History

Saturday, August 9, 2008 09:41 AM CAT

My God! The year has flown and I have not updated this site for months – so to fill you in briefly…..I am back on the Tarceva oral medication as my scan in May showed some cancer activity in my other lung. My skin is once again extremely dry and flakey and my face is blotchy and pimply and adolescent but that seems to be the worst of it.

At the end of May I had one of my abnormal parathyroids removed so now I sport a scar in the crease of my neck – but the good news is that my energy seems to have increased so much so that I was able to do the WALK THE TALK 7km walk this year with the boys and Mark and our dog Lucky in tow. I bought new cross trainer shoes for the occasion and was marveling how comfy they were until Monday morning when I woke up with an excruciating pain in my left big toe – off to the podiatrist who said it was an ingrown toenail. He then proceeded to inject my toe with a local anaesthetic which had me in more pain then anything my cancer has ever presented. Anyway all is on the mend and tonight I was finally able to put my boot on – more presentable than wearing old open sandals for the comfort factor.

The weather has been wonderful and mild – my endocrinologist says that I am very Vitamin D -deficient even though I have been taking supplements so I have to sit in the sun for half an hour each day –avoiding my blotchy face of course which I certainly don’t want permanently tanned and scarred.

Sam and Joe have gone off on a 4 day school tour to Mpumulanga so Mark and I have been going on dates – cheap ones actually! Tonight we went to an early show of a Lebanese movie called CARAMEL which is quite delightful, followed by dinner at a Mediterranean restaurant – my food had so much chilli in it that I absolutely had to have dessert – of course I chose the crème caramel to see if was as good as mine!

I have been working again – did a week’s work in mid-May in north western rural Mozambique for ActionAid, (see picture - this is when I crossed the Zambezi by motorbike to Mutarara), and will be doing more work for them later this month in Orange Farm close to Johannesburg. In early September I will be flying to Amsterdam to work for Kessels & Smit – the organization that Mark works with – they have their international AGM and need me to come and photograph 50 of their consultants for their new design website – I told them it would be cheaper for them to get someone local but for some reason they want ME so they have sent me a ticket, will pay for all my accommodation and even pay me for 3 days work – and I get to see my dear friend Sue Speyer and her family who live outside Amsterdam too.

And in between all this I am arranging the boykies bnei Mitzvah which will take place on the 29th November. So looking forward to having family visit from the US, UK, France.

13th May 2008 08.05 AM CAT

Breaking News - Gisele on assignment for ActionAid in Mutarara, Mozambique ...

HIPPY BARTHDAY GISELE!!

Breaking News Update

Gisele's recent scan results show no spread beyond her lungs and relatively stable disease - good news as she approaches the 3rd anniversary of her diagnosis!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 10:11 AM CAT

HEALTH UPDATE

Apart from a sinus infection upon arrival in Atlanta via London in late November, which went to my lungs and made me congested and snotty with a wet cough, not too much else to report.

After the batmitzvah celebrations in early December, sister D accompanied me to Duke University Medical Center in Raleigh NC to consult with an oncologist who specializes in lung cancer in women. I had sent her all my reports beforehand so she was quite ready for me – even though we waited 3 hours to see her…… she finally breezed into the consulting room where D and I had spent our time doing a crossword puzzle. She sat opposite me, placed her hand on my knee and through her bright, funky turquoise glasses looked me straight in the eye – she said that I am very lucky to have what appears to be a slow-growing tumour – most people with my diagnosis don’t survive beyond 6 months and here I am heading for 3 years! She said I must treat my cancer as a chronic illness, have a chest ct scan every 3 months, a brain MRI every 6 months and GET ON WITH MY LIFE AND ENJOY IT! My next scan is at the end of this month so will post a short update then.

She then suggested I clear my sinuses using a Neti pot (Google to find out more) which is far more effective than antibiotics, and she put me on a one week’s course of steroids – YIKES! – I warned all about my imminent mood swings, didn’t sleep the night of my first dose and ate like a horse. She gave me her e-mail address and is more than happy to be in touch with my new oncologist who in turn is agreeable to being in touch with her – YAY!

So I am feeling quite relieved and trying very hard to LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE ….. which isn’t very easy coming back to SA – with weeks of non-stop rain, power cuts of 2 hours at a time twice a day. This is due to major incompetence of the government not implementing plans for new power stations to deal with the impending problem – a situation they were presented with 10 years ago…. and trying to settle the boys back into their school/homework/barmitzvah prep routine.

I can’t believe what happened. For 3 days last week I felt weird and dizzy….I was fine when I was stationary but when I moved my head I felt dizzy and unfocussed. Could this be a middle ear infection? Could this be a flu bug I picked up on the way back from London? Could this be some cancer-related brain stuff? Couldn’t quite work it out so …..spent much of the time sleeping which my body clearly needed and the family respected.

I also decided not to go to the doc until Monday in case it was a passing bug - cancelled Friday night dinner at home even though I had bought all the food…and then suddenly on Sunday evening I realized that I hadn’t been taking my antidepressant medication for a few days… Problem solved! Whilst traveling it was part of my evening 7-day pill box but once back home seems I forgot to add it to the box and subconsciously went back to my pre-trip regime – i.e. taking it on its own in the kitchen before supper…except I had forgotten to put the pills in the kitchen where they used to be.

THE FABULOUS BATMITZVAH OF ALIYA SAULSON

The batmitzvah was fabulous, fun and stylish and it was wonderful although too short a time, to reconnect with all the cousins, family and friends who gathered for the occasion – I don’t think I completed a single sentence for the 48 hours that celebrations took place – I was either too busy taking pictures or eating I guess – lots of load-shedding to do right now so its back to Weight Watchers. Diane and Scott really put on a special event that included a Friday night service followed by dinner at their home, a Saturday morning tea at their home with melktert and scones made by a South African who lives in Atlanta – sadly though not half as good or tasty as the tuisgebakte ones we get in SA – I think it’s the American flour that’s different?

Then there was the evening Havdallah service at the Temple which Aliya conducted mostly followed by more delish food followed by a dinner dance in the Temple hall – I was quite sceptical about how the disco would turn out considering that darling sista D told me she had given most of the music to the DJ – some Salsa, some Israeli music, French music, Misrachi music-but indeed it all worked so well – everyone got up to dance although the latino guests of course put me to shame with their fabulous gyrating moves.

The DJ did in fact slip in a few hip hop tracks which my boys loved.

PARENT ABUSE IN ORLANDO FL.

Been there and done that and swore never to return but who is perfect? Diane very generously organized a week’s time share for 8 of us at a top resort outside Disney World, Orlando. I warned the boys ahead of time that I would not have the energy to do more than two theme parks – Kennedy Space Center was brilliant and Universal Studios mediocre – but Auntie Sue and Auntie Paola kindly offered to take the boys to The Magic Kingdom whilst D and I chilled by the pool – at least I thought one could chill by the pool but this was clearly not what the resort had in mind. Wherever you go except of course in your own unit, you are followed by piped music – oh yes! Every shrub seems to be fitted with a mighty but tiny speaker lest you should move one metre away and not be able to hear Jingle Bells. Hell!

But of course one of the highlights was seeing Robyn Solomon who had jetted in from Sydney via Toronto to meet up with her family from SA and New Zealand – they were staying at the same resort and so we had about 2 hours to connect-with her brightly painted orange toe nails……it seemed like we had never been so far apart!

CHILLIN OUT IN CAMBRIDGE

As our BA plane from Atlanta landed at Gatwick we were surrounded by about 6 fire engines – was this the norm? But just before the doors opened the pilot made an announcement before we all disembarked – the plane had a flat tyre as we left Atlanta and that’s why our safe landing was a sort of miracle…but in case it wasn’t…lots of fire engines to douse the flames…nice one!

Mark was there to meet us and drive us through the frozen and bleak countryside to begin our 2-week chillout at his parents/my parents-in-laws, Colin and Monique’s home. Late mornings, early nights and lots of reading – all meals prepared by Monique and Colin although I did make the odd salad and a crème caramel too. The boys got on famously with their grandparents and thoroughly enjoyed the brief visit from the French Turpins who came over from Bordeaux followed by the Oxford Turpins and then the Dublin/Bordeaux Turpins, Jack and his dad Paul.

It was very very cold and not being used to light disappearing at 3.45pm…I felt compelled to do at least one thing in the earlier part of the day before it was snatched by darkness.

BACK HOME

Our darling Lucky puppy dog missed us madly – he felt so deserted by us for 5 weeks that upon our return, he started nipping our ankles – as the days turn into weeks he has come to re-trust us and is now very happy indeed – he makes the boys smile before going to school in the mornings and provided I have Lucks with me when I pick them up later……they smile again at the cutest Daschund this side of the Rhine.

It’s going to be a busy year for us – firstly Mark and I have to find a suitable high school for the boys to attend from 2009 (they are in their last year at primary). Their joint barmitzvah will be at the end of November – so its lessons and regular shul attendance – I have encouraged them to go this route so I am part of the process – 3 hours in shul on Saturday morning confirms this.

Monday, September 24, 2007 8:34 PM CAT

UPDATE
The picture above was taken recently at my friend/colleague Suzi Bernstein’s photo exhibition at Killarney Mall –during the early stages of my illness I asked her to document some of the issues I was facing like hair loss etc- Please note that the ginger color of my now fluffy hair is the result of vegetable dye gone wrong – and it wasn’t a cheap home job either……never trust the color swatch that the trendy hairdresser shows you!

Apologies for the long silence. A few months ago a ct chest scan and Petscan revealed that I had become resistant to my oral medication which had worked so well for many months….. I felt paralysed by this news and was thrown into limbo. My tumor started growing again and even though I always knew that Tarceva would be “the drug” for me - until such time that there was tumor growth – it still came as a huge shock.

After much deliberation as to whether I get the next batch of treatment (radiation) in the US, Cape Town or in JHB - it was finally decided JHB! I started 3D conformal radiation treatment in early August and complete my 30 days on the 17th September. I drove mostly on my own every day to the Sandton Oncology Centre for my 5 minute dose of those rays and then kept going until about 3pm when I become incredibly tired and just have to rest. My follow-up scan will be in early January so my radiation oncologist has told me to use the in between time positively and not to angst about what the results will be – I plan to avoid all stress and as soon as I gain back my energy will head for the gym and other exercise. I am still totally wiped out and continue to need my 2 hour rest in the arvies – usually accompanied by a guided imagery cd which sends me into a deep deep sleep-but not deep enough not to tune into Lucky barking at rabbits or people in the street or the boykies having a chill out on the trampoline below our bedroom window!

So I think I have a very good excuse for being silent!!

Samuel and Joseph have just turned 12 – next year it will be their barmitzvah –my how time flies when you are having fun! Recently they participated in a musical review concert at their school – the songs they danced to were by ABBA so it was makeup, hair and late nights which meant late mornings allowed by the school and casual clothes too – big bonus – only problem was we couldn't sleep that late because darling puppy Lucky needs to go out and pee at about 6.30am and if its any later then we pay for it by having to mop up the liquid sometimes solid mess.

Mark’s brother Phil, his wife Jo and two of their grown up kids Patrick 10 and Esther 16 paid us a few visits in August en route to Madikwe, Cape Town and post the Drakensberg. We had a great time reconnecting and the boykies really love their big cousins – so much so that Patrick has passed on his shoe fetish to Joe who now ebays all the latest sneakers on the market….and has even ordered a cheap pair of BAPES which cost almost nothing but will probably fit me and not him! Esther was persuaded by moi to leave behind her old, once upon a time probably lovely canvas shoes not for me who also has a shoe fetish…..but for Lucky – to date – almost a month since they left he drags them around the garden and sucks chews and loves being chased while he hangs onto the bow or threads hanging off.

Mark was in Holland for 12 days meeting with all his Dutch, Indian and American associates of the company Kessels&Smit. It was a sort of AGM which included two nights on a small island in the North Sea - I would have loved to tag along – have met many of the Dutchies (as we refer to them) on their various trips to SA and they are really very special people – very friendly, attentive with a great sense of humor. Despite Robert van Noort and Mark giving me boxes of tulip bulbs from Amsterdam….I’m embarrassed to say that they all rotted in the soil I planted them in – then I was told that Hadeco in SA grows tulip bulbs and exports them to Holland so not sure what went wrong!

It’s spring and am thoroughly enjoying the shocking pink peach blossom, the purple grape like blooms of the wisteria which winds its way around the veranda ballustrade – together with the potted freesias and jasmine, they smell heavenly especially at night – but now I have blocked sinuses and headaches which could be seasonal but could also just be an infection.

Towards the end of November the boys and I will head for Atlanta via London for my niece Aliya’s batmitzvah – this trip will include another trip to Disney (did it in 2001) in Orlando although I have made it very clear to Sam and Joe that I don’t plan to do the theme parks other than one or two and they may just have to go with Auntie Paola and Lia and Auntie Sue and Adam. The guys are very into making their own movies using my little digital mik and druk camera which has a video mode – they then do the subtitles, soundtracks and editing using my MAC – in fact they are so adept that I feel generationally inferior which of course I am. So I don’t mind MGM studios - after all that is where I bought Sam’s first book on how to do animation of the Disney characters like mickey mouse and co –an invaluable resource which he continues to use 6 years later.
The resort we will be staying at is apparently geared for a relaxing time so will do just that – in fact Robyn Solomon who is living in Sydney and her family from SA and New Zealand will also be Disneying at the same place and will thankfully overlap with us for one night so it will be fun to see her soon.
We will return via London and meet up with Mark in Cambridge where we will be joining his family for Christmas – hopefully it will snow so the boys can finally build a snowman – we were away when it snowed in Johannesburg in July – in fact they begged us to leave Umhlanga for home but we could not be persuaded! (Sister Diane and family very generously gave us a week’s time share for my 50th birthday –so good to get close to the sea).

Please note that I will probably only update this website in early 2008 – when my next batch of hopefully good news will be available.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 11:32 AM CAT

Mosela Sela / Mount Grace

HEALTH UPDATE

Its exactly 2 years since my diagnosis-
I had a full body PetScan at the end of February which revealed as follows:
Firstly the tumor in my lung is now dead! Yay!
The cancer in the pleural lining of my lung is still active.
There is a small mass near one of my ribs which is also still active.

I always thought I only had one tumor but my onc explained that when a tumor shrinks it can break up into smaller bits, which is what has happened. Still don’t quite understand it all but the main thing is that my medication is working and I will continue on it until such time that it stops doing what it has to do.

Then of course there is a 5mm kidney stone within my kidney which needs to be sorted out – it has been causing me to have intermittent blood in my urine since July last year-but no pain. Can’t wait around for the excruciating pain to announce itself so have been consulting with my urologist who is currently having a good look at my x-rays and scans and will soon decide which is the best way to remove it – I have a history of kidney stones but this one which is huge could be from all the chemo and cortisone that I had in 2005.

Otherwise I am absolutely fine, still experience exhaustion at times and apart from an achey ankle and calf muscle I am still visiting the gym and walking.

EMMA THOMPSON AND ME

In early Feb I received an email from Panos Pictures in London (they are a stock agency and have had my work on file since the mid-80s) asking me if I was interested in doing a week long job traveling around South Africa with Emma Thompson, who apart from being an award-winning actress, is also an ambassador for ActionAid – Of course! I replied – and they then replied – listen this is a hectic job, lots of traveling, you have to shoot digital, are you sure you are up to it? – now Panos are aware of my illness, but I assured them that I was in fine fettle and had climbed up Retiefs Kloof at least 4 times and was visiting my gym regularly.

I hadn’t done any real serious work since my diagnosis 2 years ago so this was the perfect opportunity. Was in a kind of rut thinking that I would have to change my career and become a doctor’s receptionist…… but doing this work made me realize that I can still be a photographer! Of course I prefer to choose the jobs I want to do…if possible….
I then rushed off to my dietician and asked her to recommend potions for exhaustion and unannounced diarrhea – I packed my camera bag to the brim with all sorts of paraphernalia including headache tablets, and tons of toilet paper. I decided not to tell any of the ActionAid folks about my illness as I didn’t want the “ag shame “factor to creep in.

So for 5 days I traveled with Emma and the crew (6 of us in total) from Jo’burg to Orange Farm to OR Tambo International to Cape Town to Stellenbosch to fruit farms in Wellington to a Treatment Action Campaign meeting in Gordons Bay, onto East London, Duncan Village where Masimanyane Women’s Support Group have a huge presence, Peddie, Grahamstown and surrounds and finally to Port Elizabeth and back home to JHB for a press conference.

Emma is just amazing – sooo down to earth, engaging and best of all for me…she too has cracked heels which were clearly displayed because she wears Birkenstocks! Was thinking of giving her my tube of Pedi-Relax which works wonders…but held back …we are not that familiar yet I thought to myself…

Of course my job was to capture her interviewing people in communities, dancing with them, laughing with them and of course being very serious about issues which affect women in this country – need I mention rape, domestic violence and HIV/Aids?

I never went to bed before midnight and had an inner energy like never before! I was so determined to crack this challenge that I landed up shooting 2000 images…and not traveling with a laptop meant that when I got back to Joeys the real work began – I spent at least 10 days working non stop at the computer, editing captioning and finally sending the images off via FTP (the biggest challenge of all). My pics will be used for an article Emma is writing based on her journal entries throughout the trip – for GOOD HOUSEKEEPING UK magazine – as well as the ActionAid website.

Finally when we all parted company at AA headquarters in JHB, I tearfully thanked all for making this job the most important one for me – a breakthrough for my self-confidence and just knowing that I can get back to working again. I then told them that I hadn’t really worked for the past due years due to my illness – next thing they too were in tears but it all ended happily with hugs and affirmations – thankfully ActionAid were very happy with my work and so was I!

WE ARE SO LUCKY!

Since our wonderful December holiday in Kei Mouth with the Caminsky Ovens’ and their 4 dogs, my boykies have been asking for a puppy – and it was only when Sue Blumberg told me that her Gigi and Sparky were about to become parents that my ears pricked up- cute baby black and tan dachshunds, mmm very sweet very cuddly – the first puppy was born LUCKY, the second died and the third FOXY a female is blind.
Every weekend we went to visit the bundles of joy knowing that we actually couldn’t have one as they were both booked – I told Sue that should any of the deals fall through…that we would be very interested. WE meaning me, Sam Joe….Mark has never been keen on dogs but nevertheless I phoned him in Holland where he was on business with his new colleagues…and said WE ARE GETTING A PUPPY and he said OK – WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?

I brought Lucky home on the 2nd of March – he actually belongs to Joe who has now become an expert pooper scooper while I do the more liquid events, and laying down (amazing how many articles I suddenly realize I forgot to read) cleaning up of newspapers on the kitchen floor.

To be honest his squeaking in the early morning and through the barrier between the kitchen and the rest of the house…I can do without. But he is soooo cute and loving and cuddlesome and adorable and animated…we all (except for Mark) feel that our home has become one of laughter and amusement - especially when four short legs and one long snout try stealing a pair of school shoes for breakfast, Sharon’s purple ostrich feather duster for lunch and Sam’s zulu spear for dinner!

50th

I turned 50 on the 18th March and decided to celebrate by planting two indigenous trees next to the swimming pool to hide the electric fencing, the telephone pole and the ugly wall – my sister Diane from Atlanta came for two weeks, sister Sue from Cape Town for a week, Phil and Paola came for the weekend and cousin Terry Zoeller tried to surprise me by specially coming up from Plett for the occasion but nevertheless she called ahead of time to announce her intentions. Hilary Prendini Toffoli whom I worked with at The Star and Style magazine also flew up from Cape Town and together with Lexi Kriel and Sue Grant Marshall we were able to have a mini those were the days at The Star reunion!

So the celebrations started with a Shabbat dinner on Friday 16th, followed by a special dlish Indian vegetarian lunch cooked by the very talented Lexi on Saturday the 17th – then at 2.30pm on Sunday the 18th, once all had been prepared and set up my close friends and family gathered for the 2 x indigenous tree planting which was followed by a heavenly chocolate birthday cake, champagne, live guitar music in the background and a fun time was had by all.

Then the celebrations continued as we headed for Retiefs Kloof on Wednesday the 21st for a picnic and swim and finally a trip to Madikwe Game Reserve for two nights joined by cousin Andy Margo from London and his daughter Julia too.

Thank goodness we all have a wonderful sense of humor because I didn’t realize that the drive would be 2 hours on corrugated gravel roads thus almost unhinging the left rear door of my car, nor did I for one moment expect the lodge we booked at would dare to give us welcome cocktails complete with drowned ants floating on the surface – this was followed by the visibility of moving masses of live ants which gathered en masse at every site of water, crumbs and even just cracks in the floor and also on all the tres chick lounge furniture, the wooden tea table and the freshly baked bran muffins which we though were choc chip.
Ok so there is a drought and this is the African bush and we are city slickers but we have done the bush before and for less money- the cherry on the top for me was the rats who not only pooped from the thatch rafters above our bed onto our duvets…but also peeed onto the sheets from a dizzy height in the middle of the night – and then poor sister D screamed into the black night when she almost walked into a puff adder that was merely crossing her unlit path. I could go on and on suffice to say that if you do want to explore Madikwe make sure you have tons of money so you can stay in a really fancy place that will take your complaints seriously and will also not serve you tinned fruit and curried pilchards for dinner.

MOUNT GRACE AND MEN WHO REFUSE TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS

We asked the 21 year-old game ranger/manager and his girlfriend to please direct us back to Rustenburg via more tar than gravel. Turned out for some reason much longer and when Mark and Sam left us in Thabazimbi to head back to JHB via Lesedi Cultural Village in Broederstroom, we (Diane, Andy Julia, Joe and myself) headed for Rustenburg, a quick visit to my dad’s grave and then a massage at Mt Grace Spa and Hotel (no ants no rats and fab homecooked fresh food) where we stayed the night. It was blissful but too short –In the meantime according to Sam, they got lost and Mark refused to ask for directions and just perused the mapbook often in denial about their wrong turns thus missing out on a visit to the cultural village that Sam was so eager to go to – they got back to jo’burg long after my 1 hour neck and shoulder massage was over.

So now that I am a big girl and the reality has set in – I have tons of things to sort out and work on and hopefully I will keep this site more updated than before!!

Saturday, December 30, 2006 3:00PM CAT

Stop Press, 21st February 2007
See picture of Gisele & Emma Thompson taken at Cape Town airport this morning - full story to follow...

HEALTH UPDATE!

