to share the news of a referral - and pictures -as soon as we know! Please keep praying for everything to go smoothly and pray for the birth mother.
Ending with a scripture and part of a devotion from The One Year Book of Hope . . .
"Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything."
2 Corinthians 6:10
"To experience sorrow does not eliminate joy. In fact, I've come to think that sorrow actually deepens our capacity for joy - that as our lows are lower, so are our highs higher. Deep sorrow expands our ability to feel deeply. We feel sadder than we ever knew we could, sadder than we think we can survive. But our sorrow prepares us to experience a more satisfying and solid joy than we've ever known before. When joy surfaces, it allows us to see that deep beneath the chaos and catastrophe is the strong current of confidence that we can be content in the sovereign hands of God. It's just not natural to experience profound joy in the face of heartache. It is supernatural; it is spiritual. This is the kind of joy God has for you. It is not produced by the human spirit in response to pleasant circumstances, but by the Holy Spirit in spite of difficult circumstances. It is the very joy of Christ fulfilled in us."
Nancy Guthrie
When I read this - I know that without a doubt I have seen spiritual joy in the face of my amazing son and I have felt that joy in my heart knowing that Jacob is safe in the arms of God and that I will see his beautiful face again!
Wishing you all spiritual JOY,
~Heather & Family~
**********************************************************
More prayer requests this week . . . Please support these families - pray for them or sign their guestbooks. Trust me - it does make a difference! I know that we cherish each guestbook entry and we are so thankful for all the prayers. I am always humbled by these beautiful children who fight cancer . . . they are all so amazing!
*Matty - Such an awesome little guy who is battling liver cancer and his last scans showed progression of disease.
*Katelyn - She has brain cancer and is struggling with some new symptoms.
*Alyssa - Recently diagnosed with Lymphoma.
*Patrick - He is in the hospital fighting a fungal infection in his lungs.
I've also received several prayer requests for families who have recently lost a child. Please keep supporting these families and praying for them as well . . .
~Brent ~ Lance ~ Kyle ~ Logan
Thursday, February 1, 2007 4:34 PM CST
Hello friends,
First and most importantly - I must wish my mom a very
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
(Even though she keeps telling me she's not having anymore birthdays!) :0) I can't tell you how thankful I am to have my mom living so close - she is such a blessing to us and there is no way we could have gotten through the past 3 years without her. I hope she has a most wonderful day!
We love you, Grandmom!
The last picture was taken a year ago - on my mom's birthday.
Life remains busy and the days continue to fly by - I can't believe it is already FEBRUARY. And we have a busy weekend coming up . . . T-ball practice, Jessica's Fundraiser (See flier below!) and a hockey game. Never a dull moment!
I got an e-mail this week asking me how I handle my grief so well . . . and that e-mail has been on my mind a lot this week. Am I handling "grief" well? How does one even do that??? And honestly - I don't think it is possible for anyone to handle it "well." Grief is such an emotional, personal journey and definitely can not be compared . . . every loss is different and every person is different. And believe me - there are days when the overwhelming pain of grief is truly suffocating . . . days when I feel like grief is taking over . . . days when I feel like I am NOT handling grief well at all.
And usually it is at those moments that I have to just give the GRIEF to God - pray it away and know that God will carry these burdens for me and he will refill my cup of grief with strength, grace and hope. Grief ALWAYS comes with a price - it comes with tears, it comes with heartache, it comes with sadness . . . it can bring you to your knees and cut you to the core. Grief is not to be denied - it is powerful in a very bad way - which reminds me of the following quote . . .
"Losing a loved one is like having your leg amputated. You don't get over an amputated leg. The wound may heal, but the leg will never grow back. You'll always have that absence in your life, and you'll always walk with a limp."
C.S. Lewis
But for those who believe - grief also come with HOPE. It doesn't make it an easy journey - but it makes it possible to LIVE, to be HAPPY, to KEEP GOING. It makes it possible to LAUGH and LOVE and be at PEACE in this world. It makes it possible to LET GO of the grief and LET GOD carry it for us. It makes it possible to keep walking - even with a limp!
