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Gerry Kimes' Site This site was created so that our friends, family, and anyone who cares could check our progress as we traveled this strange path called brain cancer.
On July 19th, 2002, Gerry was diagnosed with a brain tumor. A biopsy revealed that the very large, very infiltrated and inoperable mass was a gliomatosis cerebri, which is a type of astrocytoma.
Gerry was an otherwise healthy, 33 year old husband and father of three boys, ages 4, 6, and 8. During a valiant battle that lasted almost two years, the tumor transformed into the very worst kind possible, a glioblastoma multiforme (GBM). Gerry fought long and hard, and kept his promise never to give up. In the end, he didn't give up, but his body gave out as the tumor overtook his brain. Gerry died on the morning of June 9,2004, having turned 35 years old in the hospital before coming home to wait for peace. Our boys are now 6, 8, and 10 years old, and they struggle daily to come to grips with all that has happened.
I, Laura, will continue the site for now, because it is good therapy for me. Thank you for still checking it, and for sending me guestbook messages from time to time.
Love and blessings,
Laura
A note from Gerry's brother, John Paul:
** We have established a scholarship fund to take care of the boys' educational needs. This fund will serve as a general account for any donations to the family. In lieu of flowers, help us to honor Gerry's memory by caring for the boys. Donations can be sent to
The Kimes Scholarship Fund
c/o Kassouf and Company
2208 University Blvd
Birmingham, AL 35233
Alternately, for anyone who would like to make donations through the internet, please go to
www.KimesFund.com
For the past two years, you have overwhelmed Gerry, Laura, the boys, and our entire family with your amazing support through countless hours of prayer, endless acts of generosity, and untold kindness and love. Please know that you have been, are, and will be always in our prayers.
John Paul Kimes
Journal
Thursday, June 9, 2005 9:53 AM CDT Dear Friends and Family,
I don't know if anyone still checks this site periodically, but, just in case someone does, and just in case you are wondering how we are doing, I'll give a one year update.
Well we've managed to survive the dreaded "first year". We've had the first of all the regular holidays and annual events. In a way, though, some of the "firsts" seem to still lie ahead of us. Although I have technically had my first wedding anniversary without Gerry it was only five days after his death, so it is all somewhat hazy. The same applies to Father's Day. It happened immediately when we were all still in a fog.
There are, of course, all the "firsts" which aren't annual which haven't yet happened. There are all manner of important events and milestones to come in the lives of my children - things Gerry won't be here to share with them. For example, the boys went away to Summer Camp last year for the first time. They went to the camp that Gerry always loved, the one where he spent the summers of his youth. He always fondly told stories of his times there. My boys had a great time there. But we all felt Gerry's absence profoundly.
Today we are having another first. In memory of Gerry, Giddie and I have taken the boys deep sea fishing for the first time. Ger loved to go deep sea fishing, and it is something he definitely wanted to do with Zak, Jacob and Patrick. It seemed a fitting way to spend the day.
Overall, I think we've done all right this year. The kids all had a good year in school. They all seem to have been able to thrive this year, balancing their sadness with their happy memories and with kids' natural ability to just get on with the business of being kids. We talk of Gerry often just in natural conversation. I mention his likes or dislikes ("Your Dad loved that"), things he used to say ("You know what Daddy always said about that, don't you?"), or ways they remind me of him("You are just like your Dad the way you..."). The subject of Ger is not taboo. Nor is he artificially injected into every possible conversation or situation. We simply keep him a part of our daily lives in a casual, comfortable natural way. It is not that we never get sad, because we do. We talk about that, too. But we don't dwell on the sad parts nor let them dominate us.
As this day has approached, I have thought a lot about this time last year. It was such a hard, intense time for us. It has been hard to figure out what to do today that would be appropriate, or feel right to us. It didn't seem right to be sitting around at home looking at the walls. It also didn't seem right to just treat it like any other day or ignore it - not for the boys and me anyway. We needed to do something - nothing sad or too ceremonial, something meaningful but not contrived. Often, for me, I don't know what is going to be right until it is too late. I can try to do what I think will feel right, but until I am in the moment, I don't know if I have guessed correctly. Through the wonders of modern technology and the help of a friend I was able to send this message while sitting on a fishing boat in Gulf Shores, Alabama. I can tell you this time, I am pretty sure I have guessed correctly. I don't know if we will do this annually. We don't pressure ourselves to figure everything out all at once. We'll see what seems right to us when next year comes.
For now, I can tell you it has been a hard year. In some ways, not as hard as the one before it and in many ways harder. We have all changed, grown these last couple of years. It would be impossible not to be changed and shaped by this experience. I can also say now, though, with a large degree of confidence, that we are going to be all right.
Love and Blessings,
Laura
Read past journal entries
Hospital Information: University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB)
Links:
http//vwsupply.com Gerry's Wonderful Employers
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