My last ct scan which I had at the end of November revealed “stable disease”, which means no tumor growth and no spread of the cancer – this is good according to the experts – my next scan at the end of Feb will be a PETSCAN which via an intravenous radioactive isotope shows up any cancer activity in the body – my radiologist seems to think there is a lot of scar tissue where the tumour is situated – we need to be able to see what is beneath. In the meantime I continue on my very expensive medication which only has the side effects of dry skin, sometimes pimply skin, occasional exhaustion, unpredictable attacks of diarrhea, and continually splitting nails – my fight with my medical aid to pay for the drug or at least part of it continues……..

4 ADULTS, 4 CHILDREN, 4 DOGS, 4 X 4, 1 X HAMPSTER HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY IN KEI MOUTH. UNTIL THE ONLY ADULT MALE SLIPS ON A WET ROCK……

We have just returned from a very wonderful yet eventful 2 week holiday in Kei Mouth – eastern cape- with our special friends Wendy Ovens, Merle Caminsky and their delightful two children Jessica and Quinton, their high energy dogs x4, Bella, Lucy, Zoe and Roxy and hamster Lightning ……. We travelled in convoy with them to Smithfield in the Free State where we did an overnight stop. They travelled in Wendy’s super duper Toyota landcruiser which is dreaming of a future long trip through Africa…. but in the meantime is prepared to train on the untarred roads of Morgan Bay and Double Mouth. En route their kids watched dvds on screens suspended behind the front seats- with headphones of course ….. the dogs slept well, cushioned at the very back, the hamster had an interim teeny weeny cage for the journey - much amusement at the petrol stations we stopped at to refuel cars and defuel tummies. Sam and Joe were thrilled with all this technology and on the second day of the journey took turns to go in their vehicle rather than in my 11 year-old Jetta complete with aircon, roof carrier, good car games like I spy… I predict the 10th car will be a white one….not to mention the fab tuna, egg mayo sandwiches which I prepared for the journey.

In Smithfield , Merle, Wendy, two of the kids and I decided to take ourselves and the dogs for a walk up the mountain – whilst marveling at the idea of living in such a quaint quiet dorp with cows and chickens and yappy dogs in the yard, I slipped on the gravel road which seemed to have a slanting concrete slab beneath it – my water bottle from which I was sipping went flying in Merle’s direction and drenched her – my brand new cargo pants got torn as I went flying slow mo through the air hitting the ground with a thud – with my poor left knee now less a few layers of skin – I hobbled back to the self-catering cottage where Wendy - who used to be a nurse and still likes the idea - took charge of my injury – her first aid kit is about 10 times bigger than the average so for 10 days thereafter she would check my wound nightly, apply a sterile dressing with A BLOB OF HONEY on it and voila! It has now healing beautifully.

All the kids got on fabulously, playing pool, table tennis, fishing, rockpooling and walking the dogs on the beach – oh yes! They also played lots of beach cricket, read books, ate well and fought and argued….. occasionally.

We celebrated channukah together lighting 3 menorahs per night - I even made delish oily latkes for two nights running! The adults too got on well – communal cooking, eating, drinking and reading the Daily Despatch not to mention the Kei Mor Echo – local publication so colonial. Wendy’s brother Phil and his wife Gill joined us for a few days –he cooked an awesome potjie, taught my boys the fine art of bait fishing whilst I taught Gill composition and lighting with gorgeous late afternoon light shimmering on the water.

Wendy and Merle’s house in Kei Mouth is called BLIKOOR – and at night if you listen carefully, in between the buzz and rasps of the noisy critters outside…you can hear the sea. They have a fabulous view of the Kei River mouth and the sea beyond - we even took the pont over the river one day and walked along the remote beach on the other side – collecting huge fabulous shells and pieces of driftwood.

But on our last day….thankfully…the visit I had been dreading all along happened…Ja nee….a young puff adder was heading for the front door – which was wide open and quite inviting. Thanks to Teenage (handyman, ex mineworker, gardener and local inhabitant of Cwili) and Wendy and at times Mark….they caught the snake which upon attempted escape led them to find yet another but this time a cornsnake in the shed, where they sort refuge – finally both were tossed into the field next door … and to this day… I still don’t understand why they wont return….but Wendy says they wont! And I said…. So glad we are leaving tomorrow! (I wasn’t really happy because we had such a relaxing time until Mark slipped on a wet rock while deciding whether or not to cross a flooded lagoon).

We went en masse to a place called Double Mouth in the 4 x 4 and left Merle at home to do her thesis…..we were in search of treasure which apparently gets washed up at low tide near the site of a shipwreck which sank 100 years ago – chipped pieces of china and semi-precious stones…but to get there it’s a bit of a walk – no problem except due to heavy rain the little lagoon was now a big one joining with the sea – whilst pondering whether or not to swim across… Mark who was standing on a rock turned round and slipped –he fell on his arm, was in absolute agony – end of treasure hunt – nurse Wendy wrapped his painful arm into a sling with my beach wrap and we headed home – she knew that he had broken his arm and told him not to eat or drink until they had seen a doc at the hospital in East London, 1 hours drive away.

Well he had indeed broken his radius very badly and had to have surgery to insert a steel plate into his arm - we cancelled our 4 night stay in Haga Haga, and Merle and Wendy kindly invited us to stay on with them instead. The road would have been too bumpy and what use would a one-armed husband be to me anyway…packing and unpacking and doing all the cooking and cleaning solo???? We drove back via Bloemfontein with Merle’s completed thesis resting on the back window of the car – precious cargo not to get destroyed by the pouring rains which was good for the farmers and our garden but not so good for me the constant driver – Mark did manage to help our for an hour or two provided he didn’t have to put the car in reverse – too painful and difficult even though I offered to do it whilst he did the foot work…

End 2006 – Beginning 2007
Since our return from the coast we have been mightily busy: celebrating my mom Pearl’s 82nd birthday, belated Christmas dinner on the 26th with my sister Susan, her husband Darrell and son Adam. I also delivered Merle’s thesis to her supervisor for perusal.

Before we went away my friend Miriam Freedman from NYC came to visit for a few days – soon Sue and her son James Carlin will be passing through JHB from Sydney en route to Plett, then wacky Jacky Lucas Palmer is coming through for 2 days en route to London via PE and me.

The boys start Grade 6 on the 8th January, Mark leaves for Holland on the 10th to connect with his new work associates, and then I hope to start working at my discretion. I turn 50 in March and on the 3rd April it will be 2 years since my diagnosis.

Wishing you all a special healthy and happy New Year!

Sunday, October 22, 2006 21:27 PM CAT

Update from Mark

Howls of deprived anguish have led us to produce a joint website update this time. Unfortunately this will not be in Gisele’s usual style – she is responsible for the accompanying pictures, while the text is my responsibility.

So what has been going on?

Well, it is basically as follows:

2 trips to Retief’s Kloof. Gisele impressed with her two climbs up to the first pool, and I went right up to the high waterfall for the first time with Sam and Joe.

Lots of visitors, including Gisele’s sisters Diane and Susan and brief visits from brother Philip and Paola, and my cousin Robbie and his family. We also saw Robyn Solomon on her home visit back from Australia, and had a working visit from my new Dutch colleague Kemp Van Ginkel.

Boys doing well at cricket at school this term (played 2, won 2 so far – beating Craighall and Greenside Primary Schools).

Our pool is now warm enough to swim in. Even Gisele dipped her toes in today. Gisele making regular visits to the gym these days and has developed some new muscles.

Gisele’s exhibition on veteran women leaders in SA was opened at the Apartheid Museum last week. Over 200 people attended the launch, and the exhibition runs until December.

Gisele still doing well on her medication, although our medical insurance company still refusing to pay for it. Her latest scans in August showed a continued positive impact on her tumour, and the next scan will be in November.

I am in the process of changing jobs – leaving CARE after 5 years and joining The Learning Company – an international consulting firm that focuses on organisational learning and is based in Utrecht in Holland. I will be establishing their South African operation, full-time from January.

We now have a skype connection at home, so can be skyped (search for us on skype).

So now you are all up-to-date with our lives! We will endeavour to keep this site updated from time-to-time, and greatly appreciate even occasional messages from near and far…!

Saturday, August 5, 2006 9:36 PM CAT

ANOTHER STOP PRESS - HOLD THE FRONT PAGES! Monday 21st August 2006.
Gisele had her scheduled scan today, and the results indicate further good progress in 'shrinking the tumour', so "Viva Tarceva Viva" - onward ever and backward never!

STOP PRESS Friday 10th
Gisele and Mark can now be contacted on skype at our new skype address - mark.turpin1

ONCOLOGY ON CANVAS

The pic above, of me and my double chin and my entry into the ONCOLOGY ON CANVAS competition, was taken two weeks ago at the exhibition of all the South African entries (80 in total) at the offices of Eli Lily pharmaceuticals (the photographer had a fisheye lens on and I didn’t want to embarrass her by telling her to shoot from above rather than from below….in my experience the above cancels out the double chin factor…) So Lily are funding this worldwide event which will be judged in London in October – the prizes include trips to London (not sure what the London entrants get) and prize money to be donated to your favorite cancer charity – in my case….THE GISELE WULFSOHN TARCEVA FUND.

The entries had to reflect one’s cancer journey and what has made it a positive one – well for me it has been all your wonderfully special encouraging messages of love and care – and if you look closely you might just spot one of them. (Don’t panic - no names were used other than mine). I photographed parts of sentences from the website and then tore up the photos into strips which I then stuck into the heart shape. The blueish greenish color is what comes from photographing a screen at a slow speed. Surrounding the heart are snippets of my diagnosis, articles about lung cancer, diet etc.

By the way…still on Tarceva, still fighting with medical aid, having next scan end of August – will post an update.

HOW TO ESCAPE WINTER IN SA FOR 3 WEEKS

Greetings all and apologies for my absence from this site – we have just been en famille to the UK for 3 weeks. For me the most rewarding part of the trip was not having to use oxygen on any of my flights. My energy was soaring and thus I was able to walk and talk longer than most others, and I never went to bed before 11pm …thanks to late sunny summer nights. I did have the odd rest and did find my first encounter with the London Underground rather tiring….but then people who don’t have lung cancer also find it tiring! In fact, lately, I don’t see myself as a sick person – as far as I am concerned I just have some foreign body in my right lung which needs to be monitored regularly.

We based ourselves in Cambridge – 22 Cav (Cavendish) Ave to be exact…the home of Mark’s parents Colin and Monique. The day after our arrival in the UK I headed off to Stanstead Airport to meet up with Carolyn Raphaely who was visiting friends and family in London Together we flew to Barcelona for 4 days to see our dear friend Sue Carlin and her darling son James. They live outside the city in a town called Sitges but that didn’t stop me and Raphaely from taking a break from girlfriend bonding and catching up….to include a day of shoe shopping along the Ramblas - interspersed with a tapas lunch (met Sue at CIUDAD CONDAL on Rambla de Catelunya …yum yum I am now on diet). We also made an icecream stop a few hours later, to rest our weary feet, newly bedecked with at least one pair of our respective new purchases. I was fairly restrained and only bought one pair of sandals for myself and one pair for my sister Diane who shares my shoe size and Imelda Marcos shoe fetish.

Sue is fluent in Spanish or so I thought… Due to long distance and having to book at least a year in advance, my idea for a special once in a lifetime gastronomic experience at El Buli – proclaimed to be the best restaurant in the world… was thrown out. Firstly its not in Barcelona as all the articles tell you…its actually a two hour drive out of the city – ….so instead Sue booked a table at Fabes, a 3-star Michelin restaurant only a one hour drive from Sitges in the village of Sant Celoni. Suddenly we were close to the French border, Sue driving with speed and resolve to get us there – all dressed up with somewhere to go. The place was pretty quant, totally uptight, all the waitrons, male and female, were dressed in charcoal colored suits complete with ties and it seemed like smiling was not part of the protocol. No English menus available and this is where all the trouble started…our dear friend translated for us peasants….amongst other items, there was a fish dish, a lamb dish and apparently veal – I ordered the latter and when it arrived and we began to eat I was bowled over by the softness, texture and creaminess – both Carrie and Sue tasted a morsel and agreed – stunning!

However I got a bit suspicious when my knife sliced through what looked like a vein and possible blood clot – could this be bull’s brain? We called over the stern waitron who announced that it was indeed sweetbreads…..well what sort I asked (like I knew the difference between one sweetbread and another) – mmmm…the thymus gland of a bull she said …it is situated alongside the throat. Could have been bull’s testicle for all I knew so I abruptly stopped eating. I certainly didn’t starve because thankfully the meal had other bits to it like tiny tapas and pastries and sorbets to clean the palate. I’m still not totally vegetarian but let me warn you if you ever see the following on a Spanish menu and you are as politely peasant as I am….avoid RIS DE VEAU LACATS AMB UN SALTEJAT DE FRUITES!

So back to London, back to Cambridge and onto Oxford to visit Mark’s brother Phil, his wife Jo and their teenage and beyond kids Jonathan, Patrick and Esther. We left the boykies with their cousies for the weekend whilst Mark and I headed to London for the fabulous wacky Jac Palmer’s 50th bash (she of who is missing you whooooooooo fame) on the rooftop of a parking garage in central London – the theme was JAC’S CAR BOOT. It was a warm balmy summers evening with a slight breeze and whilst we didn’t really adhere to the dress code of “second hand chic” many others did with the result that the roof was humming with color, beehives, hair gel, wigs, lurex, catsuits, sequins, chiffon and shantung - not to mention a series of 1950’s cars pretending to have a car boot sale. 50’s tv sets were placed at various sites and if it wasn’t a reel of the history of Jac Palmer and friends, relatives and babies (Phew! I featured via some happy snaps taken in the Transkei some 16 years ago!) it was hilarious commercials from the 50’s and another featuring a loop of Carry On…films. We didn’t know that many people apart from Carrie who glamourised the event in a long lace Gatsby frock complete with newly acquired bunion -aching retro vintage shoes (neither 2nd hand I must add!) and Jillian Edelstein whom we stayed with that night. (Great peals of laughter prior to our departure for the jorl as she tried on a variety of frocks and shoes and then earrings and oh dear the hair and makeup…..and asked me for my opinion – all looked fabulous so how could she go wrong?) We settled in a corner of fluffy white cushions alongside the jazz pianist who asked us to get the party going by choosing songs from a list of about 200 for him to play, then by dancing alongside…no doubt the hordes would join in…but being a bit shy, we preferred to eat of course and what a meal it was, gourmet salads, prawn kebabs with small cardboard cake/Chinese take away boxes as crockery.

The salsa band on the north side came complete with dancers and a very handsome guitarist who according to Jillian had bedded some celebrity actress whose name I can’t remember. And then there were speeches – wonderful one by Steve (the other half of the missing you whoooooooo) then Jacs, then their beautiful daughter Chili with equally gorgeous sister Olive as support. In fact I am not even doing justice to the party – you would need to see pictures and video footage to really get a sense of it all. We didn’t manage to stay till 2am so when the disco was in full swing at midnight we danced a bit and then departed. Couldn’t believe our luck to see foxes darting around the streets of suburban London as we headed home to Jillian’s place in West Hampstead!

The following day we crossed the millennium bridge and made a brief visit to the Tate Modern – of course we hadn’t booked for the Kandinsky show so couldn’t view that. Later headed back to Oxford to connect with the boys and the Oxford Turpins – all had bonded so well that in fact we could have stayed on in London for a few more days…they wouldn’t have even noticed. What Sam and Joe especially enjoyed was the fact that Phil and Jo’s kids call their parents by their first names and they in turn treat them like “people” - not children. They sobbed as we left for Cambridge and kept referring to how much better Oxford was and how their cousins spoilt them etc…

So back to Cav Ave and time to make things seem better there……nothing short of Monique’s sponge cake and icing could do the trick! Soon the guys were settled there, playing basketball, volley ball, fishing newts out of the pond and climbing apple trees.
It was so special to have quiet time in Cambridge – I didn’t have to cook because Monique did it soooo well and most meals were out in the garden in that late late light.
The boys bonded incredibly well with their grandparents – Monique got them to paint with her, bake with her and read with her.

They even went punting whilst I was away so I insisted that Mark take me for old times sake – great fun until he almost went overboard - pole got stuck in the mud! Colin also took me and Mark on a private tour of the library at Clare College – not open to the public - and also to see the Cambridge University Library where we decided to challenge its computer research capabilities. We entered THE JAIL DIARY OF ALBIE SACHS – and got explicit directions where to find it …….a few floors up turn right shelf number .. we were in the PRISONS section. It felt like we were on a treasure hunt, following clues and finally finding the booty.

Our following short visit to London included a lunch in the fragrantly colorful English country garden of Tessa and Larry Levine’s in Hampstead Gardens. Catered for by Tess and my old Kingsmead friend Janet Isaacs of Max Mara coat fame (many journals ago…mentioned our visit to a game lodge with her), it was great to see some of my old buddies including my cousin Andy Margo, Gideon Mendel (cycled in en route to his mom who coincidentally lives round the corner), Colin, Laura, William and Ben Mendelowitz, Judy Friedberg, Alan Wolfson and their daughter Sophie, Bella Isaacs who hasn’t aged a year (Janet’s mom) and Alan Gottlieb – Janet’s husband.

Whilst some of the guests watched the Wimbledon final (I used to do that but have lost interest and for some reason now prefer soccer – world cup soccer…) I preferred to catch up with the others and even allowed Gideon to do some portraits of me…zits and all…eek will have to photo shop those out! (Part of the effects of my medication – intermittent acne vulgaris)

Suddenly our three weeks were up and it was time to head home – the boys went into a deep depression, Joseph hid behind a cupboard hoping not to be found, he fell out of the old apple tree hoping to break a limb which would delay our departure, they both went on a hunger strike and refused to eat lunch– they did not want to come back to SA – why cant we live in the UK? No one has high walls or fences or alarms, the sun shines till 9pm (mmmm yes it does! for a few weeks in summer), and its so lovely and hot (heat wave). Nothing could make things better, and worst of all – they had school the following day. It took a week to settle back into winter, burglar bars and security gates – and now all is back to semi-normal.

Thursday May 25th 2006 05.22pm CAT

FURTHER STOP PRESS as at 22nd June 2006

Gisele is fine and well! Whole family is on holiday until mid-July. This site will be updated in the latter part of July.

STOP PRESS

This is just a quick stop press to let you all know the good news that the oral medication that Gisele is currently taking appears to have had very positive results in reducing the size of her tumour! This is more than we had dared hope for and we are greatly cheered. Thanks so much to everyone for your continuing support! Mark.

A BELATED UPDATE

It’s one of those unusual but beautiful crisp autumn days of alternating rain and shine. Just consumed a delish helping of no carb or sugar vegetarian buffet at FRUITS AND ROOTS up the road in Emmarentia accompanied by Rinki Dison on cappuchino. Now I’m blissfully home….. all alone, accompanied only by a large cup of spiced chai tea and the radio, airing my most favorite program –THE AFRICAN CONNECTION presented by Richard Mwamba (EVERY Saturday on SAFM from 13.00 to 15.00hrs for those who can tune in – for those of you who cant, perhaps its better that way …this music could make you homesick!)

Mark has taken Sam and Joe and their friend Sethu to the newly opened Origins Centre at Wits University –this is a world class museum dedicated to rock art and currently exhibiting an excellent show on the San. It’s a fabulous outing which I did recently with the boys and Jillian Edelstein (friend and fellow photographer visiting from London) and her kids Gabriel and Savannah – we had to rush through the last bit as I was running late for my haircut appointment not to mention that Jillian had to abandon the tour earlier due to Savannah’s tummy bug….so my guys felt short-changed which is why they are there again, this time to show Mark around (more about Jillian’s visit later….)

Had a great visit from Karen Harber who is now living in NYC – months in advance she booked me, Melinda Silverman and Laura Dison for breakfast, 10am on Tuesday 11th April – and no restaurants please, never been to your house (of course you have Karen…you and Sophie came to one of my historical mammoth kiddies birthday parties that we used to host but don’t anymore….it was many years ago and some people do forget….) so why don’t you host the breakfast??… Obediently I set up a spread which would far surpass anything available beyond our front door… Of course Melinda brought 8 huge croissants instead of the 6 small ones I requested, and I too overcatered! No problem as I managed to feed all the kids and many more with all the remains.

Another special visitor was Lydie Berube (better known to my boys as THAT GIRL FROM PARIS!), a resident of Cape Town in summer, came by on her way back to Paris – clever gal – ….why spend winter in SA when France beckons??

I have been on my new oral drug Tarceva for almost 3 months – my acne continues with new pimples, lumps and bumps of varying size and shape appearing each day….and then disappearing only to be replaced by similar. The tips of my fingers are now displaying deep cuts (another side effect) which are irritating and sometimes painful – still fighting with my medical aid to pay for my medication – they say it is not an effective drug for me – I have to prove them wrong and I guess my scan at the end of month will be the best way to do so.

Along comes a dear friend from wayback days at The Star newspaper (early 80s she was editor of the Womans Page and I was the dedicated photographer - now she is most sought-after freelance writer and I am currently an off duty photog….). Sue Grant Marshall arranged for me to have a special facial and treatment with the fabulous , famous and most caring beauty therapist, Helene Bramwell at THE MASK in Parkview. After all the lotions and potions, I was put under a special healing green lamp which apparently regenerates cells and circulation – Helene has told me to come every day to lie under the lamp for 20 minutes –total relaxation at no charge! She also introduced me to the perfect color base cover up which sort of masks my adolescent skin. Mark has suggested that if I intensify my eye makeup with kohl pencil…smouldering look….then at least it will detract from my face….my eyes of course are in the centre of my face???? although at times I do feel they need to be at the back of my head too??