I was looking through some old pictures of the boys . . . looking for something new to share with all of you. And I came across the following pics that immediately made me laugh out loud. Kyle was almost 3 and the boys were 8 months old and I was trying to get a picture of them for Valentine's Day to send to the grandparents. Well, as you can see - it was nearly an impossible task - trying to get 4 little boys to sit still and smile all at the same time. I was tired and sweating by the time we were done and we went through about 50 pics before getting one that was decent. Boy, what a handful they were (and some days, still are!) But thinking back on these pictures, I know that my hands were full - but so was my heart. I sure do love my boys.
Complete baby picture meltdown! I love the way Devin is looking at Brandon - who is crying!
But we finally got a decent one to treasure forever . . .
Jacob, Brandon, Devin
I am always so thankful for my pictures . . . it is my way of seeing Jacob everyday - They are priceless memories!
More prayer requests this week . . . Please support these families and keep praying for these beautiful children . . .
*Alexia - 3-yr. old who recently relapsed with ALL.
*Mackenzie - Another beautiful girl who recently relapsed with ALL
*Matthew - Recently diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma.
*Talia An adorable little girl fighting 2 different types of cancer - one of which is the same type that Jacob had. Her recent scans showed progression of disease.
*Taylor - She is been having a tough week!
*Maddie - Recently relapsed with neuroblastoma.
*Elizabeth - A sweet 6-year old who has been battling pancreatic cancer for 3 years.
Unfortunatley it seems like my prayer requests get longer each week. And it makes me so sad, so angry - especially since very little is being done for Childhood Cancer! Why does it get such little recognition?? I think it is time we all become the "squeaky wheel" and start really working together to raise awareness and raise funds for Childhood Cancer. We need to be heard . . . we need people to understand that too many kids are being diagnosed, too many kids are dying, too many kids are spending their childhood fighting for their life!
Next week, Sherry, Holly and I are speaking together again at the Breakfast of Hope for the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. PCF is really working hard to fund research and clinical trials for childhood cancer and we are so excited and honored to be a part of this event. If you are in the Tampa/St. Pete area - please consider attending . . . Get your businesses involved and help support PCF . . . help a great cause . . . help find a cure . . . help save lives!
I'm leaving you this week with pictures of my guys . . . we were trying to get a picture to put in a frame for Grandmom's birthday. Thankfully - pictures are a lot easier to take now that they are older. But I still look at my boys with such a full heart . . . 
Ending with a scripture . . .
"Pile your troubles on God's shoulders — he'll carry your load, he'll help you out."
Psalm 55:22
The Message
Letting Him carry my grief,
~Heather & Family~
Monday, January 29, 2007 9:56 AM EST
Fundraiser for Jessica Rose this weekend! Hope everyone can come out and support this beautiful little girl!
*****************************************************************
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 4:58 PM EST
Hello friends,
Another busy week . . . filled with school activities, family fun and beautiful weather! We had a great weekend - and the boys spent pretty much the entire time outside - enjoying this unbelievable spring-like weather . . . 
We went to "Dinosaur World" after church on Sunday. The boys love it . . . life-size dinos, a fossil dig and a playground . . . a boys' paradise! :)
This is what I get when I said to act scared!
Of course while at the Dinosaur Park we saw another cardinal! We still see one pretty much everywhere we go . . . reminding us that Jacob is always with us.
Yesterday, Brandon & Devin had their 1st grade program - "A Day at the Circus." Brandon was an elephant and Devin was a plate-spinning performer. Always fun to watch the little ones sing and dance! Although my guys prefer performing at home and not on stage - they get so nervous and are too funny.
