|
CASSIDY'S CORNER 
An amazing journey began when Cassidy was diagnosed w/ Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus three months before she was born. It has taken us places we never thought we would go....but we are so happy to be here!! Join us to watch Cassidy blossom and grow as she becomes all that God wants her to be. We will update her journal and post new pictures every couple months. Come share in the joy of our sweet blessing....
Cassidy's Story (first three years) is at: http://www.geocities.com/cassies_site
Journal
Friday, September 14, 2007 0:04 AM CDT My baby is 9 years old!!
VERY hard to believe that it's already been that long.
But then again, it feels like Cassidy has been a part of me forever.
What would I do without this child in my life? Who would I be if I wasn't Cassidy's mom? It's hard to even imagine......
Not be who I am now? Not know what I've learned?
Not experience what this mysterious path --off the well-traveled road-- had to offer?
Not know the amazing people we've met the last 9 years? Not seen the beauty and miracles along the way? I can't fathom missing out on those opportunities!
It's been the hardest thing I've ever done....but also the best thing that I've ever done.
My eyes have been opened now.....to so many sad people 'out there' who are searching for their purpose in life....unknowingly, in the wrong directions.
But here's the beauty that is almost impossible for them to see......
THAT is what I was GIVEN......that is what I was lovingly HANDED.
My purpose. My reason.
A soft, warm GIFT that needed everything I could give her.
In her dire need, my daughter has shown me what I need. And where to get it....
I needed her....... as desperately as she needs me.
I need God....... as desperately as she needs me.
It is overwhelming at times.....
She needs me........ to protect, to advocate, to filter, to listen, to laugh, to be patient, to decide, to plan, to solve, to care, to research, to guide, to explain, to remember, to watch, to pray, to balance, to dream, to validate, to prepare, to carry, to discipline, to smile, to hug, to help, to hope, to teach, to relax, to cuddle, to lift up, to love unconditionally, to steady, to wipe tears, to remind, to anticipate hurdles ahead, to spend time, to see the positive........and to DO the many daily things that need to be done to keep her healthy and growing!
She also needs me to challenge her.......gently push her out of the safe place that she would love to stay forever......to learn how to fly on her own!
He's doing the same with me!!
I’ve been forced out of my ‘comfort zone’ and been asked to do things that I never imagined I could do. To go places…I would never have gone before. Get to know people… I had never felt comfortable around before.
Cassidy has always needed COMFORTING from me......and instead of that becoming less of a need as she gets older, lately that need has increased. She seems to need that safe haven in the midst of a world that involves some pain at times, people's stares....and frustration in her mind as she struggles to learn. Answers to many questions, a hand outstretched, constant assurances about the future…..a stable presence.
I've found that COMFORT is very hard to give unless my own heart is comforted-- by Him....who can see the bigger picture, the perspective, the purpose, the reason and the hope!
I can't give, what I don't have.
I am her comfort.....He is mine.
She needs a safe haven...a place where she is loved and accepted unconditionally. Where she is perfect when she crawls, wears a diaper, cries in frustration or struggles to find a word.
He is MY safe haven. A shoulder to cry on….a lap to crawl into…peace on the journey.
She looks to me for answers to life's tough questions....
I have NO choice, but to look above her searching eyes.... to Him....who holds the answers.
She needs me to steady her, balance her, and catch her when she falls. And then to pick her up, dust her off and wrap up skinned elbows, bruised knees or a hurting heart.
She needs me to laugh in the face of fear and to see the rainbow in every storm.
I need all these same things. I need them desperately.
So, yes. A little blonde, blue-eyed girl taught me to recognize my own need.
And then, the One who made her, revealed Himself to me. The answer to all of OUR needs.
As I carry her....He carries me.
When she reaches out for my hand, His is already outstretched to mine.
When we cry....He is there. We are not alone.
It's become an automatic reflex...she and I......me and Him.
The path ahead is still uncertain and it winds around turns ahead that I cannot see around.
But mysteriously, it's not so scary anymore. 'Cause I know He's already walked it and knows what lies ahead.
He will guide us each step of the way and give us the next rock to stand on in the midst of the rushing stream.
He will provide the next soft place to lay our tired heads.
He will meet our needs and ultimately, my daughter WILL be healed in Heaven someday....
…….and we'll live the rest of forever, marveling at what we were taught here on this place called Earth.
This gift is NOT a burden, but a blessing that will continue forever......
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love you Cassidy! I am so thankful that I was chosen to be your Mom!!
YOU are MY present!
9/9/2007
"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen" - from the Winnie-the-Pooh print that has always hung above your bed!
******************************
Yes, the adventure continues!
A few bullet-points of the last 5 months:
*We had a FUN summer with lots of camping and play-dates!
*Cassidy relishes time with her favorite people - Hannah and Tiffany!!
*A new measure of anxiety came upon Cassidy in May and has stuck around. Please pray with us for peace in her spirit and that she learns to give her worries to God.
*Cassidy is working hard on her reading with a great new tutor. We're going back to the basics!
*God did give me peace and total confirmation that homeschooling would be the best thing for her this year.
*We're both transitioning into our new schedule and this new 'dynamic' in our relationship.
*I'll admit I'm a bit overwhelmed, but I really do KNOW that it will work out and I will treasure this extra time I get with her.
*Cassidy loves: Highschool Musical movies and songs, Full House, Littlest Pet Shop, playing 'house' and dolls, watching 'A Baby Story' and reality-themed medical shows, Little House on the Prairie, eating Cheetos and "choco" cereal, dressing up, singing, being mom's little shadow, AND we often overhear her playing the role of 'doctor/nurse' or 'teacher/tutor/therapist' with her dolls!!
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!
Read Journal History
Links: http://www.geocities.com/cassies_site Cassidy's Story (from birth - 3 yrs. old)
http://www.cvJuicePlus.com Juice Plus+....one of the reasons Cassidy is so healthy!
|
|