My sister Diane is visiting from Atlanta for two weeks, Melinda arrives tomorrow morning to do a few hours of photo albumming…oops better do my homework for her…

3 X LILAC BREASTED ROLLERS SITTING ON A TELEPHONE LINE SHOULD BRING GOOD LUCK??
Mark had work to do so he didn’t come with us to spend easter Saturday in the bush with my cousin David Sonnenberg and his wife Elise. Their piece of heaven is situated within a private game farm Kwaggasdrift, between Cullinan and Kwa Mahlangu – a mere 1 hour drive from JHB. Jillian, Gabriel, Savannah, Samuel, Joseph and moi piled into her huge hire car and headed north –en route, whilst Jillian and I reminisced with much amusement about all the characters we encountered during our early photographic careers, the kids in the back bickered and argued until bars of chocolate bribed them to calm down. On the way up the first dusty road, Jillian bragged about her ability to manouvre a non-4 wheel vehicle on a bumpy, pot-holed road surface using the serpentine method…it worked. I then spotted my favorite bird, a lilac-breasted roller… then another one and then…. another one. My boys announced from the backseat that this meant good luck! Of course it should…..BUT.once through the security check point, the road became less corrugated but not less pot holed. Suddenly we heard a clunk followed by water sprouting a metre high outside my passenger seat door – goddamit I thought …we have pierced the radiator…so whilst all the kids and Jillian raced out of the car, I sat there contemplating how I would get through this fountain without getting wet…or was it petrol…would the car explode with me in it?? – Twas a great relief when the kids burst out laughing to tell me that it was an exposed water pipe sticking out of the ground not the car – to much further amusement Gabriel did a little Dutch boy impersonation and tried to block the pipe with his hand – he got soaked –ha ha ha came from my two who were cheering him on from the sidelines –we finally moved off the pipe and headed to the house where everyone was gently sipping wine or beer. Outside we met my multi talented cousin David and his wife – in plumber mode….we had cut off their water supply! Oh dear! at this stage Jillian and I were laughing so much it didn’t seem to really matter!

While lunch was being braaied by the experts we took the kids who were arguing over a hammock and walked to the nearby abandoned waterhole – much mud, high grass, no real path, ticks?? When we got back a tearful Elise and David were preparing to leave for Johannesburg – they had just received a call to say that their daughter Sasha, my darling fairy godchild, had a sky diving accident near Carletonville and had broken her ankle. Talk about extreme pain from extreme sports??
Elise’s brother Dean who was also visiting from London was appointed as our game ranger and driver for the afternoon. He admitted that he had never ever driven a high 4 x 4 bakkie before but he seemed to manage quite well. Jillian and all the kids were in the back and I was in the cab with Dean and his girlfriend. We slowed down, came to a halt to watch a magnificent secretary bird take off – all the kids were standing up and pointing skywards – thankfully they followed the flight path and turned round because next thing the bakkie jerked forward and I saw two pairs of legs fly over the edge of the vehicle – it was Sam and Joe and my first thought was broken necks never mind bones etc. Joseph was fine but shocked, and Sam was in agony having fallen on his arm – thank god he was able to move his other limbs – we piled him into the cab and headed back to the house, dosed him with rescue remedy, panado and cranberry juice, put his arm in a makeshift sling – we then piled back into the bakkie and left Jillian with the light weights to drive to the main road – sped back to Joeys only to be alerted by a funny dragging sound coming from the wheels – OH NO! a flat tyre? Giggling again from nerves Jillian and I walked round the car in search of flatness only to find a tattered mud guard hanging and dragging loudly on the tar ….we had the windows closed but all passing pedestrians stared at us in horror. Called Mark and asked him to be on standby to take Sam to the Milpark Hospital where he had x-rays which revealed a grass shoot fracture. He now sports a plastered right arm in a sling (he is left handed) adorned with school mates signatures – poor chap is highly frustrated that he cannot do hip hop, soccer or basketball.

Meanwhile…..back in Cape Town, my 81 yr old mother Pearl who was staying with my sister Sue AND FAMILY, fell down her tiled staircase @ 6am in the dark….she cut her legs very badly and Sue had to call paramedics to lift her in case she had broken any bones….many stitches later and revised accommodation plans put in place….mom is thankfully up and about and some weeks later is now able to climb stairs. Sue flew back to JHB with her and stayed with her whilst we were away for the freedom day weekend (read all about it in next update). She is delighted to be home. Poor Sue had to bear all the responsibility – the fall could have been much more serious…but seems us WULFSOHN WOMEN are pretty resilient!

MOM, SASHA, JILLIAN, GABRIEL, SAVANNAH, JOE AND SAM….THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR TAKING MY MIND OFF MYSELF FOR AT LEAST ONE DAY!

Monday, May 8, 2006 9:57 PM CAT

A BELATED UPDATE

It’s one of those unusual but beautiful crisp autumn days of alternating rain and shine. Just consumed a delish helping of no carb or sugar vegetarian buffet at FRUITS AND ROOTS up the road in Emmarentia accompanied by Rinki Dison on cappuchino. Now I’m blissfully home….. all alone, accompanied only by a large cup of spiced chai tea and the radio, airing my most favorite program –THE AFRICAN CONNECTION presented by Richard Mwamba (EVERY Saturday on SAFM from 13.00 to 15.00hrs for those who can tune in – for those of you who cant, perhaps its better that way …this music could make you homesick!)

Mark has taken Sam and Joe and their friend Sethu to the newly opened Origins Centre at Wits University –this is a world class museum dedicated to rock art and currently exhibiting an excellent show on the San. It’s a fabulous outing which I did recently with the boys and Jillian Edelstein (friend and fellow photographer visiting from London) and her kids Gabriel and Savannah – we had to rush through the last bit as I was running late for my haircut appointment not to mention that Jillian had to abandon the tour earlier due to Savannah’s tummy bug….so my guys felt short-changed which is why they are there again, this time to show Mark around (more about Jillian’s visit later….)

Had a great visit from Karen Harber who is now living in NYC – months in advance she booked me, Melinda Silverman and Laura Dison for breakfast, 10am on Tuesday 11th April – and no restaurants please, never been to your house (of course you have Karen…you and Sophie came to one of my historical mammoth kiddies birthday parties that we used to host but don’t anymore….it was many years ago and some people do forget….) so why don’t you host the breakfast??… Obediently I set up a spread which would far surpass anything available beyond our front door… Of course Melinda brought 8 huge croissants instead of the 6 small ones I requested, and I too overcatered! No problem as I managed to feed all the kids and many more with all the remains.

Another special visitor was Lydie Berube (better known to my boys as THAT GIRL FROM PARIS!), a resident of Cape Town in summer, came by on her way back to Paris – clever gal – ….why spend winter in SA when France beckons??

I have been on my new oral drug Tarceva for almost 3 months – my acne continues with new pimples, lumps and bumps of varying size and shape appearing each day….and then disappearing only to be replaced by similar. The tips of my fingers are now displaying deep cuts (another side effect) which are irritating and sometimes painful – still fighting with my medical aid to pay for my medication – they say it is not an effective drug for me – I have to prove them wrong and I guess my scan at the end of month will be the best way to do so.

Along comes a dear friend from wayback days at The Star newspaper (early 80s she was editor of the Womans Page and I was the dedicated photographer - now she is most sought-after freelance writer and I am currently an off duty photog….). Sue Grant Marshall arranged for me to have a special facial and treatment with the fabulous , famous and most caring beauty therapist, Helene Bramwell at THE MASK in Parkview. After all the lotions and potions, I was put under a special healing green lamp which apparently regenerates cells and circulation – Helene has told me to come every day to lie under the lamp for 20 minutes –total relaxation at no charge! She also introduced me to the perfect color base cover up which sort of masks my adolescent skin. Mark has suggested that if I intensify my eye makeup with kohl pencil…smouldering look….then at least it will detract from my face….my eyes of course are in the centre of my face???? although at times I do feel they need to be at the back of my head too??

My sister Diane is visiting from Atlanta for two weeks, Melinda arrives tomorrow morning to do a few hours of photo albumming…oops better do my homework for her…

3 X LILAC BREASTED ROLLERS SITTING ON A TELEPHONE LINE SHOULD BRING GOOD LUCK??
Mark had work to do so he didn’t come with us to spend easter Saturday in the bush with my cousin David Sonnenberg and his wife Elise. Their piece of heaven is situated within a private game farm Kwaggasdrift, between Cullinan and Kwa Mahlangu – a mere 1 hour drive from JHB. Jillian, Gabriel, Savannah, Samuel, Joseph and moi piled into her huge hire car and headed north –en route, whilst Jillian and I reminisced with much amusement about all the characters we encountered during our early photographic careers, the kids in the back bickered and argued until bars of chocolate bribed them to calm down. On the way up the first dusty road, Jillian bragged about her ability to manouvre a non-4 wheel vehicle on a bumpy, pot-holed road surface using the serpentine method…it worked. I then spotted my favorite bird, a lilac-breasted roller… then another one and then…. another one. My boys announced from the backseat that this meant good luck! Of course it should…..BUT.once through the security check point, the road became less corrugated but not less pot holed. Suddenly we heard a clunk followed by water sprouting a metre high outside my passenger seat door – goddamit I thought …we have pierced the radiator…so whilst all the kids and Jillian raced out of the car, I sat there contemplating how I would get through this fountain without getting wet…or was it petrol…would the car explode with me in it?? – Twas a great relief when the kids burst out laughing to tell me that it was an exposed water pipe sticking out of the ground not the car – to much further amusement Gabriel did a little Dutch boy impersonation and tried to block the pipe with his hand – he got soaked –ha ha ha came from my two who were cheering him on from the sidelines –we finally moved off the pipe and headed to the house where everyone was gently sipping wine or beer. Outside we met my multi talented cousin David and his wife – in plumber mode….we had cut off their water supply! Oh dear! at this stage Jillian and I were laughing so much it didn’t seem to really matter!

While lunch was being braaied by the experts we took the kids who were arguing over a hammock and walked to the nearby abandoned waterhole – much mud, high grass, no real path, ticks?? When we got back a tearful Elise and David were preparing to leave for Johannesburg – they had just received a call to say that their daughter Sasha, my darling fairy godchild, had a sky diving accident near Carletonville and had broken her ankle. Talk about extreme pain from extreme sports??
Elise’s brother Dean who was also visiting from London was appointed as our game ranger and driver for the afternoon. He admitted that he had never ever driven a high 4 x 4 bakkie before but he seemed to manage quite well. Jillian and all the kids were in the back and I was in the cab with Dean and his girlfriend. We slowed down, came to a halt to watch a magnificent secretary bird take off – all the kids were standing up and pointing skywards – thankfully they followed the flight path and turned round because next thing the bakkie jerked forward and I saw two pairs of legs fly over the edge of the vehicle – it was Sam and Joe and my first thought was broken necks never mind bones etc. Joseph was fine but shocked, and Sam was in agony having fallen on his arm – thank god he was able to move his other limbs – we piled him into the cab and headed back to the house, dosed him with rescue remedy, panado and cranberry juice, put his arm in a makeshift sling – we then piled back into the bakkie and left Jillian with the light weights to drive to the main road – sped back to Joeys only to be alerted by a funny dragging sound coming from the wheels – OH NO! a flat tyre? Giggling again from nerves Jillian and I walked round the car in search of flatness only to find a tattered mud guard hanging and dragging loudly on the tar ….we had the windows closed but all passing pedestrians stared at us in horror. Called Mark and asked him to be on standby to take Sam to the Milpark Hospital where he had x-rays which revealed a grass shoot fracture. He now sports a plastered right arm in a sling (he is left handed) adorned with school mates signatures – poor chap is highly frustrated that he cannot do hip hop, soccer or basketball.

Meanwhile…..back in Cape Town, my 81 yr old mother Pearl who was staying with my sister Sue AND FAMILY, fell down her tiled staircase @ 6am in the dark….she cut her legs very badly and Sue had to call paramedics to lift her in case she had broken any bones….many stitches later and revised accommodation plans put in place….mom is thankfully up and about and some weeks later is now able to climb stairs. Sue flew back to JHB with her and stayed with her whilst we were away for the freedom day weekend (read all about it in next update). She is delighted to be home. Poor Sue had to bear all the responsibility – the fall could have been much more serious…but seems us WULFSOHN WOMEN are pretty resilient!

MOM, SASHA, JILLIAN, GABRIEL , SAVANNAH, JOE AND SAM….THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR TAKING MY MIND OFF MYSELF FOR AT LEAST ONE DAY!

Sunday, March 26, 2006 06.22pm CAT

I REALLY PREFER MARK the PHILATELIST…QUIET AND CONTENT

I married a philatelist – a serious one at that – a man more than happy to spend hours playing with his stamps when he is not playing with the boys or me for that matter!
I now know never ever to tear open an envelope especially one adorned with exotic stamps… (few and far between in this time of email!)

He does have many more talents though ….just to mention a few ….focused grocery shopping, cycling, weightlifting, swimming, troubleshooting the computer or printer, washing dishes because he refuses to use the dishwasher, listening to Irish music IRISH MUSIC IRISH MUSIC IRISH MUSIC and sometimes …Abdullah Ibrahim (Dollar Brand).. He sometimes surprises me with his wannabe rock muso impersonations….as do Sam and Joe.

Today he took the boys along to buy new colour cartridges and other computer accessories in Rosebank. I knew that there were plans to check out…CHECK OUT CHECK OUT The Other Music Shop, better known as TOMS in Braamfontein on their way home.. Mmmm so much for the sounds of silence I so treasure on weekends…..because now a bright metallic deep red electric guitar, two amps, a microphone and various other bits and pieces adorn the lounge – Joe has found good use for my wig which makes him look like George Harrison.– and now NOISE not MUSIC is all I hear – apparently Mark struck a deal with the guys – no playing when mom is resting. Seems I might have to pretend to rest all day and night.

As part of my re-entry into the real world, I went off to The Market Photo Workshop in Newtown today to listen to a photo presentation and discussion by Mexican photographer Vida Yovanovich. Her way of dealing with her elderly mother’s Parkinsons Disease was to head off in search of abandoned and lonely old women at various old aged facilities in Mexico whom she photographed over a period of many years. While she was working there she became very friendly with the two young doctors in charge.. Then one of them was diagnosed with cancer and eventually died – she felt it was “unfair” because here were all these elderly women waiting to die but instead they all outlived the young doctor. This observation made me realize that the video project I had begun in 2003, documenting my 81 year old mom Pearl’s life especially with the onset of early alzheimers, which I abandoned when I got ill – should now be completed. I was making this video as a way of coping with the changes she was experiencing, my way of coping with her “ illness” –but now its about how she is coping with mine / or not…. for that matter.

I’m looking forward to Ingrid Gavshon’s visit later this afternoon – she encouraged me to turn this personal story into a video diary – and now its time to pick it all up and introduce a whole new dimension…my illness versus hers.

HEALTH UPDATE
Its now a month since I started my new oral drug Tarceva – so far the only major side effects are acne on my chin, nose, cheeks and a rash on my neck. I have had occasional bouts of diarrhea, itchy body and dry mouth. The anorexia mentioned as a side-effect certainly hasn’t affected me – after all I love GOOD food and will hardly let a drug get in the way of that! I am currently taking 1x100mgs per day which will soon be upped to the 150mg dose. My oncologist is thrilled that I am now sporting pimples –she says it’s a sign that the drug is working. Let’s hope so! I have put on a lot of weight since going off my good eating no dairy no processed sugar diet in September last year. After two monthly visits to my dietician who has been unbelievably supportive to me since diagnosis, I told her that I was in need of policing. So as of Thursday this last week, I have begun the weight loss diet which I hope will help me lose the kilos I gained. She thinks I am being hard on myself, and shouldn’t be stressed out by all this – but I know I felt much better being lighter. Isn’t it weird though that one of the big indicators of lung cancer is unnatural WEIGHT LOSS???? What’s that?

Should hear this week whether or not our medical aid is willing to fund my new medication. It’s actually a maintenance drug – one to be taken until such time as the tumour grows again. At that point I will have to stop taking it and go back onto chemotherapy. HOLD THUMBS! My energy levels are much higher than earlier in the year although I do still need my afternoon rests. But the good news is that I am EXERCISING again – either walking at a reasonable pace around the neighbourhood with my friend Laura Dison or else on the field at the WALK FOR LIFE program where I was exercising BC (before cancer).

Photo albumming is progressing weekly with Melinda Silverman at the helm, weekly filing of documents courtesy of Barbara Ludman who loves making order out of my chaos, mosaicing/memory boxes with Janice Mendelowitz every Tuesday morning.
During the past month I have had wonderful visits - Christine Winer/ Cape Town, Mungo Soggot/London, Robyn Orlin and Ruby Sunshine/ Berlin, Hilary Toffoli/Cape Town and Janina Pechova/JHB - this list of course excludes those special friends and family who keep in touch with me regularly, daily, weekly and via this site – Mark’s friend Marion Shaer has taken on the Wednesday evening food slot and she will only stop when we tell her to!

Erica Emdon and Laura Dison are highly miffed that we have told them to hold back on food deliveries –they don’t seem to understand that I am now able to cook (something I found difficult when on chemo) and would like to give them some time off!

YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY 50TH BIRTHDAY BASH!

I turned 49 on the 18th March - to all of those who remembered…THANK YOU and to those of you forgot! - better start saving up because I am now planning my 50th in 2007– make sure you are here to celebrate with me – I have all sorts of fabulous ideas flowing through my head – it will be a big SURPRISE – something for me and you all to look forward to. I was spoilt rotten this year – Mark, my mom and the boys bought me a fab new Persian rug which now occupies the entrance hall (see pic of Joe the rock star). On Friday the 17th some of my girlfriends took me for breakfast at Duluxe @ 44 Stanley – on the menu Eggs Florentine to die for followed by a pile of freshly baked chocolate brownies covered in mauve chrysanthemums, candles and sparklers ….and the singing of HAPPY BIRTHDAY (not on the menu). Beading is the new craze here so received many vouchers for beading courses which I think will be wonderfully therapeutic. On Saturday morning, we took my mom and the boys to see the new Pink Panther movie which I admit was rather funny even though the critics couldn’t deal with Steve Martin as Peter Sellers! This was followed up by a sushi salad lunch at Willoughy’s in Hyde Park. And then there was our inaugural visit with Sue and Owen Blumberg to ABBYSINICA – newly opened Ethiopian Restaurant in Melville – if you are into eating crepe bandages (aka injira) and what I think might have been goats’ testicles…then please head that way. My delicate digestive system didn’t seem to mind so it can’t be that bad! BUT HEY! THAT’S ANOTHER REASON I AM NOW ON DIET – TOO MUCH EATING OUT.

I received some glorious flowers from friends and family which feature in some of the photos. Pity that we had to leave them at home during their peak when we headed for a two night stay in the Magaliesberg to celebrate our wedding anniversary en famille – my sister Diane, who sent us the square arrangement, which could be mistaken for a cake (see photo)…suggested we take the flowers with us…no space in the car I’m afraid.
The kids just loved the Sparkling Waters Hotels near Buffelspoort Dam-we didn’t….
You see I think Mark and I have grown beyond heavy lumpy pillows, stained blankets, thin and faded polyester sheets circa 1987 on a mattress with no undersheet as protector and threadbare towels to match. (I usually do an ELLEN ELMENDORP – which involves always taking along ones own pure cotton sheets, puffed up pillows and fluffy bath towels-only packed an hour before we left so just forgot!)

We didn’t complain at the time because we the place was fully booked and we were in passive mode, but when it came to filling in an extensive survey rating service, linen, food and hospitality we made sure they heard us loud and clear –donate the bedding to a desperate charity or burn them. Didn’t want to sign our names in case they called us to come sample a luxury suite for a weekend !. Sam and Joe indulged in all the foods we don’t do at home – piles of roast potatoes with a smidgen of lamb followed by bright pink and blue bubblegum icecream to mention one meal. They could have opted for the SPAHETTI (sic) or the GREEN BEANS AND MASHED (sic) or the ALMOND SCENTED CAULIFLOWER….but they didn’t. In fact at the salad table was a most interesting and inappropriate gadget – called an INSECT-A-CUTER you can imagine what it did to approaching flies, moths, bees and mosquitoes – it zapped and sizzled them –not a pretty picture or sound to have to hear whilst you are helping yourself to the over-mayonaised veggies.
At dusk on the 20th, Mark and I celebrated our 11th anniversary with two tomato cocktails in hand, lying on brand new sky blue fiberglass pool recliners alongside the aged swimming pool - screeching children (not ours) and mosquitoes serenaded us.

Wednesday 22nd February 2006 07.46AM CAT

HEALTH AND TREATMENT UPDATE

Since returning from our brief holiday in Cape Town, on the 9th January, I have had endless tests, scans, doctors appointments, hopes raised, hopes dashed and finally….maybe…. a straightish road ahead.

Firstly I had a chest ct scan which revealed that my tumor had not shrunk, had not grown.
The next step was to have a brain MRI and a bone scan to check for spread to those parts of the body – thankfully all clear – then there was talk of the possibility of having surgery to remove the tumor – so I then had a PET scan - (docs concerned about an enlarged lymph node) - which revealed clear node but not so clear lining of my lung which could still have active cancer cells within and therefore doing surgery is too risky.

I have been so anxious about plotting the way forward, that I developed a twitch in my right eye, endless headaches – which suddenly subsided when the surgeon said there was no way he would risk operating. To make my life more exciting, the brain MRI picked up a sphenoid sinus infection which then required treatment – thankfully it got dealt with via medication and not drainage.

Cant do more chemotherapy at the moment so now my oncologist wants me to try out an oral drug called TARCEVA (I have been asking her to put me on this medication for months but in actual fact it apparently works better where chemo has not been that effective – it is actually a maintenance drug and will hopefully keep the tumor and chest wall cells in check) which targets tumor and not any other cells – the downside is side effects of facial rash/acne and diarrhoea – this drug is not yet registered in South Africa so my doctor has applied to the MEDICINES CONTROL COUNCIL for permission for the pharmaceutical company to bring it into SA for me…then its applying to my medical aid to fund this – all in all a delay of a month. So in steps my sister Diane in Atlanta with a brilliant plan – she has a friend leaving the US for SA this week who was willing to bring me 2 months worth of medication - so if all goes according to plan will begin taking Tarceva as soon as it lands at JHB International. Will keep you all updated with my spotty face as soon as it appears!

In the meantime I am all yawn from dawn till dusk and the more I sleep the more tired I get – could be cumulative effect of chemo – but it is now 2 months since my last session? Could be anaemia so will go for bloodwork tomorrow and check whats happening. I had more energy whilst on chemo – clearly though I was buoyant from the cortisone that accompanies the infusion – am I experiencing COLD TURKEY??

MAMA JAC RULES THE WORLD ORDER OF PHOTO ALBUMS

You probably all know Jacs – my wonderful and dear friend from London who always signs off her messages with WHO IS MISSING YOU WHO?? Well she finally got on a plane to SA with a variety of excuses ….its Ricky Stoch’s Batmitzvah, my dear in-laws in Port Elizabeth need a visit etc AND of course ….. SO DOES GISI!