I couldn't help but think about Jacob during the program . . . wondering what character he would have been, wishing that he could have been there with his brothers. And apparently I wasn't the only one who was missing Jacob . . . because Brandon hit us with some pretty hard questions last night during dinner. Completely out of the blue, Brandon said that he wished Jacob was at the program with him. And then he started bombarding us with all kinds of questions . . . questions that made our grief surface with a powerful punch . . . questions that made that pit in my stomach hurt . . . questions that brought back the tragic memories of Jacob's last days . . . questions that made it hard to breathe and hard to talk . . . questions that made our hearts ache and tears fall. But obviously these were questions that Brandon needed answered about life and death, heaven and earth, whys and hows, God and Satan, love and sadness, hope and peace. He wanted to know how Jacob died and how we knew he wasn't alive and what the doctors did and did we see his spirit go up to Heaven? Did he bleed and did he hurt? And what did they do to his body and how did he feel when we held him? The questions were endless and innocent - filled with pain and curiosity that only a 6-year old could have. Questions that are hard for us to understand ourselves and some questions that can't be answered this side of Heaven. And it confirmed what I already knew . . . the boys still think of Jacob daily and miss him so very much. But they know that Jacob is happy and free of pain now and that one day we will all be together for eternity. And they know it's okay to cry and miss him and talk about him - we all do!
The talk with Brandon made me think about the following scripture . . .
"The day you die is better than the day you are born."
Ecclesiastes 7:1
My first impulsive answer to this is "NO WAY!" How can that be?? And when I think of Jacob's birth and death - I can assure you that the day Jacob was born was a much better day than the day he died. I felt incredible happiness on the day he was born - and nothing but the weight of grief and sadness on the day he passed on to Heaven. So how can this scripture be true??
But if I step back and look at Jacob's life from HIS point of view and not mine . . . knowing all the hardships he would endure from the moment he was born . . . and then consider all the JOYS he would have from the moment of his death - then this scripture makes more sense to me. We are born into a broken world - filled with evil and always ending in death. Yet for those who believe - when we die we are "born" into Heaven - where there is no pain, no death, no evil and we can live there forever - safe in the arms of God.
So is Jacob in a "better place?" Absolutely! Heaven is by far a better place than earth. Jacob has not really died - for Jesus has conquered death! And I really like the way someone worded it in the guestbook . . . They said that Jacob is HOME and he is just waiting for us to get there. No, this life is not our home - it is just a temporary journey on our way to Heaven! A journey to give us an opportunity to serve God, to help others, to love and to learn along the way. It is a journey filled with blessings and hardships - but always a journey filled with God's love and strength.
Believing in Heaven and knowing that Jacob is completely safe and perfect in the presence of God brings us tremendous peace . . . however the sting of Jacob's absence and the pain of his loss will always be there. It lingers under the surface, behind our smiles and in our hearts. It can resurface instantly - with a memory, a picture, a song or one of Brandon's endless questions. But the pain always ends with HOPE . . . Hope that we will see Jacob again. HOPE that Jacob's pain and our grief will bring glory to God. HOPE that Gods' grace will sustain us. HOPE that we can celebrate each day. HOPE that we can comfort others. HOPE that the best is yet to come . . .
And in thinking about Jacob so much this week - I can't help but to think back to this time last year . . . we were blessed with a wonderful month with Jacob. He felt great and we took advantage of every moment by going to Disneyworld almost every weekend during the month of January!
“Life gives us brief moments with another . . . but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that last a life time...”
Author Unknown
How I thank God for so many memories to last me a lifetime . . .
Thanks so much for praying for our friends. It always weighs heavy on my heart to read about these precious children fighting so hard. Unfortunately, I have received several more prayer requests this week . . . so many kids need your thoughts and prayers! Please pray for:
*Zackary - A 4-year old recently diagnosed with ALL
*Kylie - An adorable 2 year old who has a genetic disease and is currently in the hospital battling uncontrollable seizures.
*Bella - Bella had an area of concern on her scans - so she is having further testing today - Let's all pray that it is nothing! (Bella's parents are the ones who started the wonderful organization, Habitat For Hope!
I appreciate all the e-mails and prayer requests - because I think praying is so important! Praying might not always bring the answers we want - but it brings us all closer to God and helps us through the difficult times. Before sending me a prayer request - please make sure it is okay with the family to post their website. For privacy reasons - I don't want to post anyone's website without their permission.
It has taken me all day to write this update because I've had lots of interruptions. And as I read over it now - I realize that I have written a small novel . . . didn't mean to be so long-winded today. Thanks for checking in on us . . . you will never know how much your support and encouragement has meant to our family.
Ending with a scripture . . .
"I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
Philippians 3:14
Pressing on . . . and thanking God for the heavenly prize,
~Heather & Family~
************************************************************
*Don't forget about the Breakfast of Hope on Feb. 8th!
Thursday, January 18, 2007 11:55 AM EST
Hello friends,
Unfortunately my e-mail box and guestbook have been full of prayer requests lately. Most of these children are new to me - but my heart is heavy with sadness because I know the battle ahead of them and I understand the fear, the pain, the worry and the intense LOVE we feel for our children. Please join our family in praying for these beautiful children who are truly fighting for their life. Pray for God to wrap His arms tightly around them all . . . Pray for peace, pray for comfort, pray for strength and let's all cry out to God for their HEALING! Please visit and pray for these precious little ones. . .
(I know it's hard to see on the blue background - but the names are below!)
* Baby Donovan
*Catie
*Kelly
*Mark
Have a wonderful weekend . . . and keep praying for a CURE!
Ending with a scripture . . .
"Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.”
Psalm 50:15
Calling on the Lord and giving Him all the glory,
~Heather & Family~
**********************************************************************
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 12:26 PM EST
Hello friends,
We have enjoyed a BEAUTIFUL 3-day weekend! The weather here has just been fantastic and it is this time of year that we are so thankful we live in Florida. Yes, the summers are hot - but the winters are just perfect! In fact - we actually spent the day at the beach on Saturday - enjoying the 85 degree temps! And although the water was way too cold for my liking - the boys thought it was great. We had a wonderful day together and even stayed to watch the sunset. Definitely a day that makes me realize once again that each day is a precious gift from God! And it was also a great day for pictures . . .
I saw a wonderful quote the other day . . .
"Faith is not a belief that everything will turn out to please us; rather it is the confidence that no matter how things turn out, God will somehow use the events in our days for His glory and our good."
E. Stanley Jones
I have received so many e-mails asking how our faith can remain so strong after all that we have been through - and I think this quote says it all. Faith is trusting God in all things - not just trusting God if things go our way. Faith is trusting God even if our prayers aren't answered the way we want them to be answered. Faith is knowing that God is good - ALL the time. Faith is knowing that God does not cause endless suffering - but he does give endless HOPE. Life is not an easy journey - we all have problems, heartaches and hardships. But this journey is so much easier if we can focus on Heaven and know that this life is temporary. I don't consider myself to be a strong person at all - but I know that God is strong - and if I rely on Him then He will give me the strength to get through the grief and the sad days we have missing Jacob! Everyone has the gift of strength - if they only BELIEVE!
The next couple of months will continue to be busy! We just signed the boys up for Spring T-ball and that starts the end of the month. And we are still finishing up all of our adoption paperwork - hopefully we'll be done soon so we can get a referral! (Keep praying!) And Holly, Sherry and I will be speaking again on Feb. 8th at the Breakfast of Hope for the Pediatric Cancer Foundation. The 3 of us definitely have a passion for raising awareness and raising funds for childhood cancer and we have learned some alarming facts while researching for our speeches. Did you know that:
*46 children are diagnosed with cancer each day?
*2500 children die each year from cancer?
*That it has been over 20 years since the last drug was approved for childhood cancer? Most kids are treated with adult protocols!
*That the survival rate for many types of childhood cancer is less than 25 percent? Great progress has been made for leukemia - but not much else!
*Only 3 percent of the budget from the National Cancer Institute goes towards Pediatric Cancer Research?
I am so thankful to the Pediatric Cancer Foundation - for they are truly doing so much for childhood cancer! What a blessing they are to so many families as they continue to give HOPE with their research funds! Also several of you have asked how much was raised at the golf tournament in honor of Jacob . . . and it has been hard to get a grand total because donations are still coming in! But last I heard - they thought the total was around $55,000! All of the money went to PCF - and will hopefully go towards finding a CURE! And Enterprise and the PCF are already planning on making next year and even bigger event! :)
I want to ask you all to join me in praying for another little one who was recently diagnosed with cancer. She lives in our neighborhood and is 4 years old. She was diagnosed in Dec. with neuroblastoma. I had the pleasure of meeting her and she is precious! And I was so glad to be able to share some of the goodies from Jacob's Stocking with this family. (Thank you once again for helping me help others with your wonderful donations!) 