The day after Ricky’s stunningly stylish batmitzvah (see pic above of Carrie and moi, courtesy of photographer Roz Berzen) @ 14 Greenhill Road, Emmarentia (venue for our wedding in 1995 not to mention home to Carrie, Len and Ricks Raphaely/Stoch), Jacs kissed goodbye her darling hubby Steve and gorgeous gals Chili and Olive – they went to the in-laws in PE, she stayed on in JHB for a few days. She wanted to make sure her visit to me was useful so staring at me over a cuppa green tea and brazil nuts was just not good enough – you see she wanted to put into practice her obsessive compulsive desire to help me put some of my photographs (only those from 1995 when the boys were born and onwards…) into the photo albums I bought yonks ago and had stored in boxes. So for 4 mornings last week, come hell or wheatgrass-induced nausea….we completed 3 albums containing images from our wedding in March 1995 to the boys first birthday in September 1996. YAY! This was not just an exercise in slipping pics under plastic pockets….oh no! it was editing, and then dividing images into 3 groups – one for our album (me and Mark) and one each for the boys…so that in later life, there won’t be any fights over who has what and why there isn’t enough to go round. No music was allowed…too distracting….even catching up on gossip was a NO NO!! Green tea and nectarines however….no problem.

No time for outings to exotic lunch venues or coffee shops…except for Thursday morning – PHEW! mama Jac said “I need to see what the centre of Johannesburg looks like these days” – so after picking her up at her hotel we headed over the Nelson Mandela Bridge and into Newtown – too quiet she said – I want to see hustle and bustle….so back we cruised along Bree Street for a few blocks. Soon I was surrounded on all sides by hooting and impatient minibus taxi drivers not to mention wayward pedestrians criss-crossing their way across my path – I decided she had surely seen enough, turned left onto Rissik Street and headed straight for the quiet and tranquility of Greenlands in Parkview – after a very sensible breakfast accompanied by a tot of ultra healthy and “soooo good for me wheatgrass”, we stopped off at various shops en route to Rosebank. At this point nausea and a pounding headache had set in. Finally got home, threw up, lay down for an hour, threw up again and then proceeded to album again. Then it dawned on me…. I must be allergic – after all my ENT surgeon tested my blood recently for allergies and voila…GREEN GRASS came up – to be avoided at all costs….. including drinking it??.

Now of course I have to continue the task – Jacs showed me good method in her madness, and instructed me to find a bland boring friend to continue the project. Sorry I don’t have any of those I said – but no sooner had I mentioned it to Melinda Silverman, mother of twins Lily and Rosa, wife of Irwin, very busy urban planner, photo albummer of note….she offered to replace our weekly Monday afternoon rendezvous in the shul carpark (over now that her girls batmitzvahs take place this weekend) with a weekly continuation of the photo album blitz – she has even asked if she should bring snacks along! No I responded – I need to lose all the weight I put on now that I am on anti-depressants.

TO JACS IN Port Elizabeth AND SOON TO BE BACK IN LONDON….who is missing you WHO?? The boykies are thrilled to see themselves newly born and suckling at my large breasts, not to mention the fact that they were in utero at the time of our wedding and honeymoon – they wish they were still babies – for them life was so much simpler then…for me and no doubt Mark….it certainly wasn’t!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 11.27 AM CAT

STOP PRESS - NEW PHOTOS ADDED...

Dearest all
Just to update you on my latest scan results:

My tumor is stable and has not grown - ideally I would have liked it to have shrunk but "stability" is also good.

There has been no spread to other parts of the body although still have to have brain and bone scan later this week.

No further chemotherapy for the time being - my body can't take any more right now.

My oncologist is looking into the possibility of putting me on an oral medication which will continue to keep the disease stable.

I will also be going to see my thoracic surgeon to see if it is at all possible to remove tumour with surgery as the pleural fluid seems to have dried up. This procedure is very complicated and might only be considered if the outcome outweighs the risks.

In the meantime we had a short but wonderful family break in Cape Town. Samuel and Joseph reconnected with their American and Capetonian cousins in a BIG way!

The boys are happily back at school, heavy rains have cheered the garden up immensely and there is no shortage of "green" landscape interspersed with a mighty zinnia and cosmos display - not to mention earthworms that for some unknown reason drowned en masse in the swimming pool!

Will update in full and add new photos later in the month.
Thanks for all your love, care and concern.
much love Gisele

Saturday, December 17, 2005 20:16 AM CAT

Greetings from a summery Day of Reconciliation – it’s a month since my last entry and although I do sometimes take the freedom to push deadline dates….please note that this website is updated sort of monthly and not daily as some journos in the Australian outback would like!

Having my last chemo for the year – next week. On Wednesday Mark brought the kids over to the treatment room to see me in action – connected to the drip via the port (how many times must I say MIND MY PORT when all they really want is a close cuddle) and surrounded by wonderful nurses and fellow drippers – I wanted them to visit and get an idea of what happens at “chemo” and indeed they both said at least now they know where I go every Wednesday! The place is light and airy and surrounded by an inner courtyard of plants and a birdfeeder.

Last week I was flattened with exhaustion for about 3 days but when energy re-emerged nothing stopped me from doing crazy things like lining my nose with anti-bacterial nose gel and then heading for the mall to buy smart shoes for the boys who were both in reluctant mode -…Not worth the energy when I need to go to the bank, buy groceries, a few Christmas gifts for the staff at the Oncology centre - and all they want is to compare the prices of playstation 2s. I think they’ve realized that lots of money needs to be saved before they can even think of owning one - mmm that’s Channukah gelt dealt with from my side – they even have the option to forgo Christmas presents if they want and save money from that side too. In the end though…. we did find a really trendy pair of shoes for Sam and some cool flip flops for Joe at which stage I was on the verge of collapse. The restaurant we planned on visiting for lunch doesn’t do Sushi on Mondays so instead we headed home much to my relief!

SO MERRY CHANNUKAH TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE WITH LATKES AND MENORAHS AND A HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE WITH MINCE PIES AND TINSEL – WE DO BOTH! – The fold-up tree was put up today and is groaning under the weight of far too many baubles and beads and of course Mark did his annual stint in the kitchen – gourmet mince pies which I thought were delish but he says the pastry was WRONG – by the time the 25th arrives, his experimentation should be complete as will our longing for these year end treats!

Have had lots of visitors recently – some local, some ex-local like Colin Mendelowitz, now resident in London, always good to see him especially when he tells us how he seriously misses SA…

Last week had a wonderful “girls” lunch at the home of Joy and Athol Margolis – we were meant to have dessert in Joy’s private treehouse (see picture) but some of the other guests had a fear of heights and refused to ascend above a few steps –when I arrived I climbed up …. checked the stunning view and peacefulness and came down again…not even breathless, no oxygen required – don’t think though I could have done it again with a bowl of raspberry sorbet in hand!

SCHOOL AND SHUL AWARDS
Mark and I are extremely proud of Samuel and Joseph – despite all my health issues this year, the strain on our family life, the tears, the need for close comfort, the future unknown …they both did so well at school, receiving awards for consistent exemplary performance throughout the year and academic excellence too. I have to thank my darling spouse for all he did to keep the routines going in our home, the boys never missed one day of school and he supervised their homework almost every day, although I did chip in when he was out of town. Oh yes ….and he cooked too and washed hair occasionally.

And despite their huge lack of enthusiasm and with my immense encouragement the guys both started once a week Hebrew classes in July. It’s all part of a 3 year pre-barmitzvah programme and once again they received awards mainly for effort and progressing with Hebrew reading. The best part for them is of course the tuck shop and for me, its sitting in my car in the carpark catching up and eating samoosas or almonds with my dear friend Melinda Silverman, whose twin daughters are doing the same thing as my twin sons – they of course are almost through and will celebrate their batmitzvahs in February.

THE RAIN BIRD THAT LIVED, THEN LEFT…AND MIGHT NOW HAVE RETURNED…
We loved listening to the call of the Birchall’s Coucal (Rain Bird) that seemed to hide out in our garden – we spotted it high up in a tree just a few days before it was chased by a cheeky Paradise Flycatcher and BOOM! It flew straight into our closed upstairs bathroom window – fell to the ground and was stunned – all witnessed by Mark and the boys who were playing cricket on the grass below. The match came to an abrupt end and the boys crowded round the still - breathing bird – tears pouring down their faces, Mark suggested putting it out of its misery, Joe said how would you like it if you were injured and someone came and killed you …mmm so then we the all sat around and I managed to make a few bird call imitations which did seem to stir some familiarity – the bird did open its eyes and look around but no doubt all it saw was our distraught faces and not a concerned feathered friend – the boys then placed bread, water and a nectarine in front of it and we moved away – next thing it hopped up onto the lavender planter and disappeared never to be seen or heard of again….until today …I spotted either the same bird or its relative – hopping around the undergrowth and then soaring off to the neighbour’s bougainvillea. So a rain bird is back – how I wish it would now rain…..

PUPPETS AGAINST AIDS REVISITED
In 1988 whilst in search of various AIDS stories to document, I came across Gary Friedman, a puppeteer of note, who had developed a travelling show called PUPPETS AGAINST AIDS – from township to schools to rock concerts to the bush and back again…Gary and his troupe of musicians and actors spread the message about safe sex and condoms long before it became fashionable – I of course did my fair share of shlepping along, photographing and videoing. So when Gary, who now resides in Sydney (when he is not travelling the world) arrived in JHB last week he came over for supper. With lap top in tow, he showed us a DVD he had put together of all these shows – not only did the memories come flooding back but he also arrived with about 100 puppets - each in its own draw-string bag which he had recovered from garage storage earlier in the day. He sat on the floor in our entrance hall and one by one these characters starting emerging – whilst he was reminiscing… the boys fled in horror as some of them were quite scarey - eventually some doctor and nurse puppets, who were created to “fight the AIDS VIRUS” were pulled out – Gary said: choose two of them – they will look after you and make YOU better.

AG PLEEZ DADDY…..and MOMMY…..
wont you take us to the drive in – never been there before and Nancy and Feizel, Kamal and Zaki say its fun especially when you have a station wagon…. which we dont – after all its pouring with rain and we want to see the new Harry Potter movie and on the way stock up on greasy Kentucky Fried Chicken….(I prefer Nando’s). At the entrance to the VELKOEN DRIVE- IN still situated off Hans Strydom Drive in Randburg, it says CARS R48/ PEDESTRIANS R16 –

It was dark of course, the rain just a drizzle, and we decided what the hell, lets go for it! –Mark having grown up in the UK had never been entertained in this way before –however…. my childhood in Rustenburg gave us the choice of THE MAANLIG or THE KLOOF –at least nowadays the soundtrack is tuned into your stereo car radio and you don’t have to listen to a crackling speaker shoved through the window –but the boys couldn’t see from the back so Mark and I sat at the back and let them in the front – then Mark couldn’t see because of the headrest which couldn’t be removed and I lost interest anyway so dozed off –

Tuesday, November 15, 2005 21.16 CAT

CHEMO CONTINUES….
My chemo continues weekly and will end on the 21st December – then another scan in January and further treatment to be discussed – on Saturday I was so wiped out with exhaustion that I spent most of the day lying on our bed, dozing and even making a list of important telephone numbers to print up and laminate (something I should have done years ago!)- the good news though is that I have started reading non-cancer related books – escapist ones, ones that take my mind miles away from my reality – not sure why I didn’t do this sooner – was it my poor concentration or a quest to be informed??

Sister Sue was up here from Cape Town recently and spent two nights with us – was great as always to have her around, she made us Sharon Glass’s sushi pie, checked that we still have a stash of her famous home-made pickled cucumbers in the fridge….took the boys to movies, shlepped me around and did all the things special sisters do – LOVE AND CARE!

My sister Diane and her family arrive from Atlanta in mid-December. Recently they participated in a LUNG CANCER AWARENESS WALK - (see the wonderful posters they made under PHOTOS). After a week in JHB they will head down to Cape Town – cousin Matt Margo and his partner Margaret will also be in JHB from the US and so on Christmas Day we will have a family lunch – from NYC comes an order for Pearl’s fabulous French salad not to mention that crème caramel that never survived a thanksgiving cab drive in Manhatten many years ago…..On the 30th December we will then head for Cape Town for a week - leading up to my nephew Daniel’s (son of my brother Phil and Paola) barmitzvah. Looking forward to the fresh sea air, walks on the promenade and the family reunion.

HALLOWEEN WITCH BITCH
We were just not going to be doing Halloween this year– after all …..its not really a South African ritual, its more something our cousins in America do and then send us pictures of them looking creepy, yes…we tricked and treated when you were younger because your friends at nursery school organized their neighbourhood and so did I a few years ago… BUT THIS YEAR…..LET'S JUST FORGET ITS HALLOWEEN OK??? Mmmm the owners of Emmarentia Market Gardens, however… didn’t – they got clever and were selling ready-carved pumpkins for R35 each – we need two mom – ok but then no trick and treating… just displaying of lit pumpkins and a basket of treats for those who come to the front door…OK???

And then I felt guilty looking at Sam’s forlorn and disappointed face. What the the hell! I thought …we would go trick and treating after all…just me and my boys and just in our short street – so after a few LAST MINUTE calls to the neighbours to make sure they had treats for us – I dressed in my long black cleavaged dress, added a red velvet cape, wore a Micky Mouse conical magician hat complete with ears… got Sam to draw a wart on my cheek, put on red lipstick and we were off – just me and Sam, dressed as a medieval executioner – because Joe had lost interest and preferred to stay at home. The whole exercise took us about 15 minutes – mainly because most folk were out and only their unfriendly vicious dogs were on duty to BARK US AWAY – nevertheless we scored BIG TIME –however no one rang our door bell so at about 8.30 pm I packed away the basket of chocs, went upstairs to help Mark settle the boys for the night, got into my pyjamas, took my sleeping tablet– and suddenly a ring at the door – TRICK OR TREAT she squealed (her moms car clearly idling in the background) SORRY I SAID…..YOU’RE TOO LATE – Mark was horrified, so was I – what a bitch am I??… but it was too late - she threw a raw egg against our garage door which we only found in the morning – I was to blame!.

SHAVATHON
Two weeks ago there was the annual public shavathon in aid of CANSA – to raise funds and also to create solidarity and awareness for those of us who have the dreaded C and sport the chemo no hair look –(to think that last year I wished it was still to come – when I had my hair straightened at vast cost and hated the result…)
Anyhow you could either choose to have your hair shaved off or sprayed – I chose neither and preferred to go along as support, with my now 1.5cm precious grey growth none of which I am parting with at this stage!

.. So off we went en famille to the Rosebank Mall where a crew of wannabee scalpers and hairdressers waited eagerly for willing subjects – For R50 Mark had all his gorgeous locks shaved off –they did however leave some stubble so it wasn’t all shiney and bald except of course where shiney and bald pre-existed! And then for R25 each Sam and Joe and their friend Sethu chose the other option – to have their hair sprayed a funky color – that night the silver, green and blue transferred onto their pillows and in the morning all evidence was gone –

We met my friend and fellow photographer Suzi Bernstein there so that she could document the event (she says there seems to be a theme in all the pictures she has taken of me over the months – something to do with HAIR or the lack thereof….could make for an interesting exhibition I think!)
Mark, now looks younger, funkier, although at times could be mistaken for an undercover agent/bodyguard especially when he wears his shades. Last week he went to collect the boys from school, and one of their class mates Shivant came up to him and said OH NO MARK! DON’T TELL ME YOU NOW ALSO HAVE CANCER!

THE VERY TALENTED JANICE M
The very artistic and talented Janice is married to my friend Geoff Mendelowitz whom I met in the 70s through mutual friends in Plettenberg Bay – they live not to far from us, in Victory Park. Geoff works in the same building as Mark (Braamfontein Centre) and his brief is to every now and then take Mark for a drink, a chat and ignore the blonde secretaries. Over the years we have shared holiday houses, we even did a train trip to Cape Town a few years ago….. More recently though we had a delish lunch at their home and I told Janice that I wanted to do memory boxes for my three boys – to be more precise – I want to mosaic the lids of 3 x large wooden toy boxes into which many other boxes containing precious “things” will be stored – she invited me to come and see her home studio where she teaches mosaic and other craft, we then headed for a box factory in Wynberg to buy the various size containers and voila! Work is in progress – To date I have decorated two shoe boxes into which I will put the various pairs of baby shoes I kept for Sam and Joe for all these years – now working on the box for Mark which will contain all our love letters – remember in pre-email times, when long distance relationships meant having a closer relationship with your mailbox….? Having such good fun and its therapeutic too – of course the boys will be roped in to help with the mosaic part during the holidays – but for now I am enjoying the quality time I have with my “teacher” – a time to catch up, create and accomplish my mission.

Still going to weekly art therapy – one week with Sam, the other with Joe – slowly progressing with hand-made books celebrating the 10 years of Samuel and Joseph Turpin – these will of course go into the memory boxes -

THE THINGS I FIND MOST DIFFICULT…
I know you all think I’m incredibly brave and strong and such an inspiration in the face of my illness ….but I think you also need to know that I do have my weepy moments – which can be sparked off by so many small things like:
Seeing a confident adolescent boy with hairy legs, deep voice and handsome face walk past me in Woollies in Plett and I think… will I live long enough to see my boys look like that?

When Samuel gets sad after reading a kids book on cancer and says “Mom…when will you go into remission??”

When Joseph asks me if I will be around in 2015? I respond and say I hope so but cant be sure…why do you want to know darling?? Oh because apparently in 2015 all the presidents around the world are going to implement a program where school children are going to have to care more about the environment – they will have to go and clean parks and rivers… I will be 20 years old, out of school and wont have to do it! YAY!

And when I read the DEATHS column in The Star newspaper and see that in one week, 4 people I know or know of …have died of cancer – one died of lung cancer 8 weeks after diagnosis…

Then there was Sue who had leukemia and who was also on a drip in the treatment room when I had my first chemo on he 3rd May – she gave me so many valuable tips – like how to avoid getting germs – stay away from malls and crowded restaurants, wear a mask or line your nose with nasal gel when you fly, don’t eat re-heated airline food – to honor her, I have suggested to the nurses that we have a journal where fellow drippers can add in their tips, comments, personal chemo experiences and advice.

And Des – he had throat cancer and struggled to speak but that didn’t stop him from being upfront and honest about what he was going through – we met him at the Hoping is Coping course (support group) we did with Denise Bernstein – what strength and humor.

PLEASE NOTE THOUGH THAT ITS NOT ALL DOOM AND GLOOM – I DO HAVE MY VERY POSITIVE DAYS, ONES FILLED WITH OPTIMISM AND ENERGY WHICH DO MOSTLY OUTWAY THE MORBID MOMENTS!

Monday, October 17, 2005 18:37 PM CAT

Dearest all
Due to serious lack of energy….this will be a short update (IF THERE IS SUCH A THING!).
Much love
Gisele

SCAN RESULTS
The good news is that I have responded to the changed chemo regime which I started in July and am continuing with it until the end of December, having a follow-up scan in January. My treatment will then come under review. Of course it would have been stunning if the results revealed the miracle disappearance of my tumor – but it didn’t. – Slight shrinkage and no further growth is cause to celebrate…….but as I am currently so depleted by the cumulative effect of the treatment, I prefer to conserve my energy day by day.

The jacarandas and bougainvilleas are in full bloom, we had our first serious thunder storm of the season on Friday night, and whilst the temperatures fluctuate from the mid 20s to the early 30s there is no doubt that summer is here!

SISTER D IN TOWN, THEN SUE, THEN PHIL
My older sister Diane who lives in Atlanta, USA came to visit for two weeks in September. Always great to have her around especially when it comes to motivating me to do things I have been putting off for months – ….LIKE….finally attempting to put 10 years worth of photographs into photo albums – however got so caught up in a random box of snaps from way back when, complete with ex-boyfriends, parties and a previous life …..even got side-tracked into explaining to Samuel and Joseph who was who and when and why they all had beards in those days etc….the piles are still waiting although D, in a moment of insomnia did manage to fill one album with images from a trip to Cambridge in 1998! And now the table tennis table we bought for the boys for their 10th birthday has had to be cleared of this chore, the photos relocated to floor height – the piles await her visit in December or maybe even before that ….I will get my act together….

D accompanied me to two of my chemo sessions, with knitting in tow – great interest from all the other knitters in the reception area, after all…. the yarns and beads and needles you get in Atlanta have yet to hit our shores – she also very generously knitted fluffy scarves for each of the treatment room sisters who were thrilled. Determined D also managed to organize a day trip to Pilanesberg National Park with Ian Margo (visiting from Toulouse) – metres of faxed maps and directions from other close-by game reserves and their respective brochures preceded this indecision – also because she was told that the Park had been scorched in a veld fire – well seems that leaving JHB at 4.45am on the hottest day of the year paid off – they saw the Big 5 in broad daylight and have pictures to prove it!
She’s a very useful big sister to have…she loves me, cares about me and my family, she can cook, she can drive, she can shop.

And that is not to say that only BIG sisters do this – my younger sister Susan in Cape Town has been unbelievably supportive and attentive to me especially during the past 6 months – she has mobilized many a rabbi in Cape Town and beyond to pray for me. She too is a knitter and when she came up recently to visit me, take care of my mom and her medical needs, she popped by into the chemo treatment room where I was plugged in….next thing…..out came her marshmellow-colored creation which grew row by row as we chatted.

My 80 yr old mom Pearl has just spent 2 weeks in Cape Town with my siblings – she was there for the Jewish Holidays and returned to JHB with my brother Philip and his family on Friday night. Since my diagnosis, my Cape Town siblings have taken turns to come up to Johannesburg every month – not only to see me, but my mom too –such a treat to catch up with them, the cousins and life by the sea. Sister Sue made us an awesome bowlful of her dill pickled cucumbers, and Phil and Paola are big on rocket, tomato and brochetta – not to mention Phils special marinated fillet steak….mmmm

HAMPSTER HEADS WIGLESS FOR A WHALE OF A TIME IN KEURBAAI.
My hair is now growing back (even in places where the sun don’t shine!) mainly because the chemo I am currently doing apparently doesn’t do hairloss – my boys think it’s really cool – looks and feels like a “hamster head” they tell me, stroking my fluff. Some say it looks tres trendy , ja nee….greyish short short hair, lots of makeup and big earrings doesn’t seem to solicit too many stares although the boykies have asked me to avoid coming to their school sans a hat – after all its summer and sunhats rule. The positive thing about being a “hampster head” is that no time is taken up getting hair ready for any occasion, you can have a “bad hair day” without knowing it…..have saved a fortune on those tints, cuts and phew! No more sweaty head.. Eventually…I guess, I will be sharing hairgel with Sam…… competing for “best-spiked” mop. So……Imagine my delight when given the go-ahead by my family to go wigless to Keurbaai/Keurboomstrand!
Although I ordered oxygen and paid for it for both flights, I still don’t know if I needed it or not– at R1000 per route, I wasn’t going to take a chance and wait to find out – so I plugged in and probably avoided inhaling all the circulating germs from fellow passengers – didn’t give a damn about the ag shame factor – staring passengers who have never seen O2 in action..