Please visit Jessica Rose and pray for her!
Thanks so much for checking on us and continuing to pray for our family! It truly means so much to all of us! The friends we have made on this journey are PRICELESS!
Ending with a scripture that makes me think of HEAVEN . . .
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1
Filled with faith,
~Heather & Family~
***************************************************************************
Thanks for all the comments about the Naked Cowboy pics. Devin is quite the character! And I'll definitely be saving that picture . . . it's a great one to show his 1st girlfriend! A little payback for all those gray hairs!! :0) But I am so thankful for each of my boys and for all the JOY they bring in my life. They are always the bright spot in my day.
Monday, January 8, 2007 10:56 AM EST
Hello friends,
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday! As for us - things were definitely different this year - yet we were still able to celebrate the season and make it a magical time for the boys. And I found that Christmas wasn't really any harder than any other day . . . We are attacked by moments of sadness many times during the week - and Christmas was no different. Thank goodness for our wonderful memories of last Christmas with Jacob - for they brought us many smiles through the tears. And it brought us much comfort to know that Jacob was celebrating the season with Jesus! Can you only imagine the celebration in Heaven??
Of course, the boys brought us much joy - in the midst of our pain of missing Jacob. It is hard to stay sad for long with all of their silly antics! And I did not want to make this a sad time for them. As I've said before - happiness is a choice that I make everyday for my children. And I find that the more I make that choice - the easier it is to do. They had a great time on our trip - hiking in the woods in Virginia and playing with all of their cousins. It was a wonderful time with family and we are so glad we were able to spend the time together. Our trip ended all too soon! We are now home and our house is back to normal with all Christmas decorations put away and the boys back in school.
With the start of a new year - I have reflected a lot on 2006. Definitely the hardest year of my life and not one that I would ever want to relive again. But I think I have learned more during the past year than I have in a lifetime. Lessons learned from my amazing son . . . lessons that I hope to continue in the New Year. He taught me to:
walk in faith
never give up
celebrate life
help others
and always pray, hope, believe & FROG!
I watched Jacob live his life this way - despite all that he was up against. Surely if he can do it - then I can continue to do so, too, despite my grief. Another thing I have learned this year is that there is always HOPE. No matter how bad things seem - there is always hope in Jesus!
I have to share a picture from last New Year's . . . dancing the night away! It's hard to believe that was one short year ago! How I miss Jacob so much . . .
And as we welcome in the new year, I pray that 2007 will have more blessings than hardships. And I pray that it will be a year of good health and healing for our hearts. We are also hoping that 2007 is the year that we welcome a daughter into our family! Our adoption paperwork is coming along smoothly and if all goes well - we could have a referral by March. Of course - the world of international adoption is never predictable - so things can always change! But we are excited at the possibility and continue to pray that all goes well. Please join us in praying for the birth mother. It is amazing to think that there is a woman in Guatemala who is pregnant with our future daughter. Pray for this mother to take care of herself and pray for a healthy baby. I find myself thinking of her often and praying . . . I am already so grateful for this gift of life she will give us.
I also know that I really would like to get Jacob's journal published this year! I am not interested in making money - but I am interested in sharing his story. I have looked into several self-publishing companies and hope to start that project soon! And I hope to be able to share it with all of you - who have so faithfully followed Jacob's site and supported us along the way.
And I must once again thank you all for supporting Jacob's Stocking this holiday season! Words can not even begin to describe how this project has touched my heart. It is overwhelming at times to know that Jacob continues to touch lives and inspire people around the world. I literally sat in tears as I opened all the packages and envelopes and read all of your cards and notes about Jacob. For me, as a mother who has lost her child - it is such a wonderful feeling to know that Jacob is remembered, loved and missed so much by all of you! It makes me smile, it makes me cry, it makes me so proud of the little person Jacob was, and it makes me so thankful and grateful for all of your support! Truly - I am honored to have you travel this journey with us and I thank God for all of you who have blessed our lives abundantly! And I must send out a very special thank you to all of our Caringbridge friends who sent in donations. I was especially touched by your donation since many of you are going through such hard times yourself. I am always in awe of such kindness and generosity. Also - many have asked if you can still send in a donation - and of course you can! Jacob's stocking has been put away for another year - but there are always families out there who could use a little cheer! For those of you who missed it - I am including the THANK YOU smilebox again for all who participated in Jacob's Stocking!