The weather was mild, at times cold but that didn’t stop us from doing all the things we wanted to - (played General Knowledge, made scoobeedoos, read, walked, admired views, inhaled fynbos, the 3 boys sandsurfed, spotted endless leaping dolphins and frisky breeching whales). We did Monkeyland, Robberg Mountain, Robberg Fisheries, Snake Park, gourmet farm stall Thyme and Again, we saw the Derek/Janet Lubners, the Stochs, my cousin Terry Zoeller and her family, my aunt and uncle Ethne and Lionel – also showed Mark and the boys all the haunts we used to frequent when I was a child. Our first family holiday in Plettenberg Bay was in December 1967 , I was 10 years old –we stayed in a house near Lookout Beach, the rent was minimal - no electricity, brown brackish water. My dad told his brother Lionel, that he had found SA’S best kept secret…..problem is he didn’t keep it to himself – but hey! I have fabulous memories of places visited, lifelong friends met etc. THANK YOU CLIFFORD AND ERICA.

Sunday, September 11, 2005 8.23pm CAT

Friday October 7th, 5.28pm CAT
Hi there - just a quick 'STOP PRESS' to say that Gisele's scans this week have shown reasonably positive progress. Gisele will be doing a full update on this site within a few days.
Mark

Oops! One month later and three days overdue…no need to panic – just have had a rather crowded time, plenty of visitors, a port inserted, more chemo, Mark’s birthday, a one night honeymoon the Westcliff Hotel, the boykies 10th ….

Two weeks ago, my oncologist told me that the colour pink suits me (must be that woven pink wacky jacky head scarf…..tied turban style with tassles on it) and that indeed I am looking well – this past Thursday, when I was then wearing my drab early morning black and white/safe/non-flashy comfy chemo gear, she once again commented on how well I was looking - so it wasn’t just the pretty pink reflecting down my chubby cheeks – you see I haven’t lost any weight since the Milpark in April, and with the help of a little makeup, seriously bright lipstick….MMMmmm, these comments do indeed make me feel good – however before getting too excited ….. will rather wait for the results of my scan in mid-October – by then I will have completed 8 of the current 9 chemo treatments.
From the 23rd Sept till the 1st Oct we will spend week in Keurboomstrand (outside Plett) courtesy of Erica Emdon and Clifford Elk who have kindly offered us their place by the sea to chill out, reconnect, breathe easy, watch whales and sip sea. With the blessing of my pulmonolgist, and with an oxygen canister on order, we plan to fly down to Port Elizabeth and drive along the coast from there – stopping at Storms River for lunch.
Looking forward to a change of scenery, some quality family time and hopefully more energy.
Much love Gisele

MARK GOES TO FRANCE, BOYS GO ON TOUR, WE GO ON HONEYMOON….
It was to be a quiet post-chemo day for me – Robyn Solomon, who was baby-sitting us whilst Mark was in France, kindly dropped the boys at school, I had a long relaxing chakra candle-lit bath and was just about to collapse and relax, when I received a call from the school secretary – please come asap – Joseph has been badly hurt by a thrown stone – unable to drive due to fuzzy chemo brain and what with most of my “ready-to-drive me anywhere” friends out of town for the day – called Robs out of a work meeting, she headed home in her red Renault from Braamfontein, picked a panicked-me up outside the house, we then dashed to find my blood-stained Joe, so bravely calm with gauze-covered eye - sped to the Milpark Trauma Unit. Thankfully, 3 stitches later, just below the eye, me almost passing out next to him…..we headed home to rest and reflect about what could have been….why this happened ……and how to stay calm.

Samuel arrived home later weighed down by a large, most beautifully decorated, hand-made get well card from all Joe’s concerned classmates – endorsed with messages of support, care and concern ……parents followed with phone calls, their kids clearly traumatized by what could have been a most nasty injury. Joe was back at school the next day, a hero with steri-strips and bruising – so brave and determined..until the stitches had to be removed …..not a pleasant event.
And so we are so very proud of our boys, that despite preceding injury and my illness, sleepless nights filled with excitement and anxiety, they insisted on going on the Grade 4, x 3 days and two nights away school tour to Loskop Dam – they slept in a huge dormitory of double-bunks, loved the food on offer and came back, grown men….soon to turn 10!

We of course saw the gap, it was Marks 51st, so the day before he booked us into the luxurious Westcliff Hotel which is approx 2kms from our front door – there we blissed out on good food, fine view and indulged in total opulence from 2pm on the 23rd August until precisely 8.30am on the 24th – whereupon we checked out back to our real lives - I headed for chemo whilst Mark went to work.

WULFSOHNS TRAVEL?
My late father Cecil was an intrepid traveler – he owned a travel agency in Steen Street, Rustenburg – it was called WULFSOHNS TRAVEL - and in order to encourage the local population to head to destinations beyond, he used to host film evenings at the local hotel – there he showed 16mm movies promoting various countries. If you were lucky enough to be on the mailing list, you got a night out complete with movie and food to match – if it was Italy, it was pizzas, if it was Israel, then falafel in pita. Pity though about Mrs Zar whom I overheard whispering to Mrs Weinstock after seeing Israel on screen – “nu we’ve seen it now we don’t need to go there!”

Now that both my work and leisure travel has been somewhat curtailed …..it did occur to me that I should re-open WULFSOHNS TRAVEL - after all, there is commission to be made on every plane seat sold….and with many of my recent visitors coming from distant shores….I could be making a small fortune! For starters….Jeff Seider(Toronto) popped by en route to Plett via Kruger – in the 70s he and his brother Steven gave me easy access to their home-made darkroom, in the yard of their Savoy Estate home – my early pictures were developed there…a great time to reminisce and catch up on our last time together which was before Mark and I got serious, we rendezvoused in NYC, took a Greyhound north and froze our butts off in Toronto, December 1993.

My first cousins Andrew (London) and Rod Margo (Los Angeles) recently took off a week from their very busy work schedules and both came specially to see me. When I was a child, Andy, Rod and Matt were my BIG cousins – they lived in Jo’burg and considered us their country kin…. mainly because we lived miles away…. in Rustenburg – of course when they came to visit all they really wanted was the biltong hanging out to dry in the garage but my sister D and I made sure it was hidden until such time as they acknowledged our presence – many years and countries apart, we are still lovingly connected although don’t see nearly enough of each other. What a treat to have them both all to myself, especially to have them accompany me to chemo. Despite the long wait (4 hours?) Andy became a Soduku expert whilst Rod and I tackled the word puzzle which appears in The Star every day – we actually did well and made up words far in excess of those required! A few days later, I persuaded my friend Ellen Elmendorp to drive us to the very run down and smelly parking lot of Johannesburg Art Gallery in Joubert Park- from there (having left all valuables under lock and key in my study cupboard) we went to view the William Kentridge and David Goldblatt retrospectives, both brilliant shows – we did Saturday lunch at Moyo at the Zoo Lake and bumped into lots of friends and acquaintances – even my mom Pearl joined us. We had Shabbat dinner here on Friday night and by the way…. my brother Phil from Cape Town was here too. Not enough resting time so eventually forced myself to stop…….and so we didn’t manage to get to Lexi’s lunch but Jillian Edelstein did come by on Sunday and sat lovingly at the end of my restful bed to catch up in between her photo shoot in the Valley and a plane to catch back to London. Amazing how one can just pick up where you left off last time round…..of course it helps to be in phone and e-mail contact in between!
A week later Ian Margo (cousin of Andy and Rod and close connection of mine from Toulouse) arrived in SA, so did his sister Susan from Cape Town, not to mention the ”guy from Ghana” (as Samuel referred to him) – John David Dupree linked to all of us through his love and memory of the late great Glen Margo (Ian, Sue and Robin’s brother).

And now my darling sister Diane is here from Atlanta for two weeks – we plan to do video interviews, put photo albums together….all this between my chemo and her cooking, shlepping and ever-present attentive care concern for me and my family..
All this in between resting and gathering more energy for next chemo session on Wednesday.

DRIVING MISS DAZEY
As mentioned previously, I have been advised not to drive immediately after chemo so whilst I do have a very willing pool of friendly drivers who will take me where ever I need to go – I have become a very nervous passenger/ backseat driver/ accident alerter of note – in fact I spent one trip from Sandton to Greenside with Rinky Dison at the wheel – me the passenger in a convoluted distorted position, trying to prevent two “singing” balloons from colliding – these were surprise birthday “gifts” for Sam and Joe, bought at vast expense from a novelty shop, one did happy birthday in HIP HOP style whilst the other did it in ROCK AND ROLL – no amount of separation, avoiding speed humps, pot holes and poor suspension could keep them apart – in fact at times both balloons were singing simultaneously – and all we could do was laugh and block our ears. It was hilarious!

Then there is my ever-caring and attentive friend/almost always available driver and friend who shall remain nameless – so untrustworthy am I of her skills that I insist she drives her car here, moves over to the passenger seat, I then adjust the mirrors and horizontal seat and drive us safely to my destination – in desperation I once allowed her to collect me from chemo- all went well until we turned into Quimet Street and my neighbour and her almost collided – EEK!

PORT PUT IN
Because I am now having chemo weekly, the veins in my hands have almost collapsed –around the treatment room I chatted to various “port” holders and they all assured me this was the best way to go – chemo would be so much more manageable they told me – And so last Monday morning I had this gadget inserted under general anaesthetic, below my left collar bone – and on Wednesday I had my chemo administered through it – no burning, no pain…in fact I thought – YAY! But until the stitches come out next week I have to walk around like a wounded deer, in fear of my bra strap or bath water coming into contact –it is kind of itchy and uncomfortable but I think in the long run….this is the way to go for now!

Tuesday, August 9, 2005 08.15pm CAT

Greetings all –
HAPPY NATIONAL WOMENS DAY TO YOU ALL!-
By now you have probably lost total interest in this website….no more regular updates or fun pics …..well don’t give up on me just yet – this is all part of a process where deadlines, time management and making meetings just don’t feature –partly because my life is now more about resting for at least an hour in the afternoon, listening to visualization tapes, spending quality time with the family and having friends visit one at a time – . Oh yes not to mention a tooth abscess scare this past week and feeling like bacteria is enemy No.1 …and all the various doctors appts which require major energy and plenty of waiting around -.its all sooooo boring – but this is my current full-time unpaid job!
Much love Gisele
PS As this journal entry lacks in serious gourmet detail – let me just inform you that for our picnic today at Emmarentia Dam with the Silverman/Manoims, I made the following:
Babaganoush, Jamie Oliver’s grilled courgettes with chilli, mint, garlic and lemon, and strawberries dipped in chocolate for dessert – Mark bought a roast chicken from Woollies and Melinda arrived with roasted leg of lamb, sharp knife and cutting board – not to mention many other Bread Basket delights.

CHEMO, WHITE BLOOD CELLS, RED MEAT and MAHARISHI AMRIT KALASH
One of the reasons I absolutely adore my dietician is the fact that she has told me NOT TO LOSE WEIGHT – she was thrilled to see that following my first consult in early May, that I have indeed neither lost or put on weight –Don’t for one minute think that I have turned into some mega health conscious freak….have just more or less followed her suggestions, avoid refined sugar most of the time(dark choc now and then) and eat 5 smallish meals a day – when I am not nauseous from the chemo I merrily enjoy the meals that my friends drop off – whether its bolognaise sauce from Laura Dison, lamb stew from Erica Emdon, soup or beef fillet from Melinda Silverman, fried soles from Carolyn Raphaely to mention but a few on the current food chain – we do by the way also eat tofu, veggies and fruit.

I couldn’t have chemo two weeks back due to my white blood cells being too low – this is what happens when you have weekly treatment – so have been told to eat lots of red meat by the oncologist and have also been having 2 x teaspoonsfuls daily of an ayurvedic paste called Maharishi Amrit Kalash – highly recommended by my dietician – my bloods last week showed major improvement so lets hope the trend continues – biltong strictly forbidden due to bacteria – oh yes have been told by the nurses at the oncology center to avoid movies, malls, restaurants for fear of coming into contact with fluey folk – even have to watch the kids who thankfully haven’t been too sick this winter.

MARK TAKES LEAVE, ROBS MOVES IN, AND I TAKE NOTE
Mr Goodhealth himself – my darling Mark -is heading to Bordeaux, France on Wednesday, for his cousin Ben’s wedding – he will be gone for a week – a well deserved break from us….to be relaxing with his parents, brothers Francis and Paul, their families, his aunt Theska and his many cousins who will gather for the occasion. I am of course mightly jealous that he will be sipping wine or drinking beer in the three pubs his brother owns in the city, whilst I just drip chemo - but hey! during the last week of September, we are heading for a family holiday in Keurboomstrand outside Plettenberg Bay. My oncologist has said she will work my chemo around this time and has also given me the go-ahead to fly – (blood clots now dissolved, still on blood thinners)

My dear friend Robyn Solomon, who used to share my house in Yeoville and who is sadly soon en route to live in the land of OZ, will be coming to babysit us – not only will she have to help with homework, play THE SIMS with Sam and Joe…she has very kindly offered to take the boykies to school at 7am provided she can do so in her pyjamas – hopefully not in her sleep though!

MAX MARA DOES MONATE
Janet Isaacs and I go back to 1970, Kingsmead College in fact – me the unhappy homesick boarder from Rustenburg – she the day scholar who lived down the road (and subsequently emigrated en famille to London in the early 70”s.). The Isaacs home in Jamieson Avenue, Melrose became a safe haven for me and my sister Diane – on those weekends when my parents couldn’t make it up for a half day “outing” – we were fed, loved and cared for by her parents and siblings in such a special way. Despite the passing of 35 years, Jan and I have always remembered each others birthdays and kept in touch via letters in the olden days. now email and phone.

Fast forward to July 2005 – Jannie announces a weeklong visit to SA (after an absence of 12 years) to visit her aunt, cousins and me of course –and so not only did she accompany me to one of my chemo sessions - she joined us for our weekend away to Monate Game Lodge in the Waterberg. Not many women I know can claim to own a Max Mara coat, let alone one that is well camouflaged in the bush – oh yes whilst we wore our tried and tested khakis, browns and greens, she insisted that the only way she would survive a game drive at dusk or dinner round the camp fire would be to wear that camel colored coat – so apparently untouched by the dust and smoke ….she wore it on the plane home- hopefully by now she has considered a trip to the dry cleaners.

My boys fell in love with her instantly and thought her to be very kind and funny – I of course think she is the warmest, generous, humorous most special school friend a girl can have – Alan Gottlieb her husband, of equal wit and charm, is a lucky man.

YOU CARING FOR ME MAKES MY DAY
I had forgotten about how my daily dose of www.caringbridge.org/africa/g came to feature so prominently in my life…so when my close cous Matthew Margo who lives in NYC and works for CBS called last week, I asked him to remind me of its origin.

It all began when I was in hospital back in early April – we were all in shock regarding my diagnosis – everyone was concerned and wanted to find out how I was doing – Mark was inundated…My close friend and computer boffin of note-Leonard Stoch- kindly offered to set up a website to host my health updates …but little did he realize that he too would be inundated – meanwhile miles away Matt was reading the messages posted on the original site and was amazed at your powerful messages of encouragement, love support – he mentioned this to his significant other, Margaret, who then told him about Caring Bridge and how it had helped another friend who was ill – Matt passed on the info to Len and so the site migrated – in fact Matt was so inspired by the amazing response the site provided for me, that he called Caring Bridge and asked them if they had a Public Service Announcement (PSA) – they had recently produced one and so with CBS’ approval it has now been broadcast at least 40 times on CBS Television Network – Because of me and because of you, because of Len and Matt, ….CaringBridge has now touched the lives of millions more Americans who now know of its existence – Thank you, thank you and thank you – now don’t stop posting messages – we log on first thing in the morning – no new messages is as disappointing a non-blinking answer phone so…..please stay in touch – it means so much to me.

DR ANNE AND THE HEALING POEMS
I don’t really know Anne Stanwix very well, although she too was a Kingsmeadian, is a highly reputable Arthritic specialist physician, is married to the slightly more famous William. She also apparently treats her patients with copies of healing poems (apart from other serious more conventional medicine!)

I was totally blown away when Melinda Silverman recently hand delivered, on her behalf, two informative and inspirational cancer-related books for me to read– when I phoned to thank her, she asked me if I like poetry – of course I do – and so 3 deliveries later…always accompanied by a beautiful black and white photo card with message,.I now feel totally versed in Raymond Carver, Mary Oliver and James Fenton.

In fact when we were in the Waterberg recently, high up outside a cave above the lodge where we were staying, I read some of the poems aloud to Mark and Janet Isaacs – they were delighted and so were the blesbok sipping at the waterhole in the distant below.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 10.01 PM CAT

Greetings all – Apologies for being absent without leave! Since I received those disappointing scan results, I kind of retreated, self-indulged and basically “went missing” - according to Mark – but now that the pity party is over – time to reconnect and let you know that I am back on track, except for now having chemo weekly every Wednesday (new combo) – not as toxic as the last so hopefully this will work.
Depending on how I feel, might only be updating once a month – this is of course more frequent than many of the websites that I visit…..one American Cancer site was last updated in August 2004 and plenty has happened in terms of new drugs etc since then.

HUNTERS REST, SIBLINGS AND COUSINS COME VISIT, PAKCHOI AND THE PERLEMOEN POLICE; CELL RECEPTION, MASAI WARRIORS, BIG WIG BAG DELIVERY FROM KZN; JANKELSONS IN TOWN.

HUNTERS REST, SIBLINGS AND COUSINS COME VISIT

Our last weekend away was at the beginning of July and so we decided to try out Hunters Rest Hotel just outside Rustenburg – my brother Phil, his wife Paola and their 3 kids were up here from Cape Town and staying with her parents in Rusties – we therefore were invited to join them for a magnificent homemade Italian Sunday lunch (apologies to those who find my journal too food orientated – won’t go into details in case you start salivating) - which far surpassed all the morsels on offer at Hunters. Mark, Samuel and Joseph had a ball swimming in the heated pool, playing putt putt, working out in the gym, the kids were devastated when we had to leave. We also managed to visit Grandpa Cecil’s (my late dad) grave set in the dry bushveld on the outskirts of Rustenburg. I picked two lemons off one of many lining the driveway to the hotel and placed them on his tombstone (my dad loved lemons) – the boys preferred daisies and Mark a stone. My mom Pearl (80yrs old) joined us for one night and we managed to get her playing table tennis almost as well as when she was a champ in her youth in Alexandria (Egypt).

My younger sister Susan who lives in Cape Town too and her two boys Josh (14) and Adam (8) were also in Johannesburg recently en route to Israel for the Maccabi Games. Josh was selected to play in the SA junior cricket team and they won Gold. The apparent unbearable heat and humidity in Tel Aviv has caused young Adam to be very ill with dehydration and fever so Sue is spending much of her time attending to him and trying to get suitable medical attention. I hope he will be well enough to travel home on Friday.
Whilst my siblings were in town we had a meeting and put in place a schedule for them to come and visit my mom more regularly – she still lives alone in her townhouse in Rosebank but will increasingly be needing more help – unfortunately I cannot take all this on right now and nor can I expect Mark to – so they have agreed to get more involved which is a huge help.

PAKCHOI AND THE PERLEMOEN POLICE
Whilst Philip was visiting, I agreed to accompany him to China Town in Derrick Rd, Cyrildene to search for the metal mechanism which fits under a “lazy Susan” (revolving small table found in most Chinese restaurants). He wanted 8 of these to use for his window displays in his jewellery studio/shop in the Cape Quarter …and so our expedition began. I hadn’t been to this part of town recently so was totally amazed how few people spoke English never mind understood what we were looking for – we went from restaurant to supermarket …at least 15 of them – the shops were packed to the rafters with all sorts of fascinating sauces, noodles and even fresh live octopus – we walked in, headed straight for the kitchenware shelf, tried asking questions and then ducked out again – with Phil in his jacket and shades and me in my regular bandana and white rimmed sunglasses (biker chic style) I think the locals thought we were undercover or for that matter not so undercover…Perlemoen Police – with not another westerner in sight, we would pass a restaurant, Phil would tilt his head to check on the mechanism under the lazy Susan - which we subsequently got told is called a “”serving table” – he would then ask the owners for contact details of their suppliers – NO LUCK! The closest we came was finding a mechanism which was the wrong size but getting a promise of more of the correct size arriving on a ship container in a months time.

What we did manage to buy though, was wonderfully fresh Pakchoi and Chinese cabbage which was in abundant supply at the street market. Phil indulged in a bag of dried squid not realizing how much monosodium glutamate was used to make them tasty and moreish. I abstained for fear of complicating my fragile stomach.

CELL RECEPTION & MASAI WARRIORS
It’s not easy…come holiday time and some of your nearest and dearest friends are out of the country never mind beyond regular cellphone contact. Texting is tiring at the best of times and this too was just not sufficient for Ms Raphaely (Carrie to me and many others) who was on a bush safari up north with husband Lenny and daughter Ricky – experiencing first hand what we will only ever get to see on Animal Planet or National Geographic channel – the migration of animals up through the Serengeti crossing to the the Masai Mara – so imagine how stunned I was…. to out of the blue…receive a call from her – she was apparently standing on top of a hill at night in deepest wildest Kenya, being guarded from possible animal attack by a Masai Warrior armed with a spear and a torch…the next time she called was from the top of a light house in Chumbe, an island off the coast of Zanzibar and the last time we spoke….. she was staring at a turquoise sea and blonde beach from her daybed at some rock star hideout – yet another idyllic island off the Zanzibarian coast – not easy for her to hear of my scan results at a muffled distance…not easy for me to hear about the blissful scenery surrounding her…

BIG WIG BAG DELIVERY FROM KZN
Got a call last week from ex-Durban based artist Bronwyn Findlay whom I have never met but have heard about and seen her artwork. She told me she had a parcel for me from Tony Stephen in Durban – mmm that’s strange I said – haven’t been in touch with him for a while – does he know about my illness or is this just a coincidence…..a parcel…a big heavy parcel was delivered – beautifully wrapped with colorful strings –it soon revealed a stunningly largish fake crocodile yellow and maroon bag –for my wig he said – but that was not all – inside the bag more wrappings – and messages and wonderful thoughts from him and his wife Susan and his gallery co-owner Maria (Tomasa Gallery, Overpoort). The contents were as follows – 6 x blue tumbler drinking glasses from Checkers; 6 multi colored candles set in small clay pots, a pale yellow pom-pommed silk scarf, a miniature bottle of Jack Daniels for Mark, multi colored pens for the kids, a brass ring with an aeroplane perched on it…to mention but a few of the treats! I felt like I was at a pass the parcel birthday party –Tony is a very dear and special connection of mine dating back to art college in the 70s – we have mutual friend Alberto Silva who lives in Maputo – we see each other when I go to Durban for work or holiday –and he insists that he will continue sending me images of aeroplanes until I get on one and come visit again.