Before I go, I just had to share the pics of Devin from this week! He was pretending to be The Naked Cowboy - thank goodness he kept his jeans on! We saw The Naked Cowboy in Times Square when we were in NYC - and they thought he was hilarious. Can you tell that Devin's the one that's going to make my hair go gray??? Yet - this is also another example of how they can always make me smile when I'm having a sad day! 
Ending with a scripture that describes my feelings so perfectly . . .
"The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction."
Lamentations 3:19-22
"The memory of hope is as vivid as the memory of pain. What could have made him dare to hope? What could possibly give you the courage and confidence to have hope in the midst of your bitter suffering? Remembering the love of God."
From The One Year Book of Hope
By Nancy Guthrie
(I've been reading this book - and I love it! Definitely gives hope to all who need it!)
Remembering God's love,
~Heather & Family~
******************************************************************
I know that I was terrible this past year about answering e-mails! I hope to get a little better this year as our lives return to what is now our new "normal." Please know that I appreciate each note from you! Hopefully I can get a little better at my time-management in the new year!
Wednesday, January 3, 2007 10:27 AM EST
Hello friends,
We are home and the boys are back in school this morning - much to their dismay! We had a wonderful, relaxing trip and a good Christmas - but I was so very sad to learn that 2 of our caringbridge friends passed onto Heaven while we were gone. Please keep the families of
Brent and Lance
in your prayers. Losing these sweet children is always so hard . . . we will never understand why these terrible things happen. But I am so thankful that they are now completely healed and perfect - safe forever in the arms of God.
Ending with a scripture that is so perfect today with so much loss . . .
"For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow."
Lamentations 3:31-33 NLT
I have much to share with all of you - but I'll update more later. We missed Jacob with every breath - but were able to celebrate with hope and happiness by the grace of God! And we definitely felt one amazing angel shining brightly down on all of us.
May your New Year be filled with good health, happiness, hope, love & God's blessings!
Praying for our friends,
~Heather & Family~
Saturday, December 30, 2006 9:54 PM EST
Hello friends,
Happy New Year!
We are on the road - in the van traveling from Virginia to Atlanta where we will welcome in the New Year with Donnie’s family - lots of aunts, uncles and about 15 cousins - all under the age of 12! Should be tons of fun for the boys and mass chaos for all the adults! But we are looking forward to it!
We have had an amazing trip so far - the weather has been perfect and we have enjoyed spending time with family. We hope to be home on the 1st and the boys are back in school on the 3rd. So I’ll update more after we get settled back home - and I’ve got lots of pictures to share!
Ending with a scripture . . .
“God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you're ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done.”
2 Corinthians 9:8
The Message
So thankful for God’s blessings,
~Heather & Family~
Saturday, December 23, 2006 11:10 PM EST
Hello friends,
I have been so touched with the overwhelming response to "JACOB'S STOCKING" that it has brought me to tears on more than one occasion. And this project has truly helped us remember and honor our son in the most amazing way. It has helped us share his giving spirit and his love for everyone. And we are so excited to be able to reach out and help other children and families with over 100 books and 100 gift cards that we have received! And what was even more special to us were all the kind notes and letters about Jacob. You have blessed us so much with your kindness - thank you so much for reaching out to us and touching our hearts forever.
For all of you who have donated and helped us fill Jacob's Stocking this year - please click on the "View Smilebox" below. And know that you not only overflowed Jacob's Stocking this year - but you also overflowed our hearts! We are so grateful!
Big hugs, much love and God's blessings to all of you!
With a grateful heart,
~Heather & Family~
**********************************************************
Friday, December 22, 2006 9:34 AM EST
Hello friends,
Happy Holidays!
I can't believe it is only 3 days till Christmas . . . how did that happen?? I need at least another week - Christmas is coming way too fast! But we have been busy - embracing this season and enjoying every minute of it . . .
Donnie & I went a Christmas party Saturday night for his work . . .
We also had the privilege of helping our church deliver presents to families that were adopted for Christmas. Truly a humbling and wonderful experience to be able to help these families!
The boys are out of school and I have been enjoying my time with them tremendously - watching Christmas movies, baking cookies, going shopping, wrapping presents, and visiting Santa . . . 
So we have been busy - but we just love this time of year!
Of course things are definitely different this year . . . different in such a BITTERSWEET way. Different because we all miss Jacob so much. He loved this time of year and was always so excited. But as much as we miss him - I know that he is still here with us. He is in the twinkle in Devin's eyes, in Kyle's smile and in Brandon's silliness. He is shining in every Christmas light and singing in every song. He is in every present we give. He is in every cardinal in our backyard and every frog hopping on our porch. He is in every hug . . . and he is forever in my heart - always loved. So even though my heart aches without his physical presence - I find myself smiling because I know his spirit lives on - all around me.
I'd like to share a Christmas song - that I LOVE! I tried hard to put it on the site - but was so disappointed when I couldn't get it to work! But this song fits my life and the season so well. It is a beautiful song - and the words are perfect . . .
The Christmas Hope
By Newsong
Her wish this Christmas
Was that Christmas would just pass her by
Nothing could reach her
Or answer her questions why
She feels so alone
And she wonders if all hope is gone
Chorus
Hope is a candle
A light in the window
Showing the way for
A heart to come home
Hope is a Savior
Who was born in the manger
Sent down from Heaven
To rescue our hearts
Our Christmas hope
She never imagined
That for her there was hope to find
But isn't it amazing
How God brings a heart back to life
She's smiling now she's finding out
What Christmas hope is all about
Hope is a present
A gift freely given
To all who receive
And open their hearts
Hope is a promise
For a better tomorrow
In a world filled with sorrow
We always have hope
Our Christmas hope
Our Christmas hope
As I think about this time of year - I realize that HOPE came with the birth of Christ. Hope that we will be forgiven for our sins . . . Hope for salvation . . . Hope for eternal life with God . . . Hope that we will see Jacob again. And I thank God for that precious gift that came to all of us in a manger . . . The gift of our Saviour.
The rest of the week will be busy! We have a Gingerbread House to make . . . We are going to Christmas Lane - which is a beautiful light display . . . We are going to see "The Nativity Story" movie . . . and we are going to church on Christmas Eve. We will celebrate Christmas at our house with our family and then we are leaving the 26th to head to Virginia to celebrate Christmas with Donnie's family. So needless to say - the boys are WILD with excitement! And I'm just looking forward to spending time with my family . . . I love it when we can all be home together!
At this time of year - I am so thankful for all of you who have supported and encouraged our family. You have blessed us in so many ways with your prayers, guestbook entries and e-mails - and I continue to be in awe of your generosity and kindness. We thank God for sending us all of YOU. And I must thank you once again for the amazing response to "Jacob's Stocking." Gift cards and books are still coming in . . . and it always brings a smile to my face to be able to put these things in Jacob's stocking!
Also - I ask that you please keep all of our friends in your prayers. I know all too well that it is difficult to celebrate the holidays when a loved one is sick . . . or if a loved one has passed on to Heaven. Please pray for everyone to have comfort and joy, peace and love this Christmas.
Ending with a scripture . . .
"But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Luke 2:10-12
"Hope came down dressed as a child," the minister said. "That Hope is the greatest gift the world has ever known. This child taught us how to love and forgive. God can use anybody or anything," the minister said. "Don't ever underestimate who or what He'll use to get something done. But the choice to believe that is always yours to make."
From The Christmas Hope
By Donna VanLiere
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a blessed New Year. May you all remember the magic and the meaning of the season . . . and BELIEVE!
Much love and many FROGs!
May God bless you all!
Believing . . . with hope,
~Heather & Family~
Friday, December 15, 2006 10:16 AM EST
Hello friends,
Just a quick note to let you know that our church is having a Prayer Vigil tonight at 9pm for
TAYLOR and PATRICK.