JANKELSONS IN TOWN….briefly…
Felt most privileged to receive a 76 minute visit from Jeff and Laura Jankelson who were en route from Port Elizabeth and East London back to Sydney. Amazing how despite the distance and span of time, we can just pick up where we left off 4 years ago –gossip about the good old days of Trent Lodge and what has since happened to all the various now emigrated inhabitants. Admittedly e-mail has bridged the gap not to mention numerous calls that Jeff has made to me since my diagnosis – his invaluable medical, homeopathic, and naturapathic knowledge has helped me decide about many alternative healing options – putting chemo in full focus and leaving the rest for later.

And on that subject…may I just add that I subsequently received a bandana which their daughter Janey bought for me in Port Elizabeth – its pure cotton, white with green dagga leaves on it –and looks good on Mark! Yes I do have a stash of that stuff to maybe infuse and drink one day should chemo nausea be unbearable, and yes I did receive a hemp hat from Mark’s nephew!

(Ed: for those of you in SA who wish to see Gisele’s Miss Stigma-free/HIV feature shot in Botswana in January, check the August edition issue of Marie Claire magazine).

see also new pics...

Wednesday, July 6, 2005 9.08 AM CAT

‘The View from the Husband’

Today’s update will be written by me – partly to alleviate the pressure on Gisele! And also because it is my turn. I need to confess upfront that I cannot aspire, nor will I attempt, to write with Gisele’s wit, colour and passion. Realising that at the end of reading this you will no doubt be clamouring for Gisele’s return, I nonetheless hereby tread gingerly in her footsteps!

It was a difficult week for us last week as Gisele’s scan showed that her first 3 chemo treatments had not managed to have as much impact on the tumour as we had hoped. Despite this setback, her lungs have showed significant improvement in that the blood clots have dried up and there is only very little fluid remaining on her right lung – so we take that as positive. Gisele remains strong physically and mentally and we move forward.

Since the scan Gisele has focused on getting the best advice on the next steps, and has been in contact with top specialists who can advise, as well as her own pulmonologist and oncologist. She will be starting a new chemo combination next week as we move to a new plan.

We had a good weekend away at Hunter’s Rest in Magaliesburg with the boys, and G’s mother Pearl joined us as well. Being close to Rustenburg, we also met up with G’s brother Philip and his family as they are up from Cape Town. Joe and Sam loved the facilities as Hunter’s Rest, which included an open air heated pool, table tennis, billiards and a gym – I was able to teach the boys some of the finer points of holding a cue stick and both showed an early aptitude for table tennis. In fact Pearl also surprised us by demonstrating that at the age of 80 she has not lost her flair for table tennis and is still able to spin the ball and score some points against me!

This website has been a huge source of strength and comfort for us. We really appreciate all the messages – even if we have not individually responded to everyone as yet. We feel part of a worldwide community that includes so many of you from Africa (South and places north), the US, Australia, the UK (and not forgetting Scotland), Ireland, Holland, France, Austria, Greece, Israel, Canada, Spain, Ulan Batar and no doubt some other places as well. There are also many others who read the site but have felt more comfortable being in touch directly by post or by phone, rather than by posting public messages, and whose support and love is also hugely valued.

No new pictures will be posted this week, and normal service will be resumed in due course!

Monday, June 27, 2005 2:46 PM CDT

JOURNAL UPDATE – 26TH JUNE 2005

Greetings from the close of a very good day – no pain, no nausea, no serious exhaustion. Friend David Dison brought along Janet and Derek Lubner (visiting from Cape Town) for late morning tea. David was accompanied by his son Adam and a warm bowl of freshly prepared tofu and tomato prepared by his most wonderful wife Rinky who makes sure we don’t starve! The Lubners brought along a wicked box of Lindt chocolates which my boykies were inquiring about later but I have hidden them carefully!

For some reason the kitchen which has clearly missed my presence in recent months persuaded me back…. and so I decided to do lunch – first I made what I thought to be a most creative, “no recipe used” miso soup (rejected by all except me!), followed by gently pan-fried free range chicken breasts dipped in powdered almonds and herbs which some of the family ate as is with veg, whilst others used tomato sauce as a heavy disguise.

I also briefly flicked through the Sunday papers, needed to rest thereafter, then took photographs of the magnificent magnolia tree that fills the view from all the upstairs rooms and then had more friends for afternoon tea - Gillian Findlay and her two children who live round the corner from us, and Lorna Ferguson. Gillian was at school with me at the dreaded Kingsmead College 35 years ago, Lorna, newly qualified lawyer, is the wife of my dearly departed friend and photo colleague Andrew Meinjes – she was accompanied by also-bald (age) dogchild Pumpkin who spent the entire time curled up and asleep on the chair whilst we enjoyed nibbling fresh strawberries and ginger biscuits hand made with love from Robyn Hersch. Mark popped in and out but mainly spent time installing our new home computer. The kids jumped on the trampoline, played basket ball, rode bikes and then headed for the tv…..How I hate all these screens that now try and dominate their attention.

Am having my CT scan on Tuesday morning which will determine whether or not my tumour has shrunk and also whether or not the multiple blood clots have dissolved. Please send as many positive vibes as possible to the Milpark X-Ray dept – not sure when I will get results – but either way will post them on the site as soon as I know –please please don’t phone me – I am trying to be very hopeful amidst well hidden anxiety and will let you know asap.
In the meantime read on!
Much love
Gisele

THE CATERPILLAR AND THE TEA POT
Jac Palmer, (whom some of you may identify as the WHO’S MISSING YOU WHO.???? correspondent on this site,) called from London a few weeks ago to tell me that her husband Steve would be passing through JHB to visit me on his way back home via Port Elizabeth - YAY! What could she send me other than Chinese Herbs …which I rejected – a hat of sorts was my response…… not for one minute thinking she would then go on a major shopping spree and send me all the latest from Accessorize – so now my headgear collection has gained in options – a floral and very trendy expandable cotton headband which Sam and Joe told me I could definitely not wear now as it showed off my baldness at the back, a pale cotton retro cap which Mark says looks fab and very 60’s - will wear this in summer as I now need winter woollies to keep me warm and then two stunning wrap scarves in various shades of pink. All this and a beautiful jade green crystal lariette.!

So I met Steve accompanied by Butch Orlin for lunch at MOYO IN THE MAKING – a new branch of the original MOYO under construction at the Zoo Lake. The place was buzzing with a roaming Senegalese singer on guitar, happy families, kids with bikes, a vast selection of small and big dogs on leashes and – the weather was balmy and perfect for sitting under the tall trees. I was totally flattered when… upon setting eyes on me in my wig, Steve announced that I looked so great that I had to be “faking” my illness. MMM – I wish!

We ordered chicken tagine and Butch had an ostrich burger – eventually my pot of green tea arrived – Steve was in love – no! not with me or Butch or baby Benjamin! but with the large terracotta tea pot – the waiter was called over and he asked if they were for sale? No new ones sir but would you like to buy a newly used one? They are made in Salem near Grahamstown and sport a real rough wooden handle which has been screwed on. So if people can carry giraffes wrapped in bubble wrap onto the plane – why can’t you carry a tea pot said Butch to Steve who already had more hand luggage than he could manage. PS YOU MIGHT WONDER WHERE THE CATERPILLAR FITS IN?? – Steve is the founder and brains behind CAT shoes and accessories!

NO HUGS OR KISSES THIS WINTER,,,,PLEASE!
Now that chemo has totally destroyed my good and bad cells (hopefully) my immune system is totally compromised, I have already been on a course of antibiotics when I picked up a cough from Joe so now I am being ultra cautious – no more crowded enclosed spaces, no more peak hour movies, no more hugs and kisses other than those I continually share space with – Mark, Sam and Joe. Please please don’t be offended if when you approach me with open arms, I reject the gesture with my mantra: SORRY NO KISSING AND HUGGING ALLOWED– followed up by a whole explanation of how I cant afford to get sick with the flu – you get sick, I get sicker.

Of course I want to kiss and hug you all – you have been so wonderful and caring and for those of you who live in SA and have been to visit I just see that disappointed look in your faces – I too feel THAT WAY – but I think you do understand that I need to look after myself right now. And when its all over we can kiss and hug and celebrate……I PROMISE!

BEST HUSBAND, FATHER, FRIEND, CAREGIVER ETC
I have to tell you all that I am blessed to have met and married and had children with the most extraordinary man ever, MARK TURPIN. I have never doubted his love and care for me, Samuel and Joseph but have to add that under the current circumstances he has been so available to my every need – he has so graciously dealt with my many mood swings, my nausea attacks, massaged my achey back and limbs, run up and down the stairs many times tp bring me things like reading glasses, oxygen tanks, bowls of soup, cleaned up, accompanied me to endless doctors appointments, sorted out this website…to mention but a few of his extraordinary talents – HE HAS RECENTLY STARTED LIFTING WEIGHTS IN THE COMFORT OF OUR BEDROOM TO SHOW ME HOW STRONG HE IS….AND FINALLY CASHED IN HIS 50TH BIRTHDAY GIFT VOUCHER FROM ME –A BRAND NEW ROYAL BLUE ROAD BIKE WITH ACCESSORIES TO MATCH!- LOVE YOU MARK! (And by the way, for those who have asked, he has been using reading glasses for the past year – definite sign of ageing!)

Sam and Joe too have been so loving and supportive – honest in their innocence. We talk very openly about my diagnosis which has enabled them to ask questions and talk without fear. Joseph has become my weekly blood test buddy when he isn’t attending school – he holds my hand and watches the syringe go in and reports if the blood is pumping through or not – I refuse to look. I have taken them both but separately to art therapy classes which we are thoroughly enjoying – I too am delighted to be drawing and painting and creating on paper other than photographs – 28 years since I graduated from the Johannesburg College of Art. I am spending as much quality time with them as possible – we have serious “snugglation” time in bed each morning and evening – they are both doing very well at school – obviously there are times when they are insecure and not happy to go places without me or Mark – they prefer play dates to be at our house – we have been advised to be on the lookout for stress signals and of course we will take therapeutic action when necessary – in the meantime they are looking forward to big cousin Jonathan’s (Turpin) return from Durbs where he fled after returning from Lake Malawi to freezing cold JHB.

We will also be heading for Rustenburg this weekend to meet up with my brother Philip and his kids – Sister Sue will also be passing through JHB on her way to Israel next week. Her eldest son Joshua is playing for the SA junior cricket team at the Maccabi Games. The boykies get on well with young Adam (8) so they have plenty to look forward to.

INTERPRETING PRUDENCE, ZANELE AND ME ON THE DREAM BOAT
Eighteen months ago I offered to take photographs for Prudence Mabela – AIDS activist/sangoma – whom I have got to know and really like ever since meeting her at various times through my work in the HIV/AIDS field . It was her traditional sangoma initiation ceremony which was held at her grandmother’s house in Wattville township outside Benoni.. A few months later she called and we planned to get together so I could give her the photos – we had to cancel and never really reconnected until she called me last Friday morning to tell me she had a dream about me – was it good or bad was my first question – it started off bad and ended good she said – we met later that morning for coffee/green tea and I finally handed over the photos. So tell me more about the dream I demanded having already told her of my diagnosis. Well it was me, you and another friend Zanele on a boat in Zimbabwe – could have been on Kariba Dam or the Zambezi – and then the boat started sinking – we called for help to people on the shore – they came towards us but were only interested in stealing our bags and not saving us – so I shouted at them and told them they had to save us too which they finally did – end of dream.
I was blown away! Obviously I interpreted it via my illness – doom and gloom and survival –her dream followed on my mine a few days earlier – I dreamt I was kidnapped and turned into an assassin complete with black leathers and mask – was to be sent on a mission – could have been inspired by reading a review of the movie Mr and Mrs Smith – but once again my therapist said – interpret via whats happening in your life – oh yes! I said – lots of things that need to be assassinated – bad cells, tumours etc – I have a job to do!

Monday 27th June 2005, 8.54am CAT (Central African Time)

There are some new pictures now, and Gisele's update should follow within 24 hours or so...

Dearest all
Apologies for another delay in updating this site – today however this will be a BUMPER ISSUE of hilarious and some serious snippets of our current lives – had my 3rd session of chemo today (same cocktail as before – can’t include new drug Avastin until I have dealt with blood clots in the lung which will hopefully by next CT scan have been dissolved by the blood thinning medication that I am currently on) - Chemo side effects will set in soon so while I have energy…..enjoy!

On a more political note – I am delighted that our president Thabo Mbeki has sacked his corrupt deputy Jacob Zuma – I am not that happy though, that Michael Jackson got off totally scott-free!

Much love and once again, please know that your messages and encouragement continue to be a great source of strength for me! Aluta Continua. From now on …updates will be on Mondays so that I can include weekend.
Much love
Gisele

GALLERY GALAVANT, WIG GOES FOR WASHING,
THE QUIET MOUNTAIN GOES MISSING, SIBLINGS SPLIT FOR SLEEPOVER, KULFI ICE CREAM SURVIVES JOURNEY FROM ATHOL TO GREENSIDE

GALLERY GALAVANT
Two Saturdays ago my friend Sue Fox and I were due to go to a movie in the early morning, via the Milpark Hospital where I needed to go for a blood test (Warfarin –blood thinner monitoring). When she arrived to pick me up I suggested that instead of doing the movie, which would mean us sitting in total silence for 2 hours probably in the company of fluey folk….we should rather go and explore the many art galleries in the Parktown North, Dunkeld and lower Rosebank area – so often I get invites to exhibition which I would like to see but never do. I knew this expedition would require more physical energy so I came armed with my mobile oxygen unit which would surely resucitate me if need be - thankfully never needed it – we had such fun starting off at MOMO with huge photo and video installations by a woman whose name I cant remember nor pronounce….. followed by the more sober Everard Read with an eclectic mix of the who is who, and the wannabees in painting and sculpture. We then headed to David Krut Fine Art on Jan Smuts Avenue to view brilliant collaborative etchings by William Kentridge, Claire Gavronsky and Rose Shakonovsky – the gallery looks like zero from the outside but on the inside is a wonderful hanging space, printing press and library – next door is Warren Siebrits Contemporary exhibiting prints from the Rorkes Drift collection – OUTSTANDING! We avoided the William Kentridge opening at he Goodman Gallery –to avoid the crowds who might have the sniffles and pass them onto my compromised immune system, but also who gets to really see the work when the place is crowded. And no expedition would be incomplete without food and drink and so Sue revealed a little secret – the retro furniture and lighting shop on the corner of Jan Smuts and Bolton TINKER TOWN have a fine little restaurant inside –the very friendly owner suggested a goats milk and lovage salad for me and Sue had a pumpkin and cumin soup with espresso to follow. I stuck to my new favorite… must have… green tea! And the best part of all is that we had quality time together, enjoying and analyzing the art work but also talking about the big C – a subject Sue is sadly most well acquainted with.

WIG GOES FOR WASHING
What a pleasure to drop off “my hair” in a plastic bag at the hairdresser, to collect and fit and style a few days later…oh yes I do miss the head massage and idol chatter but hey! it was real cheap and the end result fab as usual – Our nanny Sharon Khoza even remarked that I looked better than before the cancer….mmm the wig is more voluminous than my former curls it seems but by all accounts it looks like the real thing.
Early on Friday afternoon Mark and I headed off for our weekend at Quiet Mountain, me wearing the wig which gave me a bit of a headache, not to mention the nausea and dizziness that had set in early in the morning – the goddamn pain control medication seemed to be taking ages to relieve me of the symptoms – but finally we arrived (one and a half hours later) to be met at the gate by one of the owners John Nelson-Berg. At dinner time we met up with Melinda and Irwin Silverman/Manoim who joined us for the weekend. John came up to me and re-introduced himself –I told him we had already met at the entrance earlier to which he responded – Oh my gosh have you changed your wig?….Oh dear, this man had some kind of radar I thought and so I quickly checked with Mark and Melinda whether the wig did look wiggish or what?? I was rather unnerved. At breakfast next morning I was sporting one of my many bandanas with whisps of remaining hair peeping out at the back and round the ears – kind of not too obvious that baldness was beneath…any how ….John asked how I slept – very well I said and only woke at 7.30am instead of the usual 6am – my god he responded what do you do at the unearthly hour of 6am – style your wig? MMMmmm my “secret” was clearly visible but what the hell – I was there for a quiet weekend and any reference to my wig was just not going to ruin it. However just before we left on Sunday I thought I would just check in with John about the references to my wig so I asked him if when he made that initial comment on Friday night…did he really know I was wearing one…he looked puzzled and said he often makes off hand remarks about peoples hair looking like wigs etc…I then told him why I was wearing a wig and bandana and a beanie and he was so embarrassed and apologetic…needless to say when I signed the guest book I said – next time we come to stay I hope to arrive sans le wig!

THE QUIET MOUNTAIN GOES MISSING
Woke up late on Saturday morning mainly because we had such abnormally peaceful uninterrupted sleep- well not me really with my far too regular nocturnal loo visits which Mark wasn’t even aware of, because by now he was sleeping at the other end of the large king size bed –At 7.30am we opened the curtains and WOW! the mountain was gone – covered with heavy mist! Most beautiful and yay! All the winter woollies I had packed would definitely be appreciated by Mr PackLightly and me.

Quiet Mountain is a country house run by two lovely guys who have delightfully feng shuied every bathroom complete with afghan rug, bedrooms srurrounded by prints and paintings and embroideries, porch – complete with red polish, cat basking in sun and evidence in the morning of a nocturnal visitor yet to be identified, dining room – flaming fireplace, huge arrangements of tiger lilies, and elephant lamp walls painted dark granny smith apple green, upstairs library – cosy and bulging with books, magazines current and ancient, pics of Jan Smuts and various portraits of unkown men and woman, games room, garden – with various buddhas, pepples, benches, swans sailing on the lake. This is heaven – contact me for details should you ever need a break from crime, work, the city…not to mention the kids…whom you will no doubt miss and talk about all weekend!
After a delish breakfast Melins and I left the boys to play snooker in the games room and I showed her round the garden and then we explored the dam, the field and the cow milking shed– we nibbled, rubbed and smelled our way through the veggie and herb garden, the rocket was deevinely peppery , the spinach healthy, happy and abundant , the grapefruit bitter and tangy, Finally we convinced all that a walk to the mountain was a good idea – it usually takes an hour and a half but I knew I could only walk a few metres and would turn back when tired – and so after 1km I said I needed to turn back – this was the longest walk since BC(2kms in total although not measured exactly by a pedometer) and I didn’t want to over do it – well nor did the others…they turned back too and so we all spent the rest of the day, talking, eating, and reading – I am thoroughly enjoying a hilarious book by Jodi Rodgers called BALD IN THE LAND OF BIG HAIR – about her journey with cancer- Mark read Lance Armstrong’s ITS NOT ABOUT THE BIKE. Melinda and Irwin are very special weekend companions – we did the Polana in Maputo, Mozambique in October last year to celebrate Mark and Irwin’s 50th birthdays – and this year we were meant to go to VIC FALLS in Zambia for a weekend but because of my pulmonary emboli on the lung - I cant fly or do Malaria tabs right now- Quiet Mountain was our next option.

SIBLINGS SPLIT FOR SLEEPOVER
Sam and Joe have never ever been apart from each other for more than a few hours at a time …..when we planned our weekend away sans enfants we assumed that they would both be happy staying with their friend Niki Buhlungu and her family in Emmarentia – they’ve done so happily before…for some reason Joe was very miserable and weepy and wanted to rather stay at home –instead we gave him the option to choose another friend- he agreed that he would be happy staying with Jesse Tasman and his family– the rest is history – they both bravely separated and when I called to see how Joe was doing – he said he wasn’t missing his brother, in fact it was quite nice not having him around! But by Sunday Sam called in to check on Joe and later they both admitted they did miss each other and us! Hugs for all -we missed them too.

KULFI ICE CREAM SURVIVES JOURNEY FROM ATHOL TO GREENSIDE
My dear friend Alexis Kriel, who is a gourmet Ayurvedic Indian vegetarian chef of note, offered to bring us a meal last Thursday night – I begged her to go easy on the chili as I was secretly hoping the boys would partake…but sadly they opted for just the potato and brocolli cleansed of all herb and spice and doused with tomato sauce….. She was due to arrive at 5pm but continual text messages alerted me to her delay in a peak hour traffic jam. She finally arrived at 6pm and dashed into the house in search of the freezer – she had brought us some home/handmade kulfi icecream which had almost melted en route but was somehow saved from total meltdown –must have been that fragrant cardomon, almonds and ginger. The rest of the meal makes all the Indian restaurants in Johannesburg, which she recently reviewed for an SA Tourism website…pale into insignificance – not only was it accompanied by brinjal pickle, but plum, cranberry and coconut chutney too. Whoever said that chemo would make all food taste like metal is wrong! Whoever said I would lose my appetite and lose many kilos… WRONG! My oncologist though has warned me not to put on too much weight as this will put strain on my lungs – it’s the goddamn cortisone that keeps me chipmunk-faced and hungry!
On the other hand my dietician says – don’t lose anymore weight otherwise we will have to put you onto supplements – she addressed our support group last night and told me I was looking just fine –I then tried to sneak a few sandwiches onto my plate and told her this was in lieu of dinner which of course it was!

Wednesday June 15th 7.52am Central African Time

Update on the way in next hour or so, Greenside powercut permitting, new photos on 'View Photos'.

ELLEN FLIES IN, CORTISONE IN COMMAND, SHRINKAGE UNNECESSARY, SIGNED UP FOR SUPPORT GROUP

Dearest friends and family
Have spent most of this past week doing almost full-time research into additional medication that might be beneficial to my condition, developed a chesty cough so am now on antibiotics, found a fabulous reflexologist who is located a block away – THANKS FOR ALL YOUR CONTINUAL MESSAGES OF LOVE AND SUPPORT – KEEPS ME STRONG WHEN ALL ELSE SEEMS TO FAIL!.
Much love Gisele

ELLEN FLIES IN
“Ellen Ellen Watermelon” is how Sam and Joe refer to her – to me she is my crazy, forever young, hilarious Dutch gourmet cook, friend and fellow photographer-ELLEN ELMENDORP – resident of Johannesburg, Cape Town, London, Amsterdam – sometimes here, always there….. We dined together with John Carlin whilst I was working in Cape Town, a few nights before I got admitted to hospital –“ yes you even drank a glass of red wine and showed absolutely no sign of illness” she reminded me……
She flew up from Cape Town specially to see me this past weekend, to also personally deliver the softest, fluffiest cashmere sweater ever made( a gift from her and partner David Beresford”)….and of course to take hundreds of pictures somewhat inspired by the late afternoon “Vermeer” lit kitchen where I was chopping up fruit and veg for my daily dose of juiced nutrition. (see portrait with a rose)

CORTISONE IN COMMAND
Due to my shortness of breath post chemo – have been on a weeks dose of cortisone which has energized me somewhat…but also depleted me of suitable sleep – I have had to resort to sleeping tabs –PS- no comments please from those who believe they are habit forming…OK!
Mark so generously tolerated my rapid heavy mood swings, the floods of tears, the late night snacking, my impatience and eyes wide shut….. the suggestion that we now eat ‘ORGANIC” – HE EVEN AGREED TO FAMILY THERAPY AND JOINING A SUPPORT GROUP!

SHRINKAGE UNNECESSARY
After consultation with a pshychotherapist regarding possible family therapy, I was quite reassured when he said he didn’t think it necessary at this stage – my plans to spend more quality time with each of my boys separately (oh yes- Mark and I are heading to QUIET MOUNTAIN in the Magaliesberg next weekend sans enfants) is a good idea he said – me working together with each of them and an art therapist, finally putting 10 years worth of family photos into albums, making a video, memory boxes, talking openly, being patient, humorous and living each day to the full…these were all invaluable things that we should all be doing…but which we don’t..SO HAVE ALREADY SWUNG INTO ACTION – whilst Joe played soccer on Tuesday, Sam and I went on a lunch date followed by a serious grocery shop, he pushed the trolley, pulled the items off the shelves, got to choose his favorite treats and unloaded at the check out (by the way, I paid!) – tomorrow whilst Sam is at his Hip Hop class, Joe and I will do lunch and a few errands. Both boys are so delightful and communicative when solo ….makes me realize how competitive and shadowed twin life must be.

SIGNED UP FOR SUPPORT GROUP
I cant believe that MY BELOVED Mark has actually agreed to come along with me, from 6.30pm-8.30pm, for 4 consecutive wintry Monday evenings, to a support group hosted by Cancer South Africa –As soon as I received the info from my friend Lorien Gimpel, (her mom Denise, a cancer survivor and trained counsellor will be facilitating the sessions) I swung into action, checked the program and hey! He is on board. You see, riding his new blue road bike, eating chocolate and lifting weights is just not enough really – important for us both to talk to fellow travellers, share, and hopefully absorb all the shock and change we have been dealing with since my diagnosis.

(New photos taken by Ellen).

Friday, May 27, 2005 2:31 AM CDT

WARMBATHS, BAD HAIR DAY, 2ND SESSION CHEMO, SHORTNESS OF BREATH, THE WALKMAN THAT GURGLED LIKE A LEAKING TAP

Dearest All
Ever since my 2nd chemo on Tuesday, I am now short of breath, which means this update will be shorter than usual! Ha Ha! Am currently on a weeks treatment of cortisone which has HELPED SOMEWHAT WITH THE BREATHING BUT HAS increased my appetite and will apparently make me have mood swings ….so what is new says Mark!

WEEKEND IN WARMBATHS:
No more self-catering weekends for now – too hectic doing all the shopping and cooking and then repacking all the overcatering etc. Nevertheless had great time with our friends Nancy and Feizel Mamdoo and their two boys Kamal (who is in Joe’s class) and Zaki who is 2 years younger – the boys just loved being in the warm 30 degree Celsius mineral baths which I of course avoided for fear of germs etc – this is an oord (resort) of good repute for some – great for kids but I’m afraid not great for me – the constant loud music intercepted by equally loud compere who was in charge of Bingo, talent contests and treasure hunts – so I spent most of my time quietly in the chalet finishing Lance Armstrong’s inspirational book “its not about the Bike”. Joseph was most tearful about having to return back to Johannesburg – he wants to live in Warmbaths (which by the is soon to be officially re-named Bela Bela after the township on the outskirts of the
town – ). But believe me when we left the resort and turned right onto Chris Hani Drive – I was quite relieved to be heading home – my hair started falling out whilst we were there – a trauma on its own.

BAD HAIR DAY
At 8.30 am on Monday morning there was an earth tremor in Johannesburg measuring 5.7 on the Richter Scale – never felt a thing simply because I was in the bath washing my hair when all of a sudden, whilst applying conditioner it all went into spasm, dead to the touch and formed an impenetrable mass on top of my head – this is it I thought – not only was the bath filled with hundreds of strands of my sadly departed hair, but now I had this “bun” sitting on top of my head and I had no ballet concert in mind. I burst into tears and called out for our nanny Sharon Khoza – she flung her arms around me and calmed me down – told me no ones going to worry about my hair – everyone just wants me to live! I then phoned my dear friend Lynda Ballen who has had experience of all these chemo matters via her late mom Lola – she happened to have just dropped off some shopping for me and was round the corner. More hugs and comfort and then a phone call to my hairdresser Chris who is off duty on a Monday morning. Next I called Suzy Bernstein, who is documenting my days…she came over and took pics and then I hauled my Hasselblad and tripod up the stairs and started doing more STILL LIFE photos – Oh yes, pics of the hair filled bath and my brush laden with curls – very therapeutic- Chris arrived soon after my cousins Terry Zoeller from Plett, my aunt Eithne and cousin Marilyn came for tea – thought it was a bad time for me to be having this private moment of a haircut but they said they felt they wanted to be there for me and so they were – making it all much more manageable. So snip snip, Chris cut it all off, and to all spectators delight – I now sported a short trendy haircut – slightly thinner than normal – Mark loved, the boys wanted to gel it – sadly it is now withered, sparse and hardly attractive. By next week the bald eagle should have landed! Upon showing Chris my new wig – she scowled and said NO WAYS WILL YOU WEAR IT IN THAT STYLE – so on Wednesday went to see her early in the morning and she snipped snipped again and you will see the resulting wonder in the photo section – no one can believe it is a wig – only wear it for certain occasions like picking the kids up from school, maybe going out shopping or to friends where strangers might be…. – otherwise its bandanas and beanies.

2nd CHEMO SESSION
All went well although I did experience lower back and leg pain for a while – the day after I was short of breath – went for x-rays and ultrasound this morning – thankfully no significant build up of pleural fluid so no need for drainage – doc seems to think too much chemo liquid for my body to cope with which is why I am now doing cortisone, mood swings and eating more than one should after chemo – nausea has been kept at bay via medication so this hasn’t been an extra issue to cope with.

THE WALKMAN THAT GURGLED LIKE A LEAKING TAP
So Mark put out the lights round 10.30pm, and I said…shhh…can you hear water gurgling…No! He said but then at the best of times he selectively doesn’t hear much! Then he got up and started listening – mmmm…he could hear something so I ordered him downstairs to check the sprinkler system, he checked for a leaking geyser, checked all the ceilings upstairs just in case – god forbid… my study should be flooded and my life’s worth of negatives ruined –or the boys could get drenched in their sleep, or the cockatiels could die from the “flood damage”- but still no sign of water - all was in order – this process took about an hour – I then persuaded him to go into the garden and switch off the water mains – that should have helped – but it didn’t and the gurgling continued…At 3.30am I got out of bed – not having shut eye for most of the night and I wondered around our bedroom – the sound was definitely only coming from the right side near my clothes cupboard so if it was the was the geyser why on earth wasn’t it gushing nearer to the source…. I then picked up my bright pink basket – the one that I fill to the brim with books, tapes and cds when I go for chemo – the sound got louder and louder…and lo and behold… I picked up my walkman only to discover that whilst listening to a visualization tape earlier in the evening, I had simply tossed it into the basket without turning it off …gurgle, drip drip – no need for plumber, no need for hefty water bill! Just a good old giggle and a big hug.

Friday, May 20, 2005 0:39 AM CDT

Tuesday 3pm Central African Time
Just a quick stop press to say that Gisele has just completed her 2nd chemo session - it went well, but she was feeling a bit woozy afterwards so is now at home resting...

THE SECOND OPINION, THE WIG, SUE FROM SITGES, DIANE DEPARTS
[plus new photos at "view photos"]

Greetings all and apologies for the delay in writing an update – I think I need to maybe stick to a specific day in the week and then always do the update then – not sure though that I can stick to such a schedule but let me try – let me TRY update every Friday and see if that works….

Thank you all so very much for your messages – believe me I read everyone of them so don’t for one minute think I don’t! Its almost impossible to respond directly to each of you but please know that these messages of support mean a lot to me – they inspire me and give me hope – Mark downloads Caring Bridge every morning at 6.15am when he comes downstairs to make breakfast – so when I finally emerge it is an instant treat to read all your wonderful messages of encouragement. You are my army of support so don’t ever think of abandoning my battle….I need you…PLEASE!

SECOND OPINION

As I feel more and more empowered to investigate and gain knowledge about my illness – I decided I needed a second opinion – so when my dear friend Thea Soggot mentioned that a friend of a friend had successfully been treated for lung cancer by oncologist Dr Graeme Cohen (who kind of specializes in lung cancer) in Pretoria, I thought why not try him for that 2nd opinion – managed to get an appt almost the next day and sister D offered to accompany me. Armed with reports and scans and x-rays we braved the mid-morning “race” to the jacaranda city (now actually called TSHWANE) – not easy to just sit and relax with D cruising at HER comfortable 100kms per hour in the middle lane whilst all the other cars were shooting past us at 160kms…. but we got there safely and on time which was the main aim.

Dr Cohen was very user-friendly – spent more than an hour with me – whilst I was secretly hoping he would give me “better” news than Dr Moodley …. well he didn’t – my diagnosis still remains the same: Stage 3B - NON SMALL CELL ADENOCARCINOMA OF THE LOWER RIGHT LOBE OF THE LUNG WITH A PLEURAL EFFUSION.

He says I am in excellent hands at the Donald Gordon Medical Centre oncology unit in Johannesburg so that is where I will continue my chemotherapy for now – phew! At least traffic is not going to be an issue on this journey!

THE WIG

I gathered my “style police” (Sister D, Carolyn Raphaely and Lynda Ballen) and told Suzy Bernstein, who is doing “a day in my life” photo essay, to meet us at the wig lady in Norwood. Wow! What a place – we actually needed a video crew as stills will never replicate what we saw, heard or tried on….. but one thing is for sure – the lady knows her product and so she sold me a wig like she was selling me a new car – except when she told me her range starts with Rolls Royces….I opted for the cheaper Volkswagen version.

She matched my hair color and texture and produced two stunning human hair wigs – one with a built in scalp so that when you part your wig you don’t see stitching just “scalp” – I opted for the latter and went back a few days later when it was washed and ready for a cut to my requirements – somehow it looked better when she styled it and I’m now very self-conscious that it looks too “wiggish” - she did however offer me a free “tune up” whenever I need it – so when all my hair is gone and I need to start wearing the wig (not all the time by the way – just when out of the house and to draw less attention to myself in the supermarket etc) I will do just that. (At present it is thinning, but no major fallout).
Whilst we were there endless streams of women, mainly very religious ones, brought in their wigs for washing – outside, an a bench in the shade amongst the new pansy blooms and dead autumn leaves were at least 10 wigs drying and ready for “setting” – mine is now sitting safely on a Styrofoam head in my cupboard – waiting to be worn.

SUE FROM SITGES

My darling friend Sue Carlin (ex Edelstein) who lives in Sitges outside Barcelona, with her wicked husband John Carlin (writer/jounalist who used to based in SA for the Independent UK) and gorgeous 5 yr old son James, called me a few weeks ago to say no matter what anyone else had to say…. she was coming to see me on the weekend of the 13th May. So she arrived here armed with gifts for me, Mark and the boys – gifts that you will never believe are possible to get…. unless of course your wicked husband has written a book on Real Marid (soccer team) and has access to the head honchos….. I mean…when Sue asked what she could bring the boys, I said a cap or t-shirt bearing the logo of Real would be great – but the wicked Carlin went one step further – he organized for two Beckham soccer shirts to be personally signed by the man himself…with a message for each boy – Dear Joseph/Samuel, Best wishes David Beckham…so you think this is cool….I did and so did my boys …until I was given what Sue described as the “Piece de resistance”…oh yes gals…eat your hearts out…an 8 x 10” color portrait of the gorgeous Becks on which he wrote the following message: GET WELL SOON GISELE, with love David Beckham…the boys want me to frame their shirts and I will certainly do so when I have my pic framed too.!
PS. John is absolutely not available to do this for anyone else – not even his own child has any signed Beckham memorabilia!

So once we got “over” the hysteria of pressies I suggested to Sue that there were a few outings that I wanted to do…bearing in mind that my energy is limited. So on the Saturday morning at 9.30am (there was only one other early bird in the theatre) we went to see the movie RED DUST based on the book by Gillian Slovo about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) – it was set in the dusty karoo town of Graaf Reinett (the cinematography was stunning – I thought the local actors were brilliant and Hilary Swank who was the lead actress was a bit miscast and inappropriate but nevertheless good) – sitting beside me in the cinema was sister D on my left and Sue on my right – their tears were rolling in synch with the film reel – from start to finish – (there’s something about homesick South Africans who live abroad – they come “home”, reminisce and have floods of memories of the old and what was and the “good” that now is – those of us who “stayed” however see the special and the beautiful, the positive and the negative, the forgiving and the struggle – the crime and the devastation of HIV/AIDS, and somehow we survive dry-eyed).

Anyhow upon recovery… I took Sue shopping at Woolworths who now have a superb trendy local designer range – very proudly SA etc – on the Sunday morning we headed for Constitution Hill which is actually the Old Fort Jail in Hillbrow which has been converted into a site housing the new Constitutional Court of SA, a museum and exhibition spaces galore – my friend Cedric Nunn was exhibiting his images entitled BLOOD RELATIVES- a body of images of his extended family documented over the past 20 years.

On Monday morning Sue and I had some quiet time together to catch up – so weird how when I feel strong and in breath and full of energy, I kind of don’t believe that I am ill – why cant I make plans to visit the Carlins in Spain? Why cant I make arrangements for our end of year holiday –why cant I do the 10 things a day that I used to be able to do… …. and then the reality hits me - its crazy…its real, its not just a nightmare, its my changed life… I have been put to the test and am determined to pass so I guess its best to live for the NOW.

SISTER D DEPARTS

It was absolutely wonderful to have Diane here from Atlanta for 2 weeks – it was definitely different from previous visits with me being so needy and unable to do as much as before the cancer – we had our moments though – me offloading my anger inappropriately etc – however she did come armed with tons of visualization tapes, cd’s, lung literature, lung cancer solidarity ribbons and plenty of time to cook, shop, shlepp me from doctor to doctor, labs for blood work etc. Not to mention the trays of chicken soup complete with floral arrangement which were delivered to my bedside when I was too weak to walk down the stairs…she bonded well with the boykies – got them making pizzas and even took them ten pin bowling. However Sam was quite put out when they went for lunch afterwards and she refused to allow him to order a coke – we don’t keep it in the house but I must admit we do allow him to order when we go out for a meal….Joe on the otherhand hates fizz so opts for pure water instead.

I miss her already but know that she will be back whenever I need her to come.

That’s all for now – we are going to Warmbaths for the weekend, my next chemo is on Tuesday the 24th and I certainly hope that it will go as smoothly as the first (I can manage 3 days of feeling awful and then building up my strength day by day…to all be knocked down and then to have to start from scratch again…..) Its not forever I keep telling myself…..

Tuesday, May 10, 2005 12:50 AM CDT

NO MOUTH ULCERS, MOTHERS DAY AND NO HAIR LOSS….yet.
10th May, 2005
STOP PRESS - SEE NEW FAMILY PICS AT 'view photos'

Apologies for delay in updating but hey not only did my energy levels plummet after the first chemo session….my sense of humour went down the sewers with my nausea attacks. However I am back on track and ready to roll!

The third day (Thursday) after the first session was a real shocker – could not lift my head off the pillow so spent most of the day feeling very sorry for my refusing visitors other than family. On the Friday, feeling slightly stronger however, I was encouraged by my fellow “chemo commander” Sue Pam Grant to attend a chemo mothers day special makeover session at the Milpark Hospital. It was hosted by the LOOK GOOD, FEEL BETTER foundation with makeup and beauty products donated by various international cosmetic houses including Lancome, Clinique, Yardley. So there we were – 10 of us, (I was the only non breast “cancerian”) seated round a table and surrounded by tons of beauty products, mirrors, earbuds, bibs and those funny hospital cap things which we had to wear and my god what a laborious lecture on how to remove and then re-apply makeup…

The course was run by two aged beauticians who really treated us like teenagers going on their first date.. I guess it was quite a laugh especially when a vodka-voiced russian woman Ilina, who had just finished chemo and whose hair had grown back and whose ego was beaming started regaling us with her tips for survival. She was on such a mission about alternative therapies that I was grateful that she gave me her phone number and I didn’t give her mine. But the best part was when she removed her shirt and started parading her gorgeous perfect breasts around the room – thinking that she had this amazing reconstruction job, not a scar in sight – wow! all present were eager to find out who the surgeon was – turns out that she never ever had any surgery at all (although she did do chemo and radiation – ) she just lost the plot and was showing off rather inappropriately I thought! So yes I did l leave the party suitably glamorous and ready for a date but instead I arrived home over-loaded with more lotions and potions to add to the groaning bathroom shelves….. much to Mark’s horror!

Had a quiet weekend, no special celebrations for mothers day – just sheer peace and quiet which was great.

So apparently my hair will be falling out someday/night soon. We had another discussion with the boykies and their main concern now is that should it fall out during the night, I must please immediately wear a bandana because they don’t want to be arriving in our bedroom at 6am to be welcomed by a bald “eagle” – so bandana is now stored in the shelf next to my bed. Have made an appointment with Marilyn Medalie who runs a private wig boutique – informed her though that I would be arriving with 3 friends and a photographer in tow – she was thrilled!

Not sure if I mentioned this before but I belong to an informal “phototherapy” group and today we met at my house – I asked them if they’d be interested in documenting aspects of my illness with the view to having a group exhibition further down the line – I will be doing black and white self-portraits, Rob Mills will do a day in the life photo essay and Suzy Bernstein will do a series of color head shots.

So far no mouth ulcers but should they appear I am armed with mouthwash and the likes. Everyone seems to respond differently it seems.

Our gourmet meals on wheels continues to flourish – in fact we have had delivered some really stunning meals and will further down the line do a roster (don’t feel left out – your time is coming!) as at times we land up with too much and it just goes to waste. This has helped so much as I cannot tolerate cooking smells at the moment – it wont last forever but while it does I know that Mark and my sister Diane are thoroughly enjoying especially the Indian fayre -.

Went to consult with dietician Di Plumb who was great – she told me how to combat nausea with ginger, she told me not to lose anymore weight and to eat 5 small meals a day incorporating as many salads, veg, fruit and protein. Dairies are a no no due to their mucous forming capabilities and sweet treats are verboten (fine by me as my cravings have gone)- she also put me on a large dose of vitamin C and something called coenzyme Q10.

Tomorrow D and I are heading to Pretoria to consult with an oncologist who apparently specializes in lung cancer – I need to get a second opinion before I feel confident about my current treatment protocol. In fact I have made a decision to do as much research as possible into my condition and not just leave it in the hands of the doctors who can at times be so prima donnerish….

My friend Sue Edelstein arrives from Spain on Friday especially to see me – nothing was going to deter her…. not even mention that I would far rather come to Spain and recuperate there! Apparently I can still do the latter.

Diane is now obsessively knitting her 4th scarf – therapy she claims –this afternoon we both listened to a visualization cd – I lapsed into a comatose state so not sure how much went in…it was truly relaxing though and will try and do this more often. I will really miss her when she leaves on the 17th. Time to hand over to Di. MUCH LOVE, Gi

SHOOO! AS THEY SAY HERE. I remain in awe of G and her openness to educate herself and become empowered as this will surely stand her in good stead. She shows willingness to incorporate all methods of healing. She is hardly using oxygen and when we experience glimmers of her vital self it is greatly encouraging. She has a circle of magical friends eager to help run errands, take care of the caretakers, the boykies and every facet that needs attention. We feel truly blessed by this outpouring of pure love and affection.
Much love sista D

Wednesday, May 4, 2005 11:55 AM CDT

CHEMO DAY 1 – 3rd May, 2005
……..A BREEZE ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE HOLES IN YOUR SOCKS!

And so we headed to the Donald Gordon Medical Centre – me as passenger not only experiencing butterflies in my stomach from sister D’s tentative American driving style…but because of the unknown which lay ahead.

Much waiting around reading trashy well thumbed two-year-old TIME magazines interspersed with the odd updated ELLE, and even HELLO issues. Diane managed to knit two fluffy scarves during this time….Finally we got to see Dr Moodley – he wrote up the order for the chemo, we handed it to the pharmacy on site and by 11am I was all attached to start the drip drip drip….

The treatment room was light and overlooking a garden courtyard – an untouched but well-stocked birdfeeder hung off one of the branches – the nurses were desperate that no birds had found it yet….the 3 of them, Erica, Nancy and Denise all wonderful, caring, communicative and humorous – constantly checking when the first drip bag of anti nausea had to be replaced by the cortisone followed up by the serious stuff, first Taxol and then Carbo Platin.

So once hooked up, thought it wise to get comfy too on that lazy boy chair. Diane suggested I take of my shoes and lounge around in my socks – imagine my horror upon removing them leathers…to discover holes in both my socks – the room was full of semi conscious fellow drippers who would probably not have even noticed- but hey! My pride was at stake – so I removed the holey socks and spent the rest of my time barefoot – this was a good enough reason to ask D to do a foot massage!
The whole procedure took 3 and a half hours – it seemed to go so quickly – the vibe amongst the other folk was friendly and chatty – the lady next to me, in her early 70’s has leukemia so she wore a mask to avoid any germs but that didn’t prevent her from regaling us with chemo experiences and the dos and don’ts for afterwards.