Please join us in prayer tonight . . . praying for comfort, peace and healing! Stop by and let them know you care.
Also - many of you have asked how we made snow . . . . I actually bought "snow powder" at the mall. It is easy, fun and so very cool to watch it turn into SNOW! Here's a website that sells the powder and explains how it works . . . SNOW POWDER
Ending today with another music video by Steven Curtis Chapman that someone sent me. It is a Christmas song about adoption . . . and it definitely pulls at the heart! Just be warned that you may find yourself wanting to adopt after hearing this beautiful song . . . "All I Want For Christmas."
Ending with a scripture that fits the season . . . I love this one.
"The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith."
1 Timothy 1:5
Many thanks again for all the donations coming in for "Jacob's Stocking." This has been an amazing project - and has definitely helped heal our hearts this Christmas!
Much love to all of you,
~Heather & Family~
*************************************************************************
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 10:22 AM EST
Hello friends,
Just wanted to thank you so much for the wonderful response to Jacob's Stocking! (Scroll down to the Dec. 8 update for details if you missed it!) Your kindness and generosity continue to amaze and inspire me. And I can't tell you what a wonderful feeling it is to know that Jacob's stocking will indeed be full this Christmas! It will be filled with love and kindness that will be shared with others! Thanks so much for caring about our family and remembering our amazing son. It is truly helping us get through this holiday season by honoring Jacob and helping others. I'd like to share a Christmas song that reminds me of all of YOU! It is a beautiful song - one of my favorites.
Season of Love
By Jaci Velasquez
"Where a prayer could be enough
Our hands open up and give a little
more
Crowded hearts make room
Kindness falls like the snow
Tenderness like a row of dominoes
Chorus
Season of love
A chance to shine in the darkness
To be hope, to give joy
All over the world it's Christmas
The season of love
Christ is here with us
In our hearts, through our hands
Love is the season
Holy infant Son of God
You are the light inside of every one
of us
Miracle on earth
We see your star, feel your peace
You are why this will always be the...
Love is the season
We have another busy week getting ready for the holidays - so I'll update more later. But I'll leave you with a couple of pics . . .
Since we live in Florida - we have to make our own snow!
Which is too much fun!
Ending with a scripture . . .
"Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart."
Proverbs 3:3
So thankful for your kindness during this Season of Love,
~Heather & Family~
***********************************************************************
Friday, December 8, 2006 9:35 AM EST
Dear Friends, Family & Prayer Warriors,
First and foremost - I want to ask you to please pray for 3 very special friends of ours!
Taylor
Brent
Patrick
They are all having such a hard time right now so please join me in lifting them in prayer and asking God to wrap His peace, comfort and healing around them. Pray that they are being held . . .
Also - I wanted to share with you a fundraising idea called
Jacob's Stocking
I went shopping with Sherry & Holly yesterday and we all talked about what to do with the stockings of our angels. Do we still hang them?? Well - after discussing it with the boys - our family decided that we would definitely hang Jacob's stocking - just like we always have. However - the fact that it will remain empty on Christmas morning makes my heart ache.
But I got an e-mail from Sherry this morning - and she had a brilliant idea in the middle of the night! She suggested that Holly and I start a stocking project with her . . . A way to fill our children's stockings and help others at the same time. We are all asking for donations of gift cards or children's books. These gift cards will be used to help families battling cancer - and the books will be donated to the Children's Hospital. Gift cards were one of the most useful items we received - and I would love to be able to help others as we were helped so often. So I am asking that you help me fill Jacob's stocking this year by sending him a present - a gift card or a book! Gift cards can be in any amount to anyplace! Some gift card ideas are:
Grocery store (Publix and Sweetbay are most popular here in Florida),
Gas station
Restaurant
Wal-Mart/Target
Home Depot/Lowes
Toy store
Visa or American Express Gift Card
Phone Card
Sherry, Holly and I will put these gift cards together and throughout the year - we will make sure that these cards go towards helping others! Jacob had such a giving heart. He was always thinking of others and wanting to help and I know that this project would honor him in the most special way. So if you would like to help me fill