I must say the only thing that I really felt was an ice cold arm – could have frozen a few peas on it – but other than that…a breeze.

Headed home and jumped into bed as I was quite exhausted. A slightly restless night followed with too many visits to the loo (was told to drink 2 litres of water per day) to help rid my kidneys of the chemo overload – a night sweat, some tingling in my hands and feet and then this morning had a nausea attack which was soon dealt with via medication. Still managed to go and see a photo exhibition at the Goodman Gallery followed by a salady lunch at Service Station – all of which remains within my stomach. I then went to watch Joseph play in a soccer match at school and headed home and to rest round 4pm.

My next chemo treatment is on the 24th May – apparently my hair will start falling out in about 10 days time – contemplating a visit to a wig shop – just in case I get fed up with stares and comments and the pity people like to shower upon you. But anyhow this is my chance to wear that straight style I’ve been dreaming of….permanently!

Much love and thanks for all your words of encouragement – fellow warriors hang in there! The battle has just begun ……your commander in chief, Gisele

STOP PRESS - See new pictures from first chemo session - 'View Photos’!

Monday, May 2, 2005 9:45 AM CDT

PREPARING FOR D DAY – from Gisele
2nd May 2005

My sister Diane arrived from Atlanta on Friday morning and its good to have her here for support and constant input. We haven’t really managed to do all the sisterly things we usually get up to (shopping being the main feature) however we did both go and have our hair washed and blow-dried at Carlton Hair in Hyde Park on Saturday morning (no one in the salon blinked at me knowingly etc – kind of enjoyed the anonymity – this was followed by a family photo shoot at Dov Braun’s studio – the edited results of which you will soon be able to view on this site.
What has helped me prepare mostly for the big day tomorrow is speaking to people who have been down the chemo road or those who are heading there too.
Had an hour-long chat with Sue Pam Grant (actress. Artist, playwright) who starts chemo the day after me …for breast cancer – we both could not believe the coincidence and of course the fact that we are both heading to different oncology centers – she having interviewed far more than me etc – anyhow we plan to stay in constant contact to support each other and pass on tips etc. Another breast cancer chemo survivor Diana Charlton popped by this morning to give me some meditation tapes and some reassurance.
Later this morning I managed my longest walk in a month!
From the lower car park at Emmarentia Dam to half way up the hill to our annual school soccer picnic – just about 12 families who gathered for the morning – I was pretty chuffed with myself for making the effort and all our friends were delighted to see me –more offers of food to be delivered at the touch of a phone call – even Sandy Musker had a dream that she was busy making me a chocolate pudding …when she got rudely awoken – however she remembers all the ingredients and plans to deliver it someday soon –and as you speak to people you also realize that they have been down this road too with a family member or friend-seems like it happens all the time.
So busy preparing my bright pink and orange basket for tomorrows outing – Diane will come with me and I’m sure all my anxiety will dissipate once the drip gets going and the hours roll by – plenty of tapes, magazines and note books not to mention positive energy – I have to welcome the chemo concoction into my body –its here to do good work – destroying all in its wake – no point in fighting back – will do that later with all of you as my back-up team.
So positive vibes please from 9-3pm our time tomorrow!
Much love Gisele -

MY PERSPECTIVE

I am so relieved to be here and be able to help Gi, Mark. Sam and Joe. When I was met at the airport on Friday morning by Melinda I was told I could not cry or hug Gi due to germs I may have imported. Soon after a warm shower I certainly offered a special embrace. She does tire easily but is looking magnificent so much so that it is deceptive. She is determined as ever to take on this ordeal and has amazing support from all quarters. Visits in person are restricted but she does take phone-calls and is good about letting people know when she has to take a break from chatting. Meals in smallish quantities are welcome and enjoyed by the family. Yesterday afternoon in typical wonderwoman style she booked for us to attend an avant garde dance performance at the Market. Mark does a superb job at maintaining routine for the boys. I hope my presence will ease some of the stress. I will take her and be with her for the first round tomorrow.
MY BEST LOVE, DIDI

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 11:48 AM CDT

BLOOD TESTS BY CANDLELIGHT/TORCHLIGHT OR CORRIDOR LIGHT….THE CHOICE IS YOURS
26TH April, 2005

Once again power failures hit Johannesburg earlier this morning and so after some daring moves by Mark to cross major intersections we headed for the Milpark Hospital for my weekly blood thinning monitoring tests. You would have thought that a state of the art hospital such as the Milpark claims to be would be using all their generators – well turns out that doctors and labs are just not part of this option so they have to deal with darkness.

So after being dropped off at the main entrance and engaging the services of a wheelchair porter, we headed for the lift – not working said the man – power failure – oh dear….. how many stairs to climb – 20 to be exact.

That was the least of my problems – Once up it was down the dark corridor to the laboratory which was of course in total darkness – sure we are still doing blood tests insisted the sister in charge – all I could see were weak torchlights, some candles…and knowing that my veins are not that easily detectable, I gladly accepted the option of heading to the part of the corridor which did indeed have electricity – in fact a make shift mini lab had been set up –first my left arm –I hate blood tests at the best of times and refuse to look – all I ask is if its coming out….sorry mam…said the sister there is just no blood in your left arm so please can we try the right……

Yesterday went to visit the oncologists and will start chemo on Tuesday the 3rd of May – this week we have Freedom Day on Wednesday the 27th (public holiday) and then its Labour Day on Monday the 2nd May –Tuesday is a good time for me to start –on Saturday afternoon my friend David Braun (photographer) will take some family portraits of us - me with a full head of hair – he has a friend who is a makeup artist who has offered to do me up and so it should be fun – me being on the otherside of the camera for a change.

Having suture removed from under my arm on Thursday where the dreaded drain entered my lung – should have done it today but once again…due to power failure –it has been re-scheduled.

My sister Diane arrives from Atlanta on Friday the 29th so at least she will be here for my first chemo instalment.

Will put into place regular aromatherapy massage sessions with my friend Raleen, planning to do lots of visualization, hypnotherapy and positive thinking – so that’s it for now – not to mention eat healthily.

Much love Gisele

Monday, April 25, 2005 1:05 AM CDT

PRE-PESACH SEDER SPEECH BY IRWIN MANOIM –23RD APRIL 2005

(PROOF OF MY ATTENDANCE (PHOTOS) AT THIS TABLE…WILL BE POSTED LATER TODAY …WE HOPE)

In setting the tables we faced two unknowns on the guest list. The one was that perennial defaulter, the prophet Elijah, the other was Giselle. Frankly, Giselle seemed the less likely prospect of the two. But while Elijah has disappointed us yet again, Giselle has delighted us with her arrival, Last year she arrived with a very light crème caramel, this year she has gone one better, arriving with a bottle of air.
Only a few days ago, the prospect of Giselle being here tonight seemed remote, but she set her heart on making it to the Pesach seder, in defiance of all sensible advice. In so doing, she has listened to the counsel of her own heart, and demonstrated to us all her own inner strength: she set a milestone, and she met it.
Perhaps I should explain to those unfamiliar with the Pesach ritual that this is the night when Jewish women celebrate their ancestors’ freedom from bondage by placing themselves in bondage to the kitchen stove.
So on this Pesach night, when we commemorate a struggle for freedom, our hearts are with Giselle in her own struggle. And while the usual refrain is Next Year in Jerusalem, this year our refrain is: next year, over here, with a crème caramel .

Sunday, April 24, 2005 8:50 AM CDT

YESTERDAY….TODAY …AND TOMORROW….
24TH APRIL 2005

So after resting most of the day, Saturday, on our delish non-bone/muscle/ poking lumpy mattress, I managed to gather enough energy to head off to my hairdresser, Chris, based at THE HAIR SHOP in Emmarentia, about 2 blocks from where we live – My friend Robyn Solomon who has been put in charge of “operations” whilst Carrie Raphaely and Lynda Ballen
are out of town – drove me there – wow! seemed like such an expedition – in fact Chris had offered to come here and do it all but I insisted on rather going there. TIME TO NORMALISE I KEPT TELLING MYSELF…

Upon arrival at the very busy salon I was whisked off to an awaiting
hair-washing basin

– Millie the manicurist/masseuse instructed me to remove my socks and proceeded to give me the most wonderful half hour foot massage whilst Beatrice on hair – did a head massage with all sorts of wonderful-smelling lotions and potions soaking through my deprived locks. I took along my mobile O2 pack which behaved rather weirdly – like a shot of aerosol spray up the nose everytime I breathed – but according to the lady at the basin next to me – that’s how it works – on demand-and her mom has one blah blah and the chit chat begins and of course by now everyone knows who I am and why I have such an interesting “NOSE RING”- strangers came up to me to say they would be praying for me etc – eventually I just closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep….after the final blow dry – Chris announced that all the treatments were a gift – the salon’s way of saying –good luck and fight it girl! I was most touched.
–
Onto the pesach seder at the Silverman/Manoims – arrived there at 8pm and left by 10pm – before beginning the proceedings, Irwin Manoim (colon cancer survivor, dry sense of humor, wife of Melindrax, father of twin girls Lily and Rosa) made a speech (will post copy of it when he sends me a copy) – they never thought I would arrive – and believe me I had my doubts too – sheer exhaustion being the biggest obstacle. I ate a bit of everything except the dessert-avoided all the stipulated wine in case it reacted with my medication but thoroughly enjoyed the company and vibe. When we got home decided not to take prescribed sleeping tablets, the boykies slept in their own room and only ventured forth round 7am –Great!

Today they have gone off to play with their bestest friend Niki Buhlungu and Mark and I have taken it really slowly – we’ve walked round the garden, he has filled up the bird feeders, we’ve done the Sunday papers (record timing….for me…..15minutes!) and I am currently enjoying my first cup of Illy decaf espresso in 3 weeks.

Later this afternoon I am participating in Radio 702/Cape Talk’s weekly AIDS slot – I recently had published in Marie Claire magazine (SA) a series of portraits to accompany a story on HIV and Domestic Workers- the story was my idea - quite a challenge as many didn’t want to be identified. The writer was approached about taking part in the show and she thought I might not be well enough to – but I told her that I was fine – non realizing that in fact 702 wanted me to come to their studios in Sandton –told the producer I was freshly out of hospital and oxygen dependent so could they rather contact me via telephone – no problem!

TOMORROW IS D-DAY – MEETING WITH DR DEVON MOODLEY, ONCOLOGIST AT DONALD GORDON MEDICAL CENTRE WHERE HE WILL NO DOUBT GIVE ME AND MARK THE LOWDOWN – THIS TIME THOUGH I AM PREPARED –AND WONT ALLOW ANY WORST CASE SCENARIO TO DOMINATE THE FUTURE.

Much love
Gisele

Friday, April 22, 2005 9:21 AM CDT

REPORTING FROM THE HOMEFRONT – 22nd April 2005

Finally I can type up my own message to you all and once again thank you so very much for all your encouraging words of support –each one of you has made dealing with this horrible surprise…so much easier!

By the way I plan to tackle this head on – not necessarily the Lance Armstrong way – as cycling just isn’t my thing…. but I will prove to these doctors with their bleak forecast… that I am up for a fight – whether it culminates in a series of self-portraits or a video diary…. watch this space!

Arrived home at noon yesterday and my first observation was about how colorful our home is – compared to the bland grey, white and peach décor of the Milpark – my God! I realized that I missed cerise, bright orange, and purple!

The garden is in transition and autumn colours abound – the grey loeries, weavers and barbets are frantically busy collecting nesting material and chirping big time.
I now have a whole range of home- based oxygen equipment – from the electronic machine which makes oxygen provided there are no power cuts…to the cylinder which has to be used for power cuts (yes we do have them regularly) and then a mobile kit which all fits neatly into a little back pack – for those expeditions to Emmarentia Dam (have hired a wheel chair which should give Mark and the boys a good workout!), chemo sessions and trips to the bank and maybe even the shops – taking each day as it comes – quite exhausted when I have my oxygen free hour….

The boykies set up camp in our bedroom last night with one rule in place – no musical beds allowed – so there we all were..me and Mark in our bed and S and J on mattresses on the floor. We all had a restful night.

Our neighbour Anisa Munshi delivered a delicious Indian curry meal which she made – even I had a plateful, which was such a treat after all the bland boring Milpark food.
By the way – despite ordering jelly….red, green and even yellow Ms Lawson!…. I have still lost 3 kilos – the kitchen staff at the Milpark thought I was on a hunger strike because I ordered so little – but they had no idea about the secret flasks of chicken soup, sushi platters and salads and sandwiches which got smuggled in via my friends from my favorite delis around town.

On Monday Mark and I will be going to see the oncologist team that I hope to work with –they are based at the Donald Gordon Medical Centre in Parktown (used to be called the Kenridge for those of you who used to live here) – it is a high quality teaching facility affiliated to the Wits Medical School and Max Price who heads it all has sent a message saying he is available at any time to discuss any problems etc.

So…. Tomorrow I hope to have my hairdresser pop over to fluff up my hair, we are
going to Melinda Silverman for first night pesach seder – I will be equipped with my mobile canister of O2 – which means we cant stay for two long as each canister lasts for 4 hours only – Melinds has promised that we can come and go as we feel the need –
So here’s wishing you all a happy kneidlach if you celebrate Pesach and a happy restful matzo-free weekend if you don’t!
Much love Gisele

Thursday, April 21, 2005 3:34 AM CDT

NEWSFLASH!!

Gisele is being discharged from hospital and coming home today! I will be collecting her from the Milpark and taking her home at 12noon our time (in about an hour from now).

Thank you so much to everyone who has sent love and posted messages on the site to date. Words cannot express the support we have received - this has redefined community for us - we feel part of a worldwide community that starts literally next door with Gavin and Linda in 13 Quimet Street and spans the world.

I want to acknowledge the wonderful support of everyone at the Milpark, from Nomsa who has greeted me at the Milpark everyday with a huge smile and proved that customer service is alive and well in SA, and especially the many nurses and sisters and Drs Schleicher and Sussman.

Further bulletins will be posted by me in due course. Please continue to respect our family privacy for the while.
Much love to everyone
Mark.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005 3:59 PM CDT

Message from the Milpark: After a much better night in her luxxx-ury salon prive, a bath, no complaints about the nursing staff and the possibility of home on the horizon, G asked Rinky D to come to the hospital to wash her hair.

Her physio, Aviva, reported that she had responded extremely well to treatment. Maybe chicken soup does work?

G is very, very grateful for all the messages, love and support. However, when she goes home, hopefully tomorrow or the next day, she'd also be very grateful if no one visited until summonsed - she says she needs some private time to bond with her three boys.

Check out the photo section of this site to see hot-off-the press pix Mark has just posted of the only non-rock star with such a large fan club.

(As of tomorrow, Mark will be taking over this reporting job.)

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 2:06 PM CDT

The GOOD news is that the drain was removed from G's lung today. In addition, she moved from the Respiratory Acute Care Unit into a hi-lux (relatively) en-suite salon prive where she can turn the lights out(!!!) and have her first real bath in 17 days. This ward is definitely closer to home...

After a very bad night, G had little good to say about the nursing staff this morning. "Sister" Terence, the male nurse, was wearing his headphones and hardly cast a glance in her direction when she needed him and the "skindering", tea-drinking and cake-eating of the other nurses drove her nuts.

Though she is still on oxygen, the scuba-diver-type apparatus is now in a large plastic bag. Linda B delivered Service Station salads for lunch as promised and I delivered Jewish penicillin in a thermos ie chicken soup for supper. Things are definitely looking up at the Milpark!!........

Monday, April 18, 2005

G was in good spirits today though still in Respiratory Acute Care. She blew THREE balls in the air which was a major achievement, one of the drip tubes was removed from her arm and she went for another short ward-walk. In addition, Radio Highveld was turned off and Radio Jacaranda was not turned on. Hopefully, the radio battery is now permanently flat!

She was very appreciative of the tapes Lorien sent for people who have just been diagnosed with cancer and is even starting to think about food!! At her request, a selection of some of her favourite Service Station salads will be delivered tomorrow by Linda B for lunch and Mark has been instructed to bring her biryani for supper.

Nothing escapes G's eagle eye: She gave me a full rundown on the poor employment conditions of the nursing staff and made some astute observations about the social dynamics of the ward and patient politics. She was also very happy to see a spread of her pix in the current (April) issue of Marie Claire (Check out "What's Sexy About Her?")

The boys came to visit this afternoon and found her sitting in a chair and joking. She is now looking forward to moving out of Acute Care to a private ward and then going home. Viva G, Viva!!!!

Thanks again from Mark to EVERYONE for EVERYTHING!!!!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

After a hectic hospital Sunday G dictated this bulletin from the battlefront: "The physio made me walk without oxygen twice today. This was the first time I was able to walk the length of the eight-bed ward without oxygen. I can now blow two-and-a-half balls in the air with the respirator machine which is used to strengthen my lungs. This is an improvement on yesterday when I could only blow two balls. In an attempt to encourage me, the physio told me I should pretend this was my only chance to draw on a joint. My brother Phillip, who was visiting from CT, helped me perfect the technique. Phil showed me it was more effective to blow like on a spliff by placing the pipe on the end of my lips to get good results. And it worked!! Then Queen Rahlene, my personal aroma therapist, came to the hospital and gave me a head, neck, back and foot massage. So all in all things are looking up on this first hurdle and I am continuing to take things day by day. Thanks again to all of you guys out there for your continued support which is much appreciated."

G also edited some contact sheets, saw Samuel and Joseph very briefly and enjoyed spending time with Phil. Thoughtful and considerate as ever, Giz asked me to wish Geoff Mendelowitz a happy birthday !!!l

I left her digging into a large-ish slab of dark chocolate. Then she placed her blackout mask (courtesy of SAA) on her eyes and fell asleep to the peaceful sounds of beepers, monitors and Radio Highveld which the man in the next bed listens to 24/7.

Monday, April 18, 2005 1:55 AM CDT

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Saturday, April 16, 2005

When Mark saw Giselle at 7am yesterday (Friday) she was looking and feeling absolutely awful. However, by about 11am she had made a remarkable recovery and was sitting up in the chair with her mask on though she was still attached to various tubes. She continued to improve during the course of the day and was giving Mark instructions about the acidity level of the swimming pool by mid-afternoon. The fact that she was ordering him around cheered him up immensely!

I bought her a Mail and Guardian, never expecting that she would have the energy to even look at it, but she was eager to read it and also eagerly accepted a friend's relayed offer to bring her some magazines. In addition to her communication being inhibited by having to wear the oxygen mask much of the time, she has now lost her voice as well and is talking in whispers. This is very tiring and frustrating.
However, she spent some of the afternoon listening to visualisation tapes which she found very relaxing and helpful.

A Chabbad rabbi doing his hospital rounds showed up with some candles and a box of Lion matches which she said she wanted to light. She was amused that the Lion match box had "Shabbat" emblazoned on it in place of "Lion". (Only South Effricans will understand this).
She instructed me to get some kitka from the Halaal bakery in Emmarentia. We returned later armed with said kitka, salt, wine, prayer book etc pulled the curtains around her bed and got permission to light the candles for her in Respiratory Acute Care, nog al. She said the blessing for the candles with me and Lenny said kiddush.

Mark thanks EVERYBODY who has sms'd, phoned, emailed, etc for their care and support.

5 pm
I have just returned from the hospital and "Wonder Woman" is looking a million times better!! She wrote the following message on a scrap of paper:
"Aviva, 'The Hun' (physiotherapist) gave me a huge pep talk yesterday morning about my role in recovery. I told her I had no energy to get out of bed - but she insisted I do. So this morning I was ready bright and early, feeling more positive and was able to complete all instructions meted out by the 'slave driver.' To all of you out there - thanks so much for your love and words of support - they have encouraged me to be positive and strong. I'm taking it day by day, breath by breath and can only be thankful that I'm in the Milpark in Jo'burg close to Mark and the boys."

Friday, April 15, 2005

Yesterday, according to G's cardio-thoracic surgeon Martin Sussman, she was the strongest she has been since her admission. However, she had a setback and had to have another unexpected operation - thorascoscopy and pleuridisis (spelling???) - in the late afternoon.
Since she was much stronger than last Friday when she had the first op, she was in a much better position to handle this.

They drained another 500ml of fluid off her lungs and "re-glued" some of the lung lining. Sussman said the procedure went very well. After about an hour in theatre, she returned to Respiratory Hi-Care, not the ICU as before.
She was not in pain, rather discomfort afterwards. This means she will be in hospital longer than we had hoped. Sussman can't say exactly how long - it will depend on progress.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

G is still in the Respiratory Intensive Care Unit, recovering from the op she had on Friday to repair the linings to her lungs. The linings had become separated as a result of a fluid build up and needed to be "glued" together.

The op was a great success, but left G in a lot of pain. Over the days she has gradually been regaining her strength and today she showed a great improvement... She had regained her colour, was bossing Mark around and generally showing signs of her acerbic wit.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

For the record, I added this e-mail on Sunday April 17, three days after the web-site went live. It was the first communication I sent out on G's behalf on Thursday, April 14. Hopefully, it will prove to be the start of a story about the healing power of love, friendship, incredible support and a tribute to an extraordinary woman.

Dear all,

I'm sorry to send a group e-mail but it is very difficult to respond individually to all the calls, text messages and e mails for G from around the world. This is to be expected since we all know she is such an extraordinarily deeply loved woman. I have given her a list of everyone who has called, "text'd" etc on a daily basis and have also passed on all yr e mails. She is very grateful for the outpouring of love and concern and is looking for ways to turn this horror into a creative experience. All ideas welcome. She is going to need much love and support in the months ahead.

If you are wondering what G 1 means.....I can only send e mails in batches of 15 and the number of batches are growing daily. Just to let you know that Lenny (my husband) is currently constructing a rudimentary "GET WELL GISELE" web-site where we'll try to post regular bulletins, messages and keep you all informed. It will be live as soon as G has given final approval - she is still giving instructions from her bed!!

Though I went to the hospital this am, I didn't see her because she was being x-rayed. However, yesterday her condition had improved dramatically and I found her sitting up in bed without the claustrophobic oxygen mask. She even laughed a little when I told her about a friend who spent Saturday night in the hospital parking lot, under the largest tree she could find in the darkest shadow - for fear Mark or myself would catch her when visiting wasn't allowed! She just wanted to be near G so she and and her mother meditated, said some mantras and sent G positive energies!!!

Forgive me because I haven't time to send a detailed e right now. I just want to get this communication rolling......

Love to you all,
Carolyn.

Monday, April 18, 2005 1:55 AM CDT

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